How To Reduce Stress, Regulate Your Nervous System, Break Your Phone Addiction, & Find Inner Peace Ft. Jesse Israel

How to heal your nervous system, break phone addiction and find inner peace.

“This episode is like teaching you all the things that you need to do to regulate your nervous system.”

I was very inspired, okay? Jesse Israel. He is a renowned keynote speaker entrepreneur and founder of The Big Quiet. He's known, I'm sure you guys have seen him on social media. He leads some of the largest mass meditations in the world. He actually also leads meditations for sold out arenas with Oprah Winfrey. So no big deal, he knows his stuff, okay? I have said that the nervous system is going to be all the rage for 2020. And here we are, people are ready to get their nervous system regulated.

So if you're someone who runs hot, anxious, depressed, tired, whatever this episode is for you. Jesse, welcome to The Show. Jesse, how do people find peace and silence the noise in 2026? There's a lot of noise. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of different ways to explore it. You know, when it comes to quieting noise today, there's a handful of kind of like key buckets that I like to speak about in teach.

And it's everything from like what you'd expect around making space stillness practices, the importance of solitude, how to change our relationships to our phones, we can dive in all that stuff. But it's also like deepening in community. You know, it's having a sense of belonging, a human connection.

“That's the best way to quiet the noise in the head, right? It's to be with other people, to be of service.”

One of the best ways to cut through the noise that comes out of us today is to have real meaning attached to what we do and why we do it. How do people manage their phone? This is a great subject right now. Yeah, it's so real. It's actually one of the things that I see people are most excited about being permission to change the way they do things. Because we're not really taught how to use our devices, especially like for our generation. We grew up with these things being handed to us and it was like figure it out.

So we have never really learned healthy habits and boundaries for our devices. So our phones are so smart and the apps are so good at keeping us hooked right now.

That I really recommend that we pay for technology that helps. I love this app called Opel. If you guys heard of it, Opel. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm actually not affiliated with them, but I'm a huge advocate. Essentially what it does is it lets you set up office hours for any apps. But I use it especially for Instagram. Instagram is the one that gets me most hooked that I'll check when I'm at a red light in my car really quick.

You know, like that quick hit. And it's also the one that affects my mood most. So with Opel, I've set up office hours on it. So I can only check Instagram from 5pm to 8pm. So if I'm trying to get in there any other time of the day, it blocks me out. And if I really need to get in there for something, you watch a 60 second countdown.

“And you have to just, you can't like change out of the apps if you just sit there and watch.”

So you can get in if you need to. So like if the team put up a video for this show and we need to accept a collab. You could do it with the only way it's just sit there and go through this. So you can get the work that you need to get done, but then you get out. Exactly. It breaks and it only gives you like 5 to 10 minutes when you're in there. So it breaks the muscle memory of constantly checking. But that's interesting. So then what it does is it takes away like that quick dopamine hit.

Because nobody wants to sit there and wait, but if you have an intention around while you have to get in there, it basically creates an avenue for you to do that.

It makes it more intentional for you to be in there. Yeah. I'm going to get that. Do you wake up in the morning and check your phone? 30 minutes minimum every day once I wake up before I check the phone.

Game trainer and it's actually so important. 30 minutes meditation. No, no. It doesn't. I do meditation, but it doesn't have to be. It can it can be anything for those 30 minutes.

But what we know in the science shows the first 30 to 60 minutes of the day upon waking are brains are in this.

It's it's a neuro biologically sensitive state. So what this means is whatever we expose our brains to and those first 30 to 60 minutes of the day, significantly impacts our stress response, our ability to focus or mood for the whole day. So if the first thing that we do in that neuro biologically sensitive window is check the phone, email updates, headline, social media, all the shit.

The first thing that we're doing is getting that influx of information. It's scattering the nervous system. It's shifting our focus around. And when we start our day on that foot, it really impacts everything we do for the rest of the day. So if we can get that 30 minute window to just be like pretending that you're asleep with the kids. Eating breakfast and actually paying attention to what you're eating.

It's significantly impacts the rest of what we do.

“When you stop checking your phone in the morning and then you go back to maybe checking it when you're on vacation, it's jarring.”

Because it's like you've trained yourself not to check it. I noticed I've been really thoughtful about the morning, especially like I don't want to be on my phone. In fact, I find it like almost disgusting. I don't want to be on it. So you do this, you practice this. I don't, I try not to touch my phone until 10.

Now, when I go on vacation, sometimes you'll pick it up in the morning. It is a significant difference. You notice it. Well, right now, we're living out of the hotel with the kids and we're here. We're working and so like the pace is a little different than we were at home when you have a routine.

And so yeah, like lately, because I had this problem for a long time and been beat up on the show for it, I would check it. And now I've been putting it in my office and I literally like, we're in our house, like you can't get to my office without going upstairs. And so the phone is all there and I go downstairs in the morning, so I'm like, okay.

So it's kind of like, do a hike before I can get to it. But now to Lawrence Point, we're in this hotel and we're working. It's like right there because it's charging in a different place. I caught myself today and I'm like, you're, you're right on your back foot. Yeah, yeah.

When you break out of those habits, it makes it more challenging. I also, this is like a random tangent, but I also have been reading a lot of studies about even plugging your phone in next year ahead that there's it's so bad for you. Like the phone should be apparently in another room on airplane mode, no Wi-Fi away when you're sleeping. Ideally, no Wi-Fi no Bluetooth.

Yeah. And at least in the bathroom or away from the bed. And it's, and it's not just great for stress. Like when the phone is not in the bedroom, it makes the bedroom a place for bedroom things. Yes, it is.

“Yeah, for resting, for intimacy, it's really important.”

If someone wants to start a meditation practice tomorrow and they don't want to feel overwhelmed, where would you tell them to start?

I always suggest that people actually learn meditation and not just like close their eyes and try to not think.

It's incredibly discouraging if you do it without guidance. So if you can't access a teacher, there are a bunch of apps that you can start with that will kick you off with just five minutes of practice. Just five minutes is proven to significantly help our mental health and our performance. We invested in an app called the way. We've heard of it in the meditation application.

Check it out. It's basically it's guided meditation from a teacher and they have different, they have different ways you can use. Tim Ferriss has been really vocal about it lately, but for me, it's helped a lot because I used to try to just like white knuckle it. Yeah. And it was super frustrating.

I think it's something stuff. Yeah, like you just naturally were able to jump into it. But for me, it's a harder thing to do. So without it, it teaches you how to how to get into it. That's an ideal way to kick off.

The way sounds great. I also love recommending one called the new calm. And you see at LM. And what's great about it is there isn't any guidance. You actually just put on headphones, ideally, where I'm asked, you can lay down. You can set up or you lay down.

And it uses vibrato acoustics and frequency. So just by listening, it shifts your body and mind into a theta state. It's a good, useful healing state. So it's great for like ADHD minds. People who's brains are extra racie.

And it really works. That sounds like the shift wave. The chair. Oh, the chair? Yeah. Yeah, there isn't a physical component to it.

But yeah, I haven't tried the shift wave. I heard it's great. You like it? Do you have one? Love it. Yeah.

You would love it. Shift wave needs to send you a chair immediately. It is. There's a plug. Amazing.

It truly shifts the state of your body. So sure you're in a meditation. What I do is I turn down their meditation. I put on the meditation. I want on my phone.

And then I turn up the vibrating aspect of it. And it truly takes your body into it. Into it like a totally different state. It's wild. It's amazing.

It's amazing. She doesn't have the use of it. I don't know what's going on. By the way, my kids use it. My kids are drawn to it.

They'll come sit on it. Because it feels so, so good. It feels so good. It's supposed to help with your HRV, right? I don't know.

I haven't seen that. Oh, it makes sense. I just know when I sit down from when I get up. It's like a totally different vibe. Completely shift wave.

Let me send you a chair. Let's go back with you a little bit.

“But how did you get interested in this space to begin with?”

Were you always in meditation?

No. So I started a record label when I was a sophomore. I was at NYU. My roommate and I learned about a band called MGMT. You know, those guys?

They were making music for fun at Wesleyan College. They were a year above us. I was 20, MGMT there, 21. And they made this song, "Kids" for a class assignment. I love that song.

Great song. Yeah. The class assignment was to make a pop song. And these guys that weren't in a serious band. They actually weren't even planning to be a band.

They just made this song for fun. And it was such a hit on campus.

And people would go nuts.

It's a little teeny college.

“So we had heard about these guys in the song.”

And we formed a little dorm room, record label, to release "Kids" and to get them in the studio. We snuck them into a studio that our friend was interning at. We made the "Time to Pretend" EP. The song "Time to Pretend" is on there.

"Kids" is on there. They recorded electric fields. Some of these early... I love electric fields. And a lot of these songs...

That's exactly the whole album I listened to when I was 21. Yeah, right? Yeah, that was such an era. It was such a moment in time. But they recorded these songs.

A lot of them just on the spot. It was like... They were just channeling shit. It was just coming through. It was pretty cool to witness.

But anyways, we didn't know what the hell we were doing. And it took us about three years before we kind of figured out how to help them pop. And we supported them in an upstream deal to Colombia. That had a big major label. And they just exploded.

And all of a sudden, I was... I just graduated from NYU. I was like 22, 23. I've been running a full-time business. I was a student.

I put a lot of energy in being a student. And our label was taking off. And we were going a lot of festivals. And you know, going parties. And a lot of big intense events.

And it was really fun. But I'm a sensitive guy. It was... it was too much for my system. And I didn't really understand what was happening. And I later learned I was having panic attacks.

And I was having pretty debilitating anxiety. So I needed a tool to help me navigate. Literal. The literal noise that was coming out me in the music industry. Plus, all the pressure and demand I felt was placed on me.

As a founder. I know you guys understand this. So my dad introduced me to meditation. He thought it would be something that would help me. Really with my... with... with quite in the internal pain and kind of challenges I was experiencing.

And it was so helpful. And it became this really meaningful part of my life. So when I'd be at music festivals. I'd be backstage. And I would invite other music managers.

Executive. Sometimes musicians before they go on headline, you know. Major festival. It'd come in and we'd have a little moment of quiet together. So we'd be off to the side in quiet at a place like Coachella.

When there's ten stages blasting music and like 200,000 people on shrooms, like going nuts.

And there was something really powerful about creating quiet in the face of all this noise.

And I started to get these little downloads. I was like, I would get these visions. It was like the whole festival being quiet. And what would that feel like? Where do you think the panic attacks came from?

“I think that the panic attacks came from a handful of things.”

I mean, one, I think some of it is genetic. Like there's a threat of anxiety in my family. I think a part of it was also, I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in high school. People have like varying opinions on that diagnosis. But I do think that my brain works differently.

And that like I have a lot of energy. And it will go towards different things. And it's easy for my brain to get overwhelmed. And I think that that intensity in the system can lead to things like panic attacks. And yeah, just more intense emotion.

And I think it's the overwhelm that I was experiencing. I also think that when you're around all those fake lights. And it's nighttime. And you're in Coachella. And there's all these different strobes and colors and fake lights.

And then there's all these different sounds that have different frequencies. And you know, and different vibrations. And then you're experiencing all these people's different energies. Right. And some maybe you don't want in. And then you have people who are on a different frequency on drugs.

And some on hardcore drugs like meth or coke or whatever. That probably made it even worse. It was like all these like fake like almost like Disneyland. Yeah. But on crack.

You know, I mean, it's like, there's always, when you, when you're going through Coachella,

I'm hitting that. I'm just saying like, if you're already feeling bad. And then you go to this artificial light and all this music and all this energy and all these people and all these drugs. It's going to make it worse.

“No, well, I mean, I think like in the entertainment industry.”

There's, there's a lot of things that come at you fast. Right. And there's a lot of, I think there's a lot of experiences that are not like so natural. I don't know how to explain it other than like your, there's a lot of performance involved. There's a lot of energy involved. There's a lot of pressure on that performance and that energy. There's a lot of, there's a lot of attention.

Sometimes warranted, sometimes unwarranted. And I think if you're not somebody who's mature enough to like to handle a lot of that, it can become extremely overwhelming. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great point, especially because I was so young going into the industry. Yeah. And a lot of it, too, was, I'm modeled what I thought success looked like based on older peers in the music industry.

So a lot of it from you was comparison, chasing, and doing that based off of something that ultimately wasn't really who I am or who I was.

But I got to learn that the wrong way.

“And at what point did you guys start to see success in your, when you're in school?”

Because like when I look back on my college days, you know, we were kind of just me and my friends, flowering around, we're part in. But we didn't have, like it was just a normal college experience, right? Like we didn't have any kind of success or financial success until years later and after. I can only imagine if somebody gave me those kind of resources at that time, things would have got off the rail real quick. So how are we able to manage that at that age?

It actually, it wasn't super lucrative at that point. It was more so there was a lot of attention and a lot of it. So it was more like access to, to great events and, you know, hanging out through really interesting. It was more dangerous thought again, but again, it was all of these things.

And I'm grateful for it that pushed me into finding these practices that were ultimately really healing and helpful for me.

And would go to lead to me leaving the music industry and starting the big quiet. Because I found myself in this position where more and more people wanted to join these group meditations. So you went from doing them backstage to my buddy's office space and downtown Manhattan to eventually get invited to lead them on main stages at major music festivals. And then before I knew it, I had this new business. And through the big quiet, we were gathering thousands of people to get quiet together.

So it was all meant to be. And I needed to have those challenging experiences to find this thing that led to this new project. And allowed me to ultimately bring meditation and millions of people. Quick break to deliver a message from our friends in Starbucks full in part time Starbucks breezes get up to 18 weeks of paid parental leave.

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And make sure you use our promo code skinny so they know we sent you. Why do you think so many people don't want to get quiet? Why do you think that it feels so overwhelming? I think for a lot of people getting quiet and just sitting with ourselves means stuff coming up that can feel really scary and uncomfortable. I think for a lot of people, we believe that feeling uncomfortable emotions is wrong or bad.

So we'll do whatever we can to constantly distract and keep ourselves from feeling discomfort.

“And what I've learned in the more recent years of my life is that when we can allow ourselves to feel and be with whatever is going on down there,”

especially the stuff that's uncomfortable, if we can be with it, feel it, let it come up, let it come out on the other side of it, we're in our power. We feel clear, we're more aligned with purpose, we're able to really bring our true selves to what we're here to do. So we have to feel this stuff, but I think a lot of us don't want to. For a lot of people, there's really uncomfortable shit that comes up when we're quiet. So we distract. I think you almost, like for me, I would rather be quiet for an hour than talk to a therapist.

I think more can come up like you just said in a more powerful way without having someone facilitated.

I agree with that. I'm a really, really big proponent of extended periods of no interaction with devices or other people. And I was extra hard for you guys with the three kids and the two dogs. But I've sent hundreds of people on these trips where you go away for a weekend, you rent an Airbnb, you go by yourself, you keep your phone off for the whole time, no laptop. All you have with you is your food, you're going to cook a book, a journal, and that's it for anywhere from two days to like a week. Sounds amazing.

It's actually, I believe one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves in the world today. You could maybe get one of those like for people with kids, I was thinking about because I think that would be really interesting for either of us to try even for a weekend. But even for a day to be honest, and you could get one of those kind of burner phones that, you know, in a real emergency if you need to do that, but then you don't have the screen or the phone or the other day for social, just like if people with kids want to try something like that.

“That's what I do. I have a flip phone and only my mom has the number or when I was in my relationship previously, my ex had my head the number, but besides that, that's it.”

So you have the way to get the emergency contact if necessary, but and I have supported a lot of people in relationships, people with kids going on a trip like this obviously involves a lot of coordination. But they come back changed. And how so? What are the things to call my things you see? When we make space to be with ourselves without any distractions for a minimum of 48 hours, what I see consistently is this, the first 24 hours are really tough. It's like a junkie without our substance, right? We want to check the phone. We want to know what's going on, like all the things it comes up and it's really uncomfortable.

And then when that passes, what I often see is things that we have pushed down and we haven't looked at will surface like something from an old relationship or an argument that happened in business with, you know, an ex business partner, you know, things that maybe we haven't even touched on a couple years.

The stuff starts to come up to the surface. And it can be real uncomfortable. And when I always encourage people to do is just be with it. Don't try to fix it, just let it emerge.

So the best ideas I see will hit people in those moments, once the junkie period has passed, the tough emotions have passed, all of a sudden it's like they're channeling something's moving through them from a creative standpoint.

And then most people when they get back from a trip like this, they love themselves again. They're able to come back to this place of appreciation for themselves.

And I'd say inner wholeness, like we are so reliant on external stuff to make us feel good and hold in the world. And it's it's such a trap because when those external things, if they're relationships, if they're business, if there are kids or families or romantic partners, if something changes with those things, it impacts how we feel about ourselves or mood shift or happiness, you know, transforms. But if we're able to find that within ourselves, if we can feel whole just for the person that we are and for the relationship that we have with the greater power, you become really unstoppable.

“And I think that these trips without distraction really bring us back to that place.”

I want to do that, but I want to live by candlelight. Even better. I don't want the electricity because we did this experiment with Ryan from test my home where he turned off all of our electricity in the house and your nervous system immediately relaxes. Yeah. It's so weird when the electric everything just goes down.

No, why? Yeah. I want to be by candlelight. That's what I want to do. But then I feel like what I get scared by myself.

I've had some mom. I've had some mom. I've had some mom. I was on do I have time for a short story? Yeah.

Right here.

The first time I did a solo trip like this, I decided that I would go big fort.

It's I did eight days. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing. Just journal flipbook.

Eight days. Yeah. All my food. There's no like TV or netflix. No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. Don't sneak it in. There's no horn tailor. There's no horn hug. Nothing.

No digital devices. No digital devices. No connection. It's a Wi-Fi. You got a couple books.

You get your journal. You bring your food.

“And a lot of what you're doing is going on walks throughout the day.”

Resting, taking baths. Like you just let your body downshift. It was really hard for me. I did this one. I was, I did this one.

I was 30 and 41 now. And I just started the big quiet. I didn't really know what I was doing or where it was going. But I went into this into this week. I rented a cabin in Julien, California, a couple hours away from here.

And I laughed. Yeah. I went into that trip. So burnt out and so fried. I could like barely handle, you know, a phone call.

So I go into this trip. And it's tough at first.

And then I'm like in bliss for the second half of the trip.

It means incredible. And there's the last night of the trip. And I was, I was feeling so great. I'm making my final meal. I remember I was cooking rice.

And I turned off the water. And because it's so quiet.

“I mean, I'm experiencing essentially, you know, eight days of, of only nature sound.”

And I, I rented this cabin where you couldn't see anybody nearby. There were other cabins, but they were pretty far away. But anyways, I'm making my rice. I turned off the water. And in this moment of complete silence, I hear, um, I hear this sound.

It's like me. Like what? Yeah. Sounds like it like a ghost. And I freeze them terrified.

I haven't seen a person eight days. And I listen in and I, and it's, it gets stronger. It's the sound of what sounds like an old woman going, oh, me. Oh, can't you get a minute alone? I would be like, this is so curvy or enthusiasm.

Yeah, right. You're going to fucking middle of the woods. Yeah. And the ghost visits you. A bear was eating an old woman in the woods.

I put my head up against the glass window in the kitchen. And I look outside. It's very dark outside. You can't really see anything. And in, in the little like, there's like a little like breakfast table.

The breakfast table out in the garden. The couple like, you know, gardening, breakfast table chairs. And I see the outline of an old woman in a nighty kind of hunched over. Oh. What was it a real woman?

I mean, I'm just, you're hallucinating. I don't know if I'm hallucinating. Or if this is a real thing that I'm witnessing. And I'm pretty terrified. And I call the owner of the cabin on the landline because there's no service there.

I don't even know where my cell phone is. And the owner of the cabin says, we think that this might be Jane. She's a, she's a neighbor in one of the faraway cabins. And sometimes she gets out. And I'm gets confused.

And he said, call for her.

Oh, Jesus, help me. So he says, it's safe. You can let her in.

And I'm like, bro, are you sure?

He's like, if she's okay. So I open the door. I let her in. I'm terrified.

“And she comes into my cabin and this big dogs with her.”

And I sit her down. She's injured. I think she had fallen. Her elbow was was a little bloody. And they told me to call.

The local police department to help her out. So I'm trying to make sense of all this. I've called the police in about five minutes. The entire town's fire department. Ambulance police.

It's probably like 30 30 of these individuals are here in the cabin with me. The dog that was with her, I guess was like a dangerous animal. So they make me keep it in my bedroom. They all leave. They take her.

But they can't take the dog because they need animal control. So I wound up having the last night of my trip with this kind of rabbit dog in the bedroom. I saw the couch. But the moral of the story is, I went into that trip. I couldn't show up on a phone call.

I was so fraud. By the end of the trip, I was unfazed by this experience. It was like, I had 30 people in the cabin with me. It was a really chaotic scene. I was just like, let's go.

And when I came back from that trip, my business exploded. I was just like so ready to go. And I really point to that trip, including that unique moment,

as really necessary to give me the fuel to then ultimately build the big quiet.

It was funny on that trip. I was reading the biography of Oprah. And I had this feeling that I was going to work with her. I also was getting these visions of guiding meditations and arenas. All things that would go on to happen years later.

That came to me in that. Do you think it's just because you're able to finally think clearly and create a vision for yourself in that moment? Or it's because you're able to block out all the noise

“and just really like contemplate what you really want out of life?”

Partly of that. But I think that there's another piece to creativity. That is beyond us. And it channels through us. I really believe that.

And I really felt that with a lot of what we built with the big quiet. It was like something was moving through me. That wasn't necessarily my idea or my creation. But it came through me. And I was like the vessel to bring it into the world.

And I think a lot of our best ideas move through us through some type of a greater power. I have this other theory with this, too. I think we are all at capacity. I think our thermometer is about to burst all of us.

I think we are inundated with content. If we have kids, the kids want to watch the TV. It's on and on and on. There's so many things to do. You never stop.

It's a hamster wheel.

“You should be posting 24/7, et cetera, et cetera.”

So we're all at capacity, which gives us no space to be creative. We've also just lost the ability to sit and be bored. But then when you go away and you take all those things away, you're able to have more capacity and how do I know this because you tell me by the end of the trip you're dealing with 30 people in your house. If you told me right now that I have to go back to that hotel and there was 30 people in there with a dog in the other room, I would, I would be like, I don't have the capacity right now with everything that's going on.

The moment shows a bit of a picture table in the middle of the night and text, I'm like, "Blow it away." But it's just like, you don't have any almost patience for any outside inconvenience because...

You never improve for it.

You don't have room for it. And so I think when you create the space like that, it makes things that maybe would normally be stressful, not so stressful. So to me, what I want to know is after that woman experience when you went back into reality. Did you feel things that would have bothered you before a little tiny things? It was it less?

Way less. Yeah. It was that week and this is true with the weekend version of this too. Doesn't have to be eight days. This can also be the case when you do a weekend version of this.

It's almost like industrial strength meditation for an extended period of time. I came back from that week so resilient, not only creative, but just so resilient with whatever came my way. So then the question for me became, "Well, how do I... I can't go do eight days all the time?" Actually, I don't think I've even done that since then. So it's like, "How do you find the micro ways to bring that into our lives?"

And 24-hour version of no phone, not being away from other people. It's like techsab of Friday night sundown, Saturday night sundown, no phone. I'm going to try that. Is incredibly potent. And you can do that with your kids, you can do that with your family, you do their friends.

So there are other ways to work it in and still get the benefit and the impact of it. We've got to get ahead of it. We've got to plan it and we have to be willing to create those boundaries. If it's open or if it's taking 24 hours, if it's putting your phone in the office and instead of the bedroom, all these little things, they build up and they help.

Because last thing I'll say about this, Cal Newport is a great author and academic. She has this theory about solitude deprivation. It's this idea that we are deprived of being ourself. You wrote deep work, right? You wrote deep work.

And it makes sense.

to access ideas, to develop.

“And we don't have it and if we're by ourselves for a second today, we're actually not because we're on our phones.”

So we really miss out on what becomes available to us, like you guys have said. I also think there's this really famous celebrity that has this sign and I was talking to them and they were saying that their sign is so depressed. And they said their sign just sits in the room and wakes up and looks at his phone and he's just on his phone all day long. And obviously anyone who does that is going to be depressed and we're living in an age where the teenagers and the 20 to 30 year olds are on their phone all the time from the second they get up to when they go to bed.

I actually think like, you know, the generation below our generation gets a lot of flock. But I think if you like when we all got these kind of devices, we had largely gone through elementary school, middle school, high school college. I didn't get an apple like phone until I graduate. So I have the flip. So I like the blackbird, you know what I mean? So you got to have all of those adolescent experiences that entire time. Many of these young kids now could given a phone, sometimes at the age of like eight or nine, but a lot of them like as they get into middle school and high school.

So they've never had the ability to kind of just like sit quiet, be bored, be alone, not be connected, not be stimulated.

They where I feel bad for them and their parents because like love the parents weren't taught either is like that's the only reality they know. When you start talking about a world where like you don't have these things like for that generation that's like flipping their whole world upside down.

“Like we remember at time when there was landlines and when you didn't have this connection and when you didn't have the, you know what I mean?”

So like you can you can look back like oh at that time I didn't feel this anxious right? Didn't have this anxiety or I wasn't this stress. I really didn't care what other people online were doing because I didn't know for them that's that's all they know. Do you think there's going to be rehab for the phone? I think there already is. Do you think it's going to be more and more popular? I think it will become, well I think we'll see two things. One thing we're already seeing right now is generational pushback.

So Google search results for terms like flip phone are up 15,000 percent right.

That's what I'm doing for my kids when it's time for a phone. We're going to flip phone. You can call me we don't need an Apple watch sitting. You said to print out the map quest directions. Yeah right. We're doing. Get in the car and no Kia a snake.

“Oprah Winfrey. How do you introduce to Oprah Winfrey? And then what is that like working with someone who is so loved and so powerful and so extraordinary?”

So with the big quiet which became my focal point for the 10 years after I ran my record label, we went on the road and we were bringing these mass meditation events to really interesting places throughout the country and eventually the world. And we would tour just like we would tour bands, but we would tour these mass meditations. And it was cool for me because I went from being behind the stage supporting talent, performing at places like Coachella, to actually being on the stage, got in meditation, speaking, talking about things we're talking about here.

And my team and I were touring in Chicago. We actually did a big quiet event at the Museum of Natural History there, and Oprah's team came to the event. And they had been producing Oprah's next arena tour, which was going to be happening in a few months. And they thought that the big quiet experience would be something that would be interesting for her programming and for the audience. And Oprah is a big meditator. She's also a really big proponent of quiet and a lot of stuff that we've talked about.

So they suggested that I come on tour. Initially it was just the first tour stop that I was going to be on. And they gave me a 30 minute slot. It was really fun. I did like a little mini TED talk. I guided a meditation for about 15,000 people, which was unreal because at that point in the big quiet, we were doing like 5, 6, 7,000 people, but 15,000 people. In closed, in a space, if one person coughs, everybody hears it. If one person or if one box up in the corner of the arena decides that they want a party and just talk, everybody would hear it.

Oh, I'd fuck up your whole event. I got this cough that's for a little bit. There's this big cough. It'd be so annoying. Thank God that he hasn't gone to your event. Wait, did anyone talk and fuck it up? So I was a little nervous for that first one, especially on one of the biggest stages in the world with Oprah.

And like you could hear a pin drop. It was really powerful. Actually, there was quite a bit of emotion in the room.

And then for the last 10 minutes of my stage segment, Oprah decided to interview me. She asked me questions kind of on the spot. And it was a really special moment. She really appreciated the meditation.

And when I said goodbye the next day, and they're about to go on this, you know, ten week journey, touring arenas throughout the US. The producer called me the next day and was like, Oprah really enjoyed the experience. She liked you. Would you be open to coming for the whole tour? So you know, so I got to check my schedule. Let's take a quick break to talk about just thrive. One of our favorite long-term partners. If you've accepted bloat cravings in that post mill crash after eating as your new normal, I'm challenging you to feel better.

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Lauren Bostic for PeaVolv. What is the most amazing thing that Oprah's taught you?

So, there was a lot. I mean, what was really cool about Toran was with Oprah was learning from Oprah. And the first thing that comes to mind was seeing the way that she treats her employees and the people that have helped her build what she does today. She's the best at bringing other people up with her. She doesn't have to be what's it called a benevolent benevolent benevolent. But like yeah, people with some people say there's benevolent kings benevolent queens, people that basically give and bring people up without asking for anything in return.

Right. And they just like they just land their platform or their resources to help her. No broken does that. He's done for a lot of comedians. Yeah. There's a lot. I mean, I think you do that learning for a lot of women and a lot of people, especially like people in the service industry and beauty industry.

“I try to do it all the time. It's I think that it's important.”

Yeah. No, but she's I think like Oprah is the I mean, she put a lot of people on the map. So many. Yeah. And what's interesting was I'm specifically referring to the people that aren't on public spotlight because she's done that for so many people who've built there. You know, they're public facing careers, but Oprah has crazy retention. The people that have worked with her have worked with her for coming up on 40 years. Which it. And you know that that's rare, especially when you have like a major public figure.

I've got a barnacle behind here that's Taylor O'Connor that's worked with us for 20. Well, that's because he knows he knows the big barnacle. He knows he knows we know some of the things that he's so, no, I'm just kidding. We've been I mean Taylor and I've been together for what Taylor 20 years now, closely. Yeah. The thing that that I saw that was really cool was the last night of tour actually this is a final tour stop.

“There's a rap party. It was in Denver. And I think most people at Oprah's level at a rap party like this, they would come.”

They'd show face for a little bit and then they'd leave. There were 300 people that toured for this event. It was a really big tour. And what Oprah did at this event was she had the production team build a little stage at the rap party. They like rented a huge restaurant. They had a little stage built. And Oprah took three hours, spent three hours inviting up the key people of her team one by one onto the stage with her.

And each time one of these individuals would come up on stage, she would thank them and she would recognize them for their greatest gifts. Like she can see people in their zone of genius. She's able to say, you helped us make this tour successful because of this unique gift that you have that I know you have. So people felt recognized and celebrated but they also felt seen for their superpower. And I saw each person get off that stage just like on fire, so lit up. I saw her do that for three hours straight. And it's genuine, you know, and I'm like those are the things that have allowed her to keep that team to be able to have the reach and impact that she has.

You're the best barnacle. You're literally so responsive if it's after 2 p.m. P. S. G. You're so good at interrupting our shows for postmates deliveries. I love it so much. Revealing my phone number on air. Thank you for sharing my home address and where my children sleep to the audience. If you could wave a wand and have everyone do three things for their nervous system, what would those things be?

The first one I'm really passionate about this one is for people to understand that feeling uncomfortable emotions is the greatest gateway to their power.

It's easier so than done. But if you feel anger, this understanding or this thinking that anger is bad, that there's so many wrong with us, that anger is something that we need to push down or hide. It's not accurate. If we can find healthy ways to release anger, healthy ways to grieve, to cry, especially for men. We can learn how to feel emotions that are trapped inside of us and emotions essentially energy that gets trapped in ourselves. We feel it. It leaves ourselves. And what we notice is that old patterns, the limiting beliefs, the things that have kept our nervous system stuck and triggered, it starts to shift and leave.

It's one of the best tools to reset in the nervous system. Feel feelings when you feel them. I got a whole crime practice I can get into if I need to. Let me make Michael and Taylor cry. That's pretty easy. Really? Yeah.

It is. You're just bitching at me and go start crying.

“That's what you think will make you cry.”

I'm just kidding. No, no, there's things. I think what you said about men is really important because there's something that I think many men are ingrained with words. You feel like you shouldn't, you're not supposed to do it. Since I've had children.

You cry all the time about the children. Well, I think it opened up in like an art opening one. But I'm in for sure when I was younger. I think this is changing now. You just think you're not supposed to do that. You think you're just supposed to push it down deep.

Totally. I think it does a lot. I think it then with men, unfortunately, a lot of times it comes out with aggression. And then that creates a ton of problems. Yeah.

The wounds that men carry tend to repeat when we don't allow ourselves to access those feelings. I do a lot of coaching and advising for business leaders and executive celebrity stuff like that.

“And a lot of the sort of high-powered male archetype that I tend to work with a lot in business.”

It always starts with, I'll introduce them to meditation.

I'll get a meditating. There's like six months where it's just meditation, building awareness, starting to suit the nervous system. And then we'll reach this point where we can start to get into feeling emotion. And when these guys start to learn how to release anger in a healthy way or cry, it's crazy. When these guys learn, they've been told that crying is a weakness their whole lives.

And then they learn how to release that trap energy and agree for sorrow from whatever they've been holding onto from their past. They come out on the other side, performing at their businesses at a whole their level, showing up for their family and kids at a whole their level. And being able to enjoy their lives at a whole their level through the gateway of feeling something that they were always told to make them weak. That's so interesting when my little son, he's three, he gets cranial sacral therapy.

Great enough. And that's my accident. Is it amazing? Yeah. It's like amazing.

Great stuff. The best. But he's getting it. And when he's done or during sometimes he has this release of emotion and he'll start balling crying. And what I've noticed is when it's happening, it can sound like almost like a tantrum.

He's getting it all out. And then when he's done, he's like home. Yes. It's bizarre. So I can see what you're saying in a different way.

Well, imagine it's really good for him. I know. I know. That's so good for him. Well, when you see the credit card every month, you're like, holy fuck Lauren, why do you have

to spend all this?

“Can you explain cranial sacral's my hand bag and shoes?”

One thing is, in listen, you could just drive down to the office nine minutes away and stay like literally three times the cost and just do it in the office. Not with three kids. I'm not doing that. You can do it with three. I go to the office.

Okay. So, but tell us why cranial sacral's so many times. It doesn't look at the credit card. Yes, the perfect person. cranial sacral therapy.

So, first of all, my accent I've referenced, she's cranial sacral therapist.

So, I got a lot of free tuneups, which I now met. That sounds, you know, they're going to pull that clip just easy. Your ex gave you a lot of free tuneups. Tell us about those. Cranial sacral's so great because it's so they call it like the role's voice of bodywork.

Shout out, Melissa Duffy, my ex. It was a great cranial sacral therapist. Okay. But end of Enria. It is a really meaningful, it's like a really gentle massage that essentially is a way to get in touch with the neural network and this very subtle network of the nervous system.

The blocks that get, that get stored and held in our nervous system and a lot of them are emotional blocks. Start to be able to flow more fluidly. There's an actual fluid that moves through our brain. It gets blocked up when the nervous system is messed up. So, when it starts to move more fluidly, things start to move and flush like what you see with your son as an emotional release.

But then when it leaves the system, nervous system gets back into its natural healthy flow. So, it's how I'm moving that fluid. I am so passionate about what this is done for my family. I started with my baby because I think everyone should look into this when the baby comes out because they have like a birth trauma through coming through the canal or being pulled out through C-section. That's real.

So, it's the lightest touch and the baby was like we had the comest, easiest baby, and I attribute a lot of that to getting everything aligned after being born. And then from there.

There's the first one we did it with and he's on third.

So, the first two we didn't do that. Right. And so, then I was like, oh, why don't you do it on me? And I was like, whatever. And she did it.

And I've been doing it once a week for nine months. I feel like it's been nine years of therapy, like talk therapy in nine months. And I sent my dad to her. He's obsessed. Both my kids go to her.

I also think as you said it helps with their detox pathways. So, if it's hard to detox for certain kids, it's really great. And then Michael did it.

But she said Michael is one of the most difficult people to get through.

That it's like a note with alligators. No, but I think because. I let her write in. I just mean like. No, but I'm trying to do it.

And I think it's because, especially for a lot of men, you, you push things down. And they get very deep. And I, this is a real tangent. But I was having these back issues. And I read this book by this guy, Dr. Sarna, which I recommend everyone that has back.

I don't know if you've heard of it. I've called Healing Back Pain. And what you realize is like headaches, ulcers, or back pain.

Or a lot of these things that we think are pain.

It's, it's the subconscious mind pushing pain out of your mind and into a physical place in your body. And so when you learn these things, a lot of this pain largely goes away. I think the same thing with cranial signals, you got to be able to penetrate. But for some people, it's harder than others. Especially if you, I don't want to generalize to remember, especially if you've been a man that's been told your whole life.

Like, hey, bury that stuff deep and don't talk about it. Like it just, it gets, it gets stuck in a different way.

“You have to, you have to work harder to dig it out.”

It takes more time to get in there. I've also found that, and this is one that anybody can do without a cranial secretal therapist, without any money exchange. Such a great one for all people, but especially for men is this anger release practice. If you feel anger coming up, our tendency is either released it in a violent way or to suppress it. And my favorite anger release tools, you go into a bathroom.

You go into a place where you can be by yourself, essentially. And you grab a big towel, like a shower towel, and you squeeze it. Essentially, you ring the towel dry as hard as you can like this. And you put all of the anger and all of the emotion, all the shit that you're feeling, into that squeeze. And if you're able to, you can let out a big yell.

If there are people in nearby rooms, you're not comfortable doing it. That's okay. But you just put all of the energy into it. You can't break the towel. So you can give everything to it.

And you'll feel a really intense energetic force move through the body, goes into the towel. And when we release it, we notice, it's a noticeable change. It's like almost like a little sensation of less laughter afterwards. Next time you're being rude to me, you better go in that bathroom and you better ring that towel.

“If you're making more cries in the bathroom, you have to try to get in.”

Just fighting my demons and the bathroom with the towel. I mean, listen, that's a good way to release it out. It's a great way to do it. My kill two birds is one stone. They might want to the kids, my back off the bathroom a little bit.

Chug a little privacy. Just hearing their screaming, my lungs out. We need to put our phone away. We need to take breaks. We need to stop with all the stimulation all the time.

And we need to have nervous system resets. Is there anything else that you would leave our audience with that you think is really valuable? I just think in addition a lot of what we've talked about today is creating space, right? And distance from our devices. And making time for ourselves being in nature and these practices are so important.

But I also just believe so much that another key to nervous system health, but also like moving into our power and feeling like we can really be the person we're here to be is through connection.

“And I think it's so important that with the closest people in our lives,”

we push ourselves to be vulnerable and to be very real with what we're experiencing.

I was reading recently about Robin Dunbar, who's a celebrated anthropologist, sociologist.

“The research that he's been seeing shows that the single greatest predictor of mental health, physical health and longevity out of anything.”

That he's seen through his research right now, is the quality of relationships with the three to five people that you're closest with. So the quality of the relationship of the three to five people that you're closest with is the single greatest terminator of your health, mental health, longevity. So I just think that there's so much there about leaning into connection with people like coming back and forming bonds with people in our lives that we've lost touch with.

You know, really making sure that we're investing in the people that matter most because it's such a critical part of being human.

And there's also such a meaningful personal benefit to going there. Jessie, thank you so much for coming on the show where can everyone find you and where can they support the big quiet movement. I can learn more about me, I'm on Instagram @ JessieIsreal and my website. JessieIsreal.com. Go to him and post some penis.

Thank you, Jessie. I want to do. And no, I was going to go there, did you? I'm going to do that. I want to try to do that either one or two, they're at least two days. We should both do that and just take a week. Can you ever do it together?

No, no, no, no. Okay, I'm just wondering if it doesn't take the purpose away from the quiet then it changes the energy.

Some people will experiment doing it as a couple without talking, but it is different.

I would say, I would suggest as a starting point. I want individually. Okay, you can go first. We don't have to go so far, but you can go, we can find a place. Yeah, yeah.

I think you especially are so cerebral. I'm going to go screaming with my towel. No, if you don't have like air, I feel like it's, it's not good. I'm more micro. I get, I do my 30 minutes of meditation every morning. You do 30? Great.

Every morning. Great. He does, I do JoJo Spencer. I love him. You do the morning that specifically that morning meditation. He, that meditation has built my, like, a lot of my career because what I look at it like is a strategy session with myself.

That's, and because some people are like, I don't have time to meditate. I have time for a 30 minute strategy session with myself. I've built my business, the podcast in that 30 minutes and the life that I want. He sometimes does Jo. No, what I've got.

But what you like to do is he needs to go away, like a cat. Cats go away to die learning. Yeah, you need to go away. And then you need to be left alone. And you're lucky.

I know that about that. No, no, I prefer, and again, I'm not an expert in some still trying to learn. What I've noticed about myself is I prefer when there's not somebody's voice talking to me during the meditation. More either like some kind of music or sound or what I'm trying to come in. Yeah, I don't.

Listen, and I like Jo and some others, but I found that if I had the choice between the two, I like when it's. You know, who else I like every night I like to do, but this one I don't do like I do while I'm like doing my skincare is Louise. Hi, evening meditation. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love her.

Yeah, she's OG.

“Oh, what's the name of the, of the jail one that you do every morning?”

Do you remember? I'll show it to you. It's called the morning meditation. That's the one I thought, yeah, I've done it before. It's like, it you meditate on your future of yourself.

So you think like where you are in a year and where you are in five years and where you are in ten years. And you think about you during that 30 minutes every day, you literally create the life you want. I find it to be, I mean, there's no better business advice. Go have a 30 minute strategy session with yourself. Build your business, your family, your life in that 30 minutes.

Everything that I've wanted to happen has happened. Of course, systems have helped me get there.

But the overall vision, that meditation is really powerful.

Yeah, cool. It's awesome here that you do every day. But I could go away until I could still go away for two days though. Yeah.

“And I have a protocol, I can share it with you guys if you want to.”

I would love it. And I still don't want it. So you actually like have a light, I tend to refer what you do by yourself. It's really effective. I'm going to give you my call.

Thank you, Jesse. Thank you so much. I love you.