499 - Iran Forever, Belfast Riots, & College Commencement

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Our whole business has been sold over Shopify. Now, let's start our test on Shopify.com. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show. J.D. Vance says, "War is done in a year. How cool is that?"

One more year, we've been a little skeptical here of device president J.D. Vance. But I think it's fair.

One more year of a war that no one wanted that we seem to be losing,

sounds like a good deal. I mean another 12 calendar months of humiliation on the global stage with economic ramifications for all seems fair. It can end tomorrow. Another year of a humiliation for this country

and further proving that we are not militarily capable in the way that we thought we were. J.D. Vance says, "I ran war will be history in a year." Well, good. And what kind of history will it be? That's the real question.

Fun history.

“Remember that war and I ran, you'll say,”

wasn't that a hoot? Fun, fun, fun.

The war in I ran Trump wants Carg Island,

which is the home of the Iranian oil infrastructure. President Trump said the U.S. military will attack Iran very hard tonight. But then he keeps doing this thing where he threatens the regime with a bombing campaign or ground troops, or he kind of teases nuclear annihilation.

And then nothing happens. So it's an interesting strategy. We just threaten to do something and then nothing happens. And then the Iranians tell us to fuck off. And then we go, "Hey, you want to end the war now?"

They're going to not really. So I think they've, they've, they've, they're straight. So for mouser are closed again. Here's the other thing about these wars. After a while, you just start losing, like, you know,

you'll be talking to people. Is the straight of her mouser open or closed? They go, "I don't know." Who knows? After a while, like, the Russia Ukraine thing,

it made me think about it. During year four of that, whatever the hell that is, wars don't work anymore. Russia should have been able to beat Ukraine, even though we gave Ukraine a bunch of shit.

We gave them a bunch of weapons. Some money. But Russia should have been able to handle that, but they didn't. And we should have been able to take care of Iran, but we did it because wars don't seem to work.

You can't win these things unless you start newking everybody, and there's nothing to win. What would you even win? If you win, you lose because now you have this country. That you have to control.

We all learned all of these lessons with Iraq and Afghanistan, and actually we learned the before that with Vietnam, but no one really cares because there's a lot of money to be made in war. And there's a lot of money to be made in the chaos

right after a war, in like the aftermath of a war. So the goal here, I don't even know, is the goal to win? Do the people who are, do the people who push this stuff even believe we can win? Do they even want to win?

What is winning? Or is it just kind of like, what if we just had chaos? And missiles flew around, and they killed some of our guys. We killed some of their guys, and you know, we hold some territory, give some territory up.

“That's what they're doing in Ukraine and Russia.”

I don't even know what's going on in Iran. No one knows. But it doesn't seem to be. You can't govern the world anymore with this use of force. You have to do it the way the Chinese did.

They did it with like TikTok. They did it with corporate espionage. They're doing it with a belt and road initiative. They're going all over the world. They're like building schools.

and African other countries.

“The economic reality of the streets of Hormuz being closed”

is more of a more of a disruption to the global economy than a missile flying into a base in the UAE. Even though nobody wants to see a missile, you know, but nobody wants to see US military bases blown to bets. I didn't.

Some people, though, but that's clearly not as much of a thing as the traits of Hormuz. That's all they talk about with this war because it's a choke point where you could sever the pathway where a huge amount of the world that is 40% of something like that gets its oil.

40% of the world's oil is something in that, in that capacity goes to places like Korean, Japan, and all of these places that need oil.

And so this idea that you can just

militarily affect the change you want in the world. The 20% to 27% of the world's petroleum and crude oil goes through the streets of Hormuz.

“20 million barrels a day which equates to roughly 25%”

of all global maritime oil trade. It's a big number. 27%, 30% whatever it is of the world's oil being cut off is a very big number. So you cannot affect change with military,

you know, the way that you thought you could. It's an economic game now. It's an economic game. So I don't know what's going on. I would like the war and I ran to end, but we have to find a way.

This is what we have to do. Listen up. We have to find a way to to declare victory and leave and and and and claim to have achieved our objectives. Or be it.

Realistically this was a huge humiliation.

“There's no other way to really say this.”

This, but listen, you get knocked down, you get back up. This was a big disaster in every way. The messaging, the actual strategy. Everything was bad from top to bottom. This whole thing was a nightmare.

But if there's one thing we have in America, it's a rapid sense of delusion. I was just in another country in England for many days. Almost a month. They don't have that.

And some people say, well, that's sad. They don't have it. Because it's nice sometimes to have a, you know, quite unhealthy level of delusion. Most people in our country walk the streets with a level of delusion

that that in any same society would put them in a straight jacket. If you've ever listened to anyone for more than I don't know three minutes, you're aware of how psychotic most people in this country are. They all believe they are the star of their own movie. And they are building an empire.

You know, when you leave the country, you realize people go to God dates and fuck and go to Spain. And they drink wine and they enjoy their lives. You know, you're going to date in America. It's like a nightmare.

You're sitting across the table from somebody who's like, if I just get the right team around me,

I can finally accomplish what I'm looking to do.

I have to build the right team. You know, I had these ideas, but nobody was really supporting me when I needed them to support me. But now that it's starting to bear fruit, I have to make sure that I have an infrastructure and play it's crazy.

Everyone's good. So those are the people we're communicating with. So we don't have to stick around in Iran. We just have to find a way to cowardly and shamefully run away. Back out.

Run away. Shamefully. While seeming like we are the victors, this is possible. It's America.

I have faith in us. We must turn tail. And scram. But while doing that, scream about the victory. Tell people how victorious we are.

We must come up with some way to prove that this was a massive success.

While running away like cowards. It is the only way out. It's the only way out. In the middle of the night,

“we must move all of our military out of that area.”

And we must have a big press conference here in America. And we claim that we've destroyed Iran. And their capabilities have been significantly decreased. And we only stopped hitting them because we are humanitarian. It's hard.

That might be the angle here. We only stopped because they begged us. Now, meanwhile, I ran, selling us fuck you. Let's keep fighting. Forget that shit.

We need to say the only way. The only reason that we stopped that war is because they were on their knees. Bigging. Three days of class should show the Iran conflict is entering a dangerous new phase. President Trump warns Iran will pay the price for not reaching a deal as both sides.

But then he said, we have a deal. Like reset, you know, when I record this, I just check my phone before I sit down and go, is there a deal?

And there's always a deal.

And then there's always kind of not a deal.

“So that's why the only thing for us to do is the most American thing in the world.”

Run away. Run away. Run away. While screaming. That we are humanitarians.

And that we came in there. And we destroyed their capability to detonate a new can Manhattan, which is, again, why we went into this retarded war. Was because Iran was going to have a new. And they were going to detonate it in Manhattan during the next.

And by the way, can I say for a minute here with the next? I wish I had. I wish I shared the passion that other people do. For team sports.

“Because the level of excitement that people have over.”

You know, their team winning is something that I've never shared in.

And it's sad. I like when the next win. I like good things to happen to New York. But I, but I don't have that thing in me. Where when they win, I would want to.

You know, I saw a guy and he's hitting a spurs fan with a street sign. And him and his friends are stomping out the spurs fan. And breaking his ribs with their feet. That level of passion is something that I don't have. And I regret not having.

I actually feel like my life would be better if I understood where that came from. And if I could harness that type of energy. I've seen, I've seen things on the internet. Regarding this. Where I, I'm looking at people.

It's like fault like cops and riot gear on horses. People, there's the melee in the middle of the street. People getting beaten within an inch of their life because they had a spurs jersey on. And I wish I really wish I had that passion for sport. Because to me, it is fun to be a part of something.

It is fun to grab a stranger who is walking out of a game who is rooting for the opposing team and give them brain damage. It probably is fun. Now I'm morally against it. But I'm just, I'm just saying I can't access that level of excitement, that level of devotion where I go. So what if I go to jail for attempted murder?

This is my team and this is our night. So if I happen to break someone's neck with all of my friends because we're stomping on their face outside of the garden, that's just what we do. And it's not only in New York, it happens in the UK. They shut down trains that connect different towns in the UK when football matches are on,

because they don't want people getting on trains and going to the opposing teams town and killing them. This is insane to me.

There's no part of me that really understands number one delighting so much in the accomplishments of people you have nothing to do with,

“which, by the way, is I understand that that's what the whole thing's about.”

And I'm for it. I think all that stuff's good. The pageantry, the sport, the excellence watching people that excel at what they do, they're the top of the game, bad bit of that. But what I don't understand is the, the, the, the need immediately to go find someone in the street after the game or and kill them. I, I don't get it, but I, but I feel like I wish I did.

Does that make any sense? I wish I could understand it.

I wish because I look at it, it seems savage and inhumane and all of that.

But maybe I'm just being a pussy like I, I want to understand what it feels like to go. Remember after game six, we killed that guy. Remember after game six that guy came walking out trying to find his hotel and we just killed them. We just stopped on his ribcage until one of them pierced his heart.

“You know, like remember that, that was, that was fucked up.”

Yeah, but you know, that was game six. I know it was all on the line. That's what you'd say. Yeah, it was all on the line. But these are the people you have to explain the Iran war to it doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter. We don't have to give them a coherent explanation as to why we're leaving or not.

They're, they're trying to kill each other over basketball game. Why do we have to give them a coherent explanation? Why in this one area do we have to be honest about what happened? Lie and cowardly run away and say that we did it. They're just decimated. We won. It's got to be better than threatening them over and over and over again and doing nothing.

That's got to be, it's got to be advantageous for us as a country to just stop threatening them and just run away. It's, it's, it's okay. It's what America does after a while. We get bored of these wars and we leave. And no one, because it's raw, raw in the beginning, but none of them have like a big definitive end. They just go on and on and on and he's so straight of horror moves up.

You stop caring and, you know, the casualty numbers trickle in, they trickle in. There's a lot of games, gamesmanship that the Pentagon press conferences. They switch out a defense secretary here and there and general here and there. You know, but most people check out. Most people are ready checked out of the iron war. They just don't care. They don't, they don't need a big finish. They don't need it. This is all wars forever that I've ever remembered. They start really big. And everybody's excited because we're going over there to fuck them up.

And then we usually declare victory prematurely and then over a period of years, we quietly kind of get out.

“That's what we do. There's no big, you know, it's not like we stand up there with the head of the guy.”

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I'm also a chanel maldo naro and I'm the founder of Yaui, the founder of Yaui, the founder of Kunstwerke and Handgefährtich. So far, a lot of Shopify, because Shopify, in comparison to the other platforms that I tested, I was really satisfied with it. I've always thought about it before. All tools for the development of the business are important. For example, from Lager, you find the right in the dashboard. Start now on a cost-nose-test on Shopify.com. For now, there are around 2,000 to 3,000. Let's see how far it is. The biggest advantage of Shopify for me is that we don't need any technical information for the company.

We all know about the back end and the front end. And as soon as we go to Dubai, the online shop. If you want to buy Shopify, then you will find the platform that's really cheap. You just have to pay attention to it. Our whole business is on Shopify. Now, let's start a cost-nose-test on Shopify. Bring up Bell Fast. Some of the riots in Bell Fast. My people, of course, not in the north of Ireland, I'm Southern.

I come from my family, come from Ireland.

Anti-immigrant riots leave Bell Fast on edge. Everyone is afraid. So here's what's going on.

More news out of the UK, a Sudanese migrant refugee guy was trying to be had another guy in the street. And there's video of this. And I'm really reticent to play it because, you know, we've played a lot of grizzly videos on this show. We played that kid getting stabbed last week. Of course, we've played things Meghan McCain has said. I don't know if we want to really go into this here.

“Is there a way for you to bring up a video that's not as grizzly?”

But I mean, you know, it's got to have a little grizzly. But not, we don't want to go over the top here because again, it's a guy in the street. And then there's another guy sitting on him and beheading him. We're trying to behead him in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Well, by the way, when me and Sam talent went there and had a great show, there is a great pizza maker there in Belfast,

who does amazing job and you'd say to yourself, and he makes Detroit style all these different styles of pizza.

He's amazing. I don't know his name. We'll get it. But it's great pizza, and he made individual like these big pizzas for me in Sam talent. And I would wish I had his name because I would support him. And he said, let's try to find it out. Belfast, a pizza maker here because this guy, and I mean, he's probably running around at a ballad club, a lighting thing's on fire right now.

“But it doesn't matter. The pizza was so good. Yeah, I think it's one of those award-winning guys. Did he win an award for this?”

Is this the greatest pizza on earth? Was that him? It's got to be him. How many flat pizza? So let's shout out flat pizza in Belfast because they have truly some of the best pizza I've ever had. Now let's get this beheading up. But check out flat pizza in Belfast if you need to refuel while riding and burning and killing. Flat pizza in Belfast. Some of the best pizza you will ever have because riding does get right on an empty stomach.

All right, so here's this guy cutting the head off another guy in Belfast, Ireland. What's there? He's just held him right there. Oh, there's some hanging there. Yeah, get off him. Can we stop it for a minute? This isn't a great commercial for migration. I'll tell you this. You know of all the, this isn't like the reading rainbow of migration ads here. You have a Sudanese migrant cutting a guy's face off in the middle of the street. The aesthetic of it. Not great. Just after 10 30 p.m. last night on Kinea, Kineard, he had it.

Avenue, north Belfast, a man was slashed and stabbed in a frenzy to tack with the suspect on top of him on the ground repeatedly hacking at his head.

He puts a honey on it, but it's sort of a hot honey, but it isn't, you know, so much of the hot honey now is all you taste is honey. He didn't do that. I think he used a sourdough crust.

It's really good. He's an artist and I don't say that lightly. So this guy's trying to cut off this guy's head. He's a foreign national. He's shouting in a foreign language during the assault. So he's on top of the other guy going, and so now play some of the Belfast rides because the people of Ireland, they've had enough. They've had enough of this stuff.

“And obviously listen, let's make a disclaimer here. Obviously, that this, you should not be going up to innocent people.”

No one should be justifying burning the homes down of innocent people or violently attacking innocent people.

This was wrong during BLM. It's wrong now. Everybody knows it. It's wrong. But there is an issue with migration all over the world, and this has got to be figured out because this is causing massive instability in these countries. And we're going to, you listen, people that you bring into your country should be adding value to it. That doesn't mean everyone will. But if you bring people into your country, they shouldn't be cutting people's heads off.

They should go, I have a fun new food.

“I've come to your country, and I have a fun new candy. Take a look at this. It's Turkish delight, which I don't love. But you know what I mean?”

People that come to your country, they've got to add a little something. You know, by and large, the Mexican population in America is really the hardworking Catholic family oriented, great food. Does that mean that we don't, you shouldn't have a border or everything like that? No, you got to have a border, you got to, you know, but the Mexican immigration's added. That doesn't mean that you can have a conversation about the levels of immigration. How many people should come in? How do you, you know, figure out a way to screen people? All of that's important.

“But immigration should be a benefit to a country. You can't just have people coming in, and I'm not saying everyone's badding everybody, obviously.”

But if a guy in the middle of the street sits there and is trying to be head someone and screaming in his native language, that is not by and large, a phenomenal advertisement for continued migration. It's just not. There are images that are seared into your mind, and that doesn't mean that it's representative of all immigrants that come in. It's obviously not. But this is a very bad commercial, for example, we've, I grew up in the golden age of advertising commercials, you know, every, by father cried, this is how much my parents, my boomer parents loved being propagandized and lied to.

My father cried at the bud's, why is there Clydesdale's that took me, there was a great commercial with a bud's, why, bud's or Clydesdale's took me in Jersey City, staring at the World Trade Center. And the World Trade Center was gone. Obviously, this is post 9/11, and it said from one American icon to another, let's see if we can find that commercial. My father cried at that commercial. My father did not cry when my mother said, I'm going to divorce you. He didn't cry when I said I was gay. He didn't cry when many of our family members have died, but he did cry at this.

[Music] Sobbing like a psychopath, like a drunk psycho. [Music] Tears falling down his face at this, at a beer company, paying homage to an inside job. [Music]

They took a knee, it is this is powerful. This is powerful, that's a powerful commercial.

We'll never forget. Budweiser, get drunk and kill someone with your car. Anyway, the point is this, commercial is played a big role in my life, advertising plays a big role in the American psyche,

“and dare I say the psyche of people all over the world, right?”

An image matters. And if you, for example, let's just use a toothpaste,

Crest toothpaste, who does not advertise on their shelves, so I feel very comfortable giving an example of Crest toothpaste.

Usually, the Crest commercials are like, I got a date and I got to use these white strips to get the stains and the rot off my teeth and the smell of rot out of my mouth. It's the Crest thing, right? Now, if the Crest commercial instead was a guy drilling into the roof of his mouth with a drill and blood coming out, and the guy was clearly mentally unwell and psychotic, and they said Crest white strips, it can even help this guy. And he was drilling into his mouth, and he was sitting in an empty room, a dimly lit empty room,

and he was drilling into his mouth, and the blood was spurting out.

“And then they called the executives in and they go, hey, hey, what happened?”

What is this? My point here is this.

This is a bad commercial for immigration.

It is a very, very bad. And the government of the UK and the EU, which is now become really a supernatural organization where all these countries are losing sovereignty, because the EU is determining the levels of immigration, or it certainly wants to. And the EU is determining fiscal, it's just determining, you know, monetary policy, eventually fiscal policy. The EU is determining the greenhouse gas emission standards.

The EU is a supernatural organization in Brussels, where they're going to decide how countries like Ireland are governed and what the people in those countries have to put up with. So, play it again, just play that again. And again, it's crazy, but I got to make my point about a commercial. This is a commercial for continued Irish migration. Here it is.

Let's hear that one more time. Get all of it. Get all of it. Get all of it. Get all of it.

Get all of it. Get all of it. That's great. I'm gonna get all from your fucking rat. That's great. Play her. Let's hear that one more time. Get all from you fucking rat. Yeah, get all from your fucking rat. You're fucking wrong. All right. So the people in Ireland do not want to be beheaded and of course, that is racist.

Obviously, it is racist. If someone ceremonially is beheading you because they come from a country where that's done.

“And you don't understand that. That is in inherent racist attitude that you're having that you need to look into.”

You need to look into and address those feelings. Just like if you're unattracted to trans people, you're transphobic. If you don't want it to be beheaded in the middle of the street, you are racist on some level. It's buried. It's deep. It's buried. But if you look at a guy screaming in a foreign language while he cuts the face off one of your neighbors and you go, I don't like the direction this is heading in. You have an internalized racism. Just like if you don't want to go out with a woman and suck her cock at the end of the night, you are a transphobic person. This is just now. It may be buried. It may take years of therapy to unearth and get out of you.

So let's look at some of these riots now because people are unhappy and this is what this is what happens when people feel like they don't have power to affect change anyway, but finally. The BLM riots. People may agree or disagree with them, but a lot of black people in this country felt like policing. There's a lot of there was not enough accountability for bad cops who did things to the black community and then were able to escape without any accountability. The frustration that anger, the fact that the American justice system has been incredibly unfair, you know, putting nonviolent drug offenders and jail for many, many years ruining their lives, giving them felonies, the inherent issues with that system, which we most of us realize, the anger there boils over and it becomes something that's uncontrollable.

All shows that they do not want it, but they cannot stop it. They have no power to stop it and so now here they are out on the street. This is Northern Ireland.

Tonight's police firing water cannons against rioters as they threw projectiles back, a new evening of more violence exploding in Northern Ireland, protesters building a blockade, homes and vehicles set on fire this week, here a bus a blaze in Belfast.

“My number's house was set on fire. My number's house was set on fire. My number's house was set on fire. My number's house was set on fire. What did my neighbor do?”

I don't even know if that's. I should be able to do a broad order. Oh, I'm not making light of it obviously. I'm saying that it's not good and it should they need to address the concerns of the people.

Because there's massive riots there. When I was watching that guy tragically get almost beheaded in Belfast, I thought one of the crazy things is that I don't think they have Morgan and Morgan.

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But they don't. They don't talk about it. So there you know what I'm saying good.

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The agra is registered trademark of the address speed specialty lc hymns is not affiliated with the indoors by the address. I think you know, I feel good about that. You know, I do think it's good when someone has a trillion dollars. I do, I think, you know, if I I wanted to give a commencement speech and I I was not allowed to I petition several colleges and was not allowed to know is across the board. And then they've got to know a bomb back you see that speech at the service like oh, it's so genius. No, a bomb back. He's like dumb cliches.

He's like, you know, no, I'm no a bum back and don't it was whatever was mediocre slop. I'm not saying he's not talented. It was a mediocre slop fast that speech. It was a slop fast that no a bomb back bullshited. And I watched it because everyone's like, he got a standing ovation. It's profound. And the whole thing's about he wrote a play in college and it got a bad review. But he persevered who gives a fuck. These commencement speeches suck. So it was like that. It's like masturbatory crap like that or it's like.

I prefer a commencement speech where someone goes, you got to get on board with AI or will kill you one way or another.

“Instead of no a bomb backs mediocre slop fast that I had to watch this crap.”

Let's play a little of this crap. Please, Bradley and the Board of Trustees and the faculty for welcoming me today and to congratulations to the amazing graduate.

Go in the middle, get in the middle of this. Just anywhere. If this herb office enough to deter you from continuing this is the guy who told him that profession. If you can take away something positive from each rejection, you will be growing and inevitably improving your craft. Please extend our warm readings to Brad Salmson, who is the stage manager. Sincerely, that did it.

“And so I'll leave you with this random man's vitriol as you all go out into the world and seek your fortunes.”

You can't believe that was the end of the speech. When I read this letter at age 20, I was stunned. It was difficult to know what to do with this feedback. If we can call it feedback. When I found it in a box again at age 45, he says he's so successful. These people are it's unbelievable. He's still holding he wrote a shit play in college.

The guy said you're play socks and he's still holding on and he's trying to like shame the guy with a commencement speech advisor. Because this guy can't get over he's still like a 17 year old. And this is supposedly amazing and I can't give him a keep going. I want to keep watching this.

I'm accustomed to rejection. It could never be as bad as I remembered.

Amazingly it was kind of worse.

“But this is the worst thing that ever happens to these rich stop it for many. The worst thing that ever happens to these rich constant go to vasor is someone tells them they're not as much of a genius as they thought they were.”

This is the only problem that most of them have had in their life is that someone at some point in their life and I know a bomb ex supremely talented. I wish he believed that. So he wasn't up here talking about this rejection. He got 30 years ago, but you know they automatically immediately all the kids are on board with this. Okay. Because they're all like, yeah, well, yeah, I totally get that because like somebody told me that I was actually not. Keep watching this and this was the build is like the commencement speech everyone had to watch was so great. Keep going.

I wish I could tell you. By the way, one of my retarded agency will probably set up like some meeting with his production company next week or something. I'll just be sitting there. I'll be like, I'm a huge, I'll go like this. I'm a massive fan and I saw he didn't he did a commencement speech recently. I thought it was brilliant.

I thought it was actually kind of brilliant the way he brought up a rejection he got 40 years ago at Vassar that he's still holding on to. Wow, that was so amazing. Keep going. Keep going with this.

Everything happens for a reason. And when the door closed, a window opened, but it wasn't. After I received this letter, I did not wander out into the street in a days and get hit by a car and the driver of that car didn't turn out to be my future wife. I did not turn out to be a famous producer who wanted to make all of my movies. None of that happened. And I wouldn't meet my future wife for another 10 years and we'd get divorced. All right, it's fine. It's good. It's good.

There was no unexpected rose that came from this sharp thorn. So why do I share this with you? You want me learn from this? What? Tell me, waiting. Tell me. I would caution any playwrights in the audience to send their work to this specific producer. But when I looked him up a few years ago, I discovered that he passed away, which also put to rest any hopes I had of reaching out to him and inviting him to the Oscars. How gross, how gross, how petulant childish and gross, how petulant childish and gross, that you're using your commencement speech at Vassar to settle a score with a dead guy.

They didn't like a shit play you did 30 years ago before you even knew how to do the thing you're doing. What a disgusting get him out of here.

I don't know who would let me do it. I'm going to freestyle as I do every episode, everything I say, but I don't know who would let me do what college would let me do it. A community college, right? Like Fresno or something California, it'll be a shit one. Because they have graduations for community college because they, because certain people from a community college will then go off to a four year degree, but most of them after they graduated community college, they will then start a terrible life.

But they don't want that to be known. So there is still a graduation. I don't even know if they have commencement. Can you AI ask one of the AI, Claude or whoever, as soon as they have commencement speakers at community colleges, because that's what I would do. I'll be giving a commencement speech at a community college to losers. Yes, community colleges frequently include commencement speeches in the graduation ceremonies. Try to YouTube one. YouTube community college commencement, who is going out to do? We don't know a bombak goes to Vassar Vassar. Who's doing them at the community college commencement speech?

Who would do, oh my god is this real Fresno? This is amazing. Who is this? This is a guy who's giving a speech at a community college.

“Somebody named Mr. Paul Calvall. What the hell's that? Okay, let's listen. Can we listen to it?”

Did I want it? What is it? Hope core music? I'm very curious, because I just said Fresno as a joke, not even realizing it, but that's kind of interesting that the Fresno community college even sings in a commencement speaker. I would figure they would just bring in a public defender to tell everyone about their rights and about that they didn't have to consent to a legal search and seizure.

If your wife accuses you of hitting her, never say anything before there's a lawyer, but apparently they actually have a commencement speech, which is amazing.

The commencement speech would have been this. I would have gotten up and said, Elon Musk, ready? I'm at the community college commencement speech. I dress just like I am. I'm not dressing up. I'm not dressing up. I tell the kids how to go. I'm not dressing up. This is no longer a world where we dress up. There's nothing to dress up for. Am I right?

“Did you dress? What did you wear a suit when your brother died of fentanyl? Because that's the only thing left to wear a suit for anymore when someone you know is dead.”

Anyway, it's good to be with you here at this commencement speech. I want to thank Fresno community college for inviting me. Elon Musk is worth a trillion dollars. What do you think about that? He's worth a trillion dollars and what have you done? Not in this school and you've listened to teachers talk to you about the future. You've listened to teachers tell you that hard work and dedication to craft and honesty and integrity mattered and maybe it doesn't, maybe it doesn't, but who cares? A billion dollars is not real money. Look at me Fresno community college. A billion dollars is not real money. A hundred million dollars is a joke.

It's a fucking joke to have a hundred million dollars is a fucking joke. Oh, is this him without the three or about to be handed as real? Let's see what he says. Open doors. You cannot see from where you're sitting right now. Yeah, the door to a jail cell. I know some of you are transferring some of you stop it right there. That's pretty good. He goes, I know some of you are transferring, but most of you, this is it. This you went to Fresno community college and now your horrible life starts. And I like did he, did, did, did, did, did he say most of you were some of you go back. Let's run that back.

“And to be honest, I think he says some of the, I don't even think he says most of you. He knows they're not going anywhere. Where are they going?”

Where the fuck are the kids in Fresno community college going? For you are about to be handed as real. It will open doors. You cannot see from where you're sitting right now. I know some of you are transferring some of that was me. That was him. And to be honest, the next part is harder than this part.

It is because it's a real school. You will sit in a classroom. You can't just feel like everyone else knew something you were never told.

Yes, they did. Who their father was? They knew who their father was.

Of course, they know something you weren't told. Who is this guy? By the way, this is like a guy who works at the, this is like the regional manager of Gaiko.

“That they bring in here and God bless him. What does he do for living?”

Oh, stamp for electrical engineering class at 25. Wow.

He started in Fresno community college. There's always one.

And then they bring him back. Let's finish out his little statement there. Because, by the way, they didn't, nobody else going to stamp for it. That's, that's it. And he should tell them that he should go, I went to stamp for it. None of you will. I'll tell you where you're going to end up. You're going to end up in arrest in arrest stop paths whom choking down cock.

Whether you're gay or not. Elon Musk has a trillion, a billion, eight, nothing and a hundred millions of joke. You can't get a how, a house is three million, a smoothies, forty five dollars. And an Uber to go kill yourself is eighty nine dollars to go get an suicide pod.

“So shut the fuck up. I went to Stanford. You're not going to.”

You don't have the money in your bank account to an order and Uber to the one suicide pod.

You're going to borrow that money from a friend to go in and your miserable life. Elon Musk has a trillion dollars. You've got shit. You've got shit. It caught going to a steakhouse now for a meal is cost what you pay for rent. So it's over for you. Your generation's been fucked and you'll continue to be fucked. And many of you will go insane. This is what I would say.

So insane. And the process will be quick. It won't be long. It won't be something that takes place over years. You will snap quickly. You'll be in traffic. You'll get the 15th job rejection and you'll snap. And that's when you're going to want to grab a weapon.

And a lot of people on this commences for you to tell you to not do that. Not me.

“You know choice. We have left you no choice but to grab a weapon.”

Because we have put you back. We're putting you back in the bush. You're going back to nature. You're going back to the jungles again. You will fight for food. You will fight for water. You will trade and you will barter and this is your life now. I'm sorry. If you're going back to the jungles again. If you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again. If you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again.

If you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again. If you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again, if you're going back to the jungles again.

I heard you serious is right. And I know some of you came here from somewhere you do not talk about. Yeah, all of them. Maybe you came from a prison cell. That's right.

Maybe you came here from a house where nobody before you went to college. That's right. Maybe you came here from a version of yourself you're still trying to leave behind. What a depressing speech. I love this fucking guy.

This is worse than mine. The real ones worse than my joke. Pause this for me. The real speech at the community college is actually much more haunting than my joke. I love this.

Let me tell you right now. I've reversed by position. I'm Mr. Paul Callvo. Cavloe, Callvo, Callvo, whatever. And I will say this is the most depressing speech I have ever heard in my life.

Including whatever speech a mascot before October 7 was lighter than this. This is the crazy. Many of you came here from a prison cell or a house where no one went to school. And you're running from a version of yourself. You're trying to get rid of.

Let's see how he finishes this. By the way, I am big time impressed. What a great speech. Keep going. It's the one institution in my life that did not ask me who I used to be.

Right. He can't even talk.

“My electromagnetism professor did not care about my tattoos.”

None of my calculus professors cared about my record.

I'm an MS13. So what? Now I'm at Stanford. Fresno City College. Stop it.

This is what the EI was. It would put somebody from MS13. It's Stanford. All right. Get him out of here.

Did a great job. I do like him. Folks. Folks. I want you to listen up right now.

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Very wise. Friend of the show.

Big fan of Barry as always.

And her mission to destroy or life on earth. Sponsored by the Ellison family. Barry is obviously Scott Pelie left 60 minutes. And it's a real shake. Now Barry, by the way, if you can look this up,

she's in Skonst herself in a fort. Like on the 6th floor, some one of the floors. Barry Weiss is at CBS. And she will not see the staff. Barry Weiss will not go into the staff.

She's in a like a secluded area.

“Like when Dick Cheney was in the an undisclosed location in the P.O.”

So Barry Weiss, the editor in chief of CBS News, has been working out of a secured lock suite on the 6th floor of the CBS Broadcast Center in Manhattan. Her physical isolation from the main newsroom follows a controversial overhaul. And staff in cuts at 60 minutes. So Barry Weiss, who took over CBS News is destroying it.

By the way, she will also soon be running CNN. Because they're going to buy that to the Ellison.

I believe we're buying that.

And then Barry will run that phenomenal. But Barry has now found herself running the newsroom from a, like a secured location. She's being, she's got many, many security guards because Barry has to be protected from her staff.

“Who might say things to her like, what the hell are you doing?”

And why are you destroying everything? So Barry is being kept in a isolation chamber, a sensory deprivation tank, where she is destroying CBS news and soon CNN.

She's been there under a year.

Barry's been there under a year. And she's so far, so far, okay? She's been there for under a year. She is no longer, she's in solitary. They've put her in solitary.

She cannot be in general population because she's causing too many wars with the gangs on the yard. So Barry, in less than a year, has found herself in solitary confinement in CBS. You know you were doing a good job in an institution when you are afraid of your staff. You know you are. The mark of a great boss is to be ushered into a building with security,

and then ushered out again, like the president. That's when you know you're killing it when you're doing a great job when you are afraid to face the people who's lives, you are ruining. So because of this great job that she's doing from her isolation chamber on the sixth floor, they have decided, because and no for no other reason than her performance, for no other reason. Then Barry's performance, she's being elevated to the head of CNN, get that up.

Barry wise will be overseeing editorial at CNN. Now you might say, oh, I'm living in a bad dream. No, no you're not, you're living at the end. Yahoo, here you go, go up a little bit. Barry wise within weeks, I'm sorry, hold on, go up just a little bit, there you go.

“Barry, I'll get the Hill, not Yahoo, what am I talking about?”

Barry, I bet Yahoo, the Hill, Barry wise expected to extend take over to CNN. Once to Warner Brothers, Paramount Deal is final, which they've just finalized. So Barry wise will now be running CNN. Now here's the question, what bunker will they build her at CNN from which to run it? Or will she run CNN from the bunker that they have built from her at CBS?

Here's another thought, do they build an off location, an off site bunker like a nuclear silo? Several stories underground where she will destroy both that works from that. What is the most efficient safest place for her? I don't know, I don't know. CBS has started construction of an off site missile silo where Barry wise will work.

She'll continue to work. Controversial porn star Bonnie blue is now pregnant and announces her baby shower will be a golden shower. This body blue seems to be an unstable woman. Who I mean, this has got to be whatever she's doing has to be illegal. Like whatever is going, and you know me, I'm not a theocrat.

But you know, she's got a baby inside of her, she's drinking, she's telling people she wants to be peed on. I mean, here's a question, folks, and it's an actual question.

Like is this an animal?

“Like I'm genuinely sometimes I see these people that are out there and I go, is this an actual human being?”

Is this like a government thing?

Is this an alien? Is this something? Is this an actual human being? Who's doing this? And by the way, maybe she is, I'm not saying she isn't, but is this an actual person who is doing this?

It's an an interesting question because she should be in jail if she is deliberately harming her unborn child. It's disgusting.

“And we're going to just go back to like, you know, cotton, mother, Protestantism in this country.”

Like, deep, deep, hellfire, brimstone because it's the body blues of the world.

Or the fact that we're calling everyone queer now, like gay and lesbian doesn't even matter. Everybody's queer and everybody has to subscribe to this idea that men and women are affection and these are completely, you know, these gender roles have been completely socially constructed and children can choose their gender. And the gay marriage percentage of people that approve gay marriage is dropping. The percentage of people that approve gay people in general is dropping. It almost seems like it was a bad idea to tell a bunch of people that their 70 year old could choose their gender at school.

Doesn't that seem like not so much of a good idea to these idiots that I talk to who think everything's in overreaction and everything's overblown. Maybe it is an overreaction, but like they're debating some new law in New York where they're going to replace men and women or father and mother with gestating person, like all of this shit is so silly and ridiculous.

And why is this anyone's problem?

Do the words father and mother bother anyone? I've looked like people not having health care bothered them. I didn't think they cared about the word father and mother. It's depressing. This is what I mean about the fights that the Democratic Party needs to avoid if they want to be taken seriously. This idea and I'm over trans people living their lives and I'm over game lesbian people obviously living their lives.

I don't want to be told that I can't get married, but I'll tell you this. If they do reverse it, I'll marry a fat eras tomorrow, like a fat eras and live better than anyone. I'll marry a fat eras of pig and a blanket. I will marry. I'll walk down the aisle with a pork chop in line to the throne. A fatty boom batty of means. So I will, oh, but this is what's got the reason that people are reversing their earlier positions on things like gay marriage is because the gay movement is push,

movement is push so far. The trans movement is push so far that people are getting tired of it. People are just tired of having to reconsider and reevaluate everything in their lives.

“You have to give people a little bit of peace. You have to give them a little bit of peace.”

You cannot keep telling people that they need, you have to respect people's religious beliefs that differ from yours. You have to allow for disagreement. You have to allow for people to not agree with you without feeling like they need to be, you know, tied up and yelled at until they agree with you. You need to allow for these things. And if you don't do that, you're going to create this world that you supposedly don't want. And I see it happening.

And I see the body blue person and I'm not making it about her, but she's like I'm pregnant and want people to pee on me and, you know, it's, I don't know what's going on here. It's the porn industrial complex where it's like, "Do you want to watch a little porn growing up?" And it was like fun and silly. Now people are addicted to it. Their ticks don't work. They're on SSRIs. They're, you know, whatever. They're throwing their lives away. They can't go out with women. You know, and this body blue and people like that are pushing things into a deeply troubling place.

Where like, I don't even understand what motivates this woman. I don't understand what motivates this woman. It's very disturbing to me that I just adopted a kitten.

I was going to bring it on the show today, but it's not ready.

“It's a golden British chinchilla. It's long-haired. It's supporting Rupert Lowe and the restore party in the UK.”

The name of the kitten is Albert. He's turned on Nigel Farage. We feel like his two soft and a grifter and it's now explicitly backing Rupert Lowe and reform. That's what, that's my cat. So he wanted to come on and do a whole thing. He wanted to read a statement about restoring the sovereignty of Britain. Keep Ireland Ireland. He's got a little hat.

Not today. Let's wait. You know, but I don't like this body blue's getting peed on and I mean, peed on, peed on people in private. You know what I mean? Let's finish here with this paradise body pilot of community for women. Turns dark after founder accused of a predatory behavior. Let's end here on a feel good story. This is a bunch of fatty bombaddies here.

It is a community that promises body positivity in the safe space for plus-size women. But it's founder has been accused of predatory behavior.

“Can't faties just join a cult without worrying about some creep?”

Just doing it for some creepy reason? Let's watch a little bit of this. Back in '99, my parents took my brother and I for a five week round trip across the US, including Disney World and Florida. And all of a sudden, in the aquarium section, there was this super-size girl just walking around.

I was obviously way too shy to talk to her, had my parents in toes, so I would never.

But there was a wake-up moment. It was like, okay. By the way, apologize for one second. I'm calling you right now, society with 10 years left. I'm telling you right now, we have 10 years left. This won't, this, whatever this thing is, won't go on for another 10 year. I'm telling you, we have about 10 years left, as I said.

“After this, everything we covered this all episode, this is, I mean, the high school, the college graduations.”

Guys, I became here from jail. Your parents didn't go to school and you're running from a version of yourself that you no longer want to face. That's the positive speech at the college graduation. This guy has a cult of fat women because he's got inspired by some way, I mean, so a Disney world. They're burning buses in Bel-Fast. People are behaving each other.

And even more disturbing than all of that, they're giving Barry Wies! I got the job! So we have about 10 years left, continuum. Very nice on day. One, two, three, paradise!

Like, how do you want to do it? So you can dress off. And I like these bigons because they're big! Look at the people that are at the house right now. It doesn't get any more beautiful than these girls.

Yes, true, true, true, true! This right here is a message of paradise. You're afraid of the judgment.

You feel like I'm fat, I'm gonna die alone, but it's never the truth.

No, you got this guy. But I'm not really here. Five years ago there's no way I would be able to do that. My whole intention with paradise was always just to bring positivity. Well, I don't even want, by the way, I don't even want to learn that there's this one wrong.

I just want to labor under the delusion that this worked out for all these fat women in this crib. This weirdo. This guy. I don't want to learn he was some predator. I want to go to bed tonight believing in this community of fatty bombaddies and their weird feeder fetish father. And I don't even want to learn the next, I don't want the next shooter drop. Much like we have to believe that we won the Iron War to run away like cowards that were accumulated.

We also must believe that these fat women were brought into this man's home and treated appropriately. I don't want to live in a country where this guy gets a bunch of fat women in a house just to be some type of predator. I want this to be wholesome and joyous and fulfilling for everyone involved, including him and the women, and I don't want, I don't want to believe it.

You know, listen, different strokes, different folks, you know.

Is that the thing, different strokes? Is that it? It is, right? Well, folks, we've done it all. Congrats to Elon Musk again for having a trillion dollars. I do.

“I wonder about that. I think is it good for democracy where one guy who owns a social media app and has contracts with a government has a trillion dollars?”

I don't know. Rockets are fun to watch, right? I mean, are we really going to get lost in whether eventually he hasn't hired Barry Weiss yet?

I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you one thing about Elon. I'm not even, I'm not really a huge Elon fan, but I'll tell you the one thing that Elon has not done with a trillion dollars is carved out money for Barry Weiss. Yeah, and we don't know. We hope everything gets better in Northern Ireland.

“I don't have a real, I love obviously my, my grandparent from Ireland, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

But do I have a connection with Ireland? No, like Bill Morris said, if you can get this up, if you can just find this, Bill Morris said once when he landed and I don't know if you'll be able to find it.

When I don't, I forget who he was talking to. He said when he landed in Ireland, he started crying because he felt such a connection to Ireland, which is such a horseshit. It's unbelievable.

But people just say things in the lie all the time. Um, no, no, Bill said it. I know that Morris doubt also said it, but Bill Morris also said, when I was landing in Ireland, I just felt like I just started to cry because I just felt, I felt really connected to it and it's just like, no, you didn't.

“No, you didn't. No, you didn't. That's crazy. Um, we'll find it. It's not a big deal. We don't have to keep looking for it. But it is true.”

And I don't feel that way when I landed in Ireland. All right. All right. Fine. Beautiful gorgeous country, lovely people, good butter, good bread. But you know, I hate to see it burning. I hate to see it burning. So, but I also understand that this policy is not a sustainable policy and all these people can come and yelling, scream about racism and about fear of the other about all of this stuff and there's some of that to be sure. But unless you give people a way to feel like they're democratically controlling their countries, they're going to lash out violently. There is nothing left to really do.

Truly, I mean, take a look at this again here. I mean, this is terrible. This is like people in Bellefeste, going house to house looking for migrants in a victim. We don't want this. We don't want it. This is not a civil society. But what? How does this all work in? How is this global world that we're all creating? Now, here's the gift. New York City works because the economy is dynamic and thriving. She had people from all over the world. They were living together and, you know, because they're living in this dynamic economy where people can earn a living. Now, how is this working in stagnant economies? By the way, countries that have existed for very long time that have unique and specific cultures,

blending this all together is going to be very difficult and it's proving to be very difficult and it doesn't make you a Nazi to point that out economically culturally socially. The word racist is lost all meaning. No one really cares about it. Nobody and it shouldn't, but it has. And one of the reasons it has is because it's just become the thing that everybody uses to discourage any conversation about all this stuff is not a good commercial for migration to have a guy cutting a guy's head off in the middle of the straight.

He's not known if that guy was selling of candy that no one had had before and when he had, he was saying, come and what he was releasing is come try this candy I've made. That would be nice, but he's cutting a man's face off in the middle of the street instead of saying, hey, I've made some candy for everyone. Why don't you try it isn't it tasty. You know, there's ways for this stuff to work, but it's not working right now. It's not working and it's hitting a boiling point and we're hitting the summer and things get bad and the summer things get hot literally and figuratively.

I'm Session and I'm the founder of Yaui, a singer who is on the Kunstwerke and has a specialised object. My role is on Shopify, because Shopify is in the same way as the other platforms I tested with are in the front.

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Now your kosten is on Shopify.com.

We're now back to the Spitzyspiel between one name and one. It's a live-fall. We're in perfect shape and we're going to take the most of the best of the lives of the Caucasus. And now we're coming to our home. Good morning to bonus bonus and that's where I'm going to be at the station. Bye!

Wow! Let's get out of here. We're going to win this game, but we're going to win our best.

Conto, the chef, gronto and the name is Gründung, Puchalting. I'm Session and I'm the founder of Yaui, a singer who has a specialised object on Kunstwerke and has a specialised object.

My role is on Shopify, because Shopify is able to test the other platforms I tested with are in the front.

I've already thought about everything about the future. All tools for the development of Caucasus are important, for example, from Lager, are found directly in the dashboard. Now your kosten is on Shopify.com.

“If you want to know about Shopify, then you're going to find the platform that's actually on your own.”

It's just the main thing. Our whole story is about Shopify. Now you're going to have a kosten test on Shopify.com. I'm Session and I'm the founder of Yaui, a singer who has a specialised object on Kunstwerke and has a specialised object. My role is on Shopify, because Shopify is able to test the other platforms I tested with are in the front.

“I've already thought about everything about the future. All tools for the development of Caucasus are important”

and for example from Lager, are found directly on the dashboard. Now your kosten is on shopping.com.