#655 - Sal Vulcano

audience.

“It's the only time I've ever done that and it may be the only time I've ever do.”

I don't know but that will be with the champ Iron Mike Tyson on May 5th in Los Angeles at the Will Turn Theater as part of the Netflix is a joke fest and after that it will be on our channel. So you can see it there. You can get tickets at theovon.com/TOUR. Today's guest is a stand up comedian. He's a host. He's a podcaster. He's just

a, he's a universal smile maker. You know him from his hit show in practical jokers and

he's on tour doing a stand up right now. Always have a blast with the one and only Mr.

Sal Volcano. We start filming season 13 on Thursday. It's another thing. Wow. It's been on the air for 15 years. Have you ever met like a child that was conceived during the show? Like has that ever been a thing? People, I know people met and got married and I know people tell me they fucked to it all the time. Oh my god. Really? I didn't think of that until one day I was on the,

I was standing outside at my getting a tire, a flat tire fix on staying on a sidewalk and a guy pulled up at a light and you rolled on the window and he's like, "Sah, I love you, man." I was like, "Thanks, man." He goes, "I was having sex with my girlfriend last night

while the show was on." I was like, "Oh, shit. I never really thought about that."

So I went on to Instagram and I posted like, "Has anyone ever had sex while my show was on?" It was like hundreds of thousands of people. You don't even think of it, you know. One time somebody sent me a porn of people, a fucking, and the our show was on the TV in the background. Why? Not like a professional one. Oh, just amateur? Yeah. Oh shit. Maybe one day you'll make the big ones. Yeah, and hopefully we get show up on a browser, you know,

maybe one day, bro. Oh my god dude. And why do you think it is that y'all show is one of those shows that's like, all right, you know, let's make a child of this or let's get a little home. You know, let's do the home date. It's like background, you know. Like you put it on any time.

You don't feel like follow anything. You just turn it on and it's good like playing in the background.

It played all day long. So just, it's like one of those things like when I get to it, I'll tell my turn. So I'm on and just like, please in the background. So I think people are just, people are going to go about their business while you think you think it's it? I feel like so. I mean, I don't think it's intoxicating or anything. I don't think it's like oysters. Yeah. Visual oysters. No, I do think there's something about y'all show that it's like,

it's the one thing like spouses could probably kind of agree on it. You know, we get that. There's not a lot, you know, and you could have your kids are in there. You know, everybody could kind of agree on like, all right, well, all kind of watches. There's few shows like that now. Yeah. No, you, yeah. There's like a vent diagram where the kids and the parents both like it.

“Yeah. And they, that's what we hear a lot too, which is like it's a show that everybody,”

like, oh, watch that. You know what I mean? I got something. There's a new little house on the prairie coming out. I think you and I have spoken about the little house on the prairie before. Did we? Yeah. Did we did? What Michael Lannick? You were a big fan, right? Oh, yeah. I would have been. Oh, you're a Michael Lannick fan or prairie fan. The highway to have an elite and it needs to be repaved to brother. I'll say that. I mean, they got you know,

say what was it was he was he was an angel that was like impurgatory and his guy's friend with the beard was another angel. Oh, that was it. His friend was like an Oakland A's fan. So yeah, but we see an angel to the friend of what's he a civilian? No, his friend was a civilian. And he could see Michael Lannick. Yep. And everybody could see him. But he came back and then he realized that Michael Lannick is an angel. Bring it up. Highway to heaven. What was the story line on that?

I haven't thought of that since the last time you and I spoke about it. And the time before that was when I watched it. It's. I thought about it. But I can't believe that you

“remember that we had talked about it because I haven't talked about it with someone since then.”

Yeah, that's why I remember it. I'm like, I just remembered you won't make me laugh about it. Highway to heaven. Uh, follows Jonathan Smith, Michael Lannick, a probationary angel. You're right. And Mark Gordon and next cop as a travel America helping people in need on behalf of the boss. God, the series focuses on providing divine intervention. Love and emotional support. 10 visuals, individuals facing hardship. Yeah, that's a pitch. That's a funny pitch.

It's like, okay, hear me out. An angel in an ex cop. Yeah. That's really good. I'm like, I'm sold.

highway to heaven. I think they put a dang toll. They put a toll booth on it now. It's like,

yeah, you can't even. I, they couldn't remake something like this today. You don't know. Maybe,

“I think now, actually, when they probably can or make no, I'm thinking about it. I mean, I think”

you need a good Christian drama. I think you need something that's leading. I mean, it'd be nice. I think if there were more influences towards faith, probably. But even even having a little house in the prairie back, it's going to be a vibe dude. Oh, wait. So they're bringing back how it, having a little house on the prairie, little house in the prairie. Because what was that highway to heaven right there? Just now on the right, was that? Oh, oh, they tried to bring a bag

bro. I didn't even know no one knew nobody knew. And they brought it back. It looks like with an African American actress, who was her Barry Watson. Oh, Jill Scott. Jill Scott. Grammy Award winner, Jill Scott and Barry Watson. Wow, that came and went. Oh, was that coming out now? I'll give it a whirl. It's 2021. Oh, all right. Well, you can't. I mean, there's COVID times. Yeah, people and they were probably shipping people to have a drink of it. It was a Pfizer

four lane going on, bro. Fauci work in the toll booth. She's getting the last dime out of it. Just to hit the turn bike with that. I don't know. He got was he working towards salvation. Michael Landon and then I would have like was he saving people to to get in God's good graces like why was he but he's probationary. Yeah. I would like to know how that series ended. Yeah, what was the last I've gone to have? And if he didn't, I mean, it would have been a huge

let down. No, no, I mean, imagine he just didn't. I didn't just love to open like he didn't. They don't even tell us. Yeah, let's go to the ending of it. The series how it haven't did not have a plan definitive series finale as it was canceled due to low rating. Oh, shit.

Wow. So they didn't. That's always a bummer when you invest in a show. And yeah, and then just

stops, you know, like, that's that's that's hard. Oh, when the whole nation invests in a show,

“too, and it ends like a lost lost killed lost probably. I think there's people that”

died because loss wasn't it didn't do anything. Yeah, there had to be some type of out of their effect was that it was like, it was their hope. I'm going to keep watching this and it's going to get some. I was mean. That was me. I was lost. And at one point, I thought loss was the greatest show I had ever seen in my life. And then the last two or three seasons, it was like, maddening. Yeah. That broke a lot of people. It's too convoluted. Oh,

people with divorce is that that broke people. You don't want to say, if you invest that much with somebody in a something and if that thing falls apart, you might, you can fall apart. You can fall. You can unravel. Your whole life can unravel. Yeah. Doesn't take much mistakes. Yeah. It does. Everyone's right there. All it takes is like just the the creators of losses string us along telling us the whole time they have exact intentions

when the fucking don't and it comes out later. I don't know if anyone's ever taken them to task for that. I'll tell you another thing. I saw the finale. I couldn't tell you what I can't explain to you right now. Yeah. Yeah. You can't even explain the ending. You did all that and you can explain the ending to us. I've actually and Lily. God bless her, really. She's doing fine. I'm sure. Yeah. She's like, uh, and she's like in the end, man. All right. She's like Ant woman. Oh, she is. I think so.

“I didn't know. Yeah. That's what was so good. The flashbacks, the flashbacks, the flashbacks.”

Flash forwards, flash sideways. They started flashing sideways. I'm like, what is that?

I've never seen a flash sideways before. Yeah. Yeah. How do you flash sideways? They did it.

I like the flash sideways today. I like the flash always today. Yeah. You're doing, uh, you said you're in town. Um, you hit in the dock. You're on the on you on them. You're hitting the medical circuit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hitting the medical circuit. My doctor lives out here. My boy from high school. Really? He's my primary. So hit your friend from high school. Yes. My boy from I've known him since 2013. Wow. Yeah. So shout out James Losh. Uh, James Losh.

James Losh. So I don't know if I want to go to my friend and let him. But I guess if you're boy, you can trust him with anything. Yeah. That's where it started out of like I can show him your body and whatever. No. I haven't shown to my body. And that would be where I probably that's I understand what you're saying there. Right there is where I thought I would have to do it this week. Showing my body because these, like we had a list of things to do. I got like what's called a Dexis scan, a CT

and Geogram. I got a blood draw for a full panel plus a cancer screening. I got an MRI today. I'm doing everything. And then I said in there, uh, what is that? It said in there, uh, that's Emma. That's me. I can't do full development of talks and he did his own. Every time you hear we bring out pictures of guys. I cannot even believe it. You and it's you and I know, um, I, uh, it said physical. So I was gonna, I won't point out. I was like, you don't have to like, you don't have to hold my

sack or anything. Do you? Yeah. But then I just let it go and then he didn't say anything and then there was, it was fine. But do you think you're missing out on something that's important information or something? Just because you guys are like kind of shy or whatever. I was, I was wondering if

movie or something like that. Maybe I'm, I mean, I wouldn't bet it probably went too long ago.

But I've gotten all the blood panels. I get them done all the time. Yeah. Yeah. So I just don't know if that's antiquated, like, then like holding you and saying cough or drop it. I don't, I don't really hear people talk about that. Yeah. Hold 'em in. Yeah. Call your stepfather a queer or whatever. Exactly. That's not it. Yeah. That's not it. I mean, it's not a medical turn to take liberties. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what they're looking

for, but if he didn't touch my balls, then I guess like he's not going to find anything there. Yeah. So like, I guess that was an oversight. But I guess what are they checking for when they hold your balls like a hernia? Well, I mean, look, I think it on the side. I don't lift anything on it. Yeah. Yeah. I got a bad back. Doctors says I can't even lift my balls. Oh. Let's check it right now. Yes, it is standard medical procedure for a doctor to hold the

scroll down whilst asking you to call if you're in check for it. And I get that, but that's just seems hella. It's him with the Catholic churches involved in it a little bit. So

“little back splash of uncertainty. But what? How do we self check our own balls? That's what”

I would look up. Yeah. Maybe a self exam I could do. Because it's probably time, man, that we know how to do this. Just because there's a lot of times I'm sitting in a lobby, I'm chilling, you know? Yeah. And then you don't know what's going on down there. Well, it's like, I might as well check it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We could check all the time. Yeah. If we know what we're doing, we're checking when out knowing usually. Yeah. Use it. I'm feeling around my balls.

Yeah. What is that? Don't touch that. There's like that part there. It's like, yeah. This is the thing attached to the ball. It's like, we're, yeah, yeah. Like, that's the H back area. It's all white. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not certified. Like, you know, in a bag, I don't really know anything in a bag. This definitely do. Yeah, there's moments where you're like, oh, what is that? That's what gets scary, bro. Yeah. Like, all that just feels like in the like, it's like,

it feels like us. Oh, that's just a skiddle. I still don't go. I still don't go. I feel like I have a like a rainbow and like I might have a skiddle in there. I was like, I would just be like, I would sooner Google it. There's something I just, I'm not really, he would have had to probably take his balls out for me to feel comfortable. Oh, and I mean, fair. Yeah. Dude, that should be something you guys do for the show for like one of the things. Yeah. We'll do that. Get him into that.

We'll do the center. You know, yeah. I got my doctor in there and show his balls on our show. Make sure. Well, we're just, you know, now with the doctors guy, you know, get him to, you know, I need you to hold your ball while you hold my balls. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And we sing a little bit of Bruno Mars, you know? Yeah. Oh, Bruno's good. I did it. He had a story about Bruno. I remember he went to his show. Yeah. Yeah. He was he was dope. He was like, uh, it was a bit

back, but he was like bartender for us backstage. And then during his finale, he was like, yellin' out quotes from my show. Like in the middle of like, uh, you make me feel like I'm like that of hell. And he just thought, and then there's pyrotechnics. And then he just started screaming out lines from the show and I was like, I can't believe this. I actually missed it. I was like, what

“people? And, and like, I didn't hear him say it. And they were freaking out. I think if I told this”

last time, but I was like, I remember like, I was like four or five people. I was at my girl and, and the guys, and they went nuts. And I thought they were just going nuts for the song. And I was like, wow, they're really big fans. Like that's like, like they were like overhyped, you know? Obviously, they just heard him quoting us. So they were reacting like that. And I was like, this song's good, but I like they're really into it. And they're like a few minutes later, they're like, I can't

believe he, he sees him down here. You was getting something. No, I was right there with him, but I didn't hear like it was pyrworks going off. And I didn't hear it. And then I was like, and then they were like, I can't believe he was quoted you. I'm going to quoted me. And you didn't even know you were right there. Is this real? That's real. You could pull off. It looks like a, all right.

That's real. You could pull off a hat like that. There's Bruno Mars. I could never pull off that

like that. Never. Joe and South came down in the show in Albany tonight. Albany. Oh, it's Albany. Albany. Albany. So, and if you ain't seen the show in particular, Juggie, you're missing out. A parent, a parent. Apparently. Apparently, Murr was there. Yeah, Murr got to a late and after it was over. He got stuck in traffic. And he like drove eight hours and missed it. I swear to God.

“He drove, I'm not, I don't see, honestly, I think he drove like 13 hours. I don't know why.”

I figured the circumstances are rounding it, but he got there late and just missed the whole thing. Damn. Yeah. God. Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. I wouldn't be able to do it good. So we don't forget this good. I do think it's important. What can we do to

check out our knots to make sure that we're okay? What do we do, actually? This first,

I'm going to check while we're here. I can't see it, but I'll tell me, maybe give me a play by play. All right. Like, what do you feel, what do you feel on for right now? What do you, what is it? I don't know. I think I feel like I'm in like the cottage cheese section.

Well, well, ultimately, though, what are you, what are you looking for? Are you looking for a

“hernia? Are you looking for a skiddle? Like, what are you looking for cancer? Oh, that's what we're doing.”

That's a cancer. What do you want cancer screening? Yeah, I'm not going to waste my time to have a screen for everything. If you're feeling around, just do a full thing, screen for everything. Did I can do a full panel or whatever? You can do it. Can you tell the difference between a hernia and cancer? I know. I will say, like, it is weird with both hands on your balls while I'm talking to you. Normally, it would be when we first met. Well, if you would

give me a second, I'm trying to see if I have cancer. What is this animation, though? What is wise in a sack? I don't know, but that's Dick's R. I think. Oh, that she took, but thank you for supporting me. No, it's good, man. Take me, just getting on the wording again one more time. Go back. Perform a testicular, self-exammentally. Oh, God, I am, I am 400 months behind schedule. Yeah. Ideally, during or after a warm shower, when a scrotum is relaxed. Yeah, you know, if you got that hard

bag, bro, you can't do it in like the winter. Yeah, if you feel like it's like kind of like all, it feels like a bit of like a really ripe avocado. You got to back off the sand. Yeah, that's right. Using both hands, gently roll each chesticle between your thumb and finger to check for hard lumps, smooth bumps. That's a unique term. That's got to be an oxymoron smooth bumps. How can

“you find that? That's crazy. Yeah, what's a smooth bump? Isn't it by definition a bump not smooth?”

Hard lumps, smooth bumps, the oven's going. My journey to chemotherapy or changes in size, shape, or consistency. What do they mean changes in size? Like it's like a, I guess if one's gotten

really like one sounds like it like it's throats clogged or whatever. Oh, there's always one bigger than

the other. Isn't there? Is that breasts? Isn't that true? Balls and breasts? There's always one that's bigger. Yeah, I think that's true. I'm going to read this one part off and then we'll get to that hard pea size lumps or nodules. A new dull ache or feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen or groin. So that I think is more for honey and then significant swelling or a sudden change in size. So I guess the good thing is if you do it repeatedly, you'll start to, that's the thing. You

probably have to do it repeatedly so you get an idea. You've got to, yes, you have a base on it because otherwise, if you just wander in any and nuts with your hands or whatever, right, everything in there, you don't know what's in the middle. Yeah. No, neither testicle nor breasts are always perfectly symmetrical. One side is typically slightly larger, positioned differently in most people. And the testicles usually hang at different levels. That gives them also the illusion of

seemingly like their different size. If you funny, if we didn't have a sack and they just hung, like in that, like how that hand was holding the two individual tests. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be weird. That'd be very weird. Like hung like on a string, like on strings, like just like a bangers. Like those, those bangers. Yeah, when we were little like, it was like two balls on strings. And you were like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And they were like, they're called Cabangers.

Bring them up, then Cabangers, bro. Yeah, get those Cabangers up there.

“You don't remember those? I never seen those in my life. What, bro? They still sell them now.”

But yeah, promise you. We're, man, dude, I'm so, I'm so sorry because like I had some really nice times with those with them come back. Yes. Like when you get, when you, when you know what you're doing, you can see a video of somebody doing it. When you know what you're doing, it's a, it's a, it's a real treat. Oh, he has a video. Oh, come on, so far. Smitties. He's has them dirty original

Cabangers. And they're guaranteed safe for play and the breakables that they'll never chip

feel or shatter. Get the original Cabangers at Smitties and get set for some fast action. Oh, you're not good. Fricking to that. You're not getting neighbors nuts on it. Yeah, they were like, little like, uh, nunchucks. Oh, I did used to wish that like you're not telling like a, they were like secret hearing device, whatever. Like you could throw roll one somewhere in a room, and it would be able to hear what was going on. That's really good. Like a recon not or whatever.

Yeah, like a James Bond nut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. The, the sack is a good place to hide something. Oh, yeah. You know, if you can get like some type of surgery, where you get like a, it's almost like a, you remember what can, you remember what they call ruse kangaroos, the sneaker ruse. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. So the thing about kangaroos or ruse and the thing about, is every single sneaker had a, like, a hidden pocket on it. Oh, that's right. And that's hard.

There's a side. And they should bring those back. You know, but that'd be like,

Yeah. Why bet you could get that modulated bro. If you got your nuts modulated bro,

you could do that in a fucking heartbeat. Well, yeah, get you a little side, get you a little pouch, almost or get like almost like a little fanny pack. You don't want it. Yeah. They should make a little fanny pack. That goes around. Yeah. That's not a bad idea if we could find a safe medical

“way to do it because you have to throw in like a pair of sweats and there's no pockets that you”

leave the house and you got no pockets. Oh, when you have no pockets, I feel like I might have to go back. Like I will not buy pants without a proper pocket or like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, of course, I know what you mean. Yeah. And then, and then, and then, and then, but if you had a sack that helped stuff like a pouch, you feel like, oh, you wouldn't have to think about it. Yeah. You could throw on any pants you want. You could flip it and leave throw on pants before you

leave the house and not even think twice about it. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. If you're like, oh, I just, yeah, I got enough room for just a couple of sins. Well, you could put like your license in there, a key of the file. I think putting your license in your nuts is crazy work, bro. Yeah, you're right. But the whole concept is so you could have gave me. It's just, you know, we're just trying, I mean, I don't think we'll put anything in there really, but we're here to think,

if I don't have to put a zinn in it, two zins, I think you could put a lot there. Yeah, I would, I would be careful putting two zins in there. That's the tobacco. Yeah. But you were took it to another level. Now you're going to get bulk hands on you. All I'm doing is trying to have identification on me. Yeah, you're right. You're right, man. I'm really going to kind of like my separate way, but also I didn't ever got that enhanced license for travel. So now just in case,

I always got to bring my passport with me to the airport. I'm always afraid I'm going to forget

it at home. And then it's going to be lights out because I can't get on a thing. So I would put

“my maybe my pad. You have to fold it up. It might be uncomfortable, but I would maybe permanently”

carry my passport and my sack. But you can't do it. Think about this. So I'm here and I love what you're saying, but you're right. To fold your fucking past. It was stupid. Yeah, I know it's too much. I couldn't do it. It's not, it's not built to be folded, but here's what I do think is, yeah, if you had your nuts or whatever, yeah, if you could put two, I'm trying to give you a couple of things and you nuts or whatever, a couple of owls in there. Do you do anything? I don't

do it. But I think it would be crazy if they're like, yeah, we think you have like gum cancer and you're not like you'll get like two thing gum. Yeah. Yeah. Like somehow you got mouth, you got ginger vinas of the balls. Somehow you got mouth cancer. Yeah, because I've been fucking zinning through my magical nut pouch. But do the no to nuts are the same. You know that no to nuts actually. There are snowflakes. Yeah. Pretty cool. You know what time it is. You know

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at take ultra.com. That's take ultra.com for 15% off with code theo after your purchase. They will ask how you heard about them help support our show and tell them we sent you. Change it up for yourself. No more nicotine. No more caffeine. Ultra. You dance? No, do but I will tell you this. My friend and I may be almost probably maybe 30 months ago or whatever. We went to the park and we saw and we watched the

people do this out, do this all the dancing. It's all the, that's 30 months ago you went to the

park and watched the people saw something and we watched it first we were like whatever bro let's

don't look too long because it's just me and him and we're not with anybody or whatever. But it was just, you mean like it was like a competition or like a dance party or something? Yeah, it's just a dance party they had over there by the lake it's over there by Centennial Park and Nashville. You can probably even look it up. And so there yeah it's just like a lot of latinos and a couple of like Indian guys trying to pretend they were Mexican or whatever like putting on

like yeah but they did they have their own really good dance routines too. You ever see them and they go they go hard. Yeah. Like those like those like like those routines where everyone's doing the same thing they say choreographed. It's like she's all that. I feel like the like the

Indian weddings I've seen in passing on like YouTube or like Instagram and you see them dance

“and like they all like know the exact that's so cool. That's why that is cool for like a dance”

to bust out and everyone does it together. Yeah, you know. That's a good yeah man it's yeah yeah I went out dancing last night. You went out dancing last night. I felt like my mom in the 80s. You're lying. I swear do you? I went out dancing. Do you feel like you're mine? You were broke? You were broke? No but I I do love a brooch. Me too. I got my wife a brooch recently. You did? That's where to go. Yeah. That's all. I love it. So broaches they're just wonderful. I think they're like

they did not I don't know if they're really in style anymore but they're timeless. Broaches. Yeah. Yep. I think when you see someone that broach you think well sometimes you think like there's so many pasts when there's like a little image of a minute. Right? Sometimes like a lot. Something like that. Yeah. But sometimes it's just decorative. Yes. Yeah. You think this is almost like it feels like a little bit of royalty like neighborhood royalty. I like it. Yeah. It does feel like something like a

“little bit of like a like a like a badge. Yes. Yeah. Right. That's what it is. Yeah. They got some great”

broaches. There's a place here called the Five Spot is a bar and on Mondays they have Motown Mondays. That's all I need to hear. Yeah. I love it. It was like a soul music, Motown music. And we went last night. It was when my friends birthday. So we went and I was like I don't go out because you know at home I'm just working in the kids and stuff. So I was like let's go let's go to I dance for like a couple hours last night. No. I don't remember the last time I did that. Probably

I got a wedding or something but I was like in the wild dancing. No way. Yeah. Dude that's so fun and everybody was just dancing and fun. Everybody. Yeah. The place wasn't that crowd and every last person there was dancing. Get down on it. They placed stuff like that. Tell my cool to the gang. Yeah. Come on babe. I love it. Yeah. You get that. That song comes on by cool in the gang. I have to dance. Yeah. I don't know about you. So you don't dance. You know what?

“Here's your thing. I just forget about it. You know I think if I had to dance like someone like”

I wouldn't mind having a date and we go to the square dancing. There is a two say night place here that does square dance. I don't think it's the American Legion or something. Where they teach at a square dance. My friend Chris just went last week. And I'm lying dancing like that. Yes. So I would like to learn that. Yeah. And then that's a nice entry point. Yeah. And just a couple of two steps. Get you feeling like you you're part of the group. Yes. To get me out on the dance

for I used to love to dance. Now as soon as I think I feel a little bit like sometimes I have some social anxiety about that. Sure. It's hard to dance now. If people are like yeah you can't just let loose. Yeah. Honestly I'm afraid. Yes. Somebody will video me and probably make funny me, which is fair. I'm okay. I have to make funny. Yeah. Okay. But just doing it like like there's some part of it I don't like. And I think it's just that uh I don't know I hear something.

I don't want to see a video of how bad I'm dancing because I want to still believe in my head that I'm a good dancer. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. That's what it is. Yeah. But so don't take

to watch you sincerely dance. Okay. You know? Okay. You know I would just love to see you like

genuinely dancing. Okay. I see what that looks like. Okay. You know what your rhythm is. What your moves

“are. Yeah. How you get down. I think a lot of like that when the blues are come on bro I get”

out there and dance to the blues. Yeah. They say have a place called Tabby's Bluesbox over there and downtown Baton Rouge. Bruh and I get out there bro and they had a little bit of sliced ham or something over there on the side. They put out a little like a little like oh you can eat like type of thing or something. It was like it wasn't all you could eat but it was like you can eat a little. You know what I'm saying? But they had that like I had that food. People would dance to the

blues and they didn't. Yeah. They had it dude sitting by it so you know you couldn't have that much. Also it was like he served it. He like you like like when you get up at a wedding at a buffet

like an ace slice of for you like that. Oh yeah like that. No. No. The ham steak? No. This

would just kind of regular ham. Like jelly ham? No. It was like a few stairs up from jelly ham. So somewhere between jelly ham and the ham steak. Yeah. Like neighborhood ham or whatever. Or like ham that had been kind of trucked in and it had been flown in. Okay.

“But it had come on a truck. But how do they prepare it? Like with some like a glaze?”

Not like you just cooked it. I think they cooked it. Just cooked ham. Yeah. And then the blues yeah. Well the blues. And they had some crackers out there. They just had a little set up. But they had to do you could tell you couldn't have a lot of books that are dude sitting by. Like they had like we're going to pay this dude to sit by it. Yeah. Because that's unfortunate what happened to society. You just have unchecked ham. Oh.

It's going to be like a black Friday situation. Yeah. And now you're just going to give the toe pegs a treat to Joe's people just become animals. Yeah. And you can't ham. People already said listen to the blues. You can't just put out hand. They're going to run for that. It's a comfort food. Oh, pro. Yeah. It was one one song was so sad. I don't know how to mouthful of fucking hammer. It turned to crying your mouth full. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I remember being a kid.

Like crying chew. Yeah. You couldn't yeah. You can't cry and chew. You can't cry and eat it.

“It's awesome. It was a fabulous dilemma. You really can't though. That's why you can't be sad and”

chubby dude because that's the dilemma that God sets you in like you're going to be able to have as much little ham as you want. But you ain't going to be able to be sad about it. Yeah. That's why they saw people eat the stop crying. Oh dude. Yeah. That should be written on a American

flag. I think about something like what a huge hogey hysterically crying and eating it. I've never

seen it. It's a it's a it's a visual. I've never seen people can't cry and eat it the same time. Yeah. All right. It's like sneezing and all or it's like. Yeah. Right. Whatever it's called sneezing and like wishing for something. Yes. And I thought it was something with sneezing. It's like rubbing your belly. I like chewing gum. Yeah. And a pan you had flirting with your neighbor's wife for something. Yeah. You can't do it all. Yeah. It's like yeah. Paying your head rubbing your belly

and checking your balls for cancer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you bro. Oh. Thank you bro. Oh. Thank you for making me laugh today. I appreciate it. Of course. I appreciate it. I want to ask you. So you because your podcasting has changed recently and I wanted to talk about this. I wanted to know why? Because you had two podcasts. You had one that you got you were doing with Chris to Stefano. Yes. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. And then you had your own. I have one with Joe Dorosa called taste buds.

And yeah. One Joe Dorosa called taste buds. Yeah. And Joe moved to Austin. Yes. He did. So that kind of brought that one to an end. Yeah. Chris moved up like state or whatever. But oh he's living up state. Yeah. But I've took. I'm telling you because when we put these on hiatus, we said to the fans like they're just going on hiatus. It's been a couple of years now. But people think we like we lied. We had no intentions to interact. We have full intentions of bringing both back. No joke. Like I talked to

both of them, both of them recently. Chris texted me two days ago and said, you want to do like a short one of them just to put it back out there. And I'm like, yeah. And I talked to Joe. He said the same. So we really are going to bring it back up. I got a new talk show like pod coming out called Manush, which is like sure from Manusha. And it's like big guest small talk. But it's like it's absurd. It's like it goes in and out of conversation and sketch comedy. It's like something just

completely different. Yeah. Like it's it's awful. It's really fun. I shot like 10 episodes. So we already did. Yeah. I shot 10. I'm going to do them by season. It's like 10 episodes seasons. So I'm going to release it like probably sometime in May. And then kick it off. It's been so much fun. You got it. I talked to you about it. You got to come in. Yeah. I'm going to come through, you know, I'm going to come and do one. Please. I love to have it. We will have a lot of love to be on here.

It's really different. Like it's not this, you know. We had that's one curious about. So like yeah, because you're saying like it also involves improv. So what like how does that kind of look or a little bit or like where like it's like nothing to is that we do and say is to be taken seriously.

but it's edited really fun. It's like edited like little chunks and it's like to look like it's

on a old VHS tape. It's like it's really, I don't know. It's just something I just made up like a couple of years ago when we went on hiatus on like I want to do something completely like solo that has like a really specific sensibility to it. So it doesn't, I mean this isn't a great picture doesn't sound funny. But yeah, it's really, it hasn't really. It's unique. I'm super excited about what did you do a lot? I mean those are your wheelhouses, you know, comedy and improv. And so

do have some of that together. It definitely makes sense. How was I mean it sounds cool. If you if you've talked about this enough, no problem. But like how was your experience filming the

“movie and stuff did you guys improvise a lot on that? I think I didn't know exactly what was going”

or what you were on us with you. Yeah. Well until the day we've showed up there, I was happy nerve wracking, right? Like I thought it was all emails so the day we showed up once said I was like no way. Everybody was being real serious about this. And it was a real movie. There's like people walking around, there's like one guy just looking for something. Yeah. You know, there's like some guys like dressing somebody up like in a, you know, um, outfitter, whatever you know, it's like we

need. You had the full trailer, like all that shit. Oh everything is like electrical lines. It's like don't, you know, and people you like you, you funded it too. Like you guys made it. You're talking and funded it and everything. So isn't that like how like nerve wracking was that to like be like all right, whether we're going to, this is going to do well, going to invest some back, but even

the fact that you've never done that before and then to walk in on a production that like that

size and then be at the like the person running it basically. That's a good question, dude. I think

“honestly like I kind of struggled with like that, you know, I want to be in like, you know, I'm”

very particular about what I put out in a way. Like I just, I wanted to try and be true to myself, however. Right. And it wasn't like bad or anything. It was just different, right? And I, and going back, I wish, in some place, I wish I would have spoke up more and in some places I wish I would have spoke up less. It's going to be a learning experience. We made the one movie and it was a learning experience for me. Like I didn't like a lot. There's a lot of things I would change, yeah,

to it. But there are a lot of people go see your movie. Yeah. Yeah, it was out when COVID hit. We were in theaters when the world shut down. So we were expanding because like we were doing, we had a great

per theater average. So it didn't give us a wide wide roll out, but we were, we were the highest

per theater average. So it kept expanding week over week. So we were heading into our fifth week, they were going to give us like a few more weeks and then it shut down. Yeah. It's kind of good enough. But yeah, I don't have a ton of ego in it. I think it was awesome. I learned so much about what you have nerves like every day or did they that go away? No, I just, because I would just be like, did I have nerves like what? For sure. Some things I did. Some

things I just got to be David's, I'm like the ball. I'm like, say if somebody's bouncing a ball off a wall, I'm kind of the wall, right? Sure. Sure. And then it kind of over time it changed a little bit when I'm like, sometimes I'm catching the ball and throw it back. Yeah. So I think it was just moments of confidence when my confidence would have feel okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And learning as I went, but I mean, I take an act class over the years. I've been done a lot of practice scenes and

shit, but in the end, you just want to have fun with your buddy and you want to come up with what's funny. So we'd be sitting there and probably having a lot like throwing ideas and just be like, we'll try this one and then sometimes you want to hold your idea because you don't want to tell him because you want to say it in real time. So it's actually funny. Yeah. Yeah. But a lot of that. Yeah. But looking back, I think there's so many just little moments like just

seeing like spade like just trying to stay warm because we had a day like we were supposed to shoot during the, during the fires. The shit fucking, you know, do, yeah. Whoever it was, somebody that Spencer Pratt hates trying to burn down the power saved you know. And while all that shit was happening, you know, our movie was supposed to shoot. But once you've already paid and got shit locked in, you're kind of locked in. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And so we, like one day there was like 60

mile per hour wins and we didn't need wind in the movie or whatever. Right. Right. Right. Right. You have to, it has to be in it. We can't afford to redo. Right. Right. Right. You know, it's like yeah, this thing. It's 60 miles away. It's 60 miles away. It's seen of you guys like in the park and it's a tornado for no reason. Like you do, you do may make mention of it in the movie or it's just like whipping winds. Oh, there's just whipping winds. This is one day at this gas station

the guy, uh, Stevie Janewski, Steve Little, he's from, uh, He's been in down. Oh, God, dude. He is the funniest guy. Yes. I mean, that character, the, the, the outtakes from He's been in down are the,

“I think the greatest thing ever, ever on recording. Yeah. You worked with him? How is he in real life?”

Oh, dude. I mean, it's literally like the nicest guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's so funny. It's all, like for somebody that has such an effect like being funny, it's almost like he doesn't want to have too much of an effect in any other way. Not an, he just, he's a gentle guy. That's what I mean. Okay. He's a gentle guy. He doesn't, he's not trying to stir the pottery thing. Yeah. But you fucking put him right there in the middle of a porridge and cut those lights on and dang. It's, it's,

things like that, I think, and looking back and like, um, so the, the fire is delayed you?

No, we just had to, like, move a little bit over this hill, you know, and we're like, we'll probably be safe over this hill or whatever. And I'm like, that sounds, oh, it was like, Dorian? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, oh, yeah. I was during them. Oh, my God, dude. No, when you're like, it's, like, it was spreading. Oh, yeah. The cross town, like, yeah, there'd be times you'd be going across. Yeah. And you'd see just, oh, my God, you see a bird

fly by it. He was on fire. What have you been doing? It's like, stop, bro. He's like, I got to get somewhere. And I was like, my wife passed or whatever. You're like, all right, just do it. Oh, man. But yeah, I didn't even think to say that, yeah, the fires were going on. So there'd be days you're driving home and shit's just, oh, fire everywhere. That's messed up. It was crazy. We had to, um, I, I, I executive produced this show that that started that came out this

week. Actually, it's called a foul play. Anthony Davis AD and be a player. Oh, yeah, he played it for

“the Pelicans. He played. He didn't want. He's in the, I, I think he's on Dallas now. I got”

trader from the Lakers on a. Yeah, I think so. But, um, so he has his show. It's like, it's like a punk, don't want to sign. Uh, sorry, Leslie. We had to pull up. We had to pull, um, a bit from the

first episode, 16 episodes. It's just, uh, and it rated, it just aired. It rated like the highest

new series on, um, TBS in like years. But so, we had this thing where Floyd May weather was the guest. And he was helping us do this like prank on this person. So this, this family lost their house in a fire. This was before the fires. Okay. Family, like, the setup was that this family lost their house in a fire and Floyd May weather held this charity barbecue for them to get like, uh, like, with the community to get like their belongings backs. So people brought them, like,

gifts and stuff. So they got all their, um, like their housewares and front things back. And like people are donating this stuff at the barbecue at the charity barbecue. And then they, all their stuff catches fire from the barbecue and burns again. So like they just lost their home.

“I feel like we almost saw this dude. It was the funniest thing ever, uh, at Floyd,”

Floyd May weather is in on it. But then when they, then the fires happen, they're like, we're like, we can't, you can't put this in. It's like, it's too insensitive. So they pulled it. But it was like, you're supposed to be in the first episode. It was really funny. But, uh,

and Dre Mangreen was there. Yeah. He was in another one. He's always fighting. He's always

hitting white dudes all the time. Is he? I don't know. He used to be anyway. He might have gotten healed or whatever. He might have gotten saved. Well, yeah, I haven't, I haven't heard it much about him hitting him. He was just hitting whites or off whites or whatever. You know, he's hitting like mixed dudes. It was like, it was like mixed and down. You know, he just seemed like a lot of times. He wouldn't crack like a real solid black dude. Now, we'll say that from and respect to me as a champion.

And he, he, what my ass, but he definitely punched mixed and down. But dude, that's so cool. What's Anthony Davis like, does he have a big personality? Yeah, he's dope. He's really fun. He, the reason we end up doing this because he was a guest on our show. And we did a bunch of stuff on them. And then he was like, I love this. He's like, I love this one. The basketball is like, this is what I really want to do. It's really good. He's like, this is what, this is where I really wish I could do.

And we're like, why don't we develop something together? And then we did and got picked up foul play foul play. That's awesome. So people watch us on TBS. Yeah. It's on every week now. Yeah. That's great, bro. Yeah. I'll share something about it soon as our show's over. Yeah. Yeah. Um, dude. We got, and I told you, we got, I start filming Joker's again in two days. Season 13.

“Crazy. So minutious the podcast. Yeah. podcast improv show. I think it's like a talk show.”

Okay. Yeah. It's a talk show. And that's going to just get me on YouTube. Yeah. Right. Well, we're going to pitch it. Are we going to, you know, try to sell it? But, you know, YouTube is great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing YouTube. And you just like, just on YouTube. And now you're like, if it's, if it's, if better be on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Dude. Yeah. That's right. You're staying so busy. Do you feel kind of overwhelmed?

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't, I had another kids since I saw you last. Oh. So. Do you remember last time, dude? No, man. Yeah. You know why I did, I get talked to so much about about my parents on the last time. And the clip of me talking about my daughter. Oh, yeah. It was like, it was pretty dope. That's playing. I want to see it. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to feel something today.

I haven't. I haven't spoken about anything in public prior to this. Your show now is like, it's like, news is the news media. I mean, like, this is, you know, this is literally, guys trying to decide if they have to take it. But it is. Yeah. And I, you know, I'm like, all right. So I was like, let's, you know, I talked about my own terms with you. I felt comfortable. I'm like, you know, you were like, you take it off. You know, I just leave it. Just put it

out. I'm happy. And ever since that has been like a new thing for me, because like, it's out in the open now. Now, my new hour that I'm torn with, like, I talk about my family, my kids.

Sally, like, just tell me, like, yeah, because I think there's like, there's probably parts

and all of her laws were afraid to talk about something. Yeah. Or afraid to talk about it. And then it ends up being different from the other side. Because yeah, I think you were, uh, yeah, let's just say, we'll take a peek at it really quickly. You know, he's take this out. I love the music of the background. I don't know what's overwhelming. You can't put the process. Yeah, you can't believe it. You came on crying. That's good. That's good. That's good, man.

Why do they put them? You was like, that was a little gross. It really was. It felt like, yeah, I felt like the beginning of Castlevania in the game. Yeah, like, come on. This guy's like, on the one-two player screen is like, yeah, the beginning of the wish. That was a gay player, dude. Yeah. That's like when a gay guy kind of gets trapped and like, like, you know,

“fuck it out of Halloween party and New Jersey, dude. That's what Castlevania was because it's just”

this dude just running around with a whip. That wasn't like the, like, the most popular clip. What happened was a lot of parenting, like accounts, like, Instagram accounts, and then they picked that up and inspirational accounts. And it was a different clip. And that, it just went like so so viral. And then because your show is like, so big, like, like, a weekly and did they really? All those people and all that stuff picked up, it's like, South secret wedding. And it's like,

it wasn't really a secret. I just didn't like tell you guys like, I'm married. It was like a secret wedding. But that's kind of hot though. Kind of makes it kind of hot for you. And for Jessica, that is just like, oh, it's a secret wedding. But that's a malo to it. Oh, and practical Joker's star, Sal reveals, he's secretly got married. It has a baby daughter, bro. That makes you sound like a fucking rapper. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But dude, yeah. I saw a boy now, too. No, the best, dude. It's

“best. Is he? Yeah, he's so dope. He's awesome, man. What's his name?”

What have been in the other name? I would not have been excited. Dude, that's so cool, man. Yeah, but didn't feel like, I want to, I want to hear about him. Yeah. Well, yeah, tell me what you love about what's what it's something. It's just like, you know, it's so cool. It's like, so I went through everything with my daughter and then like, she's like three and a half now. He's about 16 months in like you, you, you, it goes so fast. It's

so nice to get to do it over again. Because those moments when they're that young are so fleeting. They're changed. They're growing so fast there. Like it's a new thing all the time. And it goes lightning fast. I do try the best you can to savor it. But it's like, it's, it's, it goes so fast. So then to, to just start from scratch again. And then like the first time, it's all first for you and the kid, right? So it's like, you're processing all this stuff. And then

so the second time you have like a, you have this foundation and an idea and you know what to look for. And so you can kind of experience it in a different way. You just experience it like a little bit more. You're able to really absorb it. Because it's not like you're like a deer in the headlight. Oh, I see. And so it's like you're playing a hot potato the whole time. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, you just, and you just, um, it's just really nice to,

those those stages are the ones that, you know, parents are always like, oh, if I could have my kids

back at that age again, you know, so it was like nice to get like a double dip in there. That's cool. And, uh, and just watch them grow like interact and and watch their relationship together, build like the kids. There's nothing that that's the, when they're like sitting on the couch, you get a leaning on each other just eating fruit, you know, like, and he'll just crawl up on the couch and put his head on our shoulder while she's just like eating something and they just sit there. Like,

and then you walk into the room and you see them just cuddle in each other, whatever. It's like, come on, man. There's like literally nothing close to this. Oh, that's enough. I get right

“in between them, you know, they get on, you know, the best thing I could do is is have my kids in my”

lap just holding them, you know, like, just watching, like, just, yes, I know it's, I bet it's almost like as you almost, I bet can't, I bet you almost, you can't even let them know how much you love them. It's impossible. It's impossible. That's kind of a crazy thing. If you think about it, that there's something inside of us, you know, this is humans, right? Where you, I couldn't even let you know how much I love you. If I had, like, it's impossible for me too. It's impossible. I don't

know how to express it. Yeah. And do you feel like that's probably a feeling for most parents? It has to be. I think it's in innate feeling. Right. So, so, and I'm not trying to approach it, but I forget sometimes if I don't share what I feel like. Sure. So, that to me just shows us how

powerful love must be. If we can't even, if, like, as human beings, just as, like, citizens in the

world, we can't even, if, like, the love that you would have for your child, you can't even explore, it can't be expressed. It can't even express. No, the way, nothing will do it justice.

things you can express, a lot of other feelings, like anger, hatred, you know, like, um, yeah, affection, or, like, um, look up some other feelings. So, we just knocked short of three. What was pretty, you're like happy, mad. What else? Confused, cranky. I mean, all these other things. But this is so, you know, so, I don't mean to cut you off. No, no, go on. You come up, but you get what I'm saying. No, because it's crazy that we can't even,

that it's love is such a powerful thing. It's bigger than us, even as humans,

because we're not able to convert, you know what I'm saying? We can't do it. That is pinging in my heart at all times. Like, you know, when you're, like, your heart melts, you know what I'm feeling? Like, sometimes if you say the moment you see something or like, whatever, and you're like, your heart, like, melts a little bit. So, what this is like, is that, like, the melting feeling is constant. Oh, yeah. So, like, just fully, it doesn't stop.

Walk around with a mop. Yeah, dude. It just doesn't stop. It's like, continually melting the whole time. If they're, you know, I talked about something there. And if they're even in the room with me,

“just something changes, you know, that's it. It's just, it's wow. But, um, I remember you saying that,”

yeah, it was just, that was a, that was awesome. And then soak it so cute to see them like, like, see those, uh, you just had up those, those color-coded things. So, my daughter, she goes to, like, occupational therapy. And she takes it with, to learn about it, like, to prod a processor, this stuff, and her feelings, so they teach her this stuff. And so she, she knows all these, these color-coded emotions. So, when she comes home and she's having, like, uh,

'cause they're gonna, uh, you know, they're gonna have these, like, these, it's inevitable for them to, like, the, like, when they grow up to have these, like, um, you know, their tantrums and this, they have to work through all this. It's not like you have a bad kid if they are, like, if they act out, like, they're gonna be crazy at two and three as well. Right, because they're, all these feelings are so, are getting baked in a different way. And they've got them developed.

And they don't know how to, you know, it's like, for some, you get an alarm scooter, you know,

like, you just fucking taking that bitch for us. That was like the first time I got on one. Yeah. It was,

like, I didn't know what was going on. Yeah. Yeah. But she'll tell me, like, if she's, like, upset, she'll be like, "Dad, I'm in the blue zone right now." And they call the blue zone. She's like, "Dad, I'm in the blue zone right now." And I'm like, "You're upset?" She's like, "Yeah, I'm sad. I'm in the blue zone." She's like, "I need to get to the green zone." Like, this is how she speaks to me. I'm like,

“let's do it. What do you need to get into that green zone? Let's do it. She's dope, man. They're like,”

my, you know, little bus friends. That's so cool. They'll also for a kid, even just to be able to, like, well, just to have a, instead of just having a feeling, have a thought about a feeling, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, what it, so it's, it's like, add so much more to you. Yeah, it's, it's unreal. You're not just a victim of how you feel. There's a little bit more like, "Well, then we'll be ready." Like, they start thinking in a way that's just not just basic. It's like,

think about, like at the end of the day, when she goes to bed, we always discuss the day.

So we talk about, like, I'll sing our song. And in the song, with the song I sing every night, I made, I made it up myself. Oh, just naturally, it came out, you know. And then I started adding verses to it. Now I think this whole song. And the song, the whole point about the song is I love you. I love you so much that you'll never know how much I love you. Like, that's literally what it is. But then we talk about the day. And then I said, like, you know, what, you know, what we

most proud of today. So like, she's three, but together thinking like that, like, not just like, would you do today? But what were you the most proud of tonight? It positions her mind to think that way. And then like, build our confidence of it. This stuff, like, there's so much parenting stuff and psychology, child psychology, as well as it's fascinating. And it's like, you know, it's the most important job you'll ever have, you know. So I like take it. Like, you know, it's it's it's it's

great to it's hard, but it's like it's really fun to to raise up to raising human beings. It's like, it's so it's so it's an honor, you know, like it's a real honor. Dude, that's pretty cool to be able to think, I don't think about it like that. Yeah. I'm here to tell you about a, uh, a social app or atmosphere or website. I'm about that that I really love. And it is Shopify. Shopify's hands down the best place to start and grow a business. Shopify makes it so just a small business can

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Slash Theo. Go to Shopify dot com slash Theo. If I can do it, you can do it. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Did you know that 88% of Americans say they are feeling some form of financial stress at the start of 2026? Of course you knew that. We all know, I mean, who doesn't know that? Money worries. Yep. They can bring on anxiety, sleep disruption. Just depression. And even just a general rattling of the bones. They're one of the leading sources of conflict

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ad like do they ever make you give him like something that's just like send me out of the traffic. I'm not a year piece. You don't want to shoot any. No, no, it's more about just managing, you know, just managing their behavior. But it's like, yeah. Yeah, what was it, but what was it like? So after you kind of shared that you had a family, you kind of had that your family was growing, right? And sometimes, you know, I know you had said like, it's not all is everybody.

You want to keep certain things that are just your own life, right? Yeah, stop. I mean,

I'm private. I was always private. So I won't you give it away. Did it feel different?

I felt like a weight lifted. It did. It did. And has it been a positive thing? Or do you just like, yeah, has it been like, okay, does it feel because I try to also protect everything. All the time is also kind of, it's a lot. It is. That that took a lot. It took a lot to keep things to myself and not, you know, like not what things get out. And when I'm out in public with them, you know, like, because everyone has a camera now and everything is like, you're always got

just like, bird like a worry, you know, because I want to, I won't have post my kids online. I want to shield them from that. But just, it's just about protecting them. But people would chill with it. And like now that it's out there, it's like, it feels like I could just freely talk about it. It feels good. Yeah, it feels good. It was like, you know, I'm glad I did it. Yeah. What was one of the toughest experiences that you had with your first child?

Was there like a time that would like, you know, because like the other day my buddy Kevin and his wife, they like, I think maybe their kid, like, ate like a thing a little bit of guacamole or something. What happened? Is it allergic? I think his ears like swollen. No, what did I do? That's scary.

You know, like, shit. He's allergic to like Mexican shit. So that's like, no, you never know.

But you don't want to run your kid into the hospital and sound racist. Like, I think he's allergic to

“like Mexican flavors. Mexican flavors. Mexican flavor. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I mean. I walk out”

this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that anyone would take it as like, you know, any a slide against any Mexican people are trying to look for an edge all the time. Yeah. And I think it would be sort of specifying. Yeah. It's been greeted. Yeah. Yeah. They happen to be, they happen to be all Mexican cuisine. But I don't know what that is. Yeah. They have to use it best. Yeah. But yeah. And I think these have been bought from like maybe a Latin vendor. It could have been a Puerto Rican guy who knows.

It could have been, um, yeah. That's the craziest thing though. Like when they, but yes, but if they get hurt or something like that. So they ran a meat. Yes. But they're like, they're like, they're like, what's going on? You're like, you know, Max, he is just rolling up. You know, he's going to watch the LeBomb. Or whatever. Like, I don't think that's the problem you've found. But anyway, yeah. But anyway, what I'm saying is, sorry, what is wrong with me? Why can't

I say what I'm saying? What I'm saying is that it threw my buddy for like a, it was a crazy, you know, I saw him. Like it was like he was so freaked out. Dude, I, like sometimes I'll fall, like hit their mouth and start bleeding or something. You see, when you see blood on your kid, it's like,

“and you have to be like, so chill. You have to dictate the tone. So they don't, you know,”

they're true. Yeah. I mean, that's the best way to do it to keep them even temperate and like, they're going to reflect your energy and they're going to react the way you teach them to react to something. So you always got to try and play it even keeled and like not make a big thing of stuff like that. So that they're able to handle situations themselves better. But it is nuts, dude. Like, oh, one time I was like, you're trying to cut my son's nails. Like, you know,

you got to clip them. Like, and he, and like, they don't kids, they don't stay still and dude, I clipped a little piece of the end of his finger. Like, and he, I saw it just bleeding everywhere. Dude, I almost, I didn't know what I was going to do myself after that. I was like, so I,

I think he might have cut his ear off some. Never mind. No, man. Go cut his own ear off,

but I didn't know he clipped anything with his brother. So I mean, be everyone in the family's missing something. And then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, did you know Pablo Picasso died like a couple of years ago? Oh, see, you see that clip? Yeah, dude. What was it? It was Gary Vite, the Gary, Vite was with me this week. It was, it was, it was Vite. Okay. He was talking with him. He's the one who told me, yeah, we were talking in the car, actually. He's like, dude, yeah, yeah, bring it up. Let's bring that clip.

I mean, it was, there was 50 years ago, but like, I thought Picasso was like, from the 80s. And he told it. We're in the car. He's like, do you know this? And I was like, no, he's like, dude,

“he was, he was like a live when we were born. Yeah. I think one of the part of it is he,”

do you know that Picasso probably ate it out back steak house? You're like, right, right, right, right.

I never put that together. Yeah. Oh, yes, it's Joe Liss. Sorry, sorry. My bad.

You guys know this. Mama Picasso, you know what he died in 1973. Did you know that? I thought he died in 1380. I almost shit, 1973. Picasso had a car. Is that unbelievable? Pablo Picasso was driving around Spain in like a Honda Civic listening to Black Sabbath on the radio. It's crazy. Ozzy Osborn and Pablo Picasso were working at the same time. He saw six Superables.

Oh, listen, that's good. Yeah, dude. He's so great. He was in a great movie that Louie made too, man. Yes, Joe Liss. That movie was great. Yeah. Good job. Such talented guys. That was a great bit. I got, I got, I got something, so I want to try and find these people. Maybe this can, you're saying that here can help me. All right, I got a story for you. Yeah, I talked, so this last night, we talked about this last night just came out. It was a story that I

forgot about and I'm like, I'll talk to Theo about it. Maybe I could get, so in 1995, I was at the Salvation Army. We went buddy Joe and we found a VHS cassette, right? And it was like a home, a home one, not like a movie like you buy like a, you know, a home, like a blank. Okay, I had a label on it and it said, Amy and Stu Shankman sweating. And it was, I'm going to maybe get the exact date wrong, but let's say it said like November 25th 1995. It said, I'm sorry, it said November 25th 1985. Okay,

right? It said Stu and Amy Shankman's wedding November 25th 1985. That day that we picked it up was November 25th 1995. So I found this blank cassette of this people's wedding on their 10 year anniversary. Now back then, you got, if you had your wedding taped on VHS, that's where it was.

“That's it. Like that was the copy. Yeah. And this was handwritten. So it's like, I think they accidentally”

got rid of, they, they don't have their wedding video. Right. So Amy and Stu Shankman do not have their wedding video. Right. And we picked it up on the exact, we were like holy shit. 50 cents. We bought it. We went home and watched their whole wedding. Right. It's amazing. It's, it's a, it's a, I'm wedding from 1985. It's a, it's a, it's a Jewish wedding from 1985. The best man is a little, a little short guy. Yama guy. He does, he does his, in his best man's speech. He wraps.

I swear to God. And I, I, I mean, I, I, I, at this point, I've watched it. Was it B.C. Boyz He was right. I was dozens of times. No, he wraps his own rap. Oh. And now this is the part, this,

I'll never, I know because I watched it. He's, he's like, he's, he's jumping up and down. And he's like,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. We're gonna party tonight. We're gonna jump up and down. It's never gonna end. This is the, was the rap. So it's an amazing wedding. I swear to God. It's an, it's an, it's an amazing wedding. And, uh, and I watched it over the years. I've had people over. We put it on. I watched it just to snap. About maybe five years after that. I went, my friend Joe, we're in a gas station. He's getting gas in this car. And he's like, sound. And I'm like, why did he go? Look at that car right there.

And there's a car that's like pulling out of the gas station. He's like, look, look in the car. Who do you think that is? And I look and I go, is that fucking stew shankment? No, I don't know

“this guy from a home wall. Right. He's like, I think it's stew shankment. So I'm like, oh,”

shit. And he pulled out. And my friend had to finish paying the gas. And we jumped in the car, peeled out and tried to follow him. Yeah. And we lost him. Oh, okay. So fast forward. He losing people. I hate, I, especially in a chase. Uh, so then, uh, I never gave, I, I, I have this wedding video. I still have it. Do you have a piece of their life? You have a piece of one of the greatest moments of their life. Yeah. Right. So, so about two years ago, I'm like, we got to find these people

search in for stew shankment. It's that yes. And we got, we got to see if, like, what's

like, we were like, who knows if they're dead, they're still together. What's going on? So he reached

“out. He said that told me, we got at a thrift store. We found their wedding video in 1995. Like,”

I've, I've had, I've had their wedding video for 31 years. Oh, I have it for 31 years. I've had their wedding video. They've been married. This will be their 41st anniversary. The brothers, like, they're still alive and together. I swear to God, he's like, this is insane. You got to, like, yes, so I'll let's broker this. Yeah. So, so I, I had the idea a couple of years ago when I was developing a TV show. And so this was an idea for one episode of this TV show where I like,

do things like this. And so that's when we decided to reach out. Anyway, I didn't finish developing the show. And I kind of forgot about them. And I thought of it last night and I brought it up. And I was like, oh, shit, in this brother's eyes, we contacted him. We're like, yeah, we have their wedding video. And we want to get it to you. And then we went radio silently again. He's like, why do these people do this to me and my family? So I'm like, I got to, I got to, I got to,

“I got to find them. And I want to get in the video. So I feel like if, if people know, I think they,”

they were originally from Staten Island. And so Stu and Amy Shankman. And I have your wedding video for the last 31 years. And I want to give it to you. I did digitize a copy of it for myself. Yeah. Because when I thought I was going to give it back, I was like, I won't share it with anyone. But I know, it's, it's also a piece of me now. It's fine, it's fake. Yeah, exactly. You know, so I have it. So, so, yeah, we got to, you got to search him for the Shankman's do because

there's something special about the, I know, I, you know, got an Alex Shankman. I knew a couple Shankman. Oh, I know a Shankman too, actually. There was an agent. I knew, I think it was, I actually know a Shankman. I knew it. No, I don't think they're related, but I know it, you're just more on me. I think he's like a choreographer. Yeah, there's a, there's a lot of things up here. Is there a famous Shankman choreographer? Especially in Hollywood. Adam Shankman. Adam Shankman. I didn't know

Adam. I just realized that the first time, I had no Shankman. The Shankman. Yeah. You know what,

Shankman? Yeah. Dude, that's wild. I hope I find them. Well, I, I hope that you find them. Also, Stu and Amy, the guy has been holding your love and, you know, the guy's been watching you, one of the greatest moments of life. It's like, it is spare time on the old train. So, right, yeah. Dude, do you think there's really something could be a cool show out there to make or create people say this shit all the time, but, um, of like something about finer old things of VHS.

And then, yeah, like, found footage. Yeah. Dude, I worked with this one comedian. There had been like one of those Nigerian scams that had happened to his grandmother, and they taken a lot of her money, right? You have other things that email you have. Yeah, they're pretty trapped in, uh, petting zoo in Nigeria. Yeah. So, they won't let me out of whatever, send them money. So, to get them back, he started doing these things where he would send them

videos of things. And he said, if you do, I need you to do reenactments of this, and then I'll pay you for it. But instead, he would just have them do the reenactment, and then he would just post a video online, right? No. But the best part was, but he would send him was, he would send him scenes from Seinfeld, right? So, he would send like, seeing from Seinfeld to, like, some people in Africa, like, into Serena Village. And they would reenact the

scenes. No. Yeah. And he had all these amazing, he's got to be kidding me. He had all these amazing video clips, dude. Oh, my God. That was an African village reenacting like, Master of my domain. Yes. Are the parking one like that? All these different ones that he was free of that. It was pretty great, dude. And so eventually, he had healed him, he was like, okay, at a certain point, we're kind of even, you know, we do that. Because comedians can hold

some grudges over the years. But yeah, I've been always been a little bit of a collective,

find something you say, but you're like, uh, maybe I'm supposed to tell me, I don't know if you're above this, you're telling me when to I, and hindsight now, I realized you were probably joking, but you were like, yeah, I have a marble notebook with the name of every person I've ever slept with in it. Yeah. I'm like, get out of here. He's like, yeah, you, I'm like, yeah, a marble notebook. Oh, you said you had a notebook. I, I mean, in my head, I project that was like a

a mead. You know, like a school notebook. Yeah. And I've written it down my whole life. And I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me. And you're like, no, I know, I know the exact number of people I've slept with. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, you were fucking with me. I'm sure, but I was always kind of a

“documenter of things. Yeah. The number, and I remember the number you said, I do. Yeah. Because it's”

really funny. I'm really funny. This is only part I can't believe that I would say something. I guess that I want to hear it. You want to know what you tell me. Yeah. He said, he said, I have every single name

I never missed the name. And I was like, you know, the exact number you slept with is like, yeah,

I'm like, how many he said, about a thousand 50. Really? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm not good at it,

I mean, it's like, we'll Chamberlain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. I don't even know what's

“me. But I believe that I could have said this. You told me. Oh, I didn't good. Yeah. Good. Oh,”

sure. I did at least. I don't have a, I mean, your real number is not anyway close to that. That's

crazy to listen to. Oh, dude. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I've always like a thousand 50s. It's, but it's

a perfect field. It's really the perfect number to say. Because it's like, to go over. It's a great thousand and eight. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I remember when I was going up to hit this kid, his brother had slept with like 12 women or something. People were fucking losing their minds in our town. Yeah. Because we're cutting down trees and fucking tickling people. They shouldn't touch and shit like that. That shit like that will affect you. Oh, dude. Yeah. Well, when you, when you

have like, when you're in an age where no one's got that kind of number yet. Oh, maybe everyone's a virgin. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One kids, I got slept with 12 people. You just like, I got a, I got a, I got to know all about here. We go. Yeah. Yeah. Warn out. Yeah. I'm just, yeah. There's nothing. Yeah.

“Then my life is means nothing. You know, we're going to bask and robins or whatever. And some guys”

slept with 12 people. 12 people in 80s, right? Yeah. Yeah. That shit was hectic, dude. Dude, I was the worst at sex. Let me see. Let's look at a high activity lifestyle for a person averaging one new partner per week. It would take approximately 20 years to reach a thousand virgin partners. So yeah. A lot. Dude, there was some years where I wouldn't even get involved in any sex. I was so fucking bad at it. So you, you, you, you were bad at it. So you've come a long way.

I've come a long way, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're from one. Are you a generous lover? Yeah. No. No. Okay. I'm not dude. I'm like that. For me, this, I realize that's the other day. I'm in like this. I'm in recovery, meaning for everything. So I was in one the other day. And people talk about this kind of stuff a lot. And like, intimacy disorders should like that, right? Like, I'm not here. I'm basically like, uh, I'm like a crass test dummy. That's what I've realized.

Like, other people are like living a life. And I am basically a crass test dummy out of here.

Why do you feel that way? Just because it's like, I feel like I'm never going to figure out

some of these parts. And I'm just going to be almost this like experiment that kind of happens. You know? And like, um, I realized I thought of it loving. It was like a off. It felt like a alter, it's like an altercation you get in. It has the same energy of like a session. Like a five to mid session. Yeah, enemy session has like a sexual session has like an almost a battle. Yeah, it's a fight not like physically like it's a fight. But just like the same amount of nervous

energy that's in a fight. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. That's the energy that I take into, like, I'm like, right? Like, so like, if you, if you see me, if we're working up, and I just keep kind of dunking your dog or if I duck off into the corner and have some guy barely no rub any of sport on my cheeks or whatever. And put a thing of ice on the back of my neck or whatever. You have a corner, man. Yeah, just just know. I'm doing the best that. Yeah. Just plugging

your nose up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm guy is putting a console on my nose. But do

yeah, I just I always I had so much nervous energy around women. So that was crazy dude. I love

when they do it like in the UFC fight or like a boxing match, whatever, when they cut to the corner, right? And it's like, you know, you, and you hear everything that the corner guy is saying the train is saying it's always like wildly inappropriate. Yeah. Like fuck this mother fuck a bro. You're gonna fuck him up, man. It's kind of, and then you're like, he's like, he's just sticking moving, and then you're like, home watching a fight or like, or he's somewhere and it's like,

you just don't expect to hear like, this guy's a mother fucking bitch bro. Yeah. You know, his mother passed away two months ago. I was like, oh shit. Yeah. He's like, yeah, he's learning shit. Yeah. You know, his cousin Azaz, my hit this little boy. Yeah. Like, they said, he'll be like, don't be a fucking pussy. Yeah. I'm like, whoa, I know real in the corner.

“Yeah. But it's really just sounds like, that's what makes anybody think they could be a corner.”

I mean, all of those behaviors. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that. Because yeah, it doesn't feel like there's a lot of real instruction. Yeah. So you have sometimes you hear someone get really good point as then you go to the other corner and they're just like, all right, bro. I feel like what does this guy do it? Yeah, they're saying nothing. They're saying nothing to the guy. I know. Yeah. That is pretty wild dude. Um, but yes, I'll in a misbrow. Some of that shit. I was like,

you know, there's faint and goats shit gets going too much. Yeah. Let me just go over. Yeah. Yeah. You hit like a thing. Oh, yeah. I hit like about 30 volts or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hit about. Yeah. What does a good sound as a goat make? Let me try it. They may have a sheep though. You got a goat. There's a goat in the sheep make the same noise. I think goat or more curious. So I think it's more like. Yeah. Let me try it.

Really? Now that's more like a, but what does the sheep do then? So it's the same thing. No, sheep. That

I don't know this. I don't know the difference. It's a sheep because sheep's not to go a gay goat just like, bagger. That's stupid street joke. What is a gay horse eat? Hey, so stupid. Some jokes like that. They were the best. Getting to laugh is the best man.

“That's the best thing, bro. Getting to laugh. The fact one thing I will say, bro, about”

certain moments alive, like, I've just been grateful that God is putting around people that that love just make me laugh. Yeah. We are friends with the funny people in the world. It's crazy.

It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. So I started on stage. I always sometimes think about this. Like,

I really in the moment on stage when I'm on stage. And I like the laugh. And so like, I laugh throughout my set a lot. And then sometimes I'm like, like, I don't think of it. It's just me being me. But like, then a lot of times I'm like, I don't want to laugh. Like, I don't want to be like, I'm laughing at my own stuff. But I really am in the moment having a good time. But I'm like, I don't want to that to come across as a crutch. But sometimes I'll be like, all right,

today consciously when you do like this hour, do not laugh, do not laugh. And just see how it plays. Like, don't laugh. Just like kind of keep, you know, and see how it plays differently with, you know, like, like, do you like, are you in the moment when you're on stage where you laugh at your own? Will you laugh? And like, just have fun in the moment. Are you like kind of like, keep it, like, this persona of like, because when you like tell your stories and stuff, you have a, like,

you know, you have a certain energy involved the way you do it. Yeah. But you do you have like just

like, like, do you think about that on stage? You can do. So you like, consciously don't want laugh or like, will you just like laugh? I'd like to laugh more. I used to think like, especially when when I was coming up and commenting, you hear about all these things that are kind of crutches. Like, you don't want to, yeah, some people write their notes and like, well, that's a crutch. And it's like, well, that's a crutch. Well, also how about this, somebody's getting up in front of you

and trying to make a room full of people laugh. Right. I don't care if they're on crutches, eight crutches. I don't care if they're, I don't care if there's one person in two wheelchairs.

“Let them, if there's things that help them, I think it to me, I think it's okay. Yeah.”

I don't like to do it. I'm not doing it as a crisis. What I'm saying is like, I naturally laugh. Yeah. And so I have to fight my natural instinct. Don't ever fight your laugh. Your laugh is, your laugh is one that warms people. It's like, it's extra you, you know, so that I think is a gift. And I think some of these people do, they've gotten to know some of us in our lives, and they may be happy. They may feel happy that we're in a room laughing, you know?

It's just like, they are. You know? Yeah. I think it's time. Yeah. I say laugh dude. I notice if, and I'll even be conscious of it. So I'm like, oh, the sets are not going that great in the beginning. And so I'm just like, dude, it's because you're not having fun. Yes. So let myself have fun. Yes. And let me be the person that's saying the jokes. Really, sometimes I'll try to almost transpose myself and pretend like I'm just sitting there laughing

at the jokes. Right. And then just almost like, I don't know. Because the person I always wanted,

I wanted to be the person sitting there laughing. But to me, I've always had like, you know, sometimes there's like a chip of much of some type of shit. Right. And so I was always like, you know, or being judgmental, whatever. So so we end up on the other end of the thing. I'm going to be the guy who's being a part of making the laughter. Right. But either way, I'm happy to be involved in the laughter. And I think it's okay if you laugh with the crutch.

Some people say it's crutch. I don't. I find it, especially as I get older.

“Fuck, if I get a chance to laugh. Yeah. But I think that's what I'm saying.”

So there's a lot of shit to say. Now, I think it's just making the distinction of like, I'm on stage having a good time. Like, not with intent. Like, some people will laugh 1,000 and 50s crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. That's a crazy thing to say. I thought about it ever since you told me that you really have to have, I retained the knowledge. Pro, you know, scary would be if one woman came over to mouse every week to hook up.

I would fucking make it like that. It sounded crazy to me when he said it. For if I knew that every week some guy was coming over for sex. Dude, I would fucking have to keep moving. It's off-putting. Yeah. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much, man. It's too much, man. Yeah. That's a lot hanging over your head, man. Every week. Oh, I got an anxiety thinking about it. And here in a peel off and disappointment, too.

Here in the grass. There was this, it leaving her. Yeah. And you don't even have gravel. They're so pissed. They went and bought gravel and put it under their tires. I love that every time someone leaves your house, they have the things that you peel out of here. Yeah, too bro. My fucking uncle, he was supposed to get gravel and he actually bought got a bunch of like fish on whatever the stuff that goes to the bottom of the pellets.

Yeah. Fish, Kate. Fish. Fish. Yeah. And I was like the fish. Coi? Yeah. Not a shit that goes in a fish. Oh, the fish is gravel. Yeah. Fish and gravel. Yeah. Yeah. I fished and gravel dude. And his wife was so pissed, but it was irritable bro. And dude, they fought about that shit. But here in people fight over. Yeah. And you're fucking fish gravel. You and your fucking fish gravel James. Yeah.

Yeah. Just hearing shit like here in terms like that, you and your shitty little fish.

fight over gravel. Just God. That's the kind of shit that keeps me going.

“I have I had a fish, uh, my niece, uh, you know when they have like the fair at school, they go”

festival and they give the special about the diving and the children. Oh, that's fun. It's messed up. Yeah. You throw like a ping pong ball in a cup and then they send the kid home with a bag of fish and like these fish are just dying. And so my niece brought home with fish and I knew the

shit was going to die because like when I did it when I was a kid, I could never keep a fish alive

because I didn't have a setup. I'd come home put the fish in a bowl. Yeah. And then not really understand it needs a filter and it needs to be aerated and then the fish would eventually die and feed it like bread, you know. And then it would die. One time I brought a fish home and I was like, I don't know if I'm going to tell the story. But like I brought a fish home from school and I was like, I knew that the previous fish had died and I thought it because they didn't have bubbles.

Which in my head I was like, it needs bubbles. I didn't think it needed like air, right? It needs bubbles. So I got home. My mom wasn't home yet. So I put a big salable. I put the fish in it and I got a straw and I was going to tell my mom, we have to go to the thing to buy the, you know, the fish store to buy the stuff so this fish will survive. But I needed to bridge the gap

until she got home. So I took a straw and for like three hours, I blew into the into the bowl.

But I was blowing carbon dioxide into the bowl and I killed the fish immediately. So the fish died within hours because I was just hitting it with CO2. I don't know. So my mind needs to brought this fish home years later. I'm not going to let this happen again. I went and got the setup and I ended up having this fish for seven years and then I moved, fish came with me and then one day the fish was dead. And I had to know where though. It like died. I had to know where.

In no reason. You know, I just cleaned the tank. It was in a very healthy fish.

“And I think it was foul play. I really do think so. No way. I think someone put like,”

because I tested the pH about I would do all that shit and then I tried to clean it and then I had people over and then it was dead and then I think it was like someone like poured something into the tank. And then I didn't want to flush the fish. I had a 70 year relationship with the fish. Oh, yeah. And so I didn't want to flush it. I was going to bury it. I might have told this but I was going to bury it. But I didn't want to bury in the yard because it's summer and

I didn't want to decompose and smell. So I wrapped it in tin foil. I put it in my freezer. And that was like, that's come closing in on. It's 15 to 20 years ago and I never got rid of the fish. It's still with me. I have a I have a goal for a frozen goalfish in my freezer for over 15 years. That fish is still in my freezer right now. And I moved three times and I took it with me. What? Yes. I had to put them in like on ice and I moved in this hard on everyone.

It's on it. I have the fish. Oh my god. I have a dead fish for over 15 years in my freezer right now. You know it's in your freezer. No, exactly where it is in my freezer. It's beautiful.

It is man. I took it out on hey babe one time. I took it out for the first time. I never

unwrapped it in all 15 years and we opened it on hey babe and it was it was it was it was tough because it was a goldfish but like a lost a lot of its gold. It was like a pale gold and like the eyes were kind of gone. I guess over time I guess in the freezer God takes the gold back or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what there you are right there. That's COVID. You could tell right? Yeah. Very like a very rabbinical right there. He's well, dude.

Oh my god bro. It definitely has like a Michael Jackson tent to it because crazy. Did you see it? Yeah, I can see just a little bit of it there. Yeah, show me that. Dude, you know um oh my god. Wow. Yeah. The poor fish. It's cool. What was it same? I didn't name it and I because that was another thing. I read the fish. I had prior. I named died. So I called him fish for seven years. Yeah. Yeah. I at least like if I give took on a new

strategy to keep him alive. Yeah. I was trying everything I could and we had seven nice years. He used to eat out of my hand. No. Yeah. I don't know if it was really because we had a bond.

“I think they would just do that anyway. But I like to think it was because we got close.”

And how do you do what you put your hand in there? I put my hand right in. I like hold the flake and put it in. It would just come out. There's a lie in. No, no, I swear. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't think it is. It's like a drive through for it. I feel like it's like going to the drive. I felt like a trick. I felt like I had a like a you know how they look like a flee circus or something. Yeah. I felt like I had a fish that did tricks. Well dude, we had the

acrocat lady. She came on here. What is that? This lady she'd been traveling on like a acrocat. Like 20 years or something and she's uh she should drive the tour bus that the cat went a tour bus. No. Yes. That the cat ran and I'm paraphrasing a little bit here. But one of the toughest shows that she had one of the toughest experiences. She's on the road somewhere. Somebody left the window open, maybe from smoke in her cigarette or something. And tune of the lead

cat gets out. No way. Yeah. And she lost the cat. Couldn't find it. Oh, and the show must

understudy. Yeah, tune is understudy. Whatever. I don't even know. Yeah, it was just like

“to lobby or something was the understudy. Yo, that's crazy. He's got to come in and he's”

always, you know, he's Italian. So he's got to come in doing his to lobby. And he's like,

he's big break. Yeah. Yeah. But they might have taken tune out. She thinks tune I got away, but they might have been there might have been foul play there. That's crazy too, because tune was a star. And once he leaves and he goes into the open road like that, everyone he passes has no idea who he is. That's a star cat amongst you. It's almost like a story from the Bible and they didn't know Jesus was. Yeah. You know, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. That is amazing,

bro. Yeah. I wonder what his cloud is like out in the wilderness though. And now, Father and was like, oh, shit, that's Tuna. That's Tuna. And that's Tuna. We're getting out in the street. Dang, but Tuna out here, bro. Tuna, here. Damn. He read like that. He in the trenches, good. Like Tuna outside, Tuna got out. But, dude, Tuna is not about that life anymore. Dude, is that I ever, Tuna? You know, he was the last pet you had. You're pet now? No, you

can't ever pet now. No, I never rode too much, right? Yeah, I've never, I plan to get a dog. Yeah.

And this has been a slow feeling for me, but I plan to get a dog and maybe I can get a wife. And not if, one day I'll get a wife and I'm a family, but I would like to get a dog and cat. And it doesn't all have to happen together, whatever. Yeah. But I think if, if I don't get married or something, maybe I'll get a dog and cat and maybe something else, I wouldn't mind getting a couple horses, probably. Wow. You ride horses? I wouldn't ride them, but I would

go over by them. Yeah, you go next to them, talk to them. Yeah, it'd be like that. Brush them clean up. Let me ask you a question. If I see a horse, that's not in the wild. It's got on horseshoes. Every horse in captivity has on horseshoes. That's a good question. Or is it just like parade horses and horses that are like going out on the town or whatever. I'm not sure. Look it up. That's a great question. This guy, no Mr. Mike is a fairier.

What is a fairier? A fairier is the guy that comes in and puts the shoes on the horse. Oh, really? Yeah. That's called a fairier. Trims, the toenails and everything. I got stuck on fairier talk for a while and dude half my fee was fairier.

“No way. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that's what they were called. I thought they were like”

cobblers and something. No, no, no. I think cobblers is for chewing humans and fairies is for chewing. I don't know if it's just for animals. No, not all horses need shoes, whether a horse requires shoes depends on factors like workload, hoof, hoof health, genetics and terrain. I can see how hoof health would be a factor. You got to pair a week of protection. Oh, dude. If my feet are real tender, I want them bitches on. Yeah. Also, you want that

clippity club. You know, I don't think you, I don't know if you get a clippity club without this, without the shoe. Dude, you telling me a kind of thick, like tap dance, a thick horse from Atlanta ain't fucking pulling up with that clippity club. Yeah. Type shit. Yeah. What about those really, what are the Coca-Cola horses like at Christmas? Crosse. Yeah. Crosse. Yeah. That's a, that's that's a clippity club right there. That horse. You like, dude, when that horse shows up, bro, people,

some people salute it. I would salute it. You're like, that's interesting. How's that between men and women? You have confidence in your salute? Yeah. I did a, I did a show for the Naval Academy recently, and they asked me to take a picture of their man salute. And you see salutes and like movies and, and really in life, but like, I feel like there's a way they do it, that like it looks like it's just you just do this. But I don't know if this is right, like some of them do that,

“or like, like, is, is there a proper way to salute? Like, are we saluting the right way right now?”

Or is it like, I got nervous because I was like, I don't want to insult these people on salute the wrong way. Like, do you talk your finger in? Like, it was like, what are you, what are you doing with the salute? That's a good question. And they do it like, well, you don't want to, as someone was like, oh, like, it's like super, like locked in, like, the Korean do that. Really, like, you know, they do? Yeah. position of attention. So my hands are to my side. Arms are straight

down. When I raise my hand to salute, it's gonna be flat. Hands not like thumbs not tucked underneath my hand, like, kind of stuff. So we're raising it up. And then because I'm wearing head gear, my index finger is gonna come to the edge of my head gear. Arms at a 45 degree angle, hands slightly can't at down, not facing up, not facing down, just like this. You get my greeting and then drop my salute. Now that is how it's like for wearing head gear. If I was wearing something like maybe no

head gear or maybe the brave, but because I have glasses, then has to come to edge my glasses. If I was wearing the brave or maybe no head gear. There's a lot of them also don't wear glasses, then it comes to edge of my eyebrows. So it depends. Head gear or glasses, if you were, you know, if you're, he's like, if you have a scrunchy, you know, whatever. The scrunchy one's the best because

you put it in the bag. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's always

a, that's self-conscious, I've always been self-conscious about my salute. You have a ride of horse bear back? That's probably fun. That takes skill right there. Somebody around somebody got a horse.

Bear back though. Yeah, bear back. We tried to get a salad or something. Somebody put like a thing on it like nobody had a salad. We shouldn't have had this horse. They had a corner like a um, fair that was nearest. And I think when he kind of got in the way from the fair, somebody brought it down there. Yeah, being down there drinking with like the carnies and stuff the night before. And so they kept up by this dude, Mr. Ernie's house and we went over there and we were all getting on it.

And shit, it was pretty friendly. But I think in hindsight, it could have been really dangerous. I almost died on a horse. You did? Yeah, the class trip and like eighth grade. They put me on a horse. That started like full rodeoing. Who put you on a horse? The, the, the, the dude ranch that we went to for the trip. They put me on a horse and this horse, I'm a, I mean, eight, seven, eight grade. I have no horse experience whatsoever. I get on the horse. The horse is bucking, jumping up and down,

kicking and bucking. Yeah. And I'm, I'm looking around like, everyone's there. All the other students are on horses that are just sitting. Right. Like just chilling and then the cowboys are there. And they didn't even react quickly. Like they were like, I was like looking at them and they

were looking at me. I would basically like, when the rodeo thing opens and the horse is like,

“oh, yeah. That's what this fucking horse was doing. A lot of horses don't, but they don't prefer”

Italian. So I'll say it. Yeah. And this, you know, whatever, no judgements. A lot of, a lot of children don't are allergic to Mexicans. Yeah. But yeah. But I remember it wasn't like, you know, like the rodeo rodeo, but it was enough for like an eighth grade to be terrified. And I'm like, looking at these guys, like, is anyone going to step in at all? And the guy was just like, and I remember being like, help, I finally just said, help. And then the guy was like, all right, just calm down. I'm like,

this is how you treat a 12 year old. You can tell me to calm down. I'm just, I'm going to be thrown from this horse. Like, and then they got, they got me off that horse. And they gave me the most senior citizen horse that I had. Like the back was like slumped inward. Yeah. And then my horse, I got on that horse. The horse walked up to a tree and started eating the leaves and then wouldn't didn't leave. And the like everyone went into on the trail. And that horse wouldn't leave the

tree and just ate the, yeah. I just stood there on the horse. Like the years was like rose, maria, something years ago. It was like, it was like, yeah, a green stick. You just had a broach on the

“yeah, I would never get on a horse pair. That's why the bro. Yeah, horses. I think they're probably”

the most, the, the, the, the, the best animal that we have until we come out with a new animal, like until they catch a dragon or make something. Um, yeah. And we did have a neighbor, my friend William had a fish. And I remember it, and when it, it died, and then went and buried it at the long john silvers and like the flower bed outside of there. I remember. Well, that's an interesting show that restaurant. Yeah, of course. But it's a seafood restaurant.

Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, like, it's a little bit, it was like the closest thing I think people thought, like, yeah, it was nice that they had to flower bed. Yeah, like bring back with this community, like just outside of the parking meetings, they had a little bit of like, uh, kind of semi-designed

full years right there. Yeah. Yeah. That's always nice. A little extra touch. But I remember his dad took us

over there and we put that then we put it there and did like a prayer or something. I think we might have saluted too. Yeah. Salute that fish. We don't even know. Dude. Yeah. Yeah, it had a salute that thing. You don't shout out L. J. S. Brown. I feel like horses are like, they're, they're on a lot of like romance novel covers, like bear back, bear back horse riding is exotic. I feel like it's also mythological. I have the, the things that will happen to your body. You want to talk about checking yourself

for a testicle or cancer. But like I, like I, like I, like a nude woman on a horse bear back, yeah, that's a very exotic. All right. Yeah, because I think you think of the stallion and like, I'm gonna be the stallion. I'm a, you know, you know, you know, sleep with 1,000 and 50 women. Yeah, I would, I would, I would, I would take notice if a, if a woman rode by like a, a petalpless on the bear back on a horse, I would probably pay attention. I would probably,

I would probably follow because it's very interesting. Yeah. I wouldn't just like let that go by. I'm going to find out where, where this is going to end up. I'd want to see what happened. Dude, did you see a huh? Speaking of mythological things, did you see that Artemis space shuttle went to the moon? Do you think that really happened out? Let's take a gander at it. I think it happened. It's, I mean, because people are, people are very weary now. Well, first of all,

we start, do you think the first moon landing happened? I do. Because bring up the shuttle. Bring up the pictures of the shuttle. I'm sure you've looked at the shuttle in the middle. Yeah, but I also like, when you look at these things and sometimes I'm like, I maybe I can be convinced otherwise. You know what I mean? Like it's crazy that we haven't gone back. We went there now and just, did we just drive around it? We didn't get off right? Yeah, they just went for like a

“look, see or whatever. Yeah, that's why I would never, ever, ever, no matter what you could do, say,”

you could, I would never go into space. Never. Which one of the juggers do you think would go in a

space if they had to go? Probably more. I don't think he has, uh, I don't think he really, uh, he's, he's crazy like that. He's got it. Yeah, he's, he, he'll, he'd go up there. I wouldn't,

felt like. I just saw that movie that new Ryan Gosling movie, like it's like, uh, he goes into space.

Well, all they do is take beautiful men and put him out on a space, dude. Yeah. A lot of these movies. It's Matt Damon. It's Ryan Gosling. It's, um, Steven Tyler that has taken these good looking guys and what's his name? Well, well, right, all right. Oh, yeah. McConnell went to space. And to stellar, right? That's when you know Hollywood's like, this guy's good looking enough. We'll take him and show him off to the other planets, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine how to pick

up a new market, you know. Go out. I mean, I would be, look at that terrified bro. Yeah. I'd be terrified too, dude. If I went to space in a, uh, lifeguard tower, uh, from Santa Monica Beach. That's it. Yeah. That looks, yeah. Look at it. Can you zoom on it? It looks like a toy. Look at transformed or something. Bro. Yeah. That doesn't, that doesn't look like it. I don't have confidence on it. That's not even a fucking food truck. That, that looks flimsy, bro. Those little

legs and stuff. Like, how do you get up there and be like, man, I would feel like the existential threat of the, of the universe on my shoulders. Like, they put, they didn't even put a horseshoe's on it, dude. That thing. Yeah. Look at the legs up. Can you imagine being up there alone and no, see, this is the thing too. Like, they went up there. There are a couple of looped loops. But then that doesn't necessarily mean like coming back is hard. Yeah. It's risky coming back. So like,

you're signing up, I'm, I'm sorry. Like, none of those people can say for certainty that they, like, I wonder what the, what the odds were that they could be, it could go south. Yeah. Like, I bet you, it wasn't like 99%. Like, I bet you was like, all right, it's like 70, 30. Like,

“you might explode on the way home. Right. Well, that's crazy. Dude, dude. Do you have to imagine”

me coming home and see Earth and you're like, all right. Like, and then, and then it goes to when I was in, uh, when I was a kid, we watched the Challenger live at school. You know, we, we all watched it and we watched it and we watched it live and it fucking blew up. And it was like, the T-shirt, everyone just started crying. I was like, we were like, what? We tried to wrap our head around.

That was like, third grade. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that like there was a

school teacher in there and they just blew up. Remember this on live television? Yeah. That's wild. It was a pet. Wasn't there also a puppy in there? Was there? I thought that they sent a puppy in there. Well, I can't believe that we even did this right now. To me, it just feels like it's like, it's funny. We can't send help in the Gaza, but we can send the Artemis two to go circle around the moon like that to me is like, what do we, what, what was the purpose of the mission? Do you know?

It's a great question. Let's look it up. It wasn't just like, and I'm sorry there was no live animal on the space shuttle Challenger during the final flight in 1986. God bless those people in their families. Yeah. I know, man. Can you imagine that? Let's have a moment of that. Let's, can you imagine that like we're sending like, because you could, you could probably get in like,

“let me be honest with you. If they pick some people to go to space right now, right?”

Yeah. And maggots sick or whatever something happened to them, you get to the bathroom. I mean, I wouldn't even go like out of this little, just write above the atmosphere. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Katie Perry went to space. Yeah. Do you see? I don't know. I read yesterday she went to space. People said that they went to space, but that show was so it was very light. Yeah. That was very sketchy. Like waving at people. There was like

friends coming up to the edge. It was like, this isn't a space. Like, did you go? Would you go? I don't know. We're fucking this planet up so much. We don't need to be exporting whatever we're doing right now. I don't believe I like we belong on a rocket. Yes, right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, I still, I still get more, I'm still getting used to flying. Yeah. In playing with you know what I do think though? Oh, this is a good question. Let's let's answer this for people. The Artemis mission

our NASA's current program to return humans to the moon and use it as a stepping stone for future trips to Mars. We're not putting in habit another planet. We're not going to. You can't. But do you want me going up there? I guess, you know, I guess we're, I don't like that shit. When somebody's like, hey, I want to come visit you, but really did a stain overnight so they can

“go visit somebody else further away. I don't like some of that. That's what we're doing.”

It says carry out the moon and Mars strategy land astronauts on the moon. We're basically

using the moon for a place to relax for a little while. Establish a sustainable long-term human presence on the moon rather than just short-term flags and footprints visit like the Apollo. Dog, some of this shit, flags and footprints also was the name of the all-male dance team at, uh, at coming to the high school when I was there. Yeah. That's, that's pretty good. They would say champs. Yeah. Oh, who is going to go? How do you, okay, let's say, let's say

we get to the point. All right, we get to the point. I interrupt you. No, no, no, I'm saying, let's say we get to the point where people are already in the move up there. It's like, okay, how how many who's going up there first with what? Like, what are you going up there with some

You got to have some type of currency. You got to have like a bank or restaurant. Like, who's who's going up there building that stuff? Like, you need enough and then you need enough people. Like, I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand. How many people do you need to inhabit the moon at the exact same time to make it a thing where people live there and go about their daily lives there? Like, what's it going to be like? Or is it just going

to be like prehistoric at first? You're like signing up to go up there and live in a tent

and like just live off the land and have no entertainment. Like, you're like, um, like, like,

“like, that thing they do in the desert every year? What is it? Like, burning man? Like, burning man?”

Yeah. It's like, what, how how do you properly inhabit, like, you know, brother, this is for the elites, so. Yeah. Yeah. This is for the elites. You know, they're not bringing a couple giggle monkeys like us up there. This is for the elites. I think this is like, they're planning to do like, like, they can't do an Epstein's island anymore. I think they're looking for like Epstein's or, you know, we're going to find a place where we can really be nasty out here. Yeah. It's like

maritime law out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you're in an international war right here, right in an international air. Yeah. So I think that like, I don't know, there is a big part of me

do that, and I believe there's a big part of me that question says, doesn't believe any questions

it? Like, you don't think we went? I don't know if we went. I do believe in one, they're trying to distract us from a lot of the horrible things that are going on in the world right now that we're a part of, um, sure. So I do think there's some of that because there's a lot of these weird things. Like, one lady's mother gets kidnapped. They can't find her, you know, but they can tell you where you adore dash orders, missing and where it's been. Or whatever, right? But you can't find

one lady's wild. Yeah. But she disappeared from a porch. You got nothing. Right. Right. But we're going to move to the moon. Right. But we're going to move to the moon. Yeah. I think there's like, some of it's that. It's like, oh, we need a trip to the moon. That'll get people exciting. I'm saying like something to distract us. The pictures look crazy, though. You show the pictures.

“Yeah. I have seen them bring some of them up. That's why it's wild. It's like,”

but I think yeah, it could be that maybe something is, do you ever start to wear this, something is going to happen to earth and that that's why there's like, I mean, because it's kind of, it seems like a weird time has sent some people out to look at them. Do you agree? I think anytime, I don't know if there's ever a right time. I mean, I guess I agree with you.

I'm always thinking something's going to happen. I think maybe right after Christmas or something,

you said. They always have those things where it's like, those predictions from like Aristotle, like, it's like, you know, or like they predicted in the future. What's that drama? Not your drama, sir. And it's like, have they come true? That's a good question, dude. Oh, these are some of the photos. I mean, bro, it's pretty wild that we're out here like that. And do you tell me this shit hold on? You're telling me the best we can do is some guy takes

this with his thumb and front of the thing. That's the kind of shit that makes me feel like, I know it makes you believe that word. I would believe it out loud. Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine seeing that word out on eyes though. That's wild. And then the moon, bro, that bitch is viby though. She's mixed. Yeah. She's mixed for sure, dude. Oh, look at that. I don't know, dude. I don't,

“I mean, I think I'm, I think I want to live there. It's just, I don't know. It looks like”

I don't know. Maybe I'll do zero gravity. Like you ever do that floating around like the space. Not around you. No, my buddy did it. He said it's one of the craziest things he's ever felt in this life. And just flying, just flying in this arena. Like if you just stood up and pushed, if you pushed yourself off the chair and just just started floating over there, it went like that. It's got to be wild. As long as I make that sound while I float, if I don't make that sound, bro, I don't believe it.

I want to do that. I would really want to do that. Like to at least feel that sensation. I wonder if, dude, I can't even imagine like some of the, like imagine like you're the children. And this is kind of sad, but I don't mean it. Like a real sad way. I guess I just mean it in some curiosity of emotion. Like your parent or your brother or something is like going up to the moon. At that time, because the challenger like, was it headed to the moon?

Did great question, huh? I feel like, yes, because we're all sort of, we're going. Bro, they were blasting people out of no whatever. You know, there was just, there was just trying to get like shoot extra scenes for air butt up there. There was a moon. The space shuttle was on the low earth orbit space truck and did not have the engine power fuel capacity to reach the moon. No, the challenger was not headed to the moon.

The shuttle mission, the tragically ended in a disaster with schedule for a six day mission in orbit around Earth to deploy a communications satellite and study Haley's comet. Okay. Wow. Imagine how excited you must have been. I wonder if they were scared before.

Just to also kind of honor them a little bit. What date did that happen as well, Travis? Do you know? Eighty, I feel like it was like mid, mid, mid, 86. Wow.

Eighty, six. We're coming up on a 40 year anniversary of it. First ordinary citizen. I mean,

you're expected to be the ordinary speaker who's out there. That was a year after, he's been starting to shine when you got married. That was one. Two months after, Amy and Stu Shackman got married. Um, okay. This is Chris Krista McCoff McCalliff. The teaching profession in students and the whole country is really going to benefit from this.

“We hopefully are going to know enough a lot more about what life is like aboard the sun.”

Yeah, cool coffee. Sounds like she's from Rhode Island. A little bit where was she from? Yeah, you're right. It's pretty close. Isn't that close? That's really close. Yeah.

It's still close. Close enough. Yeah, Rhode Island. Yeah, it's right there.

She reminded the lady. It was like cool coffee ice coffee. You've seen that lady. I think we talked about this for we haven't. No, bring up the lady at the Dunkin Donuts at Burndown. Sorry. I mean, this is the problem with the internet dude. We're trying to pay Omaha homage or Omaha to Chris to McCalliff. And then, uh, bring up that yeah, Dunkin Donuts. See this? Yeah. Oh, with my boy Dutch, do you get ever seen this? No, this is, uh,

jailed on this. I got to tell the Lord of it. Jim Norton put us on this. And this is carried on

“now for like almost 10 years when a Dunkin Donuts burn down in Shimokin. Hoppy shop in Shimokin is closed”

following an arsenal over the weekend. Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage.

He's watched 16th Nikki cries trying to slide from the central Pennsylvania newsroom with more tonight, Nikki. Julie, a lot of people in Shimokin are upset that Dunkin Donuts is close because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today, we also learn new information about the teenage police charged with setting the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts on West Sunberry Street in Shimokin. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice

because of extensive fire damage. There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it, no doubt about it. A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday night. Shimokin police officer, Ray Psycho says no one was on fire. The place has extensive damage. Psycho says the fire on fire inside the women's bathroom. The toilet paper dispenser was lit on fire and within about a minute the entire place was filled up with smoke. If you'll speak about it

to explain that she's recently been put on new medication. Ray Psycho says for what reason we're like a side 13 year old who admitted to setting the fire is currently at a juvenile detention to show them blurred pictures of people who live in Shimokin aren't set the Dunkin Donuts as closed. Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill or something where I don't like their donuts. I rather the donuts a Dunkin Donuts. I don't know what that but I really missed Dunkin

Donuts. Oh, this guy's the best of why then a boy Dutch smith right here, bro. Chicken baker Chris Sound. I get some coffee, power rate up in dehydrated. I sit there all the time. If I have any like leave a work that I need to do, I go there. I leave my attorneys there. Leave a work. Leave a work. I sit there all the time. If I have any like leave a work that I need to do, I go there. I leave with my attorneys there. Oh my gosh.

And this is a lady and Jim Norton dressed up like a lady for how long have you been?

“No, Jimmy. Yeah, one year, which is the best thing I've ever seen. I hope he does it again”

allegedly. But let's start with the beginning of her again. I'm going to miss that place. Want it if they don't open up. Yeah, my my friends go in there. Get the cold coffee. I coffee. I get the cold. People missed there. Yeah, there you go. Oh my gosh dude. But when she said coffee reminded me a little bit of a of my call to race. Yeah. Oh, and go look at the comments on there. Is there any great

comments on their Google reviews? It's got to be. Oh, so funny. Went for a donut, please bring down. No, I said that. No, no, I'm saying it. Two stars. Here we go. Not open due to being set on fire, but other but otherwise a classy place to hydrate or so I'm told that's Nicolas Sordy right there. Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill where I don't like their Donuts or I rather the Donuts at Duncan Donuts. And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Duncan Donuts.

Shout out. Felix worked out. Oh, it's the best dude. Dude, you said air bud before it made me think like

brings in 10 right. Yeah, that you are the, you know, the, are there any more talk about you? Oh yeah,

“what happened to the camera that's like always made again. The talk about you all. You don't remember?”

Pernern hoots. Dude, what happened to dog Hollywood? What happened to dog Hollywood? Oh, that's classy. Benji, Kujo, Clifford, Air Bud, Spuds McKenzie, it was all these dog dogs, like big big dog person out. Yep, Heathcliff, Snoopy, Snoopy. Yeah, there's another one. Yeah, there's more. There's more. All dogs go to heaven. There was a turner in hoots. Turner in hoots. But I'm saying like there were like big, bankable dog stars.

Right. They don't, you don't see that much anymore. That's a great point. Yeah, wonder what happened? Why are there no more animal stars in Hollywood? Animal stars are disappearing from Hollywood

primarily due to the rise of sophisticated CGI and AI. I don't know if I feel like that's true though.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, because it's not the same. You don't need to, you know what I mean? Right. People know the love of a dog. They want that. Yeah, you can't replace it. Right.

“Yeah, I think we're primed and ready for an ex-big dog star. Oh, imagine where he would go on.”

Was Air Bud still doing, is Air Bud still doing this? I don't know. I know I read the other day that they're going to get that some dog now live longer based on some new medicines that they're giving them. They can live a lot longer. Really? And some people are happy about it. And some people apparently were not, they were only expecting their dog to live for so long. Well, that's I want to dog, but I can't get one right now. I gotta wait till like I stop

touring so much in the kids and look. But like I want to dog, but one of the reasons I'm hesitant

is because it's like you're really starting to sell for a heartache in like 10 to 12 years or something. You know, like my dogs all died eight years, 10 years, 12 years, 14 years, you know what? Oh, yeah, I mean, if that's a real thing, like, that a really, if they're giving them medicine or whatever it out live longer, yeah, I'll buy in for that. Yeah, we looked that up for me. Hampstores and grandparents, so it's like how children learn about about death a lot of times, you know. And

I said, well, yeah, you need that element to teach your kid to give you his kid a, you know, a gateway to death or what are like a way to see it. But they had sound or that was a huge

“movie. Remember that? That old yellow, that's another one. That was a huge, that was a huge”

movie. Yeah, that was massive. That was back in the little prairie house in the prairie time. A San Francisco biotech company, loyal is developing drugs aimed at extending dogs, healthy lifespans by lowering high levels of the hormone IGF1, which accelerates aging in larger dogs, leading candidates, including the daily pill. They're leading candidates, including the daily pill L.O.Y.O.O.2. The drugs work by reducing levels of insulin like growth factor one, a hormone

that drives rapid growth in young dogs, but contributes to faster aging and shorter lifespan in larger mature dogs. I thought you, I thought you'd be asking me. Oh, no, I just saw some information about this the other day that was really interesting. What else was in the news? I was something that was kind of worth this cost and I don't know if we want to go down too many heavy roads. Oh, as there have been something your children have wanted to ask for that you had to say no,

like, or is there like a tough parenting thing that you kind of like, like just tell me what's some of that's like giving me something from like the parenting world because I'm just curious about it. Yeah, my daughter went through a sleep regression recently, so like sleep what, regression? Okay. So like she was sleeping with night fine, but they don't, you know, they start developing their brain starts developing and they start having dreams and, you know, and they get a little

more like they start to understand stuff more. So like we'd watch like home alone all the time, right? She loves home alone. And she just saw the face value. She loved it. She knew what was going on. Like she was too, but she's like, God, everything. She got a little older and then she started, then I don't know where even though she watched home alone like 50 times, she like started to get scared from it for Marvin Harry. Yeah. Right. So one day like she kept, she kept saying like in the

car, she's like, Dad, I'm Marvin Harry following us like out of nowhere one day. And I'm like, no, they're not, they're not, they're all Marvin Harry after us. Oh, I love my baby. I'm that, they're not after us at all. They're after Kevin's toys. So trying to make it, you know, no, all right, but they're, are they going to come for me? I'm like, no, Marvin Harry, I've fun. Did you just have to Kevin's toys Kevin's going to put them through the ringer?

It's all good. And then like in the middle of the night, you're like, Dad, Dad, I'm scared because there's another cover. She was like, I'm Marvin Harry coming in. I'm like, my wife's like, you shouldn't have made her watch home alone. I'm like, she loved it. It wasn't till recently that she started getting scared. You know, but she'll call and be like, so you can't go up there. You have to go up there. Like, this is what got really hard. Like, going up there. Like,

So that's the whole few years. It's like, they're pushing boundaries. So they try to see what they

can get over on you. Like, so if you, if they want to come upstairs and they cry and not bring

“you upstairs, they know that they can get you upstairs every time. You have to break that habit.”

You have to, like, so, so there's times where it's like, she's like crying and I'm like, Dad, please come upstairs. And I'm like, downstairs and like, you can't, you can't go up. You know, and it's the worst feeling. Because you want to run, it's, you know, she's like, but you know it's a trap. It's a trap. But like, but also she's cunning. Like, she'll, she's still, she'll say shit that she knows you're going to tug at my heartstrings. I'd have to ignore her crying. And she'll

start saying stuff like, Dad, please, Dad, I, I need you. I miss you. Like, you know, like, the ship is leaving the shore just things that she's seen. And you're like, I'm like literally,

like, downstairs, like, she doesn't seem even like right under the door. And me and my wife said

there, I'm just like, I got tears in my eyes. Like, I need to go, you know, you can't. It's tough. It's tough. So panning. Yeah. So yeah, you got to really like, I guess you have to be the dad. You have to, you have to, you have to be the leader, huh? And sometimes you do, you want to just be the, the, the, the, the, the buddy. I want them to be able to like, they want to, like, should back, please, can I come sleep with you guys? I want to, I want to, I want to hard to do that so bad,

but like, we can't do it because like it opens up, you know, like then it's like, you know, oh, yeah. But some, I know families sleep, they're all the kids sleep in the bed and nuts that, but like, you know, it could be tough. Like, if you have work and travel a lot and stuff again. Yeah. So if you're not a little house in the prairie, then that's kind of like back then, yeah, you need it for warmth and stuff and it's like that. Yeah. But I want to do it, but I,

I'm so far we haven't done it because I just feel like I don't want to stop bad habits, you know, but and is it tough with like, you, with your wife, you did a bait on what a good habit, and bad. I like is it, is it, are you guys competing? I want you same page. It's pretty, it's pretty, it's pretty straightforward. You know, like, but, uh, yeah, it's a, you're going to, you want kids? Yeah. Yeah. We talked about this on like, you should have kids. Yeah, I'm going to

want them. If you do, like, if you want kids, have kids. You know, like, I think I, I mean, I think the most you can get to is like, I think I want them. I really, I like, nobody's like, if you're like yelling in the park or whatever, I want kids, you're going to go, you know, or you're going to get elected. But if you're just like, yeah, but so I think the safest thing I say, yeah, I think I really like to have kids. I have to have a spouse that is

like, we can go down that road together. Um, and then, you know, some of it, I think it's like, if that's going to be part of, if God wants that for me in my life, you know? And if I'm willing to set my life up enough where it's a possibility, because God, I don't think he would, he would bless me with children if it wasn't like a safest environment, either, you know? Sure. I,

“I think you should do it. I would tell you that. But yeah, I would like to have, I think more and more,”

I would like to have that. Yeah. You know, I would like to have the chance to love something that's different and have like a new different type of like connection in the world, you know? Just to experience what connections there are, because I'm sure it's like totally different. I mean, last time I hear you were saying just how different it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got to do it. You got to do it, especially if you want them, because it's nothing

better. You'll be, you'll feel so fulfilled, man. Yeah. Yeah, you'll feel so fulfilled. And I want probably six or five kids, bro. I know. That's, it's like, when you start having them, you see, or yeah, you'll see like you won't, you want as many as possible. That's why people just keep having them. Two, then the old days, man, people have them with reckless abandon. Bro, people would have a kid. They're like, oh, we're like kids. They get the story with

leave a kid. They have to come back A, we love a kid and you're a shell forever. Yeah, some kids in the free. He's every just like, yeah, people used to have kids back in the day, so many kids that like, some of them would just like perish. Parish. And then they were just like, I, we lost a couple of them. Yeah. You know, Albert stayed and still have ten of them, but we lost a couple. Yeah. Albert stayed in Mankato. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't. Yeah. He stayed behind it off.

Yeah. We hope he's all right. I don't know. We want it off from Rochester. We can't look at it,

“bag of food with them. You know, you're like, how do you focus on it? How many still is your?”

I just had one, two, three, four, three total. Okay. What do you have? Besides me, three. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fun amount. Yeah. You show your family, you're a four of you guys, so yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. If you could go back and be a kid, what's one moment you would go back to when you're child, like, uh, was it like a birthday party or a time or like, it could just be a general. It doesn't have to be a specific either. Yeah. Like, what was like the funnest holiday you

guys had or something? Was there one that was just going on in my grandma, my grandma was Christmas and like all the cousins would come over and that was fun because she had like his really old house.

That was a two family with a big basement and a big old attic. Yeah. And we always to go up in the

attic and cause like high jinks and hide and shit and like I just like that, those those days with the best days. Well, you could just like run around the house playing hide and seek and like

like you know anything yet. I just about playing hanging out, you know, I know. I had to work.

Yeah. It seemed like it should be able to be such a simpler world. And that's the thing out. I think it's me a lot. It's like, hang on the woods. Yeah. Like, like when I was young, there was like it was so much less like underdeveloped. Oh, and they were just like, watch out the woods everywhere. Oh, it was made of American shit. You know, the guy chiseled a fucking couple of tits in a, you know, into a birch tree or whatever. You have somebody, you know, there was like a grave somewhere.

Somebody just buried somebody. And just buried somebody. Like the woods used to be crazy bro. Cause you see some guy been living there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There'd be some pornography or whatever. Yeah. Oh, it's somebody buried pornography, but they, you know, they draw like an arrow. It's like,

“yeah. So they didn't forget what it was. It's like dude. That's what I saw for by first”

porn. I was in the woods. Oh, everybody, which is crazy. Rubble, you write there with nature.

Dude, oh, dude, I'm on the first time I'm asked to be a bro. I didn't even know what was

going to happen with like your body. And I remember like something kind of like kind of came out out of my body. And I remember trying to put it back into my penis with my finger. Yeah. And I heard my mom like downstairs and I was like trying to get it all back in before. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So yeah, I was like, yeah. So obviously, yeah, I had a lot of intimacy issue. So yeah, it's for us. Well, let's get this question. Let's get this answer in the early 1800s.

Let me see, over the past three centuries, the average number of children per women in most of the world is decline sharply. Roughly from five to seven kids per women in their early 1800s to 2.25 for kids per woman today in many countries. I think it's the best in that now. Yeah. I think I've read something like, people are having the least amount of kids history right now. Maybe there'll be a rebirth of it. You know, maybe there will be

something new that happens. Do you feel like, I feel like, you know, I don't want to get into like import like heavy stuff today, but there's just like it feels like it's a tough time in the world for a lot of people. Do you imagine like octomum? You like you have eight babies in your stomach. You get, you get birth to eight babies at the same age. Oh, that's times dark shit. Look at and look at that thing. She had on a bro. It's like whenever you ever see that spider

that's got the big thing on it. Like it's pregnant. Yeah, that's wild, bro. Imagine you have no kids and then you have eight kids. Yeah. Oh, you already have like five kids. Oh, my god. Are you serious?

“Just watch the documentary on how do you, how do you give the time you need to each of these kids?”

Yeah, what do you do when you, you want people like like, like guess what, twins and they're like, oh my god, two, how are we going to do this? Like eight, bro. How do you even, how do you even, what's the first thing you do when there's eight, there's eight, two-day old babies, you know what they're the first thing they're like, homogaches. Like you like literally just have to like check the batteries on all of them. Holy shit. Dude, get you some ice coffee,

cool coffee, ice coffee. You have a time ago. You have a time ago, you have a time ago, actually.

No, I never had one. Do you remember that? Oh, I do remember them and it didn't hit us super hard.

Yeah, I was a little older. We weren't in like a lot of the age and kind of stuff that much. We was like doing whole coke and type of shit. Dude, I remember I had to do a roast of this of the naughty assuley man who was the octamom who had you have to. Who had eight children who was kind of a celebrity for a while? Or not a celebrity? I mean, everybody's kind of a celebrity these days. But she was like kind of in the limelight or whatever, you know? Yeah. For that. Yeah.

You roasted her? We had a roaster. And dude, I remember I got there and I thought we found everything and you get there. You know, like, oh, this feels, there's part of it that feels really mean. Oh, really? Do you remember ending the jokes? I mean, they were eat, I mean, yeah. Some of them were probably good and some were probably not good. What, what, what's an error with she being wrote? Why was she being wrote? It was just a, it was the Ha Ha comedy cafe over there

in a club. There. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of overwhelming self-language from I think. But um, yeah, Jack Jr. his family over there. It's their club. It's a great spot. Yeah. I've done some stuff. Yeah. And so um, but they had the roast of her there and that way. And it was other people were on the, the day as for the docket or whatever. And it's just like, it was interesting. It was fun. Yeah. But it was also like there was a mummy like, oh, this is me because they're sitting right there.

And you think like, the kids were there? Oh yeah, bro. It's like eight kids just staring at you rip on them. I mean, crazy. Oh, she was there. She was there. But it was just kind of a lot bro. And I couldn't tell she was trying to flirt with everyone. I was like, I'm getting out of here.

“You know, yeah, you can't, you can't even, you need to wear two condoms. Oh, I wouldn't even”

sleep for a bit. You guys, yeah, you can't even sneeze. I wouldn't even let an eyelash fall out of my hair. You're next to you. No, you have eight children. Oh, and blessings to our children. Let's get a gander out of my one of them. And who knows, now she made, you know, I can't imagine what

good. Yeah, they look like they all like they look like they weren't one of eight. Yeah, they look like

they were their own. Imagine how that's got to be to break out of like, you know, well, I mean, how much could they have weighed when they were born? Yeah, you got eight kids in there. You got eight kids. I probably, I would guess how much they weighed. Let's guess. And we'll, and we'll weight you ever wins. What's the price? Uh, I don't know. Do something for like, uh, moon research or whatever,

“$30 towards moon research. It took to moon research. Yeah. I think it's just, it's probably going to end”

up to somehow going to Israel, but we'll just, we'll call it moon research. I think, um, you know,

well, you got to size eight. If there are, there's no way she can be just, this is a good game show question. There isn't, yeah, it is, right? There's no way she'll be walking around with the average kid when they're born. It's like six, seven pounds, right? So there's no way she's walking around with 50 pounds of kids in there. Right. Yeah, that's, that's a lot. Now, look at the, you can get a gander at it right there when she got that front really launched and net there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, crazy.

Oh. So I'm going to say, I'm going to say they were about, they had to throw up my three and a half

“pounds each something. Okay, you want three and a half. I'ma go, I'ma go, yeah, three point one five.”

That's, that's still crazy. That's still 20 something pounds of kid and all you're right. You're right. Yeah, that's crazy. But they can't be much less than three pounds. I'm going to 2.2. All right, 2.2, which means for eight kids, she's still holding around 17 pounds. Yeah, 17 pounds. 17 like that's, 2.2 is a small kid. Well, does it, if we find out, 3.4. Oh, no way on the Solomon Octop, Octopulitz before Octopulitz born on January 26, 2009, weight between one pound,

eight ounces and three pounds for ounces. Oh, that's doubled the other kid. Yeah, one pound, eight ounce kid is wild, bro. That's wild. When were they born? 2009, that's about 24 years of this, Amy and Sue Shagman got married. Hey. Yeah, I'm comfortable with this, Amy.

And maybe we wish to meet, million more years if you ever get to meet with them and I want to

see the, I want to see the tape. Oh, I want to see the tape. Oh, of you guys meeting up together. So you got a mnush, your new show, mnush is a foul play foul play is on the TV. Yes, you can check it out with Anthony Davis. And he's, he's in every episode. Yeah. Okay, great. He's in every up and all of the athletes and stars and stuff like that. And yeah, my on tour. So I will count on comedy.com for tickets. Got up to June announced, but I'm going to be doing all of Canada and October.

And I'm going to be doing UK in Europe in 2007. Yeah. And then probably come back and get the last few cities I haven't gotten to here, maybe film this next special, maybe embossed and something like that.

“I love Boston. Yeah. Do you think your family will go hit the road with you?”

I'm going to try to maybe take them out to the UK. Yeah. Yeah. Visit Ari out there and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that should be fun. And then, uh, yeah. And then what else? I guess, yeah, Jocers will be out starting July. I'll be season 13. It's crazy. Well, um, you guys can find everything. We'll share all the links, man. And we'll share everything for you dude. And so thanks for coming and just spending time with us and of course. It's kind of cool. I love you too, man.

And thanks for this. Tell us about the shanklings and just let's find them. I can't wait. Yeah. I got to look. We got to, you're going to help me find them. Amy and Stu, the shanklings. They're looking for you. Um, all right. Blessings, bro. Thank you so much. Got it, baby. When I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine. I found I can see it in my bones.