We say "So long!" to Kristi Noem and Benetti plays ball

Investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at Hewlett.org. From NPR and WDB easy Chicago, this is Wait Wait, no tell me the NPR news quiz.

I'm the boy, so powerful. I come in the clock to spring forward.

I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Student Baker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter. Say go. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody.

“I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that after this last week, I am ready for some baseball.”

And that is why I'm very excited to tell you that later on, we're going to be talking to the new voice of Sunday night baseball on NBC, Jason Bonetti. Now. Jason has a lot in common with Pope Leo. This is true. Both grew up in Chicago as Waitsox fans and Jason also speaks with the authority of God.

But first, it will be your turn to take the field. Give us a call, play our games at One Triple 8,

Wait Wait, that's one 888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener, contestant, hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Warbron and I'm from Cyprus Tech. Hey, Laura, so what do you do there in Cyprus, Texas? I'm a high school English teacher. Are you really? Yes.

I of course, as you can imagine, was very fond of my high school English teachers.

“You have to be careful because if you encourage them, they may go into public radio.”

And be public radio listeners. That's true. Well, thank you for, yes. Thank you for making listeners for us. We very much appreciate it. Well, Laura, welcome to our show. Let me

introduce you to our panel. First up, he's the host of the Daily Podcast TVTL and the public

radio variety show Livewire, which will be live at Hopscotch in Portland on Wednesday, March 11. It's Luke Burbank, hey, Laura. Next up, it is a proud and freaked out Iranian, who's worrying about her family back home. It's Nagin Farsal. Hello. Hi. Hi. It's so great to meet you. I am freaked out about my family in Iran and I hope for the best outcomes for everybody. And I'm just, you know, turns out not to be controversial here, but I hate war. Whoa, man.

“Yeah. Got to be careful of taking those politically stances. And finally, a comedian who'll be”

headlining the Alaska before you die festival. And I encourage Alaska on Friday, April 3rd. It's Harry Kunderboulou. Hey, Laura. Hi. Welcome to the show, Laura. You're going to play who's built this time. Bill Curtis is going to start us off with three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain, just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your

voice mail. You ready to go? Ready. All right. Your first quote is from a Department of Homeland Security employee who was talking on the down low to the Daily Mail Thursday about a big shake up this week. Crowds who celebrated lots of phone calls, texts, people stopping by to celebrate. So people at the DHS were apparently rejoicing that who is no longer their boss, Kristino. Kristino. Oh, a lot of fans in the room. What a warm sendoff. She'll be grateful. I mean,

they're not replacement or with Obama, just as a heads up. Yeah, and it's like not getting better. On Thursday, the president fired DHS secretary Kristino and a heartfelt run-on sentence (laughter) It's so unfair, though. I mean, she was fired with no warning when it happened. She was actually delivering a speech somewhere. I mean, a better for face could make expressions. It would have looked really sad. Trump has announced that he is going to give her a new job.

She will be, quote, "the special envoy for the shield of the Americas." Unquote. May not know what that is. Oh, you guys are like booing because you don't think she's fit to be the envoy to the shield of the Americas. Is that your problem? You're like, oh, wow, no. That job needs somebody qualified. I don't think. Anyway, if you don't know what that job is, it is the position you get if you did a really bad job running homeland security, but you still know too much about

over the next weeks and months. It would be like Marco Rubio, the new ambassador to Genovia.

“I also wonder how she's going to look back at her time at DHS because it honestly,”

for her, it was sort of just like a spring break. You know what I mean? She like hooked up with a new guy. You know what I mean? She was like on camera a lot, like posing, you know, do it. So I mean, she probably did a lot of body shots off her, you know. I'm from Portland and of course, she showed up at the Ice Facility in Portland and staged this hilarious event, which is she stood on the roof, like surveying, like Antifa Hellscape, which had at that moment of

the day, like four people, including a guy in a chicken suit. We don't remember who was just looking at her kind of, like, perplexed. That guy still has his job. That's true. He's in the chicken suit outside of the Ice Facility right now. And she does it. Yeah. The chicken guy won. No. Zero. All right, Laurie, your next quote is from somebody revealing some exciting news. I'm going to get double jaw surgery in a couple of weeks. That was Braden Peters, known to the online world as

Clevvicular. He is one of the leaders of my movement called Looks Maxing. If you look Max, you prioritize what? Over everything else. Your physical appearance? Yes. Quote looks Maxing is a growing trend among young men obsessed with improving the appearance of every part of their body, including, quote, "soft Maxing," that's diet or exercise, quote, "hard Maxing," that's getting surgery. And all of this phenomenon is also known as, quote,

"a mental health crisis." Can I just take a step back for a second and just say,

"Welcome to all of these gentlemen who are joining the world of impossible beauty standards, that women have been inhabiting for centuries?" Welcome to rampant insecurity. And now do earn less for doing the same work. Let's do that one. And can I also just say that, like, I thought, like, we were going to achieve equality by women doing better. Yes. But this way, if men do worse, I guess that's also a way we can do equality. Yeah. All the men took, you

like, is it a challenge? We can be that challenge. Yeah. I've been thinking about it. It's really racist white point nonsense when you think about it. Because all their images of what

“handsome is is white with certain, like, European features. Right. Like, that's what they're”

basing everything. Yeah, European features like sharp cheekbones, racie tattoos. But it's also like, it completely forgets the idea that, like, white people aged terribly. We all know this. Good black, don't crack. Good brown, don't frown. Good white. That doesn't exist. Yeah. See, Harry? See, this is where I think you may be your, your vision on this is a little short. So, there's no way curricular is a living past 30. That's how it's living.

Yeah. So, because you got to understand something, this has nothing to do with health. It's just a parent. So, they're obsessed with plastic surgery and supplements. Supplements like, and this is true, crystal meth. Because when I think crystal meth, I just picture a beautiful face with normal, still present teeth. All right, Laura, your last quote is a declaration from Pope Leo the 14th, just this week. The brain needs to be used. The pope was commanding all the Catholic priests around the

world to stop using what to write their weekly sermons. As an English teacher, I'm so on his side, that chat GTT. Yes, chat GTT, AI chat bots. Apparently priests were using AI to write their

“sermons for them. Why do they need to do that? Writing sermons is their one job, right?”

Their weekly schedule is just write the sermon and have dinner with a widow. I mean, I feel like if I was the priest, I would make the argument that God created us, so we created the AI, and who are we to not enjoy its bounty? Exactly. And free up more time for dinners with grieving widow. Exactly. That was unpersuasive to the pope, I guess.

No, apparently not. He didn't buy it. Well, the problem is if you think about it from the post-verspective,

it's a violation of trust, right? Because what if priests start using AI for everything they're supposed to do? You're like, you go into the booth, you're like, "Father, before I tell you my confession,

I just say, "Those are getting harder." Yeah, they're really on, and, like, my failure rate on

captions is shockingly high these days. I mean, did they run out of the EC1 style? It's like, is this one micrometer of the crosswalk count as part of the street? It's really true.

“Chans laid this from the ancient Greek. No, no, no. Bill, how did Laura do in our quiz?”

Laura did not hesitate to give us all three correct answers. Well done, Laura. Congratulations, take care. Thank you so much. Take care, bye bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, Washington State residents were shocked this week. To find out that when they called a state office and pressed two for Spanish, they heard what? English delivered with a quote unquote Spanish accent. That is exactly right. It turns out

that for the last few months, if you called the Washington State Department of Licensing, it's got the voicemail. Press two to hear your options in Spanish. This is what you would hear. Thank you for calling the department of Licensing Department of Licensing. For assistance,

“we'd give you another either licensing of this appointment. Please, press one.”

If you press five, she tells Lucy, no, she can't be in the show. And this is also to hear the only Spanish words that this bot says are numbers.

So finally, a job for someone who got their Spanish degree from Sesame Street.

Coming up, our panelists, just take a break. All one chivalet, wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more, wait, don't tell me if we're next to you. This message comes from wise, the app for international people using money around the globe. You can send, spend, and receive an up to 40 currencies with only a few simple taps. Be smart, get wise, download the wise app today, or visit wise.com,

tease and seize apply. Support for NPR and the following message come from the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at Hewlett.org. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the wait, wait, don't tell me, the listener game call, one triplet, wait, wait to Blair game in the air.

How you were on wait, wait, don't tell me. Hello, this is Heather. I'm calling from Brooklyn, Indiana. Brooklyn, Indiana, we were just in Indiana. I didn't see you. I did see me. I actually got to ask you a question in the Q&A session in. That's, I'm a little embarrassed. That could not have gone worse.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'm voice blind. Heather, welcome back to the show. You're going to play our game on which you

“must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Heather's topic?”

I call her time out. Now, you better have a good reason if you call a time out in the middle of a game, and sorry, stopping to check on all the bets you placed in yourself is not a good enough excuse. This week we're at about a surprising, made the game time out at a competition. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize. The wait, wait, wait, or if your choice in your voice mail, you ready to play?

Yeah, I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Harry, Kunderboulou. A hockey game in Muddy River, Minnesota was stopped during the second period after a Zamboni lost control, leaving players and fans running for their lives. The runaway machine was a new driverless model, and was purchased when former driver Steve Burman was fired after driving the Zamboni drunk, which apparently is a crime in Minnesota.

He got a ZUI. Town officials say the mistake may have come from the Zamboni software developer,

David Star, a man they hired, who was good at software, but had never seen a hockey game in his life.

like it was in the action and the guys played against it.

“The town has decided to hire a human Zamboni driver who will not drink beer while operating the”

machine. So far, the search has proved futile. And out of control, self-driving Zamboni disrupts a hockey game in Minnesota, your next sports stoppage time comes from a Luke Burbank. Soccer is a hard enough sport considering they don't let you use your hands, but things got even more challenging recently out of playoff match in Turkey when goalkeeper Muhammad, Buyanik, sent a ball soaring into the air only to watch it absolutely obliterate a Siegel,

who happened to be flying by. The bird fell out of the sky and onto the turf and wasn't moving, which is when Buyanik's teammate, team captain Gani Katan came to the rescue, stopping the game, which is something they don't even do when a person gets hurt. He ran onto the field and

“knelt by the bird's side. Then in a move, they could only be described as "doctor doodle" meets the pit.”

Katan started aggressively doing CPR on the lifeless bird. And not for like three seconds, but for a long time. Was it a good idea? Unclear, but did it work? Apparently, the bird is reportedly doing well recuperating from an injured wing and congrats to ever bet $1,000 on draft kings that someone would almost kill a bird during the match. They were, of course, the big winner. A soccer game in Turkey stopped.

When a bird injured by a flying ball is revived by a caring team captain, your last time out tail comes from the Gine far-sad. The basketball league of Manhattan's West Village had its annual playoffs at the West Fourth Street courts on Saturday. The team

“of investment bankers, who called themselves the i-ballers, were playing against a team of”

bodega owners, the bodunka dunks. Normally, these games are on eventful just a bunch of middle-aged

men acting like they aren't afraid of injury, but never less moving very slowly.

But tonight, there was a man in the bleachers rumored to be an NBA scout. So these basketballers of a certain age went hard. In the first ten minutes, it wasn't an exhilarating game onlookers were wild by their speed and a lacquerity. But on minute eleven, Gerald Millaband of JP Morgan Chase gripped his torn ACL and took the bench. By minute 15, Jimmy Torres screamed at a torn meniscus and took the bench. By the end of the first quarter of the ten players, six of them had

serious injuries, including torn ACL, MCL, ruptured Achilles, and hamstrings. In a show of inter-team spirit, however, they did share an ambulance to the hospital. Oh, and turns out that NBA scout was just a guy wearing a suit. All right. So here are your choices. A game stopped somewhere for what reason was it from Hurricane Boulou, a Zamboni, self-driving itself, goes berserk and destroys a hockey rink in Minnesota. From Luke Burbank, a soccer game in Turkey

is interrupted when a Burd is injured and then must be saved or from the game far-sought of basketball game in New York City ends when the corporate types trying to impress somebody all managed to destroy their lower bodies. Which of these was the real story of a game that stopped

prematurely. We found in the news. I can never guess these right. So maybe the Seagull

story is the right one. Maybe. Maybe. All right. You're going to choose maybe. You're going to choose Luke's story of the Seagull. Well, we spoke to someone with some expertise on the real story. Maybe he did save the bird's life. Maybe the bird stopped breathing and that's what brought it back. That was Dr. Semperstein. That was Dr. Semperstein, an exotic veterinarian in the Bay Area on the Seagull that was resuscitated in the middle of a game in Turkey. Congratulations,

you got it right, Heather. Oh, thank you. We're in the point for Luke and we'd want our prize, the voice of your choice in your voice, ma'am. Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much for playing Heather. And I guess at this rate, we'll see you next week. Bye. Another game where we ask experts about something about which they have no expertise. It's

called not my job. Jason Benetti grew up in Chicago and in the third grade, Rodin Essay, which he said

He must also have dreamed back then about being the National Voice of Baseball for NBC Sports because he got that job this week. Jason Benetti. Welcome to Wait wait don't tell me. Essay is a bit of a stretch. Essay is a bit of a stretch. So we obviously, this is part of your

“legend, which I think people here in Chicago know, maybe now they'll know it across the nation.”

But it is true that you were in the third grade White Sox fan, right? Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, you said I want to be, I want to be Hawk Harrelson, the broadcaster for the White Sox. I actually did what people don't know is I wrote 50 of those. Really? One was I'd like to be a district attorney. One was I'd like to flip burgers and we just unearthed whichever one I got the job for. You really, you're, you're, you got to be ready for anything at Baseball Games. Exactly. You, you started broadcasting if I'm not mistaken, you're high school band competitions,

marching band competitions. That's right. You, if you're listening on the radio, you can't see my stature. But I think like, um, wispy and frail covers it. Yeah, right? And I, you know, as, as somebody

“with a mild case of cerebral palsy, the, the marching with the tuba that I selected as my instrument”

case was a horrendous idea. So the first band director in middle school made me the drum major. Right. So my job was to keep time with my gate. Right. Which was a, a terrible idea. Right. So then in high school, they moved that to we're going to put the tuba on the field and you'll march in place while everybody else goes in planetary orbit around you. That didn't go great either. So the band director said, why don't you go upstairs and announce

the band's set. So coming up next wheels of a dream from ragtime or whatever it was. And it was, it was the first time I was behind a microphone. So thanks to to Bill Jastro, if Homewood Floss, more high school for, for all this. There you are. And, and you eventually got the job of the white socks, and you broadcast them for many years, and you left right before they recorded the worst record in the modern era for a baseball team.

You went to the Detroit Tigers and they, whoa, whoa, and they made an amazing,

they're saying Luke. Yes. And they made an amazing unexpected run right to the playoffs that year.

“It was you, wasn't it? I, I think just yes. Yes, they clinched against the white socks,”

which is a funny, full circle sort of thing. Really? Yeah. I know you had to like, you spent years on the road, minor league baseball, high school basketball. Do you remember like the most obscure sport or game you ever had to broadcast? So a couple of years ago, I got a phone call from somebody here in Chicago and they said, hey, we're looking for somebody to do play by play and post production from a studio of the National Electricians Championships.

I'm sorry, what? Correct. So it had all this. Say, you were going to call the neckies?

You know, Vince Skulley used to call the neckies without a partner. It was amazing. It's time

for afraid wires been used to say. What, what in the world was the National Electricians Championships? Yeah, yeah. So it was on tape already. So I didn't have the, um, the excitement of life, the zest, the sizzle, I guess, of the, I'm very careful about how I talk about this though, because when we were in the studio, they, they said, okay, to start, just go off-screen. There's a whole script and my analyst was the electrician from this old house.

Scott Karen was on Bob Villas this old house. So we just did one run through straight ahead through the script. And then the second time they said, okay, let's do a bunch of adlips. So going to the final break, I said, come back with us. We'll crown a champion, sparks will fly. And I just thought of that off top of my head. Wow, that's talent. You're not going to believe. A guy from the electricians championship group, the conglomerate that was staging the show,

came in and said, you can't say that. Yeah. Or just. And I said, well, why? He said, well, that would be bad craftsmanship. And so he said, do it again, do it again. So we, we do it again. And I say, uh, coming up next, we'll crown a champion, sparks won't fly. And the guy comes walking in again. And this is his job. Right. Yes. You're coming in and tell me what adlips don't work.

why am I here? If neither of those works. Why am I here? One last question. I'm pretty sure,

unless something happened in the end of last season, I miss that you have not settled on a signature home run call. I've not. Well, do you feel that now you will be the NBC Sunday Night Baseball voice of the game that it is time to pick one? I do. And I think we have the perfect panel up here for it. Yes. If they care to offer suggestions for a home run call. How about bye-bye ball? In that exact moment. Bye-bye ball. Bye-bye ball. Bye-bye. By-bye. See, normal. This is why this show

is great. Normally, normally, when somebody offers me a home run call, they offer me only the language portion. But you did the tone as well. Well, I think it makes the motif.

“You have to say it like a six-year-old. Well, Jason Benetti, it is a pleasure to have you here,”

have you back home in Chicago. But we have asked you here to play our game. We are calling. Jason Benetti, here's some confetti. We're going to ask you about confetti. That's the word that used to mean little sweets. And now means a huge mess. Answer two or three questions. Correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill, who is Jason Benetti playing for.

Tim Hudson of Washington, D.C. All right. Here's your first question. One of the biggest confetti

drops each year is in Times Square in New Year's Eve, and more than 3,000 pounds of confetti is dispersed all over. But that can sometimes lead to what problem. A, the confetti canons are so big. They can trigger an earthquake warning in the area. B, the confetti explosions can spook thousands of pigeons all at once, leading to a giant shower of bird poop on the revelers, or see. Sometimes after the event, many people are suffering from a medical condition called

“confetti arm. You were vague enough that I think confetti arm is real. That's true. It is real.”

Because you see, there are no confetti canons or dispensers, all the confetti thrown into Times Square

are thrown by hand, all 3,000 pounds of it. And the man in charge says the repetitive motion of

throwing the confetti can lead to quote confetti arm. Here's your next question. Confetti can be made of a lot of things paper plastic, even sometimes gold, but parade gores at the 2012 Macy's Thanksgiving day parade were surprised when they found out that the confetti that day was made of one. A, newspaper ads for Walmart, B, shredded police documents, some of which included the names of undercover police officers or sea slices of turkey. So when I was in the miners,

my broadcast partner was Kevin Brown of the Baltimore Orioles. He's at TV announcer in Major League Baseball as well. We would drive to games and listen to wait wait. And quite often, we would say, "I hope it's B." And so I get to on the show say, "I hope it's B." It was B. Yes, yes. Apparently, someone looked at a confetti, piece of confetti stuck to a friend's coat and says, "Why does that confetti of someone's social security number on it?" All right. You've

changed for a perfect game. Confetti canons, or a popular feature, that shows and concerts, not in Times Square. But the band, bad omens, stopped using theirs after a show in Melbourne, Australia. Where what happened? The canons suffered a glitch, where instead of going off at the end of a song, they fired off randomly all night. Be when the canons went off, the confetti knocked a bunch of ceiling tiles loose,

which fell on the audience's heads, or see someone stuck a balloon in the barrel, causing the canon to explode. I'm going to say that it was A and it was firing all night. No, afraid it was actually B again. Oh, I hope it's B. Yeah, Kevin out there, we're shouting. I hope it's B. It was B. The next night after the title incident, the lead singer of the band said from the stage quote, "A moment of silence for the victims of the ceiling panels." Not a joke,

shut up. I heard that they're all here tonight. Everyone that was hit by the ceiling tile,

“if you were. Where am I tile guys at? What do you expect from a band called Bad Omen?”

It's true, yeah. They're not called good diplomacy. That's right. Bill, how did Jason Benetti do in our quiz? Two hits have a three, put you on base? You're a winner. There you are. Jason Benetti is a sportscaster in the new voice of Sunday night, baseball on NBC. You can hear them all this season. Jason Benetti, thank you so much for joining us on "Way Way Don't Tell Me."

In our listener-learn-rich challenge, call 1-triple-late-weight-weight to join us on the air.

“We'll be back in a minute with more of "Way Way Don't Tell Me" from NPR.”

From NPR, "Way Way Don't Tell Me" the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, "Hari Gundabalu" and the game far-side and here we get to your host at this two-to-back earth theater and Chicago with an oil and Peter's. Thank you. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, we fulfill our enforced limb-rich quota. It's our listener-lemmer

challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-triple-late-weight-weight, that's 1-888-9-2-4-8-9-2-4. Right now, a panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Again, according to New York Magazine, more and more parents are worried about whether or not who likes them. More and more parents are what they're on children. Not their own children. That's a lost cause, again.

Other school parents. Not the parents. The principal. Not the principal. The teacher. No, it's not the, let me give you a hint, let me give you a hint. The building? No. What do we say? I give you a hint.

“I'll give you a hint. You're like, "Oh, go, no, you have to wear something nicer than that."”

Henry's coming over for a play date. Oh, the friends of the your kids? Yes, your kids' friends. Apparently this is a big anxiety. According to the cut that's a section of New York Magazine. It's normal to worry your kids, friends are judging you because they are. There's nothing you can do about it. If you try to hard, you're like the mom from Mean Girls. You're going to try it all and they're like,

"What the hell? No snacks, lady." Can I just say in response to the cut? I'll give up. What does kids think of it? Really? Mike, my daughter's friends. They should be so lucky to have me in the room. Come on. Also, don't flatter yourselves. I don't want to be around you guys at all, don't play. Really? Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you don't say. You know,

you have a daughter from rights. And you don't send your daughter's friends home. They can pick up, they go home and you don't think to yourself, she's going to go home and compare me to her mom and I'm going to look pretty good. And I will spend as much money at this red robin as I

have to to prove that. This is so you're, yes, so like I'm basically mugging the mom of their mom.

No, I don't, I, I, I just mostly am like, I don't want there to be any injuries or anything like that. So there's like a report of like this mom let an injury happen. So that's like mostly, that's it. That's really, that's it. Just as long as there are no felonies. Yeah, or like, and like I don't want them to be like, I'm hungry because they didn't feed us like that's it to get those are the two things.

“Right. Basic needs. What would impress a five-year-old like what a blue-y t-shirt and some shorts?”

Like what is it? What is a five-year-old looking for an adult to look like? And what, what kind of uncool adult would that make you? You mean in order to appeal to a young kid, whatever their sensibility is, when the other adults see you, they'll be like, is this person okay? Right, right. It's also a little creepy. Yeah. Are you dressed like a child? Yeah. But it also like, why are you even trying to spend time with us? Like we're gonna play now. You go.

Leave now. Yeah. Look, the CEO of McDonald's put out a video of himself trying their brand new burger, the big arch burger, the video went viral because of the way the CEO did what?

Appear to have literally never eaten a McDonald's burger in his life. That's right. Specifically

because of his tiny, tiny bite he took. Chris Campsinski is the CEO of McDonald's and he introduced their new big arch burger by posting a video of himself with one. And after describing how great it was, he lifts it to his mouth and kind of pecks it, right? It's not clear. He actually makes contact with it with his teeth. It's like the air kiss of eating. Like, did anyone ever notice that the CEO lack to the fundamental burger charisma required for the job? I wonder if they told

him to take a bigger bite in off-camera. He's like, I'm not going to eat this crap. Yeah. You know what's in here?

rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call it live a message at 1 AAA, wait wait, that's 1 8 8 8 9 2 4 8 9 2 4.

“You can see it's most weeks right here at the Student Bigger Theater in downtown Chicago. You can”

also catch us on the road. We'll be in Savannah, Georgia, home of midnight in the garden of good and evil. And one night us, March 26th, we will also be in San Diego in April 30th for tickets a more information to all of our live events go to NPR Presents.org. Hi, everyone, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Eli calling from Royal of Michigan. Well, hello, Eli. We apparently have some Roya lokers. What do you do there? I am a new-ish

lawyer practicing corporate litigation. Corporate litigation. Yeah, I know. Drive your tears Eli with thousands of dollars. It doesn't hurt. Well, welcome to the show Eli. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related lyrics with the last word of phrase missing from each of you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly and two of the lyrics will be a winner.

Here is your first limit. The flow of this journey we must stand. Because the thought of its

taste makes me blanch. They think hidden valley is right up my alley. It's a milkshake that tastes just like ranch ranch has the great the great wolf lodge chain of water park resorts recently announced the new ranch flavored milkshake because people were not pooping enough. The treat, if you will, is made with ice cream ranch seasoning in a stop with carrots, celery, chicken nuggets and whipped cream. The head chef at great wolf lodge developed it through a process

called throwing random things into a blender till the eight in his heart went away. They, if you've been inside a great wolf lodge, it is a violation of the Geneva conventions. But just as is let alone this ranch dressing situation and like you said, the fact that it's a bunch of pools and water slides indoors with adults who have been served alcohol and their children who they haven't seen for hours. Yes. This is a terrible idea. Wait, there's water slides in the

“lodge. Yes, but that's what it is. That's why it's called great wolf lodge. You know, water slide.”

Legally, we can't describe them as water slides. All right, here's your next lemric. In our family, tree chimps aren't distilled, though they cannot make pancakes or whistle, but they open their hearts to the aura of quartz. chimpanzees feel the power of crystal crystal. Yes, it turns out that humans are not the only primates who are suckers for a new age crap. A scientist at a chimps sanctuary offered chimps a

quartz crystal and a plain rock of the same size. In multiple trials, the chimps grabbed the crystal and let the rock sit there, the joke is on them, under the rock was a coupon for a thousand bananas. God, so there as shallow as we are. Apparently, yeah. In fact, the chimps might actually have a better appreciation for crystals than humans do because the chimps at least haven't tried to use them as deodorant. That's a thing. Oh my god, I've used that deodorant.

“We know. It's like the only thing about me that I don't use it all the time. I'm not going”

to defend myself to you guys. Okay, I'm going to stop right there. Here is your last lemric. They said, "Teacup, but he grew real big." He poured out. That's a truth. Not a dig. Now, like charlotte, I know that they eat and they grow. No such thing is a wee little egg. Pig. Yes. Wow. That's our begging people to stop buying what pet stores are calling "Teacup pigs." For the reason that there is no such thing as a teacup pig. It's just a baby

pig and he's about to get a lot bigger. When one vet was asked about teacup pig, she said, "That's not a thing. People are going to be disappointed when those adorable little piglets they thought would stay that way. Grow up to be the size of a top-loading freezer." You know, I live in the East Village of New York City and there was a guy who walked his pig around the neighborhood. Of course, there was. And I, in recent months, I have not seen that guy

and I wonder, is that, is the pet bacon now? You never even got a wonder. You got to do, yeah,

alopecia. Bill, how do you like doing our quiz? Three correct answers, prove that you like,

“you can do better than corporate law. You realize congratulations and thanks for calling.”

Thank you, appreciate it. Now, onto our final game, Lightning Film and the Blankage of Our Players, left 60 seconds in which to answer is many fill in the blank questions as they can, each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Harry and Luke, each have three

neguin, has two. Okay, so that means, that means neguin, you are in second place, so you are

up first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question and fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Ayatola Ali Kamei's son was named the leading candidate to become blanks next Supreme Leader. Right, for the first time since her mom's disappearance, blank returned to the

“today show. Savannah Guthrie. Right, this week, a woman in California filed suit against Meta,”

claiming that blank is knowingly addictive. AI, social media. Social media, Instagram, in this case, according to new data, the average blank account grew by 11% into 2025. Bank account? No, in this case, retirement account, a 401k. This week, customers of a supermarket in Australia, I've complained that the stores new AI customer service chat bot will not stop blanking. No, the chat bot will not stop complaining about its mother, which it does not have because it

is a chat bot. According to a new study, blank medications may indeed help fight addictions. GLP one. Right, on Tuesday, a total lunar eclipse led to 2026's first blank moon. Red moon. Yeah, or the blood moon, a man walking to work in Brazil was being attacked by two wild dogs when he was saved by blank. Really nice wild dog. No, he was saved by his phone, which exploded. One of the dogs tried to bite the man, but instead, bit his phone, which was in

his pocket, the phone exploded, scared off the dogs. It's amazing to think of this guy had a better

phone. He could have been killed. People say there's no reason to get boost mobile. Bill, how did you begin doing our quiz? Come in from behind. She got five right, ten more points, totaled a 12, puts her in the lead. All right. Hurry you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, James Tolerico won the closely-watch Democratic primary for Senate in blank. Texas. Right, citing overwhelmingly negative public feedback,

a meeting to approve Trump's renovations to the blank was delayed. Volroom. Yeah, the White House this week, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutton, I could read to testify, but for the Congressional panel investigating the blank files, I've seen right following their feud with White House AI Chatbot blank became the most popular iPhone app. Anthropologic. I'm going to give it to you. The company's anthropic. Their product

is Claude. Shoppers at an antique store in Upstate, New York made an incredibly rare find in the shelf a blank. Dead Sea Scroll. No, a live, sleeping owl. Hangin out there. On Monday, Apple announced a new cheaper version of the blank. iPhone and the Macbook right on Thursday, Popstar Blank was arrested for driving under the influence. Britney Spears. Yes. This week, a man hoping to get better at chess created his own custom board that blanks him when he makes

a wrong move. Shopping. Yes. The creator of this electrified chess board was tired of losing matches to the chess hustlers at Union Square in New York City, and after a year of shocking himself, we were thrilled to report that he's still losing to the chess hustlers in England Square. It's not a total loss though. Sure, he hasn't mastered chess after being shocked all those times, but at least he's no longer barking at strangers. Bill, how did Harry do in our quiz? 7,

“right. 14 more points. Total 17 puts him in the lead. All right, then how many does Luke need to win?”

7 to tie. 8 to win. Here we go, Luke. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate rejected a resolution that would limit blanks, war powers. The president. Right, Donald Trump. On Tuesday, the White House announced a plan to help lower residential blank costs.

Mortgage costs. Electricity costs this time. This week, Colorado declared their first blank

Trump's blanks are owed refunds. Terrific. Right. According to a new article, tech firms around the

“country are trying to increase productivity by stocking offices with free blank.”

Cots. No tobacco. After receiving some complaints, the theater in London putting on a kid at friendly Peppa Pig shows says they will no longer serve blank at their snack bar. T cup pigs. I'm going to give it to you to answer his bacon. All right, in retrospect, yes, it was kind of weird that kids would watch a show about Peppa Pig and mommy Pig and then go out on the lobby and eat

“cousin pig. But grand, of course, this wouldn't have been the first time kids were faced with”

this particular problem. Think of all those little Arthur fans. The first time they were served

an art of art sandwich. Bill did Luke do well enough to win. He did well for right, eight more points, but his total of 11 falls to Harry's 17. Coming up, our panelists predict well after looks maxing what will be the next big internet beauty trend. Wait wait don't tell me his production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago and association with the

“urgent haircut productions Doug Burman been Neville and Overlord. Philip Gotyka writes our”

Limerics, our public address announcement was Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew always

at the Student Baker Theater. BJ Litterman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills Miles, Norman Boston, Lillian King, special thanks to Mohan Adel Shaky, Monica Hickey, and Travis Hagan. Our prank maxer is Peter Gwyn. Our visual host is Emma Choi, technical direction is Lorna White, her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producers in Chelle again, the executive producer of "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me"

is Mike Danforth. Now, panel what we'll be the next big internet beauty trend, Negeen Farsad. Feet maxing, bunions are cool, so you can now get them surgically added to your feet. Harry Kunderbolo, brain smashing. It's time to get rid of some excess brain cells. Look Burbank, look snacking, where I make a bunch of snacks and I look at the internet to try to figure out what the hell people are doing to their faces. Well, if any of that happens, panel,

we're going to ask you about it on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" Thank you, Bill Curtis, thanks also to the Geen Farsad Luke Burbank and Harry Kunderbolo, thanks to our fabulous audience here. It's a student that is here in downtown Chicago. Thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you might be. I'm Peter Saig, and we'll see you next week! This is NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation,

investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at hulip.org.