#3279 Southern Charm S11E17 Reunion 2 Part One: No Craig to Stand On

Of Shoppy 5.de/recorder. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm just kidding, my man. We've been spreading for a Southern charm last summer.

Last Southern charm of the season. Reunion part two. If you want us on video or you want bonus episodes, which I think next week,

we are going to do our first ever recap of the show we both love called Survivor.

We're going to do last night's episode. It'll come out early next week, just because we were talking about it so much before we started recording. Yeah. I was like, um, we should not be having conversations that aren't recorded.

So please, let's just do a bonus. And so we're going to do a bonus. Let's do a band. Yeah. We're going to do, we're going to do a bonus episode of Survivor.

And it's going to be a proper recap. It's not going to be, it's not going to be a chatty overview.

“Although, but I think it won't be a chatty overview in the future,”

but we're going to do the proper recap of Survivor. Yeah. Not a huge commitment. Yeah. Just waiting in.

But if you guys want that, that'll be a bonus.

So, um, videos, bonus episodes,

ad-free listening. There's a free newsletter. Um, and discord server. All that good stuff. Go over to patreon.com/watchwatch.

Crapounds. And don't you love a short opening? I know. I do today. It is Southern.

I'm trying to say, "What did you try to say?" That we have less. I'm not, that was not a personal thing. That was a, we have less to discuss today. We have less to play today.

It's amazing. It's not a tab on you. My little band. No, it's okay. I'm worthy anyway. It's fine.

It's my lovely wife story.

My lovely wife story. My lovely wife story. I know I know it wasn't. But I'm just saying it's my life story. So I was making a joke about that.

“Because people make fun of me being long-winded.”

They do it? Who? Oh, sedate. I'll tell them off in short form. I'm going to tell them off in abstract ecoming form.

Today, Southern charm reunion part two, which means the end of the season. Wow. What a bang. What a bang I, I have to say.

I don't want to start on a negative note. But of course I will. Like, I feel like this season of Southern charm probably could have ended with the season finale. I found both of these reunion episodes

to be really uninteresting. Was that just me? I didn't know I actually. And I'm not just being argumentative. I did find them fascinating.

Because it's like a steady and human nature of these shows. I mean, really just watching Craig. What a fascinating lose. I mean, just just everything about it. He actually believes what's coming out of his mouth is great.

Does Sally? I mean, you just had a man slut shaming you, saying the meanest things about you, and completely disrespecting you on national television. And what's your response?

I wanna marry him or have his babies. He'd be good daddy. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that desperate to be on television, Sally? Oh my god.

The way I was yelling at my TV. Austin, what a monster. And gets away with it. Like, to me, it's, it's fascinating just watching these animals. I look like that.

I look like that. I got that. I got that. I wore my cat. That's a shirt today.

Yeah, you are. Yeah, upside down cats. Terrified cats.

“Just when Austin's cats are probably like what the fuck?”

Where am I? Oh, there's my image. You don't have my shirt. I think the cats are very confused. I think for me, it's just that there's some really good stuff on Bravo right now.

And it feels like we, I don't know. Like, I just, there's just other things that I'm like side more excited to talk about and sort of have to like pump the brakes and sit here and talk and listen to like, these people just like, I don't know.

Lash it out or, I don't know, hash it out. I don't know. It just is not doing it for me.

And I feel like that's not being promoted at all.

I'm not seeing any promotion for the fact that the valley starts a week from last night. So I'm just excited for a new batch of straight people to come in and have their mess. New batch of straight messy straight people. I am enjoying that two, two shows right now. We're seeing the lead characters kind of get called on their bullshit that we've seen for

years. We've seen it for years with these people, Craig on this show. It's nice to get to watch him get his feet held to the fire and people not back down. And we're starting to see glimpses of it on real housewives of Beverly Hills. So check that out.

People are starting to get sick of Kyle shit, too. And they're seeing all of her games. And I'm loving it. I just feel like it's festivist. I'm like, oh my god, it's like a holiday called I told you so.

I mean, I just, it's the one I will celebrate the most. So I mean, I don't know. I'm enjoying it. That's for the season, not the best season. But you know what?

I'm just going to stay far. Because it's Thursday. And who doesn't love Thursdays? Well, when you're a cat dad. So let's get on with it.

A season 11 episode 17 reunion part two. Craig has just left the stage going, I hate this. I'm not doing this anymore. I don't even want to come back. And then the producers come in and he goes, um,

you guys have been organized vulnerability. Unfortunately. So I'm not going to be vulnerable with you guys anymore. Vulnerability is not a gift. And you've been organized vulnerability.

You have taken vulnerability by the hair and bashed it into a rock and tried to drag it into your cave. Vulnerability is not something that you could just abuse. You fucking faker empaths.

Well, and that it's also crazy that first of all,

he has not been vulnerable at all this entire season. I guess maybe he's alluding to the fact that he said he had some sort of substance or alcohol problem last season.

“Maybe that's what he's trying to say here.”

But like, for him to say you've vilanized vulnerability, while he's one screaming at people while drunk on TV is pretty ludicrous. And if anything, the people who are being vulnerable are the people who are telling him we are scared of you. And I'm scared to tell this to you because I'm inherently scared of you.

But I have to tell you, if anything, that's a bit more vulnerable than you sitting there and being told that you're scary. So sorry, that doesn't work for me. Yeah, so don't we go to Rod, Rigo and Sally in their dressing room. And they're talking about what kind of meat Sally's eating.

It's fascinating. Is it jarrow meat or is it steak? No one really knows. And Sally goes, okay, well, not not dealin' like to eat my ass off. Just stand up.

You hear, jarrow meat in the booty, and then massage your throat. It's not jarrow, it's zero. So we had a sin, FaceTime's for Baby and Brett, which is as boring as it sounds. And then everyone goes back to the stage and Craig's like, this sucks. Oh, hey, what's up, guys?

“And then Andy's like, yeah, how are you doing, Craig's like?”

I just, I did so well, and then I just fucking exploded. And he's like, well, I'm like, not freaking out at all. And I was doing so well.

And this is how, I mean, Craig is basically telling on himself right now,

because he says this a number of times over the course of his episode. I was doing so well, and then I had one mess up. I was doing so well. To me, that reads as, I was doing so well as, presenting a version of myself for America.

And you're basically admitting that you're a fakeer. Yeah, I'd love that he keeps saying, like, oh, my God, I haven't had any kind of a fin, like, two years. And they just all laughed in his face. Even Andy's just like, seriously? Come on, I barely watch this show.

I watched the show on three times speed while I'm doing laundry. Okay. Like, and I know that you freaked out way more than that. So welcome back, okay? Uh, welcome back to the Southern charm season 11 reunion.

I'm your host, Andy Cohen. I have children. Okay, this season Vanita found herself a war with Craig. It's a Vanita segment, everybody. Vanita, a lot to a back.

Okay. But I wanna catch up with you personally. So what about fucking Carl? Are you fucking Carl? You talked about a romance with Carl.

“And she tries to pull what I think is a Sierra.”

And says, well, I think Carl put it dead. She said, well, Carl put it dead in that. We needed a people interview saying that this was an issue. That long distance was an issue and he told them and not me. From my Fred, I mean, I think from what Carl said on a podcast, he went on one date with Vanita.

If they went on one day, it's confusing.

They asked them about it all the time. What's going on? Shockingly, this is not a relationship that I have monitored closely. But, um, yeah, you know, the thing that kind of drives me nuts about Vanita is that. She, when she answers things in a way,

“often trying to be kind of coy, or I think she's trying to be kind of like witty,”

or, or, I don't know, clever. Um, but it's like, just say it. I just wanted to say it. So she can't even say, oh, yeah, I'm not seeing him. I mean, she said, I mean, she does say it here.

She says, I think Carl put a dead head in it because, you know, he's because, um, when she says people, when he did a people interview saying that that this was an issue and he told them and not me. And I was like, what do you mean this was an issue? What do you talk about?

Is it that's the being on Southern Southern House, Southern charm, and summer house? I just want you to just say, sometimes she just speaks so elliptically. And the irony is that I'm not even arranging my own words properly in describing it.

But like, there are a lot of times where, like Andy will say, what's going on with you in Sally? And she'll be like, well, I think Sally can answer that. I think that I'm like, just say, just say she was a fucking bitch or Carl was a pussy or I liked Carl,

but then he spent more time talking to people magazine than me. Like, just save her.

And on one date with Carl and it was never that big of a deal.

Yeah. I feel, I feel like she falls into it and she did it with JT a lot, where it was like she's insinuating that there's something more than there is. And so you leave that thinking, oh, they were, you leave this answer thinking,

if Anita was dating Carl and then Carl basically ghosted her and told people magazine without telling her. When he's saying they went on one date. So she's, she's making it sound like we were, we were dating.

“Her answer is kind of insinuating we were dating, right?”

And she does that a lot. She does do that a lot. And I think Vinita gets a lot of hate from the audience. And probably a lot of it is really problematic and racist, frankly, because she gets so much backlash from the audience that I really don't think she deserves.

I mean I didn't agree with a lot of her coming for, like coming for Craig and an interview and then acting like she was surprised that Craig was mad. You know, there's things like that. But at the same time the backlash from the audience is so disproportionate

to anything that she's done that I hesitate to really even say anything

because yeah, I like that. And I'd like root for her on the show. And I think it must be really hard for her to be the only black cast member on a show in the South with these fucking people. And they haven't made it easy, but I think she also hasn't made it easy on her

soft sometimes and it's just answers like this. I'm like, "I'm like, "I'm Vinita." Yeah, exactly. And so I totally agree. I totally agree that the hate that she gets is totally disproportionate

compared to the things that Craig does for example. But yeah, there are times when I watch her on the reunion and I'm like, "Uh, just answer the question.

“I know you're trying to be cute right now.”

Trying to be cool. I try to maybe even have a moment that sort of like lands is like, like, shade. But it's just like, you're making me have to read between the lines too much. I'm sick of reading between the lines, give me all the lines.

Give me all the text, you know? So we don't want to read. Let's read TV. Yeah, just say exactly what we are. We are Kyle Richards.

We are not sunstruck. We are not reading. Okay. It's time for commercial. It's time for equappins commercial.

So he has her mom. He's like, so it was great to see your mom on the show. How is she? And it's like, that's my girl. It's just, well, yeah, well.

She goes, wait. Was that shade? Was that shade Venena? She goes, well, I said, well, because you said, that's my girl.

And I know why you said that. Just, yeah, because she had my back. Let's say it, man. This is a perfect example. And I know why you said that.

It's like, I can just say, just say it. But Nina, because then Sally is like, yeah, yeah, she had my back. She was, well, she didn't know the full story. So, of course.

And Sally goes, what's the full story then? She goes, anyway. I'm like, this is, this is the exact sort of interaction that Venena does that drives me nuts. Because I am largely on Venena's side with almost all these issues.

But I see her defending herself. So poorly and explaining herself. So poorly. And just not stating the thing that's on her mind. During his reunions year after year.

And I'm just sort of like annoyed with it. I guess I'm real. I'm a real salty, salty podcaster today, aren't I? What? I didn't have coffee, can you tell?

Oh, really? That's not like you. What happened? Well, I had my annual physical later today. And if I have the coffee, my, I feel like my blood pressure

is going to read as higher than it should be. So I'm trying to be like, you know?

down today? I know.

I'll rant about Southern charm and the way Venena answers things.

Oh, yeah. Let the people on Southern charm. So yeah, she's being a base of kind of. She's like, well, I know you might say, but she had my back. Well, she didn't know the full story.

Well, what is the full story anyway? Well, but then why don't we get into it? She's just one answer. So sound Madison goes, well, we're on our way to where? Where are we on our way to?

And Andy's like, yeah. We'll get to that later. So Venena, you were interviewed on several podcasts and asked about Craig's breakup. So we get to the Craig versus Venena thing.

We see a vial files clip vial files, however. And she's asked if she thinks Craig should clear up page cheating.

“And Venena says, yeah, I think you should speak your truth and let it be known”

the same way you're speaking your truth about everything else. And Andy's like, and you must have realized that might upset him. And she's like, yeah, but why didn't he just say I didn't like what you're doing when I heard his feelings, then letting me continue to go from podcast to podcast because I was like, you know, I'm speaking my truth.

And if he corrected me and said, listen, I know you're doing this podcast, but I don't like what you're saying.

Then we could have had a conversation, but that never happened.

Okay, but Venena, you're also the one who came on the beginning of the season and refused to speak to Craig and refused to be anywhere that Craig, what? You know, so you weren't really doing that either when you had a problem. So I don't know. I've always been a little bit on Venena's side with this one because I do think that she is allowed to say, like if the question,

if the situation was that there's rumors that page cheated on Craig and page didn't cheat on Craig and he could have gone out there and stopped those rumors and he didn't. And she's saying, and she based his going on the bio files and saying, hey, like I think that he should speak about that because it's like he's only

to be about his truth, but he's not speaking about all the truth of the situation. I think he should do that. First of all, I don't think that's the biggest crime against humanity. No. And second, if she's especially if you're on a podcast and are asking for your opinion.

But it is kind of funny that she's like, well, I wouldn't have kept on saying to saying this if you just told me that you're upset by it, which is kind of funny because it's like, you know he'd be upset by it, right? Like that is sort of like a little bit of a bullshitty response on her end, but I kind of was laughing at it because that's the sort of thing that Craig would do to someone else.

If you just didn't get that, I would have said that. Something like, I was like, turn about spare play. I'm okay with it. And I agree with you. Like what she actually said wasn't that bad. The way they've been building it up on the show, you would think that she was like, fuck, Greg, he has a tiny dick, he's a fucking compulsive liar,

but she didn't. I thought what she said was pretty fair. But I also think it's fair if you heard that and you're like, well, she's supposed to be on my cast when we're supposed to be friends. And she's basically not taking my side in this breakup, so fuck her. I would get that too. It's just all bad communication.

Like he won't go to Veneta and say, hey, Veneta, you hurt me by saying this, but she won't go to him and say, well, you're hurting me with this. And then it just becomes complete noncommunication. And that's just not very fun on a reality show.

“At some point, you have to have it out. That's the whole point.”

You do. And but the thing is this, and she says this in about five seconds, we've watched for several years how the cast really barely acknowledges Veneta. She's there. She's friends with some of the girls, but like she's just, she's not in the mix.

You know, they like they, we've always noticed this.

We've always observed this and now all of a sudden, Craig demands utter loyalty from her. It just is like you sort of, it's not that like, it's not that people ignore her. It's never as blatant as ignoring her.

But you can just see the outreach that someone like Sally or even Molly receives from like a Craig or or a chef or an austen. Well, actually, I think Austin actually is has a little more relationship with Veneta. But you see the outreach towards some of the other cast members. And then you see it versus Veneta.

And then you're, and then they're like, oh, well, you have to, because you're on southern charm, you have to be part of this, this war against summer house. And we have to rally the troops and you have to have blind loyalty to our cast. And it's kind of like, does she really have to have blind loyalty to you, Craig?

I don't think she really does. I mean, this is what you get. This is what you get. It's not a kind of blind loyalty, but for a reality show,

“you have to have the communication about, you have to have the argument.”

No, I, yeah, I'm not saying for you. I'm just, I'm, I'm just complaining to Craig again, invisible Craig in my mind. No, I just think you're right. And I know some of the stuff is,

uh, some of the stuff with Veneta and the cast. Really, if you're a woman and you're on this cast and they're not fucking you, or they haven't fucked you in the past. Why, they don't have any room for you. That's the only reason the women are here, they're props.

So you had Cameron back in the day who was kind of the voice of reason and no one had had sex with her. And then they had, um,

Take that role, um, uh, Leva kind of take that role for a while. And then the only one I think ever that's had that role besides them, besides Patricia, of course. Is, um, Veneta. I think that's really the only one.

“And I think they're like, what used do we have here?”

If we don't see you as a sexual object or like someone, you know,

like there was a object of our eyeer like Madison will always have a role

because she can take on the kind of Cameron role, but she also has the, the resume sex. I'm having been with us sex forever. And it's gross to say, but it's a gross show. So yeah.

It's this a long way of saying that I think expectations put on Veneta that she has to blindly have Craig's back are really not totally fair. So no, they're completely unfair. And I wish she is a Veneta person like as a Veneta fan. I wish you would have said,

I have the right to my opinion. I thought you acted like a fucking baby in that breakup. And then you tried to make this poor girl look terrible. You know, on your show when she was trying to save your feelings by not talking about the breakup and making you look like an absolute was.

And the least you could have done was say that she wasn't cheating on you Craig.

That was bullshit what he did.

But she doesn't. She's just like, well, I'm going to talk about it. And I don't want to. And so like it's like, I'm in your corner, but I need a better fighter. I need you to come home.

You know, it's just three or four at this point. Come on.

“So Andy's like, did you think about reaching out to page?”

Like, what about her? I'm sorry. Did you think about, yeah, did you think about reading out to page? What about her comments? And no idea where I'm sorry Craig.

Did you think about reading out to reaching out to Veneta? I'm all turned around from this conversation. So Craig is like, yeah, Veneta's just repeating what she read on read it. I mean, Veneta's like, I don't read read it. And Craig's like, she didn't know page.

She didn't have a relationship with her.

Like page and I were inseparable and never spent a day really apart.

And so when she went, I'm sorry Craig, I'm sorry to interrupt your fucking fountain of bullshit. What do you mean you never spent a day apart? You were a long-distance relationship. You were always at the end of the different cities. You literally spent your entire relationship apart.

Okay, continue. Continue. You know, the public was accusing me of dragging the breakup out, which actually I was the only one not speaking about it. I'm like, there's a video of you, like in your blue sweater sitting on a tube talking about it. It's like, and I still haven't talked about it.

And I just thought it was like a little bandwagon, like getting caught up and like, let's capitalize on this. Like, you know, public breakup. Like, Craig, you literally have spoken about it many times. What are you talking about? And yeah, it probably was a little bandwagon.

But she was on a podcast and the answer about it.

“The answer about her cast made and she answered, honestly.”

And I just think, like, yeah, I understand. Honestly, I understand why Craig has annoyed at someone that he knows. And he probably feels like should be loyal to him regardless. But also, like, this is too much. Like, he literally just was like, I'm not friends with her ever.

He had a tantrum too. And it's, it's people have done far worse to him that he still remains friends with. And saying you capitalize off of it when she's just asked a question about the biggest thing to happen on the show that season. That's crazy. I mean, give me break.

I thought it was Craig. Yeah. And it was the vial files. Like, do you make money for, but he's just whatever Craig. So he's like, well, I don't know why. She says, why don't I need to capitalize off you? And he says, I don't know why you did it.

Because you didn't know page. And you got your information off read it. And she's like, well, I don't read read it. And you and I are on the same show. And he goes, oh, see you really thought she goes, I don't go on social media when the show's airing.

I don't read comments. I don't read read it. So I don't do any of that. As I see you honestly believe that I was enjoying my break up two months out of it. Hmm.

She goes, well, I think you were talking about it more than others. Okay. So again, I don't agree with the things that you said. And I think that's fair to say. All right. Madison, what's your point of view on this? Looks like you're trying to yell, beta.

Yes, beta, two, beta, spotting. I definitely don't think that Craig was enjoying it. And I think that this whole life just kind of blew up right in front of him. Oh, Lord. What was the argument that he said that she said that Craig was enjoying it? Did she say that in that clip?

Maybe it was in that thing. I mean, the other thing is, I don't know what else was said on that interview. It could have been more than just a clip that they aired. So Andy is like, well, the need and we got a lot of post from viewers wondering why you weren't more loyal on Greg's out of things. Cindy from bar shops said didn't Craig jump in the pool last season to rescue her.

Aren't you indebted for the rest of your life to Craig who is the person who pulled you out of a small pool amongst 60 other people who were there? And she's like, well, that's nice and Andy, but I texted Craig multiple times after that. And I think Tim for weeks on end, but I'm not going to sit here and allow you to act like you want to be my friend when we're sitting in this group because you don't reach out to me.

It's like, because you do this to everyone and you speak and you speak and you speak in the last time and you know, it's you speak well past the time anyone else has given. He's like, you weren't the bridge and then you asked why I don't visit. Well, I can't get over there because there's no bridge. Who's going to save me if I drown and fall off the cliff with no bridge. Damn it. Where's the bridge? Where's the bridge?

She's like, I print the bridge last year. So, but where were the years prior to that? You weren't my friend a prior to that either and he's like, we don't know each other Vinita.

We don't have a relationship and we never had.

And I didn't think that you what you did to me was nice and I've always been nice to you and I'll continue to be nice to you.

“So then why if you don't have a relationship, then why are you so upset about what she said on the podcast, right?”

And why are you expecting some sort of loyalty? So if Vinita's like, oh, so you're being exactly. Thank you. And how are you being nice by refusing to speak somebody or acknowledge them? How's that? Exactly. So, crit. So Vinita's like, you're being nice right now.

Yes, I'm just telling you how I feel. It's nothing against you. Vinita's like, um, you're overtalking and you're interrupting and I can't get my words out.

And it's never oh, I didn't realize or oh, I could see your side.

It's just like, I did nothing wrong every time you speak. Vinita, the things that you say about me, they're actually like, they're like really nasty. That's like now I'll delegate Craig, delegate Craig who just screamed at Sally on a bus and and screams at people all the time. He is the one who cannot be on the receiving end of quote unquote nastyness that Vinita said on next podcast. So she's like, okay, well, I'm sorry for saying nasty things about you. I'm sorry. Okay. I'll say it again. I'm sorry. And he's like, well, thank you.

It's because I can apologize for that and there's no butt after it. You see that. And well, Vinita, you seem really hurt by Sally kind of choosing Craig over your friendship.

And so it's like, then never happen though, never chose Craig over her friendship. I chose a penis. He was a penis.

“The penis was on Craig, Sally. How am I supposed to know that?”

How why did it become an either or for you though? No, no. I don't think it ever became an either or I just think my emotions were so heightened because I understand now watching it back. How aggressive it came across and for that. I'm going to apologize to you, Sally, for coming across so aggressive. I think it was more so Sally Sally. Sally, I know that Sally just wants what she wants and in my head, I was just like, okay, let me just make sure I'm steering her in the right direction and helping her as her friend and Craig is not her end game.

Like, just say Craig is not good for Sally. She was he was going to take advantage of her and manipulate her and I was trying to warn her and she just didn't care what I had to say. Well, even more than that, I think if she was really being honest, she'd say I was pissed because this man is being a shithead to me and he's refusing to speak to me and I feel like he's icing me out of the group and you don't even care as long as you can date him. Because that's what it was. She wasn't like Craig's a bad person because blah, blah, blah. She wasn't like Craig because of what Craig had Craig was reacting to her. And I would be hurt too, you know, it's like why are going to go date my friend, but she doesn't say it, you know, again.

And I told you, honestly, I think she shows that I told you so she should have said and you know what I'm feeling because the same thing happened to you with Charlie and you tried to warn Charlie and you saw how you felt hurt when Charlie went and now you know how I felt like that's all she had to say it would have been so vindicating.

“And I just want to acknowledge that you know what I'm sitting here saying, well, you should have said this and you should have done that. My remember, I do understand that it's also different being the only black person on the show.”

And that if you do say something and you do argue that they can, you know, use that against you and say, well, you're being aggressive or you're being this or you know whatever. So I get that it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, but it's a, you know what I mean, I get that that that that that that would be rough. That said, I still think like it's like you have, I think she does a very good job of standing up for herself like how she just stood up to Craig, I thought that was pretty good. She has, it's more of a problem of like getting her actual feelings across. It's like she's trying to say things to just make it better and it's just standing by this is how I felt you hurt my feelings because that you know that guy doesn't like me.

And you know I'm really uncomfortable and then you're coming around me talking about how much you love the guy like how am I supposed to fucking feel about it. Yeah, yeah, I think it's that it's not that we need her to be argumentative. We just wanted to say the thing that is really the thing here, which is, which is that which is that like this guy, I was beeping with this guy and he was mean to me. And like you're still deciding that you would rather go after him and knowing how much he hurt me.

And I feel like things have shifted and you haven't really wanted to be in pictures with me and you don't want, you don't want me to post with you.

“And I feel like you're honestly sometimes ashamed to call me a friend and it makes me sad. Almost as sad as it would make me if I didn't get to see Austin's dig to not you.”

And also like damn. So Sally goes, yeah, you know, like when fans fans are out and they're like, hey, can we take a picture together and then you're like, we can't be seen together. I mean, that just hurts my feelings, which. What the hell? Oh my god, Vanita does that. I cracked that. Yeah. And then Vanita is like, yeah, because on the back end of that, I'm getting called stupid for having your back and like going and standing up for you and then you then turn around and play me like a fool and a friendship game.

And so I said, well, when did I play you? I held me played with Austin's penis and Vina is like, well, watching it back should explain it enough. See, that's I hate that response. I hate that watching it back should explain it enough.

That's not enough Vanita were at a reunion say explicitly what it is.

I was like, well, Vanita, you're trashing me the entire fucking show. I mean, I've said one thing my green screen calling you and mature will what specifically from the show Vanita are you seeing and she goes, well, I wouldn't say show really I would say screenshots I get from people and comments and DMs. Okay, you just said you don't read Reddit or pay attention to any of this stuff and I know this isn't exactly that but it's the same thing and she's like this saying this type of friendship you have this is the type of person you want to be with.

And she's like, who are these people? They're not your friends if they're doing that. So Vanita is basically saying it's not publicly like, I'll be your friend, but like the public doesn't like that I'm your friend. So I'm not going to take pictures with you. I mean, that's not great either. I was like, oh, this is a losing argument and like all of Vanita's strong points before this are going to get through not the window because everyone's just going to focus on this, you know, like that that she's essentially cow telling to the public, which also then gives greater credence to Craig and his issues the Vanita on the podcast.

So yes, so she's like, well, I'm sorry. I'm so it's like my not going. I thought it was cow telling probably is cow telling. I'm when I said it, I was like that didn't sound right.

Well, I'm curious because you're like, no, I just wouldn't know more than me.

“It spelled cow telling, but I think it's cow telling actually do think it's why I need to know now. How do you pronounce cow.”

I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you. But then when you said cow tell us like, oh, I like that. I'm like towing it cow. I'm not going to tell you your cow. I started wondering where did that come from. Yeah. Well, what's it going to take to cow tell YouTube back? Okay, because it's actually it seems to me that you really miss each other. And I based that off of pretty much nothing. I just want to put a little ribbon on this.

This segment, so we can talk to Craig again. So it doesn't seem too deeply. You guys are going through. So I don't know like can you guys like I don't know like maybe you shouldn't be caring about what the viewers are saying. It seems like you're too smart for that, right? Come on. Let's fix this.

“She's like, well, you know, look, I mean, we all fall in that trap sometimes and I mean am I going to cry am I going to cry right now? I think I have a great atmosphere.”

Well, my makeup is too good for this. And man, so like, yeah, you are hot. Yeah, I'm hot. I'm, you know, the thing that got to me the most. Like no fest anybody on this couch, but I did not open myself up in any way to anyone else the way I did to Sally. Oh, God, I'm crying. I'm crying now. I'm like, oh, that's not okay. Because you love her. You love her. It's okay. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm like, oh, I miss you. I miss Andy's children a lot too. So you're not hurt my feelings and you know it's just I I get even dark right now. And he's like, okay, you're good. Yeah, good. It's not that deep. Okay. Well, it is that deep because you're crying. Massing like this because he's a genuine friendship. Yeah, I just I miss that like I hate that we have all this stupid scrawl over nothing.

Well, I will say this is the first time in southern charm history that every single one of us are genuine friends. We all hang out outside of family and stuff. Yeah, get that vibe again. The way that you're all screaming fuck you. Craig, you know, don't really get that vibe.

Okay, thank you. It was good. Look at him cry. So saying he's like a regular Mariah Carey over there with his emotions.

“Savannah is like, there was a moment where I literally thought I was dying and I called Sally and Sally was at my house in six minutes and mind you should live for two minutes away from me.”

So I was like, I literally the first person I see when I wake up from the operation is beneath a smiling in my face. All right. Well, Austin and Craig takes some fucking nuts because that's how you need to maintain the friendship. You super fuck a bait is that was a therapy session. No, it wasn't. It's not a therapy session unless you ask Alexa something. Anyway, we'll talk to them in six more years of doing this and see how they handle it. Okay, and then maybe we'll take lessons because we do need lessons.

And he now he's like, smiley charming Craig. He's like, remember me. Okay. We got past the rough Craig time, right guys. Okay. I'm just a sweet guy. I'm just a way Craig's lapels were driving me nuts. Did they drive you nuts? The lapels on his jacket were how this like pointy tips is pointy tips in the corner. And the thing is that the weight when he's sitting in a certain way, they would like rise above his shoulders. So he had these like little points that were coming up out from out on his blazer.

I was going nuts with them. Pointy tips. I didn't notice this. It drove me nuts. Now I want to do acknowledge that or anyone else you saw it and this going crazy. Game silly little points. Yeah.

So now it's Craig's hot tub.

Okay, it's Sally and love with Craig. She wanted to be his number one chick, but that relationship ultimately never hatched.

When Sally realized she wasn't first in the backing order. She wasn't even the side of how he mastered for chicken nuggets. So we see the chickens and Andy's like, Sally, what was it about Craig? And she's like, oh, it was strictly his looks. And Madison's like, yeah, you're just a hot piece of ass. And she's like, oh, gosh, he's so pony.

Oh, he's a piece of meat at me. Like to me, I served my cat. It's got that piece of meat. Alright, Craig, was there ever any serious interest in Sally? I mean, honestly, it was just like, it's weird to say it, but like, I just saw you as a sister. Oh, by the way, huh?

“Yeah, you know, that's how kind of certain states.”

Alright, well let's talk about the attack. Sally sent after the first hot tub party. Sally wrote, that was fun. You were spotted. Yeah, was Sally wrote, I should have stayed. You were spotted. You could have if you wanted. I got a boner. Sorry, that was my text. Eggman, Eggman, Eggman, Eggman, Eggman. God, that was hot.

So scandalous. Now, I would kind of interpret that text as, like, I could have slept with Craig Conover last night. You said that you were just being nice, but what did you mean by that? Well, I was just being like, well, she's gone and she was like, I should have stayed.

And I was like, yeah, you could always stay. Like, and we could have sex if you want.

And I guess I shouldn't have sent it because like, maybe my judgment was like, not right or whatever. Yeah, kind of has a double meaning. It means two things when you say, "We've come over and let's fuck." You know, it's like a single meaning, actually. Yeah, I would either just meant, like, let's hang out. When I say, like, we should like have sex.

“It's just like, let's like, you know, sit and watch like this and log together, you know?”

Yeah, I mean, if I were you, I would have thought, damn, I should have stayed. Oh, Craig, you also said that during the hot tub get together is no one even kissed. Well, so there was like a night that Sally and Cory had gone off somewhere. And like Charlie and I showed my show, I showed my, I showed my sewing room to Charlie. Do you remember Charlie, she goes, yeah.

And she said, "You're sewing dungeon!" Gosh. And I guess it was like, I, I like, I went to kiss her. Charlie goes, "Yeah, you said, you can kiss me right now if you want." And I said, "I don't want you."

Craig said that to Charlie, you can kiss me if you want. He's such a prize. Yeah, he's such a prize. He's like, "I don't remember." And she goes, "Yeah, you said, you can kiss me if you want." And I was like, "Um, I'm okay."

"Ooh, what in the right thing to be?" He said, "Wouldn't the right thing to say, say, "Can I kiss you?" Craig goes, "Yeah, as my, my moves are on great." When there's like you have permission. You have my permission to kiss me.

Thank you very much. By the way, I was really upset that there was not really a line of questioning about those damn chickens.

Like, that still is crazy to me. Sally is so beyond help at this point. My mean, she doesn't even care.

“So I think they're just, you know, what are you going to do?”

You know, so he asks about, he says, "You know, over the years, if we've talked about you dating girls as we talk about in relationship to Austin or Shep's game, you know, you do seem like the three of them to be the most kind of chase out of everybody. And he goes, "Yeah, well, I wouldn't just hook up with someone unless I like them. Like, I'd rather just go home by myself and do myself."

"Do I do your stuff?" Oh, she can't have been Franklin by herself. I can't take that for a masturbator, okay? And Sally's like, "Well, he just stands in front of the mirror, looks at himself. I win too. When you, he is hot. Woo-hoo!

Wait, is that a train coming down the track? 'Cause here's what I hear."

Woo-hoo! Sally, you talked about wanting babies, but you ended up with chickens. The viewers had a lot to say about the chickens. Bravo lover on Twitter said Sally buying chickens to impress Craig. Oh, man, sure of hands.

Who thought buying chickens was to attract Craig? So awesome raises his hand. Sally's like, "What the fuck?" I mean, we talked about it, you know? Yeah, but I watched it. I mean, I watched it too. You got it for Craig. I just thought it was stupid, stupid thing to do.

Yeah, well, you know, it looked like we were raising chickens together.

“That's what looks like you were thinking.”

Wow, okay. But no one saw the conversation about the chickens. They cut that. That would have made me look innocent. Yeah, I'll cut it. Well, instead of asking a follow-up question about this, I'm going to ask you this. You know, you kind of went after both Craig and Austin this season.

I wonder if you learned anything more about what you're looking for in a man as a result. Ah, sorry, just laughing at the concept of you learning a lesson. Well, actually, no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, me and Austin have a really good foundation, like friendship. You know, I'm not saying anything's ever going to happen there.

Okay, but genuinely, I think that Austin is just such a good guy. He's going to make a great husband, a great dad. I can't wait to get pregnant with his babies. Woohoo! Okay, wait to raise him. Yeah, Charlie. What is that?

It's also going to make a great mom, despite the fact that she has a very, very high body count. Huge body count.

He is going to make an amazing loose mom.

[laughs] Those babies will literally pop right out of her. Gross Sally. God is, I think Sally, you know, she doesn't seem like she has a bad bone in her body. But God, what a ding-dong. My God. So Andy is like, "Well, he's going to make a great father your children."

And Craig's like, "Yeah, we're going to make fun dads. I'll tell you that." Well, y'all are about to age a fuck out of it. You better get on me. [laughs] Shut up. Now, if it was getting there here, Dawn and Andy's like,

"Well, come back! This season we were joined by an Arkansas name Charlie." And winner, a well-read attorney, or what Craig would call a lawyer and a story. Reader, ha! Get it. So, winner here is your one question you'll be asked.

What surprised you most about your first season?

The DMs were probably- That's great. Okay, now let's move right on to Charlie. I actually love this because it's nothing to do with the show. It's all the chances he gets to get laid in the DMs.

“That's why- that's why the man on this show suck.”

Because they have every chance in the world. And that's why you will probably suck next year. Winner? Yeah. Your second year, nobody gets out unscathed. So he says he got an unsolicited DM from someone sending in most-

like all these sexual offers. And then after sending an explicit offer, sent three voice and memos lecturing him about not becoming the fuckboy. He's like mix messaging. Okay. Well, your mom got a lot of love this season.

Well, you know, thank you. She is an anarchist. And she is currently pending her manifesto for the rebellion in one of our states in France. So keep an eye out for that. She's now an anarchist with about 37 Dictionary DMs, Andy. That's how those DMs are crazy.

All right. Well, we got a lot of comments about your literary theme birthday party. Chef fans want to know why didn't you tell Greg that Rufu is not in the book Peter Pan. He's only in the movie and chef is like, "Carsh, well, I wasn't really that into Peter Pan." And, uh, you know, if this were a lot, a different season, I would say. Because it's so fun to watch Craigville, "Carsh."

Chef only had ice mix, ice rest like shit. So that's why.

But it's a wouldn't-teat called of the day." Well, Charlie, you came in as the new girl and everyone ad eyes on you. With that overwhelming, she's like, "Uh, you know, I just..." She's shaking. She's like, "Ooh."

“Well, you know, I think this group in general is just like overwhelming.”

And, like, I love y'all, but like, everything you do, like being under a microscope. I just, I just, I feel like I knew that coming into it, but... God. Sally, you're the one to brought Charlie into the group. Did you ever suspect that you've been kind of circling the same guy?

Not really, but what, you know? Did you pick up any vibes between them and your group? Hot dogs? No! Oh, no! Did you think she was downplaying her interests? What does it percent? And I definitely like all of us would be going to dinner all the time.

And like, we go to dinners, we go out, and then y'all start texting outside of the cult, which I didn't know happened. Yeah, we're in a cult. Chase.

Yeah, you guys never count.

Yeah. It was, it was, it was all to the hot tub. Yeah, it was sacred Eve. So I'm not knowing, you know, I'm in the dark on all of this. And I have no idea that they're takes.

And I got no idea that they're face-dominant all the time. And that's where my frustration lies. It's like, I don't think you were truthful from the gate go of your interest in Craig. It's like, well, because everyone wanted me to be like, yes, I like Craig. And I'm like, I don't know him yet. Like, can I just get to know him?

I'm like, I don't know if I like him if I don't secretly get to know him.

“Jolly, did you think Sally was trying to ruin your relationship with Craig?”

Because we all agree the answer is yes. And she's like, well, at times it did feel like that. And I knew like subconsciously you had something to say about it all the time. Sort of like, how I'd come home and there'd just be all these bottles of you who all over my apartment. Where does those come from?

Yeah, but you also didn't want to talk about it because you wanted it to be secret. Because it's not that I wanted it to be secret. It's just like I wanted to form my own opinion about it. You know, and I couldn't really do that with you in a hot tub, naming imaginary chickens that you were going to raise together one day.

Like it was hard. It was hard from Sally. Sally, at what point are you just going to accept the fact that you were fucking annoying about Craig? And she was interested and she just didn't want to bring up Craig around you. And because every time she brought up Craig,

you were like a negative Nancy about it. And she just wanted to have a little fuck buddy for the summer. You put down flags in everybody's yard and then, you know, claimed that everybody's walking on your yard when they're just trying to exercise it mind. You don't own the whole neighborhood.

Yes, I was just trying to do my nightly yard exercises. And that's my yard. Not fair.

I thought that yard first.

I bought my flying there. It's not p.m. why you exercising on my yard.

“Yeah, but like we've done, we don't do friendship that way.”

You know, like it's like there's not a night where we would go out. And if she's got a guy's membership, call me and she'd tell me about that number. And then I try to guess the numbers. And she wouldn't really tell me and so I'd wait for her to go to bed. And I'd use facial recognition on her phone.

I'd get the number and I'd text the guy. It's so fun. Gotta love our friendship. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one.

The two pods recap for part two. Go look for the recap that's his part two. Hmm. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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