[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC PLAYING] Well, hello, everybody. Happy Friday to you.
Welcome to Watra Crappin.
“This is Randall and that's Bandal over there.”
Hi, Ben. Hi. Hi. Great. How are you doing?
Good. Everybody, welcome to Ladies of London Day. If you want this as a video recap or you want ad-free listening, or you want our bonus episodes next week, so about to write us.
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Okay. Now welcome to Ladies of London season four episode five. Martha in the middle. Oh, Martha, God. Just want to say one more time.
It's funny. I meant it like, oh my God. But I said God as if I was a dressing God. But I will address God. Thank you for the show.
This shows great. So we start with shots of traffic and it's like, this is Darra except it says driving in London. And now we find out what it's like to drive in London. And Mike is like, I am a great driver in America.
I am a horrible driver in the UK. By the way, I don't believe you're a great driver in America.
“I believe you drive slowly in the left lane.”
I believe that as well. This is a nice change from the usual housewives teaching my teenager to drive. And just watching an American try to drive instant. And it's pretty funny. And she's with a really low key driving instructor who's just like disgusted with her.
She's like, yes, God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I keep forgetting the doors on the side of her. God, embarrassing.
A fool. Die. Please die. How did the news and entire war against you morons? This instructor is so polite that she won't even give Micah notes about anything she's doing wrong until afterwards.
Like at one point, Micah nearly crashes into something. Oh my God. I almost crash into something. Oh yes, I was about to say you're about to crash. I was like, as the instructor is both to say stop.
You know, but what I love about this sequence and what I love about this show is that these people on this show just lean in to being like wealthy and out of touch. And they're like proud of it. Like, oh, no, driving. No, of course I didn't drive disgusting.
You know, where's like it was on the real housewives who'd like, I love to drive. What am I favorite things to do is go to a store of grocery because I'm of the people. I'm like, you're not. But like, you're like, you disgusting. No.
Put me in the back seat. Sir asking the ladies about their driving.
They ask Martha first and she's like, "Of course I drive.
I'm a terrible driver, but I'm a confident driver." They show her little pinto, like coming down the street. I'm like smoke blowing out the tailpipe, you know? People talking, thinking you're going shots in the street. So like, oh, yeah.
I'm terrible, but I'm confident. And Mark's like, oh, no, you don't drive. You sit in the back seat. You make your phone calls.
“You do whatever it is you have to do and then you get out.”
Oh, sounds like it's like pooping. It's like, oh, God. It's the death of the leaves. I go through that human that's human custom every morning. And it was like, "Well, I take taxes and I walk.
And we have a driver to get to the country, obviously." Like, I mean, what are you talking about? Like, obviously everyone has a driver to get to the country. So darling, even our driver has a driver. It's another rhinoceros, which is lovely.
They keep themselves employed. So back to my, and Nisha, the driver, the driving instructor.
She's like, I've never gotten one speeding ticket.
And you know, that is the state of America. But in London, if I get one more, I lose my license. Oh, wow. Check, yeah, you need to stop back there. Oh, my God, is that like a stop sex?
Is that what all those yellow mind means? Whoops. She says, I mean, they're real sticklers here with their rules
They're etiquette in there.
I mean, the brits, I mean, wow.
I'm like, no, they probably just know that you're an American driver. I know I'm going to give you a lot of tickets. They're probably targeting you just to get you off the road. Like, oh, God, we don't need another American with their driving on the left. The right side of the road bullsh*t.
Give them enough tickets so they're not legally allowed to do this. And this country, red light, mean green. She's like, oh, God. So I love she's trying to do a 20 point turn. And the instructor's like, you don't want to hit the pavement.
Could I get a ticket for hitting the pavement? Technically no, but it is considered disgusting. So now we go to a fish and chips restaurant where Micah, Martha and Kimi are meeting. And Micah's like, they're looking at some catch-up.
There's some catch-up on the table. Micah's like, do you guys put catch-up on eggs? No, it's just weird. It's just like, how's the view-clap of drive-up? The whole conversation's where they sit down and Kimi's like, oh, I love catch-up.
I just love that. I'll put catch-up on things. [laughing] Catch-up from my ride. So--
Yeah, she tries to open it up. She's like,
"Do you put it on your eggs?" And I, oh, God. Now, disgusting. That's like asking, "But catch-up in your blog, the blog." Whatever.
So, what have you been up to? Well, I feel really tired today. Martha's just like, "Do you?" Yeah, really tired, you guys. My three-year-old woke up four times in the night.
It's like one of those. Oh, three is such a difficult age. So, you wake up with your children.
“Why are you looking at the same apartment instead of children?”
Just-- God's ding me, hey, yeah. I just want to say, if I ever say three is such a difficult age, because I'm just giving you a generic response
so you're already very boring story about your children. [laughing] One to one, please. I mean, there's so much pressure being an etiquette instructor and having children.
Oh, my God. I can't. I can't. I can't. With her strife of being an etiquette teacher in--
It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Why don't you go teach Greek people how to make Siuvaki? I mean--
You don't understand. It's one of the most high-pressure situations you can be in. To be an etiquette instructor. And to have children.
People think I have these perfect little beings that don't speak and are just wonderful. You know all the British etiquette instructors are like, "Well, yes, that's how you do it." He's like, "I can't.
I don't know how to do it." Like, I've all the same issues as every other apartment in America has. Hmm, the key is mom in America. Right, child?
See, no response. In Britain, we-- This is how we do our improv. Yes? Notice this is no end.
[laughs] Well, etiquette is really about treating everyone around you
with kindness and respect and thinking of other people first.
Hmm. I don't know. Do I need to open the definition? And, uh, Mike has like, "Guys, well, I've been working on get this.
It's a TV show. And it involves wait for it. Pop it. And it's a chemist face. It's just like--
I got it. Her lips are more than usual. Pop it. Do you put mayonnaise on the pop-up? 'Cause let me tell you something
if the pop-up doesn't have mayonnaise on it, I'm not gonna fuck it. [laughs] So, we see Mike doing her puppet show thing on the set. And, um, she's asking her a daughter.
“She's like, "Do you want to hear my voice for Gipper?”
It's like this." "Hello, my name is Gipper!" And, it just got to the daughter looking at her, like, "Hey, mommy, I'm just terrible at this." 'Cause, of course, she's raising British children now.
Yes. You're disgusting. You're still putting ketchup on your eggs, are we? "Mummy, this is quite American of you. Could you please stop?"
So, then, uh, Mike is like, "Yeah. So, every episode has a different theme. One theme is how to give lucky talk. You see someone? Another is how to react when that person calls you cringe.
It's a huge undertaking. And, we've been working on it for years, years and years. And, you know, Kim, he's like, "Wow. So, you've been working on a puppet show for years." Wow.
Okay. I'm not often that a loss of words, but, uh, I think, here. I really don't know what to say. So, I'll just say, "Oh, that's a good idea." For someone?
Would it be wrong to say that I would much prefer hearing about someone's brother getting shot ten times from the street than listening to that? [laughter] Yeah.
No, it's not. That's a man. So, that's it. You guys have fun yesterday. Yes, I had a great time.
Oh, it was so much fun. Thank you. And, they're talking about the model naked painting ceremony thing.
“And, Martha's like, "Yes, I think Mark was a little surprised”
to see a penis there, a little willy." Well, I was surprised when he started painting a hot rain jar.
[laughter]
That'd be fair for him.
It was a really nice, high-drain jar.
[laughter] [laughter] It was a really nice, high-drain jar. Yes, it was really nice. Well, I thought he of all people might be into it.
“Yeah, well, I think that, you know, I thought he and Lonnie were a bit shy.”
It's like, "Oh, yes, they were." And I mean, like, she's pregnant. So, you know, pregnant women are disgusting, right? Well, I was going to say, "I don't judge pregnant women because they're in a whole different bull game
as in they're not getting a lot of bulls and them all there." [laughter] You just said, "You just said a kimi joke." Yes, I do. [laughter]
So, then we got a missy's apartment. And she's got all these baked goods set out and Lonnie Margo are coming over. And, um, there, Lonnie's getting hot. She's like, "Are you kidding?" Missy says, "What are you getting?"
"Trush." And she's like, "Flush, flush." "Trush is something else." [laughter] None of that, no, none of that goes.
So, she's getting her nails done for her gender reveal party. And she's like, "Chent of reveals." I've definitely more than American thing. But they're becoming more, more popular in England because of, you know, tick-tock culture.
“And so, everyone wants to have something to show, don't they?”
It's not every day, you marry moaning mortal. Just want to say to England, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We don't like the gender reveals here in America. Either, and I appreciate you trying to have, like, a moment of cross-cultural understanding
or appreciation or participation. You don't have to do this. You don't. Please, please, don't do the gender reveals. This tick-tock culture, even a thing.
I was watching, um, I mean, still. Because I know it is a thing. But I was watching secret lives of Mormon wives. The other day I just started season four. And now that dads are doing their, like, dad talk.
It's a serious business. And so, half the episode is the guys. They're doing, like, dad talk. We're going to talk about dad talk business because women don't own tick-tock. Like, oh, yes, they fucking, you better get your ass off this tick-tock.
I'm never watching this again.
They couldn't get me to delete tick-tock with all of this that they've been saying. Like, they're stealing your information. They're, you know, they're making AI videos out of your face or whatever the fuck they've been telling us for the past four years. But now, I'm gone. I'm deleting that shit.
If I have to be subjected to dad talk, I'm out of here. Yeah. God, God, I'm not about that. That shows jump the shark. It sounds like.
So, Missy is like, oh, so Lati, oh, you're going to have any help with the baby. She's like, well, I don't know. I haven't booked any help, you know. But like, are you saying, do you recommend to help? Or are you just, after not having help?
Or are you just recommending? She's like, no, yeah, with my son River. I actually never had help. But I did it mostly myself. See, I want to do that.
But I know it's unrealistic between, you know, ten burdens making. And just being quiet, it's difficult to have time to raise a child. Well, I had full time help. I had three nannies, 24/7, Margot. It's like, bragging all the time.
You know, which they point out. Yeah, that's that person. It's really funny to see that now. It's like, yeah, I had full time help. Like, constant help.
They were always there. I mean, they're right there. They're right. I'm not even sitting on a chair. I'm sitting on some help.
Thank you. Thank you. I'm real. I certainly didn't grow up with buttlers and night nurses and things. My mom had four kids and did it all on her own.
The only assistant she had was a very aggressive set of bangs. Well, you and Kimmy, you're like on good terms now, Missy. And she's like, oh, yeah, I mean, but I'm not on good. You know, I don't know where we stand because she had. You know, she kind of said, sorry, not sorry.
Kind of. And so we flashback to Kim being like, well, I don't think it's cool to tell me that I can't say that I don't want to sit at a lunch that's very dark. And I apologize if that hurts or feelings. But that's just who I am. So Missy was unsatisfied with this.
And so now we go back to the other lunch. By the way, this entire episode is like rival meals. And it's basically like the cool fun people and the boring people.
And by boring, there's actually no boring people on the show, which is amazing.
But we know, like there's a group that we like.
“And I think if it's like they're like the lame people, right?”
There's like the rich English people and then they're the American transplants. Who are just like desperate in any kind of reality star fame, you know? And Missy. And Missy. Yeah.
It's time for commercial. It's time for a Grapins commercial. Indeed, it's that ausryed. In my last step, I'll show you how to do it. Mmm, it's a lot.
(laughs) So, um, can be slick. Well, I actually went outside the other day. And I said, Missy, listen. I apologize if I offended you.
I didn't mean to offend you and you're a stupid, druggy brother.
But you know, it's just who I am.
“I was like, well, oh, Mike is like, well, I'm so glad you said that.”
Yeah, I mean, who I do have a problem. Now, what's fucking Margo, right? But you see, everything's beeping as face. She didn't know it was a secret. Yeah, but obviously it upset the girl.
Like, she's actually repeated something. And made into something wide bigger than it is. While I said, oh, okay, I drugged our murder. Wow, blah, blah, blah. Who hasn't been murdered?
Come on, Ryan. She earned a whole big thing. And it wasn't necessary. So if anybody fucking hurt, fucking hurt Missy, he was Margo.
(laughs) Margo does not have a flying flu. Oh, look, about Missy. Okay, or what happened to Missy?
Margo just wants to make a scene.
And Kim meets like, I don't trust her. I don't trust the bitch. Mike is like, oh, you know Margo very, very well, Martha. So, and you know Kim, he very, very well.
“And knowing both lions in this fight, how would you say?”
It's like, well, I think this is going to go down to the wire, man. I mean, they're Linda Pressling. I could, I could try and peace keep, but I didn't think it's going to work. So I've both given them knives and keys to my apartment. And I said, do what you will, ladies.
Whoever emerges with the most eyeballs intact swings. Listen, if I get involved, I'm going to somehow get it wrong. And they both get a turn on me. I don't want any part of it, which is why in the next scene, you'll see me directly call Margo until everything that Kim just said.
Well, I'm not going to turn on you. I'm not a PC person. I'm not a polite person, but I am a loyal person. And anything I say, I'm a girl of golf. I've no tolerance for that.
And now she's on a shit list. She's on a shit list. And she's fucked. She's fucked. I loved it. Now we go over.
She's getting so dramatic and hilarious. She started off this scene by going, like, "Tell me, tell me about your puppet business." And by the end, she's like, "Oh, yeah. I think I'm fucking selfish." She's fucked.
She really did. I mean, actually, technically, she started this scene and saying, "Listen. If a guy doesn't need me, he doesn't need mayonnaise. I'm out of the date and sell notes." I mean, vegan.
What is a vegan exactly? I'm not going to talk to a vegan. I mean, they can probably keep their pain as hard for about 30 seconds. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Now we go to Oxford and where a Joshua's family estate and is the gender reveal party that they're doing. And what's so funny is that, like, you know, Joshua and Lottie, I actually really love them. This, like, normally, I feel like on a different show,
I'd be like, "Oh, these would be like the pretentious Alex and Simon McCords." But I do really like them.
And I love their, like, the suits are amazing.
Like, they're just so perfectly tailored. And I love that he also clearly made suits for his mom and his sister, or his aunt, or whoever it was. Because his mom has, like, the same sort of, like shiny material fitted with the pointy lapels and everything.
So I love that he just, like, keeps making blazer for people. And, um, they, uh, is the gender reveal and Lottie's done some tarot cards and the tarot cards say that she's having a boy. But will she have a boy?
Yeah. What really happened to the ascendancy? Hmm. So Joshua is like, "Man, I would hug you, but I don't want to touch you.
Because you're so, so white. You know, with the gender reveal, there's some things that we sort of walked down the more traditional line. Hmm.
“I think making it a celebration makes it even more special,”
which is why we're having a celebration. Fruch into reveal. #TiktokCoachah. So Lottie tells us that also one of the reasons why they're doing this is because her dad has been ill.
And I believe they show a card at the end of the episode which I believe was her dad that shows that he sadly passed. You know, I'll be fairly recently. And, um, we see her with her dad. And she says that her dad was a CEO
and she's just trying to spend as much time as she can with him together. So they do the reveal and this slice into the cake. And she's like, "Everyone, if it's a boy, it should be a blueberry cake
with vanilla custard and, um, herbal tea, crunchies, as well as another layer of blueberry jam and a compote of vanilla. And if it's a girl, it's going to be raspberry compote with vanilla sponge, with speckles of more rasp,
but I'm like, "Okay, just like cut into the cake, we'll see the colors." You're not sure it's just like... All right, master chef. Mm-hmm.
And they cut into it and it's a boy, guys. Well, I got this vision of dresses and tiaras and things like that. And I now have these visions of mini suits. Oh, yes.
The mini suits are definitely coming. Mini suits. They're going to wake up at the null night behind. Mini suits. Mini suits.
This is going to be the best dress.
This baby's going to be a suit for life.
It's going to show up at daycare. In like a shiny, form-fitting suit with lapels that stick up to its shoulders. And the little top hat and a mustache. Lot is like, "But if it's a little boy,
I mean, I'm horrified, because don't little boys wee wee on you all the time." And he's like, "Well, I'm pretty sure that's not sexually ambiguous." I think Goose wee is well-dolling. No, no, it's the willy.
And also it's really weird that I've got like a willy griving inside of me now. [laughs] So now we go to Marga's new house. Like a lot.
Now they're so strange. So we go to Marga's new house. And she's bring her daughter Della into the house. And it's like multicolored, sort of past Ellie house
with like yellows and pinks. And we find out, by the way, that this house is 60,000 US dollars per month.
“I mean, at that point you could just buy something, I think.”
Like that is so much to spend on rent. Clearly, she's renting it for two months. It's probably a store-term rental that she's renting for this show. Because I cannot imagine a world where you just sort of open and at least spend 60,000 dollars a month on rent.
That's crazy. Yeah. She's like, "When I go into a space, I like bring my sage and my polo-santo and stuff." But like this has a vibe.
Like I say, it's really bright, like warm colors. And everything has been thought out. Like we doubled our budget, but you know everything's perfect. And I'm rich, I'm rich as fuck.
So she has to walk up 40 steps to get to the second floor.
I mean, and then there's this staircase to the next floor. And that's the thing I don't get. 60,000 a month to walk up 90,000 steps. No. This entire scene was her just walking up staircases.
It was just like going up, up, up, up. I mean, she could have been in K-pop demon hunters. So she's got a small child. I mean, this is going to be a lot of bruises. A lot of bruises and broken bones.
I predict. And that kid's bedroom is at the top of the 15 staircase. Like the doorway opens up to the staircase. That kid is going to be tumbling down stairs. (laughs)
But blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It'll be like 100 feet with a child. Yeah. This was not like a child's safety house. But you know, she looks really rich in it.
So that's what's important. So she calls Martha. And she's like, well, I was thinking because it's like so hot and sunny. We could like take advantage of my garden. And Monica Malvar, like you was probably going to be living
and something that looks a lot like a garden. Pretty soon. I'd love to darling, but I've got plans with Emma. Sorry. Doing British things, apologies.
She's like, oh, okay. Well, I'm sure it'll be all good vibes. By the way, um, how are you after that drawing class? And she's like, oh, I'm okay. But I didn't know that Kimmy and Michael yesterday.
And Kimmy says that you're snake in the grass. And I said, oh, perfect. Can I adopt it? And put it in my apartment. And we're going to get kind of go tell Missy something that she didn't need to know darling.
No, no, that's the difference. She did need to know that's the whole different because she said very clearly. I want to know things. I really care about that.
“So like I told her things like that's what friends do Martha.”
Martha, she met her fucking self together before your dead. I think that when Missy said I want to know things, she met more like, how does it all not work or how do I cook this in the microwave? I don't think she wanted to know things like that. Okay.
She's like, well, she's mad at me. Why is this white wine? Yellow. You know things like that. And I would like to know that too.
Well, by the way. Also, why is the water that comes out of my faucet? Yellow. Is it wine? Can I drink it?
Where are my keys? Have you found that man? Oh, my God. She's mad at me for telling Missy. Are we in middle school?
Like, how did I get this wrong? Like, how's my problem, Kimmy? Well, I don't think that either of you are right in this situation. I think you're both wrong and horrible right now.
Both of you are horrible. Horrible people. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You think I'm being horrible to Kimmy, Martha? Are you serious?
You know I'm an actress, right? Like, no, you're like, that gives me a certain degree of respect.
“And are you like just trying to like, you know, say anything to get out of the line of fire?”
I'm stuck in the line of fire. And I don't want to be. So, well, you can love someone who's wrong. So, when she can be really tough because she's had to be really tough. But I also know that there's a heart of gold in there.
And she's lying as she would fight for friends. Well, she'd better roar and show up because right now she's just looking like a bitch. Kimmy probably watched. I was like, well, thank you. That was the boy.
So, now we go to end it Emma's London flat. And she's screaming pastry. She's like, bro. She's like, good homemaker. And she's like, I love cooking.
I genuinely love it. I learned it from my mom and then I had lessons in London.
I've never worked in a restaurant.
I have written for magazines, recipes.
I've had television shows.
“The television show called Emma's Kitchen.”
Here it is. We see Emma's Kitchen, she's like, I learned from my mom and I had lessons in London.
I never worked in a restaurant.
But I did write in magazines. TV shows. Here's the TV show. It's me. Emma, Emma's Kitchen.
I've learned from my mom. And then I had lessons in London. No. It's a loop. It's like, get me out of this loop.
Someone reset the robot. I love that there's like headlining into a mirror while looking into a mirror. It's so funny. I actually, I love Emma. And I don't know why.
Because she's actually kind of boring. But I actually really, because she's so elegant. And like, she's one of those people that's just like, I like her eyes that you're like, I'm like, oh, it's fine.
But she's also one of these people that like, looks all this stuff, but she's also like a toothpick. And I'm like, maybe. So then, um, I like to see this. It's not eating.
It's not eating.
But I love her because, you know,
I love her personality. She's so chill. But she can also be bitchy, which you can see that kind of seating. And I also love this.
Yes.
“We know where this storyline is going because we saw Julie and her sandwich,”
her sandwich, Earl or whatever. And how rich they are. But we know that they have to work so hard to keep these estates up. Like these estates are not just paid for. They have to come up with money to keep these things running.
Which is why they've made it into a zoo. And why she's trying to do so. I love this inspiration. They're right under the surface. And right now, she's too cool to show any of it.
You know, we don't see it. We know it's coming. And I also love. There's they show some headlines to show that she has actually like a unknown, you know, uh, cooking thing, you know.
And so there's headline that goes, Miracats, morangs, and mining the recipe archives.
Lady Waymouth on her plans for a new era at Longley.
I'm like, is she making, is she cooking Miracats? Yes, my, my brain cake. Yeah. So that's exactly what she wanted. The next were cooking Miracats and morangs.
I'm looking for the juxtaposition. We cut to Margo's house where she is just like cutting shit out of a bag. I'm saying, Oh, God. This is like so hard. So it's like so hard to host things.
Even when you get stuff from other places, uh, hosting is hard.
“So Emma, meanwhile, has put out like a billion,”
like, canopays and little pastries and little, like, you know, uh, little adorable bait goods. Just like I feel nuts and lots of parties over the years. Mainly for Miracats. That's what's called Miracat.
Anna, someone had to feed them. Oh, my God. And I came up with an idea. I'm going to teach Miracat manners. [laughs]
And I'll feed them. Yes, we had lots of dinner parties. I've done dinner by the lake when hippos come back to look at us. I've done dinner at the funerals for the people who are killed by the hippos. And I've done dinner for Diana Ross who was singing on top of hippo.
Really anything that involves the hippo I've catered to it. So Mark and Kimmy come and they're, Oh, my God. This is a Homeric castle. Wow. Here we are.
Rich on wheels. I'm a Homeric. I'm a Homeric. I'm a Homeric. I'm a Homeric.
I'm a Homeric. I'm a Homeric. Check out it. It makes all this noise. They make so much noise.
That's not the best way to put it. They come in making so much noise. Like, laughing noise. They are like, this is an episode of puppets. These are like real life puppets coming in.
And it's hilarious that later on. They get compared to puppets. But like they come in. And that was like, Oh, well, these kicks are made from apparel. Oh, well, they're beautiful.
I'm like, well, of course she knows. But this, of course, is alcohol and them darling. Well, I need my audience. Are you joking? Of course I know.
So they're just like, oh, oh, oh, oh. When I used to got a long lead before Emma showed up, we had to drink wine. Not if it's shitty books. The seats sunk. So we have this like already very rockous party.
That's just like they walk in and they're already laughing and having fun. And then we go to Marcos. And it's like very pretty. It's very quiet. Missy shows up.
And she's like, Oh, this is beautiful. Look at these. I love all the colors. It's so nice. Oh, my God.
I would just be like, take a picture of me here. Now, take a picture of me here. Now, take a picture of me here. It's so nice. And Missy's like, Marcos, like, thank you so much for coming.
We're going to do a non alcoholic wine tasting. And even Missy's like, Ah, OK. They're almost fine. Yeah, we're going to try all of them. Yeah, where's my wine?
So Marcos, like, well, I mean, the wine tastes like booze guys. And so they taste it. And I'm delicious. Wow. OK, can we have some wine?
Please. Wine? Wine, please. Wine. Everything.
So, um, they're like just a lot of these shows up.
She's like, Oh, look.
A room, a house that's full of yellow and pink.
How non-traditional. I am a surprise-traditionalist. So they are like congratulating her on the gender reveal and everything. And it's like very nice. And Micah has come by.
And Micah shows up and she brings like a little shirt, like a little hostess gift. Uh, for, for Margo. It's a sweatshirt for Della that says, "Mind your manners." A durable Lord. So like hosting us hard.
Like it's a lot of work.
“And I think it's so important to show gratitude for being invited.”
And it can just be the tiniest little thing to just be like, I was thinking about you. Thank you. And that's why I bring gifts. But when you give them, you have to say it like this.
I got you a gift, Marcos. Like that Margo? Marcos, like I've got. Please just sit down. So we go back over to Emma's flat.
Well, everyone else at Margo is just like waiting for their wine, their real wine. And Emma's just giving up who's to everyone. And there's a tree in my drink. Oh. And Kimmy's like, "Well, also, what have you been up to?"
He'd all like Martha. How's your crazy born? Oh, she's fabulous. Picked out the man-man's eyeball. And I said, "Well, I apologize."
But at least, now you have something interesting to tell people, right? Oh, God. You know that her bird. You have to wear goggles when you go a mile. And we see a flashback of Kimmy going to the house.
And Martha's like, "Oh, darling, cutie. Oh, there's champagne. Would you like something, cutie?" Oh, Kimmy.
“Would you like to wear some goggles just in case the bird comes onto your shoulder”
and tries to pack out your eyes. And it can be just stairs at her with her mouth, and her teeth leading. She's just like, "Uh." The fuck.
The fuck. You know, the reason why Marcos likes Margo is because it's like her bird. Just when you think you're not wearing goggles, the moment that you're not wearing your goggles, it picks your eyeballs up.
[crying] Stop it. But they're actually the same. She's just like a bobby. Mived fucking day.
You're coming from you. You know what? Kimmy's pissed off. Because Margo Avenue. That's what happened.
Mark's like, "Oh, really?" I've never been. She's embarrassing. No, she was trying to bother us to missy. And Margo sat on the other side.
She had to go left to ride. Left to ride, left to ride, left to ride, left to ride. And then Kimmy had to turn side to side. Has a lot of work for her. It's like, "No, no, no."
Margo just wants her attention. And that's why she wears her shirt. It's up to here. By the way, it's so funny that she's talking about how, like, like, "Oh, wow.
Look at how scandalous Margo is. Look at how revealing her outfits are. I mean, well, Emma's sitting. Her entire belly button is out. Emma's looking at her, like, "Um, no."
Oh, she had maneuvered you darling. It was a genius maneuver. And now you look furious. Simply furious. Oh, she looks so dumb.
I'm not, I'm not, you know what? I'm laughing at her. That's what I'm doing. I'm laughing at her. What?
Where Martha was, like, Wellington. She was genius.
And then we see first Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo.
And you're lost about that because you don't want to apologize. Well, well, apologize to Waterloo Darling because you lost this one. Oh, she was just clamoring for attention. Oh, but she's not just clamoring for attention. She's Wellington.
Oh, she is.
“That's why she wears tight the lower jumps.”
She has a bad style. Really bad style. Here she fucking does not. Can you? She's talking.
She's talking is one of stylish women in the world. Oh, my God. You're the first one. The outfits weren't hideous. Remember, you're the first one who said that they weren't hideous.
You remember that at the barney? You said it was hideous. How did your own damn mouth, Martha? Well, the jumpsuit I didn't like. She's perfect to pop from the jumpsuit.
Well, she did seem to weigh a whole bunch of trash bags sewn together when she visited me at the warehouse. But yeah, the jumpsuit was terrible. And we see this Margo in this, like, the lower jumpsuit. And Martha goes up toward just because I don't like this. I can't find the jumpsuit.
Well, look, she's been in LA. Where people just wear blue, blue lemon. Well, she's in Margo's world. She's not in LA anymore. Well, there's a lot of shake people in LA.
Margo's. It's just not one of them. Okay, okay. Just stop. Just stop. It's like, well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like, Emma's like, "Oh, my neck is itchy because of all this." So Emma's like, this is Kimmy's version of an intervention, which is quite aggressive. Oh, ultimately Kimmy's a very fair person.
And she always thinks objectively.
Kimmy should be a top barista. Really shame she got a trust button because she's wasted not being in law. Perestro means lawyer. Well, I have an allergic reaction to all of these girls. Oh, I generally love this girl. Don't worry. I genuinely love her.
Okay, well, you might love her, but that's not set here.
And pretend it isn't what it is.
“I mean, the girl dresses like a trash bag.”
Well, they're doing a slacking off Margo's clothes, which is progress. Margo is wearing clothes. She was in the last room, she was in London. It's a slacking off. Cool.
Here comes one right now. So now we go to Margo's house. And they're still having their wine listed. Margo's trying to make cook this dinner. And they're all sitting there watching and waiting for the wine.
I don't think she actually wants to give us wine. Like, oh, God, yeah, she's not so great at this. So we go back to Emma's house. And they're having like barata and fish. It's just like lovely and fabulous.
And Emma's like, Emma's giving a fish. She's like, look, I gave you a long thing to watch. Like that. She likes them short and fat. So Kimmy's like, well, you know what? This arse wasn't done for nothing.
Anything she can get in her mouth will do. So Emma is offering more drinks and Kimmy's like, of course I want another drink. Of course I do. I need it. You don't need it. You just prefer it.
I'm now I need it. They're literally just bantering. I love it. We are just watching them banter and cracking each other up. I am dying. This is, I'm like, this is the best show ever.
So much, it's like, oh, by the way, Kimmy, I don't like it tonight, just FYI. Paul don't. I don't like it. It's all not to being a bitch. Well, I'm all off of that.
It's not gonna subsist. But why are you being a bitch? We're out of control. We're so excited. We're so excited by this show.
We're so excited by this show. It's so good. So funny. They're really delicious.
“So she's like, um, yeah, well, why are you being a bitch?”
Well, at least there's enough surprises with me. She's absolutely not sorry. But you all being a cow. Why are you being a cow? What's happening at home? I'm God. Nothing's happening at home.
I just got a beautifully terrible vase by my child through it against a wall. I ax, I've been gave me some web on me. It's just a fabulous time, actually. Thank you for asking.
But I made my signature clams in a pan and never went to happy.
So no problems over here. Mark goes, the washful, which stands for the Mad Cow. To move this conversation. Everything's all right. Back to Margo's house.
Margo's like, by the way, I want to hear this conversation at the other dinners. Oh, so the others have met up with us without us as well. But you don't have the lineage darling, darling, darling, darling. Well, I can never show you what I'm doing.
But you don't have to do that. So I'm the only British person who gets stuck with the non-britz at the boring wine this dinner. Because, oh, one thing we did not mention is that when Margo finally did bring out the wine, she brought like a travel-sized bottle of like
Broseye, like Mirror of All Roseye. Like that bottle. And they're like, what the fuck? We're in London, lady. Give us a little size bottle. Darling. Well, I guess.
I never should have admitted that you didn't have nightmares.
Well, I'll tell you this. Kimmy was, you said that Kimmy was on the wool path for you. Margo's like, oh, yeah, my God. Were you there with Margo and Kimmy? And she's like, um, yes.
Well, what happened then?
“Um, well, um, um, um, did Martha tell you anything yet?”
I mean, she clearly did, because you know, while she said that, you know, well, I thought Kimmy and she's like gunning for you. Like, and I was like, excuse him. What? That's French French. Why for you?
She's like, and Mrs. Like, yeah, why? It's like you fucking bitch. Margo's like, yeah, fucking bitch, right? What happened? It's like, well, um, so, um, Kimmy sort of said, um, well, she doesn't like catch up on eggs for some foremost.
So let's get that out of one out of the way. And, uh, she just was like upset about that conversation in the car.
I've never been so uncomfortable.
Oh, my God, Margo's like, well, maybe Kimmy should never speak to me again. Well, that's a bit tricky for Martha then to be in the middle, you know? So when we go to the other flat, and Martha's like, "How are you in Margo? Going to resolve this, Kimmy? Oh, God, I don't know." I mean, it's, I don't actually have something against Margo.
Oh, I mean, she's just everything I didn't expect. Yeah, I mean, I don't, I'd perfectly like the woman. She's just stupid, slut trusser. So, shall I taste, shall I tell you something? It's serious.
I'm going to lower my chin into my clavicle.
Please, I'm sorry, Margo.
Just a friend of mine who's no Margo for about a decade. Hasn't seen her for some time.
“Caesar again at the Carlton party and tells me she's unrecognizable.”
Well, there you go, there you go, exactly what I'm saying. In terms of her manner, demeanor. What I didn't do, is that reportedly, since her marriage, Margo has become an absolute diva. She's vain, she's narcissistic, she's obsessed with money,
and she has become insufferable, and it's all about her all the time. And now I don't know whether this is true, but it certainly comes across as being quite likely. And then we see a montage of Margo, just being like, These are Japanese paths, a designer. Okay, and I'm wearing a vintage Westwood boot,
and a vintage-look-wash guard, everybody. I'm obsessed with Margo, just being in some other production that takes place in 1905, London. What I've heard is that her demeanor is terrible. Oh, she's become absolutely obsessed with money.
She's terrible, she's falling out of good society.
I've never heard of that.
I've never heard of that from people who just got money. He's just saying she's new money, but he's making other scandals. Completely unrecognizable. She walked in and said, "Who is this new specimen from the world?" Margo goes, "Well, she just got silver.
We wouldn't know about that, can we?" Margo said, "That shouldn't make people worse. But not she's not worse. She's amazing." Well, I'm telling you right now, I'm a Margo-lo-fuckie. Margo, she's not Margo.
So Emma is, Emma's just watching. She's like, "Well, I've never seen these two have a spat. I've seen them as a double night, tweedle-dum, tweedle-dum." There's stupid American muppets that sit in the theater. You know, the tweedle-dum.
And you see, like, Martha and Kimi just sitting at the table with both their, like, sort of, like, their kind of bobs. They're curly, kind of bobs, just talking to each other. They are, so, to muppets. And, like, I wouldn't say that they're Waldorf and Stadler,
but they are. It's just, it is a kind of, like, a perfect comparison. Well, it's perfect for us because we are those two muppets. And so do you. Compare, you'd like to see that, and then, like, have the triangle.
Whose funny, how's it like all? I love the show even more. So Kimi's like, "You mark my words. She's gonna fuck you all the more, Martha." The boy at Margo and I've been friends for 20 years.
She's never fucked me over yet.
Well, guess what? She already did. No, she didn't. Okay, well, then, I'm not a friend. I'm not a friend, then. But, back at the other dinner, Ladi Singh.
Kimi always says whatever she wants, she's gonna say to your face.
“So why is she so upset that they've been said to her face?”
The problem is, like, what Kimi said, and the way she spoke to both of you, is not okay. And the aggression was just a bit too much. I don't find that appropriate because I'm our traditionalists. So, Mike, it's like, well, the next time you see Kimi,
what do you think? I mean, how do you think you're gonna approach a situation? Don't the same thing about me. Please, I have a muppet show. Please, please.
Well, if you want to talk to me, she'll come to me, but I'm not going to approach her. It's like, okay.
Well, I look forward to seeing that awkward moment.
No, you won't, because we're going to squash up at the end of the episode in the next scene. Oh, well, I don't have a problem with Kimi. And if Kimi wants to bark at me, like, some deranged Cory, then she just will.
You know what I mean? I mean, like, I don't know. [laughs] A corgi, right? Doesn't shit corgi you guys?
She's not a corgi. I'm sorry. That's not the, if we're going to do like a doggy in person, like a comparison, I don't think that she's a corgi.
I don't know what she is. What would you say? Um, I don't know my dog reads well enough, but I don't, I just don't see Kimi as being a corgi.
“I could see her maybe being like a Maltese, you know?”
Okay. Like fans. This sort of how that fancy kind of like vibe. What's like a drunk fancy dog? I'm going to look at that.
Like drunk fancy dog. Oh, like maybe, and by the way, yes, we understand it's problematic to compare with in two dogs, but in this case, Margo introduced the comparison, and we just want to make sure that her comparison just wasn't good enough for me
in terms of like, it wasn't a high quality comparison. So as long as there's a whole lot. That's cute. There's a drunk bulldog on here. Okay.
So then we go to Emma's party and Kimi's like, "Well, I mean if someone stopped you in the park, I wouldn't have to fund a joke. But I did defend you. No yet then.
No yet then Margo." I said, "That's Kimi." You said, "Why you're still defending her?" Martha's like, "I feel like Kimi needs defend. If I feel like Kimi needs defending,
I will defend her if I feel like she is right." "Well, I hate, I hate you so much right now." And as much as I understand how this arose, I don't think she's right. "Well, it's your little playman.
Well, it's a little tough.
So then we go to a film studio.
“And Micah is doing a thing a manor's video with her.”
Her puppets. Oh, that's a god. These puppets. So I would love to teach adults how to be kind. And then we cut to Kimi, bringing up this dare.
I I heard your friend is a model. Yeah. You know, many manners is something that I see. It's it's just it's so important. You know, to teach the next generation kindness is what I would love to be my life's work.
Sorry, bitch. TikTok culture is here. It's all about the gender reveals and public shaming. Good luck with your puppets. Yeah.
And she's just like, "Oh my god, my husband's never in town."
But, you know, I'm sure he's going to rectify that soon. But in the meantime, I'm going to get this puppet show off to crown. It's going to be great. I'm sure my husband loves it. Wow.
“I mean, while I think all of us are thinking that man is cheating on you”
and he's leaving you. So, I hope this puppet show works out. Because I'm not sure that's because this man is cheating. Yeah. That thing, that felt thing hanging off your assistance arm right now
is going to be your new husband very soon. Yeah. So, hopefully goes well. So now we go to a restaurant with Kimi. And she comes in.
She's like, "Hello, tow for Blonk, Blonk. Thank you." So, Missy comes in. She's like, "Oh, you know, Kimi, she dressed so lovely. And I really want to hit her.
And I want to be like, "Fuck you, bitch."
But she's wearing an amazing bag.
It's just staring at me. And I'm like, "I fucking hit you." But I love your bag. Because Kimi's bag is there. It's like, "This son is shining on."
And I was like, "Hmm." Well, I'm really happy you actually wanted to meet Kimi. Well, I thought we should have a chart. Because I feel like something that was so unintentionally. You know, I'm like sad.
Because it was like magnified. And at this root thing. Well, I mean, from my point, I feel like we did have a really nice day. We got a very nice day.
And he'll someday be down and ruined it. Oh, that was you. Sorry. So Missy's like, "But when we sat down, I felt like I want to get to know people."
Well, when I did say something about it in the car. I didn't say it in a way that was like something very nagging up towards you. I just said, "Oh, I had a red about this. Um, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
More of that fight where Kimmy is like let me tell you something messy. There was no making fun And Margo is that what you said and expect an unexpected huge go back like a fucking hypocrite Margo's like that's not what hypocrite means go to fucking college
“Well, okay, I think it was really strong of her to stare stand up”
Oh, well, that's not standing up. I think that causing friction between people that with non-existence But I feel like you didn't value my feelings. Well, I didn't mean it in an intentional way to say something nugget of about your experience But but you said I did it for attention. Well, I Okay, well, I did I mean I kind of felt like that a little bit I did say that it was actually quite hilarious. We all had a great laugh in a car if you were if you would have been there
You would have actually really enjoyed it
She's like well, but it was never it was never supposed to it was never supposed to be for attention
Because okay, well fair enough. You know, I'm just not that time to death. Okay, I'm not like some Half-albang in half, you know, sweet-ish model Snowflake, right? I mean, I know you're from Scandinavia, but I know you're made of actual snow Okay, well, I mean look everyone has there what I call their crotch That's a coping mechanism some people find it in religion boring some people find it in humor
That's the best way, but you know I never judge people in what they want to use is what I call their crotch like I don't know what do you use as your crotch? Like just you know being born so basically like if you're saying that I'm rude You're kicking the crotch is off of a disabled person and you're the bad person now. So hot to make you feel I didn't actually turn it around like that. That was so funny and she's like, but you did judge me just wow all right
Well, I'm a little bit too. What's me? I know I realize a much more sensitive. I won't be aware of that This is like, wow, this is like I really appreciate that my bitch. She just insulted you Thank you so much Like you think that's a good thing and give me this world. Well, you're just your son, so that you probably put ketchup on your eggs and you probably don't like mayonnaise
And I and I will just leave you a while without going forward Kimmy tells us well, I don't want messy to be upset. I mean, she felt like people were just respecting her brother's stuff. I've been really bad
I feel really bad about it
You know, I am kind of getting learning to accept people as they are and like everyone does differently with things
And Kimmy this is how she deals with it and it doesn't come from a bad place, you know I didn't know what I was expecting coming near and I was like I really hope it's good and it's just like oh you were hoping I was Were you we're hoping I was gonna be standing here with like a knife So Missy's just glad that this is over right cuz Kimmy is terrified and Kimmy's like well She's half Swedish, but you know, I like the Albanian bed, you know, that one that side's got balls
She goes to Spain to Spain. I'm I actually have much more respect for from than anything else
“So oh, I don't understand why she keeps on saying alright Riz, E. G. O. D. Riz God, what's that all about?”
So Missy's like well, when it comes to Margo, I really think you guys should have a conversation I really don't think she meant it in a malicious way and I I really feel like she's quite genuine. Oh, well, no, I thought that too But you know Margo actually said to me the other day that when he had his garden party Her girl had come up to harm and said oh, I actually knew Margo from tech from years and years ago when she lived in London And I was talking to her tonight and she's a completely different person. She has got her acting hot on
Missy just looks shocked and I like that came he's like alright, I forgive you now. Let's ruin someone else to gather Well, this is how it often goes on these shows. It's like whoever delivers the message Like they deliver the message the other two people They they fight, but the fight is actually so intense because the message that they actually are compelled to make up and then It's the person delivered the message who's the one who gets burned. This is a classic pattern. Yeah, so Missy is like not ready to commit to this
She's like, I don't know. Well, I don't know either. Let me talk to Mark Morgan needs to sit down and reevaluate being a girl's girl
“Because she's a bit of a hypocrite. I think oh, and I'll say it to a vice”
Don't don Great show love it My heart is that and then we see a midseason trailer and it just looks super fun and off the rails and Kimmy and Missy go at no kimi and Martha go at it and then mark and Margo go at it. Would you really fun? This great moment where like I don't know like Margo and Mark are having some words and Mark was like like, oh my god
You're just like obsessive me, and you just thought it wouldn't be She goes you're so weird It's like this amazing Give it that he does and she doesn't know how to handle it It's great. I
Hope that Margo. I'm I'm sorry. I hope that Martha and kimi. I hope their friendship does not fall us under
“We see it happen all the time on these shows”
some hoping that we don't get like a season two where they're fighting I get a little worried about that. It's like when Caroline's Dan Barry and so if he's Dan Barry fought like I didn't like that either or like any other
Million shows where like the best he's fight
Probably will happen, but for right now pretty good. It's just being like you're a bitch and you were wrong and you were, you know They've just tell each other flat out No, I like that it seems like they are really friends, you know, so they probably get in the spats like this all the time So we'll see We'll see anyway
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