I Think I'm Feeling Overwhelmed Because My Life Feels Stuck — The Emotional Intelligence Needed to Return to the Child Within, Find Inner Peace, and Move Forward with Confidence

for more, knowing something is missing. Then this podcast is for you, so here's your host, Joe Medigan. Hello and welcome to we. Have you ever had one of those days where your mind won't slow down? Your thoughts race from one problem to the next.

You feel emotionally exhausted before the day has even begun. You know what needs to be done, but somehow you just can't seem to move forward.

“You tell yourself you're overwhelmed because life is busy, because work is stressful,”

because your relationships are complicated, because the world just feels like too much sometimes. But what if, what if, overwhelmed isn't really the problem? What if overwhelmed is simply the message? A message from a part of yourself that's been waiting for years to be seen, heard, and loved.

In this episode, I want to explore a different way of understanding overwhelmed. Because I don't believe we become overwhelmed simply because life is difficult. I believe we become overwhelmed when we drift too far away from the child we once were. The child who laughed without fear.

“The child who loved without conditions, the child who believed everything and anything”

was possible long before the world taught us to worry. Long before fear became our first language long before we learned to measure our worth by our success, our failures, or the opinions of others. As adults, we often try to solve overwhelmed by working harder, thinking harder, controlling more, are pushing through, but healing rarely begins by adding something new.

Sometimes healing begins by remembering, remembering the child within you who has never stopped

hoping, who has never stopped dreaming, who has never stopped believing that life was more than simply surviving. Today, we're going to explore the emotional intelligence needed to return to that child, not by pretending the past didn't happen, but by allowing the love, curiosity, trust, and wonder that still lives within you to become your guide once again, because the child

within you isn't gone, they're waiting, they're simply waiting for you to come home. My name is Joe Mitigah, and from around the world, welcome to we. While I want to welcome everybody here today, it's a beautiful day in Atlanta, Georgia,

middle of the summer, and it's just been an amazing, amazing summer, I have to tell you.

A lot of you know, my world has changed a lot, I launched my oldest son, he's now got his own apartment, he's a full-time resident in his own home, about 90 miles from here, he starts his college career in baseball, and he's super excited, you know, a new chapter of Wakes. For myself and my youngest son, most of you know, those of you that are new, welcome,

my youngest son is what's considered a modern day Mozart, his ability to see music, feel music, see patterns is far beyond the normal, and as he's learned those techniques behind the piano, he's now taking them out into the world.

And over time, I'm going to explain some of his successes, pretty amazing stuff, I have to

tell you. But it's really just been an interesting summer for me, a lot of changes, all good.

“I think I told everybody these past couple weeks that, you know, I was having this part”

of me, this higher part that guides me all the time, saying it's time to go back into silence, Joe, it's time to go back into silence. And for the first time in a long time, I felt the resistance saying, no, dear, God, please, please don't send me back into silence, please. And I was interpreting silence as solitude, and years ago, that's where my path was, silence

Now basically, my heart power was just simply telling me, you know, Joe, take your headphones off sometimes.

“It's time to get to know silence in a different way, and that's what I've been doing.”

You know, years ago, when my past wife and I are past separated, I went into a sacred silence in a healing position, and I started working on an 18,000 piece puzzle. I'm not a TV watcher, you know, obviously, I don't drink or drug. I made a conscious decision that I was going to put my overflow into my boys as a single bad.

So there was no pursuit of companionship. So to fill the space, I bought a dog named Zeus, a 15 pound puppy, this is 10 plus years ago, and I bought an 18,000 piece puzzle. Over the following years, in my silence, in my solitude, in my learning what it was life to be not married again, I put together that puzzle.

Today, it's on my wall and my puzzle room. And it's kind of cool how things go full circle, people have asked, "Well, you're going to do another one?" I was like, "There's no fricking way. I'm doing another big puzzle."

“Well, of course, as you're going to learn more and more if you're part of the weed podcast,”

and I say it all the time, there's a God, and it's simply not Joe. That's for sure. Well, sure enough, about a week ago, I hear this voice. I push against it in fear that it meant solitude, basically it just meant silence, loan behold.

I'm sitting there one day. I have my headphones on like normal. My boys are at both and gone a lot this summer, so it's literally me with myself and my dog Zeus who is getting so old, he sleeps most of the time, and I take my headphones off.

He's like, "Oh, shoot, thank God, all it was with silence, with no music."

And it's been amazing what I've heard.

Well, the next thing I heard was time to get another puzzle, and to just kind of match Joe's personality, I really don't do small, well, I just don't, it's not my style. So this time, I'm not doing an 18,000 piece puzzle. I'm doing a 40,000 piece puzzle. I share that because if somebody would have asked me a year ago, no way, there's just

no way.

“Well, there's a big way, and now what does that give me the opportunity to do?”

It gives me the opportunity to spend four, five, six hours a day in silence, and I'll let you know what I hear. So, you know, if you're new here, welcome, welcome from around the globe.

Humanity is waking up in a way that it's never happened before, and the concept of the

we is something that happened to me as a consequence of a spiritual experience back in September 2022, and the way the we podcast is literally expanding around the globe, top five and Norway, top 10 in Canada, already in presence in 16 different countries. It's just constant and conscious validation that we as a humanity are waking up. Why?

Because you couldn't listen to one of Joe's podcast if you weren't on a spiritual journey, you couldn't make it through one of my podcasts. Let alone last week's podcast, which I'm going to talk about here in a minute, if you weren't on a spiritual journey of some nature, you couldn't do it. So, in that the we podcast is basically doing something, no other podcast in Apple's history

has done, and that is the reach the global charts with just a man and a microphone, and I'm making a pretty bold statement. No one's ever done it before, but the caveat is, no big business behind, no big finance behind, no large careers behind, no massive social media behind, no billion dollars as a starting place.

Well, I don't think anyone else has reached the top global charts, man, and a microphone before.

And why do I always say that because it's not Joe, it's not the man, it's the message.

And the message is the next era of message, it's the next generation of the new message out there. The new thought movement that came in 40 years ago brought conscious awareness to people that you could literally hear your thoughts, where when I grew up in the 50s, the 60s and 70s, 80s, the concept didn't exist, society in the masses was completely unconscious

to the idea you could hear your thoughts. Well, the past 40 years, there's been a whole movement, the new thought movement, and it's constantly refined itself, and constantly developed itself, and constantly has gotten into a real mainstream idea, and I love it.

understanding.

“And that's what the Wepodcast is all about.”

The Wepodcast is not about telling you what to do. It's about sharing my experience strength and hope with you.

I've created the voices of We, which is the second episode, which are Tuesday episodes,

and over time, I'm going to be sharing people's stories. I've shared up story last week in the past two weeks of a couple that I've been supporting, and just so everybody knows the truth, the stories are real. The names are made up, the states are made up, the ages are made up, all of the rest is made up, to keep the solitude and the sanctity, the sacredness of my sharing with people,

or people sharing with me, the story is real, the details are made up. And I share the story with fact, so I can share about it passionately. It's not a made up story, but the characters and the names and the ages and where they live, that's all created, that's all made up. And kind of brings me into last week's episode.

I share with people all the time, and if you're new here, welcome. I tell people, I'm going to be as open and as intimate and as honest as I can possibly be. And last week was one of those weeks.

If you've listened to any of my previous episodes, there's several of those episodes

that I literally weep the entire time through. I cry. The episode that says Wayne Dyer quoting Jesus, that episode was created the day after my father died. And I cry most of the way through.

“I pray to God, I never have to be that vulnerable again, because the only way I could ever”

get that vulnerable again is the vulnerable as I was there is that something or someone deeply close to me would have to make their transition. I pray that doesn't happen anytime soon. If it does, I'll be right here sharing it with you. Well last week, it wasn't about grief.

It was about anger, absolutely angry. And I have no problem sharing the bigness of my anger. I don't. Just like I don't have any problem sharing the depth of my grief. I don't.

Why? Because it's all part of us being human. We have four basic emotions, mad, glad, sad, and scared. And we have to get those emotions out in the world. And I want the world to know it's perfectly okay.

If you listen to my podcast and listen to the wording, I constantly am saying, I am angry. I am this. I am that. Why? Because when you're stating your truth and sharing it from a passionate position and sharing

it from a bigness, like I did the last episode, it's a real life thing. And I'm not crossing anybody's boundaries. And I'm speaking a truth that needs to be spoken. I want to continue to remind people, visit my website, jomitagad.com. My first book, filling the void, will be there soon.

I'm offering it for free. You're going to hear me over and over and over. Visit jomitagad.com because at that website, you're going to be able to get all of my stuff for free.

Books are always going to be there for free.

Well, the first book, the website is just about out. The delay in the website is because we keep expanding it, making it more interactive. We've created a book club, we've created an interactive experience, so it's going to be very cool. So just continue to check it, jomitagad.com and download the book.

Well, my son comes in, my son's, my boys, most of my oldest. He listens to all these podcasts.

“He took calls of me this morning, he says, what that blank blank blank?”

I should stop cussing you're better than that. He says, man, did you or mad that last episode? It's like you're right. I was mad. I was angry.

Why was I so angry? On episode two, on the Tuesday episode, I was in grief and empathy because my friend relapsed, and I could just imagine him and his pain sitting at the bar drinking, I had deep empathy for that. Why?

I know that experience. His wife, I had deep compassion for her because she's really sad, loss, fear, terror, concern, all the above. Episode one, empathy, and compassion. Episode two, the Thursday episode, rage, anger, mind, why?

Because the sorry drunk now is taking his anger out on his wife. Here's how Joe defines him. When you're acting out and you're in the throes of your disease and you're keeping your emotional challenge to yourself, I have deep empathy for you. I do.

I have deep compassion for the pain you're in. I do. When you start taking your rage out on another human, I have zero tolerance, not a tolerance.

Now, I will venture to say, and I don't know this statistically, but the mass majority of rage being taken out between two people is men taking it out on women. Is that the totality? I'm sure it's not, but it's a massive majority, and I have no tolerance for it, none. And I'm just going to continue to say that over and over.

And I'm going to give you some solutions, and I'm going to tell you why I was the way I was. And what I'm going to tell you what we can all do about it. And I was raised in a deeply traditional Italian family. My father that you've heard me talk about before was a deeply Italian traditional man.

He was a man's man. I said all the time, where is this kid's dad? Where's the man in the family? And when I say man, I'm not excluding females. I'm saying, who is the leader here?

Who's standing strong? Who's setting the boundaries? And a lot of times that is mom, as well as dad. I can't speak for mom because I'm not a mom. I'm a dad.

So please understand, I'm not excluding by gender. When I say where's the dad, I can only say that because I'm not a mom, I'm a dad. And I can share from my experience.

“And I was raised by a father that deep respect was the only thing that mattered.”

I'll never forget. He told me a story. And this is where you know, if you ever want to know why it took Joe so long, because

I was basically raised by a dinosaur, truly Italian, yes.

And I just have to say it straight up, I was in the center of a deeply Italian community. The police chief was Italian, the fire chief was Italian, everybody was Italian, and my father fit right in. My father was second generation, his father was first, 90% of my dad's friends were first generation.

They were born in another world and they came here. And you know, I see that people asked you to add in the mafia, no. Was the mafia real thing, yes, big city, all that? Was that a culture thing? No.

Why do I know that? Because I was raised in the center of it. And if it would have been, I'd be telling you about it right now. It's not. It just isn't.

The movies are the movies.

“Love the movies, but was it deeply entrenched with the mafia and control, no, falsehood?”

Now, that being said, it didn't mean that that culture wasn't full of men. And it was, full of rough men, tough men, they took things into their own hands.

I will never forget, I'm 15 years old.

My dad tells me a story. And now, again, this is in the 70s, probably somewhere in there, early early, 80s, 70s. And some kid, some 20 something year old, backhanded, the daughter of one of his friends. And my dad told me the story later, he says, son, you know, you just don't, you treat women with respect.

We respect your mother first and you treat women with respect. You know what they did to that kid? They found him, he got down, my dad put a loaded 357 in the kid's mouth, pulled the trigger back and said, if I ever see you again, you will never see your mother again. Think, hear me, my dad had a 357 loaded hammer back in this kid's mouth, why?

Because he hit a woman. You I can don't violence, no, I don't, you know, I want to, I took me so long, that was who I was raised by.

“I asked my dad later, like, I don't know, eight, nine, ten years, I said, "Dad, why?”

Why did you do it?" So, I saved that kid's life, Joe, I was like, what are you talking about? If the father of that daughter would have found him before I did, hit a buriedie, and not thought of thing about it. Is any of that right or wrong?

No, that's just how it was.

No, goodbye, you leave right now, never to be seen again.

And you can only imagine that kid left out. Why do I say all of them? Because is there a way in today's society to have the same type of strength without threatening with fear? Yes, there is.

How? Societies come together. You come together in strength. Never notice how the bully never, ever picks on somebody bigger than them, or with the same type of strength.

You ever noticed how an empowered woman who has the capacity and the esteem and the

The people that get bullied, and I'm going to say women, I know there's men too.

I'm not a man, so I can't, I'm not a woman, so I can't speak from that side. I see it all the time. The women that typically get bullied are the women that have been emotionally beat up. Sometimes physically, but mainly the majority, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually beat up their entire lives.

And then they come across some bozo that thinks he has the right to take his rage out.

“That's what happened last week, and I have no tolerance for it.”

None. And I'll tell you what happened in that story here a little bit later. And then my son says, "Well, that if she's beat up so bad, why does it she leave?" Well, that's why this title is what it is. I feel overwhelmed because my life feels stuck.

Why does it she just leave? She's stuck. Why? And that's what this particular episode is going to be. Last week's episode was talking about more of the addiction and the powerlessness of addiction

and all that. Addictions kill physically, codependents kill spiritually. They kill emotionally, they kill your esteem. And we're going to talk about them and talk about the solutions. Like, how do we get through it?

What do we need to do? How does the overwhelmed that causes you to feel so stuck? Why are you stuck? And why are you emotionally overwhelmed? And what can we do about it?

“And that's what I'm going to talk about in today's episode more and more.”

You know, what is codependence? Co-dependence is a social belief system that has been so skewed over the years. It's been so misrepresented over the years that it basically were taught that our role in life is to make sure everybody else is okay first and you second. That's what good girls do.

They make sure everybody else is happy. That's what moms do.

They make sure their kids needs their first and they always get last.

Anything wrong with that? No, as long as there's some level of balance for a mom who's got little kids. Other than that, no. And the awareness is what we have to become aware of first, truly, because society has created an environment that has created a social delusion.

And I'm going to talk about codependence from a social position, from a worldly position on my Thursday episode, but here personally, a person gets so confused because there are taught from a young that it's not okay to take care of yourself. That's called selfish.

“You're a selfish little boy for thinking you should come first.”

That's selfish or a little girl who wants to be pretty, well, you know, that's just a statistical. Who do you think you are? How we are trained as little kids, causes it, it really does. And then, of course, the consequence of abandonment neglect, we grew up.

Why are we the generation of change? Because most of you on this podcast, except my 19-year-old. I don't know how many 19-year-olds are listening to your mind does. But for the most part, people that are going to be listening to this podcast are going to be 40 to 70, my opinion, all around the world, men and women together.

And the reason we are the generation of change, truly, because we were raised in an era of time, where the consequence are the consciousness of emotionally supporting a child. It didn't exist. New thought movement didn't exist when I was born, an emotional support of a child. It didn't exist.

It just didn't. 30, 40, 50 years ago. So the consequence of that is basically, we are either abandoned emotionally or neglected emotionally from day one, even in the most loving environments, even in the safest environments. Even in the environments where you physically had everything you needed your whole life.

But I can promise you, 99 percent of you, even though you probably had nice clothes, always

were eating, always had water, always were safe, were never abused, never abandoned and never screamed at. Well, if most of us all screamed at, but never abused by screaming, it still weren't emotionally embraced. Why?

Because the consciousness of the day, 40 years ago, it didn't exist. It does now.

And you can see it. I see it all. I see it everywhere. Those of us today are telling our kids things differently than our parents told us. I'm going to continue to remind you, tell your kids you love them.

If you can't verbally do it, text them, show them an emoji, tell them you're proud of them. Let today be the first day. I said this a week or two ago, hopefully people heard it two weeks ago and they started and now over the past two weeks, they can look back and they say, "You know what, I sent

my daughter who's 36, I love you, text." For no reason.

“That's why communication is such part of the reason we are the generation to change.”

And I don't care if your daughter, you've never sent it before.

That today be the first day. Let your daughter sit there in confusion saying, "Is this really my dad?" He just said, "I love you. I wonder if he's sick or ill." Because that's what they'll think.

They really will. They'll just think something's wrong. It's okay. Let them think that. Let today be your day to start the process.

Why? Because that's all part of the generation of change. And your kids are already doing it to their kids, most start. Now, the challenge what happens, right? When we don't get our emotional needs.

“And that's why this particular episode, the emotional intelligence needed to return”

to the child within us is where I'm going in this episode. Because there's an emotional essence in you. I call it the inner child. You call it whatever you want. The inner part of you, that is part of your emotional development, it wasn't developed

emotionally as a little boy or as a little girl, it just wasn't. Now, there are many more women today than men that have kind of grasp hold of this concept,

a much larger percentage of women, never completely lost their ability to emote.

Large percentage. And you can see that just in the way at a funeral. You see any funeral or a wedding, you'll see women crying a lot more than men. Why? Does that make them better or worse?

That just means they're more connected, they never got disconnected from their emotional sense of being. Well, it's not the case for a lot of men, it's not. And I can tell you, when men are acting out their rage, it's because they've got a deep hurt little kid inside there and the only reaction they know to pain is rage.

Probably because somebody raged at them, does that justify it? No. Absolutely zero nada, nothing justifies taking your rage out on somebody else, nothing. But I want you to help identify the voices in your head that keep you stuck. Why are we stuck in life?

“The only reason you're stuck in life is because you're pursuing the solution to your”

stockness from the outside in. Hear me, the only reason you feel internal feel stuck is because you believe the answers to your internal feeling of stuck are outside of you.

That's the confusion, the emotional intelligence needed to shift where the solution is when

I'm going to talk to you about today, emotionally the solution to your stockness is inside of you, not outside of you. Why is it so hard to do? Well, it's so hard to do because we were raised in a society that validates almost literally celebrates and defines as if it's okay that you are responsible for everybody else.

Lot of society believes that and it's a complete falsehood, you are responsible for you. Today are responsible for them, I can't we do it because of the voices. The mental side of co-dependence and why is silence so important? And I'm one of these guys that if I'm going to tell people to do stuff then I typically do it and I'm the guy that if I'm going to tell you to go 30 seconds I'm going to go

six hours. That's just me. That's just my personality. I kind of accepted myself for who I am and I spent a lot of a long time I have to tell you. And if I'm never to have a female around me, she better be empowered as hell because I

tend to vibrate people I really do. Well, here's the story. This is what I'm going to tell everybody on this podcast. You're going to hear a lot now as I'm working a 40,000 piece puzzle, three or four or five, six hours a day in silence.

So listen to me. If I can do six hours in silence, you can do 60 seconds. All I'm asking is to try 60 seconds. Why? Because during that 60 seconds, what causes you not to be able to do it?

Voices in your head. So extrapolate that the other way. How can Joe possibly go six hours with no music, no sound, no nothing, just me and the

How can I do it?

Because I don't have the voices anymore.

Why? Because for years I've been literally living the steps I'm telling and teaching people what to do here. I live it all the time.

“Well, if I can go six hours, you can go 60 seconds and that's what I'm going to ask you”

to do. And when you're in that 60 seconds, make sure you have a piece of paper because the voices, when you're trying to be silent, when nothing outside of you is distracting you, you're going to hear voices, right? Those voices down.

All of them, the favorable ones and the not so favorable ones.

And the code of pen that position, how people get stuck and they can't move forward.

They can't get unstuck. This they have voices like this, the voices will say, well, I have to help him. He can't make it without me. Joe, you don't understand. It's my responsibility to make sure he is okay.

You know, Joe, he's my husband. I have to take care of him. I have to fix him. I have to. What?

And then it goes from the I have to to, I'm obligated. I can't explain, Joe, I just feel obligated. I have to make sure he drinks water. Joe, I'm obligated. I have to take him to the doctor.

Folks, any sentence in your head that has another human being in the center of it. That's code of penance. Hear me? Any and all voices, any and all sentences in your head describing your behavior that has another human being in your sentence is a codependent sentence.

All of them, except a mom who's taken care of a three-year-old. And when a mom says, I have to wash my three-year-old. That's a fair statement. Yes, you do. You can't do it for themselves, not talking about moms.

I'm not talking about children. I'm not even talking about your kids. We'll get to that in a different podcast. I'm talking about the same voice that you treat your seven-year-old daughter with, that you treat your seven-year-old mother with.

That's the voice I'm talking about. I'm talking about the same voice how you treat your nine-year-old son, the same voice you treat your 39-year-old brother. That's the voice I'm talking about. And why is it so important to get this because every time you have a voice in your head talking

about having to take an action step for somebody else, you're abandoning the inner part of you, who's in pain.

“Hear me again, every voice in your head that is telling you you have to take an action”

step to fix, to rescue, to help, to save, to make better somebody else, you're abandoning yourself, your consciousness outside of you instead of inside. We feel overwhelmed and stuck, why overwhelmed, because no matter how hard you try, over and over and over and over and over and over and over, you cannot fix somebody else. You can't do it.

We wonder why our life feels such a failure because if your consciousness says I have

to fix them for me to be okay and you never can fix them, you're in a life of defeat,

you're in a life of failure, you're in a life of overwhelmed and stuck. I stuck because, well, Joe, you just don't understand, I say this all the time, right? Because I hear this from people I've supported, Joe, you just don't understand. If I don't get him as vitamins, he's not going to take him. He's 60 years old, maybe he doesn't want to take him vitamins.

I know somebody has to, says who, well, Joe, you know if he doesn't, you wonder why he gets some out of you. I told one of my friends, you wonder why your 60-year-old husband gets so mad at you, because he has told you 40 times, I do not want to take vitamins.

“You think my codependent friend cares what he has to say?”

No, why? Because she knows better. She wonders why he gets mad. Now in her heart, she really believes she's helping him, she's not, she's actually betraying him, she's actually controlling him, and cloaks it in love.

And it's the cloaking in love, folks, is why codependents is so hard to see. Your heart hurts, will tell you, I'm just loving them.

Well, that's a lot, you're not, you're masking your own pain, that's why you're doing it.

And that's a challenging truth, I'm going to show you how I know, and I'm going to tell you what to do, so that we don't keep masking our pain and trying to fix somebody else. Stock is because you're on a hamster wheel, going nowhere with the belief system that overwhelm can be fixed, can be healed in you by fixing somebody else, it can't be. That isn't where it gets fixed.

It gets fixed by embracing the part of you who is hurting. How can I determine the difference? How do you know the difference between the things? Well, love is about sharing your overflow. Love happens when you're in the state of being called empathy or compassion.

Stock fix, hear me, love, like actual love, not this made up nonsense, you fix my whole is I'll fix yours.

Do you know that 98% of all marriages, this is a fact, I just know it is.

98% of all marriages, two people meet each other, man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, I don't care what the couple is. They get around each other and they say, wow, I feel so much better being around that person. The other person says, wow, I feel so much safer being around the other person.

So as long as I'm around her, I feel better as long as she's around me, I feel safe and from the state of I feel better and from the state of I feel safe, they label that love and then they get married. And then they wonder why they're emotional communion breaks up, deteriorates and eventually their past separate.

Why? Because that's not love.

“If you have to be around another human being to feel better, my question is why don't”

you feel better before you go, wound and hurt?

If you have to be around somebody to feel safe, what part of you are you abandoning neglecting and dismissing, that is causing you to feel unsafe prior to going. And then people say, well, that isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, you know, I just like being in people's company, I get it. No question, I'm not opposed to sharing company with each other.

I think it's fantastic. I'm questioning what energy are you participating in while the two of you are together? Are you the one giving the overflow? Are you the one taking the overflow? Now, did you hear?

I said overflow, which is compassion and empathy, not fix. Well, Joe, I mean, it's life because, I mean, it's going to tell you a secret, Joe. I know what he needs, I'm his secret. Now, you're not, you're his co-dependent, because of that a thousand times. And why do I say it like that, because humanity has a consciousness, literally lives

in the delusion, in the made up of illusion, that you fix my holes, I'll fix yours, we'll call it a match made in heaven, and we create relationships out of that. Now, did that use to work? It did. Why?

Because neither party was growing. Why is the divorce rate through the roof?

“Why do people outgrow their partner now all the time?”

Because the reason they got together 20, 30 years ago, you fix my holes, I'll fix yours, and we'll call it love and get married. Well, over time, if that's still working, they're still married. But if it's not working, what 90% of the time what it means is that one party are the other, started learning how through emotional support, spiritual awakenings, emotional

healing, spiritual growth from the emotional and spiritual side of themselves. One party are the other, started growing, filling from the inside out, creating a relationship power than themselves with a power greater than themselves. So the exact human that 20 years ago, they needed to be around for them to feel better, and therapy are spiritual experiences.

They're feeling better inside out through healing, through growth, through awakening. And they're partner now. They're sitting there looking at their partner saying, "I don't need you anymore to feel good. I already feel good."

Then the big question is, "Well, if I don't need him to feel good, or I don't need hurt to feel good, why am I here?"

“Well, a lot of that, why am I here as being asked now?”

A lot. Why? And now more than ever before because humanity is waking up. She, meaning humanity as a she, a feminine energy she is waking up to the feminine side

What does that mean?

“We're all as humans made up of a male side and a female side, the male side, mental”

physical, for millennia, the mental side dominated, thought and physical.

The past years, the female side is waking up, stronger, faster, at a faster rate than ever before. And what does that mean? On the feminine side, the emotional part of you, the mad glad sad and scared, is in communion with the spiritual part of you, which is a communion, a connection, an interaction

between you and a power greater than yourself. Call it what you want. Well, the emotional part is the hard part. The other part is a pretty good part, although that gets confusing, is crap, the spiritual part, because people are raised in the delusion that God is co-dependent, just like they

are. People tell me all the time, I'm just praying for God. But that's fantastic. What do you ask in God to do? Well, God's going to fix me.

No, he's not. God's going to rest. Jimmy Joe. No, he's not. No, Joe, you don't understand.

I just have to chase God faster. The only reason God hasn't fixed me yet, I'm doing something wrong. Just ask. I'm not going to bring more religion in. It's all nonsense, folks.

God is not here to fix you. God didn't create your problem, humanity did. God didn't create your separation, humanity did. God didn't cause your angst humanity did. Well, what the hell, Joe, God's not going to fix me or rest, give me what good is God.

God gives you the strength and courage to walk forward and heal yourself. Now, that into a story here in a minute, back on why codependence is a killer, it's a killer of a steam and will get to the emotional side 20 years ago. I had family members, three of them, all hooked on the craziest drugs of the day.

And my mother, who was tough, tough as nails, was an enabler and, you know, people basically

walk into her house and steal.

“I came in there one time and I said, Mom, you have to change the code of your garage door.”

I won't do it, Joe. Mom, they're stealing from you every day. I won't do it, Joe, Mom, they're stealing, they're effing stealing from you. Joe, they're family and family comes first. I said, Mom, and you're going to effing kill them.

If you keep supplying them with the money to go by drugs, you can only imagine that conversation ended. My mother was not happy. She cussed at me, she stormed me out of her house and I did not cuss at my mother. I told her the truth, you keep letting these young people who are completely powerless

to their drug addiction, you keep letting them come in your house and steal from you and do nothing you're contributing. Period to their death, why? Because the drugs of today, you take one too many pills because you got drunk, you die. There's a like that before.

Did she ever change the code? No. They stole her wedding ring.

“Now, my mother was probably in her 70s, they stole her wedding ring, pond it for $5.”

I think she'd ever change that code. No. Why? She cloaked it and family comes first and love. It's all BS, did she know it was BS?

No. She believed with all of her heart, pure code dependence. Pure code dependence. Now as I telling her not to feed them, no, all I was saying change the code on the garage so in the middle of the night when you're sleeping, they don't rob you blind.

She never did, she never changed.

One of those boys died, not because of her, but because of other complications. The other two, now, 20 years later, families successful doing their thing. Was she right? No. She has a contributor.

Why do I say that? Because I'm talking to all you family members out there right now that think it's loving to support your drug addict, kid, or your alcoholic family member. It's not. They're not.

Now, I'm not telling anybody what to do, but I am telling you, it's time to get help.

My mother needed therapy. She wasn't going at 75. Why? Because she firmly believed she was doing the right thing. Was she?

No, she wasn't. Why? Because they had open access. She had all sorts of nice stuff. They had open access to her stuff.

It would basically go to her house, walk in, steal, walk out, go to the pawn shop, pawn

it, and go get drugs, happen for a long time. So if you're listening here, and you think you're being loving and supportive to your drug addict, son or daughter, you're not by allowing them to have more money. You're not.

“The best thing that could have happened for one of these kids was that they got caught stealing”

something and went to prison for 12 months. Jail for 12 months. That would have been the best thing possible. Why? Because the path there headed, they were going to die, they were going to overdose.

One of these boys, literally, parents were big in the AA program. They believed that drug addiction of today is a similar to alcoholism. It is not folks, it's different, it's completely different. The drugs of today are synthetically designed to make your body crave them, synthetically designed, drug addiction is not a disease, alcoholism is a disease, drug addiction of today

is not a disease. It is designed by chemist, one pill, body craves, kid, human, boy girl can't stop. Those are facts, look it up, not alcoholism. One of the boys ended up in a treatment center for following five years. The only reason they took him is because his parents were long time AA people, they took

him young. The other boy we shipped to my dad and for nine months, my father did not let this human being out of six feet of his sight for nine months, six feet for nine months, that's how they got him over it. Do I suggest you to one of those treatment, yes, sitting on 70 for nine months, probably

not. And if you're contributing, if you can't stop yourself, you need help. Next week, I'm going to talk about a story about a man, one of my contributors, who had to tell his college age daughter, no, you cannot come home because she was addicted to drugs.

“I'm going to tell that story on next Tuesdays episode and why do I tell all that story?”

Because the power of the brain, the thought process of the brain, my mother believed with all of her heart that what her head was telling her was true. She's family, Joe, F, you get out of here. Well, she was stuck in her own head and how we get you unstuck. Hopefully, you're not somebody who has family members on challenges like that.

But it might not be drugs, it's going to be something else, it's going to be, you're trying to get your husband a diet and he doesn't want to. You're trying to get your wife to stop going out every Thursday night, she doesn't want to.

The problem is folks, you can't control somebody else.

The only reason you're trying to is because of your own pain. How do I know? Because when you look at somebody and you see their life and destruction, the pain you're feeling, your brain is telling you, I'm feeling their pain. So I have to fix them.

“The facts are you're not feeling their pain, you're feeling your pain.”

Hear me, when you see somebody who is in destruction, physically, emotionally, with alcohol, with drugs, with whatever's going on in their life. And your head says I need to fix them because I see their pain. I feel their pain, Joe, you don't understand, they're in pain. I have to fix them.

The pain you believe is theirs is yours. For me, the pain you're experiencing in your belly, when you see a loved one, destroying their life, that pain is your pain, not their pain. How do we get to your pain is the key?

Well, first off, we have to write down all the voices.

After write down the voices, I said, I have to help him. I can't leave him there. I feel so bad for him. I feel sorry for him. He has no friends.

All of those voices, folks, all of those voices. Did you hear what I was saying? I feel sorry for him. He has no. He needs me.

He this, he that or she has no one. She's all alone. She needs to be rescued. Any voice in your head. And when you're feeling pain, as somebody else's needs in your head, codependent belief.

The other is, and you have that codependent belief, is because you've got a hurt in your

So what's the key? The key is the silence.

Get yourself in the 60 seconds of silence and listen for the voices.

When you hear the voices, write them down. When you really understand that the pain you're feeling is yours, not theirs.

“That's how we connect to the inner sense of yourself.”

That's how we connect to the inner emotional you. I call that inner emotional you, your inner child. I call it your inner child. You can call it whatever you want. I'm going to on the podcast called the inner child.

And the child doesn't mean you're 6, 7, 8. It could be the essence of you that's 18, 19. It could be the 25 year old in your. It doesn't matter the age. It just matters.

There's a part of you in you. I kind of coined the term when I'm working with people, I say, "Sit's your backside on your couch." I hear what your head is telling you. I hear your head is telling you.

I got to fix them. I got to rescue them. I got to help them.

The problem is by helping an alcoholic, you're participating in their dad.

And I mean that literally, is it your responsibility that they're killing themselves? No, of course not. But you're not helping them by not allowing them to hit a bottom. 99.999999, I was the only person I ever knew in 10 years, 20 years of being around the program.

I was the only person I ever heard the story of that had a spiritual experience. Every other human that walked through those doors, and I was around thousands of them. They hit a bottom and because of that pain in the bottom, they sought help. Well, what the codependent doesn't understand is by making the alcoholic's life softer, you're keeping them from their bottom.

And if they don't hit a bottom, they have no need to go pursue help. Literally. Well, how do you stop fixing them when you become consciously aware? The emotional intelligence needed to stop fixing them is to take that window of time, hear your own voices that have another person's name in the sentence.

And then sit on your couch, long enough, and ask inside yourself who in me is hurting. That's the key. How do we become unstock when you're in pain?

“You have to start bringing your awareness inside instead of fixing outside.”

I'm going to repeat that. When you're in pain, how do we become unstock when you're in pain instead of following the voices that are saying you have to fix somebody else, followed the intelligence, the emotional intelligence, followed the inner essence that says, ask inside of you who is hurting. Just ask that question and you will hear a voice, you will feel a feeling, you will remember

a something when you bring your awareness inside during that pain instead of projecting outside. That's how you heal. That's where the healing process starts. So, there are a tremendous amount of exercises that can be taught, dual hand journaling,

writing the voices and sharing with somebody else, giving a voice to the hurt. Folks, if you see somebody in destruction and it causes you a pain that bulls you over, please get help, please get help because that is a reflection, that is a message. With the overwhelm is so big when you see somebody else in destruction, that's a message from the inner you, the deeper you that it needs attention.

It needs focus, it needs your awareness brought inside to it versus outside fixing somebody else.

“And please understand, the repubcast is about awareness, you have to seek additional help to get”

support long term, eventually sooner than later, very close now, I'm going to have contributors that right now, I would give a 10 minute explanation of how people can help you support that deeper part of you, I call it the inner child. As we return to the child within us, in the beginning, it's going to be sad and angry voices. It's going to be a scared voice, mainly mad and sad, for men, typically the anger is in you.

First, you're just taking it out on your partner, for women, typically it's sadness first.

Every time you fix them, you're abandoning you, think about it like this. Every time you try to fix your 39 or 42 or 72 year old brother, who's a grown man, every time you try to fix them, you're abandoning the 7 year old, the 8 year old, the 10 year old, the 12 year old little girl in you.

“And I say that because that's what's happening, truly, the answers to your overwhelm is not”

because your external world is so chaotic, it's because of the belief system that says, my answers to overwhelm are fixing my outside world. The reason you feel stuck is because the belief is unstuck comes from fixing the outside world. If I could just fix him, I could move forward, I eat not feel stuck.

The problem is, stuck heels when awareness comes inside, not from the outside in my friends.

And why I get so big, and I want to go back to the story, my dad's story. Do I condone violence? Absolutely not. Do I condone the bigness that community portrayed to protect a female that could not protect herself? Yes. The style in which they did it was at our cake? Yes, do I condone violence? No. Condone, bigness, community support. 98% of the people that I support, I've never met.

This couple in Connecticut, I've never met. We started interacting a little bit online. She sees the stuff I do. We start connecting, I've never met her, zero. But when she reaches out, she now has somebody that can help her. The way that story continued last week, they made it through those couple of days

and they were out of town, they get home.

And she says to me, "I'm concerned, he's going to go do drugs."

I said, "Get all the money out of the bank." "Well, Joe, I can't do that. He'll be mad at me if I do that." "Well, Joe, how will he?" And I said, "Stop talking. Stop." "Can you ask God for help right now?"

Yes. This is what I want you to do. Ask God to give you the strength to take that money out of the bank. It was a rent money. These are people that work their back sides off and they're barely making it. And rent money was due, coming up now, four or five more days.

Take the money out of the bank. You think she immediately did it? No, she did it. They get back. And of course, like couples do, they have GPS on the phones. And she realized, "He wasn't back an hour

“where was he headed to buy drugs. How did she know?”

She know why the drug dealer lived." So, she immediately got the strength because she was praying. Here's a single largest challenge with prayer. "Dear God, rest, give me. Dear God, I know you're there. You're going to make everything better."

"No, that might be a religious perspective. If you're probably enough, God's going to rescue you." It's not a spiritual perspective. It's not. Ask God for strength to walk through the fear. Well, that's exactly what she did. She walked through the because it was terrifying for her to do that.

And you know, long behold, you know exactly where the man was going to buy drugs. Literally to spend their entire rent, which would have been $2500 on drugs. You know what he said to her afterwards? "Thank God, you took that money because I would have spent every penny of it." It's what he said.

Now, was he any nicer yet? Not yet, but because she had the courage because God gave her the courage to remove that money and not the codependent voice. I have to. He'll be mad. I'm afraid what he'll do. He's going to be upset. She had the courage.

That's God for strength. She took that money out. And did he get sober the next day? No? Was he pissed? Yeah, a little bit. Relieved? Yes. Did she put a nail in the coffin by having the courage to stay autonomous?

No. In fact, it was the opposite. She basically saved him and their rent and her angst

from $2,000 more drugs. And after the $2,000 was where the drugs is done, then you'd be in the exact same spot. So she prayed for courage, prayed for strength. Did everything get better? No? It didn't. A couple days later.

“And what did I say? Safety. You have to get safe.”

Get safe. Get the money out and get safe. Go to your sister's house. She says a sister or brother or something. Go to your sister's house and be safe. And then she'd send me text. You know, I talked to Johnny's sister. I got text from Johnny's sister and Johnny's mom. And they're all mad at me because I pushed Johnny over the edge.

The 14 years he was sober. I've 14 months he was sober. But John's sister and John's mom

“is blaming his wife for pushing him over the edge. Then I realized that John stopped going to”

meetings a month before. Why do I say that? Because if you're one of the moms are the sister of the alcoholic and you don't stand up, you're not helping. That's strength from community. Just like my dad did in the delusion of his nonsense. Strength from community. Why did my friend make it this time? How was she able to do it different? Because she had a voice which happened to be mine this time. That could offer experience, strength, and hope in a different way than she'd

ever had before. Did I do anything for her? No. But did I give her the tools? Pray for strength.

Encourage. Yes. Everybody on this podcast today can do what I did when you see somebody in challenge. Rescue? No. Help. Yes. Support. However, you can support. Holding a blind eye to an active alcoholic, you're not helping. And I know it's not easy. And I'm not saying confront the alcoholic. I'm saying don't condone the behaviors. Don't condemn the partner. You don't know what that partner's going through. I said to the wife. I said, I wonder how long the sister who's just

righteous. You know, it's all your fault. Johnny was chasing God to rescue him. It's your fault.

The sister, I saw the text. I wonder how long that sister would let Johnny sleep on her couch

and spend her rent money on cocaine. I wonder how long the sister would do that. She wouldn't do it for five seconds. Easy for her to be righteous. Your fault because he was chasing God and it's your fault. No, it's not. Don't be that sister if you're on this call right now. Don't be that mother. Johnny's mother and blame the wife. Don't be. Why? Because you're not helping John. What did John need? All John needed was space. Why? Because the bullies not near the bullie

“when he doesn't have somebody to pick on. That's why I was so mad the other day. This big,”

bad, macho. I'm a man, blah, blah, blah, taking his nonsense out on his wife who does all the work and go right down the list. So what did I tell her? Get space. Go to your sister's house for a couple of this. He won't last 48 hours. He didn't last 24 hours. Why? Because when a bullie has no one to blame and of course in this case the bullie hasn't made money in months. So the bullie didn't have money to go drink because the wife had the courage to take it away and the bullie didn't have

anyone to bully because the wife had the courage to go get safe. How did she do that? Because I helped you can help. Did I do it for her? No, I told her to pray for strength and listen, just listen, do it different this time and she did. What eventually happened? Well, the big, bad bullie. Now is a feeble little boy. Lonely, lost, good. At a bottom yet? Not yet. My friend. Well, you know, I feel bad for him because he has no food. I'm thinking, oh dear God, don't go see him.

Well, she did, of course. He reamed her. Why? Because he's still a bully when someone's around. She learned. Don't go back for a while. I said to her, I'm not telling you not the feeding. Put $20 in the bank so he can drink or eat because she did. Well, Lon behold, he went to a meeting the following day. Literally went to a meeting that following day. And you know what his sponsor told him, he kept saying, oh, the sponsor blames you. The sponsor said to me, you know, my sponsor even said,

it's your fault I drank. I asked my friend, how many years is that sponsor been in the meeting? I've been in meetings 10 years. There's no way the sponsor said that. The sponsors don't have opinions. All the sponsors saying is meet me at a meeting and we'll have lunch afterwards. That's exactly what happened. The sponsor didn't say, I'll meet you before the meeting. The sponsor said,

“I'll meet you after the meeting. And that's what they did. They met after the meeting. I got the”

text this morning. John's been sober now two days. Why? Well, because his wife had the courage, not to let her co-dependence run her life. How did she gain it? She asked for a power greater than her to support and to help and to give her the strength and courage. Who told her that? I did, which comes back to the we folks. We are the generation of change. Could she have done it on her own?

It doesn't. My path was unique, but it was 35 years ago. It's different now. We do it together.

“We. That's a we. That's a perfect example of a we. A woman I've never met”

reached out to me and asked for help. I supported for my experience strengthened hope. I had

empathy and compassion on both sides. I was angry when the drunk is taking it out on a bully

on somebody who couldn't defend herself. Emotionally she could not defend herself. She's just beat up. So I helped not in him. I helped by giving her action steps to empower herself. Starting with

pray for support. Pray for courage. Not rescue. Dear God, please give me the strength and courage.

“She kept saying this is really hard job. This is really hard. How did I answer?”

Compassionately, I know, but you're doing it. I know, but you're doing it. Everybody on this podcast today can do what I did to somebody. Today, literally, there's somebody you can offer support to. There's somebody you can hold their hand. You can't do it for them. But people don't need it done for them. We're two or more gathered. There's a God there. And together here on the we podcast, we're creating that essence. Now there's more than two of us. We're in 16 countries around the globe.

Eventually, we'll be in every country around the globe. And eventually, together, we're going to continue doing power people. Together, we're going to help people to heal. Together, we're going

“to help people remember that the issues are not outside. Your answers are inside. And together,”

we're changing humanity. One smile at a time. Thank you so much for being here, everybody. And from around the world, welcome to We. Case or iTunes, we'll win a chance to the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 prize that VIP day with Joe himself. Be sure to head on over to wepodcast.lovil and pick up a free copy of Joe's gift. And join us next time for The Wepodcast.