Life Can Feel Hard and Scary Because I Never Realized How Much I Had to Change — The Emotional Healing That Prepared Me to Become the Person My Higher Power Created Me to Be

for more, knowing something is missing.

“Then this podcast is for you, so here's your host, Joe Medigan.”

Hello and welcome to we, sometimes life can feel hard and scary, not because something is necessarily going wrong, but because something inside of us is changing. For most of my life, I thought change was about changing the things around me. You know, changing my circumstances, changing my relationships, changing my career, changing where I lived.

Even sometimes I thought I just had to change what I had, but what I didn't understand was that sometimes the greatest change life asked of us isn't around us.

It's within us and I never realized how much I was going to have to change before I could

become the person my higher power created me to be. I never realized how much I was going to have to change my life. I never realized how much everything was going to be different. I had to begin looking at all the fears I carried for years. I had to understand the emotional wounds that had shaped the way I saw myself in the world.

I had to learn how to let go of people, beliefs, expectations, and even parts of my old identity that no longer belonged in the life I was becoming capable of living.

“And quite honestly, that was really hard.”

Sometimes to tell you the truth, it was really scary too. Because there comes a point in emotional healing when we begin to realize that healing isn't something that's simply about feeling better, healing truly changes us. It changes what we want, it changes what we're willing to accept, it changes our relationships, it changes the way we see ourselves and eventually it changes the entire direction of

our lives. And I believe that's one of the reasons transformation quite honestly can be so frightening. We're standing somewhere between the person we used to be and the person our higher power is helping us become. The old life feels familiar even when it no longer fits us.

And the new life can feel uncertain because we haven't lived it yet. But maybe that uncertainty doesn't mean we're lost. Maybe sometimes it means we're becoming. Today I want to talk about the part of the journey. The part nobody really prepared me for.

“What happens when emotional healing begins changing who you are?”

Why can't becoming healthier, more emotionally aware, more spiritually connected, sometimes feels so uncomfortable? And how do we find the courage to keep moving forward when a higher power may be asking

us to become someone we've never been before?

Because today I understand something I could have never understood years ago. I wasn't simply healing so I could return to the person I used to be. I was healing so I could become the person my higher power created me to be. And maybe just maybe that's happening to you too. My name is Joe Mitigah and this is Wayne.

Welcome everybody, welcome for around the world. I am really excited to be here tonight. I know it's a beautiful August night here in Atlanta, Georgia.

I have to tell you I have had quite an amazing month, two months.

The transformation in my life has just been truly off the charts from my oldest son going to college to my 11-year-old German shepherd having to be put to sleep a couple weeks ago. I literally just this past week traveled up to my hometown where I grew up Northern Indiana,

And I hadn't been up that far north in many, many years.

And one of the last surviving family members of my dad's family, I grew up very traditional Italian and his sister, his last surviving sister passed away. My aunt Joanne, God rest her soul, a beautiful woman. She passed away in her sleep at 93 years old. I made the trip and I was very grateful because two weeks before I had heard she passed.

I was in the caregiving of my dog Zeus and for new people, you know, listen to some of the past episodes. I had to put my 11-year-old German shepherd to sleep because of some health challenges. I was in and, you know, I wanted to go but there was just no way I was grieving too hard myself and how God just works and I'm going to tell that story here in a little bit but

it was just a beautiful weekend and a beautiful celebration of a wonderful life. And she's somebody that truly taught me what unconditional love is and I'm going to talk about that here in this particular episode. I want to welcome people again from around the world, the Weepodcast is exploding literally. I say it every day and I want to welcome everybody here.

You are a true spiritual warrior if you're able to listen to my podcast. That's for sure. And my belief that humanity is waking up is truly just constantly being showed to me as a truth and it doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter where you live, it doesn't matter the color of your skin, the gender, your religion, we are all humanity.

And literally now the Weepodcast at 9 months old and this is going to be the 50th episode. We are literally now in 6 continents around the globe.

“That's why I talk about it in my last episode.”

We are truly the generation of change and technology allows that as a big part. I want to welcome people from Norway and Canada. A brand new huge group of people now in the United Kingdom welcome to the Weepodcast, you know, I look forward to visiting your country someday soon, Malaysia and South Korea are two newer markets that now have joined the Weepodcast.

And I can always tell when a new country and a new area of people are actively involved

because it gets ranked and United Kingdom has, I don't know, 30, 40 million people in it. And the Weepodcast is in the top three rankings of the How-To and that wonderful country and welcome all of you. You know, I am a person that in my younger years, I was just busy building a business and I had a wife and a family and you know, the white pick-offence lived the American

dream truly and over the past 10 years raising my kids, my oldest has launched these and college, my youngest is just this genius literally a genius and I'll talk about him later, too. And I say all that because I never had the desire to travel. I really didn't.

I go out on my back deck and it felt like vacation. But you know, I've reached an era of time now that I really look forward to traveling the world. I look forward to doing presentations in the countries I just mentioned. United Kingdom is a place I've wanted to visit forever and I look forward to some day

going there and meeting people that have listened to the Weepodcast and basically walking

up to your shaking your hand and hugging your neck and just knowing that we together are spiritual warriors. And I say that all the time because humanity's waking up and not everybody's doing it. And the matter of fact is most people aren't.

“And that's why if you're here and you keep coming back and you keep listening to the Weepodcast”

if you're able to. I say it all the time if you're able to your true spiritual warrior because my message is kind of in the face sometimes of people. I'm going to ask you, when's the last time you went 90 days without drinking? Why do I get to?

Because for 30 some odd years I had to put the alcohol down too. I'm going to ask you about your codependence. I'm going to ask you about your addictions. I am. I'm also going to celebrate with you as you make a difference and I've got, you know, some

things I'm going to talk about today because we are truly the generation of change. We are and though to be able to live it, it's one thing to know y'all.

“It's another thing to be able to truly live it and quite honestly the myth that a spiritual”

path is all airy, fairy and lovey, w and wonderful is just not true. You know, yes, becoming one with a power greater than yourself is the single grandest experience.

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience and I want to validate that. I want to mirror that.

“I want to honor it back to you because you know what I'm talking about.”

You know the feeling, you know the experience and you may or may not have ever heard it before. Let me say it again. It's worth repeating it. I'll repeat it over and over.

You are a spiritual being having a human experience and the human experience sometimes can be so fricking confusing. Full of emotions, full of decisions, full of stress, full of fears, full of concerns. Yes, it's called being human and no, it's not easy. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not.

Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes it's so dark you can't breathe. And here at the we podcast, I want to share my stories. I want to share my experiences.

“I want to share my hope and I want to share what I did and that's why I believe that the”

we podcast is really making a difference. And if it wasn't making a difference, we wouldn't have tens of thousands of people listening. And I thank you. I thank you because for years and years and years.

I had never met anybody on a conscious path, not just the truth.

And I tell the story all the time about this one particular female that I still have never met. That I listened, I read a document of hers and she's talking about a grander tomorrow. And then I listened and my heart opened. And you know, beautiful woman, single guy, of course, in the beginning, I'm thinking, now

you have to understand a fricking podcast. It's like watching a human through an aquarium, quite honestly. You know, so it literally had nothing to do with the person, it's my personal experience. I was conscious enough to know. But the truth matter is for I said this before 18 months, I felt like I had a crush on a woman

I'd never met. It was that kind of wild and that kind of bizarre.

And eventually, just not long ago, four or five months to go, I realized it was never emotional.

It wasn't emotional, it was expansion. And what does that mean to Joe, it meant that I came across another human on this planet for the first time in my life, September 20th, 2022, who was more spiritually connected to her heart than I am. And I say that because it's the first time that it had happened to me.

It was the first time I came across somebody whose heart was more open than mine. So my heart mirrored hers, expansion, which is a spiritual experience. A motion is a human experience, this was expansion. Now, since it was the first, took me a while to figure it out. And I say that because that was my first endeavor of that.

Well now, as the we podcast explodes around the world, all of you are mirroring back to me that I'm not the only one.

I always knew I wasn't the only one, but you know, you can know something.

But if you don't ever get it validated, there's a huge difference between faith and fact. And now, Joe lives in the fact that there are spiritual beings just like me on a similar path around the globe and the we podcast being ranked 76th in the globe because of all of you, proves it. And it proves that we are a community of people that is craving knowledge and craving

a mirror and craving an interaction that we never had before.

“That's what the we podcast is all about.”

And I've said it over and over and I will eventually follow through. I'm just figuring this whole podcast thing out. That's why I talk a lot about finding your higher passion and your higher purpose and how to do it and all that because this whole podcasting thing, I knew nothing about it. Literally zero, Wendy Stevens, my producer said, you'd be great, Joe, I was like, great

at what? Doing a podcast. I was like, Wendy, I know nothing about a podcast. She says, fine, you push play, talk, push end and I'll do the rest. Wendy Stevens, you want an amazing podcast producer, Wendy Stevens, look her up.

Come on, my LinkedIn, you'll see her. And I say that because I'm the type that just jumps in and I figured out as I go. I just learned about this thing called Spotify. Not long ago. You know, my kids, they are merciful with me.

That how can you this? I said, listen, Wendy said, I'll have to do a talk and I'm doing it. And I say that because this particular message today is about the journey of becoming

Now did I have any idea a year ago right now that I was supposed to be a podcast host?

No, I didn't even know what a podcast was, literally. And here I am. Why? Because I happen to be very practiced at following this higher power concept. But it doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable, it doesn't mean it's not scary, it doesn't

mean it's not fricking confusing, it's all get out because it is. Now, I'm blessed because I just happened upon a couple of titans in this world when Wendy Stevens and Adrian Ashley, Wendy's my podcast producer and Adrian is a PR person for me. And I tell them all the time, thanks for just being patient with me because I just don't

know I'm learning as I go. And Adrian says to me the other day, she says, Joe, I know, but I got you. And I have to tell you, that was just a beautiful feeling to know that there's people out there to support.

“And I'm the guy who will put it out there, you know?”

Some things I know a lot about, some things I know. Well, the podcasting world, I'm learning. And I'm glad all of you are here with me because together we're making a difference. We truly are. And I want to just kind of tell you my story because I could talk about how wonderful

my life is. I mean, I could. And I do have an amazing life, I did have no question.

But it wasn't always like this, it wasn't.

And just because I have an amazing life, doesn't mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean I don't wake up on a Tuesday morning sad. I mean, a couple episodes ago, I had to talk about, and I did it on purpose. I wanted the world to hear a grown man grieving of the depths. And God helped me.

I hope I never have to go there again.

“I'm not sure besides the death of a loved one, if I would ever be in that much literal”

pain. And I did it with a lot of praying and a lot of strength, asking for strength and courage. I said all the time, ask for strength and courage. And please understand, folks, anything I'm sharing with you to do, I live it literally every day.

And when I'm in a challenge like I was having to make the decision, I was the one to make the decision with no human around me to talk to. I had to make the decision about my beloved friend, Zeus. It's 115 pound German Shepherd. I still get choked up now.

And no guilt, no remorse, listen to the episode of letting go a couple episodes ago. But I want people to understand that this whole spiritual guru, one with God and everything's very fair. And let's live with the angel. No, it's all BS.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen. But you're human also, you're also human. And the human side of you is going to have fears, it's going to have confusion, it's going to have emotion, it's going to have grave. You are going to feel lost, you're also going to feel glory.

That's all part of the human experience. And so very often, I've heard people, I've seen people and I see the different influencers out there that kind of miss that part, it's like they're trying to say, don't be human and do the it anyways. No, that don't work.

How do I know? Because if it did, you wouldn't be here. I say that all the time. I want you to understand, you're on a spiritual path that you would not be on my podcast. You couldn't be, you know, you couldn't be.

Go to my whatever they call that. The description page of the we podcast, have had 75 people give me ratings and please write the show.

“I think it's a good thing and two people gave me a one and I thought, it's okay, 73 people”

gave me five stars. Why? Because whatever I'm speaking, whatever I'm saying, you're giving stars to the message, not the man and I'm just a normal guy, I'm not a doctor, not a therapist, I'm not a researcher, I don't do any of that.

I'm telling you my experience and my strength and my hope. And over time on my Tuesday episodes, we're going to have other people do the same thing.

I would do the best I can to always have people that aren't going to get on here to tell

you what to do, but tell you how they did it. I'm going to have a lot of people in the future again, especially as the show gets bigger, that are going to want to come on and be a preacher or be a guru and go, no, no, not on this show. I'll try.

Now, you know, I get some big, famous person, you know, I'm going to be in whatever star stroke, of course I am, I'm going to probably have people on, but I want them to tell you what they did on a Tuesday morning before they were a global speaker or the biggest author on the planet or a billionaire because they all went through their challenges.

No, and I want people to know because all of you are in your challenging times and your

“grand times and that's what I'm sharing here and that's what I want to continue to share”

here. You know, when my aunt passed, my aunt was a beautiful, beautiful person. She and my priest, Father Kim, were two people that truly showed me what unconditional love was all about because for Joe, the Catholic religion didn't work for me, but it worked beautifully for them.

And that's why I say all the time, I'm not against religion at all. I honor whatever works for you, it didn't work for Joe, doesn't mean I'm right and they're wrong. In fact, these people lived a blissful life during my 20 years of complete misery. Maybe I should have tried harder.

I'm kidding, it didn't work for me, but the unconditionalness of these two people in particular was just so beautiful and it showed me that we all have a path and my path can be different than yours and I don't have to make you wrong for me to be right.

“They never made me wrong, they loved me anyways and they both knew exactly how I felt.”

My priest especially and he never judged me, never did.

And in fact, he was the man taught me how to work out. My dad was never around, eighth grade. He'd make a special effort to come be a male role figure figure in my life. And I honor him for that, I really do. But the we podcast, it's not about either or, it's about honoring of all.

And there's a huge mass of people that are waking up to a spiritual essence of themselves that consider themselves more spiritual than religious. And in that position, that's more of what this context is about. Because that's what I know. I don't know Christianity, I don't know Buddhism, I don't know other types of paths to

oneness with God. Now, if my aunt Joanne was here, you couldn't meet somebody more peaceful than this beautiful spirit. I don't know her path.

“That's why this particular show is about that.”

And that's why I talk about it all the time where we're all on a path. And if you're on this path, I want to honor the feminine side of you is waking up. The feminine side of you is waking up to humanity because humanity is waking up. It really is.

I always give the example of 200 years ago, owning a human.

Well, 100 years ago, the world was truly closed down. One story had an amazing opportunity. And my next episode, I'm not cussing anymore. Yeah, I'm trying not to cuss. So this is sometimes I get so hyped up at slips.

But I'm going to tell the story, I met my perpetrator. For most of you, you know, if you're new here, I always have to remember tens of thousands of people, this is your first episode. Back in April of 1994, I had memories of being sexually abused as a kid. And my whole world closed down.

I went into what I call a modern day monk era of time seven years of darkness, truly to heal. All I wanted to do was heal. I lived on less than $3,000 a year from 1994 for seven years, literally. And I share that story because it was a turning point.

Those memories were a turning point. And the depths of my pain was truly healed. I learned what forgiveness was because forgiveness is not an action step. Look at the episodes I talk about in forgiveness. forgiveness is not an action step unlike what is projected out there all the time.

It's not. You can accept something, that's not forgiveness. You can realize why something happened, that's not forgiveness. And I want you to understand, if you can't forgive something or someone, it's called you're hurting, not because there's anything wrong.

Now, because you can't forgive them, doesn't mean you can't love them. It certainly doesn't give you permission to take your anger out of be disrespectful, not at all. I talk about that a lot, but inability to surrender and inability to forgive is because a part of you is hurting.

Well, my perpetrator of the day, I was seven. He and another boy did some crazy stuff for the stick to me. And I learned many years later that he died on the side of a mom for exposure, riding

And I grieved.

“There was a heroin addict this whole life.”

I found out later, he was maliciously and systematically traumatized himself by his father. Well, interestingly enough, when I was in South Bend, I met this man's older brother. And he told me the story of his father and how his father became this person. He became and he told me his childhood.

And in the next episode, I'm going to go through all that.

I'm going to basically, that episode is going to be talking about how is a pedophile created

literally. What had to happen to this human to be so systematically inappropriate has entire adult life, the father of my purb. And I'm going to tell that story, not for sympathy or compassion or anything like that. But for knowledge, so you can hear, but truly happens to create that type of social monster.

Now, I'm going to tell you something straight up. I don't care how wounded you are. I don't care how hurt you've been. I don't care what happened to you. You taking your wounds out on another human is simply not okay wrong.

You break the law, I will take you to jail. I've told the story about a gentleman I took to a federal penitentiary. Could I love him? Yes. Could I understand where he came from?

Yes. Did I condone his behavior? No. I drove him to the federal penitentiary. 110 months in a federal penitentiary because he acted out his wound.

The wounds are yours, and if you act amount and you break the law, I will be the first one to lovingly talk to you about your wounds as I take you to jail. That's just where I stand on it.

“And quite honestly, this whole O I'm addicted to sex, so it doesn't mean you're powerless.”

And it doesn't mean you don't know what you're doing as wrong. Because that's the truth. I'm part of this particular episode, right?

It's about becoming aware that I had to always look at my side of the street.

This whole emotional growth and emotional awakening and spiritual awareness and all that. No, I have to tell you, I never knew this spiritual awareness nonsense. I was an F you got guy. And for those of you that don't know what that means, you know, today I consider myself a god guy.

But genuinely do live one with god, 99.9% of the time, I have a very easy time commuting with my higher power. It's not hard. It's just very practice. I started this journey in 1990, February 16th, 1990.

So we're going up on 36 plus years. So I will tell you, am I the same as you, yes? I'm probably more practiced than most of you because I'm fricking old and I've been doing this forever, but it doesn't make me any different than anybody else, and I wasn't pursuing a god.

I wasn't, I was an F you got. And I say that because I was in so much pain, so long. I just said to myself, there's no way a god can be a real thing, no way.

Because if there was, I would never be in this much pain.

“That's why I came up with the F you got guy, I was an F you got.”

I knew there was always a god, I was never atheist, never. But other than that, I don't think where I started to go any further away from God from where I started to have been atheists, I wasn't atheists, but I was that guy. I was never trying to become one, I was never trying to search for a higher power, I was never asking for one, I just wasn't, all I wanted to do was be able to wake up on a Tuesday

morning, be able to lift my elbows off the bat, that's all I wanted. Because I was hurting, and it was as the consequence of healing my pain and getting in touch with the depths of my inner child, that I started remembering an inner essence, I started hearing a higher power, I started connecting with this inner essence of a god's sense of self, the Christ consciousness, well created in God's image.

That's some point much later, the voice said, God didn't create your pain, you did. God isn't the reason you were in so much pain, your environment was. Well, it started me away from the F you got concept, well, maybe there is a god, but I didn't know how to interact, I didn't know how to connect, I wasn't a prayer, none of

book, "Filling the Void," which is at jomitica.com, so keep visiting there, we're getting that up, we're going to have a book club, you've got to really a lot of really cool stuff for that book, it's going to be free, you'll send your email and we'll give it to you for a download for free, and "Filling the Void.com," a common man's quest to become one with God, well, 30 some years ago, that book was literally channeled through me, and I remember thinking,

yeah, right, people are going to believe you, me, that God was talking through me, well, that's exactly what happened. 106,815 words. For 22 months, I wrote on legal size pieces of paper, that book will be out to the public, you're soon, and but as that was happening, it was more like I was hearing a movie playing my head,

“not a relationship with, and that's why I talk about all the time we're waking up.”

We as a humanity, as a consciousness, we're waking up to the feminine side of ourselves, every being has a male side and a female side, your male side is your mental and your physical, your female side is your spiritual and your emotional. Well, the challenge, the reason people aren't literally living at a oneness with God now is because they've got so many emotional blocks in the way, and the new thought movement of the past 40 years tries to tell us, well, just change your mind,

and everything's fine. I never was guided that way. I was never guided to change my unhealthy thoughts.

I always heard the question, why do I have the voices in the first place? Well, the answer to

why I have the voices was a hurt inner child. And for those of you that don't know what the inner child is, we are all an emotional being, and that the inner essence of ourselves is emotional. I came up with the concept of the we, human self, higher self, Christ consciousness, higher self, and inner self, inner child. Well, as we're waking up, as humanity as a vibration is waking up more and more to the feminine side of ourselves, people are connecting with emotions

more than ever before, and people are being pounded with intuition and gut instincts and hearing voices and all of that, but they don't have the direction, they don't know how to follow it, and they start doubting it because the world around them, they're the only ones.

And, you know, that's all part of why the we-pot guests are such a powerful thing.

I supported a woman a couple of years ago, year and a half ago, where by the time we are on the phones for about six months, I didn't know where beautiful Christian go. She said, Joe and church, I was just like, I would hear God talking to me. It was driving me nuts. I thought I was crazy. And as I was listening to her, I said, honey, you're not crazy. That's your higher power. It just was like there. And a lot of you are, it's happening to a lot of you. I hear it.

A lot of you are going to feel it. A lot of you women sense it. Your gut instinct is a guidance system beyond your humanity. And it's in that experience where more and more people are

“waking up. And that's why one of the how-to's, how do we connect with that higher sense of self”

is you start the practice of silence. And please understand, silence isn't lack of moving. Silence is lack of external stimulus. No radio, no talk, no cell phones. Just sitting in silence. And silence doesn't mean you're not going to hear the voices in your head. I'm not telling you to go into meditation to try to calm the voices. I'm telling you to start the practice of. And hopefully you are. If you're new here, I'm suggesting to people to practice each day at some

spot, get in your car, get up early, go on a lunch break, sit by a park, do whatever you have to do. And just sit there for five minutes. And observe your thoughts. Here I'm because you're going to be

loud still. And if they get too aggressive, of course, write them down. First step means right

down the voices here in your head. But eventually you're going to hear a softer voice. But I can tell you that softer voice for Joe now is the primary voice in me because I've done enough work over time that I don't really have all the wounds. So I don't really have all the aggressive voices. I just don't. And through that whole process, I can mirror back. And as I'm mirroring back to this woman, she's literally, you know, like thanking me because everybody around

“dirt, no one really knows what's going on. And I think a lot of you are in that place. I think”

a lot of you listening to this show, the we podcast. You're hearing things here, you're not going

on the brain than the emotion. I say it all the time. If you had one word to describe a

power greater than yourself, if you had one word to describe God, would it be your mind or would it be love? And of course, everybody would say one word to describe God would be love. Well, love is in your heart that you're had. So we're helping people connect with their heart. Well, the way you connect with your heart is what this process is all about, that emotional healing. And I can tell you, it was a real challenge for me because when I started connecting to my heart,

and I started connecting to my feelings, the mad ones, the glad ones, the sad ones, and the scared ones,

“the only thing I felt for ever is anger. And I've been suggesting, hey guys, it's time.”

Get your anger out on somebody besides your wife. There's a couple things that I have zero tolerance for. Not a, and it's not drinking in drug. You know what? You're drinking in drug and you're killing yourself. That's up to you. And oh, yeah, by the way, have you asked yourself

the question was last time you went 30 days? Ask yourself the question. You can never say you never

heard that. Ask yourself the question because if you can't say to yourself, oh, yeah, I got 30 days all the time. Try. You think you have an issue? I don't know if you know or not. I never thought about it. No one ever said that to me. A buddy of mine came in 30 plus years ago. Joe, you'll never guess what these asshole bees want me to do. I was like Lincoln, what is it? I want me to go 90

“means 90 days in that drink. And that didn't bother me at all. I said, that is the stupidest thing”

I've ever heard. That is what I heard. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I heard myself say that. I was making fun of people that didn't drink. And that's when I asked myself the question,

wow, I wonder when the last time I went 90 days. As I performed at 31st birthday, my answer was

I was 15. So, I'm asking right now this last time. And so, but I have a tolerance for alcohol, I have a tolerance for drinkers, smokers, drug people I do. I have no tolerance for a man taking his anger out on his wife. None. A man taking his anger out on a woman. None. Now, gals, I don't even tolerance for you either. But I say it all the time, I'm a man. So, I can talk from absolute experience of a man. Women, you're taking your anger out on your husband's

freaking stop it. Just stop. You get the back too. But men, it is time. What's it look like? Blaming, shaming, yelling, screaming, cussing, making them wrong, yelling at them, blaming them for your crap. No, those days need to be over. Why? Because if we don't stop that,

“we can never heal humanity. What's the how-to? How do we stop it? Well, you have to find a different”

way to get your anger out and a healthy way. So, by the time your wife pushes your buttons because she's going to, you've got the release valve of your rage taken out. What do we do? 15 minutes a week. 15 minutes. That's all I'm asking. Get a whiff of all that. Get a picture of people you don't like. Put it on your bed. Go in a sacred place and start beating the bed. 15 minutes a week. You've got 15 minutes. I used the example. Hey, Saturday, when you're going to drink,

because you haven't gone 30 days in forever, not drinking. I know it's football. So, you got to go watch football. Why do I get to make fun of that? I don't have a TV. I don't have a TV. So, I get that make fun, but ask the question. When was the last time you missed the football game to spend it with your wife? Now, if your wife is there, it's something great. Good. I'm not making fun of it, but I'm going to ask the questions because sometimes we get stuck in the patterns when any

even know. But here's the facts. Let's just say you're going to the football game with the same guys you've been doing it for 20 years. They don't care if you excuse yourself for 15 minutes and take a whip a ball bat into the basement into a bedroom and beat the bad and get your anger out. Your friends won't care. They're too busy drinking and watching TV. And that's something that more men have to do. You just do. Why? Because the only reason you're so angry

is because you've got a ton of grief underneath there. The likelihood of you reaching your grief before you reach your anger is less likely. The other technique gets some speakers, headphones, five minutes a week. Find some song that tweaks your heart. Listen to my podcast. You'll hear a grown man crying for 80 minutes. How could I do it? Practice. I'm practiced. That's why. And how

Because your wife is going to push your bones. She's going through. She's in your life to push your

“bones. And oh yeah, gals. He's in your life to push your bones, too. And part of the process,”

the changing my entire life prior to getting on any level of conscious path. Basically, I call it addiction situation. Every action step I took was to make sure I felt better. The girlfriend I was with physically, sexually, emotionally, not all on emotion. We did things together so I felt better. Every job I ever had, I did it for the money so I would feel better. Every place I lived, I did it so I would feel better. Addiction situation. Most action steps I did on a daily basis.

Even though it might have looked like it was a good deal, good. I was doing it to make me feel better. And that's just where I lived. If I was angered with somebody else's phone, if I was broke, it was somebody else's phone. If I failed at somebody with someone else's phone,

“everything was always somebody else's fault. And that's the state of unconsciousness that the”

mass is living. Even a lot of you that are on a spiritual path, a conscious path, you're doing it and you don't even know it. For codependences, we're going to talk about that here in a little bit. The process of truly owning your stuff, truly seeing your side of the street, the becoming something my higher power wanted me to be, is all about becoming autonomous, not dependent. It was about becoming independent. So then if I ever have a partnership in my

life, we would become interdependent, not dependent on each other. And that's a big difference. That's a big difference on how we live life. And that process, I'm going to share a couple of stories of what it means to live consciously and what it means to truly spiritually wake up.

And spiritual awareness is when you wake up on a Tuesday and you have a thought you never had.

That's an awareness. Spiritual awakening and spiritual growth is when you live that awareness. The more you live, whatever the new awareness is, the more you grow. I had an awareness to stop drinking and driving. Well, I stopped. Now my solution to that was I became a full-time marijuana smoker. It's kind of a crazy example, but that's a spiritual awareness is becoming aware of something for the very first time. Living the new something is how we spiritually grow.

And the growing typically always ends up bringing up deeper emotion. Like 99, 99% of the time. And it's in that deeper emotion where the emotional healing and emotional growth comes from. The healing comes from when the emotional awareness comes from when we realize that there's a hurt inside. The healing happens when we promote the hurt. And that might be a hurt that happened

30 years ago that was never finished. He didn't finish grieving 30 years ago. So if you don't finish

grieving at 30, 40, 50 years ago, where is it? It's stuffed inside of you. Literally. So the emotional healing is when we become aware that there's a motion stuffed inside of us and we start emoting, getting it out. Either through anger, beating the bad fellas, get the anger out. Through emotion grieving, getting it out. And it's in that healing where so many people out there, not therapists, but so many influencers out there are trying to act as if you

can change your brain and have a great life and never have to truly heal anything. Well, I'm not saying you can't make a bunch of money. I'm not saying you can't be a good person. I'm not saying you can't have a great partnership, but does that heal anything? No. So what's the difference? You have a million bucks. You're still feel empty. You have a million

bucks. You're still drinking every Saturday. You have a million dollars and you never feel satiated.

Well, how do we do all that? How do we get to the place of Ocanus? We have to identify the hurt

“in us and that's why what the we podcast is, the how to, how did I get to a place to where I could”

be free? I could live whole. I could live full. I could empower my kids. I could create a global pocket. How did I get here? Well, I started looking at the world and seeing every time I was in an

is in me, not them. One of two different therapists and then my preacher 20 years ago, my current

“priest, minister. So do you know, Joe, there was one finger pointing out three pointing back. So”

when you hear yourself being critical of somebody else, one finger out three back. That's a wound

in you. When you hear yourself judging somebody else, making somebody else wrong, trying to control somebody, trying to change them. That's one finger out three fingers back. And I've been telling the story about a couple of different couples that I support and the one gentleman out of Connecticut who was a year plus in the program. Twelve steps. Three years, almost three years. And he found himself in a bar drinking. And when it happened, I was very empathetic of him and very compassionate

for his wife. I was empathetic because I'm an alcoholic recovering. And I was very supportive of

both of them. And then he started taking his crap out on his wife. I went from empathetic

“to rageful. I went from empathetic to bold in his face, stop your crap, stop taking your anger out”

on her. She has nothing to do with your rage. And I have to tell you, when you're in that type of experience, it's very, very easy to see a 220 pound drunk who's pissed off at his wife and she's about five to 115 pounds drip and wet. And it's very easy to see the drunk side. He's a rage-a-holic alcoholic, whatever. It's harder though to see the control freak wife. Why? Because she cloaked her behavior patterns and called it love. I just want what's best for him. I just wanted him to heal.

And I said to her, I said Becky, which is not her name. I said Becky, you got to get away from him

and get safe. And then we're going to help you feel your pain. She had no idea what it's on none, none, none. What would trigger this particular couple and trigger the man is that every time they would be out and they're both handsome. I mean, they could be freaking models, both of them, man and woman. He would glance at a woman. Hey, gals, your husband's going to glance at a woman. They're going to. And the tweak you feel in your belly, when your husband's glancing at a woman,

is your wound. You're abandonment stuff. You're not good enough stuff. You're neglect stuff. Now, doesn't it look like that or feel like that? No, he's the bad guy. He's looking at somebody else. No, he's human and he's going to look at somebody else. Now, I'm not talking about gawking. I'm not talking about glaring. I'm not talking about staring. Guys, if you're doing all that freaking stop it, I'm talking about the glance. And the comment, it's like looking at a beautiful woman and

thinking, you know, the man doesn't think she's beautiful. That's ridiculous in 12 years old. They're going to. That's like looking at a rose and saying, nope, it's not beautiful. That's all BS. So gals, when your husband makes a comment about a beautiful woman, when you feel the tweak, that's your stuff not his. Now, it's so easy, though. That's hard to see. He shouldn't be looking at anybody. That's like telling him he shouldn't have brown eyes. He does have brown eyes and he's going to

“look. The question is, when he looks, why do you feel so insecure? What's going on in you?”

Am I friend Becky for the longest time she couldn't see it? And this particular experience, right? He stopped going to meetings six weeks and then he blamed her for pushing him over the edge, which is all BS. That's his BS. The truth of the matter is when he stopped going to meetings, he went from being in the center, they're being on the edge. And then his wife who couldn't leave him alone, she was insecure. Why? Because of her own wounded little girl. That's it. She couldn't stop.

And I was happy to help her see her side. But I just love him. And I just this, I hear you. No question. But when he looks, what do you feel? Well, I just, I just wanted him to stop. I know, but when he looks, what do you feel? What do you feel? And quite honestly, it took her a little while. And I said to her, I said, well, I just need to go check on him. I just why he's a grown man. I know, but wait wait wait wait wait wait. He's 43 years old. He can get his own water. Sit on your couch. And I kind of got big with

her and sure enough. She did it for two days. And then it just started coming. Every time she believed she had to go fix him. She was abandoning herself. Anybody that has to go fix a

in love. That isn't love. That's control freak. Osloidism. That's what that's called. Got another one. I called her heroin addict. Why? Because she genuinely believed it. But I have to make sure he drinks water. Why? He's 60. grown man. Look at that story in a minute. Back to this other couple and sure enough. And she sent her on her couch. You know, my metaphor is sit your backside on your couch. Let him sit on his couch and deal with his demons. She had some big demons. He did. You sit on your

couch and listen. And she did as she could hear a voice inside her when she wasn't rescuing him. She felt the tweak in her belly. She felt the angst in her heart. She just needed to go fix him. Fixing him was abandoning her. By her trying to fix him, she was abandoning her. And to

“her credit to Becky's credit. She sent there. And I said, we have to pray. You have to ask for strength.”

Because this is not easy. You really think you're being loving. But you're not. You're pissing him off and you're abandoning yourself. He's told you 50 times to stop. You can't stop. Why? Because she was acting out her own world. This is the codependent side of the addict in the codependent. It's easy to see the belligerent rageful drunk. That's easy to see. It's harder to see and feel the codependent partner. It's harder. Why? Because they cloak it in love. That's not love.

Fixing somebody else and abandoning yourself. That's not love. It's not. So how do you know when it's happening? You know when it's happening, your stuff. When you look at somebody and you want to fix them. Because something in them is pushing your buttons. Something in them

“is making you feel uncomfortable. I know, but Joe, he's killing, wait a minute. We're not talking”

about him. I want to hear what you feel. I hear you. He's killing himself without all. Now, what are you feeling? And eventually, she got to it. She really did. And she was right there. So it's easy for it. I mean, right there. I mean, easy, meaning painful. She started having memories

of a 13, 14, 15-year-old little girl in herself and a dad never around. So every time her husband

would look at somebody else, another woman, and he told her 50, 150 times. I didn't mean to look. Oh my god, I won't look. It's stressed him out completely. He's in a restaurant want to put glasses on because if he glance, it triggers his wife. The trigger was him glancing. He's pushing an abandonment issue in her. An neglect issue in her. Did I say gox stare in inappropriate? No. Men, if you're doing that, freaking stop it because

that's your issue. I'm talking about a glance. A glance pushed her buttons. And that's the type of stuff. The more awake I became, the more I realized I had to look at my side of the street.

I always had to look at the emotion that was in me. And I didn't like it. I didn't. I liked

the blame in everybody else. It was so much freaking easier. This was not my fault. I'm perfect. Just ask me. Me and Jesus. Hand in hand. Don't blame me, but me and Jesus. I'm so perfect. Well, truth matter is I wasn't perfect. Truth matter is I had massively hate for voices and the actual facts were. I had abandoned and wounded little boy inside of me. So every time I would get triggered by the behavior pattern of another person. I learned on this path

that I had to look at my stuff. I had to feel my pain. My abandonment was so big and my neglect was so big. Bigger than anybody else's, I don't know, probably not. Why was mine so big? My dad was

never around and my mother was emotionally unavailable. Does that sound familiar, folks?

One parent ever around, the other parent not emotionally available? Yeah, we're all kind of there.

“Well, that's why codependence is so rampant. It is what is codependence. The delusional belief”

system, it's your responsibility to make somebody else okay. Hear me, what's codependence? The delusional ridiculousness, the made up illusion, the self-aligned that says, I have to make sure they are okay. No, you know, it's BS. That's called Control Freak. One friend I call heroin out of because she could not stop. Instead, eventually, and has now, and is walking out of codependence,

because this, my friend Becky, she would get so clingy because she was afraid. She was afraid

“he was going to leave. Then we're together eight years. No matter how many times he told her,”

he loved her, she didn't believe him. Why? Because it wound the little kid in her kept saying, she kept bealing, he's going to leave. That was her abandonment. She wasn't true. No, they're married. Happily married. At least he was happy, but no matter what he did, he couldn't make her happy because of her wound to codependence. How did that live out? It lived out by her being clingy, her being controlling, her telling him, you know, that he's doing something wrong,

her trying to fix him, her trying to always know where he is, not trusting his behaviors. So

her wounds are causing her sight of the street, is causing constant riff in a marriage that didn't have to be there except her wound was acting out. And I'm telling you folks, love, love is truly when you have overflow to share with somebody else. If Joe sees somebody in pain, my friend, Johnny, which is not his name, who is in the bar, I would feel empathy, no need to fix him. I would feel compassion, not angst. If somebody was hurting, I feel empathy

and compassion because the wound in me, I don't have the wounds anymore. Why? I did it 30 years ago,

20 years ago, I've been healing my innocence to self. So anytime a behavior outside of you

“is triggering something in you, that's when you have to get, I always say, put your backside on”

your couch, take the time, ask your little kid what's going on. Do the dual hand journaling, get your pad of paper, and start asking inside what am I feeling? What's going on for me? And when you hear the voice is saying, well, I need to do something. Anytime you hear a voice with somebody else's name in it, write it down on a piece of paper, I need to fix him. I need to make sure he's healthy. I need to make sure he drinks water. I need to make sure he stops drinking.

I need to make sure he, if you're a woman, or vice versa, if you're a man, anything that you're trying to control another person with, that's not love folks. That's control. Why? Because they're pushing your button. And one of the things I had to learn on this path, right? Is see my side of the street. So I could understand that my pain is my pain. Listen to my episode, a couple of weeks ago, August 11th, that episode, where I'm literally

sharing with the world from the depths of pain. I had just made the decision to put my close friend, my dog's ears to sleep because of his issues. And I was in deep, deep loss. When you're listening to that episode, compassion for me, sure, empathy for me, sure. And I thank you for that. I really appreciate that support. But the big, I can't breathe pain. That's yours. Joe is dealing with Joe's pain. But I put that episode out there because I hope people listen to it all the time because I want

you to know. You can feel the depths of your pain, too. It's pain. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, and you'll make it through. Do what I do. Ask for strength and courage. Dear God, give me the strength and courage. Why? Because the more you emote and feel the depths of your pain, the freer you become literally. And that's my hope in my quest for everybody to help people understand that your emotional being is truly how you commune as one with your spiritual being.

God is love, right? Love is an emotion. Emotions are in your heart. Well, that means you've got to feel all the emotions that are in your heart. Fellas, all that rage you got that you keep taking out on your wife. You know why? Because there's a hurt little boy inside of you. The behaviors you're treating your wife if you're unloving to her. I guarantee you

“was behaviors that your father or your mother took out on you the same way. That's why we are”

the generation of change. It's up to us to change it now so our kids can grow up in a different way.

I verbalize it some. Saying it is harder for me, especially I love you. It's harder for me.

“But I text technology. So they know what I mean. And I tell them. I'm able to verbally tell them”

how proud of them I am. I'm not a big hugger. I'm not. But I can tell them. And I say that because if you haven't told your kids you love them, start today. And if I love you as too hard in the beginning, I get it. Say I'm proud of you. I'm happy for you. Or I'm looking forward to some type of complimentary behavior through the young people in your world. Why? Because the more you give them glassful affirmations, the more they create glassful affirmations in their own head.

You know, the difference between low self esteem and high self esteem, low self esteem is

when the voices and somebody's head are all critical and less than and made up and not full

of love. Well, if you're not telling your kids they're lovable, especially when they're little, they start making stuff up. But as you can start today, literally let today tomorrow be your first day. Text them. They're going to think you're not. I don't care. Do it enough. Do it every day. Attacks technology. Why? Because the more you tell your kids they're loved, the more they then start believing it in their own head. You want high self esteem kids. Get them to believe

“they're loved. How you have to tell them? You got a daughter tell her she's beautiful. Tell her”

she's pretty. Tell her you'd like her out for a compliment her. Son, a boy needs to hear he's proud. You're proud of him. Start today. That's how we are the generation of change. And literally from that position, we start building the esteem of the people of today. And in that whole world, when we start realizing that the people around us are truly there spiritually to help us grow emotionally. Hear me, people in your world, the important people in your

world are there spiritually to help you grow emotionally. How do they do it? They do step that triggers you. What's a trigger? A big angst, a big reaction, a big pain, a big need to control. Anything out of the normal that goes from 1 to 127, that is a trigger in you. I call those red flags.

“And if you go and deep folks, please get help. There's plenty of help out there. Find the therapist,”

find a life coach, find a friend, find a sponsor, find somebody that you can take it to talk it through with somebody. And then headphones, guys, five minutes, get some emotional in your own sacred silence. This is between you and you. And as you do that, you start healing the depths of self. And as we start healing that deeper part, then the exact same experience does it trigger us any more. My friend, I call it heroin added. Now, this is the sweetest, kindest, most loving,

kind human being ever want to meet. She has been connected to her feminine side of self.

Her entire life, literally, the challenges because she had no end to protector, who has never

a male side really developed. And she's been verbally abused. I mean, abuse, meaning her emotional sense of self is never truly honored by her or anybody else. Well, over the years, she's got in different relationships in this past one that she's been in. She just knew for a fact, she's called it love. I said, honey, that's not love. What Joe, if he doesn't drink water, he's going to die. You're going to die anyways if he doesn't stop drinking. Now, this man is in his 60s. At 41,

in his 60s, at 41, Dr. Seti's liver started to have an issues. Did he stop drinking? No, still drinks no. So my friend, person I work with, just knew she could help him. Just believe it was her job. I'm not going to stop him. I'm really, you're going to play God in this man's life.

Y'all y'all can do it. No, you can't. And basically, what would happen is, every time she was around him,

she'd get triggered by his neglect, by his overweight, by his drinking, by his rage. He would tell her over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, stop talking to me about my drinking. Now, I'm going to ask you right here on this podcast. If someone asks you to stop talking about their drinking, if you can't stop, that's on you take it to your therapist.

not willing to stop drinking. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. You might have to leave.

“A relationship's not growing each other every day. Yes, that's why I talk about this website”

divorce post. I always want to caveat when I mention, and I'm going to have four or five different

supports. The we podcast is an awareness podcast. I can bring your awareness to things, but I'm not truly a solution. The divorce post, this organization, which I haven't gotten with that ownership group yet. I stop trying to figure it out. I just can't. How to get them. But anyways, what do they do? They support people through divorce. Why? Because people are out growing. Now, they're out growing each other. Now, am I telling you if your partner's drinking too much that's a reason to the divorce? No,

but you also don't get a change of them. And if you really don't like it and they've really been doing it forever and you really don't can't handle it anymore, then yeah, you might have the divorce.

I did. My past wife walked straight in 10 years. She said, "Yo, I've divorced you and I don't love

“you anymore." And that, I didn't even remember that until I told the story not long ago. And that's”

why I have such a passion for this particular website, divorce post. Because I had nothing and I had no body and I had nowhere to go and no support. I just walked out. I took the stuff in my front seat. Do I suggest that? No. Am I suggesting divorce? No. And, folks, you're on a spiritual path. Marriage is an emotional thing for most, not spiritual. The next era of time people are going to have shared passions, which is more spiritually back. But emotionally, most of us got married

10, 20, 30, 40 years ago from our emotional sense of being. And as you're spiritually and emotionally growing, if you're growing and your partner's not, you're out growing them. And spiritually, you'll probably will be guided in separate directions. And that's why, if I had to had something like this divorce post, my entire world would have been different. I make fun just not long ago. 10 years later, I still don't know where half the documents are that I would have

if I had this particular thing, this particular organization. And I'm going to always say,

"I'm not affiliated with them at all." I mean, nothing. Most of it's free. I'm not affiliated

“at all, but I have a passion to give solutions because that's why the reponcasses and emotional”

growth, human transformation, podcasts, that's why we're exploding around the world. I'm giving you how to's because I did it, you can. Well, over time, I hope is to have five or six different places like the Worse Post, or if you're going through divorce, visit, see what they're all about. I've got a guy and an organization that is dealing with the opioid crisis. I haven't connected completely, but as soon as I am, every podcast, I'm going to talk about that. I've got another woman

who's creating a website to help women who have been trafficked, in other words, forced to use their body to make money for somebody else. That whole world of people, she's created a website with these young women, 70% when they get out, go right back because they have no way to make money. I've got somebody who's creating a website, so these women can have a place to make money. I'm going to have five or six of them. Why? Because that's how we heal humanity, which I'm going

to get to here in a minute. How all of us can have something. My friend who I call the heroin addict, and what do I say that? Because her need to fix another human was so huge, she couldn't stop. She couldn't. I would try to just get as big and as bold and as aggressive, and then I just, you know, that's a heroin addict behavior. I was doing it big mean aggressive to get her to sit on her couch, and she did, and she grabbed a bunch. And I kept saying, and because, you know, she was

somebody that couldn't be without this person 15 minutes. And it said, "Well, I'm in a break up with them. I said, "Don't waste my freaking time. You can't go 15 minutes, but I can't help you heal. Your issues aren't because of him. They're in you." Remember the big trigger? Well, everything this human did was a big trigger for this climate, and lo and behold, over the years. She's still with the guy now. I think they're kind of on the outs, but she now can see him.

And they don't fight. He doesn't yell. He doesn't cuss. He doesn't scream. Telling her, because, of course, they would get together, and then all I would hear afterwards is he cussed at me and he screamed at me and he yelled at me.

behavior patterns were love. They aren't love. He's asked you 50 times to stop talking to a mother's drinking. Well, you know about the 51st time or the 150 first time or in this particular case,

“the 751st time, that's why he would yell. He asked and asked and asked and asked, as she could not stop.”

Why? Because in her delusion, in her made-up-up-lusion, she believed she was being loving. She wasn't. She being controlling. Now, why was she doing it? Fear losing him, fear him dying. If he keeps drinking, he's going to die. I hate to say it. Most alcoholic's died wrong. Just say no folks. 1% maybe. So if you're dating someone, you're married to someone drinking a really long time. If they're not in a program, the likelihood of them stopping is almost zero. I've been in the

program 30 plus years around it all the time for 10, 20 years. I am the only human in all of those years that had a spiritual awakening like I did. Just poofo removed thousands of people I was

“around never heard that story. People have to work the program. I worked the program now. It's”

all part of my service experience strength and hope. I've got a global podcast around the foundation of a 12-step meeting. We share experience strength and hope. Well, my friend, my client, she couldn't stop. I said, that's on you. So what do we do? We would prepare her at a time. Less words, honey. Go there and just say less and less and less. And every time she'd say less, he'd yell less. It's already kind of toxic. But when he's screaming and cussing at her,

and she couldn't defend herself because her steam was too low, we helped her build her a steam and her change, her behaviors were the other human. Why? Because every time she was fixing him, she was abandoning herself. Why has co-dependence so hurtful? Because you're controlling someone else and abandoning yourself. Co-dependence is so toxic and so hard to see because we have close our behaviors as if they are loving and they're not. Trying to fix another human is like you

“saying, I'm God, I'm your God. That's how special I am. I'm your God and I know what's best for you.”

No, you don't. You're a control freak-as-oid and you're abandoning yourself. That's the truth. And was I right? Yes. How do I know? Because you know, this has not been working with this particular group for a while. She can see him now. He's no different. He swells. His man is literally killing himself without the whole. He knows the program exists.

The problem is he's got too much money. And since when you have a bunch of money,

you kind of drink into your own out of money. And in his case, if he doesn't do something, next couple, two, three, four years, he'll just kill over and die. I hate to say it, but it's true. And it's brutal. It's brutal. And she now can be around him and say almost nothing. Does that mean she doesn't feel pain? No. It means she feels deep pain. Why? Because she loves him. The pain, though, is compassion. And she's in her pain because she's not acting out her own.

The wound of the child and the abandonment and neglect issues of the child,

but always create behaviors of fixing and labeling it love. Now, because she's done massive

amounts of inner child work. Now she can be around a man. She genuinely loves a genuinely special kind, loving man, killing himself without all yes. But now all she feels is compassion. And griefs, and I have compassion for her. I'm sorry. I am. And I wish I could say, "Poof out. Alcoholism going. Alcoholics. Alcoholism. That's addiction. That's powerlessness." Taking your sexual prowess out on somebody. That's BS. That is not powerlessness. I'm not saying

no. Not the same. I don't care how abused you were, fellas. I'm not saying, I don't really know.

I've never heard of a female sexual predator. Can't say it. Maybe there are. All I know

is 999 out of 100 are men. Predators using force against women. And no. I don't care how beat up,

compassion for your hurt little kid inside. I have zero tolerance for your behaviors. Why?

Because every time you act your behaviors out on a woman by your rage, by your sex, by your abuse, by whatever. You're abandoning that little boy inside. Who is already abandoned by mom and dad whoever neglected you as a kid. So they're not the same thing. Alcohol, pure addiction.

“Powerlessness to addiction. That's why it takes a spiritual program like 12 step to heal. It truly”

does. And if you're around somebody drinks too much and they're not seeking 12 steps, I'm sorry. You're either going to deal with a drunk or you're going to have to go. Go visit the voicemost. And I hate to say it like that. It's not callist. It's just truthful. And do I have empathy for it? I do. But do I know there's a solution? Yes. And for you, people out there that are in your 20s, 30s and 40s, when's the last 10

we went 90 days? Start now. Right now. You're not a teenager anymore. You're not a college student anymore. Literally, this is a fact. A couple that I met, cousin of mine in his wife, 10, 12 years ago. He came to me as wife was drinking too much. She just was. He was concerned because, you know,

we all drank a lot in high school and college. He didn't. He's an order named granny never drank

that much ever. But as wife did, and you know what? To her freaking credit, she stopped. No program, no nothing. Now she stopped in her 40s. Not now a 60. She stopped. Another cousin of mine,

“freaking just stopped in her 20s and 30s, not in her 60s. So what are you doing Saturday?”

Well, it's a Friday night. Joey got a drink. That's BS. No, you don't. And I say it because it might still kind of be cool when you're 30s. But now you have a choice you can change and stop for the health of stopping. You'll reach a point. I promise you, you'll reach that tipping point

to where ability to stop alcohol shifts. And once that happens, it's a spiritually

event. You die drunk like everybody else does. And I have to say it because I'm trying to help and I care. I genuinely care. And most people around you, if you're that drinker, they don't have the ability. They're not in the program and they're not in the balls. Well, you're talking to the guy who's got the ability, done it myself and been in a program. And there's no reason for alcohol. Zero. Not a. There's not a health reason for it. My saying cut it all out forever. Yes. But if you can't,

at least cut back, be honest with yourself and ask yourself the question. This particular healing happened right from my client. And now she's like, I can't be around it. My heart breaks. I can't see him like this. My heart breaks. And she feels bad. She feels bad. Like I shouldn't abandon him. I said, honey, he's a grown man. He knows the program. All this does walk in the same place. Everyone else didn't pick up a white ship. And her heart's breaking because she sees her spiritual path

leaving somebody she genuinely cares. Folks, let me explain something. We are a spiritual being having a human experience. Love is a human experience. Love when it comes to a higher power is not an action step. It's a state of being. It's a presence. Love defined as God is not an action step. It's not an adjective. It's a noun. Human love is action steps. And I'm telling you, you are spiritually growing. So the people around you, your relationships are either growing,

“are they're going? Does it have to be the all or nothing? No. Is it a lot of time need to be?”

Yes, it does. For your spiritual path and theirs, my friends in Connecticut, because the female friend stopped begging him to come back and stop begging him to fix himself. This big bad Mr. Macho, take my rage out and everybody's against me. Three days later, he came crawling back to mommy. You don't love me anymore. I'm sorry, you know, I'm doing this and I'm that. Did he stop drinking? No. Did he eventually? Yes. I'm happy to say a couple of weeks ago, 10 to 12 days.

He went back to the program. He's the gentleman I said, John, time to stop praying like a Christian and start praying like a warrior. We got a fight here, John. We got a fight.

God is here to give you the strength and courage to help yourself. God is not codependent.

“This whole delusional ridiculousness that I see projectile everywhere.”

Oh, if I just to pray more, God's gonna rescue me. I'm not cussing when these programs anymore, but right there, I would give every ugly adjective. I've ever have in my whole life because that is a bold, face, non-truth. God is not here to rescue. God is here to give you the strength and courage to rescue yourself. To walk out your

self. True. True. Now, my saying miracles never happen. No, of course not a miracle happened to me.

I don't ask God for any miracle. It just happened. My saying God doesn't create miracles. Yeah, God does create miracles. You know what the miracle is? Giving you the strength to walk out. You know, the miracle was in my friend John. He went through misery. The miracle was.

“I got his wife to sit on the couch long enough so she could feel her pain,”

which caused him to feel his pain differently. So because she didn't act out codependently, he was forced to go into a depth of dark. He never knew existed. And it was in that depth of dark that he eventually said I need help. Why? Because his wife, the miracle was his wife said on the couch. The wife, an active everyday codependent, said on her couch, felt her feelings.

Where was the miracle for him? Because she wasn't, I said to her, she said, always having a really

hard day. I said, you know, I know the sun's hard and harsh, but I'm glad. I'm glad he's in deep, dark. I can't breathe. I want to kill myself misery and pain. Why? Because if he never reached that spot, they took the gun. He hadn't given a kill himself. If he never reached that spot, he never reaches a place of surrender. Well, he did. And I'm here to say, don't hear from them. They're going to meet a couple weeks, which means it's working. That's always

the great news. I am here when people are in stress and strain. And when I don't hear, I'm in glory. Because that means it's working. And I'm very, very happy for them. The part of the process, right, where as we look at ourselves, and we start becoming a different person. In the past,

there was everyone else's phone. Now, I always look my side of the street. Who was I becoming

before I was an active addict? I was every behavior was satiating addiction. Now, I live in a place of empowerment. Do I still get my buttons pushed? Yeah. Do I still feel pain? Yeah. Am I in a powerful communion with the power greater than myself? Yes. I am. No question. No question about it. So, what's the gift? Well, the gift and to be coming the person that my higher power created me to be is all about giving back now from a place of overflow. Love. And all of us can do that.

One of the ways I'm giving back is I'm finding five or six different support websites out there divorce post is my first. I'm going to have five or six. I don't know these people. There's no benefit or show. Why do I feel so much glory? Because I know right now, somebody is listening this around the globe, or your partner just came in and said, and I don't love you anymore. I mean, I can't. That was brutal to hear. And what was even more brutal is I had no place to take it,

had no place to help me. And I'm just big enough strong enough for, you know, I just bulldoze through. So, I have a passion for that. I'm going to have five or six others. Why? Because I want my listeners, my friends, all of you are my friends. I want to be able to give you places to go

“for the long-term support. Why? Because that's how we heal humanity. And each of you today,”

you want to start living as your higher power, you want to start living as your higher presence, find your thing and start giving to it. Whatever your thing is, I started an on-profit project smile.world where I support two orphanages and Uganda about 80 kids. That's Joe's thing. Now, over time, I'll have on my website are on the description page. I'll have projects mild.world. And if you're somebody that wants to give five bucks to projects mild, I guarantee you,

you'll see pictures where it goes. We literally right now just gave them $80 and then $60 for fertilizer,

done this garden. The first time it was a little more. Well, you can find your person. You can find

“your place. Find a website out there and tell people about it. Find a church function and just go”

help. Find a dog rescue. Find an orphan. Find your something and start giving back. A little. Now, when you're giving back, don't give back for the need for acknowledgement. Give back because it feels good to give back. And if you're not at that place, that's okay. You'll get there. You will because the more we're growing, the more we feel this sense of wanting to share with somebody else. Please understand, there's two sides. All of us are on one side of the other. We're on

the side that needs support. Or we're on the side of being the support tour. If you've got a happy

marriage and everything is great and everything is wonderful, I promise you right now you know somebody

“at your church, a family or whatever, that's probably going to get in a horse. Why? Because we're”

growing. Humanity is waking up. It just is. So that's a perfect example. You can be the support tour. Refer to that website, divorce post, just like I do. Be that person. Or if you've got a couple extra bucks, don't add a little more. Be the person. You know what I tell my kids? I don't care how much the bill is when I'm at a restaurant. That young woman or that young man is working while we're eating. I give 10 or $20 every time. Somebody said, "Well, Joe, the bill is only six. What

does that have to do with anything?" That $6 scrambled eggs, that human being there. They still had to bring it to me. It doesn't matter if it's a $50 stake or a $6 egg. So become that person. Now, you can do that tomorrow. Oh, I can't. That's not true. I tell my boys all the time. You know that $10, that $12, that $20 means nothing in my bank account. Almost literally nothing. But for the person receiving it, is $20 change their life? No. But $20 showed them that I appreciated them being them.

“And that's how we heal folks. It's we're at that place towards time to give back.”

And it's also, we're also at that place. The last thing I will leave with is that there are people in your past that you know what? If that angst with, are you been mad at? Are they been mad at you? Am I saying column up for give them? No. No. I'm not. But you can text them. "Hey, how are you?"

Are you can years ago? What I did? I never got a Christmas card. Literally ever. My sponsor said,

"Well, how many Christmas cards do you send?" I was like, "Uh, none." The sheer gel start. I started with 12. 12, 12 Christmas cards. Folks, we're coming into the Christmas season. So I just said to my son, you know, we're going to get Christmas lists for you, bud. And come November. We're going to buy $10 with Christmas cards. You get sent 10 or 12 Christmas cards. So folks, if you're that person, start this year. Does it have to be 50 people? No. Let it be

five. Send a Christmas card to the sister you haven't seen in forever. Send a Christmas card to the mom and dad that hurts your feelings and hurts you. So bad. Send a Christmas card to the old friend you haven't heard of. You think about all the time. There's not a human being on the planet that within five minutes you couldn't find their address. Technology. So you start being that person now this year who just gives a little bit more. Add $5 if you typically give

$2 give 7. The $5 is going to do nothing. The person on the side of the street. Oh, they're beggars. They're no kidding. I said a long time ago, but for the grace of God, go, I, I was an active alcoholic. Most of you were. I could have been that person. So if I have cash, I give it. And what's that three bucks going to do in your world? Nothing. Do I care where that person takes the three dollars? No. Why? Because I don't do it for them. I do it because when I give the three

dollars, our five are 20 are 100. It feels good for Joe to give. Every year when my boys and

my boys. Every time there was a Santa Claus ringing at Salvation Army, I'd have my boys give the

“$5. Start being the giver a little bit and watch how your world changes. You know, the spiritual”

process of waking up, the spiritual process of emotional growth, the how true is when you get triggered, when you feel a big angst in you, use it as a red flag, step back, sit down, ask your little kid, ask inside what's going on and listen, sit and listen. Understand, if you hear your voices in your head with somebody else's name in your voices and your sentences, that is codependence. Write 'em down. I need to fix him. I need to help him. I'm responsible. Write those voices down.

Any voice, other person's name in your sentences and your head, write 'em down. Because that's codependence, that's not off. As you feel the depths of your stuff, it doesn't have to be massive. It might be five minutes and might not be anything, but you're identifying you. You're bringing your awareness inside of you. As you heal the deeper stuff, there's going to be a grander sense of okayness. And from that grander sense of okayness, how do we live it? We live it by starting the

action step today of telling your kids you'll love 'em. Text 'em. Moji 'em. Tell somebody, tell the

young people in your world, tell your family members. And yeah, if you've never done it,

they're going to think you're crazy. Great. Hopefully you do it so much, they don't think you're crazy anymore, because it becomes a custom. We start the process of giving. And then, you know, as you've got a little bit more, give a little more of your time, of your wisdom, of your treasure. Start a podcast. I did, did I have any idea we're going to go? No. I just started and here we are. Find an orphanage. Did I have any idea what's going to happen with that? No, go to LinkedIn,

just like I did. They're everywhere. How do you know if they're real? They'll have a certificate.

“Get on what's up. You can talk to them directly anywhere around the planet. Now, do you have to go”

to that extreme? No. You know? But if you're some of these movie stars, gentlemen, I believe

it's Matt Damon owns water.org, water.org, $100 million. Do you have to raise $100 million, make it

ever? It's no. I'm not asking. It doesn't matter how much. It matters that you're following the higher you. Who does your higher power want you to become? Your higher power wants you to become the person living as the giver instead of the taker. Your higher power wants you to become the person living as the supporter because you've been supported. You've been on a healing journey for a while. If you're new, it's fine to be on that side of needing support. But most of you, if you make it an

hour and a half, one of my podcasts, you've been doing this a while. I mean, you just happen. So where is your thing? How do you live as your higher power? How do you know you're literally doing it? Look at the people around you. If you bring in a smile to their face, you're living as your higher

“power. That's why I end every episode with the one smile at a time. As we identify our stuff,”

we take care of our side of the street. As we embrace our emotions, we heal the depths of ourselves, as we understand the voices in our head, trying to fix somebody else's coat of penance and not love. We stop abandoning ourselves. We start healing ourselves. The more we heal ourselves, the more autonomy we feel. The grander we feel, it's called freedom. In that freedom, you're going to sense a oneness. And in that oneness, how do you live the oneness? It's moving from gratitude

to grace. Grace is the experience you experience through the act of giving back. And folks, there's more and more of us give back, more and more of us heal. And together, we're healing, together, we're changing. And together, we're healing humanity. One smile at a time. And from around the world, welcome to we. So that's it for today's episode of the Wii podcast. Head on over an Apple podcast or wherever you

listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener, every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will win a chance to the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Joe himself. Be sure to head on over to wepodcast.lovil and pick up a free copy of Joe's gift. And join us next time for the Wii podcast.