Why You Feel Disconnected From Everyone — And Why Nothing Is Helping

for more, knowing something is missing. Then this podcast is for you, so here's your host, Joe Mitrigan. Hello, and welcome to We. My name is Joe Mitrigan, and I'm the host of the We podcast. I want to welcome everybody here today. It's a beautiful sunny day here in Atlanta, Georgia.

The 31st day of March, and it's just a great day to be alive. I'm super excited and just loving everything that's happening. I have to tell you, my world is going extremely well. The podcast is exploding across the globe, and I am just extremely grateful. But all of you are here and all of you have been supporting me and the podcast and the We movement.

And I'm full of gratitude today. I'm just really, really excited. And today's topic, I've got an interesting topic for today.

“And the title of this particular episode is, why do we feel so disconnected from everybody sometimes?”

And I remember the first times I started to feel that experience.

It was really kind of a challenging time in my life. I really did not know what was going on. And I'm going to talk about that in more detail now. I'm going to share with you why it's happening to people more and more every day because of the awakening process. It's happening around the globe.

But we're going to get into that conversation a little bit deeper. But I have to ask you the question, have you ever been around like a lot of people? Like literally in the middle of a party, but can't really connect anybody? Have you ever literally been in the middle of a conversation with somebody? And you hear I'm talking, but you can't necessarily feel what they're saying.

“Have you ever been around an environment, a family group, a church group, a social event that's very familiar to you?”

But you kind of feel like you've never been there before?

Well, welcome to today's world. Welcome to we quite honestly. Because if you've had any of those experiences or similar experiences to that, it makes a lot of sense. The society, the world, is identifying itself more as a spiritual essence than a religious essence. I heard that stat, oh gosh, I don't know a year ago or so.

And it stuck with me ever since. And that's a perfect metaphors, the perfect way to kind of caveat into what's really going on with each individual out there. That's on a spiritual path. And things are just different. And you know, the world is different.

The world is waking up, humanity is waking up. And you're either waking up with it or you're not. But in either way, it's not a judgment of good or bad. It's not a right or wrong. Nothing I say here is about absolutes. My message here at the We podcast is about sharing my experience strength and hope. And hoping to bring some clarity for people that are on a path of that can be really confusing sometimes.

Hoping to create a unity, an organization of like-minded, like-hearted, like-spirited people that can come together in communion.

“That's why I hope you're visiting my website, wepodcast.global and signing up for our list and things.”

Because we're going to be having live events and anybody that's listening to me here, I want to meet you. I want to get to know you. I want you to get to know me. And we're going to have some online events where people can ask questions directly. And I want to ask questions of you.

You know, one of the biggest reasons I started the We podcast was to create a community. A week, a group, an organization of like-minded people that literally have the same type of vision that I do. And that is to heal humanity. And that heal humanity concept as I'm thinking about it more and more as I'm experiencing it more and more. I've had some fabulous recognitions of me being right, quite honestly.

And that means basically, I understand that I get it in a very deep level that the more I can help people wake up to their divinity, the we part of their divinity.

And what is we, by the way, we each individual sense of self, each individual person is made up of a multi-dimensional being. You're not an isolated me, you're not. You're a multi-dimensional being. There's an aspect of you called human, your humanity. There's an aspect of you called divinity or your higher self. And there's multiple aspects of you called your inner self.

I don't really care what you call it, quite honestly.

I'm not here to put labels on people. I'm not here to tell you anything. I'm not here to tell you what to call or how to call or what adjectives to call these different aspects of yourself. Because everybody does it differently.

“And that's why everybody is welcome here.”

There's no right in wrongs. It's my question to people. Are you following that higher sense of yourself? Are and/or and are you discovering and listening to the deeper parts of yourself? Well, I can tell you as those positions in your world,

start getting more and more of a primary action in your life, the communion with a higher power or this thing called spiritual growth, or the connection with your inner self or this thing called personal growth, as those things start to happen more and more. As they start become more and more of a primary position in your life. You think about it more.

You talk about it more. You pursue those types of ideas more. The external world just becomes that much more confusing. And I can tell you for myself for many, many, many years. I had no idea that the true answers in life were inside me. I just thought like everybody else, that my life was that in which I saw.

“That my life is that in which I experienced outside of me.”

And over time, I learned that's just not the case. My external world isn't the source of me. My external world is the reflection of me. Let me say that again. My external world is not the source of me.

My external world doesn't define me. My external world is a reflection of me. And when I learned that, it started to make a little bit more sense why there were certain times the circumstances and certain types of situations that I used to love being in.

“I used to love being around that I started changing.”

I started changing and not being there. I started shifting and not wanting to do things that I did for years and years and years. And that whole position in life sometimes it's really simple to shift out of the old playgrounds and playmates. But other times it's hard because the person you're outgrowing is your partner or your spouse or your best friend or your parents or whatever the it is.

And I'm here to kind of bring some awareness of what's going on so that we can help basically guide through what's happening to you.

And for me, when I was really in the beginning phases and I wasn't in a personal conscious awareness yet. But I would literally live life and I kind of felt like I was living life through a fishbowl. Like I was on the outside looking in at life and I could see people, I saw people interacting. But it's like I couldn't connect and back in the day connect was more of an external behavior. But I went through that era of time to where nothing I did seemed right nothing I did felt right nothing.

No part of my path seemed like I was at the right spot and if you're in any of those places please understand I got it. I really do and it's not easy it's not now. The great news about today versus where life used to be in the past is that there's so much more support out there. I literally and being asked to be a keynote speaker at an event coming up here in Atlanta in May called the Alive Collective.

The Alive Collective is being promoted by my life coach which I haven't asked her yet if I can give her name to a million people but I will she's an amazing woman.

And because I have a life coach and I've had a counselor or a sponsor or somebody my entire adult life I have one now too. I have somebody I hope you have your person you can trust you can share things with that you can get feedback from and if you're in deep dark pain it needs to be a therapist. If you're in if you're in a world that's moving you know pretty well maybe a life coach but everybody needs those that that's somebody everybody needs some type of support. I can tell you that this Alive Collective she's put together an organization of higher vibrational people that get together and the more that people like this are together the more they kind of acknowledge each other and see each other and push ideas off each other the whole group raises.

Is that higher vibrational you mean I always call it glass full glass empty well the glass full part of you is you divinity site itself it's the part of you that seizure tomorrow greater than you're today it's the part of you that is a favorable agitives in your head instead of the critical.

It's the part of you that's able to give back instead of always take and that part that higher you the divinity you as more and more people are waking up to the possibility of that.

There's more and more people coming together and literally creating communities like that so right now if you're in some confused spot and you know there's something more but you don't really know how to do it. Where to do it how to connect how to be supported the great news now is you go online and you just start looking for groups that support. Conscious growth spiritual awakening anything like that and 12 step groups are perfect for it there's massive numbers the group spiritual groups and in churches and religious synagogues and places so they're support.

“I know and create a new mirror for yourself and that's really really important because for me.”

Back in the day back years ago basically I always believed that connection with another human was based on the behavior patterns of what I did with that other human.

If we liked to play football they were my friends if they liked to drink they were my friends if they liked to smoke marijuana they were my friends. I happened based on the behaviors the interactions the actions steps we took outside of ourselves and I was anything wrong with that no not at all but over time it didn't work anymore I was in the same groups doing the same things with the same people and even though they were physically there their bodies were in front of me.

Communion with these people I really didn't and from that position and there's a real sense of disconnect.

“That's why I started off by saying do you ever feel like you're disconnected from everybody and if the answers yes.”

Our brain says there's something wrong with us we're doing something wrong we must be wrong we must have done something and this is not the truth the truth is you're spiritually growing you're personally growing you're shifting you're going into a grander you and from the grander sense of yourself. When the connect with people and places and things and ideas and jobs and careers differently you connect differently in the interim it can be very confusing in the interim it can be really lonely in the interim it can be scariest crap and I'm telling you there were days in my past where.

In weeks and weeks I would feel this deep sense of aloneness and lonely and. The behaviors of my yesterday I couldn't do because I was working to get sober I was working not to drink I was working not to drug and in those initial months and years. Because my entire adult life the way I connected to people was by drinking and druging with them when I removed the drinking and the druging I also removed the people which that was a good thing from a place of sobriety it was horrific from a place of my life shows world my Tuesday morning my Thursday afternoon my Sunday afternoon they were just vacant there wasn't anything there.

And in my world it was pretty extreme but in most people's world as you start growing as you start shifting as you start expanding. That which you used to call normal you won't be able to call normal anymore now does that mean. You have a spiritual awareness or spiritual awakening and all that you got to get rid of all your friends and divorce your partner no of course not no that isn't what it is.

“It's more about as you become a grander you then quite honestly you'll have more to offer the people that you deeply care about.”

The intro though it can be confusing I literally was just on the phone where the woman not long ago and she and her husband had been had dated each other for many years and he was a drinker and she was a kind of drinker and they partied and other both in their mid 30s and then he reached a place to where.

So by the grace of God he got himself into a program and started to change and started to create a relationship with God these two are both Christians so they have Jesus in their world.

“He got into a program and started creating connection with people in sobriety which was fantastic.”

The problem was he would then have new connections in his sobriety and his A groups and then when he come home to his wife he and she would sit there and they were kind of lost with each other. They were kind of confused they didn't know how to connect anymore and I asked her I said so what did you guys do to connect before we drank together.

Oh what else did you do to we did some drugs together. Oh well what else did you do well we you know we were both pretty critical people we kind of commiserate making people wrong.

“Maybe those things anymore right right so her lost what was lost he moved from living an alcoholically active life to pursuing a relationship with a higher power and getting sober removing alcohol and she was in the process of catching it up.”

It's very very interesting because in the beginning they really question their marriage like is it going to last because it wasn't built on faith and trust and community and higher connection and relationship with the power greater than themselves. It wasn't what their relationship they got married they got drunk together at their wedding. Well happy story here she got into a program she got into a woman's group he's now well over a couple years sober and now they sit together and in their world they read the Bible together.

“They go to on mission trips together they give back into the community together when he has a hard day she sits and listens when she has a hard day he tries to listen.”

I was telling her you got a teaching what you need what you want a man's initial instinct is to come in and rescue where in reality when a woman's hurting all she needs is to hear your sorry when a man's frustrated all he needs to hear is that you're here for him and they started to learn how to connect with each other through the emotional sense of self. They started to commune together because they had the same position the same belief of a higher power so they would share their perspectives of a higher power.

And today I'm happy to say there are a couple years married now and they're making it but they had to go through a pretty a pretty strong shift and for myself as I went through the spiritual growth position right and I had my awakening back 30 some odd years ago. I had to literally change all of my playgrounds and playmates because I knew if I was going to get sober and I was going to stay sober. I couldn't have the people in my life that literally the way I connected what we did every day was drinking drug we would go shoot pool in bars and hang out with people drinking and druging and of course drugs of back then for Joe was always marijuana.

I was pursuing a relationship when I was single I was always seeking the satiation of female partnership as my okay mechanism if I'm with the right woman that I'm going to be okay.

And back in the day I was always working and it was always like every time I made a thousand dollars and I never felt okay the pursuit was always the next thousand the next thousand the next thousand and I was never okay never. Never matter how much money I made I wasn't okay never mattered if I had the right woman I was never okay didn't matter if my friends and I were getting along or not I was never okay and why is that because Joe was out growing. The ability to connect in my outside world as a satiating event so here what I'm saying in Joe's world and in my mid third or my early 30s I out grew I couldn't do it anymore it didn't work anymore now it did through my teens it did through my 20s I if I had people around in the right girlfriend and all that I felt pretty good I did that a great I had a great life.

Does that mean you have to leave it like I did no it doesn't but you'll when you understand what's happening it just makes it easier.

“Personal growth position basically what is personal growth.”

Personal growth is when you're in a self discovery position a self discovery attitude of you getting to know you on a grander level on a deeper level. From the position of the we humanity higher self inner self personal growth is really more about you gaining and identifying parts of yourself inside of you that you didn't know before. The source of the voice that says I hate myself the source of the voice that says he's an idiot the source of the voice that says I'm not pretty. Based guilt based voices in your head none of those voices are sourced from your head none of them your head the voices you hear in your head are the consequence of an emotional part of you hurting in your heart and in your belly.

“That's why the positive affirmation thing doesn't really work it doesn't change anything now I always have to caveat because if it's working for you great keep doing it but if it's not understand why because.”

There are programs out there there's people out there that have millions of followers and I'm like. I wonder if it's working rather keep telling people to do it and for me it never worked it just didn't why and I learned because for Joe I was never really trying to change the voice.

I was always asking the question why do I have the voice in the first place what is the source of that voice the source of the voice is inside you in the deeper parts of you.

So personal growth how you personally grow is your learn techniques to identify deeper parts of yourself you bring your awareness from the outside world looking at everything outside of yourself you bring your awareness inside yourself. And you have your awareness listen look for seek fine parts of you that you didn't know we're there and every time you find a new part that's how you grow and the growing part isn't are the awareness part isn't the challenge it's the growing part because as you become aware of a part of you that's hurting.

“Then you have to give that part of voice I used to do it through dominant non dominant handwriting perfectly fine the writing part it's when the emotion part came that got really challenging.”

And that's all why we need to have people need to have support that's why there's therapy that's why there's 12 step programs that's why there's support groups when you're truly hurting there's environments that people can be there with you for you next to you while you're bringing your awareness deeper inside of yourself. That position of growth eventually those parts heal and as those parts heal where there used to be pain fills with glory where there used to be vacancy fills with overflow where there used to be angst fills with excitement and joy.

What the reward of personal growth is and when you look back from the position of your external world isn't the source of you and your internal world you're new at doing it that's why people are waking up every day and they feel lost they feel disconnected they can't really figure out what the hell they're doing if that's you.

I have empathy for you especially if you're new because it's challenging but I can promise you the reward on the other side is quite amazing.

Now the with personal growth then you also typically the more you connect to deeper parts of yourself for Joe the grander my awareness of a higher Joe came into play that's where divinity are higher self all 12 step programs are about helping people create a conscious relationship with a power greater than themselves why. Because it's in that conscious communion that conscious contact with a power greater than yourself there's the 12 steps that help you take 12 different action steps to create that relationship a higher you a connection a relationship with a higher you well as that happens you connect with a higher you instead of going to the bar and drinking you connect with a higher you instead of.

The growth that happens for you that relationship between you the human called you and higher you grows and that's where the weak comes into position there's the humanity the person the man or woman sitting here listening to my voice right now. Inside of you you've got a deeper emotional you the mad glad sad and scared parts of you you also have a higher you the grander you the divinity you the divine essence called you where the spiritual message of we're all created in God's image what does that mean.

The image isn't your physical the images the spiritual called you the higher divinity you and the more you can create a relationship with that higher you by conversation by connection by prayer which is asking for help by meditation which is listening for the answers.

“That's how you create a relationship with that part and that's where spiritual awareness happens and I'm going to go through that a little bit further but let me back up.”

How do we truly change where does all of this make our life better.

Well it's not in the awareness part it's not in the growth part it's in the awakening part and let me explain that. We're all here on the planet right we're all doing the best we can trick into we're all trying to have a good life we're all trying to.

“Be productive and be successful and love our kids and love the world we're all trying to do that some people are doing it pretty well.”

If you're anything like the way I was failing at every component of it now most of you if you're on this podcast you're not failing at everything but you're failing it's on stuff why.

The answer isn't external this was my hardest awareness I'll never forget it I'm down in Savannah and I newly married at this point I've got a two 18 month old my son Joseph's 18 months and my wife style of parenting and my style of parenting we're very very different but I met my past wife we had a great you know love it first sight literally. Literally we dated for a while we got married we had a baby now this is over three or four year period times and nothing was fast. But then we had a baby everything started to change not because either one of us was right or wrong but it wasn't until we had a third entity in our world that we really identified our differences prior to that there wasn't a difference everything she liked I liked everything I liked she liked.

“It at least within ten or fifteen percent right.”

There has to be a little bit of variety there's no true communion or no true relationship well.

That was where it was but the way we parent it was different very different. Well we have an experience with my oldest son we're down visiting family and her style of parenting was he's in a brand new room in a play pen he's 18 months old and her style of parenting is. Let him cry until he passes out. Well, dad Jo just couldn't do that couldn't do it wouldn't do it and I didn't care but the environment was saying I walked in there I sat with my son I held my son I put him in my arms I put him over my shoulder I cuddled him I loved on him.

Would she have done it that same kind of way yes but in a very different way why because she was raised that you let him cry and then they figured out. I was I was after years of inner child work saying the last thing I want to do is abandon my 18 month old and let him an 18 month old figured out all by himself. So anyways long story short huge blow up me against her and her entire family people are staying with and that I care no why because I was strong with my little kid I was strong with my inner child and strong with my son and.

The bottom line the argument and the fighting and new name so I'm driving home and my pastor which happened to be my past wife's father I call him and I just knew it was going to be on my side I just knew I was right I just knew loving and nurturing and being gentle and being connected and collected with my son Joseph was the right thing.

He says Joe sounds to me like you're kind of in a blind spot.

“Like what yeah, Joe kind of sounds to me and he's got the preacher voice right this man is fucking fabulous he was been a friend for years.”

He says Joe sounds like you're in a blind spot and I really at the moment didn't know what to tell you's talking about it's like what are you talking about blind spot I'm right there all wrong don't you see it. He said to me Joe.

What we need to help you do is see what you're missing.

I didn't like that answer but I was a man of awareness I was a man searching for answers. We got off the phone there was no restitution in that moment I just knew I was right and they were wrong. I was right they were wrong but you know what I found out later is that there is no such thing as right and wrong for Joe I needed them especially my wife to be different for Joe to be okay.

And I call that my Savannah experience because from that moment forward I really realized that the partner you have in your world and in this case was my wife at the time.

“The partnership you have in your world is truly there more as a mirror of where you need to grow not they need to change.”

And that was a gut punch for me it really really was because the true essence of how my oldest son was parented wasn't the issue. It was the blow up it was the anger it was the angst it was the powerlessness it was the all the chaos around my 18 month old that was the issue was the wound was me acting out. Now were they acting out I'm sure there were but anything they did that is nothing to do with Joe they need to find that in their own therapy sessions but for Joe what I realized in that moment. Later it didn't happen at the time but I realized after that experience is that my partnership with my wife quite honestly.

If there was something in my wife that I needed her to change for me to be okay that meant there was something in me not okay. Every time I would get in an argument or a fight or a I'm right and she's wrong and I just knew I was right and she was wrong but I learned over time is there is no such thing as right or wrong. I was trying to change her because I wasn't okay. Now you're in relationship now you're listening here you've got people in your world right now they push your buttons right now is we're speaking there's something in somebody close to you a partner a friend a parent a sibling.

A sister a brother that you just know if they would change everything it'd be better. Well folks and ain't about them changing it's about you changing me in this case this the my Savannah experience was about Joe changing. And I'll never forget because I was in therapy my therapist pearl I took this whole thing to Perla and Perla helped me see goes back to that that same one finger out three fingers back well what was my one finger out I just needed my past wife to change because she was wrong. Well no she isn't wrong she might do it different than me but that's not to make a wrong my need to make her wrong is the red flag hear me.

Joe's need to to make her wrong was my red flag so if you're sitting here now and there's some experience in the center of and you keep telling yourself that they're wrong.

“You need to look at you need to go inside yourself need to ask yourself what are you experiencing what are you feeling what was Joe feeling in that I was feeling powerless.”

I was feeling angry I was feeling lost I was feeling alone I was feeling isolated I was feeling all of the uncomfortable feelings in me. But I was so busy making her wrong I was abandoning myself literally well over the following months I reclaimed those parts I eventually made a mens I eventually saw my side and that's all we can do in relationship we have to see our side of the street. Hopefully you're in a relationship with somebody where they can see their side but if they can't. You're okay this comes from you seeing your side of the street and that's personal growth.

Through therapy through support I gave those deeper parts of Joe a voice literally my inner child and we talked and you grieve and without just the whole process that I can't get into right now but I gave that part of voice I did well as that part grieved and that part felt better. My need to make my past life wrong went away. I the freedom I gained from my own personal growth is that she could do an action step ABC and I could do the exact same thing XYZ and even though we were doing it completely opposite I didn't have to make her wrong because we were different that was my freedom truly.

“Awakening to growth is the freedom we experience and that's the same thing from spiritual awareness you can be spiritually aware that you have a power greater than yourself.”

You can learn to grow and a connection with that higher power but how do you truly change your life? How does things actually literally become different in your external world?

Well the difference is when you start following a different internal guidance system the part of you that makes your decisions. If you're being guided by a part of you that's making everybody wrong and it's a fear-based voice and not good enough and not smart enough that the glass empty voices your external world is going to mirror your internal glass empty voices.

“With spiritual awareness and spiritual awakening how you awaken to and change things is that you have to learn the difference between the part of you that's the wounded you the glass empty voices and the divinity you the glass full voices.”

Well how do you change your world literally you learn how to follow your glass full voices hear me you learn how to follow you let your glass full voices be your guidance system.

The way you change your tomorrow you have to change it today how do you change it today you have to make different choices than you made in your yesterday.

“The only way you change your yesterday in your tomorrow is you have to make different choices today how do you make the different choices you have to identify the difference between glass empty voices and glass full voices glass empty voices.”

The I'm not good enough I'm too fat I'm too skinny she's too ugly he's too stupid all those voices those are your glass empty voices I'm never enough I'll never make enough money all of those are glass empty voices.

When those voices are helping you guiding you making your decisions they end up making decisions that create your external world to mirror them.

Glass empty well over time we've got techniques to write down all those glass empty voices and then what are the voices that are left the glass full voices that divinity voices. It's one thing to be aware of the divinity voices it's another thing to grow and really hear the divinity voices it's a completely different thing to take action on your glass full voices. As you take action on your glass full voices that's spiritual awakening you're waking up the spirit in you you're following it you're changing it as you do that your external world is going to mirror the glass full you.

The glass full you is going to create more of a glass full external world and that's how it changes awareness is the beginning growth is your learn about it living it is the awakened part both from the spiritual perspective and the personal perspective. Spiritual awareness the spiritual growth idea creating relationship with the power greater than yourself you can have the greatest relationship in the world with whatever you're calling the entity. If you don't implement that part guiding you nothing changes your external world still sucks why because you're not changing and that's the whole process to that that's the seventh step in the program we have to ask for strength and courage to actually have the courage to change.

But the awakening process is when you literally are taking actions based on glass full and from that position the glass full position then the world starts changing your external world starts changing and where's the freedom come from I can tell you one of the most confusing parts of relationships and why people spin and they never feel like they're growing is because you can feel disconnected from the world.

That's why I'm not a fan of the positive affirmation concept because those affirmation voices the voices you're trying to change changing the voice and kind of act like the voice is something other than the hurt it really is. It's like putting a bandaid over a wound and wondering why the wound is still transferring if we identify the voice as a red flag you go into why the voice is there it's going to be an inner part of you the healing of your heart doesn't happen from the outside in the healing of your heart happens from the inside out.

“It typically happens in sacred silence it typically happens one on one in therapy it typically happens in this in the safe environments of 12 step meetings or support groups or women's groups it happens for most in some type of community.”

Now that's the one thing I have to say where I'm kind of calling the kettle black because I didn't have that 35 years ago because there wasn't the type of community that there is now so much of what I did with just me. But that isn't how it is today life isn't like that today you don't have to do it with just yourself anymore and the freedom that ends up happening in the words the biggest glaring difference today for Joe is the difference between glass full loving and glass empty loving. It was without question the single most addictive person I knew and the most codependent person I knew I literally believe with all of my heart if I was helping somebody by fixing them are doing it for them are getting them out of their pain was loving them.

“I just told over and over Joe that's not love I'm like what the hell are you talking about it's not love look at me my actions are being nice to that person.”

Not love are lack there of it's the intent of the action step that defines love are not love hear me your action steps can be loving but if the reason you're taking the action step is out of pain.

That's not love here's a perfect example if let's say your wife has problems with alcohol and you see her hurting you see her killing herself you see her all that and every time you look at her you want to just help her you want to just hold her neck you want to get her to a meeting you want to get her sober you want to get her whatever well here's the truth every time you see her and feel pain the pain you're feeling is in you not her.

Your code dependence is going to set the only reason I'm feeling pain is because she's in pain.

No, the other reason you're feeling pain is because her pain is mirroring your pain and every time you take an action step out of your pain to help her you're abandoning yourself and you're abusing her.

“Hear me when you take an action step out of pain you're abandoning yourself because if you're in pain you need to close down your external world and go in word give a voice to your pain.”

Most people don't do it they're in pain and they're answered to their own pain is fix somebody else and call it love. I'm not love folks. That's called codependence why because the only reason you need to fix them is because you're in pain. If you're in pain and they're in pain when you see them your pain motivates you to take action to fix them. It's not love is the action step of giving them vitamins and helping them go to a meeting and giving them water are the action steps loving. Yes, there's the motivation behind it love. No, it's codependence why because the only reason you're drawn to do it is because you're in pain and their pains mirroring yours and if you're not embracing your own pain when you're in pain you're abandoning yourself.

But a little kid in used screaming please take care of me take care of me take care of me the me and two people are too busy taking care of them the he or the she and that's what codependence is the freedom that happens on the other side and I live there now I can tell you for the most part I can see somebody in pain and how do I know I'm free does that mean I don't have any emotional reaction.

But since I don't have the same pain mirroring in myself it doesn't hurt. I have compassion for them. Yes, I have empathy for them. Yes, but since I've done so much internal work.

“I can literally watch somebody in pain feel their pain and not be in pain myself. How do I know the difference?”

Because when I was in pain myself I was powerless to not try to fix them but the motivation was because I had my own pain. I'm on the other side of so much of my own personal pain, right? I can see people and the response to somebody else being in pain is compassion our empathy and that's the difference that's the freedom I've given myself.

Years ago the way I would connect with people the way the relationships for me were developed was based on the behaviors of what we did outside.

“And then that interim period where this episode is really about I once should understand if you're feeling disconnected from everybody. If you're feeling lost, if you're sitting then you just kind of confused.”

Understand that's all part of the spiritual growth process and that's a red flag telling you that you're waking up. You of your yesterday isn't working as easily as it is that is it used to be your changing hence why that which you used to effortlessly connect to outside you're not. While you're feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything isn't because the outside is changing your changing inside.

“While the interim between that the way you heal it and you change and you feel better is instead of keep trying to connect outside you go in and heal your inside.”

Instead of the idea of not healing your heart use the disconnect from your outside world as a red flag that says I've got internal work to do. If it's personal internal emotional work it's personal growth. If you're disconnected and want to create a relationship with a power greater than yourself that's spiritual growth or spiritual awareness work. Together as both of that comes together that's where the we become so powerful and I can tell you the shift the change is so dramatic because years ago the way I would connect with my girlfriend when I was still drinking is I love the way she drank and drug like me.

The woman that I was with when I got spiritually awoken with my drugs now called being removed we drank the same way we party the same way we did it all the same. Called it love I did and I love being around her it was not easy walking away from her 30 some years ago wasn't well fast forward to my marriage and in my marriage my past life Elizabeth who is a fabulous woman she's a great mother to my boys were still solid friends today 10 years later, but what we connected on she and I was our external world.

I wanted the two kids the wife the house and the pick at fence and so did I she wanted to live an upper middle class American so did I we connected with the behavior patterns of our external and it worked for a while until such time as we had to then. And I am immune together to raise kids she did it one way I did it the other and one day we out group each other we just did now fast forward so again still kind of external it was there was a deep love a deep connect I knew I supposed to be there and I was now this is 20 years later the same woman right.

years together now 10 years on our own paths but the connect is still kind of the same but it's more from an external well fast forward to September 20 2022.

Where I'm listening to a woman that I've never met to this day literally and she's sharing and she's sharing from her heart how do I know because she was asked a question and it sparked emotion.

sharing from her heart and my heart opened wide I had no idea what this woman looked like I knew nothing about her I still almost know nothing about the same person so why do I always bring this person up because the metaphor was so profound literally I was. because I learned the concept of the real everybody in the planet knew what a real was besides Joe well this female comes up on my freaking real just not not not long ago. And she'd done an interview I hadn't seen a video anything for this woman for over two years now we're dating 2022 it's been three and a half years.

In what she wrote her divinity was speaking in her writing I connected with the divinity in her writing I heard her on a podcast and she was sharing from her heart in this particular case she was grieving over the loss of her marriage. But my heart connected to this woman living from her heart internal long behold two years later now two and a half years later I just come across another video it was on my freaking real so just like shows up and I listen it's like a two and a half minute video and sure enough right in the middle of this real the same woman now this time I see her I'm listening and the same woman is talking and sharing about this magical experience that she had with one of her employees.

One of her employees and their son and again she starts emoting this time though she's grieving out of joy and I said that's it.

“That's why I was so drawn to this woman the concept of this type of person somebody who's living from their heart inside.”

So think about the difference that Joe's gone from years ago we drank and druged the same my marriage we wanted the same type of external life today I'm drawn to a woman if I ever have a woman in my life again who lives her life from the inside out from her heart first. That's the growth that I've come through. Why? Because I went through periods of time where I felt very disconnected I used the disconnect to seek support.

In support I gave a voice to the deeper parts of myself through inner child work as I connected deeper.

“I started remembering a higher power presence in me that's why I say all the time I'm not a I'm not a teacher I don't teach anybody anything here. I help you remember what's already in you.”

That's why I say I'm not a doctor I'm not a researcher I'm none of those things I'm a guy just like you and you're just like me and that's why the we podcast is growing. Because there's no individual more or less special than anybody else we're all the same we all have the same divinity inside of us. Some of us have been doing it a little longer than others for myself I've been doing this almost 40 years I got a great podcast coming up later because I finally after 40 years came across something that I can't do.

And I'm going to leave you with that you're going to want to tune into that podcast I found something I can't do first time in 40 years.

I am really glad you're here if you're feeling disconnected from the world. I understand I really do seek communion get in groups find a community that can you can connect with the disconnect from your external world is it because your external world is wrong. It's because you're shifting and growing bottom line and if you grow into a different you please understand there's going to be emotional side that comes up you know we're male female and the spiritual side of yourself and the emotional side of yourself it's all kind of connected together.

So as you become more aware of a higher you there's going to be deeper parts of you that need a voice and typically in that deeper part of you there's going to be emotion so let the emotion come. So you're not doing it all with just you and understand that the disconnect you're feeling from the outside world is your red flag that says it's time to connect to a grander you. The buttons that are being pushed in you from your outside world understand that those are red flags that there's something in you that needs to heal.

“More and more of us do it and more and more of us get on the other side more and more of us live from that overflow position that's how we heal the world literally.”

Connection to a grander you through a higher sense of self the healing of a deeper you through giving the voice to your darkest parts collectively. We become a we individually as we come together on a podcast like the we podcast we create a movement of people living and giving back from their divine sense of self. And the more of us that live from a divine sense of self the more people are giving back from their overflow. The more overflow we share into the world the more we heal humanity and collectively we're doing it the show is exploding because more and more people are being drawn here through their humanity.

If you're bringing a smile to the face of the people around you then that's you living in your overflow and together.

“We're coming together we're connecting in a higher place and together we're healing humanity one smile at a time.”

Thanks for being here everybody I really appreciate your support and I look forward to.

My next podcast and I look forward to everybody being here and helping me on this mission to heal humanity thank you so much for your support.

“So that's it for today's episode of the we podcast head on over an apple podcast or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show.”

On apple podcast or iTunes we'll win a chance the grand prize drawing to win a 25 thousand dollar private VIP day with show himself be sure to head on over to wepodcast dot global and pick up a free copy of Joe's gift and join us next time for the we podcast. [BLANK_AUDIO]