A Week of Spray Tans, Chess, and New Bravo Casts

- Hey, it's Andy Cohen here with this week's chapter of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries Podcast. The high highs and low lows of my life is a daddy to two kids and dozens of housewives.

Joining me as always is my co-host John L.A. John.

- Hi. - John this week, I was in St. Louis for a day, cooked up another job for me to do with straight Dave. Came back to New York in time for a big chess tournament for young Ben, but she loved.

Then he hated. John got a spray tan. You all hear about that? Lots of Bravo News. And I once again am dealing with

the children's birthday party I have to plan. This is Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries Podcast. (upbeat music) Monday, March 2nd, 2026. Good morning, everybody.

I'm Andy Cohen right here in Chile, New York City with my man John Hill by my side. Hey John. - It's cold again.

“- It's cold again, but sweetie, are you in black face?”

- Oh, it's a fresh one.

Ooh, I mean, it'll be better by this evening.

- You went a little, you really went for it. I mean, did you get that this morning? - No, last night. - Wow, honey. - Okay, it's only gonna look like this for a couple more hours.

- Okay, all right. Because you go and wash your face or was, I have a whole process, I have a whole system. - Okay. - Yeah.

- You're gonna bring the color down a bit. - Yeah, I mean, this is, you know, I'm here with trusted friends and I'm not trying to impress anyone. - Right.

- So like by the time it fades, it'll look natural. - Okay. - Okay. - Very good. - I put a variety of exfoliants on early on in the process.

So it kind of like diminishes the, have you applied those exfoliants yet?

- The first layer, yes, so give it time.

- All right, okay. Very good, very good. I think it looked great. - Listen, you look like you have a savage stand. - Yeah, I do.

- And possibly African-American apparent. (laughing)

“What if this whole time I've been wearing white makeup?”

And I really am black. - Oh my God. - That would be a big reveal. - That would be a big reveal. (laughing)

- That would be a big reveal. - Wow. - Yeah. - Well, let me know. - Yeah, happy Monday.

- Let me know. - I'm here for it. Happy Monday, it is freezing. - It's like I haven't seen you in so long. - I know, it's so, oh yeah, 'cause you were gone.

- All that smell. - All that smell. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, anything for me to see of your teeth right now.

- There's some temporary situations happening on the bottom. - You have to go back to smile, Texas. - Three more times. - Oh, no.

- Yeah, but I'm excited. - Okay. - The hard part is done. - Okay, hard. - Oh, the fun part.

- I also got some earwork done. I got a new, I replaced the jewelry on my left ear. - Oh, okay. - And then I moved a little diamond baguette to that little spot.

- Okay, I can't see. Because I'm not wearing my contacts. I have my glasses on. It's a whole thing. - Maybe smile, Texas could give you some eyes.

- Well, they should. Wow, that is something. I didn't realize that. I had a night with Lucy. Lucy woke me up at about 4.30.

She had changed into a cute little summer outfit as though she was going to play tennis. Little mini skirt and tank. She's trying to manifest. She's using the secret.

- Yeah, speak it and dress it into existence. - In my room, she's like daddy, where's Ben? I go, Lucy, what is happening right now? Like, this is not, I can't do this anyway. It was stunned.

I was actually able to fall asleep after the fallout from that. I had a big day with the kids yesterday. It was Ben's chest tournament at his school. And I was there for five hours.

- Yeah. - And that tournament, are they playing

“until there's like two champions playing each other?”

They just play all day. - It's four rounds. They play a game and then they go in the auditorium, which is where the parents are waiting and then they wait for their next round to be called.

And they announce and they send the parents on a WhatsApp group, like a chart and then it tells you Ben Cohen as at seat 210 and he's playing black this time. And so then you take him in there, put him there.

And I was like, shake the hand of your opponent and their kids from all these different schools. And Ben said to this kid, I heard him when I was walking away 'cause I have to shake your hand. And this other kid said, no, I don't do that.

But, Root, he won two and he lost two.

“One of them that he won, he was like dad.”

This kid was like pre-k. I'm like, oh, okay. But the other one he did, he made a smart kid. And he kept saying all day, I love this. I meet up for another one and then when he left,

something happened and I don't know what, but he was in a foul mood and he said,

I never wanna do that again.

Like, I kept saying, can you please talk to me about what happened? Like, you can tell me anything, we're friends, tell me. And he wasn't. And then we went to a birthday party

for like two and a half hours of a friend of Lucy who has gay dads who just go for it and they're great and they really threw a great party. I'm underpaving a little fimbleful of Tegila at that party. I was like, oh, wait a minute.

Anyway, it was really fun. One of the dads who had seen me at the chest said to me very offhandedly, oh, I see you didn't

“outsource your parenting today, meaning like”

send to the kid with a sitter and I was like, shade, ah, that really hurt. - Are you trying to be funny?

I guess I don't know, but I'm like, you know what to do.

- Yeah, what'd you say? I was shocked. I'm like, I'm a single dad, like, I don't know. - Single mom who works too job. - Yeah, I was just like, really?

Anyway. - Don't look that way, that's a rude comment. I, there are many times that I've been invited to play dates with a heterosexual disgusting family. - Right.

- And the mom has set up a play date but like with the nanny or the op hair. - Right. - So like, please, everybody does. Everybody outsource his parenting at some point.

- I know. - Enough.

“- I just resent the time, I mean, it's just like,”

but also, I'm like, anyway, um, so that was that.

There was one point when he came in between rounds and I said, oh, I go, is, I go, what happened? With so-and-so did he win his game? Now, Ben didn't realize that so-and-so's dad was sitting right behind me.

And he goes, so-and-so is a terrible player. He's just terrible. And I was like, oh, I go, his daddy is sitting right behind us. And I turned to Medadi in Medadi was like, well, it's good for many of these things.

I was like, oh, God, this is- - Chess is hard, I'm glad he's doing it. I mean, and you know what, but the next time, the next time the tournament runs around, he might want to do it again.

I hope so. - The next one's May 17th. - Do you play with him at home? - No, I don't, but I taught him how to play backgammon. - Yes.

- He, we have one babysitter who actually teaches Chess and he plays with her a bunch. And there are other people he plays with. I was, I flew to St. Louis on Friday, on Friday, I'd family day at Ben's school,

Friday morning, so I wasn't able to leave until like one in the afternoon. I didn't outsource family day, thank you, to that dad who set that. And so, I had a terrible time getting to the airport.

I got to the airport was waiting on a plane to come from Raleigh Durham, and there was a weather there. It kept getting delayed, delayed, delayed. I wound up having a fit in the middle of LaGuardia,

but a ticket on Delta had to change terminals, which at the new LaGuardia is not the easiest thing to change terminals. And I was like, I was in a frame, but I got on the Delta flight.

- 'Cause you were just on that private jet life to see how the guy was. I was like, and my agent called to ask me a question, he was like, "Ah, what's with the tone?" I'm like, "Uh, I'm in the middle of a real person issue

right now trying to change terminals." He's like, "Oh." - That Delta terminal is pretty nice though. It's very nice. - Yes, it's very nice.

- I'm gonna make that switch. You know what? The terminal, I just can't get over having lived in New York for so long. The old LaGuardia truly, it was quaint.

It was stunning that airport was there. You could, get there and under 25 minutes, and be, it took no time to just get in, go to your gate, whatever was nothing. Now, it is so big, it's huge.

I don't know how they found the space because it's in the same location,

Anyway, got on the plane, and this dude,

who I've known in New York City, I bet you would recognize him. He looks like a blonde Superman. He's like, six, five. He's got a huge muscles.

He's so handsome, and he bartends. He used to bartend all the gay parties when gay events, when the guy who is the current treasury secretary, Scott Basant, used to live in East Hampton with his boyfriend,

and they would throw the biggest gay parties like all the time. I'm sure this guy was like one of the bartenders there. And he, anyway, he was, I hire him to, he now has a company.

Any, he staffs hot guys to bartend parties. Anyway, he was on my plane with 10 gorgeous guys

who were being flown to St. Louis

for this woman's 60th birthday party. And I was like, wow, she outsourced her bartenders.

“That's how rich she was, and she put him up for two nights.”

I was like, well, any of your bartenders gay, he was like, no, none of them. And then he texted me while we were in the air, he goes, go to the sixth row because the guy's gay. I was like, oh, anyway, I did walk back

and have a little-- - I've been told, you're gay. - Yeah, right, we'll know, but I walked back and I was pretending to be looking for my guy, the blonde Superman, and then, but I wound up

getting a glimpse of a person who, okay, paid me no mine. - I made you dust. I remember this guy, he's in one of those videos where the guy stops people on the street and goes, "Hey, what's up, my name is, so-and-so."

- Yeah. - I stopped people who have jacks bodies. Can I ask you about your workout and dying? - That's my guy. - I know. - He's on one of those. - I know, that's how I know who you're talking about.

“- Oh, okay, well, he's straight, by the way.”

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I went to visit my parents and the report is, my mom is, she got a great attitude, I have to say, she's in a fair amount of pain.

You know, they treat those people. They're in the hospital doing rehab, but they're on oxycodone. You know, so they feel nothing and they can do it all, and then they go home,

and then they're on it, and it hurts, and it's a little harder, and so, she's getting around, but it's tough. And my dad is, you know, he's good, but it's, you know, they're getting older,

and it was a lot. We spent about 28 hours together, and I did, well, I got there. I was like, let's make a list of everything you want me to do while I'm here.

“She's like, make sure our Uber apps are up to date.”

I want, you know, I got the mattress topper. I did everything they wanted me to do. I went to a smoothie place and looked for protein shakes that my mom might like, 'cause she needs more protein. I did it all.

So, that was good, you know, my sister lives there, and she's got a huge, I don't want to say burden, but, you know, she does a lot for my parents. So, I'm just trying to show up now, once a month, and be with them, and spend time with them.

And I will say objectively, it always cheers my mom,

of course, around, so the matters. Just that, like, she got a great night's sleep, when I was there, and it feels good to be with them. So, I'm really glad you're doing that. Yes, me too.

And I always, I never leave without having another date, and I'm like, okay, I am coming back. So, now, I'm not gonna be back for like five weeks, unfortunately, or maybe six weeks, actually, 'cause I've got spring break,

I've all this stuff. And my rule is that I won't leave the kids two weekends in a row, union in this, whatever. But as I mentioned on the show the other day, straight Dave was, happened to be in St. Louis,

Donna goes to wash you. And so, after dinner Friday night, he said, let's meet up, and whatever. So, I went and met up with he and his daughter, and his daughter's friends,

and we went to Blueberry Hill, which is a sparring, new city in St. Louis, which I used to go to when I was, you know, a kid. We're all walking in this guy's carding everybody. He, you know, usually these bars

when they're carding everybody, they do still card, like, really old people like me. - Sure. - This guy wave me through, and I was like, how dare you, like, just card me, you know?

- And yeah, yeah, they need to do their jobs. That's why they usually card up. - I know, so just card me, you know?

sings in a band. - What's a band called?

“- Can't remember, but she was a good singer.”

All covers, they sang 16 songs.

- Oh, that's a lot. - Yeah, it is a lot. I only criticism was, they took very long breaks between each song, but who's, who cares? - Are you there for all 16 songs?

- Yes, I was. - It's true. - It was really fun. Well, what happened is, what had happened was, I, I was, it turned out that I was kind of like

Bill Murray at the spa, you know, Bill Murray to grab some of those kids. - No, I didn't grab anybody, although I did me some gay, frat brothers, who, and I was like, are we gonna party at your frat out, so then they were like,

yeah, and I go, you know what, very bad, I did a gay bar.

We're gonna leave it here.

Oh, no, it was a washubar downtown, the shamrock. It was a great bar, and I loved meeting everybody and everybody was so cute and sweet.

“And, these two guys came up to me who go to Cornell,”

like, don't forget, I was on call her daddy. - Mm, right. - And I loosed slipped me, said, oh yeah, well, Sigma Kaya Cornell was like legendary for being a frat where like guys were doing it

with guys, closet, all the guys were like in the closet and they were all doing it. Well, these guys from Cornell race over to me and they're like, you really, like, sent shock waves through Cornell with your girl and daddy.

I said, that is so funny. You know, I was a Sigma Kaya. - I do, I do.

It was, anyway, well, case and point.

But, um, metilotic, great kids, and it was so fun. And David, I were like, I, Dave sent the next day because, you know, I have not seen you that loose and relaxed and so long. I go, Dave, all I really want to do is go to college bars

with you. Like, you and I are meant to just still be in college. Like, that's our, we want to go to Delhi's. We want to go to diners. We want to sleep late.

We want to stay out drinking all night. So, his wife, Ali, suggested, I guess, that we do a college tour and we do great college towns and rate the bars. I mean, I think it's a good idea.

- It is a good idea. - I think the film at Lakeland Gail. - Well, that's, I said, Dave, if we did a TikTok series of an Andy and straight Dave, go to college bars, forget it, we would, it would be great.

I was up at the bar at one point, getting a beer. And I was drinking beer all night, which is so fun. And, uh, this guy and this girl were next to me. And the girl was looking at me like, oh my God. Like, I think she had clocked me.

And the guy goes, she's like whispering to the guy and the guy's like nodding and said, no. And he goes, "Are you Jacob's dad?" Oh, and I go, "Yeah, I'm Jacob's dad." And he's like, "I thought so."

And she goes, "Yeah, but you look just like Andy Cohen. I go, "I know." And he's like, I knew it. He goes, "It's Jacob's dad." And then this other kid came over this guy. And he's like, he goes, "Any taps me on the shoulders?"

He's like, "Um, I just have to thank you." He goes, "I crashed on your couch of for two nights." Oh my God. - Oh my God. He's like, "Thank you so much." I go, "No problem, man."

Anytime. Anytime. And then like, and then the girl was going crazy and then I said to the guy, "You know, you didn't crash on my couch." And he's like, "What do you mean?"

I go, "I'm not Jacob's dad." She's like, "I knew it, you're Andy Cohen." And then I'm like, "Or maybe I'm Jacob's dad." Oh my God. - And it was chaos and confusion. It was very fun, though.

It was very fun. Anyway, I did, I did let them know what was up with that. I did tell them. Anyway, it was so fun. We had a great time.

Flu-back, flu-back Saturday night. I was home in time to see Ben before bed. It was good, like a little 24 hour jaunt to sing it. - You created a lot into that trip.

- Crammed a lot into that trip and then crammed a lot into yesterday. And made a really nice dinner with the kids yesterday. Yeah, what can I say?

“It's going to be a good week this week, I think.”

I'm getting my eyes checked, which is really good.

- As you've been looking at me this hour

is my face looking more normal to you? - No. - You're not used to it. Still, it's still striking to you.

“Like you haven't been growing a custom to looking at it.”

You look like you're in black face. I know that was the goal. - So yeah, it's going to take me longer than 30 minutes to get used to. - Okay.

I listen, I'm the guy who thinks being tan is the only way to be. And like, it's the, all I want is to be tan. I was telling Ben that on the way to school this morning. I was telling him how I used to just lay in pools to be tan.

I mean, so, let's see you get it. - Yeah, I get it. - Yeah. - It's still jarring, no, I'm not used to it. - Okay.

- Maybe by tomorrow. - Definitely not used to it. - And what I talk to reunions, traders for union and Potomac first of all, so, if you haven't seen either turn the channel, I don't know.

- Traders finale, I don't have the finale was gone. - It was great. I did think that the two episodes preceding the finale. I was like, the only person I was interested in, the only people I were interested in really was Kristen Kish

and Rob, and I was excited that Johnny and Tara got it. - Yeah. - But it was too late. And I just, that was a little bit of a problem. The people that were still there were just not mark ballasts.

I mean, this always happens.

- It's always happening. - The voters, they just kind of make it 'cause they are not a threat, so they can't kill them and they don't really need them to get out of the hospital 'cause they're just kind of, this is something that happens a lot.

- The floaters and the others. - And then the finale, but it was very exciting at the end. And, poor Mara, Rob and Mara are on, watch it up and survive, unwinds. - Okay.

- And, yeah, I mean, let me tell you something about that Rob. - Wow. - Here's a beauty. - Yeah. - How tall is she?

“- She's, at least six feet, yeah, I think she's six feet.”

- Yeah, I think she's six feet. - 10. - 10. - Beautiful skin. - Yeah.

- Beautiful skin.

We peed next to each other.

We talked about snakes. - Yeah. - No real snakes. He was lovely. Now, what was your take on the housewives bringing

housewives energy to the reunion? Did you like it or was it? - I usually even annoyed by it, but I think it fit this time. - Okay. - 'Cause Candice had good things she wanted to clear up.

- Right. - Right. - You know, I, yeah. I got a lot of mixed response on threads, which is why I was wondering,

I, I, I posed it.

“I was like, tell me all your thoughts on the traders.”

- A little bit goes a long way because it isn't a housewives reunion. - Right. - You, you don't want it to become something. It's not like you're really rehashing the game

and the choices that were made and the votes that were cast. - Rina saying, like, why did you say hostage? - Uh, yeah. - But you know what? He had a great answer.

- He is. - So I'm sure it was like, why did you? - Why did you? - Why did you say, and then sure response was, well, 'cause I'm Lisa Rina, and I could say anything.

It's like, well, okay, listen, she tried it. She tried it. - Fine. - She tried it. - She tried it.

She threw a little sprinkle in there. - Um, it was so funny. I mean, you didn't, Porsche had so much to say. I mean, I haven't seen the final reunion, but I know that they wound up cutting out a lot

of what Porsche said, like she was very verbal. I was like, 'cause by the way, Porsche is used to commanding a stage at a reunion. Did they leave in one of the women from survivor, not Natalie?

Oh, maybe she was from Big Brother, who got voted off. She just was talking about how Rob was as dull as a butter knife, and everyone was, didn't that make the car maybe? - I just wanna also point out,

a lot of people are on me for the edit of the traders or union. I'm not a producer of the show. So I did not choose what was in the reunion or out of the reunion.

Every permutation of topic was discussed. So don't hang your shit on me if you're unhappy, 'cause a lot of people were like, oh, Andy hosted it, so there was a lot of housewife stuff

there was everything in the, yeah, as we were there, but so I didn't cut it, that's all I wanna say. I applied to be on traders.

- Good, is your audition tape amazing?

- Yeah, good, my advice to wrap a port was to be calm and reasoned, didn't take it. I was annoyed to see that my collar was messed up in clips for half the reunion. And like, all they have to do was say,

"Fick your car," I mean-- - Right, what? - I took it, that's part of the reason I didn't watch it. I was like, well, I don't wanna see this. - I have one grooming note.

“- Yeah. - Do you wanna, I think if you're ever again”

in sleeveless or overalls, speaking of spray tan, you need body makeup, like some, just guess what? - Yeah. - Couldn't agree more, yeah. But also, I was, they had said to me a couple days before,

we want you to wear overalls with no shirt

for the beginning. I go absolutely not. They go, would you do it with a tank top? I go, maybe. I said, look, and I was coming off a week

where I was working so hard that I worked out one day that week with Stan and one day in Pilates, which is not a pump. And I was like, oh man, so before the show, they said, "What are you gonna do it?"

I go, let me try it on and see what I look like. I try it on, they're gassing me up, which is their job. And I'm like, so I go, just leave me be.

“So I'm looking at myself and I said, okay,”

I think this will be okay.

It's 20 seconds. - It was okay.

It was fine. - But you are on TV, those cameras, and the lighting was more my job when you have the light. - I understand, you don't need to drive it. - Your shape was great. The shape was good.

I had my skin was so dry, so pale. And I did, and the other thing that I should have done is anyone would have done, but I didn't want to screw up my hair or makeup. When I went on to the set in the overalls,

and we rehearsed me tearing open the cloak, I was standing there, and I said, there was a gauge gentleman in the, my ear, and I said, can you just be real with me? Like, is this okay?

Like, I have no, it's not that I have no, I said, I have no ego with you saying, hey man, don't do this, you don't look great. Like, you can pull this off, he goes, no, it's all good. What I should have done is dropped and done like 30 push ups,

or you bring a red band with you. - Exactly, yes, exactly, and like, get a pop. - And take some creatine, whatever, but I didn't. And I should have had them, of course, put something on my arms, and I didn't.

So, I agree with you, thank you. - But you look great. - And let it be known as soon as you dropped the robe, the robe was like, oh, he's chapped. - Yeah, he complimented you, your biceps.

- He said that, yes, the shape was great. - No, he didn't, yes, you didn't see that. - No, I didn't want you. - Yes, you dropped it off and he goes, oh, he's chapped. - Yeah, he complimented your arms.

“I think everybody seemed quite complimentary”

of your arms situations. - Who's everybody? - The whole, all of the, oh, yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I will say, typically, especially gay people on social media, just say terrible things about me, they still did,

but it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. So I was like, okay, I also think being lit from behind weirdly, it accentuated the cut of my arms, which are not bad, but my trainer's stand was very happy. - Your arms looked enormous, he would be a good,

he would be a very tough, you know? Anyway, so Potomac reunion, I thought Potomac reunion was great. I did see a lot, I posed her on threads. By the way, I've been loving threads.

Much more, I find it less toxic than Twitter. - Sure, yeah. - I, and the more I've engaged with it in the last two or three months, I've gained like 500,000 followers,

just by really, really engaging, which I'm doing. And so that's gratifying because I was feeling so bad, you know, on Twitter, I had all these millions of followers. And so I'm like, okay, I feel a little engaged in this. But I did post last night saying,

People wanted more of the Colorado talk,

and it did dominate three episodes. Bad that trip was, so I get it. I guess we felt like, oh my God, poor Angel, we've heard all these excuses so many times. And like, how many times can we hear

about the fishing experience being ready? You know, I mean, with the wilderness, I mean, but people want a more of that. And then people had a lot to say about just hell, not having a package.

“And at the, and did you see part three by any chance?”

- I'm halfway through. - Okay. - It was good. - It's good. - It was good.

- Did they, you know, I saw it. I don't think they left in me asking Karen if she got new teeth. - Did they leave on her?

- I didn't see that part.

- Okay. Where I'm at now is they're talking to Stacey, and it just, I can't get a sense of like, is Stacey the world's biggest liar, or is this all just a matter of interpretation?

- 'Cause it sounds like everyone accepts Stacey thanks to Stacey but I love Stacey, so I don't, I'm not quick to think that she's need to. Anyway, it's automatic.

Maybe she's too diplomatic to on the verge of lying over it. But Josel towards the end, we're about to wrap it up, and Josel said, "Oh, I didn't get a package." And we left that in, and she said,

and then in the final comment, she goes, "Well, since I didn't get a package, I'm gonna tell you what's up in my life." - Oh my God.

- My kids are at school, they're doing really well.

My this, that, and so she didn't, and people kept saying, "Oh, this means this about Josel, this means that about Josel, this was a big dialogue."

And I have to say, I find Josel kind of integral to the group, and Josel, I've really enjoyed watching her, and I also say, "I also will say, "I have really enjoyed Josel finding common ground "with Monique, finding common ground with Wendy."

She and Tia have been well. This is someone who has been accused of staying in her silo for years, and she wasn't friends with Wendy, and she wasn't friends with Candace, and I give it up to her for,

she's been able to find common ground with a lot of these women.

“- She shares her personal life, I think, very openly.”

Now, that was a criticism years ago, because it doesn't share enough, I feel like she does. - There are points of her dating that she doesn't share, she made that very clear, but I appreciate her place in the group.

- I do. - And I think part of the reason, I think if there had not been a Josel package, and she didn't mention it, then people may not have noticed,

but I think the reason people noticed is she was like, "Oh, I didn't get a package, whoa." So, there is just one to say that. (upbeat music) Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020, 6th.

"Hey, everybody, Melanie Cohen, with John Hill, hey, John." - Hi. - Well, I didn't want to admit it, but your face does look like it's settled into. - Yeah.

- More natural color. - What race am I today? You're a tan white person. - Okay. - Okay.

- Okay. We have light skin, yes. (laughing)

“Speaking of colors, I just want to get right into it.”

Did you see Bob Rister Highsands? - Yes. - You know what I'm gonna say? - Can I guess? - Was it a post where she marvels at her boog and via,

or whatever plant is descending from the roof and blossoming and oh my God, it perfectly matches my cushions. - And do we need to even tell you if you've ever listened to this show?

What color those cushions are? - Well, I don't think that's the dusty rose. It's burgundy. (laughing) - She loves.

- Yeah. - Burrigan. - They're like a wine. - Here was her caption. So it's a picture of these two chairs.

And with all two to the chairs. - I know. - I mean, they're like rot iron chairs. - I think they're just sitting area that no one's ever seen.

- Whatever. - She's a picture of these two chairs. And in the middle of the chairs is a bush. A window planter with like boog and via that goes up the wall. - And by the way, it made me think,

And the caption is, this is another miracle.

My cushions are all burgundy,

“but the boog and via plant doesn't come in burgundy.”

So we just planted two different colors, crimson and purple. And what do you know? Somehow they blended together and gave me the color I wished for. Is that another example of the power of thought?

I have no idea. My mouth is just hanging open. - I mean, it's almost like when she looked at the weather, the day she had to direct that scene in the end. - Oh, yes.

- And she basically called off the weather just by thinking about it. - And then, and the clouds potted, yes. - You know, this person has cloned their dogs. She probably cloned Jim Carrey.

She probably said to a gardener, go to Munsanto, find a boog and give them this duffel bag full of money. Give me a, make them in a lab, make me a boog and via.

- Here's what, here's what I'm gonna correct you on.

I don't think she's given anybody a duffel bag full of money.

“I think she's like, he has two shackles.”

- You know, you can come up with, you know? - Here's a free CD from back to bone. - Yeah, there you go. - Yeah, there you go. - There you go.

I'm gonna give you a signed paperback of the book, yes. - Now, were you aware? I've read over the weekend. I mentioned this, I started to mention it yesterday. Were you aware that Oprah Winfrey and John Tash dated?

- Yeah, I saw that. - I did know that. - I forgot, I think I did know. - Oh, I was always obsessed with that. - It made me really think, John Tash was very hung.

- Well, by the way, oh, made you think he was hung?

I think Oprah's like a side thing. - Side thing, she's a side thing. - You do? - I think she's gay too. - I think steadmen is really hung.

- Yes, really. - It's in the name. - It is in the name with all do. But I mean, you know what? I wanna say about John Tash.

- And I thought this when he was on the ET in the day, he could get it. - Like I always say. - By the way, I don't know, he's good with his hands. - That is also a man with a huge face.

- Huge hands. - I mean, this man, I've read his headways, 40 pounds. - Yes, I bet his headways as much as those rot iron chairs of Barbra's. That's what I think.

He's cranial, the other, he's so cranial. The other thing I wanna mention is the Shilebuff thing.

“So was he attacked by a gay guy or did he had a gay guy?”

- He says he was uncomfortable and a skirmish started. He was drunk and fucked up. - And he's using the gay panic defense. - Are there three gay guys in jail right now or are they in trouble or is Shilebuff in trouble

for getting in trouble? - You know what I mean? If he had been attacked by these gay guys, we would be hearing about these gay guys. - Right.

- We would be that would be a thing. But he imagined it. And he said, and he, and was that interview he did afterwards? - Yeah, he said, sometimes when I'm standing around a big gay guy, I get intimidated.

- Well, he didn't say intimidated, he's scared. Yeah, and then he was the interviewer says, "Well, did you get to that happen a lot?" He's like, "No, just the one time." And I'm a Christian and my Catholic.

- Oh my God. - Homosexuality is no. - Oh, so like he is not. - Is he using, is he a Australian? - No, but he just said not.

- Oh, and is he using this now, is his defense? Like, I saw some Instagram person saying, "Oh, he's using this. It worked in the Jenny Jones State." In certain states, you can say you're afraid of a gay

or a trans person and get away with horrible things. - Yeah, he also said he has a small man complex. - A small man complex. So just the pointing, I saw that movie about his dad and his childhood and his growing up.

And I've met him a couple of times and really felt this guy is so evolved and his learned and has great perspective and he's like, he got the short into the stick in terms of being a teen star.

And I just really felt like he grown into a really cool, grown man with a good sense of responsibility. And, you know, I don't know, this is weird. - Right. Anyway, and Shialabuff is most known besides

for being like, drunk and crazy or something, but what is he most known for? - Who's in Transformers, the original Transformers and movie called "Desturbia," right? Big movies.

- Okay. - And then he was at Nickelodeon or something? - He was like a Disney channel. - Yeah, Disney movies. - He even Steven, he's been that movie holes.

- He pulls. - He pulls. - Ironically. - Oh my God. - I just found out bad information. - Why? - Elmo's closing.

- I found that out too. Elmo is a restaurant of 25 years owned by Bob Pantarelli on 7th Avenue and I'm gonna say 19th Street. And it really was a gay.

- Yeah. - And it still is, I will say, it's huge.

- I think it's always a bad thing.

- Yeah, I mean, that's a huge place.

“- Well, that's sad. - Yeah. - When are they closing?”

- No. - Like, the building's been selling the windows. - Yeah, I guess we should roll back in there one more. - I went last weekend. - Did you? I would imagine that the breakfast thing.

- I had the wave was really good. - Right, are really good. - Yeah, gay brunch. - Yes, John, I was looking at your list of news. There's something about the McDonald's CEO.

It kind of peaked my interest. - Did you see the video? I guess you did. He's sitting there doing a taste test. He's like, "I'm gonna eat this for my lunch."

- People are just roasting him for... - It looks like it's a burger king meal. - No. - He's eating his McDonald's meal, but it's like, it looks like he's grossed out by it.

- Oh, that is so funny. - Yeah. - So that didn't land the way he thought it was a recreating it. - Oh, that's funny, okay. - Maybe I'll go to McDonald's later.

- I don't know what. - I don't know what.

“- Just talking about it is making me a little bit.”

- I live by a Taco Bell. - Oh, no, go to Taco Bell. - Just go to McDonald's for dessert. - Just do it. I guarantee you this, you're gonna poop like a rail.

- That's why I don't do it. - See, like, I Taco Bell sounds so good. I mean, I do have that new be-day, though. - Oh, boy. - Maybe it'll be okay.

- Okay. - Sanjay and Tom Holland secretly married. La Roge dropped that on the red carpet the other night. - Pink might be taking over for Kelly Clarkson, the pink show, you know what?

- Hursing in every day, I'm down for it. - Fine, in for it. Better daytime post than making Kelly, I'm sure. - Let's see, who would, I mean.

- I would put, I'd pay Scott Marlo 10 million dollars

to host a morning show over making Kelly. I mean, you know, Scott, thank you. - Yeah, well, I mean, Scott Marlo doesn't need to be catching any stress, that wasn't nice. I don't know, I mean, you know,

should have a show on in the morning? - Me. - You're gonna think I'm crazy for saying it. - The yet lady. - Yeah, you don't know, I mean, she's like, yeah.

- It's daytime, it's very inspiring to people, maybe. People are really talking about Kelly Osborne's appearance, which is not nice to do to people, and this is somebody who grew up in the spotlight, and I think really dogged on her,

people really ragged on her for her weight, you know, even as a teenager. - I know, it's like, which do you want? - Do you want her fatter thin, now she's thin. So you want her fatter, like, what, which is it?

- Well, I think she was also, there's not a grief involved. - Right, it was like, she was born and she was a father. - That being said, she was very thin before. - Very haste, right, I mean, we are in the age of Mozambique.

I have seen a lot of, anytime somebody loses a lot of weight for whatever reason it is like, woof, okay, just takes a minute to get used to it.

“- Right, spent thin for a while, though, I think.”

- Yeah, anyway. - Well, whatever, wishing her the best. - We wish her all the best. - Yes. - All the best, we talked about it.

- And by the way, I thought Robbie Williams, my man's tribute to Ozzy Osborne was awesome. - Yeah, he looks great to the other day, yeah. - That baby has a cancer update. - Oh no, bad baby, yes, cancer, aren't good.

- Yes, yes, yes, we don't know a kind yet. She's been saying it for a while, she had been, she was undergoing treatment for cancer, not really sure. Still don't really know what else going on,

she kind of dipped back in to give us an update that it's still something she's dealing with. We talked about shy, love buff. Chat Hanks is trapped in Columbia without a US passport. - No!

- Begging to be freed. - He doesn't have his passport. The naked cowboy and his wife, the naked cowgirl, they're gonna divorce, I didn't know he had a wife. - I didn't either.

- I've never seen the naked cowgirl,

I've seen his ass out there for 30 years. - I met him, I saw him recently at some event. I was paid to do. He was in his undies and he's my age and he looks good. - Yeah, there you go.

- Back with more from this week's Daddy Diaries

after this. Wednesday, March 4th, 2026. Good morning, everybody. That made me go in. Here in New York City with John Hill.

- Hey, good morning. - Girl, what's up? - Feels like spring. - I know, I'm so ready. - Oh, my God.

- We're in the light jacket. - Yeah, I'm wearing my dad's shirling. - I love this shirling coat. From the 1970s, I loved it. - I loved it.

- I'm so glad I have it. - It was ripped, I got it.

“Sown, I was walking down to school today.”

I'm like, Ben, think this snow will finally melt

now that it's spring. He's like, I don't care. I'm like, okay, anyway, the rest of the walk was nice. - Good morning, everybody. - Good morning.

- I woke up with a little bit. - No, don't say it. What? - A tickle in your throat? - No, no, a little hangover.

- Oh, you're not familiar with that. - What'd you do last is, you know what? I just parted it up at my hit late night talk show in its 16th year. I just drank everything that was brought to me

during the show, drank it like it was my job.

We had Tom Sandeval on with Chris Han,

who, oh, he's one of the only fans' cousins from Ben and Trump. - I follow the other one. I find Chris Han, I like the other one better. We're interesting.

- Who won the poll, who's the hotter cousin? - Chris Han, but I listen, they're both super cute. And I actually felt a little bad for Chris Han. I went and said hi to Sandeval before the show. And I was like, and Chris Han came in to say hi,

and I was talking to Sandeval in the girlfriend, and Tom's girlfriend, Victoria, who I like a lot,

“who I think is like absolutely stunningly beautiful.”

They were talking about Chris Han kind of shading, Katie Maloney, Katie Maloney, like, had some things to say about the new cast of Andro-Pump Rules, and I guess Chris Han said when asked about it, well, who is she?

- Oh. - So he didn't watch any of the old Andro-Pump Rules, because he didn't want to be influenced by it. And he was like, I'm just gonna go in and be me, and I don't want anyone to say that I'm doing somebody else

trying to be somebody else. Anyway, the OG Vander-Pump Rules cast was very hopped up about him saying that about Katie and put some respect on her and whatever. And so, Sandeval confronted him on the air last night.

And really kept going, and I actually felt kind of bad for Chris, and then I was like, and then all the viewers were tweeting saying, wow, like, Sandeval defending Katie Maloney, who hates him so much, and who he hates so much.

It just, it was wild. But it turned out to be a fun live show last night. Was, yeah. - Well, in that position, you wanna be the person who is currently on the show,

not the old person complaining, you know what I mean? - Well, listen, I don't know. He was on, he was on 12, I mean, he was on the iconic, you know. - Right, yes, but I mean in that argument,

“like you should let it go after you've mentioned it once, maybe.”

- Right, right. - Anyway, so Tom Sandeval has a girlfriend, and you think she's beautiful. - I do, but like after, if this person is famous for being incapable of telling the truth

or staying faithful to someone, what kind of person dates that person? - Yeah. - Just seriously asking. - No, she did question.

- Well, the question is whether he is continuing, you know. - I asked him, it turned out that last night was the three year anniversary of Skandival. - Yeah. - Presely enough.

And so I said that to him at the top of the show, and I said, what was the biggest lesson you learned from that whole thing? - I'm just wondering what the interaction is for someone. - Don't cheat.

- That was the biggest lesson I learned. So we'll see if he's learned that lesson or not. I would have to think that this guy has a lot of eyeballs

for him to cheat at this point.

- I'm sure he could find a way.

“- I guess so, I guess everyone could, anyway.”

So, you know, wish them well. - So you got drunk. What were you drinking, Tequila? - Yeah, Tequila. - Nice.

Now, when you're gonna hang over and do you take an Advil, is it just a caffeine? - I woke up, and I immediately drank a lot of water. - Uh-huh. - Good.

- Which was good. - Salted. - You need salt. - Trying to flush my system with water. Played back, I'm in with young Benjamin.

- Oh, that would give me a worse headache.

- I beat him. - Yeah. (laughing) He beat me yesterday, and I was so mad about it. I was like, you made so many dumb moves in this game.

Like, every time he makes a dumb move, I'm like, I wouldn't have done that, and here's why, I wouldn't have done that. And then he winds up beating me. So I'm like, okay, well, who's the dummy?

Who is the dummy? Sure, put a spring in his step. I'll tell you that much. He was like, I got home in the Cedricos. Ben woke up at like nine, and he wants you to go in

and cause some good night. And I went in his room, and he was laying there on his back in like, he looked like he was fake sleeping, and I went in, and I got on his bed, and his eyes opened. And he was just like, looking at me, and I go.

Like, I kissed him on the cheek. He keeps looking at me, and then he closed his eyes. And I was like, oh, that was creepy.

“Weird, and this morning, I was like, do you remember any of that?”

He goes no daddy, but you know, you keep forgetting that I sleep with my eyes open, which is what he says, 'cause he has hazel eyes. And by the way, I'm not so sure his eyes are hazel, but he thinks he has superpowers with his hazel eyes.

I know I've mentioned that a lot. Anyway, it was weird, but maybe it was just, maybe it was the, to keep, I'm sure he loved my tequila soaked kiss. Oh my god. Anyway, I did go to the eye doctor yesterday.

I had to wear my glasses for eight days, so that my eyes could resume their normal shape after 40 years of wearing hard contact lenses, so that they can do catarex surgery. And I'll tell you what, I was at the doctor,

I'm like a blind person right now. Like, I can't see what this soft lens is. I can't see what my glasses, my eye doctor, who, y'all know, is, you know, you don't like his bedside manner, yes.

He has hired this gentleman who is now, who I'm wondering if he's gonna wind up kind of giving the practice too, because he's kind of a little, he's an older gentleman now, my, my cranky eye doctor. Seems to be dying as hair, my eyes were good enough

for me to tell that yesterday. But your eyes are good at spotting spray tan. Yeah, hair dye. Yes, yes, that's right. The important stuff. Yeah, can't read the words on the screen right now.

But I clocked that brown tea. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so he's like, so he's hired this new gentleman who he really raves about who will be the person doing my cataract surgery.

And I've never really, he's talked to me about the cataract

surgery, whatever. So anyway, my eyes retain their back to their normal shape and it's all about scheduling this surgery. And he goes, now I wanna tell you about the surgery. He gets out a plastic model of the eye.

And he wants to explain what cataract surgery is. And he's halfway through, and I'm looking at him, and I'm thinking, you know what? This guy is really handsome. And I was like, I mean, I never really paid attention

to what he looks like. He's really handsome. So then I'm looking at him, and I must have been really looking at him funny.

“'Cause he said, are you interested in this presentation?”

And I said, no, I'm not. And he said, well, do you want me to explain this surgery to you? And I said, I'm good. Now, I was wondering in the car home,

do you think that's bad of me not to want to understand how much ordeal work? I think you should read it. I would for a consultation for a laser a refractive receiver surgery.

And they touched a button on the wall and the wall turned into a screen. And it was a video of what happens. And I was incredibly interested, is the dog vomiting?

Little Pete is here on Ben's lap, on John's lap.

Jordan, do you think it's bad that I understand your anatomy? No, I would have tuned out, too, and then like, I'm not doing the surgery on myself. As long as you know what you're doing,

and then-- But understanding it will help with your recovery, it will help you. No, but I asked him about the recovery. I asked him how it would be able to see. I just don't want to know the technology.

Aren't you interested though? No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I really do want to know how will I be able to see how--

how will this affect me? Will I need glasses again? Will I know whatever? And that, excuse me, he's only doing it in my left eye. I got to get the right eye done.

“Anyway, I think it's fascinating to stuff”

they can do, they show me how small the microscopic needle they know see that freaks me out. But it's interesting. I found it. Well, you know what I was interested in.

You're interested in that, huh? Well, then we were talking about scheduling the thing. And my schedule for the next, it's just, it's bad. Well, it's like a week where you can't-- Well, it's really, the thing is, I have shows.

I can't be in recovery when I have, watch, whatever. It might be funny for you to be blind during the show. You've been blind if you've been watching what you've been here for the last six months. It's been really bad. So I was like, look, and I'm going to be guest hosting the Kelly Clarkson Show

coming up, and that was just added. It's got to be on a time when we're pre-taping a bunch of what happens. I don't know. It's going to be during your vacation this summer. Well, no.

It looks like it's going to be like May 28th is the first time when I get to do this.

So I, then, but there is a March 19th, but he's supposed to fly to Dubai. And I was like, oh, I go, I'll tell you. I'm going to do that with my name. Okay. So anyway, I cleared my schedule for the 19th yesterday, and I called back.

We scheduled it for May, but then I was like, okay. So then he goes, I said, I want you to do it in Dubai because I'm going to a wedding. So then I look and he's not married. He's got no wedding ring. And I go, we need to date, doctor.

We're talking about our my recovery now. I go, you're not married. He goes, no, I said, oh, well, that's interesting. And then we moved on. Do you think he's gay?

Made me wonder. Yeah. I don't know.

“Showing any outward signs of homosexuality like pig headset, right?”

But, you know, anyway, well, doctors, you know, he is trying to be professional. He is at work. Yes. You're flirting. But he's at work.

Well, do you think that that's flirting? I think it is, it's a fun, it's a fun trope. Playful. Oh, you know, a man of a certain age wanting to know what's going on. Right.

All right. I think it's funny. I think it's harmless, but he is at work. Just job. Yes.

Yes. Funnily and off last night, I was in bed and I was looking through some DMs and some lady said, I just, you know, I like you, whatever. And I just didn't want you to know all these housewives are getting their teeth on. She goes, don't ever get the news.

It's going to mess you up to that. And I was like, guess what, I got my four front teeth and I got them done. I go in. You didn't even notice. So, there you go.

They're very well done. I agree. My dentist was on, he bartended on what happens live the other night.

It was on Sunday, it was really fun, incredible.

And by the way, every time I go see him, he's got a lot to say about the housewives who are getting terrible teeth. What I said to him on the show, I go, who has the worst teeth on Bravo, but he didn't want to do that.

“He was like, well, who would the top contenders be for noticeable teeth?”

No, it's not. It just seems not going to say, I'm not going to say. Poor Scott came in, you missed it, John Scott came into the studio this morning. It was like Ziggy had entered the room, it was so sad. It was like, good morning, he was like resigned to the morning.

Maybe it's the comment you made about him the other day. What did I say? What did you say? You were like, I would let Scott Marlow do, can make him Kelly's job or something. What was it?

What did I say? So, yeah, you'd let Scott host a morning. I even Scott did host a morning and I was like, I know what you meant, though.

I know what's in it. Scott caught a straight. It came out wrong. You caught a straight.

I know what you were trying to do.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

“I didn't realize my energy was so low walking in the studio.”

Oh, no. You walk in. You need to have your attitude right. You have to be friendly. Well, it's true.

But by the way, for you, excuse me, I wasn't the only one who noticed it. Jordan. Yes. There was a bit of a history with Scott and I, where sometimes I'll come into our office and he seems down and then like Scott was wrong.

What did I do? Are you mad at me? And he's like Jordan chill. Scott has big feelings.

So he is allowed to have them.

You're allowed to have those. So we've got a loan. He's fine. You come in here with, with a cloud every now and then, sweetie. No doubt.

Moopsie. Moopsie. Walk a mile in my house. How should I? Poutie.

“By the way, the, the, the, yes, I mean, let's see if we're sensitive people.”

We're actually Jordan. You're not that, you don't seem overly sensitive. I don't think I am, but you're normal. You're seem normal. Yes, she's normal.

Adjusted. Okay. I understand. Yes. Um, she, uh, yeah, she's normal.

Look, when I come in in the morning, I've often been through what I would characterize as like Helen Earth, three and a half hours of emotional torture when you come in, you've done your gratitude journal. Yeah. I've, I've hydrated, moisturized, worked out.

So you're worked out. But I do that for the good of the team. Yes, great. I appreciate it. I appreciate it.

And the team of everyone I just, you're going to ask it out. Bring my best to the table. I appreciate it. I said it. It, it, it, it shows.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, it shows. You're all welcome. Yeah, well, we, happy to help. I brought it to your wall to work.

Yeah, you did. Speaking of two of us, uh, let's talk bravo. I would like to tell you that I'm so excited about the cast of The Real Housewives of New York. I saw that.

We have been working on this for a while.

Uh, we, you know what, we almost, and this is, you know, there's always, everyone wants

everything now, and that's why everybody was asking about Miami, like, what is it coming back? And why aren't you shooting it and thought it out or not? And it's like an even jersey, you know, it's like, we want to get it right. Well, let's, on that topic, we, almost, did something with New York last year.

Then we had a group convo, and we were like, you know what? We are not all there yet, and there were some people that are in the cast now, that are still in the cast, new people, but then we found new, new people, right? We have three new people, and we're turning as Jessel, Erin, and size, and then we've got three new people, Erica Daisy, I look them up, and they are great for all different.

And it's all the clean's doing some discourse. And then yes, and there were a lot of people doing discourse about RADZE coming back. Love that. She's coming back as a friend. That is great.

This was a, and it's so funny, because I remember we were a bravo con and Jeff Lewis is like, RADZE is definitely coming back. You wouldn't come here. She's here. She's here.

And it was not the plan at that point. It really wasn't.

“But I think I took her out for coffee in, you know, was it in December or January?”

And proposed that she be a friend. She's like, she was very RADZE about it. She was very analytical. She's gotten to be pals with Erin and Abe. So she, like, they actually are legitimate friends and she was, she had all kinds of questions

about what does that mean and all this and she thought about it. And after that coffee, I honestly thought it was a 50/50 chance that she was going to do it. I didn't, I didn't, I go do your research, your research, everything. So I didn't know. And I was so glad that the research is there to do.

Well, talking to producers, talking to people at Bravo, you know, really just figuring out. It's been a while. And I think she wants to be careful. It's such a good fair.

She's like a fairy godmother. Yeah. It'll be good. And I, you know, Daisy's been Martha Stewart's makeup artist for many years and Martha loves

And so I'm hoping we see a little Martha. And it's a, it's, I'm really excited. And on that note, about having the right cast, two nights ago, I rewatched the premiere

“of Atlanta, you guys, I think that, I think people are kind of, I think people's expectations”

are not at fever pitch, which I'm kind of glad about because this is the cast we have been waiting for. Came a shell. Now are you familiar with came a shell? Yes.

Oh, you are too, Jordan. I loved her on. I was watching love and death. I love and him. I love and him.

She was on. She's so good. I'm so excited.

I have never seen a one frame of love and hip hop.

Now, once we started filming and I was reading hot sheets from Atlanta, I DMed came a shell to say you're so great. I'm so glad you're on the team. What did I find? But a DM from came a shell from like 20, 23 or something being like, I need a peach.

This is the show that I belong on. Somehow I had missed this. She, oh my god. I know, she's a superstar. And in the interview chair, are you kidding me?

And then, do you know, Pinky? Yes. The founder of slutty vegan? Yes. Had you heard of slutty vegan?

Yes. Okay, so I'm so. Jordan's a vegan. Yes. But I know her that well as like, you know, just a person.

So they're pals and then like, phadras known Pinky for 10 plus years from around Atlanta, Pinky and Shimea are pals, Porsche and Kay Michelle are pals, Kay Michelle and Pinky go way back like it's a real group. But when I tell you, I was cackling at the premiere. Now I had seen it and we had a little, you know, I watched the cuts and we give notes

and I, there was work to be done. But I was like, wow, this is like super promising. But boy, it's. So I'm five episodes into Atlanta of cuts and it is a delight.

It's really just, and Atlanta always made me smile and Atlanta is making me smile.

And we get it. It's soon. It's like a prologue. We have it in our box yet. Jordan.

No, I don't think you have it. But what you might have in your box because watch what happens live got it. You guys? Yes. Yeah, you're going to die.

Yeah, you have Rhode Island. Oh, you do? I haven't watched you. Okay. I got to watch it.

And Atlanta premier Sunday April 5th. Okay. So watch Rhode Island over the weekend and report back because it is now the only issue that people are going to have with Rhode Island is that, I mean, Calcy and Rosie look a lot alike and Liz and Dolores and at least she'll look alike.

And so there are some clones going on like Meredith and Lisa were to all of us at the beginning of Salt Lake. But you will be able to parse it out and it's so funny and the drama is real. So that's really good. And then tomorrow night we've got the premiere of Ladies of London.

Now I watched the first two episodes of that last night at Watch what happens live

like between shows, it's really good too.

“It's, see everyone says I over hype everything whenever so that's why I'm trying not to.”

But I just, I'm excited because I love these shows. And by the way, I have nothing to do with Ladies of London. And then we've got Southern hospitality. I think. Oh, my God.

I think that comes on ten and embarrassment of riches. And embarrassment of such bravo, not a time, what we do I know. Oh, my God. And the Italy trip on Beverly Hill. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Episode 15 and 16. Wow. I can't wait. You guys are not ready.

You're not ready. Um, anyway, that's my rant about bravo. Thursday, March 5th, 20, 26. Good morning, John. Hi, good morning.

Happy Thursday. Happy Thursday.

“Did you see puns the monkey learn how to wave goodbye?”

No, I did. So cute. Look at him.

Oh, that's cute. Oh, my God.

Now that we mentioned it to you, you know who he is.

Oh, he's coming up on my feet all the time. And do you sit and watch and really go in here? Yeah, a little bit. I mean, he was abandoned by his mommy. I know.

He had no one but this little stuff monkey. I know. And then the other ones were beating him. I know. And now he can wave goodbye.

I know. So cute. Where's his mommy? I don't know. She's a bitch.

I hope she's rotting. But that book, are you my man? I just have nightmares about that.

“I remember my mom reading it to me and being like,”

imagine having a baby monkey and not wanting it. Ah, terrible.

Imagine being a monkey who is parasolten's pet.

That would be nice. Imagine dropping Lucy off at school today. And one of the moms who I love was like, hey, what are you doing for Lucy's birthday because there are a couple other kids who have birthdays around that time.

And we're trying to like figure out. So I go, I don't know. Her birthday is April 29th. I mean, I just got through a band. It's in two months.

I don't know what we're doing for spring break, which is in one month by the way. And I woke up this morning like, I don't know what I'm doing. What are you going to do? I don't know what is it like a Disney world

and it's not a Disney world. I just go to the beach for a week. No, it's not going to be that there's a conversation in my mind about maybe going to Aspen and teaching them how to ski a little bit because, but it's the very end of the ski season.

And it's been a mid-Lingseek ski season there. So I'm not sure we've got all there. It's the right time. And then secondly, so I don't know.

“And I said to the woman, I got, look, I don't know.”

And also, we've never done a birthday party

where we've invited everybody in the class. So now what I felt like is I'm now on the hook to invite everybody in the class. So I'm a little, and I go, well, I don't know. And I said, I've asked her what she wants to do.

And she just keeps saying, Lali Pops, 'cause she loves Lali Pops. She only beans mom. So like, what's the Lali Pops party? So then the Lali goes, oh, you could have a candy lamp theme.

I go, yeah, and where should I do that? She goes, you're a part, man. I go, excuse me. How many kids are in this class? I'm not having 16 kids over for a candy lamp party.

Why don't you do it at a cat cafe? Well, no, are there cat cafes in New York City? I don't know, but that's a genius idea. Yes. Jordan, please come back to your cave and Google.

You kind of, like, I think there are also animal rescue places where you can, like, go and, like, just play with the cat. You and get rabies. All the kids go home with rabies. Everybody gets rabies.

(laughs) It's a rabies party. Find out if you're allergic to cats. Liz sees fourth birthday party and get measles every other thing. So you can get a whole suite of stuff.

Yes, there are quite a few cat girls. I do, they do birthday parties.

“Well, that's what Darren's gonna for the right time.”

There are a couple. There's Meow parlor. Oh, also lesbian bar. I was thinking also Dylan's candy bar with cat as a birthday party, but then the lady said, oh, I think that closed years ago.

Like, oh, I'm from the 90s. So what do I know? If you do it at a cat cafe, I am going. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Well, that not makes me wanna. I'll do the entertainer. You know, oh my god. There are still a Dylan's candy bar, by the way.

Oh, really? There's candy bar in LA too, I don't think they're out of business. What part of town is it, Darius? Right of yards. Oh.

All right. Not terrible. We could go to Hudson Yards, West Side, not having to cross town. So we've got some audio. We're gonna get into some listener mail in a minute, and then young Jordan, whose father

is an audiologist, is he still practicing? No, he's retired, but he does still have his tools if you ever wanted him to check out your ear canal. Maybe we can do it. Does he host birthday parties?

Come get your ears? You know, he would. He has a video. Oh, to scope. I'd make him look at my ears all the time.

Wow. Let's get into some listener mail, John. Okay. Rose from Illinois, I enjoy hearing all your personal stories. Anything about John Mayer lately, I was listening to his channel, new music Friday,

Tuesday. He said he just got back from overseas, would you do find a friend on John Mayer and Anderson Cooper? Anderson is usually home. Okay.

Let's see.

And John Mayer, well, it's early in my life, but we're having dinner Saturday night.

And Mayer is home, okay? Is that update? We don't dox anyone here. No. Andryga Harris, Andy all caps you are wrong for having Garcel at your walk of fame moment.

Why? There was a hundred different women you could have chose for on like Kyle. Come on. L-O-L. What you said to Rina last night was epic, Rina's everything as are you and John, and Jordan

PS. Your laugh is epic. Well, by the way, how dare you? I love Garcel. I was chatted with Garcel at the Hollywood Mokka fame ceremony.

Garcel is a queen, like what? That is so weird.

And by the way, Kyle was filming Halloween or something like that, so she was not into

it. You're in Beverly Hills. No, but it would have been Kyle, is the point because she was on the show the longest.

“And so, yes, but that's, I think you're saying wrong.”

I think he was perfectly. Perfectly cast. Stacy and Toronto, all caps, Andy, please shave, love you. You know what? Stacy, I trimmed it and I think you'll find it looks much better.

Trimmed what? My beard. I'm looking at it now. Looks a little long. Trimmed it, again, this smart.

It was longer than that. Yeah.

Look, I think it looks great.

Yeah, me too. Amy, it's so nice that Stray Dave wants to visit your parents while he's in St. Louis. However, the main reason he's going is to visit his daughter at college. Just saying an extra day and wanting to spend time with him Friday and Saturday night, might infringe on his alone time with his daughter.

All to say it's great, you'll both be there at the same time and you'll get to spend time with him.

“But it might have worked out the best, you can't stay the extra night.”

Who is that? Amy? To Amy? Just, just, butt out. I mean, Stray Dave and I know what's up.

Um, Amber Nichols says the yellow in your hair might be from heat, which is something that could cause that. Oh, we talked about figure this out. Because I was using shimmer lights, shampoo, and it was really making my gray pop. And now it's just making it kind of yellow.

I don't understand. Well, Amber also said she's a hairdresser, and it might be your hard water, so you should consider a shower head filter attachment clarifying your hair also helps. She recommends the purple clarifying shampoo from Beyoncé's hair care line. Oh, okay, Nick from the UK, back to his percential headquarters from the inbezzling via

the skull effing to the back in your cave. I can't. It was the funniest one yet. It definitely took my mind off the bring slash take thing, as that should freak me out.

Did John bring his coffee from the cafeteria, but then take it to work, sleepless nights over that one. John brought his dog Pete to work yesterday, and I'm going to take my dog to her home. Yes.

Okay. I think I'm also going to bring my dog home. Okay. I don't know. I can kind of see both.

Yeah. Lucy Negell, who is the person who complained about Jordan's laugh, just to clarify I like Jordan's laugh just not after every comment, sometimes it's constant and I am arranging liberal, definitely not maga from a liberal, blue region of Ohio. Well, you know, convert some, some, convert some people in Ohio to your side, and also

“are they still eating the cats, speaking of cats in Ohio, remember that was a big problem.”

And I would not recommend using snow for cleaning your rugs or trusting that it's clean at all. I found this out back in the late 1900s at college when we collected a bunch of snow to put in our bong, it looked for steam and it's just a middle of nowhere in New York state. And then it melted and it was not pristine at all.

We'll throw that was the bong, not the snow dirty. Your bong sturdy bit. I remember that bong, I used to drive around with like a three foot bong in my car in LA and that, that water was nasty. The snow on my terrace was pristine.

Maybe from the top. Well, there's no dogs pissin' and poop. Yes, it's at the top. It's on touch, snow. But it is falling from a polluted sky.

Is the sky polluted? Yes. Of course. Hello. All right.

It's all for this week's edition of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. To hear every minute of my geeky with John plus interviews news and more, you can listen to my Series XM channel Radio Andy anytime on the Series XM app. We'll see you right back here with more Daddy Diaries next week.