Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams

Woo! I did an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo! I'll eat you two or something. The bad friends. Somebody's back from out of town. He's tired. He's sad. He's down. He's drinking coffee. Coffee? Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye. Great. Thanks for coming out to the Lincoln...

That show was great. What? Exactly. Oh, thank you for coming out. Oh, thank you for coming out. Oh, great. Oh, Sacramento. Lincoln, California. What? What a good show. Exactly. I didn't know what you were saying. You were like, thanks for thanking the Lincoln...

Lincoln? Well, 'cause I was trying to think it was the stack or Lincoln. It was... They said it was something else, didn't they? Then they said it was Lincoln? Lincoln. Oh, Lincoln. Yeah, yeah. Lincoln logs. Yeah. So, um, thank you. Thank you for coming out with a great show.

You were on fire that night. What do you mean? You killed it. And um... Okay. What do you mean? He just shrugged me off. No, I didn't. You did! No, because... Check the tape! I'll tell you why.

Why? Because I... Because I know... If I said what I was going to say that was going to start a fight, so I didn't say what I was going to say. Say what you're going to say. I didn't think I had a great set.

“And now here we go. That's annoying. So, that's why I edited it out.”

Okay, well, let's go to something better.

Fancy was wasted. You're a wasted. I've never seen you that time.

I've never seen you drunk at all ever. Hammered. Yeah. You were hammering. One drink you're alive. No, no, no, no. I... I poured you whiskey. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby poured you a full glass. But I have to say, on stage though, you had the two biggest laughs on of even both of us. See? Right. See was... That's a...

Oh, Ron. Perfect. The timing of it. It was so good. So good. What was the second punchline? It was a big one. Yeah, you got one more big pop. You got two people. He was based on somebody that was on stage. He was a guy. Personally, personally. Oh, yeah. Personally, personally, personally.

I'm one word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I looked at you as if to say, you know. Regretions. It's something. You hit the ball. Sometimes he really hits it. Really huge rippling loud. And because of that, we got a little gift for you here. This says, hey, bad friends, I found this fancy B special while thrifting and just had to send it along. Thanks for the making all the best podcasts on the internet.

Your number 69 fan, Mike. Shout out to Mike. You, of course, gave fancy a shirt. I'm sure he owns it. Oh, that was an Israeli flag. It is. Wow. But net net, yeah, I hope. Do you own this shirt? I do not. No. That does not look good.

Do you think that looks good? That does not look good. It's also double Excel, which looks... It looks... Is that a decision well? I like so. That's a decision well. What? From a thrift store. Oh, that's an antique. I'm like, what a thrift.

This is a magic on antique's roadshow. Somebody's like, I found this in an attic. It's a residual shirt.

Yeah. And they're like, these things are amazing. They're very valuable.

You mean a hundred years from now? Oh, yeah. Almost nobody will. No, no more. Only one guy from Spain. He was a man in Clientel. Dizzy Wild was founded in Barcelona in 1984.

By Swiss businessman Thomas Meyer, the brand originated with the aim of creating a different meaning. Dizzy Wild, affordable fashion style that stood out characterised by vibrant colours, patchwork and bold, Mediterranean inspired design. It was founded on the concept of upcycling,

starting with a jacket made from reassembled patches of used denim. So it's old shit that they threw together and then sold to you at a premium. Yeah. I mean brilliant. Conceptually, it's cool.

“I think they're using the wrong patterns.”

The execution is bad. I think the idea is good. It is very. Yeah, yeah. But they like, I can take this right. And then this and put it into a shirt.

But necessarily it doesn't look good. Doesn't look good like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to find the right combination, I think. You haven't found your groove. Yeah.

The emperor has yet to find his new groove. I'll keep trying.

But it was incredible time in Sacramento.

And then you immediately come home and you jumped on a flight to go across the country once again. You, you got to be. I'm exhausted. You're a really airhard dog. You're flying all over the place. Well, also it's like, um, so we finished the show Saturday and then I can fly back that night.

And then I shoved the airport pretty early and then five hour to lay five hour. Yeah, I'm going home. The DSA. Yes, I'm sitting there at the airport. Had had not slept.

Went to Philly. Then shoot. Are they still on strike? Where's it bad on the way back? It's bad.

Really? What's bad? It's really hard still from five hours. It's really bad.

“Why don't care about Houston, but yeah, but out here.”

I told Honey to buy me five thousand smart waters, which is we're doing. Five thousand. Yeah. Why do you, you like smart water? No, no, no, not that I like it.

It's just that, um, I have this fear that the world is ending. Right. So I'm going to get seeds. I'm going to do whole thing. You're going to get seeds.

Yeah. What kind of seeds? Sunflower. Barbecue ranch. So you need eat?

No. Don't plant. Don't follow me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can chew on those for days.

Yeah, yeah.

“I'm going to get that, you know what I mean?”

Chili lime. The Hispanic one. If you plant those, maybe a chili land. Sunflower seed. Just a Mexican guy grows in your backyard.

Yeah. What I'm going to do is I'm going to convert my backyard. Because I have the, um, that, um, not asked for, but the fake grass. What do you call that? Fake grass.

Is that what I call it? I think so. I mean, what do they call it? I mean, turf. Yeah.

I have turf. I'm going to take that out. Put real American soil on there. I'm going to get American seeds. You know what I mean?

I'm going to put American soil on there, man. I'm going to get American seeds. You know what I mean? I'm at Goldhamis. [LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER] I'm going to harm this too. Okay. You know what I mean? It's American shit.

Tomatoes. That's a netty of the hook. Yeah, that's not it. No, it's not. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I'm not doing fucking go-yo.

It's go-yo. It's go-yo, I think. What is go-yo? Okay. It just sounds like a Greek thing.

I don't know. Is it Hispanic? Yeah. I'm not only American... You know what I mean?

Vegetables and... Hotdogs. Cheese. You can't grow hotdogs. Pratch-holes.

“No, no, I'm throwing vegetables and fruit.”

Well, you don't grow hummus either. You don't grow hummus? It's a bean. It's a chickpeas. It's a chickpeas.

You grow it. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No chickpeas in our house. No.

Well, no. I mean, I'll eat it like I'm with, you know. No, it's American. We're not doing that. No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying.

All right. But look, chickpeas are very easy to grow. A bunch of intense and drought tolerant. Like humans that thrive in warm weather, maturing in 90 days. Oh, I'll get chickpeas.

All right. I'll do chickpeas. Well, be hummus boys.

Yeah, we'll be hummus boys.

But I just think that I have this fear that some things about the happen. So I'm going to y2k this. So you think the global... That's the one that's right. Yes.

Y2k? Yeah. You know what happened there? Nothing. Yeah.

I know. So it's going to be the same result. It doesn't matter, though, because it could happen. The global food source will be depleted in your opinion. In the next couple of years, we're about to run out.

Something like that. That's right. Hermuse is closed. We don't know when that's going to open up. So it's like...

Well, just make a crook at them. Crook at their hermuse, if we can't. Yeah. Stop straightening that thing out. Yeah.

You know what? I should have done. What do I should have done for? I should have done that. I'm so tired.

You know, 200 years ago, they should just widen that thing. But they have no foresight. Yeah. I mean, but it, you, we could make a wider. What?

The straight? Yeah. We have wider. Be good. Be good.

Yeah. You should have been a civil engineer. I know. I watched "Pleurbus" again last night. And that is literally what we're kind of what we're talking about.

Yeah, yeah. Did you finish it? Gosh, it's pretty good. I got one left, I think. It's a really good show.

But we got to watch it in chunks because it's anxiety-inducing. So I can't get through the whole thing at once. You have no anxiety? Huh? You have no anxiety.

I have all of it. About the world. Oh, oh, about the world? Yeah. No, I'm comfortable.

I'm comfortably numb. Oh, you're numb. Like the song. Ah, I'm happy. Come come to believe.

Come to believe. No. Good. It's a good song. Yeah, you nailed it.

Yeah. The doomsday clock January 27, 26, as of this year, was set at 85 seconds to midnight. Closes the clock has ever been to midnight in its history. Wow. Well, speed it up.

Push the second so far. Let's have fun. Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety. I feel in the world.

“I think maybe I'm just like, you know, a sensitive guy.”

And I just can feel things. But like, you know, when you walk into a cobbershop, and you look at somebody, right, what's wrong? I'm a sensitive guy. I can feel things.

You're an empath. Is that what you think you're getting or which? You are dating. Yeah, so it robs off on me. I know.

I can't see out of my right eye. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She told me the other night that she can see the future and stuff like that. What did she see?

She goes, she stopped doing it because it's like too much. She gets tired. That's a reason. I mean, she got taught it. You know what I mean?

That's also not just looking to the future. Like like looking to people and communicate with like spirits and stuff, right? And she's like, it's. I could run a three minute mile, but I just don't want to do it. Yeah, yeah.

Nobody. I just don't feel like doing it. But I can. That's pretty much it. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

You can't do it, but you just won't. No, you literally can't. You can, though. Physical limit. Can you?

A three minute mile. Nobody can. Okay. No one can write. I do it three minute mile.

Not you or me. I know, but there are people out in the world that can. Yeah, maybe like. My phone go. Yeah, yeah.

My phone go. He can do it. Yeah, yeah. The group that I'm dating is the my phone go. My phone go.

Which is. No human has ever run a three minute mile. Okay. Wait a minute. She said she could look into the future.

I need to hear the rest. Not the future. It's more like she can. See things communicate with spirits and see things in the past. And um.

That's the opposite. She's going the wrong way. Oh, yeah. She's, she's in, wait, dude. She's in that other universe communicating and she's going backward.

She took.

“I don't know why you guys are laughing at this.”

You know, I mean, religion.

It's, it's absolutely mind boggling. Dude. Fuck you. It's absolutely mind boggling. It's going to be the up that you would take.

One's religion and mock it. Which is in magic practitioners often use divineation such as terror, runes or scrying. Discrying all the time. Just scrying. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. One time her dog actually started scrying it. Do I believe? They cry different.

They cry. Oh, the sky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They float when they cry. So, you know, to we live in a country where we have freedom of religion. That's right.

Baby best country in the world. And for you to mock one's religion is to me absurd and offending. Time out. It offends me. You're allowed to have the freedom to religion to any religion.

Yeah.

I have the freedom of speech to mock your religion.

Which religions is this? Yeah. Which are rich, which craft? Which craft is a religion? It is a religion.

But I have the freedom of freedom. Which religion is it not? Yeah. It is. But we can mock it.

That's the whole point of freedom of speech. Whicken's. Yeah. Yeah. But you know.

What you're saying is contradictory in of itself. If it's protected religion, then so is speech. So we can make fun of it. That's the point. But it's kind of my religion.

It's not yours. I know. I know it's not. But I want to defend the right. Defend your life.

That people have the right to have their own religion. And people have the right and I'll defend it. And you're laughing. No. No.

No.

We're laughing because it's real.

That's the god she believes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And tell me.

I've seen that guy on the brave before. Yeah. Now tell me. Carlos, you were at the drawing room at 1/3 in the morning. And you saw that.

Yeah. In Los Felines at the drawing room at 1/30 right Macone. Yeah. At the end of the fucking bar. You've seen her or whatever that is.

I'm going to get a drink. You might be a drink. I really buy that girl a drink. I walk here from Echo Park. Right.

What else does she tell you about the future? Does she tell us what's coming? Has she given you any insight?

“Well, you remember I told you that I found your name in my freezer, right?”

She was putting it in there. No, that's not it. Did I tell you that? You told me she made you put it in there to cool me off. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It didn't work. No. Your hot. The freezer spell involving your name is typically

is a witchcraft to blind stop or banish a person from causing trouble. Exactly. That's what I was doing. Freezing their negative actions are cold. I was banishing you, dude.

Didn't work. I know. I realize that. I realize that you're unbanishable. I realize that, you know, man, you can't be behind it.

You can't find it. Like in lower the ring. Is that that ring? No. Nothing on you.

I don't know what race you are in that world. But you cannot be bound to that ring. Unbound. Yeah, so that didn't work. You can be stopped.

You could. It would take like, you know, a Russian army. I think to stop you. Don't tempt those guys. Yeah.

So witchcraft to bind stop or banish. You have banish. Two, three of those. You can't do that. And you know, I try to freeze your negativity.

And it didn't work. Also it was in there for like months. It was between, um, you know, put your box, put your box meet and a frozen pizza. Didn't work.

Yeah, I put it between like, you know what I mean? And then like one day we're like, well, you need a pork chop, and we lifted it, right? And there was like, yeah. You don't fucking make some pictures of my face.

No, just get your name. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I ripped it up. I got you ripped it up.

Yeah, I get why did you get that banished? Well, that's right. Back pain. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you got black. Back, maybe that. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Oh, buying this motherfucker. - Oh, my bound. - Yeah, but you know who is a huge soccer fan, I just had no idea, it's Gillis. - Oh, is he? - Uh-huh. - Love soccer.

- We were in the van, we had lunch and I was watching the Arsenal Champions in the game on my phone. He was like, "What do you watch?" I got Arsenal playing, and he goes, "Fuck Arsenal." I go, "Fuck you."

Of course I'll say that 'cause I defend myself. - That's your argument. - Yeah, that's your argument. - Yeah. - Yeah, you know me. - Who does he follow?

- Can I just finish my conversation now? - I go, "What'd you say to me, man?"

“He said, "You said that this Rubin was the best thing”

"on the out, but man you wasn't." 'Cause he was like, "You gotta try the Rubin, it was okay." Anyway, he's a man you, he's a man. He's a man trust you, you're not a fan. - Thank you.

- And then I asked him like specific questions, he knew everything, I was mind boggled. - He's a big sports fan. - No, but he was like, "I've been following him "so that was a kid, or whatever."

I even historically I was asking him questions, and Gillis is a man, you've been a fan, so give me another comic that's a man you've had, you know?

they have, they have, - He's black. - Tad it on them. - Oh, Ian Edwards. - Yep. - Exactly.

- He has a tattoo, doesn't he have a tattoo? - Yeah. - Could you see it anyway? (laughing) - No, I know, I could. - It was about to come out, dude, you're so fast today.

- There's only one left. - I'm so tired, you can't be quick today. - Okay. - Yeah, it's just, you know? - Yeah, it's too, you know.

You talk so fast sometime, I'm not there. - He's just in the laser gun. (laughing) - It's like those Greenland sharks. You know, they're about to start fuckers,

but we talked about that. - Greenland sharks, yeah, they lived over 400 years old, some of them, 500 years old. - Really? The Greenland shark, the longest lived vertebrae on earth,

studies estimated to live 400 fucking years, they're found in the cold deepest part of the Arctic and North Atlantic, these sharks, these my ex up there, these sharks, grow at a glacial pace for only one centimeter per year

reaching maturity around 150 years old. So they grow up at 150. That's when they're like adult. - What happened historically 400 years ago? Just Google that.

“- What do you mean, like, what happened right from 10 to 10?”

- From 10 to 10, 400 years ago. - So the Greenland shark was born. - Was born. - Do you Google that? - Yeah, Google that.

- What happened today, 400 years ago? - Yeah, it happened to the 400 years ago, or this month. - No, just say today, 14, 400, and McCone get hit by a bus. - August, what is this for run 400 years ago?

The first recorded Africans arrived in the English colony

of Virginia at point comfort year up row. - Right row. - I'm marking a pivotal tragic start to slavery in North America, roughly 20 enslaved people were traded for supplies. - Yeah.

- Okay, okay Greenland shark, not a good part. - I got it, not a good part. - Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. - People are on the, you know what I mean, on the almost off. - And it'll baby's born.

- Wow, not good. - It's not good. - Not good. - I'm just saying though that they've been around. - I mean, imagine, there is something alive today

that witness, that not witness. He wasn't on land going, oh my God, this is untrossed. (laughing) He wasn't lying, I got to check this out as a baby,

but he was still a lot deep in the ocean born when the ship was going on. (laughing) - What are you guys doing? - What are you guys doing, man?

- You guys trading and buying humans? I'm gonna go back to the depths of the ocean. That's crazy. Imagine interviewing one right now on his deathbed and he's like, do you guys still buy humans?

(laughing) - Yeah, that's what they look like. - Yeah, that's what they look like. - They look, look forward to it. - They look forward to it.

- Yeah, 400 years. - That's crazy. - Beautiful though. - It's beautiful. - What's the longest species

“that limits the longest age length of a species on earth?”

What species? - That's the longest. - That one, yeah, that's it. - That was living vertebrae. - vertebrae, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Longest. - I think there are plants or trees that are longer, do you think? - Yeah, trees lived.

Yeah, the longest lived individual in vertebrae is the ocean quahag, a clam that can live over 500 years. - No, wow. - Wow.

- Oh, or the immortal jellyfish. They put it right there on the game. - So what happened five years, 100 years ago? Go ahead. (laughing)

- 500 years ago. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a clam. - What did he say? What did we see? I'm a clam, we're a clams, we're clams.

- What did we see? - What did we see? - What did we see? - So tell us what the world was like. - Yeah, yeah.

- Well, it was shaped by the height of the Protestant Reformation, the expansion of Spanish Empire. - Boo, boo. - And the flowering of the Italian Renaissance. - Yay, this painting is beautiful.

(laughing)

“- A clam today was a like, wow, look at the artistry.”

- Well, look at that. For Magellan, so a clam saw Magellan. - Whoa, on the beach saw Magellan. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- Why does he do it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or me, I'm one of Columbus guy. - No. (laughing)

- Right? - Yeah, I mean. - Yeah, you're happy about Magellan? - Oh, I like the clam best. - That was their soccer team's back then.

- Yeah, yeah. - You had died here at Columbus, Phantom War, Magellan guy. The Incas civilization at its peak in South America, stretching for modern day, Columbia, Chile, just before the Spanish conquest in 1533,

another bad thing you've done.

So basically what we're finding out

through the history of the birds and birds and birds. - Yeah, it is. - If you guys are up in a shot, pieces of shit. - Well, yeah, the Philippines, you guys, oh my God. - Oh my God, what did you do?

- What did you do? - Lopu. - Lopu, you Lopu Lopu did. - Okay, so zoom in real fast. - Yeah, what does it?

- A mortal jellyfish, a glass sponge lives up to 15,000 years. - Whoa, 15,000 years. (laughing) - What happened? - 15,000 years ago.

(laughing) - I'm a glass, we're gonna last bunches. (laughing) - We're gonna last bunches. - Around 15,000 years.

- Be a glass, be a glass sponge, dude. - We're all those transitioning out of the last IC. - Oh my God. - Warming up, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Is it getting warmer? (laughing) I can feel my toes. - I can feel my toes finally, dude. - Oh, dude.

- Humans begin transitioning from purely nomadic foraging to living in semi-permanent settlements. - Yeah. - Well, the R? - And the suburbs were born, not kidding.

The use of clay-phartistic expression began beads, pendants, rather than utility, children and adults were shaping clay, reflecting and forgotten chapter and social development. - Wow.

- It is cool to be the first person.

- What do you call that?

(laughing) - We witnessed. - Yeah, we saw a hammer. - We saw hammer, dude. - And getting invented.

- That's the hammer in the morning.

“- And then saying, there are glass jelly.”

What are they called? - Glass sponge. - Glass sponges that were around what a fucking hammer wasn't better. - Yeah, yeah.

- The same guy. - What do you mean? - Glass sponge, same guy today. - Same guy today. - Same dude.

- Yeah, yeah. - Same guy. - Same dude is still around. - Crazy. Is it boring?

- I bet he's having a good time. - No, all he's doing is this. - Depends on who's visiting him. - Every done this? How long can you do this?

- 15,000 years. (laughing) - That's insane. But there's no thought. There's no. The funny thing, literally Google Glass sponges daily life.

Is if they have like a nut, you know, nine to five. (laughing) - Y'all brought it to life. - Yeah, yeah. - Give me daily life.

- Bobby, Bobby, he's got the glass sponges that get ready with me, TikTok. (laughing) - You gotta run it to me to float in the ocean again. - I have the answer.

- Sitting in one place, using their silica glass specules, whoops, sorry, to filter vast amounts of water for bacteria and plankton. So they're filtering their living fossils that can live forever and ever and ever.

- Whoa, wow. You're at the glass sponge, I'd love to take a look. - You know, this is the thing about this show. Is it a poop fart show? Yeah, but do you learn?

- Sure do. - Sure do. (upbeat music) - Acorns. - Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow.

Acorns is easy. You can sign up in a minutes and start automatically investing your spare money. Even if all you've got is spare change. - Well, here's the deal.

All of us are trying to prepare for the future. You want to save a little bit. Whether it's, you know, for school, for a car,

for family, for something that you've always wanted.

Or just for life and acorn grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down, acorn supports your big and small goals across every life stage.

Acorns is all in one. No more finance apps, cluttering up your phone. With acorns, you can invest, save and give your money a chance to grow in one trusted place. - And the acorns potential screen shows you the power

of compounding and how your money could grow over time. Plus, you can quickly just how much you're investing every day, every week, or month to make sure you're building towards your goals. You should be doing this.

Why not try it out with acorn? Sign up now, and acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers have already saved and invested over $27 billion

with acorns. - Hey, acorns.com/badfront or download the acorns app to get started. Paid down client endorsement, compensation provides, instead of depositing promote acorns tier 2

compensation provided, potential subject to various factors, such as customers, accounts, age, and investment settings. Does not include acorns, fees, results do not predict or represent the performance of any acorns portfolio.

Investments, results will vary.

Investing involves risk, acorn to buyers LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor, a view important disclosures at acorns.com/badfronts. - Shopify, yay guys, even with an online business, like what we do here at bad friends,

that you gotta use Shopify, get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use template Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. - Here's the best part.

You can accelerate your efficiency, whether you're just uploading new products or you're trying to improve existing ones like we do. We try to update through time with different shirts that we're selling, you guys are merged

that you guys are looking to buy. Shopify's packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, they page headlines, and they even enhance your product photography, so we can take beautiful photos,

show you guys what we're trying to give you as bad friends list.

“- And some people ask you, why haven't you heard about my brand?”

Shopify helps you find customers with easy to run email and social media campaign. They've got award winning 24/7 customer support, and also we talk about it all the time. - Purple button, we'll shop pay button, baby.

That button is used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting check out on the planet and helps you boost conversions, meaning less cards are gonna go abandoned

and way more sales for you. - It's time to turn those, what ifs in the kitchen with Shopify today? - It's time for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/badfriends.

That is Shopify.com/badfriends. - Shopify.com/badfriends. - Bad friends. - Suffering from seasonal irritants as the pollen count rises, support your immune system

with quick silver scientific cyst aid, a targeted blend of nutrients and botanicals designed to help maintain healthy, histamine balance and everyday comfort. Quick silver scientific cyst aid works

with your body's natural response to seasonal environmental challenges. So you can feel your best. All sees them long. Get 10% off and free shipping at tryqs.com/podcast.

Again, that's tryqs.com/podcast for 10% off and free shipping. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose,

treat, cure, or prevent any disease. - Maybe this thing. - No, okay, which is film, or referer. - Well, my sponges are plastic. - Is this fancy, is he do this?

- It's a spungier.

“- That is, that's why it's previous job.”

- Glass sponges are classified in the glass hex up the net. - They're actually beautiful. - Dude. - They exist in all over the area.

- Is he a deer? - They're Asian and white. (laughing) - The only two colors back to that. - That's us.

- We started it at all. - We're sponges. - Dude, we started it at all, Asians and white. - And you know why they're so pretty? - Yeah.

- You know why? - Yeah, why? - 'Cause they're untouched. - They're untouched.

- Strange life, survival in the dark depths. - Oh, look at that. - They beautiful geometric shapes, they get to form into the silica structures, they're so well formed that they can transmit light,

similar to fiber optics. Amazing. - Yeah, but here's my argument against this. - Yeah, let's find something negative. - I'll say, because the difference between that

and the alvec, the Greenland shark, is there's no consciousness. It doesn't have a brain, it's for sex. - It's for sex. - As far as you know.

- It doesn't like, you know what I mean?

“It doesn't have thoughts like, you know what I mean?”

Why did that leave? (laughing) - Where did all my friends go? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, or you know what I mean? - God, gas prices are so high.

I mean, they don't have thoughts. - And he's like, well, they are doing what we saw what they're doing to you, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no, right, sir.

- They're not on Twitter, I guess. - Yeah, Greenland shark, you know what I mean? I don't know what they're thinking about. Probably food first. - Food for 400, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- It's the second Coachella, tickets.

- No, I'm kidding, that's-- - You think they got bad at it, man, a lot. - The Greenland shark's got backstage passes. - Do you think so? - It's like a one Greenland shark watching Harry Styles. (laughing)

- You just popping, no, so, I mean, Greenland shark has a brain and is right hunting in the-- - They don't have brains, Greenland shark. - All they do is hunt all day. - And if we have brains, right?

So they have thoughts. - They don't think much about themselves. - How do you know? - It says. - They're living purely by instinct, focusing on slow motion,

scavenging, opportunistic hunting in the dark. But that every day is a new day to hunt. So it must be fascinating to them because they're approaching new shit all the time. They don't stay in the same place.

Do they stay in the same area right? - But also, far and wide. - The swimmers of their size, they have stealth mode. - stealth mode. - But also this, right?

It's like, they have to know what to eat, and what not to eat, they don't eat everything. - They don't have to know. - Garbage, it's just like, you know what I mean, a die Pepsi can aluminum can the eat, I mean.

“- That's what instinct is, you don't have to know it.”

- They literally say-- - So that's not a thought process, listen. - That's an instinct. - Despite being apex predators, their primarily scavengers or garbage disposal,

with die set includes seals, polybears, reindeer, anything, they'll eat anything. They'll eat fucking anything. - Rain deer? (laughs)

- Yeah. - Rain deer. - Where does it say rain deer? - Right there, right, I just-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, we're reindeer.

Rain deer. - Santa, softer, you know what they draw. - Oh, he crashes into the ocean, right? And then Greenland sharks are like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

- Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Every year he kills him. - Every 300 years he does this. - Right, right. - And he just eats one, huh?

- What the fuck is that? - Oh, my turn. - That lives on most Greenland sharks. They just don't care because-- - On their eyeballs, right?

They, yeah, they, I saw a documentary, where they live on the eyeballs, so they can even see. - Oh, my, Tokoyida, oh, Tokoyida. - Yeah. - On Motokoyida is a monotopic genius of core pops of soul-species being

however the specimen has been found on the skin of the great lantern shark, which has been assigned to the genius but not the species. But they live in the eyeball. That's amazing.

- Yeah.

“- That's how much Greenland sharks are doing.”

- Both eyes, so the Greenland sharks can't see. You mean 'cause they got little dudes on their eyes. - Just clean it out. - Well, they have no arms, that's the problem. - They don't have arms?

- Oh, do it, no. - What's going on down there? - Yeah. - You can't wave or anything. - Well, what if one shark--

- They can't even wave to their friends. - One shark. - What's up, dude? - I've seen you in 300 years. (laughing)

- Hey, dude, I haven't seen you in 350 years. - Man, where have you been, dude?

- Always over there, he says.

- There, they could blow bubbles. - What if they blew bubbles right on the parasites and got it out of there? - No, they can't do it. - I mean, I would rub it against like a rock or something

can you do that? - Yeah. - Just generally rub it against a rock, but I guess they don't even know how to do that. - Yeah, they're dumb, they run on into you.

- Yeah, they just don't know. - Yeah, have a brain though. - Yeah, well in the brain, Tom, to rub their eye. - No. - No, because it's like, you know,

it's so dark down there, who gives a fuck? - Hey, that's what Google said. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so dark down there, you could have whatever on your eyes.

- It doesn't matter. - I mean, you could put peanut butter on your eye, doesn't even have. (laughing) - You know, they do have peanut butter down there.

- Yeah, I know they do. - A lot. - Yeah, but you can do whatever with your eyes. You know what I mean? They can be Asian down there.

They don't. - Well, they are. - Yeah, that's not even. Asian, green, that shark. - That shark, that out, now I'll leave it in. - Yeah, it's very Asian, green, and shark.

- Wow. - I live forever. - I live forever. - Okay, let me out. - Oh, look at that, he's eating good on right there.

- Yeah, let me ask you, what's the, don't Google it yet? What's the apex predator in the ocean? - Probably. - The one that no one fucks with.

- Killer whale. - That's it, dude. - Yeah. - You're brilliant, Bill. (laughing)

- No one can bind you. - But the killer whale is not the-- - Hawking bind, or banish bind. - Can't be bound. - Can't be bound.

- Put me in a freezer. - Yeah. - Can't put me in a freezer. - But, yeah, it's the orma. - It's the orma.

- It's the orma. - The orma killer whale, dude. - It's the orma. - But not as cool as the sperm whale, which gets up to the size of like, you know,

three school buses or whatever. - Yeah, but, or have you seen an orka pop is head out and look at ya? - No.

- Yeah, I've never had it look at me.

but I'm just saying they do it. They'll just pop up, right? With their one eye and look at ya, to see if something they want to eat. - Oh, fuck. - Yeah, I mean, and then they go, nah.

- Yeah, I mean, and then they pop back down.

“- Can you imagine being eaten by one of those things?”

- Oh, oh, yeah.

- 'Cause sharks bite, but they don't always consume

these things each year whole. - Yeah. - They're not saying hello there. They're going, can I eat, should I eat you? - I'm gonna eat you.

- Yeah, yeah. - How many people get eaten by orcas every year? - Not a lot. - Let's guess, let's guess, let's guess it before. - Seven.

- You think so? - Yeah. - I'm gonna go 16. - Oh, okay, all right. - Orcas kills zero, people are here in the wild.

(laughing) - Documented cases? - Wow, they don't like us, we don't taste good. - Wait a minute, for sure, I feel like we've heard a story where someone's been eaten by,

while orcas are powerful apex predators, they do not view whom it's as prey. - We only taste good to Jeffrey Dhammer. That's the only apex predator that we taste. - We've hidden in the ocean for a lot of time.

(laughing) - Wait for you to take us. - Wow. (laughing) - There have been no confirm records of wild orcas

killing a human, not even researchers

that are in the wrong place, wrong time. How many, how many people are killed by polar bears every year? - Let's guess. - One.

- It's gotta be more than that, 'cause researchers get killed on act, I'm saying five. Between 1870 and 2014, there were 73 confirmed polar bear attacks resulting in 20 human deaths.

- In all that time. - Yeah, it's not a lot. - Yeah, it's not a lot. - It's not a lot. - It's not a lot.

So it's probably less than one percent wise. - A lot of dogs. - How many people die by dogs every year? - Oh my God. - That one's gotta be high.

- The guess, guess, guess. - Mm, like a hundred. - No, I'll say 1200. - Holy shit, that's a lot. - Yeah.

- 30 to 50, I was just saying US. - Oh, that's US. In the world, we said. - 25,000 to 330,000 human deaths annually worldwide. - Oh, I was close.

- You're way all. We were way all. - I know. - The majority of these fatalities are caused by trends. - What does that mean?

- Oh, rabies virus, people that get-- - Ah, no, I'm not like, you know, we're talking about like Molly. - Ball to death is way less. - Yeah, yeah.

- Way less. India accounts for a significant portion of these deaths were high populations straight dogs contribute to the risk. Right, those videos you see,

there's just dogs, literally there's like every human, there's another dog next to them. - Yeah. - Dingo's, uh, help a killed people too. - They don't, it's a lie.

- Dingo's not? - No, that was like an old, you know, the Dingo ate your babies of falsity. - Okay. - The Dingo's are just like small dogs.

- Oh, the are. - Yeah, they're a little tiny. You didn't see one over over there over there? - I guess everything go. - God, I love Dingo's.

I love me, Dingo, am I? You're going back to Australia, you excited. You're gonna go see our boys. - Brad and Trump. - Yeah.

- I can't wait. - It's gonna be fun down there. - Um, okay, well that's all, I wanna, uh, uh, it will talk. - Well, no, I mean, because instead of the war,

I've been trying to like get my algorithm to change to a more animal. - I've only been watching war. - Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to do more animal. You know, around the world, so it's like, you know,

trying to change my algorithm on my TikTok 'cause it depresses me. - Well, a little bit of your TikTok right now, what's the first video that you have up there? - I don't want to.

“- All right, what's your gonna see with my algorithm?”

- Sean Penn and Zach Alphanakis. - It's Brent, free in my mind. I'm gonna be 37 this year. And I like to think about when my parents were 37. - Yeah, stuff like that.

- Yeah, sick of Greenland Shark on her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let me just, yeah, I'll open up and let me hear what this says on this thing. - Yeah, just ready.

- Yeah. - Just here and I'll see. - Oh, it's a guy jumping off of a cliff and skydiving. - Yeah, yeah. - For an L.A. trying supposedly,

we'd best sure we're not in the city of Israel. - Okay, for yourself, everything you can tell yourself. - Jesus Christ. - Whenever you hear those like TikToks, I go, and I disagree.

Every time I disagree, I've never went,

you know, that guy was right. This is the best burrito. No, I've never happened. - Well, that's like, I saw one today that was a boiled hamburgers from 1903.

And like they lit, it was like doing an advertisement for this place. And Pete, that's it, boiled hamburgers in Wisconsin. Look at the video of them boiling a hamburger. This guy can't even explain, that's not it.

I wish that was the best. The guy can't even explain. They were like, what do they taste like? Can he's like, well, good? He couldn't even tell you.

- Yeah, boiled hamburgers. - Oh my God, that sounds soggy. - So soggy. - Oh my God. - There it is, right there.

- Oh thank you. - Do that on seven celebrating down, celebrating 115 years of boiled, yeah, this is the guy. - This guy right here? - No, no, that's the guy right here.

(laughing) - He looks like a boiled. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - The fire fighters.

- Look at that. - The burgers and from there. - They pour water on him the whole time. - Oh, what you're saying is they don't boil the bun. - They boil the burger.

(laughing)

“I thought you thought, I hamburger, no stop, push for us, okay?”

- Boil the bun. - You just lied. - What? - You lied. - What are you talking about?

- I hamburger is with the bun as well.

- Yes, that's the point.

- Well, then just say patty.

- They also don't boil the cheese or the lettuce. (laughing) That's what I thought, no. He will then that's not a hamburger. - What?

- Are you the dumbest guy alive? - No, no, are you a liar? - When I just say it, it's called a boiled hamburger. - It's called. - Okay, now I'm getting the context of it.

So the meat, some, some so I'm tired. - Don't even. - Don't start to like, backtrack. - I'm not backtracking out of it. - I need to defend my fucking life here, Dad.

- Please. - All right. It's just, in my mind, it's like they boil the hamburger. - Now, in my mind, you envision a hamburger, right? - Which it just looks like they've been finished.

- They've been finished. - Let me finish. - Let me finish. - Let me finish. - And then they boil this?

- Yeah, yeah, so they put the fucking bread down.

“- That's how you thought of meat, right?”

- Then onions, cheese, you know what I mean? - Well, let's ketchup. - Nice. - More bread, right? And then they boil the whole thing.

- That's what you thought of boiling. - In my mind, I'm like, it's so soggy. - Oh, I got it. - So if they boil the meat, that doesn't sound that bad. - It looks, look at it.

That looks disgusting. - Okay. - Sloppy, it looks like, it looks like-- - I mean, it's better than boiling the whole thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Trinboil the whole thing. - So good. - Yeah. - Press play, watch him smash it in the water. - Okay.

- I mean, it's ludicrous. - Was that, is that dumb of me, really? - Yes. - No, I don't think so. - Yeah, no.

- No. - No, look. - Look at that. - Press play, smashing it in the water. That looks disgusting.

- Okay. - Oh, God, dude.

- Can you push pause for a second, please?

Can I defend this? - Yeah. - Can I still try to defend it? - Sure, wiggle your way out of this one. - Sometimes, 'cause this is 115 years

you've been doing it, right? - Mm-hmm. - Right? - Didn't I say that? - Mm-hmm.

- Okay, so sometimes this. - All right, just listen to my logic, please. - Yeah. - Before you, like, mock me and laugh. - Already laughed.

- All right, so because we do, your name gets back into the phrase. (laughing) - All right, I will try to banish you again, dude. Where's mine?

Anyway. - Expelious, Asianists. - All right, so just, just, just listen to my theory here.

“Sometimes you have to think about it in context.”

- Okay. - It's everything. - It's everything, right? So it's like, you know, people go, you know, like music from the 60s, right?

I put it in context, like this is the beginning

of, you know, me and stages of rock and roll, you know, me and, and so when you're listening to it, you listen to it with that context, right? It's not as well-produced as like a hairy style for instance, or whatever, right?

So it's like, when you go to Felipe's downtown, love, great, right, great, right? But you've put in the context that this has been around for so long and they haven't really changed their menu that month.

So you eat it with that context, like, oh my god, this is like, you know what I mean? The same as it was in the 40s, and it's cool. - Unreal and Shark might have had this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or those clams, the clams, so that's it, yeah. So what I'm saying is these boiled hamburgers is the same thing. It's like a nostalgia thing. It's a context thing.

- Oh yeah. - When they boiled bread, back then. (growling) - They didn't even eat it. (laughing)

- We'll just eat them. (laughing) All right. (laughing)

“- They made the cheeseburger, and then they boiled it.”

(laughing) - It's insane. (laughing) - I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, okay. - No, no, no, no, okay, no, no, no.

- By the way, yeah, I agree to the money goes, that's gotta be soggy, I go, yeah, I'm thinking, yeah, the meat's gotta be soggy. - No, I was, he's like, no, the whole thing is soggy. (laughing)

- And you know what, bad friends at home? - Yeah, yeah. - Somebody please make a boiled hamburger, and send us a video of you boiling an entire hamburger and send it to Carlos in the booth at your phone.

Anyway, we, you know, went to Laura's. (laughing) - Laura's. (laughing) - You said it like a Southern black man.

(laughing) We're down in a lair. - That's a lair. - You know me in a lair, I love lair. - Have you been to Laura's?

- Laura's? - Yeah. - And Laura's. - Have you been there? - Oh, I be in.

- Yeah. - So, do you know what Laura's is? - Right. - Have you had the season, season, salt, Laura's? - Laura's season, salt.

- You know that, right? - So the same year, check out this information. - Laura, right? - The same year, the developed salt, you know what I mean?

The guy that invented the salt opened a restaurant in LA called Laura, he's a lair, he's a lair. (laughing) - I could listen to you say it all day. (laughing)

- He opened up Laura's. - Also, this is day seven of me, not smoking cigarettes. - Wow, you make it. - So weak, of no smoking.

- Oh, I'm so proud of you. - So, but wait, you went to Laura's? - Right. And so, you know, Laura, it's like kind of the lair. - Yeah, yeah, went to Laura, yeah.

- Who that cow, Laura? - Yeah, anyway, with the Laura's, and she's like, she goes, there's these, you know, the kin.

- Well, they explain it then. - I've been to Laura's. - What is it then? - The tin. - When I say tin, what do you mean?

- The tin. - What does it mean? - No, no, no, no, no. - When they cart out the tin. - Yeah, yes.

- Yeah, yes, exactly. - I've been there. - So, you know what you're talking about. - I've been there, I told you four times.

- Okay, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, I've been there, and then I never

went back, I don't like it. - I like it. - You do? - It's also 60% Asians, I go there. - Well, that's why I don't go?

- Yeah. - We love it. - Yeah. - Once it once a race takes over a place, I'm out. - Okay, well, that's crazy.

- I want it diverse. - Okay. - So, anyway, we'll get a lot of ease. - Like that, I've backed, right? - Yeah, right, right.

- We'll go my way. - We'll go the way, I'll escape room. - Racial escape room. - Yeah. - I like it when there's too many Asians, because I like it more diverse, all right, let

'em out. - So when you, right, normally when you go to any restaurant, right, you know, you

“order your prime rib, right, and just a pier from the back of the kitchen, right?”

Somebody prepares it. - Somebody boils it back. - Yeah, boils it back there. - Yeah, boils it back there.

- So many boils up that prime rib.

Go ahead. - This is a wet bread, if this is a good example, what about Yorkshire pudding? That's a wet bread? - Yeah, it's not our thing. - I know, I'm just saying, so in my mind, boiled hamburger, it doesn't sound that

preposterous. - I'm going home tonight, and I'm boiling it. (laughing) - Okay, let's let it go. - All right, you're allowed to.

- So we're at Larys, and she goes, and what happens is you order your prime rib, and there's different cuts that you can get. - That's right. - There's a California cut. - Right.

- There's a regular cut. I get the Tokyo cut. - Of course. - It's small. - It's small.

- It's catering to their audience. - Yeah, yeah. - So you order your cut and else you're a side, and they bring a little tin cart. - And they bind your feet. (laughing)

- No, they don't bind it. (laughing)

- So they come with a tin cart, right?

They open it up, right? And they slice it in front of you. - Right, in front of your face. - Right, and they pour all the sides in front of you. - A lot of juices.

- A lot of juices, right? They juice the fuck out of it, right? And you get your trick pudding. - Yeah, you do. - You're right, which is a wet bread.

- Wet bread. - It's a wet bread. And then, you know, and then she goes, why do we they do it like this? I go, it's the nostalgia of it.

- Yeah. - They've been doing it like this since like whatever the 40s and stuff.

“And that's what Asian people like it because there's some elegance to it.”

It's also reminiscent of the past. It reminds you of the shining ballroom in the movie The Shining. You know what I mean? That kind of vibe, you know what I mean? - gigantic chandeliers, kind of gody, a little bit.

- But also dark and damn, it's a really cool place. - And the food's great. - It's good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, but it's the ritual of it, right?

So when you sit at boil, you thought about a lot, right? - No, I'm just saying, to me, it's like, you know, if they've been doing it, whenever there's a region of the country for 115 years that way, it was Wisconsin. (laughing)

- Can you mend this the longest, there's a longest... - Robuddle. - Yeah, like a court case, the judge would be like, "Sir, sir, sir." - Yeah.

- It's, we're throwing the case out. - I'm sorry. - No, it was a very good though. - I think that the reason why, we talked about me quitting smoking, I don't know, last time.

- Go ahead. - Let's hear it, but why I quit? - 'Cause it's gonna kill you. - That's not why. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that is why.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is why. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but... - Oh, the black, 'cause you're dead, I don't know. - Yeah, the spit. - No, no, no, no.

The reason why I quit smoking is 'cause Remi died, my dog. - Long cancer. - No, you can't do that. (laughing) - Time, time isn't just another banking app,

and the unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like my pay, giving you access up to $500 of your pay check, anytime it getting paid, up to two days early, with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do that.

- I know that. - Crazy, China's changing the way people bank. Fee, free, you heard it. - Fee, free, that's my favorite to work. - That's my favorite to work.

- Fee, free, yeah, yeah. Not like old school banks are charged you overdraft a monthly fee. That's annoying and gross, and it's hurtful, and it doesn't help anybody.

They are fee-free, and they are built for you, not the one percent.

“- We're going through a lot of stress in our life, right?”

- Yeah. - So, China helps you build credit history, stress free. - That's right. - Get paid when you say, up to $500. - That's pretty good.

- Yeah. - And you can earn up to 3% APY on saving. At seven times higher than a traditional bank. As a lot of weird stuff going on in the economy right now, people are struggling, they need help.

China is the new way to build credit history with your own money. - China is the way to build credit history with your own money, get rewarded every single day. - New annual fee is no interest and no strings attached.

And when you get qualifying direct deposits, you get 1.5% cash on eligible time card purchases. - China is not just smarter bank and it's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who have already started banking fee-free today.

- It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chim.com/badfriends. Chim.com/badfriends.

not a bank banking services.

“The secured chim visa credit card and my pay line of credit”

provided by the bank or bank N.A. or strike bank N.A. My pay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chim.com/visinfo,

advertised annual percentage yield with chim plus status only. Otherwise, 1.0% APY applies. No man balanced required. Chim card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score.

Results may vary. See chim.com for details and applicable terms. (laughing) - Go back to the college, sure. - How many are your smoking hits hit?

- Let's have a stick together and move to the top. - New story? - No, that's not what happened. - Yeah, you don't have a long camera. - Your dog has stage for a long camera.

- Okay, that'd be insane. - How many packs has you smoking a day? - Yeah, but anyway, um, - Amen! - Amen!

- That little bear. William, they go that bread. William, what's up man? - Go that go that go that go that go that bread. William, we thought we'd bring in your furniture from home.

- Make you feel comfortable. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - I like it, I sent a blue chair in case we're doing a gender review.

- Yeah, yeah. - All right. - Is that a boy in Hamburg? - Boy in Hamburg. (laughing)

- So we've got this stuff Carlos brought us this stuff Carlos, why did you bring us this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What is this for? - So you could see what it's like to be like Brad.

- Oh! (laughing) - This is what it's like for a tooth. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay, yeah.

- So the man. - So wow. - Yeah, it's tough, isn't it? - Yeah, it's tough. - I feel that's how tough it is.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can still write with this. - But you got to use the toothbrush with two hands.

- Oh, I see. - Oh, I see. - It really hurts you, bro. - That's the only way it works. - Exactly.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause how they polished the pyramids. (laughing) - Remember back in the day?

- Dwarves it. - Yeah, I wasn't there, but I'm just saying. - Dwarves didn't do that? - No, we didn't pause. - There was one dwarf that worked out on the pyramids.

- How do you, the top one, you guys, they send you up there, no? - It tells me the dwarf was in the bottom. - They were like, yeah, get the bottom. Get the bottom.

Get down there. - Yeah, it's like, you can lift them to the top and put the little, you know what I mean? - You can put them up at the top of it. - If you see a dwarf window washer,

he's not doing the top. - No, he's on the bottom. - He's on the bottom. - All you're on the bottom? - Yeah.

- I'm just saying you could be on the top.

- I've always been a power bottom, Bobby.

You know this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - On top is fun for you, is it, is it top fun? - For window washing or sex? So when we talked about it now.

- Have you ever been to Jimmy House? Wait, what? Jimmy House? - Jimmy Yow? - Jimmy Yow?

- It's for men, five, eight, and under. - 'Cause that's where I get my suit. - That's where he gets his suits. - That Jimmy Yow. - I didn't know this was a real place.

This was never discussed in the meetings. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would like to highly recommend Jimmy Yow. They would love you. - I'm gonna have to go there.

- Yeah, yeah. - I totally shit. - I go there all the time. - So like, I will walk into Jimmy Yow's and just be like, "Wow, I have a challenge for you guys."

- Yeah. - You say five foot, eight, and under. Let's hit the gun. - No, they have it all. - They do it all.

- Yeah, they do. - They have it all, then. - Yeah, they do it all the time. - They have a section called your door fast. And the back of Jimmy Yow.

We already plugged this guy so much. We're giving him good business. - I know. - I mean, now he's gonna get-- - Probably think this goes, all my money.

- Yeah, yeah. - Wait, think this goes. - You hate to think this goes. - I know, I know you do. - Arch Nemesis.

- I can't. - Well, you're not gonna go at the same time. But you guys have like, you know what I mean? A schedule? (laughing)

- Aren't you guys on an app? - Yeah, app, where does that game look? We can't be here at the same time. - There's only one section for you people, right? So that's a lot of traffic.

- Isn't there like an eye for that?

“- You have to be gonna appointment, you know?”

Like when the door's gonna come in. - Yeah. - Okay, so what's-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Go ahead.

- The door fap actually is the same as the car app. Lift. - Lift. (laughing) - Very good, it's good.

- What store has the best dwarf clothing? - Oh, the best dwarf clothing. - Like Brad's gonna go shopping today. - Aside from, gaps, kids. - Yeah.

(laughing) - Brodo's. - What call froze? - Let me tell you. - He can't get--

- Let me tell you. - Dude, that's a great clothing. - Brodo's. - Brodo's. - Yeah, a baguette.

(laughing) - Or the dryer, or whatever you want to do. - Dude, I mean, I tell you that's a good clothing business. - Brodo, you wear the best clothes or artisans. - It's at Plantaine Republic.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - You guys. (laughing) - Plantaine Republic.

- It's really fun. - Well done. - Yeah. - Well done. - Yeah.

- I will say. - All right. - Oh, of course. - Selection at Build-A-Bare. (laughing)

- I knew it was coming. - It's so great, yeah. - I could be an astronaut. - Yeah. - I could be a dancer.

- It's so fun. - I knew whatever I wanted. - And then we can put a little button in you so you have somebody's voice inside your stomach. - Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I finally have a heart beat, you know, that hearts.

“- Remember the other day you were at the store”

and a couple months ago, and I was like, "Where'd you get that jacket?"

- Yeah. (laughing) - No, don't be there. (laughing) - I did ask them that.

- Why'd you love her at that? - 'Cause they're not, they're not for you. (laughing) - I know, but that's why Bobby asks. - But you're like, I don't know, I was really,

like, I liked your fit that night, right? - So is that something like, where do you get, like, I feel like I go, where'd you get all that? - Yeah, I mean, and you were explained to me, like, you know a guy that shirt is great.

Where's that shirt from? - This shirt is from a kid's bowling team. - That's dope man. - That's dope man. - I just jumped 'em after a match.

- I know what it was. - I could take 'em. - It was the pants. - Oh, the pants.

“Remember the pants you go and you bought a bunch of those.”

- Yes. - So that's what it was. - Yes. - If you find something that's good, see, I do that anyway.

- If I find something, I like buying is a bunch of them. - Let's go. - That's what you do. I buy all the stuff. - You have to.

- If I like it, it fits, 'cause I don't like how certain jeans fit or pants, I'm just gonna buy a few of these. - 'Cause you have the opposite problem with me. You have, like, long legs, but then no ass.

- I got a nice ass. - It's no ass. - No out of your fucking ass. - You're out of your fucking ass. - You're out of your fucking ass.

- That is. (laughing) - But you're bending over. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a gorilla ass. - You're sticking it out.

- You're sticking it out. - That's booty. - Yeah, but now the pants are pushing it up. - What about my, what about mine? - All right, hold on, let me judge you, I asked for it. - No, stand straight up, look at it now.

Look at my ass. - Okay, you know what, I got a great shitter. You're out of your mind. - I stand corrected. - I have a nice shitter.

“- I stand corrected, only hair at the bottom.”

- Yeah? - How'd you do that? - Well, look at this, look inside. - Yeah, it's so pink. Do you have the pink ass a lot of everything?

- I know, I know. - It's so pink. - I want an award in '06. - You definitely have a virgin ass. - I do, brother.

- It's like a piglet's asshole, this guy.

- I just never been touched.

- It's never been touched. - Yeah, never been abused. - That's what I'm saying. The color has nothing to do about, the asshole look at it.

- Oh, it is a lot to do about it. - Oh, really? Yours is darkest night. - You know, if you have a black eye, someone is punching my fucking asshole.

- I'm just ethnic. - They're punching with their weed. - No, they're not. - Yeah, they're not. - You're like an asshole.

It's a Greenland shark down there. (laughing) - Where's a darker asshole? The Greenland shark or me? (laughing)

- Oh, okay. - I literally, you have the pinkest asshole I have ever seen. - It's so pink. - It's insane. - You don't you shit out your mouth,

'cause there's no way, there's no way it comes out your asshole. - You're fat, you're genius. - You bust shit out your mouth. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You seem what I do on stage.

- Yeah, so I do shit out of my mouth. - Very good. - Are you a little bisexual or no? - No, I've had a, I've had a male, male female threesome. - Yeah, the devil's threesome.

- Yeah, that was three. - Yeah, yeah, I threw them at that. - Yeah, that moves the devil's two and a half. - Yeah. - If it was a lot of fun, we didn't do an eye full tower,

we did a leading tower of music. (laughing) - It was a tall guy in me, it was tall guy in me, so I've done that, I don't know where that put. - But did you touch the guy at all, in any way?

- Yeah, it was accidental.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, there's always accidental rubbing.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - There was, well, like we had to switch positions at one point. - Right, and this is back. - I'm gonna just tell you right now, if I ever had sex with you and another girl,

I'll be laughing so often, or I would not be able to get hard, dude. You know how funny that'd be? Oh my god, you would, you would be hearing the sound of Mario getting a coin every time I thrust.

(laughing) - Oh my god, dude, oh my god, it's so funny dude. - How scared would you be if you were having a threesome and the other male was at work of the male, having the bigger dick than you?

“- Oh, 'cause that's why I gotta give this guy props”

that had the threesome with me. - Yeah. - Because he was very confident and then it turned out I found out why, but-- - Big ol' here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, big ol'. - Can I ask you a serious question and say if I make 'cause we're fucking around, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I'm gonna ask him a serious question? - Of course.

- Do you think as a comic, like sometimes I think, like the reason why I had the upper hand in comedy was because I'm a small or a Korean dude and it looked the way that I do, right, which sets me apart from other people.

I mean, do you think that the dwarf is helped you in your comedy?

- Oh, that first it helped.

- Yeah. - And then later it hurt. - What do you mean? - Because at first it helped because of his joints, I mean, they're really, they're not that hard.

I had to walk a long way those comedy stools on stage, right? - You know, hide the stages? - Oh my god, I didn't get a shirt for those things. - Yeah, yeah. - They had to make one of those-- (audience laughing)

- Get him a punch, take it. - Go ahead. - So it helped at first because then, for the exact reasons that you described that people wanted something different on the show, they didn't wanna just your average straight, white male.

Like, just a straight, red-headed, white guy. Like, that's so boring. - Yeah. - That's just so horrible in boring, even if they do have a knife.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

- And then, so that got me on shows.

“But then it was harder to get past the threshold of people”

think I was a gimmick and people to actually like pass me onto the next stage of like, oh no, but he's actually funny. Like, actually fun. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- And you know, that's your own head saying that because it's like, you know what I mean? - There was a lot of space. - A lot of space. - Yeah, that's an echo.

- Oh, it's an echo. - Okay. - Yeah. - That's a big old head. - Yeah.

- When I was on the cruise when I was performing, I thought to myself, Brad, you would have just disappeared because he went with shaking back and forth. - Oh my god. (laughing)

- I just, you mean, gone to the other side. - Dude, I love comedy on cruises. - Fun, right? - Fun, he loved it. - When it's a theme cruise, yeah.

- Did you do the Joker's one on the Birds Cruise? - No, I did the work of Hallock's guys. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. - That was really fun.

- That's awesome. - It was so much fun. - That's so cool. - Yeah, yeah.

- I do the Chris Jerko rock and wrestling rager at sea.

- Wow. - So that's pro wrestling comedy and heavy metal on a boat. - Wow. - Do you get to wrestle? - There's clips.

- Oh, really?

“- Yeah, there is a clip of me giving Horn Swagola Stone”

called Stunner. You can find that. - I can win. - Yeah. - Yeah.

(crowd cheering) - Don't make shit. - Oh, he's hit. - Oh, he took off your hat. - He stole my hat.

That's son of a bitch. - He gives me the finger. (laughing) - Oh my god. - That was the moment when Sonic the Hedgehog gets hit

and the coins just fly out of him. - Oh yeah. - He gave me another dwarf a stunner. - You gotta go down there. He's taking my an hour to get back.

(laughing) - Wow, that sounds so fun. - That was so much fun. - So like, as a wrestling fan, I could tell you like, the holy shit chant is like one of the best compliments

a wrestler can get and we got that just staring at each other. - Oh yeah. - Wow, wow. - I didn't have to go through like a table of thumb tax. - It's a very, look at that.

That's a very holy shit moment. - Did you practice that? - No. - Oh, that's instinctual. - Felt it in the moment, man.

- Yeah, that's a dwarf on dwarf crime. - Okay. (laughing) - Wow. - I love one of those stats on dwarf on dwarf crime.

(laughing) That's my favorite thing. You did it, but it was the same height as before. (laughing) - As I'm sitting down, it's the same height.

(laughing) - Bro, I have watched Waters get into actual fights. It is so funny. - Really? - It is so funny.

So every summer, there's a national dwarf convention. Oh my God, we got to go. - We got to go. - Where is it? - This year, it's hard work.

This year, it's hard work. That's very good. This year, it's in New Orleans. - Oh, wow. - Oh, wow.

- We got to go. - Little rocker. (laughing) Smallville. - Pebbleton.

- Go back, go back. The little people of America and the LPA, National Conference is an annual week long event providing support education community for people with dwarfism.

And their families, and that's a fun way of saying boating. - Last year, because that's all four. - Last year was in San Diego. - Yeah. - I went to that one.

- So, the ticket's half off. So, we didn't stop at it. - I don't want it too many out of the list. - Let me be able to, yes, that's a good one. - Very good.

- That's a really good one. - Very good. - Oh, so this year, it should not be an Ireland. If it's an Ireland, we're gonna trip some people to fuck out.

- Yeah, dude. - Yeah. - So I'm just gonna walk out of a pub and go, literally shit. - This is like the, it's like when the crickets fell

from the sky, you know, it's happening. - It's happening. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So click on that thing, the future national. I want to see this, 20, 26.

- It's happening. - Yeah, July. - Yep, July, it's in New Orleans. - And then 20, 27, it's in New York, New York. - Wow.

- Wait, why can't we go to this? - Is it, is it, is it, is it, is it? - If we went, would it be weird or not? - Yeah. - Okay.

- All right. - I mean, we would be showing off. - Yeah. - We have security guards or anything. - Oh, okay. - You guys, what do you guys need to grab something

from up on a top shelf or something? - We need you guys. - But the people that are working there are no dwarves, are there or no? - I mean, yeah, it's all, it's all,

show everyone. - Everyone, everyone, working there is dwarves as well. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah, so like, is the building smaller?

- No, it's right.

- It's a regular hotel, which always trips me out

'cause there's people staying in this hotel that don't know there's a dwarf convention going on when they book it and they show up like, I have hit the floor. - Some guy on a sales trip walks out of the bar, they're in the lobby.

He's like, fuck. (laughing) - Can you imagine if you did drugs for like the first time and then you woke up in the next year's time? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That's very odd. - You're so crowded by dwarves. - Look at. - Trippin' on mushrooms. - I be like, holy shit, I fell in the narnia.

(laughing) - So how many people go to this convention? - Over a thousand. - Right, so that's like 300 regular people. - Yeah, yeah.

(laughing) - A thousand little people go every single year.

“- And now is this raising money for anything at all?”

- Yeah. - So it's an LPA. - Which one does that stand for LPA? - Little people of America. - Oh, there is an organization.

- Little people of America. (laughing)

- Little man. - Wow. - Yeah.

“- And now now this is actually, let's be honest.”

This is similar to summer camps and all that's that.

This is just a hookup convention for young single, yeah, yes, yeah. - You go all year and you're in your friend zone and then you go to a dwarf convention and your hottest fuck.

- Wow. - And it's awesome. - Now, were you getting late at these when you were single when you were going to these? - Bro.

- Wait, sir. - With other dwarves? - Bro. - Really? - I've got stories.

- Give us a word. - I've got story. I've laid, I've laid waste to some little women. (laughing) - And what was the little women turn you on?

- Yeah. - Okay. - You're married to, you're married to you. (laughing) - What do you mean little women turn you on?

- Yeah, why is that funny? - Because you acted surprised. - No, he inquired. - No, because I'll tell you why it's because I know some Asian dudes

are attracted to white girls. - Characters. - Not the same. - It is the same. - Traitors.

- No, it's not. - Yeah. - The traitors, right? - Yeah.

- He's married to a full size Asian woman.

- I understand that. - I know. - He's a traitor. - He's a traitor. - He's a traitor.

- Yeah, he's not a traitor. - That's that one. - You put our traitors. - A lot of the dwarf women call me a traitor. - Do they really?

- Yeah. - That's insane. - This is very true. - No, what do you mean? This is the same as like--

- Black guys. - What? - Black guys with uh, white girls? - Yeah. - What's up?

(laughing) - Like black dudes when they're with white girls. - That doesn't happen. (laughing) - Nice, Versa.

- Hey, hey. - He was the traitor. - Are you gonna leave him out there? - Yeah. - Go ahead, let him play.

- Oh no, I don't need help on this 'cause I know it's true. - Okay. - Yeah. - Oh, he knows about black.

- Black women complain that black men. - Right. - Oh, right, right. - Yeah, yeah. - That's what he meant.

- I thought he meant he didn't like it. - Oh, no, no, no. - I was like, are you good? - Yeah. - I didn't read that.

- Yeah. - But you understand, that was my boiled hamburger moment. - Yeah, yeah. - But also eating. - But also eating.

(laughing) - But he doesn't like it. - No, yeah. - Let's be honest. - Let's be honest.

- Yeah, but okay. How many, and these are all, you're all like consenting adults. How many little people, how many little women love that movie?

How many little women? - How many little women? - We should remake it with little women. - Why would they not? (laughing)

- How is that not? - How many little women in a weekend? - It's a weekend. - It's a week. - It's a full week.

- Yeah, full week.

“- What was the full take down number of a full week?”

- Of, how many women did you sleep with? - Of my best year? - Your best year. - I mean, we hit two hands. - No way.

- You're talking one or two a day? - Yeah. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow.

- I told you it's a fuck carnival. - Wow. - I was fucking Matt Rife at that damn thing. It was great. - Who's up in that room?

- You're the Matt Rife of Little People. (laughing) - The Matt Rife of Little People. - Yeah, wow. - Did you do a groundwork?

- Yeah. (laughing) - No, I had a very good time when I was single. - That's amazing. - It was fun.

- But who do you find more attractive little people or, in this sound? - Not in little people. - Or not in the little people. Like, what do you, or reachers?

- Or reachers, yeah. - Can we call reachers? - Yeah, yeah. - We're not in a car derogatory names. Reachers, what's the other one you call us?

- Bigger figures. - Bigger figures. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bigger figures. - Bigger figures.

- What do you find more attractive than what? - I say hard art. - Okay. - You have to say big, I say bigus. - Yeah.

- I can say big or, okay. - Okay, got it. - Don't like you big, yeah. - Biggers be crazy. - So do you prefer bigus or, or do you prefer little us?

(laughing) - Let us, let us, let us. - Little us, right? - Little appuctions. - Little appuctions.

- Yeah, yeah. - I'm just learning this. - It sounds crazy, but I truly don't have a preference. - Oh, yeah. - I truly don't.

- Yeah, because he's been with both women. - Yeah, it's great.

- I've just never had the opportunity to date a little person.

- Come on, your Asian, there's plenty. (laughing) - Too many women, you are the little person. (laughing) - Okay.

(laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But you know what I mean though? - Yeah. - Yeah, have you had the opportunity?

- I've never been hit on by a little person, or I've got to go to the convention, man. - Yeah, I mean, I've never, I never have. That's kind of crazy.

“No, I've never been hit on, but because here's the thing.”

Every time I've ever seen like a little woman, she's with a little man. - Yeah. - It's like, I've seen many little men in public. Men, I've seen, I don't know, slow down.

- I've seen many male dwarfs in public without women, by themselves, or in a group, but I've almost never seen a dwarf woman with a group of other dwarf women in public on the town.

- Why do they need to be more than one? Do you have a selection? - When you say, what do you call that group or M&M's? - What do I call that? - Yeah.

It's like your murder at Crow's. - I like the green M&M's. I mean, what's a group of dwarfs? Is it a coaster of dwarves? (laughing)

- I've never seen that before.

(laughing)

“- Look at those people, they're very handful of them.”

- I can see like 20 women coming out of a whale. (laughing) - Bro, there was one time at a convention where there was a group, there was a group action, going on, and there was an origin.

- There was an origin. - Yeah. - There are people who have a little people origin. - Yeah. - There was about, but that LPO's, but I call LPO's.

- LPO's. - Stop it, Carla. - Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. - We all slept in the same bed that night, but instead, we slept like sideways.

(laughing) - It's so fun. - It's so cute. (laughing) (laughing)

- We fit, you fit, we fit? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - Well, that doesn't think about that convention. You guys can all hear a room, huh?

- Yeah. - Wanting like puppies and stuff. - Yeah. - You're like litter. - You call it litter?

- Oh, hold you, it's called a handful. - And a handful. - And full of water. - Okay. - Yeah, you throw a couple pillows in the bathtub.

You three more in there. - Wow, wow, you're good. - So how many people fit on the bed? I wanna do the math on this. - So, and this is real.

- Well, what size bed is it? - Wait, wait, wait. - It's a king hotel bed. - Okay. - He's gonna tell you what is actually really--

- No jokes. - No jokes. - No jokes.

- We always make sure there's either like six or eight of us.

- Oh, my god. - Oh, my god. - There can't be seven of us. - Why? - The only months has started singing.

- Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - We do that on purpose. This is like a sleeping white girl singer. We will literally look around and be like,

okay, there's six. If one guy comes up, we're like, you can't come in. - Can't come in. - Yeah. - Find out.

- That's really, that's lower than it's a lower than it's a lower thing. - We don't like it. - Yeah, you don't like it. - Yeah, we're like, they're, they're cannot be seven of us in a room. - Wow, that's so funny.

- But, that's really, nine's fine though. - No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Any number about the seven, big, yeah, okay. - Totally cool. - 'Cause I didn't move it.

(laughing)

“- Yeah, by the way, did you guys see the results of the Razi awards?”

- No. - No. - The CGI dwarf actors. - Oh, that's right, you see one in a ward. - Which I think is--

- That's, that's great. - Fucking fantastic. - Yeah. - That, you know, it was not actual dwarves playing with dwarves. - Yeah.

- Which I know you have a big gripe with. - I still met at that? - Yeah, of course I'm still mad at that. - Yeah, yeah. - It's not on a fucking payday, dude.

- Yeah, yeah. - All seven artificial dwarves, all the AI CGI dwarves got, yeah. - Yeah, as we're supporting actor. - And Nicholas Cage was up there. Steven Dorothe, Greg, Kineer, and Silvester Stallone.

- Who's Kate? - Who cage for what? - Gunslingers. - Oh, I see. - Yeah, yeah, seven.

- Seven. - Seven, seven CGI dwarves. - Didn't use to. - One for we're supporting actor and according to this website,

they took home a joint razzy, stealing yet another award that could have gone to a real life dwarf character. - Let me ask you something. - I could have won that razzy. - Now, if they did use dwarves in the actual movie

and you didn't get the part of the seven, would you be mad? - Heartbroken. - Oh yeah, that would be heartbreaking.

“- It's like being in one of the funniest guys”

on planet Earth and not getting it. - Yeah. - 'Cause they're right, that would be heartbreaking. - It truly would be, 'cause there's not that many of us. - Well, like doing the acting space, yeah.

- How many in there? - I would argue there's too many of you in the night. (laughing) - Gotta get to down to one profession. (laughing)

- Probably 20, right? - I mean, you see the same guys there at every audition. - Right. - 'Cause it's like 50, 50 getting it for you. - Probably.

- Yeah, if they used dwarves. - Who's your like Frederick Douglass or... (laughing) - Is there a historical figure that you can go back to?

- Absolutely. - Yeah, who is that? - Billy Barty. - Billy Barty. - That's what I want to know.

Look up Billy Barty here. Billy Barty, he was an actor, and he actually founded Little People of America. He founded LPA. - Wow.

- So all of those orgies happen because of Billy Barty. - Yeah, thank you Billy Barty. - Good, that's your MLK. - Yeah. - Okay, yeah.

- We should at least get a half to y'all. - Yeah, oh yeah. (laughing) - For his birthday. - Ah, had the dream.

(laughing) - You're right. - He doesn't speak. (laughing) - I mean, I'd make funny, but that's kind of what he sounded like.

- Yeah, yeah. - Billy Barty. - Yeah. - So that's our guy. - Wow, that's your guy.

- And how long ago did he pass away? How long has he been dead? - Uh, I don't know. - Let me see, 2000 he died. - 2000.

- I'll see you never met him.

- Oh no, I met him. - You've met Billy Barty. - Yeah, I've met him. - Wow. - Yeah, he's great.

- Did you get nervous when you met him? - No, because I didn't really know who he was. - But then-- - You didn't know his social impact. - Yeah.

- At the time, you didn't. - Yeah. - And now I know. - Billy Barty. - Yeah. (laughing)

- He was in Willow? - Yeah. - He was in Willow. - He was the...

That's like the power to get into all the universes.

- What finger? - Was the R2D2 or? - No, that was Kenny Baker. - Oh, Kenny Baker. - I know way too much.

- Yeah. - No, that's good. You know your history. I think that's important. - I got to know my history.

(laughing) - They gave him some more. - You were a little history. - Yeah, so... - It's more of a pamphlet in the whole book.

- So he died at what is his name? - Yeah, yeah. - Any sex, is that what he was? - But historically, but historically, who's your, like, you do have a gang

that's con back then, or, oh, like, oh, like, oh, like a dweevil dwarf. - Like a dweevil dwarf? - Like a dweevil dwarf. - Back then, like two hundred, three, four hundred years.

“- I mean, I think, there was one dwarf serial killer.”

- Oh, whoa, this is, dude, I forget his name.

- Well, look at this, there's a couple here.

There's Tom Thumb, the original Tom Thumb, from Stratton. - Yeah, yeah. - There was a count, Joseph Burowski, a three, three Polish, born in her tender musician, author, was welcome European course later lived in England.

The Ovid's family family, Jewish entertainers, Romania. - Okay, the Ovid's family, if you gave me unlimited power in Hollywood, I make that movie. - The Ovid's family. - Yeah, why, why, why, why?

- They were a family of Jewish dwarves from Romania, but they were taken to Auschwitz, and they were experimented on, and like they were, and not all of them survive. - Don't do it.

- Come on, do it, don't do it, Bobby. - Don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I really don't have a joke for you. - Yeah, you don't do it too, don't, do it to my face. - Don't, you get me, yeah, yeah.

- Remember, I have a child. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's the little train. (laughing)

(laughing) (laughing) (laughing) (laughing)

- Easy bake, easy bake. (laughing)

- Because our dog cages stay. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, you heard the ding at the easy bake. Like ding dwarves are done. (laughing) - Oh my God, so those are the worst jokes I've ever seen. - The dwarves of Auschwitz.

- Yep. - Wow, that's so fucked up. - So fucked up. - That's the documentary that we're doing. - Dude, I'm the food. (laughing)

I'm just going to go, no, I'm going to ask. - What are you doing? - Real though. - Can I be real about it, Lee? - Right, it's like, you mean, right?

They weren't as hungry as that. (laughing) - I didn't know it, I knew it. - Because sometimes I don't think if you're like a less breath, I can do this.

- They get everyone to slice a bread, we're sitting there like, we're eating good time. - Yeah, you just get like, give me a put on. (laughing) - We gotta starve the dwarves.

What do we do, put on the put on the put on the put on the put on? - I can book fruit time. - You're talking to a loaf of bread. - Can you guys get the same amount of food? - I don't know, I wasn't there. - Okay, all right, that old.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, seven dwarves, the fact there was seven. - Oh my God, holy. - Seven dwarves, about to, that's the original story. That's where we were from. - Oh, that's crazy.

- That is crazy, they remake that Disney, and I swear to God, if you see G.I. people, a seven dwarves. - But that's a cool fuck, wow, that's the, they gotta make that movie.

“- I really want to be that you should produce.”

- I want to produce it. - Yeah, I still don't have them in it. - No, you gotta find the right to it. Is what you gotta do. - Yeah, yeah.

- Who has the IP of that? - Who the hell is John the dwarf? - Yeah. - John the dwarf, desert father of early Christianity. - Yeah, John the dwarf.

- What? - John the dwarf. - Blame me. - A copic desert father. - Yeah.

- All right. And then there was one dwarf I know who was actually the one that actually mapped like the inside of the human body. - One of the first ones. - Well, 'cause you could crawl in there.

- Exactly. - Yeah, there. (laughing) (laughing) - There it is.

(laughing) (laughing) - Make one slice of them in there. - Fuck. - The where?

- How do you know where the lever is? - I've been there. - I've been there. - I've been there. - I've been there.

- I can tell the tail. - We're so sorry man. - Why? - I feel bad. - I'm funny.

- That's not funny, dude. - It's okay. - It's so fucked up. - It's all right. (laughing)

- How do you just crawl around in there? - It's crawling. (laughing) - Andrew, you'd see the lump in the chest like from alien. (laughing)

“- In fact, that's what the motivation for alien was.”

That burst out of the chest. - Miss East pole. - That's out of the, there are five arteries around the heart. (laughing) - There are five.

- There's around the heart. And you can pause back and get back. - Five, there's four, there's four chambers. - God damn. Hold on.

(laughing) I'm gonna find out how many stomachs we have. We're right back. - See, he made it. What is he, he's been there for so long.

(laughing) - Red, come in with this stuff. - Oh God. - Red, this is why we've been friends for so long. - So long.

- 'Cause we have the most fun.

- Yeah, man. - Oh God.

- And Brad by the way, Brad by the way,

“for people that wanna know, not just the great guy,”

great comedian, has a special out right now. - Yeah. - He's gonna watch it live. - Lot, listen to the title of this. - You ready?

- Yeah. - It's real.

- Who told him the name of the title?

- Live on short street. - It was filmed on short street. - Yeah.

“- The theater he filmed that that sits on short.”

- Wow. - Lexington, in Lexington, Kentucky. - And when does it come out, Brad? - April 12th. - April 12th.

- Yeah.

- April 12th on my YouTube channel.

- Yeah. - I'm gonna, Brad Williams comedy, you can watch it. So I might argue it's a short film. - Oh. (laughing)

- Amazing. - Yeah. - Dude, if that ever one like,

“I should make that seven dwarves of out,”

seven dwarves of Auschwitz. But make it of short film. - Oh my God. - Just so we can win best short film at the Oscar. - Oh good.

- That'd be so good. (laughing) - He's a little funny. No, he's very funny. - Mm-hmm.

- Don't see the man live right now. - Yeah. - Brad, look at him and say thank you for being a bad friend. - Hey everybody. Thank you for being a bad friend.

- Wow. - So good. (upbeat music) [GUNFIRE]