Eric Andre Goes Full Korean

it hit us hard and it's for Oliver Tree, um, use a dear friend of ours.

“And I just don't, I really just don't know really what to say about them, still processing it.”

Yes, uh, we don't know what to say. So we're not going to say much other than we loved him so very much. She was a good friend of ours, a part of our world. His, um, he'll be on the, uh, an episode of the bad game show in a couple of weeks. But, uh, he was, uh, near and dear to us. We loved him very much. He was a really good dude. And we're going to miss him a lot. And, uh, we love you. We love you. And, uh, he'll forever be a bad friend. Hey everybody Andrew is the best comic on planet earth.

And he's doing shows in San Diego, the sound, Delmar. Um, June 28th, two shows. We're doing an early

show in a late show down in Delmar. Bobby's, uh, hometown, please come out and see me San Diego.

Uh, I love you very much. And then I'm playing St. Charles, which is St. Louis, um, Missouri,

“their August 7th. Go to Andersonantino.com for those tickets, Andersonantino.com.”

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Yeah, I'm a calling. Happy birthday to you. Um, nice. It's funny because, um, you're dressed in a suit, wearing a tie because you're going to a big event. You're going to who an event where Steven Spielberg is going to talk about disclosure day. And I told you, uh, let me finish, um, told you before this podcast, just go now. Go now because you're not going

to be here for the pod. And I realized why you stayed for the happy birthday song. Because also I wanted it, because you didn't know it was my birthday. Yeah, in order to that care. I know. Yeah, no, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Blow out your Ralph's cake. Happy birthday, kiddo. Thanks Bob. Yeah. That was crazy. My wish was I wish Bobby cared about my birthday. And right when I blew it out, you said happy. Dude, it's so weird that you just said that because

my, my, my emotions just changed the body. And I'm going to give you a hug. It was like a obsession. Wow, the wishbone. Yeah, yeah, come here with wishbone. Wishbone. I saw it. No. And I'll say this. Are you drinking? You're not drinking. No. So you got this just for me to drink alone. Well, for I wanted my contacts. I do. Okay, I'll tell cheers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you know what pisses me off about this, kid. I sent them a text this morning. And in the text, uh, it said happy

birthday, you continued to let me down. Um, here, cheers. Cheers. All right. Cheers. Okay. Kind of operation. Are we running there? I sent them classes. At least I sent them. It's real glasses. We're from Ross. Okay. Happy birthday. You continue to let me down year after year. And I know this following year will be just the same. I love you. I didn't text you, but I like to do a live text. Yeah, live text. Yeah. Um, you've grown enormously over the years. Um,

I've realized you do have talent. You're really doing. Thank you. Yeah. You're a creative kid. You have talent. And I, you know, being a Hollywood piece of shit is going to, I'm going to treat

“you nicer because I believe, I believe one day you will get that opportunity. So I'm going to change”

right and go, kid, kiddo, dude. You got to kid. And, and you're talented and I embrace you. And I want you to have a good time tonight. And whatever you need, I got here. If you give me your money, I'll give you double. Wow. Okay. I gave him five grand. I'm going to give you 10 grand. No, but I'll give him five grand for what? And five grand on his birthday with four for why birthday party. How did you give him five grand today? Because I, well, he needed the money. He said he can't pay rent.

So I gave him five grand. And then I said on Friday, your birthday party, I'll give you another five. So 10.

Okay. I'll give me. So 20. Yeah. Yeah. But then I had to see the receipts first to know

that you got the money. And then I will do. It was cat. I gave him cash. I'd like to see the cash. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have the cash on you? It's in my car. It's in your car. Go grab it. It's it's it's red. It's red. It's red hit a trickery. He got a red head. I know you. I'm not a trick. You're a deceiver. You're a treat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what annoys me about the kid is he saw me get out of my car and he stared at my hand like an autistic little, an autistic little spy.

And he was like, what is that? Is that a gift for me? And it's annoying because it is. But it's so annoying

Like he's just so like such a little autistic weirdo. Yeah. He didn't say hi. He just looked

“out of my arms to see what I'm carrying. And then looked up at me. That's why I pushed him as hard as I could.”

What did he give you? He hasn't given it to me yet. But I believe it's a record. Oh, it's a record. It's on the shape of the package. Two records now. Oh, two records now. Okay. It's both three including to the Bobby look at him. Oh, no. I'm not going to give you a record. I'm going to do something better. Whoa. Yeah. I'm going to double down on it. All right. Get the record. Okay. Happy birthday, bud. This is a very special. And so let me warn you

something before you do this. No, that this is graded and rated twice. Okay. If you know anything about collections, this guy. Okay. You're so annoying. Okay. You're still you are so fucking annoying. I learned it. I learned it this morning. I learned a lot. I don't know anything about it. It's like the cards you gave me from Arsenal. Yeah. I mean, what those were super valuable.

“I understand it. That's why it's the same. I didn't know anything about card. I understand. So tell me”

how much this is. So all I know is that this woman told me these are graded that the cover is mint. It's em. It got a mint cover. And it got two pluses plus plus on the physical like air one water on the physical on the physical album itself is graded. That is so sick. Good. It's a Japanese, a Japanese press. Now check this out. Be very careful. Open it up and show the record. This is the sickest part.

Look at that. People can see it. So it's it's red vinyl. That's amazing. Don't take it out.

How much is it? If you take it out, she said, make sure you play it. If you're going to take it out, play it. Yeah. But don't like take it out and pull it out of the. Can I be honest with you? What? This is a copy. It's 96 cents. I got it on Amazon. Thank you. That's very nice. It's very rad, right? Well, I'm just going to let you know that I knew I know how much it is. You do. I know. Can I Google it, right? Google it. And so I'm going to venue you later. And I want that receipt.

That's a receipt we need. Okay. It's not a competition, but it is. You made it for life. I don't make it. Yes, you did. It's your energy. Even when I came in here, your energy was like, fucking angry and like I had a tough day. That's why tell me about your day. No, I had an ocular today. I had an ocular migraine today. I had about what happened. I haven't had one in months and months, but they're where you go blind. I go blind in my eyes. Oh, no. I know. It's really

did sucks. It sucks, shit. Did you have a dizzy spell on the bathroom again? Remember? Yes. The little slip. Oh, boy. Yeah. I can't wait till you have a stroke. And when you do, I'm going to walk into the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you'll relearn how to speak again. Oh, okay. Well, that's. Yeah. Fuck you. What are you doing today? You started it. Oh, you were angry before. And then I came in and then I'm just trying to have a talk with the guys and

here's you. Yeah. Can I say something? Can I say something? You're Trump. Can I say something? Okay. And I couldn't let I couldn't get anything out. Yeah. We're living in a simulation.

“I believe we're living in a simulator. That's a fact. I'll tell you what's happened. Okay. What happened?”

I was in Toronto. I was in an elevator with this tall man, white hair, glasses, and he was particularly hip but old. And you know, when old people get, um, they they stop-trying sexy, they start dressing weird here. You're mean, like loud sweatpants. So you now? Yes. That's you now. Got to be now. Okay. I don't care how my hair goes. Right. Yesterday, I did all green with socks.

You've never cared how you dress. You always dress funky. Yeah. Yeah. I'm always been like,

you've always been a fun ride. So this guy had a specific look. Right. And he had this smaller wife. Very pretty. Right. And I just go, dude, I like your style. He's like, thanks, dude, you're comedian, right? I go, yeah. And that was pretty much the conversation. Right. I'm in Chicago at the hotel. And they just walked by me. The same couple. The same couple. And he goes, hey, I go, what the fuck? And he goes, what do you mean? I go, didn't mean he goes, yeah.

And I went, simulation. He goes, maybe. Dude, you're telling me he didn't go to Chicago to see you. I was assumed he did. No, no, he was just randomly there. No, fuck. Yes, what? Yes,

way. Here's what happened in my mind. This guy's trying to play it cool. No, that's how I can play it out.

No. It gets back to the room of his wife. And she's like, I love Bobby Lee. And he's like, you should have said something. She goes, oh, I don't know. He's playing a show. It's all sold out. As it always is. And then the guy goes, oh, there's tickets available in Chicago. Chicago,

And it just so happens that the kind of people that can pull the trigger last minute was stay at a hotel that you'd be staying at because it's five star. I know that. Okay. And that's what happened.

“All right. And I believe that's exactly what happened. That's not what happened. What happened?”

It's a simulation. Okay. Here's another thing that I experience that my girlfriend can even, you know, me and tell you she can attest. We're walking on the street. This is a couple of weeks ago. Right. There's a car, a Lincoln Continental. Yes. A old school car. Right. Black. Yeah. Love a Lincoln. So we're walking on the street on the left side. There's a Lincoln Continental Parked. Right. There's four black guys. Right. The windows rolled down. There's a woman in the driver's seat.

But she's parked. Okay. Right. And they're dancing. They're always dancing. And I love the freedom of dance.

Yeah. I mean, I don't care what color you are. We're pro dance. Yeah. I'm yeah. River dance. You know, I mean, break swing, whatever. Break dance. Break dancing. I love it. Right. They're fucking dancing. We're walking by. Right. Boombox. Yeah. Boombox. Guess what? Yeah. No music. They were in sync. They were in complete. There was literally no music. And they were dancing. And she's dancing in the like bobbing her head. And there was no music. And as we turn the corner,

I looked at my girlfriend. I go, "Are you real?" Did she hear music? No. I don't even think you're real. Did they have headphones? What? Did they have headphones? Silent disco. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was so surreal. You know what it is? They were shooting like a target ad. And then you can't play the music while you're filming. And he just saw a scene from a target ad. Or can you imagine if we are in a simulation?

And there's a crack and they're letting you see it. I know. I think they're letting me see it. They're letting you see it because they go, "No one will believe Bobby." He says crazy shit for year. Yeah. Twenty years he's been saying nonsense on podcasts. No one's going to believe him.

“Yeah. And so they will tease you. That's what the aliens would do. Yeah. They go, "Fuck them.”

They'll never believe him." He's crazy. Okay. Last simulation. I'm at a restaurant.

Okay. Yeah. But I don't get a menu. Okay? No menu. Right? So I just walk up to the house and I go, "Can I get a menu?" And they go, "What are you doing here?" What? What are they saying? What? What? What are they saying? What? You're like, "I'm in trouble." What? Like, it was almost as if. Right? I wasn't supposed to approach this person.

You weren't supposed to be there today. Right. Another day you could have-- I could have been there. Like, he was rehearsing. Right. Right. Okay. The cooks were like, "Oh shit. Right." And I looked in the kitchen. No vegetables. You mean? Nothing's going on. We just want it, right? There's a cast chair. Someone gets up. Someone got just ear-me to read a newspaper. Yeah. And he was almost as

if like, "I wasn't supposed to be there." And he didn't even know what I was talking about.

Well, he wasn't. And he was kind of looking around from it. It was really fucking weird. And let's play the logic card. They're probably switching from lunch to dinner. And he's like, "What do you-- we don't-- we're unprepared." Okay. If I'm going to play the other day. They're very-- I want you to, because I don't want to lose my mind.

“Well, you should. I mean, we-- Yeah, I don't want to lose my mind.”

There's no doubt. Yeah. So what you're saying to me is this, then. Okay. That the two people I ran into from Toronto in Chicago, secretly, funds. Right. Our fans. That's really their fans. You have millions of-- Yeah. I had to tell him what I did. You said he said you're a comedian, right? Right. And I go, yeah. He's like, "Oh."

Which is him playing coy. Okay. Okay. He's a rich guy playing cool. Yeah. He doesn't want to in front of his wife go, "Are you the comedian?" That doesn't make any sense. It does. People do that all the time. People try to act cool all the time. All right. So let's-- You're a stand-up, right? No, all right. And then they know everything you've done.

All right. Let's just say, "Well, that's it." Okay. So Lou Reed, for instance, had when he was alive, he did a poetry reading. I went to it, right? Right. And if I ran into Lou Reed on the street, right, it wouldn't be like I would pretend, right, that it wasn't fucking Lou Reed. But you're an entertainment. You're talking about a guy who's probably in finance.

He doesn't do this for a living. He's-- All right. Let's-- So-- And you're a guy who's-- What you're telling me is the black people dancing is a target commercial. I mean, they are-- I just happened to walk in for a shoot. Maybe Walmart. Could be Walmart. Could be Walmart. Uh-oh. Interesting. Costco. Let's go Costco. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kmart. Is Walmart still around? Yeah. And I came in the wrong time at that restaurant. Yep. Okay. These three things. Those all three things can be true. 100%. It's not a simulation. I mean, I'll give you the-- I had one. I'm not gonna lie.

Okay, give me a simulation. Something fucked me up in the garbage. The garbage can. The garbage truck came. I sat at the front window. Yeah. I was looking out, hadn't coffee in the morning.

I watched the garbage truck grab my bin. My black bin.

“With the-- It's so-- it's un-- What time? It was about seven in the morning.”

Okay. Guess I got it out? Good dog, I got that out of the-- Oh, it was an Italian garbage. Yes. Oh, yes. Guess I'm not-- I'm not gonna go in the mall, no. My not gonna go in the mall, no. Okay.

And I see it happen. Yeah. I go back. I sit down, I'm on the computer. I'm doing some stuff, but I'm about to-- She wakes up, dogs up, dogs need to be taken out to poop and pee. Yeah, one dog. Huh? I said, she wakes up, dog wakes up. You said dogs-- you said plural. Mm. Also, we're correcting each other's English. Well, when you say dogs, you imply there's more than one dog.

Maybe-- And you have one fucking dog. There is. Not there isn't. Maybe? Oh, so you got a new dog? Maybe. It's so funny because it would be something that you would tell me. Maybe. Okay. But the simulation hasn't communicated whether or not I should tell you.

Continue the story. I go outside to take dog for poop.

You're pack of wolves. Well, they're--

It might as well just-- in balance. Okay. The herd. The herd. The herd. And my garbage can is closed. Yeah. So I grab it to wheel it up to the house, and it's full of trash. Oh, my-- Dude. That's so annoying. No, but I was like, somebody switched trash.

Somebody didn't take out the trash or some shit, and they just moved there as where mine was. Okay, did you look-- Wait a minute. Okay. My fucking address is on. So it was mine.

“But what you have to do then is open up the trash can to see if those are your items.”

Because if you look at my trash can, you know it's my trash can. There's banana peels. Wait, what else? What? And it peels? I have banana peels. Yeah. Right. I'll probably empty bottle-- Hey, cans of a red. Red. Red, red ball. I'm sorry.

Kimchi. Yeah. Old balls of Kimchi. Bob. You know, fuck you. Tom Flower seeds? Yes. I think your-- That was-- No, wasn't. There's Norbin was-- Yeah, yeah.

I also have empty bottles of instant coffee.

I buy 15 empty bottles of instant coffee. Why are we buying instant coffee? You have no idea. I have a factory at home. You're making instant coffee? No, I have 15 bottles of-- My-- Oh, my-- Okay, so my pool. My pool. Ask honey. Today they said, um, your swimming pool is black.

And I go, yeah. It's pure black. I go, yeah, it's fine. But how's it black? Instant coffee. Why are you putting that on your pool? Listen up your business. Trying to crack the simulation.

Yeah. I get what you're up to. It's a simulation cracker, dude. You're trying to crack. You add weird. You buy olive oil, which does I have. Not olive oil, a white vinegar. Okay. I bought 15 boxes of white vinegar. Uh-huh.

Yeah. The simulation doesn't know what to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like-- Why is that human being-- You know what? What? Your pool. What? Why are you putting coffee in your pool? It's for my t-shirts.

It is. What? It's for my t-shirts? You're dying your shirts with coffee and chlorine. The fonts. The font. Yeah. Although today-- Have you lost your font?

What is going on? Trying to recreate MadeWorn. Google-- Oh, you want to do what MadeWorn did. Yeah, so-- Google instant coffee. But why is it in your swimming pool? It's not-- it's not literally that.

So this is what-- this is what happened.

“Just put in your tub. I know-- I know, this is what happened, okay?”

We'll tell you how to do this. I'm making it up. I'm experimenting with different things. Okay. So this is what I did, okay? Dude, you're bored. I'm so bored. No, I have coffee.

I'm so busy. Yeah, this is what I'm-- And you get to fill up your pool with instant coffee. All right, so check it out. This shirt I got yesterday. Uh-huh. Brand new. It was white.

Yeah. It's the right. So it's like-- You put-- Right? You put like little paint, right? I got it. Right?

See, all of that. That's what my daughter is loving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I do with sandpaper. You sandpaper it. Yeah, I sandpaper the whole shirt.

So you buy new shit and make it look old. Yeah. I do experiment. So the swimming pool thing doesn't work. [laughter] You need probably a truckload of coffee for it to work.

So, you know, I mean, 15 bottles of instant coffee does not work. Yeah, dude. Three pools so big. It's so big. Yeah, it was too big. The tub. You're right.

That's-- I'll go-- I'll go tub next time. All right. But I do-- I do things when-- Not bored-- it's not boredom. It's not boredom.

What it is is-- It's much time. It's time either. Because we've been very busy you went on in the road. All right?

I know. So at home,

you see there I play video games.

Okay.

“Right? Which I haven't played in four or five months.”

A single video game? Girlfriend guy. What? He's a girlfriend guy now. I'm a girlfriend guy. And number two, right?

I haven't doomed scrolled. Oh, that's great. All right. So then to occupy my time, I have a hobby which is distressing shirts.

I like it. Okay. But are you planning on selling them? No. You should.

Yeah. Today, I bought-- But so I have 20 shirts coming over the weekend. And then I have 20 more shirts coming next week. We'll see you in the next episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a special one.

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Anyway, my point of being is that it's not boredom. It's just me having a hobby. Yeah. And I get obsessed with things. And this is just what I'm putting my time to.

I know we all have an upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you have obsessions as well. Go, these guys. I'm obsessed with their health and well being.

Yeah, yeah, and as me as well. Like for instance, that bad friendship you're wearing is a great shirt. It's one of my favorites. I can distress her for you. Actually, that would be cool distressed.

You don't want to distress? I definitely want to distress. Okay. He wants to distress is what he-- Yeah, you're very stressed out.

Because to me, it looks brand new. Too brand new for me.

“Well, do you want to tell Bob the unfortunate news?”

His child is leaving him in his wife. Yeah. His kid is getting a divorce from her parents. Legally emancipated. emancipated.

Wait, wait, your child is leaving your wife in you. Yeah. Decided. And your child is what? One year's old?

Three. Oh, three. One? I don't know how the whole of kid is. Well, she's been around, dude.

I've never met her. She's big. She has a bank account. Oh, she does. Yeah.

Okay. And she just said, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. Yeah. So this is what you do.

Because I know-- this is what happens. It's happened to him before, he knows. I could-- I did it. Yeah. And my parents were too weak.

What you do is that, right? You let him leave. Yeah. And so I left. I packed all my stuff as a kid.

Me too. I go, that gave my me. I'm going to leave home. I'm going to come back. And my dad was like, go, go, go.

I made it to the driveway and I cried and I ran back inside.

You don't do that. You locked the door. Locked chains. Yeah, yeah. You've changed a lot.

You locked the doors. Yeah. You give it a week.

See, I never do it again.

I say, lock the doors. Yeah. Chains the locks. Call the police if they try to come back. Yeah, this is-- this is someone as a B&E.

Because what it teaches them is strength. Yep.

“And that's why I had been able to win Uno.”

So in the-- sorry. I like it. No, I-- In the Uno King, babe. I'm going to show you some photos that I have.

How many games of Uno you want in a row? I'm 4 in a row right now, dude. Wow. Yeah, and I'm going to just show you. And I've been trolling anyone that plays Uno with me.

I troll them with this. And this says Uno King 4 in a row. 4 in a row, guys. 4 in a row, guys. OK?

And I play with me, my girlfriend, honey, jules, and her sister, Esau. Do you ever let your girlfriend win? I say I help her, but I sabotage her. You do. That's smart.

Yeah, I play mine games. That's good. Yeah. If equal rights man, if we want to be equal, we got to play it.

For instance, if I'm sitting next to my girlfriend, and she wants to plus for me. I'll look her right now. I go. Do we have a nice dinner tonight?

You manipulate-- I manipulate smart. I look at honey, jules, yeah. Yeah, not-- no.

“Cheeseweek, OK. And those mystery cards, you know what I mean?”

I always, one of you, looks at me.

Like exchange your hand with my hand on the leg this. Right? As you won't do it. Good. You know what I mean?

Smart. I do it. Yeah, yeah. So when I play Uno, I use mine games. I use mine games and manipulation.

Immunipulation and power. Power. Yeah, yeah, yeah, em bullying. Good, yeah, yeah. That's how Uno was.

That's what it was meant to do. I mean, bring up Uno, when to do Uno, start. Yeah, I got to tell you. I bet the origins of this were-- we're using the same tactics that Bobby's

using to win this game. Uno was invented 71 by Merle Robbins, a barber from Reading Ohio, Creative of the game, and his kitchen table was all of an argument with the son about the rules of Crazy Hates.

Yep. There's no decks where the Robbins family. That's crazy. So it was another game he were fighting over to make a new game. Anyone that says that Uno is pure luck

is out of their minds. There is skill involved. Tactics. It's tactics. It's tactics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's using what you have. It's what you have. Oh, he died, huh? Yeah, he died.

And God bless you, Merle, what a great game. Great game, but yeah, Merle Robbins, what a great game.

“And he probably made a good chunk out of that game, you think?”

No, this is one of those things I bet you

he never made a lot of money.

You know, these stories where they're like, you know, like the chick who did the Nike swoosh, they gave her 35 bucks. That was what it was, and then he gave her a bunch of stock, but the stock wasn't worth.

Oh, well, it did make money. I know, ready. Sold the game for $50,000 up front plus a relative. Ten cents per game sold. Well, that's good then.

That is really good. Well, let's see this. Google about how many decks of Uno have been sold since it's in September. I'd like to know.

I want to know how much Merle made. Yeah, ten cents was low. 155,500 million decks. 500 million decks. Times, 10 cents.

It was 10 cents. Is that what it was? Yes, a dollar. Yeah, fine. He got fuck.

I mean, he probably didn't know inflation was going to be what it was. He had no idea. He had no idea. But I would have done a dollar, instinctually.

You know what I mean? Highball it. Jenga, what do they sell a for? Let's go, Jenga. Who made Jenga and what do they sell a for?

And now I'm telling you, Jenga, I'll get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll invent it by British board, Gizane Ray. It's a great Quentin Tarantino. Jenga, I'm a fuck.

Look at it. It's a great Tarantino movie anyway. Jenga, I'm a chain. No, yeah, cut that out of it. Leave it in.

Jenga unblocked. Yeah, yeah. Leslie Scott in the early 1970s developed a game for a wooden wooden block stacking, actively her family played in Ghana, West Africa. Hmm.

Scott inches the game in London, toy fair in 1983. It originally came with mosquito nets included in the Jenga set. It was so annoying to cop. Yeah.

And they launched at the London toy fair. What do we have a toy fair still? Is the Los Angeles toy fair still a thing? We should go. No, but let's see, 1986.

No, okay, it brought to no mind, 1986. That's old millions of copies worldwide. So how much, let's see, how much did Leslie Scott make from Jenga? Can we make? Yeah, I want to know what to do.

How much did Leslie Scott make from Jenga? Michael Scott's first love. How much did she make? Five cents per every $10 in sales. So 20% royalty rate on the game.

That's really good. He wants abort. So how many? What? No, no, it says Scott's initial licensing group is not highly lucrative in the

beginning and she wants owed upwards of 230,000 early debt before it became a global phenomenon. Then I'm sure after the fact she worked out just fine. Okay. Because the super sewer soccer guy, the black guy that invented that,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't like that.

“You know, I don't like, I don't like it at all.”

What are you going to do? Well, he didn't get some money back from me. We looked that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyone that invents a game, that's like,

cultural and, you know, they should reap the rewards. But these gigantic companies gobble them up. Well, yep, in the beginning, they're like, great idea, bud. We'll give you 10 cents a game. And that sounds pretty good.

Yeah, no, it doesn't. No, but at the time you go up to have, oh, my God. In 68, 1968, yeah. Right, yeah. But right now, like, you invented a game.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I'm a tell. Oh, hi. Hi, I'm Dr. McTowell. Well, I'm from Dr. McTowell.

Hello, hello. I know that you love the game. I love the game. And it's, uh, it's called Catch 'em All You Can. Catch 'em All You Can, I love it, right?

Yeah, you see the game here's laid out for you. Yeah, so yeah, I love the figurines of black guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the white police office. Well, those are actually ice office.

Oh, these are ice offers, yeah. And there's the brown guy, too. Yes, he's working. A lot of great games. Catch you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they can never catch him, can they?

They can't. No, much faster. And the buildings that you have. Yeah, I love it. They hide in the buildings and this and that.

The buildings are all owned by those guys over there. Oh, the ones with that little funny hat on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they're in the sky for some reason. They're always up to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless clouds and they're in the sky. Unless they can't be in those buildings to something might happen. Exactly.

Right out of the eye, exactly. Yeah, anyway, I love the concept. Thank you. Catch me if you can. Yeah.

But anyway, so I'll give you, I will give you $1 every, and every game sold. Done. Really? Yes. $1 for every game.

That sounds incredible. Yeah, we're selling this in my garage. We're selling this for $100. $100 for the game for the game. Oh, we're charging $100.

You'll get $1. I'm just a humble man from Mansfield. I just, I think I'll take the deal. You'll take the deal. I will.

Okay. 30 years later. Broke, living in the building. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You got to go higher.

Well, you got to get a lawyer. You can get 25%. 50%. 50, they'll never do. 25?

25 will do. Yeah, 25 will take it.

“25% of every game you sell is I think fair.”

Well, you know what, we should invent something, and see if we can go to Pat and with it. I had an invention, you know, if I my wife had one today, we were on a hike, and she goes, oh, she had like a little sling backpack, the ones that you have, and there was a dude with an umbrella.

They're protecting from the aging guy. Son, they don't, you know, yeah, my people. And she thought, whenever you cool, if there was like a umbrella in this little like sling backpack, so you could use for the son or something, changes, and then folds back up into the backpack.

Okay, don't say that. Fuck, is that a good idea? Yeah, it's a good idea. Fuck, you don't, like, I know.

Can I give you one idea that I never, I thought of in high school.

We had in, like, economics class, they were like, invent something. Yeah, I played tennis like one time in high school. I never played in gym class, and then every time you hit it in the net, it bounces, right? It just will hit, stop and bounce, unless you're good, and you never hit the net.

But I thought, amateur's hit the net all the fucking time. How come it just stays there? Like, how come there's not a quarter pipe on each side of the net? So at least when it hits, it would roll back some of the way to you. In fact, you could invent a, you could invent, like, a wheeling system to kick it back to you a little bit more.

Yeah, but you stand there. Not at the net, you almost never are that close to the net. Yeah, but your toes are sometimes that. Almost never, you that close to the net, and also it would only be using amateur practice never for, like, play. I don't like that idea.

Because it's good. No, it's not good. It's very good. Because if you've ever played tennis, you're like, god, I gotta go. Yeah, I play tennis.

But it would help get it at halfway back to you. Okay, so it hits the net, and there's a curve. There's a quarter pipe on each side.

“Right, right, and I think, but a tennis ball bounces.”

But a lot of times it hits the net because of the give of the net, it holds it, right? So it would hold it, and then slide it right back down. We'll, how about this? I want to do it. Let's, let's try it.

I think, I think it's not going to work. I guess what we can, and now, and now. Well, yeah, you can engineering and physics wise. I don't think it's going to work. Right, right, back me up, let's test it.

Let's test it. Right, let's test it. Is how about this? We would toggle with the different, I have another idea for us, please. Yeah, I was in Chicago. And these are all copyright, and you can't steal these.

Yes, steal these, all right, yeah. Press the pizza. Yeah, wants to do a frozen pizza with us. Really? Yeah.

Eat for me. Eat for me. Wait a minute. Yeah. Like a bad friend's frozen pizza.

Yeah, with, in conjunction with the professor pizza. And what is the, what makes ours like unique different? What do we do with it? Oh, go gave me, oh. GMC stuff like that.

Phenomen. Yeah, and it's, you know, some of it's deep-ish. I think half and half. Half and half, right? And we do it on Goldbelly, start there.

Yeah, yeah. That's a, you know, can I pitch something? Yeah. I don't know how hard this is. He wants to do it.

I don't know how hard this is to do, but I've told you before. Deep-ish isn't what, we don't really eat that in Chicago.

I know, but we don't, what I'm saying is, and so you do. When you live there, you just, people don't eat it that much. It's just, we usually eat thin, thin crust, tavern style, which is square cut pizza. Detroit style.

Ooh, it's tavern style. Detroit style Chicago. Yeah, Detroit. It's ours. Anyway, tavern style.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tavern style.

And we never had something else to say about it.

And we never had something else to say about it. And we never had something else to say about it. And we never had something from a mile. He's from six miles. Okay.

I've been over there. Yeah. Mom's spaghetti. They don't make that on a mile. Okay.

That's only on six. I've been there. Okay. Let's move on from half of the pizza is tavern style thin, and half is deep-dish.

Okay. It's a monster mash-up. It's a monster match. It's like a Taco Bell KFC.

“Here's the problem with that, if I may. Sure. You put in the oven, how do you cook it?”

Well, once the deep-dish dough is going to be, you're going to be layer differently. It's, you could do that. Yeah, because by the time we come to the oven, the thin part is going to be black.

Oh, no. No. Andres part. Yeah, yeah, your part's going to be black and burnt. Check it out.

I mean, check it out. Yeah. You cooked that half separately, and you would join it with cheese. Oh. And you would join it with cheese.

What's the binding agent? Cheese. So they're half moons. I see what you're saying. So the frozen pizza comes to your house.

There's a side of sauce and cheese. Yep. Right. Yep. You put the whole thing in.

Correct. Right. Yep. You could get to a certain point. That's right.

Then you pull it back out. Then you add the sauce and the cheese, and some toppings on top of that part. At your leisure. At, I love that word.

I love the first thing of that word, right?

And you put it back in. Yep. That I can think. But we'd have to test it. Bad friends mash up.

We would. We would get in the KAA. But we'd have to eat something. But when I say something else. Yeah.

The tennis thing, bolt it. It's fucked. It doesn't work. I like it. Yeah.

I don't like it at all. I think the bad friends pizza I like. Bad friends pizza we can do. The monster mash up will do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he really said that.

“So let's something that maybe we can talk about.”

I'm down. I would love to do that actually. I do that. Yeah. Because every time I go there, I use pizza.

Yeah. Can I just say the tour with Carlos, there was no real hang up. Really? There was one thing and that's all. Wait a minute.

Time out before you play anything. Yeah, before you play anything. Yeah. What? What?

Give me your grievances. There was only one grievance. It was only a grievance. It. It was at the airport and you were being injured.

You would have been on my side. What happened? Um. A lady got in my head. No, no, no, no.

That's not what. Can I say? Well, I feel like you're not going to tell the truth. Oh. Let him finish.

It's his birthday. It's my husband's name. McCone. He's gone. Yeah, yeah.

So someone gets to pick up the birthday. All right. Right. So um, that could quite possibly be true what you're saying. Someone got in your way.

I did it. Yeah. But then you said excuse me. Yeah. They didn't say anything.

Yeah. And then you said what? Say it back. Say it back. You said that to him?

No, he said it to the lady that he said excuse me too. Oh, he's right. Yeah. Say it back. Yeah.

Are you kidding me? Say it back. You don't know that.

Then don't say, excuse me in the first place.

No, because it's a cordial to two people read them at foe. Who was that fault? She was in my way. But that's that's arguable. She was in your way while you're walking.

Yeah. She like did a cross like a 45. What was the ton? What? Here.

Let's hear excuse me. All right. So, all right. I'm walking. Let's hear it.

Yeah. Let's hear. Excuse me. It was fine. Excuse me.

Right. I'm like, what a mindful thought for you. Right? Regardless of who was that fault, right? That's a sweet, very traditional way of saying, I'm sorry, that's my bad or whatever.

Excuse me. Right. Then she didn't say anything. Right. And then what did you say?

Say it back. That's not how you said it. That's how I said it. That there's no way that. Say it as if she's walking away.

Go. Say it back. Yeah. That's how we said it. He's right.

Yeah. Say it back. Bullshit. I go. You're welcome.

You're welcome. That's how you would be mad at you on the road. Matt, you're on the road for that. You don't get to tell me what to do.

“You specifically, you know, that's what he does, right?”

Is a reflection on me. Unless she has no idea you're together because you could go, I don't know that weirdo. Someone goes, this fucking guy go, I know he's a piece of shit. Listen, I don't have any grievances. I thought that everything was actually perfect.

It was good. Me, it was good. And okay. So, yeah. He didn't invite any strangers in the dinner.

How was, do you got up on stage now? The 12 minutes? Oh yeah. How much did he get? Six minutes.

Six. But, I'm going to say this. Very good. Really? I thought for a guy that doesn't do stand up and stay on stage for six minutes.

And for that many people. It's a big deal. What do you want to make? Tony. What?

But, they knew I would be watching. Minneapolis, the Orphan. Yeah, the Orphan. We're going to get him on Kill Tony now. Yeah.

Now, you did open in which, all right.

So, I'm just going to say this. Can we see?

“No, before we even see In Chicago, the live nation rep walked up to me and goes, interesting.”

I go, why? We opened with Israel. Okay. Yeah. It's topical.

Yeah, I know. But, it was like, I said, that's where I got my hair done. Let me. Yeah. People, it was cheap.

Yeah. That's a joke. It's funny. Yeah, he's trying. He's, okay.

He has to swing. He's got a swing. Thank you. Do you want to play?

I want to see some of it.

Okay. For sure. I mean, we could watch a whole thing. I do like your black people, though. How, yeah.

They're different from the ones in Texas in California, though. I noticed. They're not all like Anthony Edwards.

“But Anthony Edwards is the ones I expect.”

There's more like the I am, the captain now. Wait, stop. Huge pop. Stop. That's awesome.

That's awesome. That's so good. Can I say it? No, hold on. Wait, let me play that again.

I'm telling you right now. That's so good. You guys added. You guys added last. Wait, I swear to God.

You did the fucker. Play it again. Let me hear it again. Wait. What do you mean added loud?

Dude, there's a added track. There's no way it's got to pop. Put it to the show. I was there. See where the dark business.

I'm standing in that darkness. Well, probably because he's ripping. Yeah. Let me see. Say it again.

Do it again. That's a good pop. If any one is just the ones I expect. There's more like the eye on the captain now. Dude, you ripped.

Did you get laughs that loud? No, no, no, dude.

He never got an applause break.

It sounded like you never got an applause break. - Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf, Pernf. - You're gonna say, yeah, you're gonna do it. - Look at you added it. (door slams)

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Streaming was also nice. - Hello, I want to. - Wound one. - Wound one. We're in the presence of a movie star.

The star of the new movie Little Brother with John Cena's here, him and John share the screen. - I saw the poster. - I watched the movie. - They said it to you. - I have it on my Netflix, I watched it. - Baby, I love to hear it. - Yeah, I know what.

- I'm never going to see it. Okay, we're in the dark.

- No, no. - We're in the dark. - I'm going to see it, I'm going to see it. - You promised me and Bobby almost did a comedy central show together. - Yeah, we did. - Oh my God, dude.

“- Back in the good old days. - What was that called?”

- I don't say anything, right? It was called the Bobby Lee Bonenza. - Wow. - Wow. - And he played, you played a sous chef. It was the predecessor to chef. - Yeah, what were you? - I was a very racist character of... - You played me.

- Like a sandbow. - Oh, sandbow. - Okay, Bobby? - Yeah, like an Al Jolson kind of thing. - Okay. - Yeah, it was. - Yeah, literally wasn't it. It was like a black guy. - You were my best friend. (laughing)

- All right, you were literally my best friend. - You're still my best friend. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's one of, there was no sandbow. - It was a bit, you know, it didn't age well. Let me put it that one. - It never got picked up.

- Give me one of the lines. - It never got picked up. - You know, one of the lines. - Hey, yeah. - You was, you shooshan balls.

Because my shoes were dirty.

- The shoes were dirty, the vents. - No, that was what, no, he was just like a regular guy. - Oh, who's ready, Bob? - No, that's one. That's not what it was. - And when we shot the pilot, we were having a bowl. - It was a good time.

- Yeah, no, he cast Donald Glover instead of me. - No, I didn't cast the Donald Glover. That's weren't around the campfire. - Smart move, yeah. - Before me, if you want it, you want a good career.

“This is, you're gonna cast Donald Glover.”

- Donald Glover, you know, there's a couple of things that you brought that up before, in front of me. Bobby, I'm trying to give you, I understand. - My audience needs context for our friendship. - When you look at me like that,

I feel like you're looking at me like to calm down. - No, go ahead. - Okay, you're very sweet to me in the beginning. You took me out the dinner at the farmer's market. - Yeah, and we used to go to,

you used to have those great parties. - He still has great parties. - Block party. - He's a big party guy. - I ain't making it a weird idea.

- Yeah, I know, but there was, there was a, there was a fucking, I understand that, but there was a 20 year on cap between parties. - Wait a minute, you took me to dinner. - When I was very young, he did do like a king.

- A king, right? - Didn't cast me in the show, but that's okay. - Okay, see, there's these little kind of, that's what it is with this guy. - Yeah, with this guy, he has, he's like a Korean.

- You're very Korean. - You have a little, you have a little, you have little resentments that build, because this business is hard, and it comes out in weird ways, right?

And this is the way it comes out with him, right? - He has another one, I'm still about to resent him. - Yeah, yeah, holding under seven, about how he's perceived this, which is fucking bullshit, that he auditioned for Matt TV, he didn't get it,

and he thought that I treated him differently after that he didn't get it. - Is that true? - No. - He would get a little Hollywood above.

- Is any of it not true? I don't know what he's talking about. - Let's just say, the text, the responses, they didn't come back. - Oh, but he, you don't text anybody.

- No, no, no, no, no. - There was, there was text were flowing. - I didn't get on season 14 of Matt TV. - No, it was the best season. - Best season a lot.

- It was the one thing, it was the year that there was. - Oh, good. - That was the year that we, it buried the show. - I think he can't, I think he can't.

“- I think he can't, that was the last season, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

- And that's God's work. - 'Cause he'll get your career now, yeah. - Right, so fucking you. (laughing) - It is true.

- Yeah, yeah. - It worked out for the better. (laughing) - He told me crazy stories back in the day. - Yeah, you can't say that.

- When is the, you told me, you're trying to quit drugs called turkey on the show. - Yes. - And it's weird fucking ooze started. - Yeah, I shit my pants.

- And when I play Connie Chung, yes. - And ours, yours was going damn, it smells like it. - Yeah. - So that is it's funny. - It's not funny.

- It's very funny. - Yeah, it's not. - To me, it's like, isn't that funny? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I know, it's something happened

where I was detoxing off a bike at in. - Right? - Oh, you were. - I can know what was your thing. - Yeah, yeah.

- It's an opioid hook, right? - Yeah, you don't wanna get it. - Two days before I did Connie Chung, right? The show, quit cold turkey. - Yeah, the show goes, you got to get off the drugs.

- Taper though. - No, I didn't know anything about it. So I, so on and out. - How old were you at the time? - Fuck, I was.

- 32. - Okay, so now I'm at TV, you get Matt TV, but you were, before Matt TV,

- She's the second season.

- You weren't on television before this. - I did commercials. But like you, and I had done, I had done, I had done, I had done Harlan Kumar. I think she's gonna say Harlan.

- So, Harlan Kumar. - So this was big for you.

- Yeah, it was pretty big. - So the pressure is immense. You're going down to LA, you're getting pills. - Yeah, yeah. - And you're having a good time.

- So where I got, where I got the, where I got the, where I got the, no, no, no, no.

There was a second city guy, right?

Who had everything? - He had, um, Viking in for horses. - Oh, Jesus, cry. - They were like these big blue, they were a big blue, a Viking in pills.

- Yeah, Viking in an Ivermectin, he had balls. - It was something, he was a specific, big blue pill. - See, this is a good story. - Right. That he would cause, because a lot of the cast members

were from Second City, he would give me these big, I would, I would, yeah, those were all my money on these big blue, Viking in pills. And he, um, he knew riders and cast members, right? - Oh, they were like, stop selling shit to Bobby.

- No, no, it was secret, right? So I would give them like three or four grand. That's why I ordered four grand.

“- Yeah, that's why I ordered you to fear beat me up”

because one time, I asked for four grand. 'Cause that, I was on a mad and I had no money left. - You asked, he beat you up because, - That's not what the context of that. - Are, are, are, the real content, yeah,

the riddle, imagine his like arms swing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he beat me up at the end of the day. - Is it that Hong Kong? - No. (laughing)

- Do you have any qualms with this, Mr. Andre? - No, we've actually got along. - Yeah, we've got along. (laughing) - It's been 30 years.

- There's no more. - No, you've actually got along with each other and we, we talked about how much we love taking this out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Because you seem to always have like a little thing

with me. - But wait, maybe it's you. - I don't think it's me. - You think it's him. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think with anyone else in the comedy community,

it's you get along with everybody. - Yeah, we're at that Netflix brunch. - Yeah. - Santina goes, you talk to everybody. There's people here, not everybody.

- You talk to everybody, you got something, I go, well, that's one guy here, you know, we're kind of roughly each other's face. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I talked to everybody too. - On that Netflix brunch.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's not what most people say. - I talked to Odin Kirk, I'll talk to him. - Do it, I talked to him. - Okay, you can name a few.

- Okay, I named a few. - F1 on. - So, I was very, so so so so so Paul sheer selling you the pills of the party. - Yeah, I was in Paul sheer.

- Why does art, I love you Paul?

“- Why did it already put, why did it already throw a punch at you?”

- Okay, this is all old news. - If it also has. - I love you guys, that'd be it, I guess on your show. And all we do, we spend the time talking about Bobby the whole time, it's like, oh, sorry.

- Talk about your movie, how was the movie? (laughing) - The movie started out it. - Yeah, the movie started out. - Nice, it's got like, I did one movie before.

- Pretty big. Netflix is, it's gonna be the top movie on Netflix. - Top movie on the top. - 100%. - He thinks so.

- Yeah, I'm flattered by that. - I hope so. - No, I hope so. - When you did it would be the scene at the golf course, naked, you had your cock out, huh?

- Yeah, they give you a little. - No, no, the Merkin. - They give you a little bag, but if, if, if, - I wanted you to be bot naked for that cause I knew. - I was.

- You were fun, yeah. - That's what I can. - You know, I try to keep it on. - Yeah. - But the thing, you know, with the water, it slips off.

- John, good guy, dude. - It's good guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's an ace. - He is an ace.

- Sweet guy, total pro, like. - Nice guy. - 100%

like shows up early, always prepared,

just like a total pro. Like WWE is actually, in my opinion, the greatest acting school you could ever go to. - Right, we've seen it work. - Well, the thing about it,

they have to have a monologue that they got that afternoon on the plane. They have to deliver something out of their mouth. That's five pages long in front of 40,000 people. - They can improvise.

- Yeah, but I mean, - It's not like, it's an Aaron Sorkin project, we have to do it word by word.

“- Yeah, but he said you have to get a larger point.”

- I mean, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm sure. - It's decisable. - Yeah, I'm just saying, what they have to do, they have to go to Dublin, you know, one night,

deliver a monologue, that's exposition about the next fight in Des Moines, that the audience isn't even connected to. And then another wrestler comes out and like, you know, they do John Wick stunts for like 45 minutes,

then they got to deliver more exposition. But it's like, if you could go through that for as many years as he went through it, a movie is like nothing, like an interviewist. - He has this bullshit.

- Yeah, he's like, dude, again, that's fine, yeah. I'm taking it again, fuck that. - Another take, not in front of 40,000. - I mean, that's what you, if you, you know what's so funny about that, when you want, when I watch the Hogan documentary,

it showed many reasons why he gained popularity, Hulk Hogan, but like one of them also was his delivery, his character delivery on those pops, whatever they called, like the promo pop, he was flawless. Like he wouldn't miss and they got it so tight, so good.

they did out takes on that, it was wild to watch, 'cause people get defeated, like if they fuck up, they're like fuck through it again, they would do it again, and you watched these guys like lose the character. And then they have to take some.

It was kind of powerful to watch, so the more people

that could stay in it, like what you're saying. - Yeah.

“- That's how they got, that's like, it was very,”

there's very few guys willing to get that jacked and do that much wrestling and stunt work. And also have to deliver pages and pages of dialogue, monologues, like in an instant. - And also committing to the character.

- And commit to the character. - And the story line, and in front of 50,000 people, yes, impossibly hard, so it's like, you only get one of those guys in generation. It's like, Hulk Hogan is like V-Guy for 10, 20 years.

And you get Dwayne, the Rock Johnson, for another 10, 20 years, then you get John, for another 20 years. - It's like the next, I don't know, Cody Rhodes? - Yeah, he seems like the guy. - Yeah, that's like the guy.

- I just did Street Fighter with him, he's the best guy. - That's the guy that everyone I think has pinned to be the guy. - He's the baddest dad, was Dusty Rhodes, and his brother's goal does. - Yeah, goal does.

- goal does. - And you know, it's like, just, last year I got to work with John all summer, and then I went to Australia

and did Street Fighter with Cody.

It's like, I love working with the rest of it. And I grew up, I grew up with Hulk Hogan, matcha man, junkyard dog, sheets on my bed. So it's like a total of two working with John. - Tongue the kid?

- Yeah. - This was shot in New York. - I don't know, Tongue the kid. - This is his favorite thing. - Yeah, sorry, this is New Jersey.

“- Can I bring up Tongue the kid this is New Jersey?”

- You don't know Tongue the kid? - This is before my time. - Okay. - Well, let me tell you something. - You're much older than me.

- We're on his land right now. - We're on the land. - We should do it. - We're on the land. We're on the land.

- Yeah. - We're on the land. - We're on the land. - We're on the land. - Okay, I don't feel comfortable.

- I don't feel comfortable. - I don't feel comfortable. - All right. - I don't feel comfortable. - At an AAPI panel.

- I'm Paul Leader. - I'm Paul Leader. - Paul Leader. - I don't know. - I haven't told my wife, but I'm Paul Leader.

- It's time to still alive. - I got it, I hope so. - Yeah, look at a lot of these guys are not alive. It's like, they're big guys. They did a lot of crazy steroids and drugs.

- He's alive, he's a dog, big fan, Sam Fattu. - You don't want to, I'm going to top golf tonight. - Why? - I'm Korean. - Yeah, oh, oh, I'm fully, I'm fully getting

plastic surgery to become Korean. - Yeah, I can't wait. - You see, most of us are turning Chinese. That's a new trend. - Yeah, I'm turning Chinese.

“- Yeah, I mean, what were you gonna say, and my wife?”

- Are you serious when you wanted to say, you texted me, you got you went to go and tour together? - Yeah, that's fucking serious. - Do it. - I love you, man.

- I don't do a show. - You gave me one of the best pieces of advice one time you said. Make them laugh before your first joke on your walk to the stage. You gave me that advice very young and I was like, that's the fucking best because it shakes off the jitters

so that that first, like, taking the mic out of the stand and all that shit is an awkward.

So I always, I'll sneak up behind the audience

and do a bunch of fucking goofiest anti-cuffment shit. - Yeah, yeah, I love you, no. - It's smart because then once you do start talking, they don't laugh, but yeah, very good. - Well, here's another note.

- I don't know, so I want to steal your material. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, on tour. - Yeah, do it. - I'll do yours.

- Honestly, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We should do. - Oh, yeah, I don't know what we're doing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I gave you full permission to do, yeah, yeah.

- I don't know. - I don't know, what am I? - Yeah, here's another thing that I have. - There's a difference between writing, funny and being funny. - Mm-hmm.

- Do you understand what I mean? - No, yeah. - So a lot of new comics will just memorize whatever they will. - Well, like, hey, girl. - Yeah.

- Hi, yeah. - Hi, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Shut the fuck up. I'm not gay.

- Some people are funny, so people write. (laughing) - Okay, dude. - Spill that tea, girl. - Try to let us go off, Queen.

- Yeah, yeah. - I really want to show what I mean. - You want your belly back. - No. - I know you're trying to do the cool male thing.

You're probably doing peptides. - He's getting jacked. - Don't please, don't. - Remember, I'll show you. - So with that pop belly,

when you really had the dad bod. - Yeah, yeah. - Before you told a joke, I was laughing. - Okay. - 'Cause you look like human comedy.

(laughing) - Why are, and this bad friend's circular thing, why is it a cartoon of you with a Chicano community leader? (laughing) - That's Paul Rodriguez.

- That's a young thing. - Yeah, I replaced Paul, you didn't know that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta. - Bad friends was really with him in Paul.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I look like a cheat man in you too. - Yeah. (laughing)

- Yeah, yeah.

- But why do I look like Salvador Dolly in this one? (laughing) - You have a Dolly style. - You think I have a Dolly style? - You have a very Dolly bite.

- Yeah, like when you guys popped up on a happy Gilmore, that'll be me. - Oh, that's cool. You know what, I'll be honest with you. - Dude, trust.

- As a comic, I have to say. - It was awesome. - I think you're very funny. - You're just, you have my, - I think we're similar.

- The other day when-- - You're gonna come by the house and-- - Behind me, what does-- - I see you in years.

“- And you came up with a pretty high meat.”

Took my shirt and wrapped over my head. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And I see you in years, but that's my kind of energy.

- I know. - But you have very shy. - What? - You got shy. - I got shy.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm more corporate. (laughing) I'm more corporate and I watch what I say. - Okay. - So corporate.

- Incorporate. - Incorporate.

- Yeah, I've never done a corporate gig.

I've never done one. - I've never once asked, been asked. - Yeah. - When I hear comics like, I do a corporate gig once and yada yada yada, I'm like, how?

How did that happen? - Not once. - Not me either. - Never. - Never.

- Why would single corporation look at us and ask us this? - But here's another reason we're called Chaloo. (laughing) - A compliment.

Is you've always, even if-- - It's like, as a youngster, right? He's always been, you've always been fashionable. - You think so? - Oh yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, I've always thought to myself, Eric Andre is fashionable. - Have you ever said it?

“- I never said it to you, but I always felt it like your cool.”

- Thanks man. - Yeah, dress-wise. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You want me to leave you too?

- I don't couldn't care less. (laughing) - He doesn't care, no, no, no, no, no. - He doesn't care. - We were going to do a movie together.

- Yeah, well, what happened? - We're going to do something together one day. - We were going to do a movie. - Yeah, yeah, what happened? - We went by the wayside.

- You got a little sunburn. - Did I did? - Yeah. - Today, really? Is it my face?

- You got a little fuck. - You got a little color? - You got golf, it's a little real. - No, you got it. - No.

- You got to do the SPF, dude, you're going to kill yourself. - I'm doing SPF, bud. - Yeah. - I'm doing it every time. - I'm not joking.

- Look, I know you're losing. - I know you're losing. - I know you're losing. - I hope you're getting molds checked and all that's-- - I'm getting it checked.

I got I already got two of my right.

- I know you're always about golfing

and you're not your careless. - Is that a good talking thing? - I want to use it. - Is that a good love blue lizard? - Okay, it's a good talking thing.

- You take it and it's weird. (laughing) - You either like blue lizard. - Do you use facial creams at night? - No.

- No. - When I was in Korea, yeah. - All my platonic golf pals were like going every store and by me, every little thing. - Yeah.

- And I came back, it looked like I was like smuggling motions in two. - Yeah, you do have the best shit. - And um, what? - There's an up beautiful people. (laughing)

- There's a new Korean-- - What do you think? - I don't know where it is, that's why. There's a new Korean store that just opened for those sage products, right?

It was like a two mile line. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - And they're using like snail. - Yeah, yeah.

- You look at a new Korean, two mile, yeah. - Yeah, this is a real, this is a real pitch and you're gonna think I'm joking. - Yeah. - And I know, how good is your Korean?

“- But it's called all of young, that's what it's called,”

all of young. - Can you speak-- - Now how go Melchokame on? - Fluently. Why don't we pitch a super duper low budget, wacky comedy show

to Korean television? - And speak only in Korean. - Yeah, I can play the dumb American and you give me like-- - Yeah, I literally, you probably know more Korean than I do.

(laughing) - That's how little I know. - I love it. - Yeah, on you I say, oh, I know. - I know Duru set, net, that's all I can count to.

- No, he can-- - That's four. - No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now how come, yeah, I can say, go to, I can say, a certain thing, Hakeyo is a hot school.

(laughing) - I get Donald Rawlings, I don't know how many is that? - No, I know. Fluent Korean, and I-- - Now he's done my part, he knows more than I do.

- Well, 'cause he-- - I don't know hate me. - It's mind-blowing, he hates you. - Yeah, yeah. - Since when?

- He just has a, he has a little thing with me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You asked Donald Rawlings. - So, anyway, all of young is a mile long.

I wanna go in there. - Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. - Where is it? - Is all of young?

- Pasadena. - So, there's a, there's a long, like, - Let me tell you, let's say I'm Bobby Lee and-- - Temporarily closed, all right, is it? - You can call and say I'm Bobby Lee

and look at you the phone. - No, yeah, they'll get you in there, Bob. - Yeah, yeah. Look on the, is it closed? Is that true?

- That's not a century city. - Oh, essentially. - You know, I thought that was your mom the whole time that really took me out. This is why I don't like this chair that much,

'cause I can't, first of all, come on.

- No, no, no, we have to. - That's crazy. - We have to go the second, no, it's for the second of the show. - Jack blocks out there. - Jack blocks out there.

- Those chairs have been set in by legends. (laughs) - Murl Haggard.

- Morts all. - Morts all. - Yeah. - Shecky Green. - That's not true.

- All right, all of them.

>> There's no red skeleton. Red skeleton. Red skeleton. Red skeleton. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Red skeleton. >> Yeah, yeah.

“>> Flip Wilson. We've had black. >> Did you do this cat skill?”

>> We've had black. >> We've had some black. >> Yeah, from the 6th. >> Have you had blacks? >> Yeah, yeah. >> Do the blacks go crazy when they're in here. >> Blacks love this show. >> We love it. >> Do the blacks just go blacks love this show, baby. >> Your laugh is demonic. >> Love hogs. >> Yeah, yeah, the blacks go hog. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> So can we tell us about the movie?

>> Okay, so the movie I play, I play scene as little brother.

>> Okay. >> So he like did like a, you know, a genetic testing.

>> No, no, no, it's not, it's not, what is that? Junior twins. >> So that's 23 in me, it was like, oh my god, okay. >> Not biological, so he like 30 years ago when he was in high school and I was 10, he did like a program. >> The big brother. >> Oh, I like it. >> He like adopted me for a few weekends and it was,

he just did it for like, look good on his resume for college. >> Right. >> But for me, you know, there's a band. >> Live altering. >> You know, yeah. >> 10 year old, it was live altering. >> Yeah. >> Then I get this horrible car accident. He gets a call from the hospital, like, oh, your brother's in the hospital.

He has a biological brother. So he's like shit, so he runs to the hospital with his wife. He opens a curtain and it's me, he hasn't seen me since I was 10, so it's just me. I'm all fucked up, I'm in the medical halo, I'm a blood coming on my mouth.

“>> Yeah. >> And they're like, who the fuck is this?”

And then like, holy shit, I think that's my little brother from the program that I did. But I haven't seen this guy in 30 years, I only hang out with him for a few weeks. >> Do you weekends when we were kids? >> Yeah. >> And then I slowly, it's like a what about Bob meets the movie parasite. I slowly, like, like, the wife kind of starts, you know,

she's enchanted by me. >> Right, right. >> Kids love me, his brother loves me. Everyone, and I work loves me, he's trying to be a real estate agent on this reality TV show. And he almost gets kicked off the show, but they love me so much. They want not only him back, but they want it. So I like drive him nuts though. >> I love, that's it.

>> I won't be able to watch it, so that's, you know, that's a great premise.

“>> This movie is on Netflix, go watch the little brother.”

>> The watch is on the very first episode of the bad game show.

>> Yes. >> We're at so number one. >> We're at number one. >> That's the number one. >> All right, we got to, we got to go. >> He looked in the camera and say, thank you for being of that friend. >> Yeah, please. >> Thank you for being of that friend.

>> Yes. [MUSIC] >> Meditian yoga joggen, not so much fun. >> Really? >> I'm really excited about my story, total.

>> Steuere, how do you feel? >> The Steuere key home? >> Yeah, I've got a lot of comments about 1000 euros. >> Ha, you have a connection. >> No, no, they're so stuffy.

>> Wow. And that's just a bit. >> Sure, they'll make everything automatic. >> It's so exciting for me. >> Go back to your money, and take a lot of fun with how much Steuere.