Josh Groban

Now, that's the right attitude.

That is. Let me go to an owner. No, it's not. But giddy is appropriate. It's a giddy honor.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend sitting here with Sonom Obsessian, Matt Gorylee. Hi. And I are just back from Morocco. Oh, that's funny.

I didn't see you guys there. Oh, really? Were you there? Yeah. Much better on my own.

Yeah. Lighting around. Yeah. That makes sense. No, we were shooting an episode of the travel series, Colonel Brian Misco.

And we, Sonom, you were kind enough to come with me because actually something came up on

this podcast, you expressed a desire to get a certain product or certain argon oil.

And so I decided, I'm going to get you that argon oil by taking you to Morocco. Yeah.

“Is it a spoiler to say if you've got where you can't say anything?”

We can't say anything. Oh. What we can tell you. We're going to tune in for that. Yeah.

It was like the arc of the covenant. I mean, you could probably get this pretty. It's very readily available there. Apparently, it's also readily available here. You got scams.

I got scams. We, as we were in the market, hunting down the argon oil, so much said, you know, yeah. You can get this on Amazon and it will come from the same store that you found. But anyway, that ruins the magic of travel. So, but we had, well, tell me what you thought, Sonom.

Oh, I had so much fun. I had, you know, I used to travel and you do the travel shows and I forgot how it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work.

You guys seem a little tired. Are you tired? I woke up at 230 this morning. I didn't get back to sleep because I was east for a while for other things. So, I was on that time and then we went to Morocco.

Yeah. And so, I haven't been on LA time in quite a while. Yeah. I was waking up at like three in the morning and like cleaning out cupboards. Yeah.

I'll do, when I wake up and it's pitch black outside and I know I'm up.

I just start doing tasks that I would never do otherwise.

Yeah. Like I'll build a urinal. You know? First off, fire the porcelain.

“I mean, I'll do all these crazy things because I think you have that, you're”

revving. You want to be useful. You want to get something done. So, yeah. I've been actually mostly what I've been doing is organizing things that I haven't

organized in a long time. Mm-hmm. I mean, just, and my wife was away. So I was alone. It's me the dogs and the cats and they just, they hear me in the garage banging away.

Oh my God. Yeah. I'm not productive. I'm not productive. I just want to use the clips of shows I like and I just scroll on my phone in the

bed. It's nice. It's called Doom Scrolling. It's not Doom because my algorithm's really fun. So it's like.

What's your algorithm? My algorithm's a lot of, uh, just silly, it's like, you know, silly humor. It's a lot of really funny stuff. It's, I don't know how to describe it.

And then everyone's in a while, it's like, takes me to a really dark kind of place on Instagram and then... Like, what? I don't know. There's just like...

Like, what's dark for you? I can't. I don't know.

“Sometimes, I'm just like, how did this end up here?”

I can't. I can't think of that. This would be a really good example if you had an example. It would be so good if I had an example. It'd be like street fights.

That kind of thing. I just get a lot of fights. I do get a lot of fights. I do get a lot of fights. A lot of brawls and fights.

And I love that. That's your love language. I love them. I know. And they make me, um, they fire me up.

Like, they get me really intense. Like, I don't know if you guys get that same, nope, nope, just me. Okay. You like watching fights. I love it.

Sometimes, I revisit... I saw a clip recently. I've been going around. It's been going around, which is sort of, and, uh, tangential to this. But this clip's been going around that they unveiled this robot, and the robot comes out.

It's one of these really impressive, you know, latest model robots. It's coming out. It's doing all these cool moves and spinning and stuff like that. And all these families are around watching it, like, applauding. And then it spins around, and it kicks this little kid really hard in the stomach.

And the kid doubles over and then kind of collapses. And I think the kid's okay. I hope the kid's okay. Is it real? Yeah.

It's real. I think I'm pretty sure it's real. And then the robot sort of stands up, and then just starts to step back, retreat.

Is it possible it feels shame?

And I was because I'm a human, I was reading in all that robot just must feel so much shame right now. And then I realized it doesn't know it doesn't, there's no way the robot's like that's dark down on the street fights. I know.

But we don't want to see this. Does it feel shame? Robot kicks boy in the stomach? Okay. Well, yeah.

Oh, I don't really see this. No, yeah.

“And I think the kid might have need of kicking.”

I don't want to bum people out, but I think it's okay. I know it's not, it's not funny, right? Oh, huh. Yes. Look, so the, here's the guy, he's like, ha, ha, ha, uh, boy.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Oh, no, that's awful. Okay. And look at the robot.

It's like, oh, no, I must destroy, to say oneself. Yeah. Oh, my God. So anyway. Oh, my God.

Now is standing at a little too far.

What's that? That's the kid's. Yeah. Yes. Well, you said he had a comment.

You're victim blaming. Yeah. You guys algorithms turning you guys into monsters. I, um. Yeah.

I said to go robot. That was my comment that I wrote in. Oh, no. You shouldn't be standing. Do you remember when we were, I don't know.

We should mention this. When we were in Armenia. Probably not. There was a guy doing donuts. Yes.

And there was a perimeter of people out here. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're in Yerevan. Yes. Capital of Armenia. We're there for five minutes when we hear all this noise and excitement when we go

to this big square, where all these people are packed around watching.

And there's a guy in the middle who's accelerating really fast in a car doing donuts.

And everyone's just, it doesn't seem like an official performance. I think a guy was just doing donuts and everyone came to watch the guy do donuts. It's just one o'clock and it's time for donuts. And everyone's, but there's no barrier between the people and the car. And the guy doesn't really, he's not a professional.

He's always doing. No. And then at one point he swings around and I think he hit a bunch of people. He hit people. I think they were okay.

Yeah. And I don't think people, you know, here everyone would be like, okay, get everyone's number and everyone's going to sue everyone.

“They're just like, "Ah, that's what happens."”

Shake it off. We're good. Get back around the perimeter. Yeah. Get back to donuts.

Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah. It didn't make the show that we were shooting. But it was...

Oh no. No. You didn't know if it was that? We are opening with the robot kicking the Chinese boy. I'm going to put that to top of the show.

Well, what was your reaction to that? I mean, I don't know. Well, I saw that thing that got sent to me. Instagram thought, "Cone is going to love a Chinese robot kicking a kid in the stomach." Which I don't endorse.

But now that you probably watched it more than once, it's going to think that's what you want is robots kicking kids. Yeah. Well, I guess I'll just have to... I made my bed and I have to lie in it.

Oh, my God. Great of all my feet was robots attacking children. I'm sure you're not allowed to. I said it out loud. It probably will be.

All right then.

“I'll write you that and remember that one.”

That was a big thing. I'll write you that. Yeah. Cool. I'm just trying to...

30 years ago. It was over 70 years ago. Yeah. I just looked at it. I'll just get into it.

Okay. You're not Chris with any of the signs. Okay, yeah. You're like, "Well, anyway." So that's a head intro and go.

Well, anyway, right, Sonna? I guess I thought one. Right, Sonna? I guess today is a story. I think it's coming up real soon.

It's coming up real soon. Because it's going to be taken away if we don't end it up ourselves. If we can't use this responsibly. Yeah. They're going to take it exactly.

And intro. Thanks, Sonna. My guest today is a Tony Emmy and Grammy nominated singer songwriter. His new album, Cinematic, is attribute to the silver screen. And it's out now.

I am so happy he's here today. He's a funny, lovely fellow. Josh Grobin. Welcome. Josh, I am so thrilled you're here.

We have had a connection over the years because as a very young man, you came on my late night show. And I thought this kid is very talented, but also really funny. Oh, man. And you're sweet.

And I thought I don't think he's going to make it. But wouldn't it be nice if he did? And I think I said that to you. It's what you led with. Yeah.

My next guest probably won't make it. You really liked to keep me on edge. I was nervous already. You've had this brilliant career. And you remain a really nice person.

And a really funny person, which leads me to my next topic of discussion. Which is not long ago. I was tasked with hosting the Oscars. And I remember we had this idea. There needed to be someone who could sing this.

You know, sing my tribute. And immediately, I think two of us at the same time said, wouldn't it be great if Josh Grobin would do it?

Oh, my God. Josh Grobin. If he doesn't do it, I don't know that we can do this piece. Because that's the best person to do it. And I know that whoever, if you weren't available,

because I knew that you were touring. Oh, second choice. Okay. This is not going to make you happy. But it was comedian Patton Oswald.

Yeah. Yeah. No, apparently he's at a terrible voice. I'm imagining him in the night here. Right now.

There was, there was no second choice. There was no second choice. And I know that if we'd found someone, I'd have been mad the whole time that it wasn't you. And probably tank the piece.

So we reached out to you. We found out that you might be amenable. We should have a conversation. And next thing, you know, I'm on a zoom with you. And you're in Tokyo.

I wasn't Tokyo. Yeah. There was no cooler experience in being in Tokyo first of all to begin with. And then having a zoom with you about doing this bit.

Nothing will top this. Well, here's the weird thing too.

“I thought, remember, we got on the zoom.”

Yeah. And I said, you must be on tour. And Josh said, no. They have the best sex toys here. That's right.

Yeah. And this is where I like to shop from my sex toys. And then for 20 minutes. Yeah. You were showing me.

I went back. I had two, I had two Trader Joe's bags full of, of, of, of, dildo. My God, suction cups and tassels. No, no, no, let me continue.

[LAUGHTER] No, it was, it was really, it liked tourism for me. Yeah. The thing is, no one builds shit like the Japanese. True.

But you kept turning them on. Yeah. Yeah. And one of them had a song similar to the one you wanted me to sing. [LAUGHTER]

So I kind of said, you know, like this. [LAUGHTER] But anyway, we had this. So the next thing you know, we're rehearsing. You're, you killed it.

We do it at the Oscars. You were great.

“And then here's a weird thing about show business.”

You killed it. And people really liked the piece. And people were so happy that suddenly you're there. I love anyone who's legitimizing a completely illegitimate piece of comedy. So the fact that you were part of it with your amazing voice,

but you're singing these incredibly stupid lyrics about how I'm the greatest ever. And it's over. But from my perspective, I'm on top of a mountain holding onto a fake falcon and being pulled off the stage. And I wave to you and you kind of wave back and you go left.

And I go right. And then I'm into the show.

And I never see you again.

I know. And it's weird because I know that if I've been watching that, I'd think, oh, cool. Now, Conan and Josh Greben get to hang out backstage and trade old voices.

Go to a lounge. Go to a lounge. No. I don't see you anymore. Yeah.

So much of TV is bits over. And then you're off to Belgium to do a concert. And, you know, I'm off. I don't know where I go. But just sleep for a week.

I did. I knew though going into it that I mean, if I could see you even for a second, that would be great.

“Because your responsibilities on it, like that, leading up to it.”

And then on the night. Right. And you make it look easy. I mean, it really was. I was happy that this was scheduled on the calendar so we could catch up.

Yes. Yeah. The only reason is having you. The only reason.

And first of all, this will never, no one will ever hear this.

There's no tape in the machine. He said the idiot who fundamentally didn't understand how things work. But it is really nice to get to talk to you. Same. And I was left to the wave.

Yeah. And I was listening to the album you did, cinematic. And it's all these different amazing movie songs. Songs from great movies. And I was listening to using the Godfather theme.

And it has lyrics in Sicilian. That's right. And I didn't realize that the Godfather had lyrics. The Godfather theme. Me neither.

And I was like, this is amazing. Mm-hmm. And I translated the lyrics. I used I translate. And it's just going over the plot of the Godfather.

That's right. It was before the Godfather came out. No, no. It came out at the same time as the Godfather. No.

But the lyrics are not imagined. They sound such a beautiful song. But all the lyrics are. You shouldn't let your wife and Italy start the car. She will blow up and her body will go real far.

Never sit with your back to a window.

Yes. Yes. No, no. Enjoy the clams. Enjoy the clams.

Incredible. Just really, really getting into the nitty grid. Really it is. There's going to be a sequel. And you'll see.

It's pretty good. Watch number one and two. But three, maybe. Well, it's understood. Three, so must I.

Three, so must I. Yeah. I go up for that one. Yeah. But I was listening to it.

And just unshamed melody. Oh, yeah. There's a bunch of songs there.

Oh, thanks. It's fantastic. Thank you. So I was listening to all these. And I was thinking.

“First of all, the musicians you have behind you.”

It's the same 90, 90-paces 90 players in London at air studios. And singing it in the room with them is like nothing else. There's so much about my job that is just isolated. You're in a hotel room. You're in a dressing room.

You're in front of a microphone. To be in the room with them playing is like walking on a cloud. It's because, you know, if you mess up, they have to start again. If they mess up, you start again.

And it's just an incredible experience to sing these melodies with them.

And the Sicilian came because I, I was, I rehearsed it. There's an English language version and Italian language and a Sicilian version. And you flew it in Italian? No. I learned these languages as a singer because I grew up learning these art songs.

And I would, I would sing in French and Italian and Spanish. I don't speak the language fluently. But I, but I learned them as I'm, of course, when I'm singing them. But I sent in a demo of the Italian version to Copila and the team. He would being honored for the AFI lifetime.

And she meant he was going to do it for that. Yeah. And I sent in a demo and I was really nervous and I worked like for two weeks on it. And then they sent me back a note saying like, I don't know, Mr. Copila would like it in Sicilian. And so that is when I realized that there was such a thing looked it up. There was.

And yeah, you learned something new every day. It was beautiful though. Do you ever think ever for a second, you know, having your Asian call and go, yeah, that's not happening. Copila. Do you know what I mean? Because I, I sent that response back all the time.

But it's about much smaller things. Oh, okay. Yeah, I can cone and be there for the kids birthday party at three. And I'll say, no, I can be there at three, 15. But I want my $200 up front just to throw your weight around. Yeah.

Oh, you want Sicilian? Now you get gibberish. That's what you get. Because what's really the deal for you? Yeah, yeah, what are you going to say? No, well, I'm sorry.

“I think all four languages are just gibbary.”

No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I thought everyone spoke American. Oh, my God. It's okay.

I thought we were recording this. No, we're, uh, we're good.

I'm pretty sure America was the first language.

Oh, boy. And then everyone lost their way. Oh, goodness. So I want to talk about your origin story because it really fascinates me. When you're a kid, you obviously, you're like singing in your room.

I think you're aware that you have this thing you can do, but you probably don't know what it's value is or it's merit. Yeah. And then you're 13 years old and you're in a choir. Yes.

And I want, do I have this right? The choir teachers like, uh, you in the back. Exactly right. Uh, why don't you come forward. I want to hear you a little better.

What? What he did was he's, which all great teachers do is he recognized that there was a student in his choir who really needed the push. I was not, I mean, I'm a ham on stage, but I'm like the most introvert on stage.

“And when I was a kid, I was really introverted.”

I had a really hard time making friends. My grades weren't great. I had 80 D and didn't even know about it. So like I was a little bit lost. And I was in the back of the class and I was in the back of the choir.

And I loved being part of it. But he heard the A that there was a little bit of a talent there. I was, by the way, 13 years old, my voice still hadn't changed. So there was a talent there. But it was very, it was very high.

Yeah. So it was a real gamble for him to say I'm going to put this kid in the front. And I'm going to give him a song. And he gave me the song's wonderful George Gershwin song. It's wonderful.

It's wonderful. Wonderful. And I sang it with all my might because it was an assignment.

He knew that if he didn't give it to me as a class thing that I would never do it for myself.

Right. So in pushing me to the front, he gifted me with a moment that, even if I hadn't gone into it professionally, a moment that changed my, my growth forever. You know, the kids, like the next day were like, "Well, man, that was, even the bully was like, bro."

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's still beat you. Oh, yeah. I'm going to teach you before hand to compliment you on your incredible range.

Voice of an angel. Now get in that locker. Yeah. Can you do it? Wow.

Can you do it yourself? I like this bully who just phones it in. Get in that locker. Well, that's basically. You pull your own underwear up so that it rides into your crack.

Thanks a lot. What are you doing? It means they had to do it in person back then. Yeah. It's also anonymous online.

Yeah. I didn't like it, but I respected it. You know, bully's today's Zoom people. Oh, they just found it. Oh, yeah.

What's up? Thanks for taking that. Yeah. Can you stick your face in a year or not? Yes, sir.

I love stories where people figure it out. They're capturing the teacher. Like, okay. Let's music teacher. Okay.

Yeah. You next. What is it? Jay Grobin, judge. Josh.

Let's hear it. No.

They're glasses shattered.

What is this damn name anyway? Yeah. It was. Yeah. Okay.

Pavorotti. Let's hear this guy. I got to get to lunch. His name is actually his name is Richard Barrett. And I invite him to every concert that I do.

Well, because still make him pay. I still. That's a trick I like to do. My old comedy teacher. It's $700 for that seat.

I'd like to offer you the opportunity to buy tickets to my new show. No, he was not that guy.

He was super, you know, excited to teach and still teaches.

And, you know, not only did he pull me up from the back, but he knew that I like to play piano. He knew that I was kind of gravitating towards the drum set in the back. He's like, I'm going to leave the music room open.

“So just whenever you need to go in, have an escape.”

Get in there. And, you know, it having access to all that just changed. Absolutely everything for me. Do you have perfect pitch? Can you identify a note?

Not I don't have perfect. I can play by ear. If I listen to something, I can sit down at the piano and figure it out. I actually can't read music. Everything that I've learned how to play.

No, it's true. That's the only reason you're here. What the hell? I had him. Our lesson's going to be really disappointing.

I pushed the button and you're injecting out of the large mon office. You land in a parked car. I've finished you down for a nose bag. Oh, man.

“Well, the good news is I can get a great lock screen.”

You land fracturing your pelvis, but immediately order Schmier on a poppy seed. That's what I said Schmier said. You come out with pickles cone, huh? Yeah, you know. You probably found out you couldn't read music.

And I ejected him. Oh, man. So you start singing. And then you have this moment. Another pivotal moment is you're 17.

Someone introduces you to David Foster. Famous producer, arranger. And he asks you to do this thing at the Grammys. It's like you were okay. It was so close together.

Like that the shy 13 year old whose voice was on the brink of changing was 13. And then the call came in when I was 16. Right. So the time period between absolutely having no clue, wearing this coat was so big on me. And getting this call to be part of something that was.

It was something a big a big thing at the Grammys. David had heard me sing it a charity event that he asked me to do. Plucked out a high school. I sang a song from fan of the opera. It was like the biggest day in my life.

But I went back to class. I didn't think anything else would come from it. So when he called me and he said, I'm at the Grammys. I've written this song. on and on drab-o-chelle and bochelle is stuck on a tarmac in Germany. He can't be here

in time for the rehearsals. Would you step in and would you sing this for Selene with Selene until he shows up? Do you buy? Do you buy now? That's just insane. I mean really, 16 years old, I did not have stars in my eyes to be a solo artist. I was like, I wanted to go to theater camp.

“I wanted to be, I wanted to worship the throne of Sondheim and I wanted to like, that's what I”

wanted to do. So the idea of like like the music business, being a singer with those kinds of people, I was only thinking, can I do this well or not? And even though I was the hugeest fan of Selene, I said to him, I don't think I'm the right person for this gig. I was so insecure and on drab-o-chelle is like one of the great tenors of all time and I was very much like living in my baritone world. I was not singing those very high notes. So I said, I think you can do better. I said, thank you so

much for asking me. I'm really honored, but I think you can do better. And my mom's yelled at me from downstairs. Of course it's still living at home and she said, who is that? I said, oh, oh, what did he want? Well, it's this Grammy rehearsal as it happens. And Selene Dion is there and Bocelli isn't, cast me to come and sing and what did you say? I said, well, obviously, I said, I'm probably not the right person for the job and they kind of went, oh, all right, well, all right then. And I could tell

they were disappointed. David Foster called me back and he said, I don't think you understood me. Get your ass to the shrine of Toy and Threat. Nobody had turned him down before. So he said, get over here. He barely gave me a pass. My dad shows up with me at the side door. Securities like, who are you? I said, I'm here to sing with Selene Dion. Yeah. Hi, I'm 17. Yeah, I'm 17. Yeah, this is my dad. Yeah. And yeah, we're here for Selene Dion, which way to the microphone. And, you know, and like

security guard had to like walk you talking. Another guy with a walk you talk you who, you know,

and so on and so far and it against finally, Kendra like who produced the Grammys came out and grabbed me.

And, you know, it was just I was so new to it that it was such another world. I didn't really permeate how important that moment was to be for me. Sure. I just wanted to do a good job. I didn't want to embarrass myself. Selene, of course, came out and then I realized how real it was. But the thing about Selene in that moment was she knew that David Foster was doing a thing. That this wasn't just a job. He knew because she'd been there at my age that David was

actually providing a door and an opportunity to prove myself and that it was a lesson and that

like, oh, oh, got it. Josh so nice to meet you, kiss kiss. It could see I was nervous and she made

“her sound check about making me comfortable. She grabbed my hands. She's like, we're going to do this”

and when you look at me and you have the Italian, then I'll sing the English. We got this. Just look at the prompt here and look at the, you know, she was like, pep talking me out there. And I know now that I've done a lot of sound checks for TV shows. I know how precious those, I mean, you know,

from just doing, you always get much less, I'm sure. Such little term allowances for Selene Deon.

But I noticed that, you know, it's quick. Yeah. If you're doing the Oscars, the, and it's only appropriate, like Barbara Streisand, all the rehearsal time she needs. And then I'll say, I've got a thing right, I catch a fake giant bird on a mountain with Josh grobbin. They're like, you've got eight seconds. Yeah, that's lunch. You have eight seconds to get it right and then get out of here. Who are you? A host got it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's quick. And so now that I know, like,

that, and that was a big song that she was about to sing really hard and that was a big moment. It was nominated for a Grammy and Oscar. So the fact that she took her precious time when many super stars at that time would have looked at me as like stand in singer. All right, do the best

you can. That's good to read. You know, I might not have decided that this business was for me.

Had she been me. Even though you were for rehearsal only. Yeah. Yeah. And so. Well, Kendra like said to me after I rehearsed, you know, we're still looking to see if Bochelle can make his flight. So by go buy a suit in this lunch break, go buy a suit on there. I mean, this is this feels so old time. Like this feels so like the old bit now, you can tick talk yourself and get yourself on, you know, you can find an audience. Right. But that idea of like, you know, the kid, the kid did okay.

Go down to Men's Warehouse. There's one down the street and you know, I've got a tailor. Here's the name and you know, it's it was like, like, got us get a suit. I looked at my dentist. I'm not like, I'm not, I can't do this on camera. Like, this is not, I'm not ready for this. Thankfully, Bochelle showed up. I got to meet him. He wound up doing the song. And I got to have a really good story. Did you get to tell Bochelle? Hey, you were okay. I thought I nailed it. I was,

because he's notoriously bad singer. Yeah. No, I was just, I was so grateful that he was going to

finally go out there and nail it. My dad did have a camcorder video of it. And, you know, now,

of course, you know, the filming a soundtrack for something like the Grammys of the Oscars, it's just absolutely no no. And, and Celine saw that he was filming in the security said, you can't do that. And she said, no, no, let him let him film that song. Oh, that was, you know, it just was, she was the absolute best that day. And, you know, but, but then 10 years later, I got to sing that song on the Grammys with Bochelle. So we had like a kind of a full circle.

And I've sung it with Celine a few times since then. So it was just, it's wild how those things

“do you remember your 16 year old get a suit moment? Well, mine came later. Mine came when I was 48.”

Still involved a suit. No, I do remember. I mean, the story I have that kind of lines up a little bit with that was obviously I had these other, all these other adventures beforehand. But when I, you know, living out here in L.A. and getting a chance to audition to possibly be considered to be a late night host replacing David Letterman, which seemed insane. But they said show up in Burbank at this time. And I didn't have anything to wear. So Lisa Cudro, who's, you know, my best friend

at the time, she said, hey, let's, I'll take care of this and she took me to Fred Seagull and picked out a, the worst coat. And I'm sorry, Lisa. And we've talked about this before, but I'm a very pale person. I know now that I need to wear blue. She was like, oh, this looks good. And it was this linen floppy jacket that was very, like almost pure white, maybe a little off-white. And so I put it in the back of my tourists and some transmission fluid that was, it got on it and stained it. So I

“like turned the, and I walk out and, I mean, people, if I think looked up, you can look up the footage”

of me auditioning. I'm like, yeah, everybody. And I've got the floppy hair. And then, you know, I look like I'm trying to pretend to be Don Johnson in Miami Vice after he repair a car on the, I don't think you could. But, and so you don't just have one moment like that. Right. You have, in my case, anyway, many of them. Right. And they continue. Yeah. You know, they say luck as preparation means opportunity. And, you know, these, these moments, these points of light continue.

It wasn't just that moment. It's like, it's, I can think of that was a, that was a tent poll, right, moment that I didn't know then. But the domino effect happened after that. Now, most people, not, I'm not most, but I'll say many, many people in your situation. That's where the self-medication starts. That's where alcohol, drugs, people get into that kind of behavior for a reason, because they feel like a lobster that's been sheldered, but is alive, you know, and, and everything's

too, literally too raw, you didn't have that. Right. Well, that's where my sex tourism to Japan started.

That quote, if anyone missed the top. Yep. That quote as a context is very, um, well, that's just bad news for you and your team. That's where England, that would be the headline of the, of the Guardian. The Daily Mirror, yeah. Yeah. Wait a minute. No, but I, but I was, uh, you know, I battled all, I battled all the stuff. I had anxiety, I had depression, I had, you know, and, you know, I had, I had, I had certain medication medication, but you knew that you couldn't drink because

“you're for your voice. So, the pressure of needing to sound really good out there, I think kept me”

from getting into dangerous territory because ultimately the feeling of not doing great out there is worse than how good any of that stuff might feel in the interim. - But can I just say heroin would not have affected your voice? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

- Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no - Tade it goes by! - I don't want the fuck! - Why? - Come on.

- Oh, he's not going on Mike's now. - Yeah. - The man gets saying so far away from me. - He's got that. - He just took the mic and buried a hole.

- Doug a hole and buried it. - God, I'm very glad you didn't get any of those drugs, which by the way, I think are very bad. - Oh good, good, good, good. - I like that.

- Yeah, you do do do. - Dude, my genre of music though. - My genre of music though was not like, I did not have that crew around me. - Yeah.

- Like, what about your goaties? - I was like, "Hey, man, you gotta bump a line, man." - Hey, man, you're off in the rear was really killing everybody. - You seem a little tense. - Yeah, I was a good fan of Halloween.

“But now, Grobin, this is what I think you should do.”

- Yeah, yeah, musical theater's fine, but heroin's better. - You know, it's like an episode of like, "Miber Cop Rock, sure." - Sure, yeah, yeah.

- It's the everything I relate back to Cop Rock. Does everything's a musical? I imagine like a guy in a trench coat drawn. - You're saying the high note, but here's some mess. - Yeah.

(laughing) - I did not have that singing guy in the trench coat like, after my classical scales, saying like, you know, it's a passing to me that I'm glad you brought this up, because...

- Yeah, yeah. - I have gone, no, we're gonna go off the drugs, but more specifically into musical theater

because in musicals that I've always,

to this day, I can never reconcile. I couldn't as a kid and I can't now as an old man. I can't reconcile the, "What do you think we ought to do?" I don't know, it's kind of tricky. But maybe we should, I'm always like, "What the hell happened?"

What is it? - Tent you out of it. - Yeah, yeah. - And I'm always, I would love to be in a musical where someone does that and other people are,

you know, "What are you doing?" - Yeah, what are you doing? - Yeah, why? - Yeah, exactly, yeah. But there's two camps of people.

There's those that just think it's absolutely ridiculous and don't get it at all. You, perhaps, shall I? (laughing) - I'm not putting you both in the same, well,

you know, I too, I'm with one of the Kardashians as well. (laughing) Why is that clown singing in a high-low? High-low? - Ridiculous, you know.

(laughing) - And then those that are totally swept away, I was one of those kids that was totally swept, just totally swept away by it. - And I, yeah.

- The combination of music and story and that you could break into a song and that the singing of that song would somehow tap into some deeper way of expressing the story.

- Yeah. - I just, I suspended that disbelief. - I do make an exception for the, I'm obsessed with the music man and I'm obsessed with the, you got trouble song

and I feel like I was put on this earth to do that and some day in my life, I need to do it 'cause I, you know, and I wrote it. - Simpsons episode about it.

And it always says something that I just,

and then later was asked 'cause I knew you've worked with the Hollywood men's gay choir. - Yes, that's right, gay men's chorus of Los Angeles. - Gay, gay men's chorus. And, it's what I said. - You put your dick in it,

- I'm gonna be the Hollywood gay. - I say what foreign choir. (laughing)

“- What did you do? - I, I think they're, believe me.”

I've worked with them and their name is the gay Hollywood. (laughing) That's right, choir, bit men frequent. (laughing) - That's what it's called frequent. And guys, hello, but I got to, I got to work with them. - I think it's gonna directly do them. - I know it, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're gonna look at writing the gay Hollywood guy. - Hello, it's me, David, I'm an ally. (laughing) I'm so, what I could call it.

- What a stop, what do I say to you every day?

- It calls me lines, he'll always just text me ally.

And once I was in the car with my boyfriend and he called me 'cause he knew we were in the car and I answered and he just screams ally.

- Because then it, I can say later on, I went on record. - Oh, I'm, I'm just, I need to be stopped, I'm an ass. - But, they, I performed the, the, not the trouble song, the Monorail song, which was my version of it at the Hollywood Bowl

for this Simpsons anniversary, which was classic. - One of my all-time favorite moments in show business and they were absolutely fantastic and really funny.

So I've always thought, oh my God, okay,

I need to figure out a way where I get airlifted into a version of music man and I just get to do that song and then I'm airlifted out. - I mean, I don't know, after the beef you clearly have

“with musicals, I don't know if that's gonna happen, do you?”

- I'm just to sing myself also from shallamae. - My beef is always just ballet. - Yeah, I'm done with musicals. I do love musicals, I just, not a beef, it's just that I could never make the logical leave.

- Right. - But the music man is where the line is, okay. - Yeah, I love that, like, that's the one where you're like, but that guy, you know what, with his little traveling salesman box

when he breaks into song, why believe it, you know why? - Why? - Because it's that Rex Harrison thing if he's kind of talking, okay.

- You know, that listen, my friend, you know, it's all that kind of thing that makes more sense to me because I often start talking to people in that musical rhythm and yelling at them. - Yeah.

- I mean, I do. You can see why I would wanna do a song where I'm saying, now, go around everyone and I'll tell you what, you have to know. - Oh, you got to, you know, that, as opposed to,

- I wish to have a man in his hand, well, it's not, it's not trying to be real. - What can you take a second and go, Conan, you have a beautiful voice, huh? - Oh, I'm getting angry, fucking opportunity, all right.

- I wish to have a man in his hand, I mean, come on, that was, (laughing) you know, it's crazy, he's wiping blood from his eyes. (laughing)

The blood that comes out of Josh's eyes when he hears music, being butchered, I got his tears on the back of my neck, I'm fantastic, a beautiful, I wish, Henry, there's a big, not your, not your hair, it's just other hairs on the back of your neck.

(laughing) - Thank you all the way down. - I'm kidding, stop it back there. - All of you, cackling. (laughing)

We should address, I wanna address the Timmy Shalomay thing, for just a second, 'cause he was right there

“in the first row and you were at the Oscars and I think,”

I do, I think he's an amazing actor,

and I actually have met him a bit, and no one, I really don't know him not well, but I think he is a really good guy, I really do, it got mild on it, it became a hat of time. - Yeah, I'm gonna take a second, and I, of course,

I thought that was okay, maybe that wasn't a great thing to say, but, you know, it ultimately helped. - Yeah. - Ticket sales skyrocketed, I mean, the thing I took from it is like, all right, people are gonna have their hot takes,

their opinions as people should, and then you can disagree with it or not. But ultimately, like, if what he said meant that everybody went, yeah, stinks, whatever it is, and then sales dropped,

well, then that would be one thing. But, no, like, ballet companies were saying, use promo code "shallamae" to like, if you want two for one tickets, everybody was, you know, sometimes you need a heel

for everybody to go now, wait a minute. - Yeah. - And every, he actually elevated it. People, and then he had, and then Mr. Colton came up to show, our bit was written before he said those things.

- Yeah, that's right, yeah. - So we, you know, people were asking me, did you do that, you were right in front of you, did you do that? And I said, no, we wanted to do it.

- No, we came up with that before that whole thing, but anyway, just, you know, just a moment to say, he's all right. (laughing) Also, I think he's an incredible actor.

- Incredible actor. - Incredible actor. - Incredible, an talented actor, and who amongst us hasn't said things. - I mean, truly, did this interview.

- I think it's an interview. - Yeah, this interview alone. - By the way, can I just say, I want to double down on this, I believe, at the beginning of time,

everyone spoke America. - Oh, there we go.

“- Oh my God, and I think America is a language.”

- And also, what's wrong with Fetno? - And also, you as promo code, Colton, (laughing) for your black car hero and me, let me tell you. - Hey, so let's talk about this.

You were always interested in comedy.

- It's always been an interest of yours. I know you're a talented mimic at some point, because you are a renowned singer. You get this opportunity to be in the office. Voice on the Simpsonser.

You get to start playing in that, on those little playing fields of comedy, and you have a facility for it, and you really enjoy it. And that must have just been, I mean, you have fans who are comedy fans

and you don't know you say, that's very true. And if they're just tuning in right now, they think, "Oh, they have the comedian Josh Groban on." And then they're like, "Oh, wow," he sings. - Yeah, in fact, thank you for that opportunity

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

“- I thought you should finally be heard out.”

- I'm wondering if it's from my streaming. - Yeah, yeah.

- So I talked about those first years of my career

where I just felt like a shell of myself. Part of that was because I felt like a huge part of my brain was just going untapped. And in high school, I got to work with that choir teacher, so then I also got to start an improv group.

They had a free period. And we had a black box theater. And when everybody else was just having snacks and what do kids do? Rollin' the dice, and I don't know.

- Wow, you really had no social life. - You really had no child to it. (laughing) - You know when they were training, you were running down the street

and your book of shoes. - Moken clothes, and I don't know what they were doing. - Yeah, like one of those weak rims that goes down the street. - That's it. (laughing)

- Yeah, it was playing whooping stick, all the way home.

- Whooping stick, all the way home.

- I got a butterfly. - And so they said you got anything you wanna do. We got an hour free period. And I asked my theater teacher, I said, can we do improv?

Can I do improv? I'd taken some classes. This is actually a very funny side quest. Is that in the valley, there's a theater called Connection LA Connection Comedy Theater.

That's it, in the valley. And I was one of the youngest people they had, they had their taking classes there. They now have a very strange painting of me on their wall.

If you drive down, I think it's victory. One of the streets in Burbank, I think it's next to like there's a trophy shop on one side and a gun store on the other. And then there's this improv building.

And it's got like me and Will Ferrell, who I guess went there and Matthew Perry's faces on there. - Yeah. - But we all look like bizarre versions of ourselves. - Any tribute painting to someone is by definition weird.

The faces are kind of bent and weird. There are no paintings of me anywhere as a singer. But for some reason, Ella Connection was like, this guy, this improv master, we must have him on there. But improv was like an escape for me.

So I started there. And then for the vast majority of the beginning of my career, the label and everybody else was like,

“you have to be the guy who's on the billboard all the time.”

You cannot stray from the brand of singing these serious songs and being the serious guy on the pedestal because people are getting an emotion from the songs and you don't want to ruin that. Honestly, it started with Kimmel.

He gave me, he said, you know, 'cause I wasn't getting couch time. And you, given me couch time, like being allowed to talk and show my personality was not something as a singer you normally get to do.

Kimmel said we've got a panda that is not mating right now. I think it's lingling the panda. Would you do a skit where you sing a ballad trying to make the panda's horny? - Right.

- And I was like, here we go. And away we go. And so that was the first thing that worked. That's really important, yes, there's a little Josh the Panda. It's another, I think I think that worked, I don't know.

But he then he had me back to St. Kanye West Tweets. And then he had me back to St. Trump's Tweets back when we could laugh and was a good time. - And so just I think, and then friends that I knew that did these shows said we've got a funny little thing

or we want you to play yourself in a bizarre way.

And I just always said yes, I said yes to all of them

because for me it was my way of just kind of exercising some of that stuff that I felt I wasn't able to be myself. It's freeing, it's fun. So, yeah, that's, you have this fascinates me, but let's say you're singing something like,

you know, unchain melody or some song

“that where you have to hit these heights.”

And you know those notes are coming. Do you ever get in your head about that or are you just at this point? No, oh, I know exactly what to do there. And which I'm sure you do, but when you have to take it up,

several octaves, you might be training for a long time. You might technically know that the notes are in your range. But it takes a lot of kind of practice mentally to get yourself to a place where you just decide to say, and it's not because you don't care,

but there has to be a certain amount of fuck it because if you care that much, oftentimes the mind and the voice are connected, you're gonna get tense. And then the more you say, God, I hope it comes out,

the sick thing about it is the more you're gonna regret how it came out. I don't know if you're aware of this, but you sometimes say fuck it out loud. Well, did I say, no, no, no, no,

what I'm saying is I watched you do the National Anthem once. (audience laughing) And when it came to Rocket's Red Glance, and this was in front of the shoot, stadium filled with children. Well, you said, you said, fuck it.

Hammer, it's red, it's like, don't do that. When you're timing the jet, sometimes you have to bam. (audience laughing) It's just, I tried to stretch. Okay, you know, you see, the camera guy is going,

you know, doing this, and it's like, (audience laughing) Oh, fuck it, I think you should start when you're gonna hit a really great, impressive note saying, watch this, just before you do it.

Just, you break out of the sun and go, watch this. (audience laughing) There was a singer, I won't name him, but there was a singer kind of,

that was kind of coming up around the same time.

And he used to do something before he did high notes, where he'd be about sing the high note and he'd go, yeah, and I just would go, get this. Here we go, watch this, I don't like that at all. Yeah, just, yeah, check me out.

If I did that, if I went, it definitely wouldn't come out. Like that's a surefire way to jinx a high note. I would completely go this other guy's way. Yes, you would.

I would go the other way and glorify my favorite thing is to say, check this out and then fail.

“I think it's the funniest thing in the world to me”

because watch this and then wipe out and then completely wipe out. I think that's very funny. Yeah, you don't start your Oscar monologue with check this out, all right, here we go. All right, what's this?

Hey, you ready to laugh? Watch this. (audience laughing) Yeah, to just see that that movie is someone so, yeah, someone so, you know, boy, that would be awesome.

That's a good joke, but I did have one performance where I was kind of sick. I was with David Foster, by the way, I should preface by saying he's been the most supportive and he's been a great mentor,

but there was one time where I think he knew that I should just buckle up and sing the note. And I was being kind of the baby about it. I had a cold and I said, David, this song, please, we just make sure I don't sing,

can I just not sing the note tonight? Can I sing around it? Yeah, yeah, no problem, no problem. We get out there, gets up to the note. He's gonna mic at the piano, right?

And he goes, "Here comes the money note!" Right out the floor. And that was a lesson learned, that was like, and by the way, because I was so surprised that he said it, pop right out.

Sure, and it was like, you know, tough love. Yeah, why? Yeah, a lot of flam got spit out in that moment. (laughing) Patang!

Okay, there's another question. So I'm driving around listening to cinematic and, you know, the breakfast at Tiffany's theme, a river. - A river, like that. Would you do with your dad?

And then it evolves into bickering at one point. It does. You apparently left the milk out, and it was overnight.

Dishes will never get done.

River, there's no duet with me and my dad. Yeah. (laughing) The fuck it in that one is very famous.

“Yeah, it comes out to the Jazzy key change.”

A little off my, how cool they get to do that with your dad who's amazing. One of one experience. Yeah. I great, great musical arrangement,

Vince Mendoza gave us that beautiful arrangement, and there was always a moment in the song for an instrumental. And I had great trumpet players that I kind of reached out to get feelers.

I talked to Winton Mar Salis and Terrence Blanchard, my heroes to say, "Hey, I'm doing the song, would you be interested?" And they both said send me in. And then I said to myself,

"My favorite trumpet player is also my favorite person." And my dad is turning 80 to the summer. He hasn't played the trumpet anyway. In any way, professionally, since the 60s. Right.

And I asked him, I said, "If I, I know you played Moon River as a kid. "If I got you to rehearse you had two weeks notice, "do you think you could get the lip, "and do you think you could do it?" And he said, "Well, let me see."

And he unzipped his trumpet case that had dizzy glass me for president on it, and it hadn't been open since like the 70s. And, you know, every time I'd call the house, I'd say, "Mom, how's he doing?

"I'm going to be here." You know, in the background, he's rehearsing. And I said, "How's it going, Dad?" He said, "Good, good." You know, I actually think I might be able to do this.

So Greg Wells, our producer, set it up. I said, "Look, this is going to be my dad. "I want this to be special and we need to have some patience." He hasn't played in a while. So Greg's credit, he said, "We got to do this at sunset sound,

"which was Louis Armstrong's favorite studio in LA." And then he called and they said, "You know, "we actually still have Louis stool." So if you want, we could set out the stool for your dad to sit on, and we got the old mics he used to record into, and I'm going, "This is just turning into not just a song,

"but like a core memory fairy moment." My whole family showed up, and my brother and my sister-in-law, my two-year-old nephew, who's walking around, and, you know, my pictures of my dad playing the trumpet for him, and it was just, you know, and he crushed it.

He totally crushed it. So I got my musicality from him. He went into business. His mom said, "That's no way to make a living." And to have a song that is a tribute, and thank you, for what he put in my DNA,

“is just the best, it's the best thing I've ever made.”

My father-in-law is a incredibly talented musician, and, you know, great, you know, he can play jazz guitar, and, you know, that kind of Dixie Land style, and he's just, I mean, he can play, like, Django, Ryan Hart's stuff. Oh, great.

And he's really terrific, and he would always sit in with other bands and stuff,

and he played it our wedding, and, but he's someone who, that's what his is real love, but he thought, well, you know, I'm married, I'm getting married, and I'm going to have kids, and I must be responsible, so he, you know, worked in insurance, and there's so many people who are a great artist. Yep.

I think we live in a culture now of, this is my dream, and I must do it. There's so many people who make decisions that this is what I want. I want a stable income from my family, and they do that, so people like your dad, and he could really well. We have one recording of a live performance he had in the '60s, and he was, I mean, truly

you know, he goes out and finds jobs for people, and he's brilliant at it, and he's got, luckily, I don't have that side of the brain. If I wasn't doing this, I'd be lost, but he has also the business he can focus, like he really focus, and he can do that, and he's great at it, but for him to watch me do it for a living, my brother's a director to kind of watch our artistic endeavors blossom, his,

I think, been really good on that. But also, and you're able to do that because, well, yeah, he was responsible, and anybody had to do that. That's exactly right, is that he went into, to do what he did to make sure that we were

“able to say, "Hey, I liked going to the theater, can I join the theater camp?”

You know, can I get an instrument to play myself?" And that is the greatest service he could have lost, we'd done for us. I think our final message here is, "Don't pursue your dreams." Do you know what I mean? Don't speak English?

Yeah. Do heroin? I know what a American. Oh, sorry. Speak American, heroin, and your dreams.

Yeah. I call old English original Americans. 118 English to me is like, yeah, that was American, and then they made it English. Yep, I'm a moron that just doesn't quit. Well, latest album Cinematic, it's really, it's amazing.

And also, I mean, I was thinking, do you, do you ever just drive run, listen to yourself, and enjoy it, or is that impossible? Well, there's so much of that that happens when you're doing mixes, you've got to make

sure, you're listening with a critical lens because you just want to make sure that

everything's balanced, right? So, I mean, yes, you accidentally get chills sometimes, you say, "Why sound a good?" They're, "Oh, that really sounds great." But you prick. My, yeah, it's true.

It's true. It's true. Here comes the high note. Yeah, I'm going to rent you a convertible, and we're going to get a bumped up sound system, and you're going to listen to cinematic driving around LA, and people are going

to see you listening to yourself, and pointing at yourself at stoplights. I'm going to point at you. Yeah. I'm going to point, you say, "Ah, Josh, this has been a real delight." Same here.

Thank you. You were a teenager.

“I believe when I met you, and you were, again, really sweet, really funny, and I thought,”

and now here you are, and you're an incredibly, incredibly good guy, and terrific artist. So, glad to know you, and thanks again for your help. Listen, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you for being an inspiration for so many years. You make it look easy.

I know how hard it is, and you're just such a beacon of life for so many. So that's wow. That's the one I'm going to stick the landing here with the take it, take it, well, you heard it here. I'm a huge influence, musically, you are a Josh, you are, you are, you are, you are, you're

Danny Boy, you're really, you're having the boy, the pipes, the pipes. Maybe I can do this for a minute. Thunner Brian goes broke in one month, Josh, thank you. In celebration of your upcoming parents in the new Toy Story movie, Toy Story 5, yeah, the new one.

Yeah, okay. We have something special to show. Oh my god, it's out! How cool! Look at that!

This is my character, his name is Marty Pants. It's a toy for the listener.

It's a toy for, well basically, my character in Toy Story 5 is a potty training device.

And so I think this must be my voice, right? I think it's you. No, it's one. I mean, I recorded these. You recorded specifically for the toy, or did they take their sound bits from the

- No, they had to be do it for the toy. - Good, here. - Oh, wow. - Anyway, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, (laughing) - I'm gonna remember, this is a little bathroom.

- That's here. - That's me, you did that. - So, what's up? - You did it here in this studio. - Yeah, I did it. - Yeah, yeah.

- Yes. - It does shut up, it must be you, it won't shut up. - Oh, no. - No. - You know what I did? I decided, they're like, I'm on top. (laughing)

“- You must have weird, I'm being interrupted by myself.”

- Finally, there's karma, oh my god. - I can't get him to shut up. - You done? - You do. - You do. - Are you done?

- Oh, he's motion-activated.

- And that's what the problem is.

- Yeah, it is, it is, it is most likely. - Oh, it does say, right? - So in the box, can you turn it upside down? - I'm just gonna put it on the floor for a second. - And then you can use yourself, go on the floor.

(laughing) - And can I, and can I be boxed and put into storage by a collector? - Yeah, they said, oh, do you wanna, you know, I guess they can use a different voice, but they said,

do you wanna do your voice for the toy, and remember thinking, I'm never gonna be a toy again.

- Yeah, a little extra, they negotiate. - I do. - I do. - No, no. (laughing) - Well, this is the opposite of a cash-need box. - This is not that, this is, I mean, and I don't care,

'cause it's, to be part of the toy story saga, it was just a delight, and to be in the same company of these amazingly creative people and these huge stars. So I was just super happy to do it. But, yeah, so now it's a toy.

- I wonder when my youngest daughter gets a potty train to fool, use that. I think your wife will mix that. - But what if you find out people are using it, and children all over the world are getting constipated?

(laughing) - On epic, there's an epidemic of constipation among children. We think we found the kids just seize up, when they hear my voice. - I love it.

The time you're in a Pixar movie, it's when you're a role of toilet paper. - Well, that's the toy looks, but I'm not a role of toilet paper.

“- I know, but that's what it's modeled after.”

- You're a role of toilet paper. - You're a role of toilet paper. - Yeah, you look like a role of toilet paper. - No, you're bringing it to the wrong way. - Literally, it's the role of toilet paper.

- It actually is like the role of toilet paper. - No, no. - Oh my God, you eyes light up, okay. - You just talked over my toy, which is so you. (laughing)

- My toy was trying to talk and you in typical so-and-o-nation, so-and-o-nature. - Okay, well, I didn't talk over it that. (laughing) - Let me see this thing.

- Oh, look, now, I think when you put it face down and he's just talking into the table. - Oh, look, look at him. - Wow, that's the thing, look, look at him. (laughing)

- That's sort of a pants when he's low on battery and he sounds a drunk. - Oh, that's my method as an actor. - Oh, that's good. - Now, I have to be honest, as we record this,

I've not seen the movie yet. So I don't know what's gonna happen. This could be the end of me. - Really? - What?

- Are you joking? - We used never know. - No, you're joking, it's gonna be great. - I do not wanna be the guy that fucks up Toy Story 5. - Oh, you're stupid, I don't think that.

- Maybe you'll get a spin off, yeah. What if I leave the podcast to go double down on my smarty pants? What if I start touring, and I'm in a smarty pants - You gotta convince him.

- I go to conventions, and I have, you know, I just do this a lot and take pictures with people. - Yeah. - I think that's a good idea. - Yeah.

- That'll work. - Anyway, so that's it. I am the voice of a toilet training toy. - This is exciting. Are you excited?

Now, this is a big deal for you animation and Disney and all that, right? - Well, I'm not like one way or the other on Disney cartoons, but Toy Story and Pixar,

they're pretty amazing and plus now

that I have a daughter that I go to the movies with. - This is gonna be amazing. - Will you take her to see Toy Story 5? - We go see a lot. - We love going to movies.

So, I mean, this would be, sometimes we're stretching to find a decent movie. - The only thing I've seen, I go to the premiere tomorrow and I will see the movie for the first time.

I have, and they're whole chunks of the movie, I don't know 'cause they only give you your part. But one of the things that they did let me see was the opening of the movie and it's just stunning.

“- Do you have, are you in that or do you have a movie?”

- I'm not in, I don't give a grand entrance of it. - No, I mean, I don't know. I have not seen anything to do with my part. I'm totally in the dark. So, but they show the opening of the movie

which is quite cinematic and amazing and I just, they are because David Hopping and I got to go to Pixar to record my parts and it is, they're formidable these people.

They're just really amazing.

Are you gonna take the boys? - I am. - Yeah. - And when he comes on screen or you're gonna whisper to them,

I have complicated feelings about that. (laughing) - I think, no, they know that Uncle Conan's in the next toy story movie. - They don't know which part I am.

- They have no idea which part you're in. - Just tell 'em I'm Woody. - Oh my God, that's blasphemy, absolutely not. No way. Do you get to go to Disneyland for free?

That's one of the perks of being like a Disney employee. Do you have a badge? - No. - Okay. - So you're not like, you were just like temporarily there. If you wanted to go to Disneyland for free

or get tickets for somebody, I want to go to Disneyland for free.

“- I think they got what they needed for me.”

- Okay. - And even if I try to purchase a legitimate ticket to Disneyland, it will probably tell me I can't have it. (laughing) - You know, we've got the idea of the three of us

going to Disneyland and recording there. I think we should do that. - I do that, sure. - I do that. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - I love Disney. - I took a date to Disneyland once. Years ago. - How old are you?

- I was, I was when I was first living out here.

- So it would have been like 1986. I would have been 23. - How was it today? - It was a good date. - It was a great date.

- It was a good date. - It was a good date. - Yeah, that's a lot of the awkwardness out of it 'cause there's so much to do.

What are you talking about?

“- Did you make her go to like the Hall of Presidents?”

(laughing) - It gets worse. I took her to the Hall of Presidents and then made her, we stayed, 'cause I wanted to see each president talk multiple times.

And then she got to make her want to say, I told her, she started to say something, and I said, "Quiet, it's Martin Van Buren coming up." (laughing) He was the, I said, "He was the sage of Kinderhub."

And she went, "What?" And I said, "Oh, Kinderhub, upstate New York." Martin Van Buren, his lineage, was, "They were Dutch." And then I snapped at her.

And I never saw her again.

She left in tears. (laughing) And then Martin Van Buren looked at me and went, "You are a Dixer." (laughing)

- So much about Martin Van Buren. (laughing)

“- He said, "You know more about me than I do."”

And then Martin Van Buren said, "She looked hot." And then Lincoln said, "Sure, did." You fucked up, son.

And then all the crap locked yourself in man.

You cock locked yourself in. And that's hard to do. And then all the presidents just spent like 40 minutes telling me, "What do you have salute?" He had a roast.

He just went, "Actually, I would watch the hall." And then there was a Kevin Hart, a Kevin Hart robot came out. And he said, "I'm not a president, but I wanted on this." And then he went after me.

“And so it was all the presidents and Kevin Hart roasting me”

for making my girlfriend go see the hall of presidents. Anyway, she fled. Never to return again. - Great. Troy's 35, do it, man.

(laughing) - I don't know. My brain doesn't work today. - Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Mac poorly.

Produced by me, Mac poorly. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy.

- Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britcon.

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