Sword Play

- Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started. - Hello, hi Zach. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

(laughing) Hey, Matt, how you doing? - I'm good, how are you? - How you doing there? Zach, you Zach, Tarantellie is your name.

I'm not asking, I'm telling. (laughing)

“- You're an animator from Ohio, is that correct, sir?”

That's 100% correct. - And I can tell from looking at you that you are a ginger welcome to the club. (laughing) - Just in the beard though.

- Right. - The hair is, the hair is like blonde, like dirty blonde. - Okay, that's very strange. That's probably a sign of insanity. But I think we just have to accept it for now.

I know that my beard comes in redder than my hair. - Oh wow. - Yeah, it's more aggressively like copper. No idea what that is. Yet below the waist, oh, blonde.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. - It's like fiber optic, it's just like, see through, you know what I mean? - And also it changes color, you know what it says? That's so deep down that you can kind of.

- And you know what it changes colors like the sphere. (laughing) A lot of rock bands want to perform down there. (laughing) Oh, and anyway, let's move on, Zach.

It says here and I have notes on you.

“Oh, I've got an old dossier on you, Zach,”

but you are the head of animation for Zach D films. Is that right? - That's right, different Zach. But yes. - Okay, that's right, that matters.

- Conquering the world together. And you guys are very successful. It says you have 27 million followers and you've done your an animator of over 70 shorts. Is that correct?

- I personally animated 70 shorts for the channel before I moved into my current position. - That's so cool. That's, I mean, first of all, I'm a long fan of animation, raised on the very best of the Warner Brothers cartoons,

the classics, worked on the Simpsons.

So I've always loved animation and admire

what you people do, I really do. What do you love about it? Well, I love that it sort of brings the, first of all, you can do anything. Anything can happen.

And so whether it's Ren and Stimpy or a classic roadrunner, bugs, bunny and so many of the great animated shows today, anything can happen it's in your imagination. And it can really get perverse, which is my true joy.

(laughing) - 100% and I know that you would love that because you're basically a cartoon yourself. - You know what, thank you for saying that because I do, I've often thought I'm a cartoon character.

- Yeah. - My motions are exaggerated. My hair is a ridiculous cupcake. I act like Woody Woodpecker. - Yeah. - And, yeah. - It looks like olive oil, you know.

- Right me? - Nothing, what was that? - Nothing. - Nothing. - Don't be. - Yeah. Listen, I heard what you said, and I don't disagree. (laughing)

- I'll buy before the spinach. - No, no. (laughing) - I'm even better. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - Blanned to pop by before this spinach, yeah, and olive oil.

Okay, so that's all to be admired, Zach, that you have these amazing skills. And I'm glad you think of me as a cartoon character. Please turn me into one, because there has yet to be a successful cone-in-animated short,

“and I think that's your territory, Zach.”

You could do it. - Well, it's so funny you bring this up, and I feel like the producers are gonna hate me because we just talked about this, but I did do a little animation for you,

and I was gonna email it to somebody,

but I gotta tell you, here's the thing.

I can send it. - What's the matter? - What's the matter? - The problem is, what's the matter? - It doesn't. - It's great. He's a great animator.

- Yeah. - What's the problem? - What's the problem? - The problem is, the great animation takes time, and I only had like two days to put it together. - Right. - So, I don't know,

I wasn't the world, I did it for cone-in, yeah. - Yeah, for cone-in. - So, I'll send it, well, I want to send it to you, but I don't know if I want the world to see it, you know what I mean?

- Oh, I don't know. - Is it, it's, it's, it's, is it a, is it a, is it a sexual nature? I mean, some could interpret it. - Nice, I see. - Okay. - Well, it's, it's, it's fine.

It's just, you know, you know, we will not share it. - You know, we won't share it with the world. If you send it to me, and then it accidentally gets online, and it's attached as Zack D films, and people rate your work based on that,

that's just, who can help that? That's something we can do. - You, you see my conundrum, I, I lead it to, or your conandrum. - Or your conandrum. - Oh, it's an artist, sorry, a little self-obsessed.

- Is it, is, are we cutting this soon? Are we ending this? - Oh, no, no, no, no, your career is over, but my interview with you will continue.

Oh, look, there's some, there's some weaponry

on the wall behind you.

“- Not only that, but there's dedicated lighting”

for the weaponry. - Yeah, I know. I had to be all extra about the, that's okay. We have someone in studio who also likes to buy medieval weapons online, and then sort of charge them back

to the show, his name's Aaron Blair, and he's currently being investigated by the internal revenue service, along with his mother. - When I, when I, thank you for the introduction. - When I pretty exact the first thing I asked was about the sword,

and the last thing you asked, we talked about the last word, but I was asking about the sword, and they are, they're the same sword, right? - It's the same, it's, yeah, so it is a replica of Aragon sword in a free-forged Narcissue.

- Ooh, he's in hers. (laughing) - Yeah, so, so they are both, the story is, I haven't, like an eight foot one behind the computer, and it didn't have a sheath, so I bought a sheep knockoff

for the sheep, but the sheath is too small and they sent me, you guys just want to have it. - So now I have it. - Are you glad? (laughing)

- I've never seen coming so angry, I just, I don't know.

- No, I mean, hey, this is a problem we all confront. You buy an Aragon sword, it's too large, the sheath is gone,

“you need to find the sheath, you buy a knockoff,”

that sheath is too small, then you've got two Aragon swords, then you think I need a third one, 'cause it's got to be his and hers, and then I get two tiny or version of the same Aragon sword. - I wish nothing but ill upon you, sir.

(laughing) I hope a plague of locus fly up your ass. You can wish whatever you want, I have some swords. Now, remarkably you have a fiance. - Believe it or not, I do.

- Don't have her name, it says, her name is Ash, is that right? That's right, tell us about Ash, and as she okay with you having the sorts of Aragon, she cool with it. - She was just bummed, 'cause she was gonna buy me one,

and then it seemed to agree just at that point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, I think you found the right person for every Mickey, there's a Minnie, and you found someone who was reaching

for the same Aragon sword as you at Colonel Buster's. (laughing) - Colonel Buster's shop of Bolsheetery. - No, I do want to talk about Ash,

because she is amazing, she's like,

talk about Ash beautiful woman, I mean, she's incredibly talented, she's a singer, she's an actor, she's a writer, we met working at a regional theater together, both writing sketch comedy and performing it. - That's lovely.

- So she's the love of your life. - She's like contract, and she's soulmate by every definition of the word. - Oh, I'm very happy for you, Zach. - Thank you.

- Is this correct, she's kind of into mysticism? - Let's elaborate on that, tell us about Ash. - She's a spiritual person, you know, has warmed me up a bit to the idea, warmed this cold heart to accept

there may be something bigger than ourselves out there. - Yes, you're sore. - She is. - Yes, just hanging behind your fucking computer. (laughing)

What's your obsession with my someone? - I just can't forget about your big sore. - Your eight foot rod dog. - All right, take it easy. She has a very close relationship to the moon.

- What? - And you're not jealous of me? - No, how do you get that? - Tell us about this, she's into the moon. - What do you mean she's into the moon?

- I mean, she, you know, abs and flows like the tie. - Okay. - I mean, she's connected like, I think a lot of spiritual people are, maybe they don't say, she's aware of it.

- Yeah. - No, but, you know, it's interesting. - This is interesting is that you could say, it's not crazy to think the moon would have a significance on our lives

because we are made of water and we all know that the moon controls the tides, affects the tides and is responsible for them. - So is it possible then that the moon

“would have significance in our moods and our destinies?”

- No. (laughing) - It's not possible. (laughing) - It's a different place.

- It is. - It is. (laughing) - So got blind shot. (laughing)

- Kona Brian needs a friend, has partnered with Air, B and B. I use Air B and B quite frequently. I know you do as well, Sonna. - I do a lot. - I don't know about you, but when I'm traveling,

especially if I'm in, I don't know, Europe, Canada, any place like that, I like sometimes to not stay in a hotel. I like to feel like I'm part of the fabric of the place I'm visiting.

for what it's like to live there as a person.

Do you ever have that? - Yeah, we're actually planning a trip from my mom's birthday this year

“and we're thinking about going to Vancouver.”

- Oh, wow. - And we want to hold house 'cause it's gonna be my family, my brother's family, my parents, so it's beautiful there. - And I also think knowing your family,

and I say this was all kind of, so you need a house. - I mean, you don't want to be in a hotel where you're gonna get kicked out from being crazy. - Um, oh, oh, yes. - I think it's a great idea.

You can also put your place on Airbnb if you're going away, that's another possibility. - Yeah. - Might as well make some cash while you're out of town. - It's a good idea, it kind of pays for the vacation.

- You've got a nice situation.

Son, you could probably get good scratch by having some people stay at your place while you're gone. - Yeah. - Your home might be worth more than you think. So find out how much your place is worth at airbnb.ca/host.

(upbeat music) - Okay, you'll host like little like oven nights surrounding the new moon in the full moon. - Wow. - There's lots of psychology actually behind,

planting seeds and manifesting them through the power of thought. - I got that shit. - What's that? - I love it. - Spoken like a true spiritualist.

(laughing) - I love that shit. (laughing) - So it's basically psychology.

“Does this affect the way you schedule things with ash?”

- Do you try to look at what the moon is up to if you're gonna make a reservation or there's a big event coming up. Do you consult the moon? Do you let the moon guide your actions?

- Well, I actually, I proposed underneath a super blood moon lunar eclipse. - Oh, whoa. - And okay. - So you knew what date that was happening.

You had to propose. Did you try to, I mean, how does that work? Do you have to wait at night? 'Cause you want the moon to be out, right? - Yeah, so I, you know, I told her, hey, what about,

you know, in a week and three days, we have our regularly scheduled nighttime picnics,

you know, like we have never done before.

- Right. - And she was like, okay, we're sure. - We're sure. - And then of course, after I proposed and she said, yes, she told me that she actually had it marked on her calendar,

expect proposal this day, sort of, oh, she is. - Oh, yeah. - She is. - Can't you, couldn't you have done a better job of surprising her? (laughing)

I mean, no, I could have tried, but you know what you do. - You wait, you make sure you're in the house at the moment and then you yell fire. And she has to go outside, right? - Oh, that's good.

- Yeah, I need me in your room. - Where were you? When I was planning. - I fear the moon. I can get, I am so pale, I can get a moon burn. (laughing)

(laughing) - My Germans, I'll just just set a void day and night. (laughing) (laughing)

“Okay, so you and Ash, what are your plans for the future?”

Do you have the same values? Do you have the same fears? - I mean, I, I, I think we have values and fears that align, you know, we both value a lot of the same things like being a good person and putting positivity out

into the world, you know, I think that the energy you put out is very similar to the energy that you attract. Whether that is spiritualism or psychology, I think it's all the same thing really, but we both try to live our lives,

recognizing that day that we have today is the good old days and really trying to appreciate what we have now before we're old, like some people, and we're working back. What, what, okay, now, is this true you, you don't want to get too old?

Does that, it sounds like you don't, you guys don't want to get too old, you want to stay young and then call it quits at what age? What age do you think you'd like to go out at? - I have the benefit of being a young man,

so I have often joked that I would, you know, if I could go out at 75, I think 75 is enough life-lived. - No, what are you talking about? - I don't know about a lift, it's not long. - Okay, I had this aburting to the people around me.

- This is named copy, but I had the great privilege of getting to introduce the Rolling Stones, a couple days ago at this big event, and I believe Mick Jagger is 82, that guy's having the time of his life,

and if you said, I wanna out at 75, he would laugh at you and then kick your ass. - You could hit kick my ass though? - Oh, he could, you know why? - He probably has nine security guards.

He would just point to you. He would be the one responsible for your ass kicking, but he wouldn't do the ass kicking. Anyway, I think you will be amending that when you're 74.

by the time I get up there,

I'll probably want a couple more years, but I actually, that's pushing the 75 thing. - Yeah. - You know, just hitting the snooze button on it. - Yes, yeah, I love that idea.

- That's how life works, yeah, yeah. - Oh yeah, you start to hear AM radio and you're like, no, I want a few more years. - That is a fear of mine is reaching in age where I no longer know who I am.

- Well, I hit that about four years ago, and let me tell you, it's not bad,

“'cause I forgot in many of my heinous crimes, right?”

They're, you know, so it's all just a dim memory to me. No, I appreciate wanting to stay young, but you can't, you can't plan now, you know? - But let's say you guys both hit 75 and you want out how you're gonna do it.

- We've actually talked about this. So we've discussed two ways. They're both very different.

First is going out thumb and Louise style,

getting in a car just driving right off the grand canyon. And then we're going out together. - Yeah, you know, at the same time. And the other way is, you know, the last of us, Nick Offerman style

with some pills in the glass of wine, and, you know, just fall asleep together. - Wow, this got super depressing. I would combine them. - I'm not speaking of all of your error-gorn swords.

- Yeah. - You've got those swords, you might as well use them. - Oh, you know what I would think? People romanticize that thumb and Louise ending. I know me, and if I was in that car with my beloved,

and we went off the cliff of the Grand Canyon, my whole thought the way down would be, someone's got to get this car out of the Grand Canyon. And I would feel like, that's a drag, someone's, and people are gonna be mad at me,

and what if we hit, you would leave,

like, let's say a $2,500 check behind for cleaning services. - For crane services?

“- Yeah, I think it's gonna be more than that,”

actually, to get that out. - But I don't care if I have to split the difference. Trust me, I've looked into this. - Yeah, I don't know, I just say, don't even worry about it.

Your death is not your concern. Just enjoy life for now, and then when the time is now, grab seven of your swords and jump on them. (laughing)

- Yeah, I don't know if I wanna go out in that flash of a way, I think the piece of water. - Yeah, just a car off of the Grand Canyon. - Car off the Grand Canyon. - I had no tell-sex with Brad Pitt.

- Yeah. - That's peaceful to me. This is just open sky right in front of you, and you know, it's on top. - So besides your obsession with these arrogance swords,

and of course your work and animation, and you're growing interest in all things lunar, what are your hobbies? What would you say is your most interesting hobby? - Well, you know, actually right now,

I'm designing a trading card game with my brother and best friend. - Okay. - Is that too the premise or is your brother, your best friend?

- It's a little confusing. - He is my best friend, but then I have another, but I have five best friends. - No, you can't, that's not what I'm talking about. - No, I get it, I have that.

“- And what's the trading card just before we wrap it up?”

What's the trading cards? - So the game is called Alterverse, and the elevator pitch is interdimensional, hunger games where alternate versions of history's legends fight together in an arena one, one to that.

- Okay, so Altered versions, of course we go right to Lincoln, one Lincoln versus another Lincoln. - Well, as a warrior, yeah, bizarre ass. - Yeah, well, when you serve William Lincoln the night, Abraham Lincoln bought the robot from the year 322,

but Lincoln gets converse as Lincoln. - No, no, no, I think he's saying there's alternate versions to the alternate versions fight each other. Does Lincoln buy a Abraham Lincoln O Lincoln who lives in Ireland, and did they fight each other?

- They could fight each other. You could, right now we have Sherlock as a robot fighting Hercules as a caveman. So maybe not even like actual people that existed, just the legends may be exist as reality

and some other alternate dimension. Have you worked out how the game works on the whole thing? - It's all worked out, we've been play testing it, we've been designing cards, it's, you know,

I would challenge you in a game 'cause I know you would love that. I know you're actually dying for me to ask you to do that, but you know what? No one's ever read the mind before, but you have.

You have, I would love to play you in this game, and he said, "Line, I'm, yeah, I don't know, "that game sounds like obviously a very creative guy, "you're a very talented guy, and so I'm free." - Do you create things in your hobby?

Like when you're just sitting around, if you've got a weekend off or anything like that, do you find yourself writing little things or doodling or doing any sort of creation? - I signed headshots to myself.

- Jesus Christ.

and then I signed them to me,

“and then I put them in an envelope and then I open them.”

And I get excited, and each time I open one, I'm equally excited. - Wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a little game I called, and there's sisters.

- No, I have lots of little things I do, we all entertain ourselves, I suppose in different ways. For me, obviously it's working on my body. What's that? - Yeah, actually I hear nothing good from here.

- Thank you. - I look best on Zoom. What's been delightful talking to you?

“I mean it when I say you seem like a nice guy,”

an talented guy, I'm very excited for you

and Ash who sounds amazing, and she's great.

And I'm happy for you guys. That's all I can say. What I'd be happier if you didn't have the swords? - Yes, I would. - What I'd be happier still if you're red beard

matched your hair. - Yes, delighted. - But I can't control these things. Does the whole moon thing creep me out

in the ovens late at night?

- Yeah, I'm worried. I'm really worried. Does the game sound fun? - No, no it doesn't. - All those things aside, Zach.

“I like you, and I bless you, moving forward in life.”

- Thank you so much. It's honestly it's a pleasure. You know, I have three more swords in the closet. I was gonna send you one. - Okay, we have.

Zach, thank you so much. - Thank you. - Thank you, thank you all. It's been a really fun thing. - Really fun thing, you all, it's a huge fan.

- I salute you. - Bye. - Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Session, and Matt Gorley. Produce by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Lea. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples,

Associate Producer Sean Doherty, and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, get three free months of Sirius XM. When you sign up at SiriusXM.com/Conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe

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