A Pair of Riot Daisies | WWDD/Heauxmetown Heroes w/ Katie Maloney & Dayna Kathan

The good news? You don't need to stop shopping.

“You just need to start selling with the real real.”

The real real is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale.

Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone, or those boots you never fully

broke in. The real real handles everything, from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid, and make room for things that actually feel like you. 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Celine, Louis

Vitton, and Louis Vay, all for up to 90% off retail. You're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, right now you can get an extra $100 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you. Go to the real real.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep shopping at the real

real.com. That's the real real.com, terms apply. Where do you when you are? I was born ready, darling. Okay, good afternoon, actually.

Oh shit. Let's be realistic. It's afternoon. It's afternoon. I'm curious if people are going to notice a difference.

There's going to be a little, um, a little pep in our stuff.

I feel like they'll notice a difference with me. My brain. We normally record in the morning or on like, what time? 10, 10. I'm just not awake.

I'm awake. I had been awake, but my brain doesn't turn on until I've like the caffeine has had some time to set in. The world snag. I'm lunch.

Maybe a walk. People right now are listening to this on their commute at 545 in the morning and wanting to throw a chair.

“But here's the thing, I used to do that.”

I used to get up, sometimes I would have to be up at 4 for work. And I'm not sure now in hindsight how he did that, but we're in the afternoon. And I feel really good about it. I feel great about it. Maybe a schedule change.

And a friendly reminder, send us your hometown heroes and your W.B.D.D.s at disrespectly [email protected]. Here we are. We can help you. How are you doing?

I'm great. Are you? Yeah. OK. How are you?

How am I? How am I? How am I? You know, drugs to funk, but I wouldn't have a little bit of a funk. It's, I don't need to like point it out to anybody that shit is literally like,

what the fuck is happening? Welcome to disrespectfully with Katie Maloney and Dana Katelyn. Unapologetically. We're here to do what we want to do. Spilling the tea.

Babe, you're going to see the power of women like disrespectfully. Every day is worse than the last. I just don't even know what to say anymore. I've just saw a bunch of like videos of people filming ice at the airports and they're literally doing nothing.

They're running from people filming them because they can't have their masks on. They're sitting on their phone texting, hanging out like little cluster groups, like not assisting with TSA at all, which is the whole point of them being their supposedly allegedly allegedly. Allegedly.

I don't know. I think it's just a great time to remind everyone that a bunch of olgarks are actually running the country and they look at you as sims. They don't even look at you as people. They don't even look at you.

They don't even look about you. If you're listening to this podcast, I'm assuming that you know this and agree with us. But at this point, you're either an evil piece of shit or your dumbest piece of shit because they're picking vulnerable groups, whether it's high school trans athletes, which is less than 1% of the population or immigrants and then pointing their fingers to blame as to

why your life sucks. Here, real quick. I went grocery shopping yesterday. Same. I was looking at us getting back on track.

Yeah. I was legit shocked at the prices of everything. My jaw, the entire time, I was just like, how is this real life? So I'm just curious. Is your life any better than how it was before this administration and mostly asking

people at home? I'm like, no. The answer's no. It's all rooted in, peat jerky and racism and all the things, but unless you're a

“hateful bitch, your life is absolutely not better to say even at Trader Joe's, where”

I don't think a whole week's plus worth of groceries has ever cost me more than $150. It was $177. That's a significant price jump. Well, and either's two people in your household, mine was like 168. Yeah.

It was crazy. Ralphs. Yeah. I don't know. I don't like TJ's produce.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a disheartening. They had a really ripe bubble avocado. Did they?

Yeah. In avocado. Thanks. Anyway, we don't, I don't really don't want to talk about it. It really got me down bad yesterday.

Yeah. I did see a really good movie when we really, really good movie. We saw a project Hail Mary and I loved, it's Ryan, a Gosling, isn't it?

And basically, he wakes up on a mission in space, and he is solo, solo, all the other

people on the mission with him died. And then you kind of learned along the way, like, how he got into this position, what the purpose is, and then he ends up meeting like an alien creature.

while we vibe. I don't know. It's so good, though. There's a book. Make it read the book.

So it's not like a romantic. No. That's just just a bond between a man and his broccoli and creature. Hmm. Okay.

I'll check it out. I mean, it's rocky. A pro brilliant thing. On the nose. I'm definitely check it out.

It was really, really good.

First I was nervous because I was like, two and a half hours, you know what I mean?

I don't want to go see a movie that's more than two hours. Period. Well, and actually, when you text me and you're like, I'm in a movie, it was wondering which one. And no.

We're a client, aren't you? I know. Well, the thing is, we really wanted to get through that. You really wanted to see it and there was only so many options like we want to see an IMAX.

There was no options for that. I'll look the recliner, see the options were all sold out. So we just kind of picked the best option that was available. I'm people say you have a face diversity. I'm like, how you are, you are our strongest soldier.

I will write the book on it one day, but absolutely go see it if you haven't. Yeah. I'm proud of you. Well, I think that we should say hi to a special guest real quick, too.

“OG listeners are going to remember, do you remember one, Leia?”

Hello. Leia, is I'm a studio with us today. I'm an studio. We are a tough to bits. How are you, Leia?

I'm doing good. Do you and miss us?

I miss you guys every day.

And I'm so excited to be able to be in here. Leia, you create, you and Leia, the stars are my new favorite series. My new favorite get ready with me videos. Oh. It's so cute.

Leia, share your, share your app. I wasn't sure of anyone outside of like my friends of family would care about these, though. Well, now we're telling everyone. Well, now we're telling, give them your app. She's doing great content and I love seeing you.

Thank you guys at Leia G. Silberstein on IG, actually you influenced me, by the way. I haven't gotten the ingredients yet, but she made a chia seed pudding that she had in Hawaii. That really pissed people off, by the way. Why? Why?

Because we were making chia seed pudding and Louis made a mess. He like how does hands in it and stuff. And people were really upset about that for some reason, because it was making a mess. And it was like gross to them. And I was like, you guys aren't eating this.

You don't have to clean my kitchen. Yeah. We came from your body and pretty sure you don't mind. I kiss him on the mouth. Yeah.

I will eat pudding that he put his hand in. I will eat pudding that he put his hand in. His hand is there too. Yeah, me too. In a non-weird way, but you wouldn't actually speaking of, have you ever had a taller

“feed you a soggy cracker with their saliva so tanned?”

Yeah. Yes. Letting you grow when they're like little little and they put it in the round take it on and you have to eat it. It's an offering.

Yeah. It's just kind of a house. So there's no choice. There's no choice. A little fist in your mouth.

Yeah. It's disgusting. But it's so adorable. Keep up the good content. I'm seeing it.

Love you. I love you guys. I'm so happy to be here. Well, well, should we do have anything else? No.

I'm fucking miserable. I love you guys, though. We're going to kick this back up. This is going to be a fun episode, but I'm having a hard time. But everyone has hard times this morning.

This morning, I will say I did put myself in the way of joy. I didn't allow myself to listen to a sad playlist. I listened to like a mixed bag playlist and under pressure came on and I had a little dance and I'm like, God, it's such a good song and then I put a face mask on and I sat on a pillow near my sliders and like, fast in the sun for a while with my slow and

yeah, and I was like, don't be a miserable fuck. So that is my goal. You should have gone for a walk.

“Well, we didn't have enough time because I had like 15 minutes for her to get ready.”

I slept in. I was like the horrors. Well, now with our leaders record time, there is time in the morning. There is time in the morning. I love it.

I do too. I've already completed so much today. You have. I did dishes, too. I made breakfast and I made lunch and you sat in a non-reclining chair at the movie theater.

You are so strong. I know. And we can do anything. I drove them traffic today, too. Let's not forget.

Yeah. Crazy stuff. But it's not about me. It's about you guys today. It's about you guys.

Should we jump into some hometown heroes? Well, first we have some covering. Coral looks like. We do. We have a quick, we have a quick covering.

How about you read it? Okay, sure. I'm writing this as I'm watching fried green tomatoes if you have not seen it. Watch it. Have you seen fried green tomatoes?

Not a very long time. Absolutely. Leah, have you seen it? No. This is one of my favorite movies.

And I need everyone to watch it. They apparently more in the book. It explicitly says that there's a lesbian dynamic between them, too, and I actually really love that. And it makes a lot of sense to me.

But it's also just such a goddamn good movie. Everyone needs to watch it. Anyway, I just want to say thank you. Last year, I was a pussy-ass bitch. There's no nice way of saying it.

I was struggling mentally with ADHD, anxiety, and parent menopause.

And your country's politics, as USA has always been close to my heart.

Where are you from, I wonder? But there was a silver lining. Your podcast gave me a safe place. Your voices are soothing. And I understand that thing that I cherish most in life are the people around me.

I just love the people around me. And I love wine.

And he won when they--

“this life is too short to restrict yourself.”

Have the wine by the clothes, eat the cheese and laugh, and watch movies. Love from Finland. I want to go to Finland. Finland.

When I was at this doctor's day, they always make you stand on the scale.

Because it was like, for a follow-up for the GPO one, they're like, "Okay, let's just see the progress." And I was like, "Hold on. I was just on a trip. There's peanut caught as involved.

Dersert. She was like, "It's all. It's okay." Yeah. I'd like put on a few LBs from last week. Yeah. I don't care.

Oh, I'd like-- It's life is too short. I'm not going to ever regret not having a peanut caught or having dessert or whatever. I still think about the dessert. I didn't get to eat that one night last week.

So, yeah. Anyway, I agree with you, right? The thing is, I haven't having a little bit of an existential crisis lately because just how things are trending and have been thinking about it a lot more in terms of just do now. Well, you can, and we're planning for this future that I just don't think we have.

Like, not necessarily the world ending, but in just in terms of the system that was set up for the generation before us. And if you were card and then you can buy a house and you can do this and retire at this age. And it's just-- it's not trending in that direction. So, yeah, I say, "Do what you can?"

Well, you can. I also think someone said, "If you put the entirety of Earth's existence, if you consolidate it into a 24-hour period, humans, modern day humans, would appear in the last four seconds." So, like, it's so much has come and gone and I actually started that dinosaur thing.

I forgot about that. I just started it so we should watch it and chat about it because it's super interesting.

But when they talk about this huge weather event that happened and it was a million years

that went by before the next iteration of greenery and the plant. It's just like hard for your brain to comprehend how stupid silly all this is. It is.

“That's why we've seen a trend in cigarettes making them back.”

Because people are like, "What's health anyway?" What's the point? Fuck it. That's where we're at. Do more and fuck it.

Yeah. I have every experience you can and just live your life. And also, I mean, we talk about this all the time, but sourcing joy is so important right now. Yeah.

It really is. No matter how big or small it is, go get a sweet treat. You know I will. Every day in bay. Do you know what I really want?

Software of ice cream. A banana split. You were close. When is the last time you had a banana split? Well, I had, okay.

I had this version of a crumbru-blade banana sundae at the restoration hardware. The restaurant in Newport, and it was fantastic. But it is with us who's specific. Well, I was listening to an audio book last night, and someone mentioned one and I was like, "Ah, whimsy."

I think about software every time I'm here because next door. But true. Anyway. Well, let's get into some hometown heroes. Boom.

[MUSIC] Apple says, "Hi, ladies. I absolutely love listening to the two of you. Y'all provide a space that allows me to gain new perspective. Supply me with new catchphrases, and just simply exist without burden.

My name is Apple's. My nickname for the sake of an anonymity. And I want to tell you in the cup in about one of the funniest bar hookup experiences I've ever had. Is it anonymity or anonymity?

What did I say? You can keep it in. You said it correctly. I just reminded of how I said it, which I've been having like strokes when I try to say. Seeing anonymity.

And I'm anonymity. That's what you said. Okay. It was the best friends, 22nd birthday, and we decided to throw a big old school style bash with jungle juice and all.

My best friend hates birdie drinks, so she decided to make her own jungle juice that consisted of three-fourths of a handle, yes, handle, not a bottle of crown, with about half a bottle of cranberry juice and a splash of triple sec. The mixture tasted like fresh death. I am definitely more of a tequila girlie, but we'll do just about anything for my

besties, especially on her birthday. So I went ahead and indulge in this ever-so-toxic drink mixture. I'm literally like, not even hungover and slightly gagging. So much that before we even made it out of the house to go to the local bar that was in walking distance from my apartment.

I was so guglyied that I probably couldn't even tell you my name, naturally upon arriving at the bar. I'm pretty sure I, oh my God, ordered an AMF. Oh, for the kids at home, if you don't know what an AMF is, it's called an audio smother fucker.

It is blue and creepy and if you have one, you will, cause it contains every type of alcohol. It's like a long island, I see. We also had one at my college bar called a trashcan, which was similar and I'm like, who's giving those out trashcan is way more appropriate, name than audio smother fucker.

If you want to sidewalk sleep, you want to sidewalk nap, then go ahead and have a drink.

“If you want to black out, now remember anything and wake up in a shower and Las Vegas,”

do it.

The void these cocktails were basically a memory loss and truth potion.

I remember small glints at the evening, but the next day my friends told me I ended up disappearing from the bar about an hour after your right. They said they found me in my comfy clothes all wrapped up in bed, so they assumed I drunk and wandered home. I was alarmed that I didn't remember going home, but as things started to click, I

would about my day. By about 10 a.m. along with a pounding hangover came a memory. When we got to the bar, we rented a VIP booth, which kind of is unimpressive and only costs like 30 bucks. We live in a small town.

Sitting at the VIP booth automatically makes this popular girls, everyone wanted to sit

So of course, we invite some boys to come over.

I remember one of them chatting, it up with me and whispering pretty sexy things in my ear. Keep in mind that upon them entering the booth, I was interested in his friend, not him. When I just may, I remember going out to one of the two balconies at the bar, there is

a public balcony and a private one for the VIP. Even though we were in fact sitting in the VIP, we went to the public balcony where I proceeded to perform oral sex on him. What? Following that, we somehow ended up going back to my apartment, walking distance to do

the business. Just as things were getting spicy, in drunken babbles, straddling this man, right

“in between a kiss, I said, "What about your friend?”

Does he want to join us?" I'm definitely not a three-way type girl. Trust me, I've tried. I just was very attracted to this poor man's friend. Of course, the experience quickly came to a halt.

I can't, for sure, remember if this is why he left, but I definitely remember him abruptly pulling his clothes on and bouncing right after I made that comment. Hello, I can be such a hoot. Anyway, sorry if the length and I'm happy to report that I've not scared off any more men with insensitive comments during the deed.

Thank you girls for everything you do, fighting the regime, and just being good humans in general. Thank you for reading, if you choose, and fuck ice, with the up-mote disrespect, apples. You are wild, you're fun, you are a who, in a half, and I said, "Did that man think that it was necessarily your relationship was going to go anywhere after the public

balcony?" I don't know, I'd be like, "Come on, pal, jump on in." Honestly, you know how I feel about it. She's a given to him, an AMF, and an M-M-M-F, and an Eiffel Tower. Male male female, if you don't know.

“Oh my god, Nickstad, stop listening, we know.”

Don't eat. Thank you guys, we were at the beach, and Nick's Nick was like, "Hey guys, my dad just wanted to say that he left the most recent episode where he learned a lot about golden showers." And I was like, "I love your parents, why are they listening?"

Happy birthday, Tony. Today, that we're recording and starting to burn things, so happy birthday. Happy birthday, Tony. Happy birthday, I'm so sorry, they just hurtled that my god. Anyway, wow, apples, wow.

All right, he knows who says we are the champions, hello to my favorite pair of riot daysies. I love that for us. Wait, riot daysie is so cute that she'll be a band name. Okay, we're gonna adopt that now.

Yeah. We are the riot daysies. I'm Nino Scoop, an ounce Nino Scoop. I've written to you once before, as anonymous, but this time I'm staying with my whole chest.

Two years ago, you gave me great advice regarding a friend group I was over investing in.

I finally stopped watering those dead plants, and has been such a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Thank you for taking our nice. Now from my hometown here on story, on a Monday afternoon, two years ago, my husband and I were in LA celebrating our seven year wedding anniversary. We like to play restaurant slash bar roulette game when we're in a new area. Lucky us, we ended up at an edgy Chicago themed high-dive bar, equipped with must-visit crane

machine. To our surprise, the machine was filled with various stuffed animals, fuzzy dyes, and a single lonely deal though. The bartender informed us that we, if we successfully, successfully, that if we successfully fished out the boop noodle, okay, you are just full of little, you are a boop noodle.

You are whimsy personified. Wow. I'm very impressed. If we fished out the boop noodle, boop noodle, if we fished out the boop noodle, we would gain special access to an exclusive party called Cocktoberfest.

Naturally, we accepted the challenge after eight hours, and forty-three dollars worth of Venmo support from friends and family. We finally grabbed the hextick by the balls. When you win, you can either take the trophy home or trade it for a support your local dive bar t-shirt.

I love that shirt. I took the shirt, but a photo of us holding our wobbly trophy, stolen hangs on the wall with the rest of the 2023 Cocktoberfest champions.

The party itself was unforgettable, an amazing night surrounded by fellow crane machine champions,

a pita steam poke a band, and a weiner winter mall mount to showcase us champs. If you ever want to beat boredom or earn some hilarious bragging rights, I highly remit recommend stopping by for frozen Irish coffee, yum, a tasty hot dog, mmm, and it turned on the dickly crane machine.

“The bar is, do we want to get keep that or do we want to do that?”

I think we should get keep that. Okay, thank you for all the labs you provided, and the no-nonsense energy you shine bright for all of us here at the Coven. More of the story is to grab life by the balls, and most importantly find so much fun to spend hours trying to do just that, attach you find a picture of us champs, display inside

the machine. Oh, hell yeah, amazing, amazing, we're proud of you. If your brain is already at full capacity with todoos and errands and birthdays and that dinner plan for Tuesday, let's skylight calendar handle the rest. It sinks your entire family's schedule onto a sea digital display so you can focus on more

important things like remembering where you left your coffee. I forget about everything at this point in life, like I used to be so good to remember in plans. I just would just naturally have this like mental calendar in my head and just lock things

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I would have been a terrible pilgrim. I legit cannot remember anything unless it's on my skylight calendar.

“No, I'm honestly deeply obsessed with this skylight calendar because it has both mine, and”

then also with Nick's like touring schedule, it makes it like really convenient to know where he's at all times. All in one place. Skylight calendar was designed to connect the digital and non-digital worlds while bringing families together.

It is a Wi-Fi connected digital display that showcases your family's schedule with clarity, color and brilliance, and either a 10 or 15 inch HE touch screen. This all in one smart calendar sinks seamlessly to Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, Outlook, and more giving you customizable views for daily, weekly, or monthly planning. We'll be able to manage events, chores, and grocery lists while assigning colors to each

of your family members, and eliminating excuses of not knowing what they need to do. With the free skylight companion app, you can add or update events, lists, and much more on the go. Your happiness is skylights happiness, so if in 120 days you are not 100% thrilled with your purchase, you can return it for our full refund.

No questions asked. Right now, skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to my skylight.com/disrespectfully. Go to my skylight.com/disrespectfully for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That's m-y-s-k-y-l-i-g-h-t.com/disrespectfully.

Okay, this is the Vitamin Company that finally understands that women are not a one-size-fits-all.

Exactly. Whether I'm dealing with period stuff, trying to feel more balanced day-to-day, or just wanting my supplements to actually, I don't know, make sense for my bod. Parental has something designed for where you are right now, not just a generic multivitamin situation, and I really trust them because Parallel is the first OBGYN-founded Vitamin

Company, like actual doctors who specialize in women's health created these formulas based on research and real clinical experience. They also have daily powders that do way more than the basics. Their protein powder isn't just protein, it's protein plus fiber plus creatine. The greens have antioxidants in fiber, even the hydration powder has electrolytes, collagen,

and hyaluronic acid. Zoom multiple jobs at once.

Everything is third party tested, backed by research, and designed for every stage of a woman's

hormonal life. From menstrual health to fertility to pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, and everyday wellness. Exclusive for our listeners, new customers can enjoy 20% off their first order with code, disrespectfully. Visit Parallelhealth.com/peer.pl/h-e-a-l-t-h.com/ Lately, I know this doesn't sound like me, but I've realized that when my energy dips

are a feel off, it's usually hydration-related, not sleep, not coffee, hydration. Drip drop is my go-to fix. Drip drop is Dr. Developed, proven fast hydration that helps your body and mind work better, which is exactly what 2026 units. Think clearer focus, better energy, elevated mood, even that fresh skin glow.

Drip drop uses science-based formulas for rapid hydration, so you feel the results faster while getting 3 times the electrolytes of leading sports drinks. Drip drop is trusted by firefighters, medical professionals, and over 90% of top college and pro sports teams, because it's engineered to hydrate you faster and more effectively than water alone. And it's fun to say.

Drip drop also just dropped zero sugar plus.

“A breakthrough formula with an advanced blend of six key electrolytes, 15 essential vitamins”

and nutrients, and no sugar or artificial sweeteners. It is the complete package that truly checks all the boxes and then some. And it honestly tastes amazing. There are 16 original flavors and 8 zero sugar options that fit seamlessly into my routine morning post workout or midday slump.

My personal favorite is obviously the strawberry lemonade.

To make it easy, Drip drop has flexible subscription options, so you're never stuck

without proven fast hydration. Whether hitting the gym, juggling work, or just trying to stay consistent with your spring reset. Right now, Drip drop is offering podcasts listeners 20% off your first order. Go to dripdrop.com and use promo code disrespectfully. That's dripdrop.com promo code disrespectfully for 20% off.

Stop up now at dripdrop.com and use promo code disrespectfully. In on him it says, I love listening to this podcast Wednesday and Friday mornings. It's like you're ready to conquer my day. Katie, seeing you loving hard and being loved and returned makes my heart happy. Dana, I would love to smoke a ciggy with you.

Have you ever find yourself in North Carolina on a, let's say, disrespectfully podcast to her, manifesting it. You guys keep me laughing and it's truly like chatting with my friends. Hopping right in with this hometown hero story. On my 18th birthday, I celebrated at a popular honky talk in Charlotte called

Coyote Joe's with your baboys I barely knew from a town over. One of the guys really caught my attention we started hanging out.

“He lived in a trailer with his roommate who was kind of sketch and honestly I'm not even sure”

where he worked. Their place was kind of a party pad.

Canon event, I fear. One night he even played a song and saying, you look wonderful by Eric Clapton. I was so naively impressed. Being that I was only 18 and I was a little bit green about sex. I wasn't a virgin but not experienced whatsoever.

Several times he spent the night together he would go down on me and hum while he did it.

“It was weird, quite distracting but not the worst feeling and I think somewhere along the way I was like,”

well, maybe he does this since he's a musical guy. We would do all the forplay. I'm talking about completely naked ready to go and right before we got down to business. He would turn over and use a pocket pussy on him. And I believe me as I was more willing for intercourse.

He assured me that it wasn't me or anything but this always happened.

We never fully had sex. Everything was a great accept that part. In our young era of life moved on and quickly so eventually we stopped hanging out. Our thing was quickly over as soon as it started. Fash 4 or 20 years my husband and I finally get a date night and decided to check out an open

mic at a local venue. We ordered drinks and focus our attention to the stage and I couldn't believe it. Standing there playing guitar was the hummingbird. This is the pussy pocket. It was the pocket pussy.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little 20 years later.

Still musically talented.

I didn't mean to call it a pussy pocket pussy. I mean you got whatever you want. Has anyone ever hummed while going down on you? I don't think so. I think that's a you might have had an original experience.

I can't see how that would be enjoyable. Yeah, maybe it gives it a little um like I'm thinking there's this scene. It's like it's like when your vibrator's dying you know. Hundred percent. Who's just barely like okay can we talk about how stressful that is in an experience?

You know you have like 15 seconds like and you're like we got to we got to make this thing happen. That's definitely not a unique experience with well been there.

“No that's the worst and then you realize they're all dead and that you need to be more diligent about”

charging but anyway I think that I it reminds you that scene from private parts we haven't seen this with Howard Stern where he makes this woman like straddle a big speaker and he has her turn the base up and he's like oh boom boom boom. So what I don't think it would be as intense as that but I just don't get and I'm not we're not here to Kingshame but I am confused about the pocket pussy part.

If you're about to have sex with an actual maybe that is like weird like work around for abstinence. I don't know the other day I thought of you because I I think I sent it to you. On a little bit of a left turn. So they were like you know I see my I was going to down on myself. You know how we're talking you know talking about soaking along to you yeah they were like more people playing guitar and one of them was holding the guitar and like the friend was like

moving the hand. Anyway if you don't know what soaking is go look that up that's an OG. Give it a good go. Layout might have even been here. I do remember this conversation. That was that wasn't the early date. That was an OG convo. Okay Nathan says we got a male listener we love you male listener. Hello ladies it's me from Minnesota again sorry I didn't introduce myself on the last email. My name is Nathan and I have been wanting

to share the story with you guys for a while. I kept trying to shorten it and edit but this is what I got. I love your pod. It seriously feels like I'm talking to my best friends in my car. Thanks for creating this space. So here's my story. It is very long but it's very entertaining.

“Okay that's what she said. Settle it. That's great one. I grew up pretty sheltered in a small”

town of 225 people. That's ridiculous these months. What? That's so small. So I was pretty much the

talk of the town when I came out. I eventually escaped to Minneapolis and finally got a taste of

what the world had to offer. That first year of living in Minneapolis I met a guy at Pride. We clicked right away. On the couch he lived in Ohio. We kept in touch and when he invited me to Columbus for a concert my newly independent brain said absolutely why not? Road trip. Normally I would have told my parents but this time I kept it strictly classified. The only person who knew was my roommate slash cousin slash bestie because my parents had known they would have said absolutely

not. And like the loyal mama's boy I am I would have folded immediately but I was 23 23 living in the big city paying at least some of my own bills. The world was my oyster. My oyster with anxiety but still my oyster. But I was extremely naive and one bad decision away from a documentary but detail. So I packed my bag printed out my map quiz, burned my CDs and hit the open road like I'm staring in a low, starring in a low budget coming of agenty film. The trip is going

great and those down music blasting around 2 am I hang up with my bestie and right before she hangs up she says with a creepy singing song tone to her voice. I'm getting up that tire. What a wild thing to casually speak into the universe while I'm actually driving toward Gary and Diana and it placed nobody should ever experience after dark. Let alone will stranded alone. And wouldn't you know as I'm exiting for Gary I hear it. Blah, blah, blah. The official soundtrack

of bad decisions. I started spiraling immediately, art racing, so leaving body fully commenced I'm about to become a date line episode. Then I see a rest up ahead and I'm like survival mode activated.

Well the gas station slash truck stop looks scarier than the side of the road. The woman

“working behind the bulletproof, proofglass with bars and sliding drawer like I'm visiting Hannibal”

Lecter is absolutely no help. I explain my situation. She gives me nothing. Not even vibes.

I do however discover that I do have a spare tire. Amazing. I do not have a jack though,

tragic. So I'm officially standing, stranded, exhausted and absolutely still refusing to call my parents because I'm 23. I can handle this. And then I have a great idea. Terrible idea. But in my mind genius, it's 3.30 a.m. I step out of my 2004 Audi A4 fully dressed like an Abercrombie model. Hey, it was a job. Okay, flip gloves on, ripped jeans, and a tie. That's Abercrombie T-shirt. With enough fierce colon on me that the bug dropped dead once they came somewhat close to me.

I can just thank you for paying that picture. I look over at the semi as parked at the truck stop. They're all running in my dumb little brain goes, well they must be away. So now I'm walking up to some random semi trucks in the dead of night knocking on doors hoping for a jack. Instead, I received wrong truck. What the fuck? Not into that. One guy didn't even open his door and yelled, I didn't order anything. The responses had me confused. I was asking for a jack. I'm

not here delivering anything. Wow, you are naive. After five doors slammed in my face, I finally decided this wasn't going to work. So I slinked back into my car defeated and finally called my parents. My mom answered and I told her I had a flat and she told me she would tell my dad and

hell come help me. I told her I was kind of on a road trip. She didn't care. My dad was amazing.

He would have driven anywhere to help his kids out, but she thought a road trip to Duluth or something northern Minnesota like three hours away. So when I told her I was in Gary, Indiana, she was at a loss for words. So instead of my dad coming to help me out, they gave me their credit card numbers so I can call it the tow truck like a grown adult I pretended to be earlier. tow truck shows up. Spare gets put on. My dignity does not and I go off. Me and my outie, writing it,

don't act toward Columbus. And honestly, I had the time of my life. So worth it. Also, my dad told me I could use his car to buy a whole new set of tires for the way home. Love you all. Oh, MPS, 10 whole years went by before somebody explained to me what a lot lizard is. When they told me my mouth dropped to the floor and thanked whatever or whoever was watching me that night because things could have turned real bad if I didn't get those dorms slammed to my face.

No, you're lucky duck for that. So lucky, but damn, also your parents are really nice.

“You should have just told them. This is one of those experiences in life where like,”

wow, I can actually have it and I don't relationship with my parents. Because I felt like that way too when I was like living on my own and I thought, I feel like, oh, even if I was planning to take a trip, I was like,

I felt like I had to tell my mom. It wasn't a suit. I was asking a permission, but I was always

scared that she was going to like talk me out of it or something. Yeah, and I mean, I'm sure she would have. She didn't. Quick story about being now even tires. I was 26 and I had gotten my first big girl car and it had run, run flats on it. So you can run something over and it basically gives you like 50 or 60 miles to get somewhere to your, your tire won't deflate. I was told they were run flats bought this car for myself. You know, I bought it myself. Tire basically exploded.

Like I was like, oh, that must be a run flat. It's it looks pretty flat. So I thought it was still run flat. I thought it was still run flat. I drove several miles including on a freeway to go get my car to a dealership. And I was like, oh, it's a run flat. And the guy's face went ghost white. And he was like, did you drive here on this? And I was like, yeah, so anyway, I'm lucky that I didn't get in the serious accident, but we're all naive in our 20s about cars.

Wow, I see, I don't, I wouldn't know. I'm still nived to this stuff. So I was like, huh, that looks like a normal flat. It, it was. So anyway, yeah, made it out to you. Sarah says, "Hi, Kevin, back in February, Dana mentioned how the rates of colon cancer younger adults are skyrocketing. With my recent diagnosis of stay true colon cancer, I want my fellow cover members to be physically and mentally strong enough to take down the fascist pigs, fight patriarchy and show

we can, in fact, flourish if we take care of each other." Sorry, this is long. I'm not trying to be

“alarmists, but it's an extremely important topic everyone should understand. A quick backstory.”

I am a 40 year old, very active, healthy individual heats lots of fiber, is nutritionist, and personal trainer, and has a degree in public health, and very educated on chronic health conditions. In the fall, I started experience digestive changes. Abdominal pain and bloating. I would, it would come and go so I didn't think too much of it, but after two months, I finally asked my PCP for referral to a gastroendynologist. My gastroordered a colonoscopy

blood work and stool tests right away. The colonoscopy in January showed I had a large tumor growing in my sigmoid colon, the area right before you wrecked them. To stay, I was shocked and confused with an understatement. More blood work and CT scan and eventual surgery within four weeks. I'm just over two weeks post-op, just received my grading, stage two, no lymph nodes, impacted,

of short-term chemo. I'm one of the lucky ones. Despite being one of the few preventable cancers, young adults are the only population group experience and increase in colorecto cancer, and currently the deadliest cancer among young men, the second deadliest among young women,

cases in adults under 50 are rising by 3 percent annually. The current recommended age of a

colon cancer screening with a colonoscopy is 45 years old. If you are under 45, regardless, if you have risk factors, you can still be eligible to have insurance cover a colonoscopy. If you ever tell your doctor one of your parents, or a sibling has had a pre-cancers or

“cancer's pilot. Should you have to lie to get screening done? No, but this is the United States.”

Report any digestive systems you have, it doesn't have to be bleeding or extreme pain, like other cancers, it can be very quiet until it's not. Unexplained weight loss, fatigue, bloating, digestive changes, loud digestive sounds, and mild abdominal pain can all be signs of colon cancer that require a colonoscopy on the spot. I know colonoscopy prep anesthesia and getting a camera up your butt sounds dreadful, but the prep is the only awful part, trust me. Trust me

when I say I was doing colonoscopy prep and getting a camera up your ass for 15 minutes as far easier than surgery and or chemo. The at home, colon guard tests cannot accurately detect pre-cancer's polyps, only active cancer and blood in the stool. I know I will be okay, our pathetic president will not elive me and I will be here to spit on his grave and celebrate with a small glass of champagne. Take care of yourselves, we all need you, cheers, come in. Sarah.

Sarah, thank you so much for sharing that. I obviously were rooting for you. I know you're going to be okay too, and also I love that every time I get discouraged, I'm like, "God, I'll live that man." But it's such a good reminder that you can be totally healthy, but you really need to listen your body. Yeah, I say knowledge is power, getting, you know, annual exams, just staying on top of those things, be so that way you can hopefully catch certain things that are preventable

that can be treated before they turn the worst. And also in the United States, because our healthcare

“system is so fucked up, advocating for yourself is really important. If you know that something's”

wrong and you're hearing a no, go to another general practitioner. Exactly. Okay, Casey says, "Hey ladies, such a big fan of you both and love you so much. I just had to share a recent experience I had in a gate club. I went to my local gate club for a drag show. I got there early in case it was going to be packed and had been waiting for my friend. I was sitting at a high top with two stools when a man who looked like he was tweaking on something approached me. He

asked if the seat was taken. I told him, "Yes, my friend would be there for any minute." He says, "Why won't be here long?" And decided to sit next to me anyway. He would not leave me alone so I started panic texting my friend. He was literally five minutes away when a woman ran up and hugged me. She whispered, "Do you know this man and do you want me to save you?" I said, "Yes, please." She looked at him and said, "This is my girlfriend. We're going over to our table."

She happened to be at the club by herself and told me that she had been watching that man harassing woman the whole time. She was there. Multiple people came up to me after the fact and asked if I was okay and eventually the man was kicked out. The woman who saved me told me she was trans which I was delighted because my niece is trans as well. This is just another example of why we must protect trans people and support our sisters and not just our sisters. This was definitely

long but I hope you read this from Casey. I love women. I love women and also it's always

we always say this when people are like it's long and it's perfectly insolated. We as women need to be looking at each other always. I love hearing those stories. It's not just about you're looking up for your friends. Just be aware of your surroundings for others and I feel like that karma puts it out there that we're all doing. We don't recognize when someone is having an experience with somebody that is unwanted unpleasant. We all have been there so you know what this

looks like. If you ever see that, just be that person that can go save them. Look out for each other.

“Love that wonderful story to end on. Hey, do you think we should solve some problems?”

I've never felt more ready for anything in my life. Oh my god. Okay, let's do a little dub dub D.D. And on my says, hi, Katie and Dana. I love listening to you both every week and you always have me smiling like a psychopath on my commute on the train. Keep being you. I'm sorry this is a bit long. Hopefully it will still be worth it to read. I need advice about a situation with one of my closest friends. I've known her from us 20 years and she's my only friend I still have

from high school. We are super close growing up and even live together but things feel different now. We both started dating our current partners around the same time about eight years ago. I got

to know her boyfriend really well and they seem to have an amazing relationship. I was a bit jealous

because my own relationship was more of a slow burn and they seemed to have instant sparks. Flash forward to now, I recently married the same guy and we're currently working on growing our family. Our relationship is stable, happy and without conflict and since we both have great jobs, we live comfortably. Overall life is good. My friend on the other hand is in a much

have demanding jobs which they put everything into. To make things worse a couple years ago,

she had a pregnancy scare and ended up getting an abortion. Since she doesn't have much in the way of family, I supported her through it all. It really affected her especially because her boyfriend wasn't very empathetic about what she was going through. Yesterday I found out she's pregnant

“again and honestly I'm feeling really disappointed. They don't use production beyond tracking”

ovulation and I just don't understand how this could happen again after how hard it was for her last time. On top of that, they're on the verge of breaking up because of all their issues, I don't have time to get into. I want to support her but I felt so anxious and stressed after speaking with her. I couldn't even get out of bed for the rest of the day because I was drain mentally. I even briefly considered distancing myself but she told me how much I mean to

her and I can't just abandon her. I also feel awkward talking about my own life when things are going well for me and everything feels like it's falling apart for her. How can I protect my own piece but still be a good friend or what would disrespectfully do? I mean for some all that's just such a tough situation in general and I think that I understand your feelings of maybe even a little resentment when they weren't taking steps to actively prevent a situation that is was difficult

for them in prior years. I think that you do have to distance a little bit. I think that you can still be a good friend and be there for someone if you are in a non-attacking judgmental way explaining how the situation is draining for you and how it's impacting you and how you want to be a good friend but you also have a really hard time watching her suffer in this situation because sometimes in relationships people cannot get out of their own way and they'll stay in something toxic and

they just need to see it through. So no matter how many times you tell her, this guy sucks, I don't like what's happening with you. Look at how hard things have gotten, they're not going to

“hear it. So I think that those things in co-exist where you're still really important to each other,”

you make sure she knows that you love her and you support her but that you need to be protective of your own space. Yeah, I think as long as you're a communicative of where you're coming from so it doesn't feel like you're just abandoning her or ghosting her or something like that but I think she has to be able to understand. Even she doesn't understand that she has to be able to respect your space and your peace and that's all you're trying to do. You're not trying to

cut her off or judge her or anything like that but just that you need to put a little space between you and the situation because you care about her and you want what's best for her but there's only so much you can talk about or say without without crossing a line or hurting feelings. I also think that if there is longevity in the relationship she'll be understanding of that if she's the kind of friend that you hope that she is exactly. But I do not review. No. That's a tough one.

I'm sorry I'm not spot. Okay, Beth says good morning new glorious babes. Listening to you to is my me time every week after I drop my kids off and go sorry drop my kids at school and commute to my corporate job. Thank you for being a safe place. I can't I'm just making words. Thank you for being a safe space. Solace and shit times and hilarious through darkness. Your vibe is everything. My name is Beth and my wife and I live in Dallas, Texas. We have two children

and four-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son. Being moms is the best and hardest experience

but something we'd never trade. My daughter of D.D. is about our son. He started to potty train

and when we're out of the house we take him to the women's restroom when he goes to go. My question is when do we stop taking him into the women's restroom and start taking him into the men's. Should we be concerned about being women in the men's restroom with our son? I feel like I should mention that we've given advice to the dads in our lives that is completely acceptable to bring your daughters into the women's bathroom anytime. Generally speaking a women's bathroom is a safe

environment. I love your thoughts as women who have little kids in your lives. I know you're not mothers to human children. Yes, being a pet mom counts as motherhood. The advice never fails. Would love your opinions just specially Beth and family. I mean, I always see like I don't if it's clearly apparent with a child, I don't care what bathroom in your end. I think it's better than sending a child in on their own. I think until your child communicates to you that they

maybe want to use bathroom on their own. Yeah, I wouldn't think if I saw like a 10-year-old younger, I wouldn't think anything of it. It's a clearly moms with a boy. I think that it is a safer environment. A woman's restroom. So if he feels comfortable enough to do that on his own,

“I don't think you should have to go in the men's room either. No, I don't think that either.”

I think you'll, you and your son will know the best when it's time. But until then, like, fuck whether people think about it. Yeah, I truly don't care. Also, if you're like really weird about it, cover size when you walk. I mean, there's nothing really happening in the open

where the men's restrooms, there are. You never know. There's leaners swinging around in there,

Leia, your mom, what do you think about that? You decide? I completely agree with both of you. I mean, I wouldn't, like, send my, I feel like I wouldn't want to send my four, five-year-old, like into a bathroom alone. Like, what if I'm not with Danny? Like, of course he's coming with me. You know what I mean? And I'm not going in there. Yeah. No. No, my goodness.

Well, I open over here like, I don't never use rap. I absolutely will use a men's restroom when

there's no line. And there's a, there's a 20 minute line for women. Yes. I'm going in there. I mean, like, put your wieners away. Don't want to see that. Sometimes I don't even say that I just trudged in there. I don't think I'm doing anything. I just run in there with my eyes at the floor and just pray to God. Yeah. In and out, though, you don't want to sit there with a kid who's like learning to poop on a toilet. It's so stinky in that bathroom. Well, I'm also a, we're growing up,

so we can make that decision. But yeah, with little kids. I think, I think you keep bringing

“them with you until it's, I think you'll just know, I feel like it's looking into a thing, right?”

Yeah. I mean, I was, it's funny because I was actually just thinking, like, when do I have to stop like changing in front of him? Oh, you know, things I would never even write about that or things. I actually, I don't, when is that? I don't know. I don't know. I guess it just depends. Like, I don't know. I grew up in a naked household. I feel like people have different opinions. Not my dad, my mom. She was just like, not given a fuck all the time. So, but we're daughters. So, I don't

know. Yeah, I guess I'll let you know when the time comes. Yeah, so keep it posted. I'll keep you posted. And on him, it says, hi, disrespectfully, love the pod writing in because I feel like I'm at one of those weird life crossroads. It sounds exciting and theory, but feels awful in reality. I got fired for the first time last October, and I still can't decide if I lost something great or escape something that was quietly breaking me. The confusing part is I was really good at my

job. My team and my clients love me. I worked hard. I showed up. I was told I was on track

promotion that just never came. Instead, it turned in one of those slow-burn situations where I

managed or clearly didn't like me. She called me and texted me all hours, criticized me in front of the team, and made me feel small for doing things differently. And yet, I actually love the job itself. I worked at a plotty studio and the community, my co-workers, and clients. It all fell to line. There was also a strange dynamic where she would choose favorites, pull them in, close, blur boundaries, and then drop them when she was done. I was one of those

favorites until I wasn't. I tried to do the right thing and went to HR and even RCEO. Two weeks later, I was fired. I know I was good at my job based on how my team reacted when I was fired. Almost everyone reached out to check on me and said how wrong it felt, and that I was pushed out. It's hard not to notice that some of the worst managers of the company people doing the bare minimum were rewarded, while I was giving 110% every day, and somehow ended up being seen as a threat instead. I guess

what I can't shake is how unfair it all feels. Why does it seem like people who treat others the worst or the ones that get ahead? Since then, I've been floating. The whole experience really

messed with my confidence, mentally, physically, and even spiritually. I've always been someone who thrives

in a fast-paced environment, running things, building something. Now, I'm teaching Pilates part-time, which I do enjoy, but it doesn't feel stable or fully fulfilling on its own, and I don't know if that's because it's not enough financially or because I'm still grieving the version of my life I thought I was building. I keep applying to full-time roles, getting close, and getting ghosted. It feels like I'm doing everything right, and still getting nowhere. I'm in my early 30s,

and instead of feeling like I'm building momentum, I feel like I got pushed off track.

“And I keep asking myself, "Is this actually a setback?" or the reset that I'm just too scared to trust?”

Part of you want to go all-in-implotties, maybe even build something in my own someday, but that feels risky in a world where there's a studio at every corner. Part of me thinks I should put myself out there more, build a brand, lean into social media, but I also really value being private. It feels like every option requires me to become a version of myself. I'm not fully sure I want to be. How do I know when I keep pushing in the same direction versus when to pivot completely?

How do I rebuild confidence after putting push out of something where I was actually good? And how do I sit in uncertainty without letting it convince you you're falling behind? Right now, I'm just trying to keep going, teaching, applying, hoping something clicks, but if I'm being honest, I feel more lost than excited. I love any advice or perspective. Just respectfully, a slight lost but trying Pilates instructor.

Well, talk about this before. When I was 30, I got fired from a job that I basically made my entire personality and all of myself worth and I was really good at it. I got promoted early and it was a different situation, but that was one of the most soul-crushing things I've ever experienced. I'm a rule follower through and through. So when I was fired and it did feel unjust, it totally destroyed me. So just letting you know you're not wrong and feeling anything you're feeling.

It can be so destabilizing when it's not only something that you love but that you're good at and you can tell it's unfair. I mean, me thinks there might have been a lawsuit in there, like something weird happened, especially if you put it to HR and you are still ousted,

“I'm curious the reasons they gave you. But in the interim, I think that you can kind of split the”

difference. I actually, I mean, social media is not going anywhere. I think that if you're not doing lifestyle content creation, you can stay private to in extent. You don't have to make it about like there are tons of fitness people I follow because I'm interested in their advice and watching

both of those things and also it helps when you build a brand to then if you want to eventually

open your own studio, that can that can certainly help with that leverage of social media and having those numbers. It's just the kind of world we live in. But I would say you are on track. Like stick to what you love stick to what you're passionate about. Don't give up right now because some fuck-ass studio made you feel that way. Yeah, retweet everything. I think, fuck them. You know what I mean? All these people got like, let them. No, fuck them is what you should

say. It sounds like maybe they were potentially jealous. People really like do. You're really good at it. Like it just came natural to you. I think that is a breeding ground for people to be jealous of you.

“I think like if anything, especially, you know, what's the mean you really are passionate about?”

You gotta bet on yourself. I think, yeah, start something of your own. If you have a like a community and clients who really like to, they will come to you, build it and they will come. I think you just have to kind of just keep true to who you are. Don't let this bring you to. I mean, like Dana said, like, absolutely, it would rock me too. I would feel like, oh my god, like, it might just the worst. And 20 days of breathing my entire life in my existence. For sure,

but then you gotta like shake it off and be like, that was weird. And I just think you go full seem ahead. Use this like channel this energy to to create something. Said it before. I'll say it again. We are on a rock. Go to your space. The rock is on fire and we're all going to die soon. Take the chances. Do the things. I left my day job about a year and a half ago. I was actually just reflecting on that. And trust me,

there have been times when my butt hole is tightened and things have been spooky scary. And I believe in what me and Katie are doing. We love this job. I haven't had a quote-unquote job job. And like years now. Yeah. So it's like, it's scary. It is. It's it's really scary to be self-employed, but also just because there's a lot of good movies out. It doesn't mean that someone's going to stop making movies. So in terms of your plot. Yeah, it's saturated. But I also think

“that during this time you should really focus on what would your niche be? And I think like,”

I think what things like with plotties is like, it's it's not just because there's a plot

is across the street. Like, there's some, I just put first certain studios with certain company,

with certain instructors over other ones. So I think I think what you could do is kind of do group study. If I know what people like, what they don't like about plotties studios and apply that to your planning, just so you can set yourself apart and just in cater to the people that you think you want to surround yourself with. They would coffee, but there's coffee shops everywhere, but like, you know, there's that one place that has that one donor that you like. Orange,

Mocha, Frappuccino. You know what I mean? I just, yeah, the fuck it. We believe in you. You're going to write in in a year and your life's going to be completely different. And also early 30s, we're welcome to being a fetus. Like, it's just that we need to stop putting our betrayers from you. Yeah, we're stop putting arbitrary value on whatever age. Like, start over, keep starting over. It's going, it just will. It's going to work out for you. It has to. It's going to work out because

that's, and it will. And it already has. Okay. Max says, Hi, Katie and Dana, huge fan of all things VPR, OG only and the pod. I don't know if this is a WWE or hometown hero, but here it goes. I'm begging for little ideas of whimsy to incorporate my life. For reference, I'm a military spouse of my husband deployed a few weeks ago. This is his fourth deployments since we've been together, which is only five and a half years. I'm painfully independent. And we've gone through this before.

So I'm no stranger to entertaining myself and being alone. However, this deployment has left me with more anxiety and illuminating thoughts than ever before, which has not helped for the diagnosis early. Oh, and I'm also in the reserves. Oh, in prior active duty. Okay. Wow. Well, thank you to you and your husband. I do all the things therapy has taught me. Journalying, writing, positive manifestation, hobbies, et cetera. But if I myself just a shell of

who I am going about my day-to-day life, I could go on and on about how angry I am with a situation, but that's wasted energy at this point. The biggest struggle for me is going about my normal life. Well, all that's going on in the back of my head is the shit storm overseas and my husband being over there. I know it does not serve me to have these negative thoughts, so I am really seeking

“whimsy to incorporate into my life. Well, would or what does disrespectfully do to add a little whimsy?”

Most recently, I made a tiny cat gallery wall above my cat's food bulls. I want more things whimsical and magical like that. They even re-enjoy laughter and women empowerment at a time that I'm filled with deep feminine rage disrespectly, Matt. Welcome. I think the cat gallery wall,

we need a photo of that, incredible. Get yourself a lava lamp. I can't tell you how like

soothing and therapeutic it is to look at that. Again, it sounds like you are feeling your space where it makes you happy and brings joy. That's the best way to inject joy into your life is to create a

one of those galaxy light things, that's pretty fucking whimsical. I think also like having like

little whimsical rituals that, you know, like going in, getting a fancy little tea or just having a little lunch that is whimsical that involves, I don't know, something fun and creative. I don't like go to like a Korean barbecue or something. I don't know, just something that's just like where you're like kind of making the food or I don't do that. I'm saying. Yeah. What else? Well,

“first of all, I think you are doing all the right things. Lasso basically isn't a padded cell”

and cheesy thing. So that's like you have a gallery wall. Get a fairy door. I love seeing people's fairy doors. They're so cute. Let fairies come in and bless you. I agree about this. I personally added more color and art into my home to feel those things. I think that for me, whimsy comes from spontaneity in a big way. So I love it. Anything that's like off the beaten path that you're just walking around your environment and you see an opportunity to do something,

take a glass, be silly, then just do it. I don't know. It's just about finding, finding those little moments of joy. Whatever makes you happy. It doesn't have to be some big giant thing. I think that whimsy for me often is in the little things. Yeah. I would say like baking sometimes feels whimsical, like decorating cookies, go to like one of those pottery painting class, thing or the color of my mind. I think anything that can involves like a level of creativity,

like an using your mind. I love those diamond painting things. I've been working on one for about a month and it takes so much time, but it's just it's just nice and therapeutic and it gets my mind kind of like off of things and onto other weird random things, music, like playing like records. Yeah, but the spontaneity of it all too. But you're doing the right things and I'm gonna really know what your dad's instrument. Yeah. Play a didgery do. I don't know. I just think

that you're correct about the whole divine feminine rage and us just having to all get through it, but you're on the right track. Yeah. Keep going. Google it. So what is wind? Yeah. I'm going to save picture of the cat wall. I love that. Sarah says, Dear Dana and Katie, love you gals and the pod so much. The balance of realness and levity that cheave is perfect and makes me feel like I'm yapping of my best pals. Thank you for being you. Now to my question, should I leave

New England to move to Seattle? I've lived in Durant since coming here for college in 2009 and have been so overtly. I started a new summer job, which is crushing my soul and the dating scene as a lesbian in my mid 30s is going to send me to really grave. I feel that sister. I love this state, but part of me feels like it's time for a change. I'm proud of the little life I've built

in Vermont and I have so many amazing friends here that I worry I'll read leaving. My sister and

partner live in Seattle and I visited enough to know I like it there. But I know living there would be different across country. We have such a huge decision, but I keep thinking maybe I need an

“attitude adjustment and to try a little harder to make things work in Vermont. What should I do?”

Thank you for reading this and any input. I mean, we talk about this all the time. I think if you have the opportunity and the means and you're not feeling right, get the wickles out. Go somewhere weird. I also think that it's totally fair to put a deadline for yourself to decide. Like, okay, if in three months my life hasn't changed in this way, I'm going to I'm going to roll the dice and do it. You do need to know about Seattle that nine months out of the year. It is

drizzly. So if weather is a big thing for you, I don't know as much about Vermont. I hear they have great syrup. You just keep in mind that if you're able to handle that, but if you feel like you're being called to someone else, especially if you already have someone out there, you have your sister and her partner. I think absolutely go for it. I think that do keep in mind. I've moved to three cities in my life and as an adult and don't necessarily do it thinking the dating situation

is going to improve. Look, as we did, yeah, it's held up. It's held up here right now. I'm definitely

“experiencing that in my 30s and I think that you just have to go with it for other reasons. Like,”

that can be a factor, but it should be something more globally in my personal opinion, because every city is going to have its challenges. There's this Seattle freeze, like, there's just different dynamic. So just know you will face other challenges, but if you're feeling called to go somewhere and you can go. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be the same game different field. So if the if you're looking to change up the environment and then you, then by all means go, I just say, yeah,

bucket, do it. Do it. It's also such a privilege to be able to move. Like, I've never been to either

place, but like I say, yeah, Vermont gets snowy. So I imagine you could handle some rain. Why not? Just say, why not? And I think I think maybe go for an extended stage. You can kind of feel like what it would be like, if your sister lives or you probably have been there, but like, go for more than like a weekend, like try to like go for like a full week and just not have like touristy things planned or like going out, just see what life would feel like if you were to wake

up there and have like a normal day that you'd have at home. And if you really want to scope the dating scene, set your location to Seattle on hinge and check it out. I think like that great

If you lose the moment, you might lose a lot. So why not? Wow. That's beautiful. Do you make that a true sign? No, no, no, no, no. Hilary Duff that I love. I'm kidding. Love her lately.

“Okay, well that's what we have for you. Let us know what you decide. Okay, one more.”

Anonymous says, Hi, ladies. I'm 34 years old and would love to get y'all's perspective on the baby dilemma. Basically, I'm approaching that biological time in life where I have to seriously consider if I want to have a child. I'm married and my husband and I are on the fence.

I've never thought of myself as somebody who would become a parent. In fact, for a long time,

I have been vehemently against motherhood. I know my trauma has shaped my perspective on becoming a mom, focusing on the negative, so many terrifying what ifs and the loss of control of changing my whole identity. Then there are the rational reasons, like giving up independence and locking myself financially, physically and emotionally into life form, which there is no turning back, no matter how hard it may be. Some present day context, my husband is a medical resident. He will

be an attending physician in three years. We are both around 37. We have two high energy dogs that require a lot of exercise and have been renovating our house ourselves for years. I just feel like our lives have been go-go-go for so many years and have been in survival mode keeping everything together. I struggle to note that my whole life has been one big dissociative era. I'm finally getting good therapy and I'm feeling embodied and safe for the first time in my life. My biological

alcohol window will be closing, just as we're finally approaching a time in life where we have more time money resources to just be. I just can't imagine going right into having kids after just sorry, I just can't imagine going right into having kids just a couple of years after that, especially if I'm not even sure it's something I want. I also know I am incredibly avoided of decision-making and terrified of making the wrong choice, hello my OCD. But if I'm locked into an old mindset of self-protection

and I am afraid of taking risks that could ultimately be the most rewarding and special experience. I know I'd be a great mom, but will I be the happiest version of myself? Y'all are both child-free at the moment and have your own histories and processes around making those decisions. I would love to get some advice and insight from your perspectives. Sorry, this is so long and sorry if this is already a dev.DD you've covered. He'll have you buy an anonymous. We've covered

this in varying ways and different angles and approaches. I think in the best advice I've gone from

everyone from people 11 kids to people that do have kids. They said if you are not 100 million truly

“positively sure, the answer is no. Like don't do it. Like you have to you have to know with absolute”

fucking certainty that you want children. Everything included that you said that because you are absolutely correct and then there's probably some of you haven't even thought of. So I think if you're not there yet, don't rush into that decision. What will be will be, if you're meant to have kids and you decide one day that that is unequivocally what you want, then do it then and I think the universal hand of the rest. I understand that being like rushed, but like I don't know. I think

people are having kids later in life. I understand the pause of not wanting to go from like being in a stress bubble to then just having kids because yeah you don't get a moment to breathe. So I think that's my advice when I stand on things. I am not 100% sure even that I want kids and want that

life. I feel very great. I've never had that poll and that eight inside of me to be like to want

children. So that's that's my process. Couldn't agree with you more. I was going to say hot take.

“You should not have children unless it's 110% it shouldn't if you're even on the fence. I think it”

can define that child's life. It can define your life. I am not at all in the business of discouraging anyone who wants to have kids. That's amazing. It is. It's a special rewarding, incredible experience. But there's a lot of suck that goes in having kids. You get those experiences. You get those milestones. Like the long term having a family grow, seeing what they become in life. But it is also really, really, really hard. And I think that I see too many people that are way too fast and loose

about having kids that don't necessarily think all those things through. And it is, you know, it can be a really difficult thing that ends up happening in your life. As opposed to just this like I think mother heard especially because women are pressured to have children. It's super romanticized whereas look at the brass tax of what it actually looks like. So if you wake up one day and you're like absolutely, I know unequivocally I need a baby then absolutely do that. But until that point. And this is

coming from someone who used to say that I was put on earth to be a mother. I so much has changed in my life in the past few years that I and the same way I really don't know. And until I did I I've

said what will be will be. I want to some of the even question I just said was a student that would

“be the trajectory of my life. But when I when I got divorced and I was like face to like kind of like”

look at my life and from a different perspective I was like do I really want that and and I've just

like become more certain the day that like I really don't think I do. I really don't think well I say

“every day. Sex and cities are documentary and there's a whole thing about shoulda coulda woulda”

and carries like do we think that we want marriage and babies or do we think we should have marriage and babies? Why are we shooting all of ourselves? Why are we shooting? Don't should all over yourself.

“Yeah. I would listen on that. Yeah I think that's a good place to end it. All right. All right well”

that's episode. Love you guys until my second weekend. Okay love you bye and love you bye.