Ask, Tell, Confess: Guys, We Bleached Our Bholes

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chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details. Hello, friends. We are back and full effect at the kitchen counter for Ask, Tell, Confirm. Thank you guys for tuning in. We'll be back in our studio next week. So you guys only have to, actually some of you guys said you loved the kitchen counter and then some of you guys were like, I missed the

old set. So a lot of people really thought this was like more personable. I got it. Yeah, I know. It's giving. It's giving Shane and Matt. I get it. Yeah. What did you say? We needed to clear up the seat this week. I forget. Oh, we were off season. Yeah. Everyone was like, you guys just stopped doing Ask, Tell Confess. We were off season. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we have to take a break in between and kind of switch it up. We're also not going to do long breaks anymore though. I think that's

what people are confused about. We used to take like an entire month off. Now we're just going to sprinkle them through the year. So it's more consistent. Yeah. Well, that and also we got to make sure that you guys yearn for us. We do love when y'all yearn for us. So here we are back with another Ask Talk Confess. And what is today's topic? It's late at night here. I want to know your guys is worst date slash hookup. And you guys submitted some really good ones on that. If you want

to submit to Ask Talk Confess, go over to our Instagram. They will be on the screen right now.

“Jason, insert everyone's Instagram's over us right here. We're done. And yeah, that's how you”

submit just DM us or we sometimes ask in our in our stories. So we ask you guys tell and then we confess on here. All right. I'm ready to kick it off because I also did ones. Okay. All right. I think this person wants to say anonymous, but she said he was hitting it from behind and told me to arch my back. I arched it up like a hunch. No. The other way. She said I'm still traumatized 13 years

later. Needless to say it was my first time doing doggy. That's crazy. It was all tailbone. She was all tailbone.

moment and lose me? No, I would leave. I would. I'd be like bent over calling my Uber.

When you go that opposite way. Yeah, bro. Yeah, funny. So that was that was how the one I wanted to kick it off for. Yeah, that was nice. That was good. No, I got a good chuckle a few times. I got it. Because that's something fucking weird. We would do it. Tasha shoulders forward. Oh my god, dude. This was this was a really short one. We cannot film like a night. No. We filmed late at night. This fucking happens. Dude, I'm not going to look at you. I go. No. Right.

All right. Wait. Okay. This was short and sweet. Give me two seconds. Not like a pukening guy's mouth at a bonfire while Alan Jackson Chad Hoochie was playing romantic. I kind of like it. Did he swallow his spit out? Did he spit out? Did he spit her swallow? Which one was it? I don't know. I'm during the

“versia court. You guys do that's how many inches it was. It was a during the it gets hotter than a Hoochie”

Hoochie. Because that would be memorable. That's a hard, that's a hard pick. That's a really hard pick. Oh, yeah. I couldn't, you know what, if someone, I don't know. I don't want to talk about pukening

mouths. I'll throw up right now. I puked on never mind. All right. Who's next? Who's next? I got one. All right,

go. Okay. Well, my vlogged and loaded baby. I got like seven. No. All right. This one also wants to be anonymous. Um, went to this guy's house for the first time. Um, ended up being a nice fifth wheel trailer. No biggie, not uncommon for the area I live in, kind of. Uh, got my world rocked for him to proceed to one and talk and cuddle. And he tells me about how he's always wanted to kill a person. I sent my location to my sister so fast as I'm trying to get dressed. He puts on a gun holster

that goes around his shoulders as if to hide it under a jacket. It has a 45 in it. He was

“butt-ass naked by the way. He then proceeds to do the helicopter while still wearing the gun and”

holster. We don't have a helicopter. He does. Okay. It was close to me. I literally didn't ask for his number. Like everything was all that was hot. I thought she's going to get killed. Yeah. Yeah. He starts fucking swinging his dick around. There's nothing hard about that. That don't scream at the elephant trunk. Like nobody wants to see that. Guys, I just wanted to do that. You guys want me to find the video. I have a video of

I'm doing it. No, literally put it in the chat. And it's in slowmo. Even worse. Even worse. So you can see like a star. Do you have a helicopter? Yeah. Absolutely. Why don't men like do not? It's like, I don't know. No, I would do that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

It's a sound. It's a sound. It's a sound. But when you're like trying to get it in a circle, like I'll fire a dozen or titties, like no. Nobody wants to fucking see that. Yeah. What is the thing with the helicopter? Uh, helicopter's cool, but the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the fire hit. That sounds cooler. Yeah. I like to call that the Dingle Hopper. The Dingle Hopper. Yes.

I like to, I like to, I gave it a nickname long. You're so crazy. All right. Here we go, guys. I got one. I hooked up with this girl in Hollywood once. And she was so adamant about me doing Coke with her, which I didn't do. She wanted me to put Coke on my dick and hit it from the back while actually punching her in the head. I was like, you mean, like, be a little rough, right? She said, no, I literally want you to get me high and hit me in the back of

the head. Needless to say, I did 0% of that. 0% of that. And that was from our good friend, vocal hide, our little baby. Yeah. No way. Yes. Wait. It's insane. I don't know about cocaine going inside of a giant. That's, listen, I've done some crazy shit. That's a yeasty beasty waiting to happen. Yeah. I feel like your pH is going to be very awful. Oh, that's like a burn. Right. I mean, but is this the same thing as putting it in your butt hole though, like the immediate

“high? Well, that's a different high. And that feels great. I feel like, wouldn't that be the same?”

Don't do it at home, kids. Um, I don't know because I've never done it in my life. Can you guys tell

us if you've ever blown Coke into your vagina? I don't think he, she wanted it on his hog. Yeah. It's like someone's got to have that inside of them. I wouldn't have like dry you out because all the chemicals. I don't know. I can't even think about doing drugs that grosses me out, but I've done a lot of weird shit. Never done that. Remember the DARE program? Let's bring that back. Yeah. I got run and rebel fee. What was the George DARE? He was fucking part of the DARE program.

I don't remember this. I remember George DARE. No. He was a real person. I thought DARE

it was extra abuse resistance education. Oh, guys. Oh, really pay attention to DARE. No, I did it. I just made it up. Oh, I'm expensive. And maybe he was going along with you, dude. I'm going off each other. Yeah, I was again. I was like, that is not what it means. I actually have a shirt

“that's a crop top that says, DARE drug resuscitation of that. Oh, I remember the one who is it.”

Wait. Yeah, drug resuscence. Yeah. I wore the ribbon. No, I wore it. DARE drug awareness awareness resistance education. Yeah, there we go. Well, that's drug will be in the middle of a breakup sleeping separately. We were drunk. I was in my room and I woke up to my finger being moved around and it felt like it was being shoved into food. But when I woke up, his drunk ass had my whole finger in his asshole all the way up to the knuckle, moneen so heavily. Like I had to wrap my head around it. The

finger was never the same. I tried not to make him feel bad because I knew he was gay, but I threw

up as soon as my drunk ass woke up and realized, what was happening? I would just like the record to reflect just because you like fingers at the lawsuit does not mean that you're gay, but obviously she knew something about him. She found porn on his computer. Yes. And he was into gay porn. Yes. Well, but his friend could have sent him that. Okay, but can we not rush Pat by the fact that she said she thought her finger was in food? Yeah, that means it was wet. It was

like what the fuck was she like moving it off of bread? Like what was she literally like going up against

“a turtle? No concern. That's what I'm saying. He's a silly finger. He's doing a sleep in your”

bubble. You don't do anything if someone's asleep. Yeah, that's right. And you guys are in different beds. Yeah. So he literally snuck in and his pants now took her finger and said. He said. Guys, I'm trying to let you think. She's like flipped up a side down, trying to let me just back into it. She's putting finger out of his. Oh, hi, those nails. I sent you in. Yeah, we love how do you lean your finger down to that. What if it's under your nail? You get rid of the entire nail. Yeah.

Oh, I thought you meant finger. I would have cut it off. Yeah. My finger? Yeah. To the bone. To the bone. Just if I can take that knuckle off. Yeah. To the knuckle. Stump. Stump it up. Wow. Okay. All right, go hide me. Ready for it? Yeah, we're ready. Had no idea I got my period. Great start. We were in the dark for like an hour and it was a bloodbath.

I left and never spoke to him again and he was a professional hockey player at the time.

Ha, she put that in there. You know, I was like 19. We never even had sex. It was just a finger blast and BJs, even worse, LOL anonymous. Oh, my goodness. I don't know. I've guys are scared of blood. I get it. Like when I'm on my period the first two days, I don't want to be touched because I'm like it feels like an accident, but other than that. Fucking crazy. Other than that. I turned into Bruce. You did. How do you throw that black? That's Bruce. I'm American Psycho.

No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Stop. Sharker smells blood. Oh. I don't like it. I'm just saying if like, you know, if I'm in the mood and Brooks got me hot and bothered, I'm going there. You're fucking no matter what. I'm getting in there.

I just can't bring myself to do it the first two days. But day three, it's on and cracking. I'm ready.

Yeah, like let's go. But for day one and two, no. Like, I don't want to subject them to that. It's fucking jellyfish. Just red jellyfish falling out of you. Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought what one

“clump comes out on him. No. Okay. Wait. That's what I'm literally about to say. So, well, hmm.”

Okay. When I was younger, I had snuck into this guy's house. Oh my god. Mom, don't watch this. Mom. Susan. Susan. Don't watch this one. Skip over this part. I snuck into this guy's house and it was like his uncle's house. So we went in like the spare bedroom and we were doing it. And I didn't know my period had started. But it was like the heaviest period ever grow. Antique, like, it was like one of those antique rooms that were set up and we did it on my self-ass.

Grow white sheets. Fuck that thing up. It was cloudy. White. No, man. That's so rough. I'm a shortly sweet one. Go ahead, baby. Right. Hooked up with this guy in a booger fell in my tittie. I kicked him out of me. Lee and cry for a bit and then blocked him on everything. Oh. What? That's embarrassing. He should have manned up and like I said, don't like that. Figured it out. I knew Lee was going to hate

Like a booger? Like a booger? Like a swimming booger? No. I'm probably a shower booger because it's

it's bad. I've been traumatized by boogers for a whole bit a decade. Um, I hooked up with this guy. Oh my god. He asked me to touch his nipples and that was my assignment and I shouldn't forget it. Oh, they were incredibly long and thought. And it was weird. He was playing with my nipples and told me he paid attention to a paid attention to the left side more because it was closer to my heart. And asked me if I wanted his BBC, but it was only a B.C. Please don't post my name.

You got it. I don't know. Love it and it will keep you thinking it's not your choice.

“I'm weird nipples. I'm not fucking him. Okay. Do you think he was stretching them?”

And that's where they were so long? Oh, I don't know. Some do not have to have my nipples get puffy.

Yeah, but that's. There's a long hard day and long. Like that's, I think that's my one. No. Like if I see your nipples with long nipples, I can't. Like little fucking like darts. No, no, it's not like a pellet. No, it's like a pellet ice. You know what I'm talking about? That he said are like little logs. Oh, yeah. I mean, it would be your nipple. He goes, he's shy. Oh, show us. Show us. We need to see. Oh, for sure. Well, if you're sure, let the lady see. Oh, he's not quite in the full time. Yeah,

we're good numbers. Can I? Wait, can we wax the little wire? It was a little waxed. It was a little waxed. It was a little waxed. It was a little waxed. Okay. I'll do Dylan's lower back too.

wax party. Wax party. Oh, speaking of bubbles. Yeah, how's your going? Oh, so let's have a conversation, guys.

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initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabytes hotspot, capable device required, availability, speed, and coverage varies. Seamentmobile.com/bunny. We still have it. Sorry, it's me. He walked off. Go ahead, highman, roll that beautiful bean footage and put that clip right here. Can we lift our assholes on the podcast. Well, I'll have it put my assholes over and work back to you. Well, I guess we might just take

guys out of slathered some medical bleach on my assholes, as we speak and have a lot of stuff. Yeah, I think that's all that you're living with, like, goodnight shot. A full video of the other days didn't like coloring. Didn't like the coloring at all. Didn't like the shape. Didn't like the shoes. The bleach in our bottles, charge. Right now. Yeah, I'm just a little slow so we can

“enjoy your skin like that. Me too. You should do it right now. Yeah, I'm just eating mango.”

So I haven't checked. I've only done it once, but I'll check tonight. I'll get back to you guys. No, I'll check tonight. I'll get back to you guys. But yeah, you know, sometimes the girl needs to bleach her butt hole. It just, it has to happen. Oh, yeah, I'm having surgery tomorrow. I'll show you that. Put it on my story. Have it another surgery, you guys. Yeah, so I'm having another surgery tomorrow and hopefully I have a pretty butt hole going. Did it burn? No, it didn't burn at all and I didn't

feel anything. I was at what I will say, guys, she was sitting right here when you put your food down. But also, I talked to Moe into it and I had her been over and I put a glove on and I rub someone on her little brown hole and I bet you show me it. Huh? Moe, we just saw you. Moe. How's your butt hole look today? Can I see it? Show us your butt hole. Oh, it's me. Sorry. Sorry. I thought it was Moe.

guys know how my butt hole looks when we're back in studio. I'm excited about it. I got

cabbage when I went to go meet up with a tender hookup just trying to get it in. When he opened the door, he was five inches shorter than me. It was too late to turn around and I felt bad to just leave things went on. He went, he went to hit it from the back in the middle of that. He said, hold on. He went to his closet and proceeds to put on his platform Air Force ones and instantly I said nope. That was how getting worse and worse. He was going to grab a stool. That's what I thought it was going

for step stool. I was going for step stool. What if you looked down and you just see like on like

“he was like he's doing pop raises. That's what I'm saying. I think that's what's happening.”

You're probably got tired. He said no. No, no. All right. It wouldn't let me type the whole story.

My son was at his dad so I had a guy over that that I met on P. O. F. Plenty of things. Okay, guys. Thank you for clarifying. We had an okay night. Sex was just all right. In the morning when he went to leave, he gave me a huge way. He gave me a fuck that dude. No, don't. He's not here. My eyes got big. I was like my fault. Sex was just all right. In the morning when he went to leave, he gave me a hug and I felt something in his pocket. He had stolen my son's

body wash. So weird. What the fuck? That's what he gave for Brandon somebody off of P. O. F. Dude. He told me like, oh, that's fine. My daughter was like, you know, the SpongeBob one.

“It's got a little bubble. Oh, yeah. Oh, they're like fish. I've stolen some weird shit from”

people. I was young and what do I house party and hold somebody's retinae. I get that. That's explicit. Yeah. I saw the ring, because I had like a pimple. Have you ever stole food from someone's house? He's funny. No. Wait, food? Yeah. That's where he stole food from someone's house? No. No. We're not in Peppercie. No, no, no, no, no. I went to a buddy house and someone stole the meat out of the freezer. What? That's where my dad was. Yeah. Me out of the freezer, bro. And then I saw me

about it the other day and I remembered about it. I was like, dammit. You carried us on the only person who does it. If you have people coming over that you're stealing fucking meat out of the freezer, like, you can't trust nobody. No. That's great. The frozen goods. What if it was a good try to. It could have

“been like a sewer line or something. That's what I'm saying. Do you mean it's good? Do you mean fire,”

gaming? No. What is brother meat? It just tastes earthy. But like, what does that mean tastes earth? What's the flavor of earth? Taste like in the fucking atmosphere. I was like, what's a mid-west thing? Same with duck. Took the dish. Picked a girl up and she got in my car. We went to the drive and and started fucking. And all of a sudden I felt witnessed running down my leg. Thought she squirted. But then it smelled like shit. God, she straight sharded all over the car as well as my legs.

You got a, like, man, some of you guys are loose booties. There's a hole. Okay, I'm just going to say it because I wish I could bear down and fucking shit on somebody's leg, dude. Instead, I have to if I can go through a whole fucking rigour roll. It's a good one, man. I was like, oh my god, my muddle is tight. There's no way that I'm fucking just shitting on somebody's leg. I did get a lot of poop stories, but I felt like we were overdoing it

on the pooping on people. So I went with the puking, but, you know, they got you to pooping. I, I really did. I had an origin of sand. Sure one too. But yeah, to short one. No, yeah, I definitely had one about a sex club and some dude just shatter all over the wall. I love that shit. We'll have shot. No. No, no, no. We will see you guys next week. Back in studio. Love you. Bye. Bye bye. When you're running a business, you learn real quick that you cannot do everything yourself.

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