- Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins.
You're listening to Habits and Hassel. Press it. - Hello everybody, welcome to Habits and Hassel's solo edition. And because I haven't mentioned it many, many, many days or episodes, guys, if you can, please leave comments
and, and what else, and subscribe on YouTube. - No, you can't watch the solo that way. - We hold on, yes, I am.
We are joined, hold on a second.
We are joined by my most wonderful, what do you call yourself? - Soyol. - Soyol, exactly. My, my dear friend and sister,
well, kind of like a sister, but not, not really, we're literally, we're literally blood-related. - Yeah, we're not blood-related, but almost, Shawnee, who's here to kind of join in on the, the fun on the solo's again.
And we, so, well, by the way, so nice to have you back. - Thank you, it's so nice to be back. - It's so nice to have you back. - We missed you over here. - I love what you've done with the place.
- So, do you? - Yeah, do you really? We were at my kitchen table last time you were here. Do you know that? - I know.
- Do you miss the kitchen table?
- I think the light is nice in there,
but this is very nice, and you look so good. - Oh, no, stop it. I think you just want to have your job back. - No, look at her arms. - Oh, my God, you're so nice.
That's very kind of you. - Cool. - I work out as you guys all know, but more than that, more than just working out, you know what it is, really, more than anything.
It's, well, besides working out, it's about what you eat, 99.9% is what you eat. I talk about this all the time. I feel like when you, you can do, you can literally work out like a fee 24 hours a day,
but if you're not like watching what you put in your mouth, guess what happens. - You can wait, you can wait. Like, but I find that if you work out a lot, and you have less time to eat.
- No, when you work out, see, I find there to be a very delicate balance between how much you work out, and how intense you work out versus not work out, because the more you work out, the hungrier you get,
and the hungrier you get, the more calories you eat. So, and the more intense you work out, the hungrier you get. So, you can't really work out, you can't, people, you can't work out so much to the point
where you are just starving 23 or 23 hours a day. - No, obviously not, but as in to say, like, for me, there's just less time in the day for me to be snacking if I'm, you know, going to a Pilates class.
- For that one hour, maybe, but then you'll make up on the snacks on the way home.
“That's what I find, or you'll eat three more snacks”
because you're ravenous. Like, I get ravenous when I work out too much. So, I've had to like pull back, because this becomes like, this is like the kind of the quandary I get into, which is for my mental health, I need to work out intensely.
Like, I need to like run and do hardcore, like, hit training or cardio. That's really what kind of helps me kind of get my mind right and my mood right. But then on the flip side, I'm then starving.
And then I end up eating way more than I would normally would, and therefore it becomes this whole like vicious cycle, right? 'Cause I can't, like, I want more sugar. I want more. So, I have to like, I have to like,
I have to kind of discipline myself not to work out as intensely on that level, you know? - I'm like a steady, steady state snacker. - Oh, a steady state snacker. - Yeah. - What does that even mean?
So, I just snack steadily throughout the day, but then if I am busy doing other things, I literally won't snack. - Well, you gotta keep yourself busy then all the time. - That's what I do.
- I mean, it is good, being busy does help cut the calories. - No, it's really because, genuinely, if you don't, I mean, it's good to allocate times E and like, get your meals and stuff, but if you just don't have that much time
to sit around like snack, when I have endless hours to be on the couch, if I'm on vacation, and I'm chilling, I'm relaxing. I will inherently just eat so much more. - See, I'm obsessed over food anyway,
like I compulsively think about it on the regular, people don't think I do, but I do.
“That's why I have everything that I've kind of created”
my day around, like there's like walls and boundaries. So, that's why when you have-- - Like what? - When you have set times to eat, like, that's why I eat my lunch, I eat my dinner,
I eat my breakfast all around the same time each meal, and I exercises a certain time, because it helps monitor myself. It helps to kind of keep me on point, you know? That's, I think it's really important.
That's what I don't have that. I go like, I go crazy.
I go hog wild, basically.
- Think it also helps your digestion more too. Like when I notice when I eat regularly, you're at the same times consistently, it's better, but I just rarely do that. - I know, but that's the problem.
I think when people are not on a regular schedule, or they don't have like a particular regimen in anything in life, in their fitness, their work, wherever, that's when things can, can't get off the rails, right?
Like, I think it's really important to have structure to get to kind of get to your goals. Not just like fitness, you need,
“you need to have, you need to have a structure”
to kind of hit your goals in general.
For me, and also know what your triggers are,
and know where you're gonna fall. Like I know if I don't get my mind right, that I'm not gonna be as focused and I'm not gonna work as hard, it won't be, I won't be as efficient
with other stuff during the day.
And if I don't work out first thing,
the chances of me eating badly during the day are way higher, 'cause I'm just like, I just, I just, I didn't set myself up for success. - You do feel more encouraged to eat better after a workout. - Yeah, way more encouraged to eat better.
- You don't wanna waste the workout. I realize I feed my dog more regularly than I feed myself. - Why? - For him, it's just at the set time.
- Okay, but this is a perfect example. Before we started here, you said to me, you gained how much weight did you say you gained? - Too much, you guys. - Okay, how much 25 pounds you said?
- I don't know, 20. - Okay, why do you think you gained that weight? - But I've already lost like eight of it because you're doing what? - Working out?
- Yeah, 'cause I'm just doing what I know and eating. - And eating. - I fell in love and then I just gained weight, but you know what the final step is?
- The last time I was here when we were doing solos,
like during that era, I was also in the process of losing weight and I lost all that weight and I was looking so good and then I fell in love and then I just like, I can't help it. And then I moved to Vegas.
- Okay, so that's a really good point. - Why? - I can't do it to another. - Well, this is what happens. When people start, when they get into a new relationship,
a lot of times they gain weight. - Yes, why? - I think because you are happy and then maybe you are like socialize around food like you go for dinner.
And I spinners, you eat lunch, you stay home, you have, you maybe you like you do a lot more dinin, take out food, stuff like that and you eat bigger portions or you eat the other person's food. You're eating your food plus you're like sharing more food.
You're having more dessert. Like, whenever I'm in a happy relationship, I'm usually 15 to 20 pounds heavier.
“- No, it really is true, but I think for me,”
it's also like, I'm dating a guy
who is however much bigger than me and he needs so many more thousands of calories every day. And he'll chug like 10 liters of milk and be fine. Like, what adult drinks like 10,000 liters of milk? - He drinks like one to three liters of go milk a day
and I've been kidding. - And he'll also, he like whenever he makes his eggs, he'll add in lots of butter when he's cooking them. Like, I can't eat like that. - Yeah, you can't eat it.
- I really can't eat it. - I can't eat it. (laughing) - Absolutely good not. So I do think there is that and there is a sense
of indulgence when you're in that sort of early stages of relationship you are, you're getting all the desserts and you're this, and guys don't, I don't find that they care the same way. So they're like, yeah, like, just get up,
but they don't know until you're 20 pounds heavier. - Yeah, and then they care. - The imp, yeah. (laughing) - I don't care until it's too late.
It's like, you know, that thing is like, it's like that 1% daily until it's like, oh, wow, look what happens, you know? But that is true. - But it works also the opposite way. - So it's one percent daily in the positive.
So it's just a matter of the slow progress. But I gained and lost weight so many times. I'm very comfortable and confident in this. - Well, you know what, you know what I like? What's really refreshing in this conversation to me to be honest
is we're not talking about losing weight on a GLP one. - No, it was like, you don't have to. - You don't have to.
“- That's how you're the first person I've sat with,”
probably in two years, that's not on a GLP one. Thinking of taking a GLP one or, you know, was on one and like maybe just micro dosing one right now. - Right, everyone's doing the micro dosing. I mean, I think I had thought about it,
but I also have like, I'm just weird about thinking, like it's just taking something for this, like just, yeah, yeah, I just, you know, I think I've just done this so many times that I'm really confident in losing weight
in myself. I know what I need to do. I know that I can do it. Like, I don't feel like it's rocket science at all. - That's not rocket science.
- And I just think it's like the GLP, I mean, does it do anything to the metabolism or it just kind of helps you not? - No, it doesn't. - It's not, right?
- It just, I think it makes you keep you full. - Yeah, so I just want to keep myself full. - I just have to keep my mind full. - It doesn't make you full. - I think what it does also is it shuts the food noise.
So if you're somewhere as a lot of food noise, probably someone like me, I would probably benefit from the food noise 'cause they do have a lot of food noise and I wipe knuckle it.
So I wipe knuckle the food noise, might keep me myself on a schedule, like I was saying earlier for that. - Cool, it's hilarious. - That's hilarious.
- So I keep myself on a schedule where I don't let myself get into a certain area where I'm just gonna eat like a garbage cam because I'm starving. Like I will portion out my food
and I will eat multiple times a day and I will have things with big volume because I think volume is really helpful. If you're someone who has a lot of food noise
“and likes to eat, you need to eat big volume foods,”
like massive salads with your protein and like things that are low calorie but big volume. I used to be a massive popcorn person. - Oh, I love popcorn. - Oh, I love popcorn.
- Little nutritional yeast on top, so I like that too, so good. So like add, I think if you add volume with a fat, like a really good olive oil, that's why the salads to me are like,
that to me is the best way to keep your weight down.
Big, big, big volume salad, at least once a day,
if not twice. - Yeah, the relationship with weight,
“I think is so complicated for so many different people”
but for me, I really came to a place in this world where it's just kind of like a matter of fact. Like I am where I am and I know where I want to be and like sometimes that fluctuates and I've got into where I want to be so many times.
And of course, I've been where I don't want to be so many times. And so I just think it's a matter of taking yourself where you're at and just trudging along. And I have a lot of food noise too, but like I think that there are some mental strengths
that can sum in to be able to quiet those before potentially putting in something that doesn't respond well with me. I'm so sensitive to stuff and I'm also, I have so many problems, like I've breathing issues
and I have like my period always hurts
and I've got all these like hormones of like I don't want to, you know, I just want to add to it. - I will say one thing that will, people think that eating less
and depriving themselves of eating is the answer to losing weight and just shutting down the food noise. It's like the opposite. I think it's the antithesis
to getting to where you want to get in your goal. For me, I think feeding yourself, nourishing yourself is way, way more effective. Because I think when you're in deprivation, that's when you really kind of have that more
of a compulsive thought of eating and food and when you're going to eat and how much you're going to eat. But if you actually like feed yourself, you really do cut down on that food noise and that psychological like inks
that you have a little bit.
“That's how I think, this is kind of limiting your calories”
to under 800 for a grown-ass woman. - Yeah, there are people who, and man also, they're like, yeah, I'm eating 1200 calories a day. I'm like, how do you, how do you sustain that? Because then your body also goes into starvation mode
and then you get used to eating 1200 calories a day and then what happens is if you have 1200 and one calorie is the next day, your body holds onto what and stores it as fat. So if you actually just ate like a regular person,
so if you're, you know, and know seriously, if you ate like a proper amount of food and maybe a little bit more once in a while, it actually behooves you and it gets you way more results on the other side on the flip side.
Also, you got to feed muscle.
- I've always found that the shift,
like you're talking about and saying, what can I eat versus what can't I eat? You know, how do I nourish my body, versus like, what am I supposed to stay away from and from negative versus positive?
It's just so much more encouraging. Like, what can I eat? A lot of things. - Well, how much does it have also?
“Like, I'm obsessed with pizza and french fries, right?”
I don't want to eat them all the time because once, because I see it as this taboo food, once I do eat it, because I have trained myself, once I deprive myself for so long and then I see a french fry,
I will literally have nine orders of it. Like crazy, like, like, like, yeah, like a disordered eating person because I'm just, like, I can't believe I'm having that taste in my mouth and I go crazy. But if now if I get, like, no, okay, fine,
like I'm allowed to have french fries, you know, once every two, three weeks, then I'm much better in the portion control. Not a lot better, but at least like a, at least a little bit better.
- My boyfriend told me that pizza was a protein,
like a health food when we first started dating
'cause he just has weird heat in the day. - For him, it can be a health food, right? But like, it is not for me. - He's like, he's like a bodybuilder, no type, a bodybuilder type and anything.
- No cloning meal. - No cloning meal. - Just turns into muscle. It's like, I'm not like that. - Hold on, again.
- Your boyfriend is a bodybuilder. - Ex-bodybuilder. - A former bodybuilder. - Okay, he's chugging, you know, leaders of goat milk. - Yeah, he loves goat milk.
- Pizza, like tons of pizza. - Where is it by goat milk? - He's not having tons of pizza, but he likes goat milk. - And he acts like pizza as, like, a healthy, like, meal. - Well, maybe it's because maybe it's not eating
dominoes pizza. - No, it's a good salady pizza, but still, it's not a healthy, healthy food. - I refuse it to not a healthy food. - He also told me it went out, like, really good quality
vanilla ice cream is a health food, which I just refused to believe. So you can understand why it gains so much weight. - Yeah, don't blame you. I'd be like, how's it if I live with that guy?
I'll just say God, I'd be like, I'd be a hell of a bad guy. So where are we going with this at the beginning of the podcast? - Well, I think the idea was talking about, like, the, the, the, we don't know. (laughing)
- Well, we, we, we, we say, you know, it's a good question. We were gonna talk about a different topic, but I think what we did end up doing is talking about the topic, which is that the gym and getting healthy and nourishing yourself
and your body is actually light years better at improving your confidence than therapy ever will. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not the, the actual topic we were going to talk about is why I believe, okay, this is where the topic I was gonna say,
is that why I believe fitness is a way bigger builder of confidence than therapy or affirmations. That was the topic. - That's the point, the topic is also what I said. - But that, but that is the topic,
because what I, I feel that fitness is the gateway drug to building self-esteem, self-confidence, self-assurance.
There's no better thing that you can do for yourself
than working out for those things.
- Amen, right, amen, I think you can talk all you want all day and you can ruminate about all the things you want to be and what you're not getting and who you are, what you want to be indebted to. God bless you if you're someone who loves therapy,
but I think if you really want to really build on your self-esteem and confidence, include and/or rely on getting yourself fit and getting a fitness regimen, a workout regimen, that will get you to the finish line.
That will get you way more confidence, way more self-assurance, self-ethicacy. Because, you know, what confidence is built, I think confidence is built in reps, hard reps day after day and consistency,
then just saying how great you think you are in the mirror. You know why? - Why? - Because confidence can't just be affirmed,
“it has to be earned and the only way to earn it”
is to prove it to yourself that you can do hard things. - I love that confidence is earned. - Yeah, confidence is earned.
People, you can say to yourself a million times
in the mirror, I'm great, I'm strong, I'm wonderful, I'm wonderful, 100 times, but your brain knows what you believe is not like you. Basically, you can't lie to yourself. So if you actually don't believe those things,
your brain knows that you don't believe it. And so that can actually cause you to be more self-conscious, have less of a self-esteem, be more depressed, because you can't lie to yourself. Like if you actually believe it, and then you say it,
that's a whole different story. But you can't just like speak your way into saying something that you don't believe is true. - But I think the idea is that you give yourself a boost, like you're hyping yourself up to be those things.
And then when you take those actions to be those things, which is what you're talking about, it builds like real confidence. But the kind of-- - If it's not--
- If it's talking stages before-- - If there's no action behind it, of course. - That's bullshit. - Of course, but you can't just take action, they have to hype themselves up.
- If you can go in front of a mirror and say, I'm great, I'm beautiful, I'm strong, I'm this, I'm that. - And then you mouth in your sofa, I do nothing. - No, but there's nothing for you. - But then you walk into a meaning and you crunch.
- No, because you haven't proven anything to yourself. - No, because you're hyping yourself up. - So get the positive self-conscious. - That's true. - That's true.
- A good thing. - A positive self-taught. We're not talking about positive self-taught. That's true. I'm all about hyping yourself up.
“Like if you want to like before meeting,”
you'll go before meeting like say all these great positive things to yourself and then go into a meaning. That's fine, but before you go into that meaning and before you'd stay all those things, what have you done to prove to yourself
that you are strong, that you are tough, that you are beautiful, where you are all these things. You have to do a litany of things and habits to show yourself that you are taken care of yourself, that you do matter, that you do have self-esteem,
like what are those things? - Of course, but I'm just saying, some people need to talk to themselves to be able to do those things. - And what I'm saying is.
- They're talking to them. - They're talking to them. - Good talk, he's talking to you to the poor. - You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm saying, talking sometimes gets people
to the starting line. Sometimes people can't even get to the starting point. For you, it's easier to take action 'cause you're an action person. You're a queen bold, are you kidding me?
- Well, if you're some people, they can't even get to the room where the conversation or to the gym.
“If you have to tell themselves like, no, you're okay.”
You're strong, you're not horrible. You're not that weak, like you're fine. You can do this, you can get to the gym. And then they get to the gym. And then they take that action and then they build that real confidence.
But I understand what you're saying. What I'm saying is affirmations alone. - Of course, don't get you to where you wanna go. Therapy alone is not gonna get you there. And I'm also saying that I believe if you just focus
on working out, taking care of your body, physically, your brain will, you're serious saying. - We are brain will catch up. - Right, as in working out of work, we'll actually do things.
- Your brain has affirmations alone or therapy alone. - Right, I see, yeah, and I actually really agree with that. - That's what I'm saying. - I'm not saying, I'm not saying, you know, positive self-talk is allowasy or doesn't work.
I think it works in addition to. It's like also this manifestation thing. You can't just sit there and say,
I wanna have a million dollars,
and I wanna find my dream man, and I wanna have a red core bed, or whatever that thing is, what at, I'm really about what the steps are to get you to that point. And I think that we are talking more,
I see it a little bit more about like the action behind the manifestation, vision board, but at the same time, get it, and then in a day, it is about the action, and it's about the steps. So, you know, without that, this is all moot, you know.
And I also believe that, like I said, the fitness part has, I believe, will transform who you believe you are in what you're capable of on every level of your life,
More than anything else you can possibly do for yourself
by a landslide.
“It will shape, shift, or shift your belief in yourself,”
your sense of self-worth, what you think you're capable of,
your relationships personally, who you go after, as a mate, how you parent, all of it. If you actually see yourself transforming in that way, like physically, it will change how you are in the world, mentally, emotionally, behaviorally, and all the things.
- And her credentials are her arms. - Oh, she knows what she's talking about. - No, that means that that just means that I can do a bicep curl really well. - And no, but anyways, I hear you and I agree.
I think it's really powerful.
So go work out of everyone. - Or at least take start taking fitness seriously to some extent. I think that if you haven't done it yet, if you haven't taken fitness seriously to some extent yet, you are remiss in getting the benefits.
I think if you just stay with it long enough, you will be astounded at how you see yourself six months from the day you started, but you have to be consistent. Nothing works on doing something once in a while
or occasionally.
“You have to be doing something over and over and over again,”
day and day out, even though it may be not the most fun, it might be super boring, but boring get you to the finish line. Boring is what works. Boring is actually how you get to be where you want to be. I think we try to find all these like sexy things
in sexy ways to accomplish whatever that is we want to accomplish. And at the end of the day, it's doing the same boring shit every single day, even when you don't want to, you do it anyway.
You do it anyway. Those are the three words I think are the most fundamental foundational words that people should live by. Do it anyway. And that will help you with everything in your life.
Amen. Bye. (laughing) Join your book club. Oh yeah, join my book club.
You guys, I started a book club.
And we're on our first book now.
It's called The Courage to Be Just Like. And every month, we're going to pick a book. And we are going to, as a community, as a group, we're going to go through the book. Every book that we choose is going to be a book
that will help you improve in one way or another. It will be either help you physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever, cognitively. And it's a way to, it's a, it's a, it's a great habit to get in as to read more.
“I think that we are as a whole, looking for more connection.”
And this is how we do it. So please go and join Sign Up, go to my website, JenniferCone.com, sign up, and we will see you soon. Yay. (upbeat music)
