Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis

Today's guess is the unapologetic straight-talking queen of matchmaking patty stinger. You probably know her as a star and creator of the hip bravo show The Millionaire Matchmaker, where she spent over a decade helping some of the world's most successful and often most difficult singles find love. Patty built an empire by telling people the truth they didn't

always want to hear about dating relationships and what actually what it takes to attract

the right partner. She's matched hundreds of couples written best-selling books launched her own dating platform and became the most recognizable voice in modern matchmaking. Today we're talking about the psychology of attraction, the biggest mistakes, high-achievers make in relationships. And why funny love might be a lot more about who you are than who you meet. So, let's get into it.

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Let me just say who I have, because I haven't even said it yet, because I have Patty Stanger, who is the OG of matchmaking. My favorite, to me, no one will ever come close to you because you know, because number one, you're so, your personality, you have such a captivating personality, you do say it on your mind, you're such a good TV personality. Thank you, I appreciate. Well,

“thank you for having me here. Oh my God, I'm so happy. If you want to know this, her house is”

beautiful. Pulling the back is selling me right now. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So, yeah, so hold on a minute. So you, okay, you started telling me a story nice, don't you? What were you saying? Oh, Emily, sex with Emily is a really good friend of mine in yours, this is how we met. Right. And I introduced her to, well, actually, she became friends with me because my date coach dated her and he wasn't a day coach, I created him and he

became this like phenomena. Although I did, he did do something really bad. There was an article written about me in Marie Claire and that became hitch. Can I help you? Right. So he, they called him up and said, can you give a soul information about Patty? And he kind of like thought they were going to pay him and get a credit and he didn't get a contract. He was dumb and they

“sold me out. And I think it was originally a woman hitch and then the, we'll Smith got it and”

created it, you know, it wasn't really based on your life. Well, yeah, it was the article in Marie Claire. So, yeah, because I'm sure they're going to say that they got stuff from my rails, but there was nobody else doing what like makeovers and Silicon Valley nerds teaching him how to talk. That was me. I'm sorry. There was nobody else that did that. 100%. So, people don't know. So, she had the show called Millionaire Matchmaker. How many years ago was that show?

I don't even know. It's on Netflix now though. It's on Netflix. I know. It's on, it's three seasons on it. Are you getting a whole resurgence in popularity? Yes, from the kids. Well, it's really cute because you'll go to the mall and a mom and a daughter, you know, we'll walk down the mom and girls like 14. She's like, oh my god, my mom maybe walk your show and I'm like, and the mom will walk over and she goes, no sex before monogamy because I don't want the girls to get

like pregnant and STDs or, you know, like they don't want their heart broken on a text. And so, they'll start watching in my rules and then I'll get DMs from them. Little kids, today I had the coolest DM today. So, there are a lot of young influencers I watch, typically fashion ones in New York, and Victoria High goes one of my favorites. She's the personal

assistant on the go. We've never met her boss though. I'm done. And she wrote,

"Be back and she said to me, Patty, I love your show, I love watching you." Would you help me,

that was so cute. That is so cute. Yeah. By the way, when are you going to be back on TV? Are you going to be back? We're working on something right now, hopefully with the network that hopefully, like I was on TW that two years ago and the network was going into the sports arena. I did really well in the network. We hit the demos. Everything was great. And then Nicole was my co-host on it. No, I mean, sorry, Nickvile was my co-host on it. I don't know who that is. I saw you had video with you.

Nick, you know, Nickvile, he's like, "From the Bachelor, you've got to keep on." No, I know. He's from the Bachelor. The kids will now. Yeah. And so, but he's going on another show.

And anyway, it was really great, but it was the wrong network. I love TW. Always have,

wrong network for us, because it's more sports now. And they're going in a mid direction. Because our guys from Dallas who own us, you know, they're like sports guys. And so, I need to go back to my roots. And we're trying to work with, you know, maybe envy soon to versatile. But the truth is that the way the format was back then, it worked really well. It's, I would think it would work now. I'd be scared to, well, we can't yell on screen. And I can't,

you know, like, you know, like, she's a patriot. I said something like, "Lose weight and change your clothes." And she's now this big star and her people start coming for me because I gave it advice. But you have to understand the advice I gave. I gave advice that if you came in and go, I want a millionaire male female gay straight. I'm telling you what the millionaire's thinking. So if I make you straight in your hair, it's because millionaires were not attracted at that time

to curly hair or wasn't in style. So I'm giving you the later. I'm not saying you need to lose weight

“for me. I'm saying that's what the millionaire was thinking. Well, you know, it's funny, right?”

Because you're just being honest. Yeah. And you are. New York, but I think it should be everywhere,

personally. Straight, straight shooter. It should be a straight shooter. And the truth is,

what you actually said or what is actually true, now it's become like a faux paw. We're not on the same exact way. No, we're have to be nice and, you know, but then the kids aren't leaving home. They're living in the basement. So they're waiting for their parents to die. So you can take over and inherit and they don't have hustle. You know, and that's what your show is about. Yeah, there's no hustle. So wait. So if you expect a free ride, okay, that's not attractive. No. That's not sexy.

That doesn't have Shena's say, "Quad to it." So I can't help you. 100% help. How would you say, I guess this is my first question. How would you say the deity landscape has even changed from when you started to how it is now in 2016? Well, the technology has changed it, but not the biology. Even though we believe in the wellness community. And I'm sure you're going to believe when I'm going to say that men have become feminine energy females because the plastic and the

water, especially the water, they go to the gym disrupts their hormones. And they don't have that rugged. I'm going to chop wood, the aliens are invading. Let me get you out. They don't have or let me take care of you. Let me pay for dinner. Yeah. Pay for dinner. Instead of going 50, 50, or even you pay because you make more money. So they don't have that strong, rugged veneer. And we believe that the plastic has disrupt the hormones and created less testosterone and the body.

“And this is why the fertility rate is down. Do you really think that that's why men have become”

more feminine? Well, there's two reasons. One, women became more successful. Even though we don't get equal pay for equal dollar, they're more women in college. But there's more women biologically than there are men. So there's not enough men for the women to go around. And that's one thing.

Second thing is, once you started making money, they got lazy. And I'm like, you made money. You pick

up the bill. You make the reservation. But we as women were nurturers. We did everything. So came as we did everything for you. We took care of your children. We took care of you. We made the dinner. We cleaned the house. We made the reservations. And then now we're paying? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But it's, I think it's changed where there's, there's more women have become more masculine in general in their energy. Right. And men have become more feminine. I don't necessarily

think it's because of the microplastics. Oh, no, no, no, it is. It is biologically. I've studied this. This is a wellness problem. I have studied this. It is not a hundred percent because we got success foam. We had to take care of ourselves. We were in survival. We had no choice. If the man didn't step up in our late 20s and 30s to marry us and take care of us and say, I'm buying you a house from doing this with that. We had to survive. There was nobody paying our bills. We were not a

generation, especially you and I and Emily. We are not a generation of repair and taking care of us. So we didn't have with these kids have. Right. Now everybody gets a trophy and everybody gets to survive. We were like kicked, they kicked us out of the house. You get a roommate. You find an apartment

“in New York. You get a job. Don't call me. That's what we were like. We were not the girls generation”

of that first episode. That was really funny on the first episode girls with the parents or professors

My mother would never. My mother's like, I'm sorry. You want that? Go bite yourself. So that's why.

But all their thing with the men and just getting back to your point and then you can all finish. The men, okay, have lost their drive. They're tired. You know, when mostree crashed, you never saw so many men crying and then the woman going, screw you, I'll take your job for half the price.

“I'll make more money than you and I'll be the leader on Wall Street and that's what happened in”

the banking crisis. Like nobody realized that. So women became like resilient, wonder woman, and men resented it. That's why they date a woman lesser value than you. They might, but younger all who's naive and doesn't know how the world works, but she's pretty. And that's why a Brad Pitt goes for a third-year-old girl because Angelina, challenge him, you know, and she didn't take crap. She left them. Most women who are taking crap right now, they have to look at themselves

and go, where does that come from? Because why do you need him so badly that you would take the crap? So we'd see their financial union pay the bills or be, I'm codependent and that's all I know because my mom was like that. My grandma was like the tantestral. So would you, okay, that's a good segue into the age gap situation, right? Correct. So don't you think there is a double standard between men dating young and women dating young? Absolutely, but it doesn't work in the reverse.

It really doesn't. I mean, I don't want to lie. There's very few 10 years, 12 years, okay, you get to 25 and a woman dating a guy, you know, on 50, I dated 25-year-olds? I agree. I mean, like there's no life, there's nothing to it in common. Right, it's just sex. We could talk about it. You don't even have the same music taste, but when a man does it, he's mentoring, he's nurturing, he's grooming,

and then the woman's like, and it's an a broken with that, okay, you know? Well, that's,

“that I think that's become like the trend, right? Like if a man is a little bit successful,”

they will date much, much younger. But I feel like, but not all men.

See, in a million or in millionaires club, my club, we have a lot of women over 50.

They're coming in, they're spending the money, and they're like, I need a man equaler better, and I need a man in my age group. You would be surprised how many quality men are showing up. They're not on the apps. These are not meant. These are gems that my recruiters and my staff fine, and they're like, I've tried the apps. I've died a few younger girls, and I hate it. I want some of my own age. I want to grow old with my best friend. Right.

Right, I can have sex. Best friends that I can sex with. Because you know, I would, I would also think that it's been a reversal, right? It used to be in these matte, it like these dating situations. They would search out women and women don't pay. Now, I feel like this, but you said there's so many more women who are seeing the men. You're seeing this on the apps. It's not in general. I'm saying like, it's not the apps fall. It's the way that there's a lot of

desperate women, not the group that's got worked on themselves, healed themselves, said, okay, if you treat me badly from the first red flag, I'm not going out with you again. You know, like that's it. We're done. I saw the red flag. We're done. Other women will take the red flag. Oh, he didn't mean it. Oh, it's just one time. He apologized. And those are the codependent people that will go for those men at all costs and chase. And that's not a traction. A woman is

“supposed to attract. Okay, not chase. So, right. So, that's why you don't like the fact that”

we're mission and text a man. No, and we'll mirror what he does. He text you. You can wait a couple hours sex and back, but mirror what he does. If he goes to you, goes to block him. Now, here's a reason why. Because he's basically testing you how much abuse can I give this woman. And you were not the top of the of the totem pole. You're not the one on the top of the roster. He's got other things going. Men are dating multiple women. Get it through your head. And they're picking

the one that has self respect and love for themselves. Those are the ones they're picking. They're not picking the girl down on her luck. Now, could they pick someone at a lesser value? Look,

I don't make as much money. I make 100 grand you make a million a year. Absolutely. Because that

makes him feel good and in power. Powerful. Yeah. Right. But you shouldn't mean yourself because you got successful. I'm watching all these dating experts on Instagram. You know, the whole age of feminine is dead and we're being blamed like Vance did. You know, Vance blamed single women for being successful and not being married. Well, we don't get married if the men would step up. I want to tell Vance, message understood, but message wrong. It's the men. Men are the leaders.

Men are the ones that go out and hunt. We're supposed to sit here, look pretty, smell good,

offer is for us. Right. That's what it's supposed to be like. Well, that's why my initial point

“was I just don't, I've noticed that there are not that many alpha men as they're used to correct,”

especially in California, especially in California. And do not come here if you want an alpha men and I warn you now. Stay away. Okay, not Orange County, not even San Diego. You're not going to find it and silicon. They're hair down to their ankles living in their houses. It's really, so where do people find alpha men? Alpha men usually are on the east coast, especially the south and the north. Like where I give a specific man too. I would give Midwest too. Midwest and east

coast. Those are them. You got to go around the perimeter. And Texas might have alpha, but they're subsections of Texas, like Houston and Dallas. You want to get more into the country. Okay, so that's, that's okay. So ladies, listen up. Okay. Now, how about this? Because we were, we were saying something earlier as well because I don't want to lose the track, but you were saying something about, I want to hear about red flags. So what are some, what are the top three red flags

that people should look for? Okay. The first one is in addiction issue. Okay. And there's a lot of I'm going on there. A lot of drinking, a lot of pretending they don't drink or do drugs and it's both sides of the aisle. But if we're looking at men, men tend to absorb alcohol more than women and can stand at the stand. Like girl goes past two drinks, she's going to get loose. Okay. So I would look for addiction issues. How much alcohol is he drinking throughout the night? Is he drinking

when he calls you like, is he doing drugs? And you want to find those things out. Yeah. Second thing is, is you talk a lot about the ex. Does he pump and dump and then like, oh, it was a terrible divorce. Yeah. And the third thing, if you're an older woman,

I hate to say this because I've never been married and don't have kids, but I've been engaged.

And I've raised my ex as kids. When a man doesn't, hasn't been married as certain age, at least once, and had at least one child, you're in trouble. Right. What did you do that? I'll give it to 50. Okay. I'll give it to 50. I mean, I say, I will be nice because we're living in a delayed adolescent society. You know, but I will give it, if a man's 50, and he hasn't had kids, and he hasn't like been married at least once, unless there's some tragic story like she died,

or whatever, I don't want to hear it. 50's old. I know. I mean, I honestly gave 45, but now I'm given 50. Wow. Yeah. I thought you were going to say 40. I thought you were going to say 40. Yeah, I'm going to say generous. Okay. Well, 40 is because they don't a true millionaire doesn't make money to this 40. So that's when he's on the hunt for the wife. He's making money in his 30. So I mean, we can make money earlier now because of, you know, AI and all the text stuff.

But, um, why can't I get married before that? Statistically has always been by 40. Yeah.

But a lot of times, people are like making, like, you know, kind of like creating their career, profession, while having been married. Yes. And then they usually would leave the wife and go to another one.

“That's a whole other story. She leaves for the secretary. Remember how the secretary is saying?”

That's the wife always knew. Right. But she could never catch him in the act. But the thing is, like, I've never heard as 50 is it's good. It's okay or acceptable. Because they're getting that because we now know the average millionaire to marriage is 29. So fertility is down, sperm count is down. And so what's happening is, and by the way, we found out that the eggs can go on forever and the sperm count is to crease. It was opposite what the doctors told us about

the geriaxic pregnant. Wow. Yeah. That's all been new science. I study alchemy of attraction and science of what's going on in the dating and fertility markets. And so this has been a sad story. They've told us that we had to get our, you know, get married, have the baby by 35. We were screwed if we didn't. But in the meantime, the marriage count is down. So as far as age goes. So that means that if that's down, they're waiting later to get married and that they could get

married by 40. Look at Hollywood. Well, and a lot of us have the lot of us we see in Hollywood, not married and have a child out of wedlock. I know somebody going through something right now where she's just implanted embryos. And he's, he's, they're engaged, but he won't marry her unless the eggs are perfect. And he wants a biological child. Really? Yes. I mean, that's narcissistic

“in my eyes, but whatever. Because I'm going to adopt a child. So I believe you can adopt. There's”

many different ways you can have children's surrogacy. There's plenty of different. We have a

lot of good ways to have kids now. Did you ever want children? Always. Always. Well,

probably from 30 something on you. So what was your path? Like, what happened with your life? I picked bad men. You did. I picked what my mom picked because I was programmed by my mother. No fault to her. My grandmother and my grandfather had an amazing marriage. So I saw both sides of the street, but I picked bad men. I was very sexually driven. Really? I didn't care about money.

Is it really? Yeah. And I never doing that again. I am never doing that again.

“So what, how did you, I'm curious. Like, what was your evolution? Like, how did you become a matchmaker?”

They all had inheritance, though. I have to caveat that. They all had inheritance, but you know, we can't, if you get married, you don't get the inheritance, you know that, right? So, but they all had inheritance coming. It was like money down the line, but they didn't have money right now. I know they didn't make it themselves. So that's me as a matchmaker. One of them, yeah, they didn't make them themselves. One of them was like on the cusp, but never got there. Okay, so wait a minute.

So, but how did you become a matchmaker? What were you doing? Oh, my grandmother and my mother were matchmakers. And when I was 16, I loved this boy in school. He was like the hottest guy, but a bad ass. And I don't want to say his name, but he was Catholic. And so they would go to these Christchurch dances on Friday night. Me, the Jewish girl got all my Jewish friends and got come on because those were the hot guys. And we went to school the dead day and planned our escape

from our parents because God forbid they find out the Jewish girl going, and I got busted by the priest who was actually hot. And he said to me, "Come in the back and he's smoking a cigarette and he's drinking his wine." He says, "You're not supposed to be here." None of us had Jewish star necklaces or anything like, "But you knew." And he goes, "What do you hear for?" And I said, "Well, I like this one boy and he's like, "You could do better." And I had done something really smart. I taken the

boys on one side and the girls on the pitch and I brought them together and they started dancing

and talking. He had never seen the set of dance because he could never get them together because

they wouldn't listen to him. And he goes, "I can't believe you did that." And my best friend ended up marrying the guy at the dance. They lost touch with each other and then years later they connected and they got married. He's kind of a cute story. And so I told him I had a crush on this boy and he said, "Oh, you could do so much better." He's so bad. He's derelict. He basically was, but a hot derelict. Really, like a Brad Pitt legend of the fall derelict, you know? Wow. Okay.

He was always on my bus and looked like stoned out of his mind. And so he said, "I'll tell you what I'll let you come here every Friday if you could get the boys and girls to dance every week."

“And I did. And that's how you started. That's how I started. But my mother always said,”

"I was going to be a matchmaker." And I was like, "Never, never." Because my mom, my mom is married one time I was born already. And he basically cheated on my mother. Very misses me as all. And my mom left him. She went back to the living with my grandparents. And my grandma was like, "This is hot. What do we say? Nobody gets divorced." It was like a time and so my grandma and their trainer to meet her next husband who ends up raising me and my dad. And the phones went off.

Like, you know, like, everybody was calling my grandma and they're fixing me up. Fixing me up. Teach me what to do. Because everybody was getting divorced. It was like the 70s and everybody was getting divorced. And so then the rabbi called my grandma and said, "Come on, I need your help." Like, like, what do we do? Because all the husbands were leaving their wives for younger secretaries. Wow. And so that's how you became it. So then how did the show happen? Like, the show happened

because I've worked for great expectations. And I ran this big company. It was nice to be what it is. It was a big, it was the first original dating service, like dating service. It was like

“Meshrecom before Meshrecom went online and I worked. I didn't work actually. I don't remember.”

You go into the office and you pay like $5,000 and then you swipe through pictures and videos and it was based on mutual consent, kind of like Mesh. And so and I would tell them, you know,

what to do and what not to do and they never listen to me. And when Mesh went up, it was like,

"We should be online. We should be the so-has of dating before so-has" and they didn't listen to me. So anyway, I worked there and then I was engaged and my engagement broke off and I couldn't look at anything of Florida. I was living in Florida. I was like, "Oh my god, that's where we had dinner. That's where we were in swimming. That's the gym we went into." Like, I was devastated. So my mom's like, "You went to film school. Here's your chance to get to Hollywood

and break into the business." So I go, "Okay, I'm needing an adventure and off-life Florida california with a dollar in my pocket and a new one person and lived in the Marina and I my cousin lived here." And she was producing movies. She's like, "Good luck getting in the business. Now look at me." And so I was always like, "Yeah, watch me." I was that girl. If you watch me, but I had a friend who said to, "I made a new friend and she was doing this millionaire thing with

dating." And then she's like, "Oh, I could do it better." And she's like, "Well, don't, you're never going to be able to do it because it's never going to work." So I would go to matchmakers that I knew in town because I knew a couple of them. And they would fix me up and for every Gentile boy I'd like Gentiles and I was Jewish. And I gave two Jewish boys to them. They give me a Gentile date and they sucked it. It sucked it. And all the daters would complain to me that

how bad it was. I went on one day with one guy. He really liked me and he said, "Oh God, you're exactly what I want. It was a Mormon." And he was cute, but he wasn't my type emotionally. So he said, "What if I gave you money? You could fix me up." Ding ding ding ding, had credit card debt,

I'll never forget that. And I said, "What?" And so I took him like shopping over Beverly Hills,

read it as wardrobe, decorated his house and her mosa, and he had to truck that he wouldn't give up and it smelled like fish. And I kept saying, "You need... I don't care if you get in a SUV, but you need a nice one like a porch." Took him to the porch dealership, he got it. Fixed up with his first girlfriend, turned out to be his wife. Got married, tell ten friends, and my business. But the first person I fixed up with was somebody of Muslim descent, unfortunately. And he

met his wife on that first date and canceled the check. And from that moment, I changed the industry. Nobody takes a check. We all take wire transfers now. Because I changed the entire industry. Because credit cards, you get chargebacks. And if you give a check, somebody could cancel it.

“So wire transfer, then you fix them up. Really? I learned the hard way. So how much do you charge?”

I charge 150 and up. 150, isn't it? 150 can up. Yeah. And what do you get for 150? You get unlimited dating based on a period of time that we think is appropriate for you, plus a full-service staff. And you get my number, my business partner, Bonnie Winston, Who's in New York. We have an office down on Wall Street. So you're getting a nationwide plus Canada. And we also do international as well. And how do you find the people? We have our resources.

I can't give you my, my, my recipe, my trade secret. Okay. But I will tell you we have boots on the ground. We have a sheet, we have the largest database in the business. And everybody knows, I mean, if I make a text message or via DM, someone's responding. Did you know Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors? But you also know that indoor air can be up to 100 times more

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country clubs. A lot of hotels with concierge, high rollers, and Vegas. We deal with the one percentage. So we're dealing with ski resorts. We're dealing with like same parts. Although that was crazy this weekend. A lot of people couldn't get out. We deal with high-end concierge services such as airports. You know, like private airlines. So when you say you deal with, what would you do? We deal with the people that work with those people. And we deal with people

who know people, who know people, who know people, who know people. Private clubs are 17 million

private clubs going up there in the minute right now. All over the country. And we deal with, we know where the men are. Like we know boots on the ground where the men are. So are you finding dates for yourself? I don't date my clientele. I have a rule. So I have a hard time with that.

“So you have to fix me out. Yeah, I will. And L.A. is not that easy. I mean, we usually take the L.A.”

girl and make her go to Arizona. Arizona is a hub for that. A lot of golfers, a lot of retirees, a lot of wealthy men. Yeah. Or we'll go to Montesito, you know, Santa Barbara. We say go to like, I mean, I don't recommend, like, I don't recommend a woman over 50 dating in L.A. proper. We might get every so often. But I will redirect her somewhere else. When you say that, do you want them to move somewhere else? No, the men will come to them. Yeah. But what

do you say they should go to? What do you like? In other words, like, I don't mind dating a guy from Scottsdale because I love Sudan and Scottsdale. But that's my thing. They meet through us. We are, we concierge and arrange the day. Got it. Okay. So we do everything. You don't have to,

it's basically put your lipstick on and go. That's all it is. And we do everything. Now on the

men's side of it, I mean, I just had six different men just joined this today, actually, like big ones, like some of the ones celebrity you would know. And so I'm doing everything for him.

my ass because she cannot believe that I'm doing everything where she's been doing what I've been doing for years. Like, you know, going to a Vegas party and trying to find five girls for him and I'm like, stop that nonsense. I have to look under the hood of the car. I'm also psychic.

“I was born psychic. I read vibration. That's what you saw on the show. I'm like looking”

people's energy. I have guides. I talk to them. So I'm looking at a lot of other stuff that we're not just doing surface stuff because it has to be a match on both sides. So I've got to look at what's his lifestyle like, how does he treat women? Do I have to change some of his behavior at the same time? Can that woman go at his pace? Like, if he's the millionaire and she's going to drop everything for him, is there a balance or is he going to use her? Like, there's a lot of

stuff I look at because I don't want the women protected to. And when it comes to the millionaire woman, I'm trying to get equal or better for her. So it's a little different. So for three weeks. And I do gay, by the way. You do. Yeah, I just jumped your trance because I don't really know how to do that. So you do for someone's paying you $350,000. What do they get for $350? They don't get for $150? They would, okay, so 150, you would get one person below me, a matchmaker that I've trained,

they've been certified by the Matchmaker's Institute as well as me. We have a millionaire training certification program. We don't just go, hey, I'm a matchmaker. There's plenty of those out there. I actually, I'm treating them from the ground up, like, as don't my grandmother's secret recipe. And then, if it's me, you're paying more money to get me because you want me on call. You want to

talk to me. You want to vent. I had a guy last week who fell in love with my first girl I fixed

him up with. And I said, don't call it in. Don't make her exclusive just yet. Let's see what else, because I wanted him to go on two, three more dates. Well, he went on a plane and he met someone. And he goes, I don't know how to do this. He's like awkward, a little bit on the spectrum, but handsome. So I said, I'm going to tell you what to say. And I became Serino. And I went in his text and I basically did talk to him. And he got a date with the girl. And he went on two dates. And I

arranged the third date for him. So I'm concentrating inside the service as well outside the service, because my goal is to get you into the best love relationship of your life like of God's it to me. What is your one wish? I'd say everyone has their soul mate and humanity. He go, but you're at a

“business. I'd be like, that's okay. That's that's why I'm here on the planet. And I'm okay with that.”

I work for God. And do you like doing it, still? Yes, I know. It's difficult. You were talking to me about your boobs for babes or babes. Oh, babes are boobs. Yes, and it is a exhausting job. It is not easy. It is not for the fan-hearted. You deal with personalities. You can't even imagine screaming, yelling, violent, blah, blah, blah. I am like a therapist, a psychic and a matchmaker rolled into one. Like, it's, it's, it's a lot of work. But I'm used to it. And it's like breathing. Like, if I was at the grocery store

and I saw, oh, my friends in the grocery store and that guy's in the grocery store, I put them together. It's just auto. You know, I'm an auto. Yeah. I'm the same way though. I feel like my track work has been pretty good. Actually with it. That's amazing. Yeah. And I do it because I want more matchmakers. I wrote a book because I become your own matchmaker and I'm as on it was the best seller because I wanted other people to do it for themselves as well as their friends and family. Well, I think the number one thing is not to be,

“like you have to be bold and you have to be proactive. You have to be proactive. But, you know,”

we're like animals, you know, in the wild. When we want to make, there's a smell and a signal they

send out, right? We're the same way. You know, we have fair mounds. The problem is is the men walking

across the bar to ask you out because of COVID because of the Weinstein effect because of me too. Like, they're afraid. They're cheating. They're very afraid. Like, you're going to cancel them. You're going to say something online. You know, there's a group now called or be dating the same guy and putting people's pictures up and destroying their image. But sometimes it's worthy. Sometimes it's some jerk who's, you know, going out and hurting women left and right and they deserve it.

But not everybody does. And it's male and female, by the way. So it's, it's a scary time to date. It's not easy. I think it is a scary time. Like, I wouldn't want to be a guy right now. No. I mean, it's better now than it was than me a year ago. But it's not great. But also it's also really unrealistic. We've got men looking at Instagram with these perfect looking filtered girls. Yeah. And we're going, what? I can do that. And I'm a zero. Like, it's the only town where

a zero can get a 10 and think you can still do better. Well, the problem is there's so many ways

now for people to like access dating. Yes. Where I feel that people are not taking that dating seriously. It's all like, situationships at any age. Yeah. People just, they can scroll to the next distance. The thing, if you're like, my oldest assistant ended up with her situationship. But it was two years of heartbreak. And he had left the country, come back, moved in with her. I mean, I don't, I don't recommend this because of what the roller coaster she went. And there's

damage to the brain and the body and the mind, you know, for what happens when you go and

these people male female gay straight to abuse you. Okay. Yeah. You're, if the guy doesn't love you, get over the fact he doesn't love you, work on yourself rather than trying to get the guy to

love you because it's not even if he does come back, he's going to do it again. He always is going

to test you. It's his nature. It's the scorpion and the tortoise. Yeah. That story. Yeah. You want to tell that story? You can, you're the guest. So the scorpion and the tortoise, the scorpion, you know, says to the tortoise, can I have a ride across the river? And he's like, I don't know, you're a scorpion. He's like, no, no, I promise I won't sting you. And of course, he takes them across the river. And what does he do? He stings them. It's his nature to test you and to

abuse you. And if you allow it, he will keep on doing it. Do you think there's any type of

“variation, a man like some men who are more noble than that, or do you think, across the board?”

A lot of times, what I found in my relationships, a minute I was done in my brain and in my body, not so much like I took the action to block and whatever. But the minute I felt that, oh my god, I'm over him. Like you run into him and you're like, I want to have with him. What the hell was I thinking? You've now, you know, you're over it. They fall in love with you. They call you. They won't my exes like, please, you're the only one. I want to marry you. And you've all seen him

on TV and I'm like, yeah, not happening. That's a hundred percent accurate. I see that all the time. But why is that? Like energetic? The whole time it was with me, didn't treat me great. Now he wants me to marry with psychologically. Psychologically, even though. Men are programmed to hunt. What happened? You know, if you're not having any problems. Okay, think of this. The hunter's hungry. He's trying to kill Bambi in the woods, right? But Bambi's like, I'm not going to let you

have me. I'm not going to let you have me and he gets hungrier and hungrier and hungrier. Till he can't handle it anymore. Because he's got no food. You are his source of energy. You are the muse. You are the one that gives women give the life force. We birth. It's all natural. So if you think about it, they need the light. They need the light from you. Don't give it in the light unless

he deserves the light. What about, okay, the, okay, so there's a million things I want to go through

“here. But first of all, I want to finish with the demographics here. Okay, I think people find”

this interesting. So you're saying LA terrible awful awful. So that's the number one city. I'm sorry. It's the most singles in the United States, but, you know, they're Metro sexual. Don't come here. Yeah, number one, I, and I agree with you. Okay, that's for sure. So then you're saying Arizona, what, Arizona has a lot of retirees. So we're talking in older community that they can buy a little like how with the age bracket. 48 n up. So they have a community of country clubs or building up

these hotels, the global investors, a hot spot. You want to go spend a weekend there. That's a fun place. Great food and everything. Okay, would you say December 1? Arizona? I would say Boca's number one. Boca has more men than women. And they all came from New York. And now with the mandami effect. Yeah. And the copalau, which I don't know if you know, they're trying to seize your property. You can google that. You can google that because we'd get in a whole episode on that one.

So you think Boca? Yeah. So they're all going to come down. They're all come down to Florida. Okay. So yeah. And that and there are more men in Boca than there are women. So why is that, though? They all want to live in the country club house. You get house in behind the gates. You get to play golf and be in a community. It's very easy to make friends that way. Very easy. So if you were moving let's say to Fort Lauderdale on a house on the street, you're not going to make friends. But with

these communities behind the gates, they're retiring, they're bringing down their businesses. Everybody works from a computer. Nobody works in an office. Yeah. Unless they have to. So think about that one. But I would say Boca's number one, have a Miami. Miami is good, but it's very saturated. And also it's young. It's young. What's it? What do we see? So Miami, like South Beach is gay and rickles young. You got to chop it all up. You know,

North Miami's got a lot of international communities. Very South American. If you like the South American community, North Miami's really good for that. Really. Okay. I just got back from Miami. I saw

what I love South Beach. I love the one hotel. My friend is in part two. And I always go the

one. I love it. Love walking in Lincoln Road. They're going to rebuild it. I grew up part time in Miami. It went to Universal Miami. I'm a cane. Yeah. And so my grandmother lived there and Hollywood on the beach. And I lived at Hollywood on the beach. So it's a great area. I love it. However, it's very saturated now. It's like a lot of traffic. So I would say maybe go north because the men don't really like like they don't like driving. They're not drivers.

“I didn't see a lot of like, I didn't see very many single men. Right. That's why you go north.”

Right. Del Rey. Del Rey and Boca. Del Rey and Boca. You go to Del Rey. And you can go West Palm Beach is really your, West Palm Beach is blowing up right now. For a couple for single women, are they just everywhere? And by the way, Jupiter, if you are, if you are conservative,

Because that's where our Mara logo is. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So Miami. Okay. We got the floor

to stuff. So Arizona, Boca number one. Also skiing is a great way to meet people Jackson Hall Wyoming. I wouldn't say Aspen is kind of metro sexual. I, that veilist family. So I would put Jackson Hall on there. What's the one in Sun Valley? Is that Sun Valley? Sun Valley? That's a Idaho, right? Idaho. Yeah. I'd go to Sun Valley and maybe Park City. Yeah. I picked those places because you're picking places that don't have a lot of competition. We're trying to get

the competition away. Those 25 euro's said, "I'm going to take up your space and you're going to film miserable because the men aren't looking at you." Okay. So what about New York? New York is really good. I'm just really worried right now. So I have a feeling there's going to be a spree of all the richy richies leaving. Because I don't trust mandami. No. Yeah. Nobody does

“well. And I, and I also think it's going to be really difficult to do business there. And I think”

the billionaires are going to pull out. I think the grocery change and the billionaires are going to pull out. And once they pull out, the city is going to fall. They're in trouble right now. If Trump doesn't save them. Yeah. I, but that no, don't. I mean, I mean, he revoked 150 of Eric Adams laws and one of one of the most protecting Jews I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish? Yeah. Okay. I'm asking. Oh, my God. A hilarious story. Oh, no. Oh, we're from the tribe. Yes. But I thought it was pretty

awkward. Right. He lied. And of course, you know, I, I, and he, and he's not protecting us. And then also he 3500 police officers retired and left the force because of him. So we're in a, it's a

bad place right now. Right. I mean, you might want to go like, I would say in winter time, you always

go to ski mountainy places that like yellow, if you can get it to Yellowstone Club, hats off go. You know, even, here's another thing. Forget that you don't see someone at the bar. Mingle with the guy who's married. He always has one choking friend who's single. So you want to get the referral. See, people don't work and network enough. Like, they, they just, oh, there's no one here. Let's leave. And I'm going way to second. Who's at the bar? He's got a Rolex on. He's

buying shots. Like, let's talk to him. You know, leaving a car. And by the way, steakhouses, where I tell you where there's meat, there's men. So if you go to a steakhouse and you go at five o'clock and you're nice to the bartender and you say, hey, do you know when you regular, so we're single in my age group? He's going to introduce you where she's going to introduce you. Be friendly if you know the hostess. They all know that what's going down seriously. You know what, that's, that's

“it. What's your number one piece of dating advice, though, to go to places like the steakhouse?”

Yeah, I have a rule. I have a rule of go out once a week by yourself. Those who travel and packs do not attract. It's very hard rule and a lot of people can't do it. They cannot eat by themselves. They can not go to a bar with, they think they're going to be called a hooker if they sit at the peninsula at five o'clock. You know, that was the old date. You went to the peninsula in Beverly Hills at five o'clock. You were a hooker. We're like, where did this come from?

Because the rush okay? Yeah, and wait for the guy to come and buy the machine out. Don't they still? I don't know, I haven't been doing that. I don't know. I don't even know that. I don't even go out anymore. I love to stay home and watch TV. I want a guy who likes to do nothing with me. Yeah. Does that make sense? That's the most perfect guy. I just want to get under the e-grade food and get under the covers and watch tell 100%. And then take a walk on the beach on

“the weather's good. It sounds like a perfect day to me, which is exactly the problem. That's why”

people aren't like these great girls are not meeting people because they don't want to be doing the whole. I mean, my favorite is when the guy is super athletic on the app. So he's like, I do this. I hang like, I don't like, oh my god, you're exhausting. I'm like, and they're like, I want an outdoors girl. Okay. That's right. Okay. I mean, they want an outdoors girl, but I think also they want someone who they can chill with. An outdoors girl is not going to be feminine,

pretty and shaving her legs every week. Every day? Yeah. Let's say this. So my next question was, what do you think the number one thing that guys are looking for? Like something that's unattainable? Like, you know, then have visions of like what they want, but then what they take is completely different. So what they want is the wish list. The hundred things to the floor. But when they get in front of a woman, she may not be in perfect way. She may not have the perfect smile.

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bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit. Let's do this. And then I meet a guy and I'll have a son that I'm attracted to, not just saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like,

"Hi, right. Oh my God, you did that. That's amazing." Like, that's how I am. And then I noticed that recently.

I wanted to date Christmas Eve. I did that. And I went, I wonder, he called me again, he asked me out, he kissed me at the end of it. And I was like not giving any signals. I just automatically went into feminine mode because when I was working with Pat Allen, who was my mentor, and who was on the show who wrote Getting To I do, she would say to me, "Switch, when you go on the house." And I had to pray, I had, and I was at a boyfriend at the time. And I lived with him and I had to

train myself to go from, because I was producing my show and in front of the camera to go, "Hey,

“baby, what do you want for dinner?" Right. And I take a, but you have to, I think that you have to”

train yourself. But I also believe you have to be with the man who can bring you into your feminine.

Well, there's a reason why the masculine women who make money don't meet someone who makes more

money than them, which will make them relax. Because if a guy said to you, "Honey, you don't have to work anymore. I'll take care of you." You can have anything you want. You'd be like, "What? Who are you? Where'd you fall from? What alien? What, what, you know, I'm waiting for the aliens to come any minute. Like, what planet can we go dating on?" Right, right. Because we've done Earth and Earth the sucks, right? So, yeah, so that's kind of like where we're at,

and we don't get men like that, because men are like, "I'm exhausted." You know, they're whining, and their moms are bombing them to death. You know, that's really awful. See, what I think is social media and the dating apps have really kind of ruined the landscape. Well, because they don't have to hunt. There's no hunting, and I think hunting does not count on the app. By the way, I don't want to say hunting is physically in person. Where you walk up to the girl, the grocery

store and say, "Hey, which cereal should I get?" That's what it's supposed to be like. But it's not for most, for the majority. Do you live on the West Side? Yeah. So, we used to go to whole foods on Venice. Yeah, like Tuesday, Wednesday night was, I don't want to in the nights with singles, and the other one was gay. And you'd go and sit outside and look really cute from the gym, you braid your hair, and you have your little beanie on top, and the winter, and you'd sit outside.

“Do you remember that? I missed those years. Oh my god, I was like, I cannot believe I did not”

take advantage of that time. People don't, like, that's what I'm saying now with the social media thing, people are also getting really, their brains are thinking what's real and what's not real are completely different. Like they're seeing all these, like you said, everyone's photo shop, face tuned, all these things, and they think that's, and then they get the girl in person, they're like, "I get these complaints from the men when they join the service like how they

went online, their secretary found these girls." And they would say, like, "How do you know she really looks like that?" And we're like, "Would you like to face time with her?" Yeah. So, and they don't normally look like that. It's time, and they go, "Can she filter it?" And I said, "No, she's face timing. There's no filter on face time. Zoom she can do the beauty thing, but not face up." So then they thank me, and they're going, "God, she's so much

“prettier than her pictures." Because he's seeing a human being. And remember, when you shop”

picture, or even a video, you're not connecting with that person. So it's very attractive when you connect with a man, and you may not have make up on it. I can't tell you how many times my ex just to say, "I love you when you don't have your makeup on." I'm like, "The hell is that about it?" It was like no one thing, no man hate makeup. They hate makeup. They just want to see like maybe a little lip gloss and go. And so a little tan, like, you've had sunk his from the sky

on a pair of shorts and gets in the car. And I sit there and I go, "Oh my God, they're going back to high school." When this was a high school. So they were trying to get that cheerleader in high school that looks all organic. And that's where their brain, the natural girl next door, that's where their brain is going. But I will tell you this, that men are acting, like, it's a given, like, their entitlement without having to hunt. Like, I deserve the best,

and I shouldn't have to hunt. But what I was going to say also, there's a lot of, like, rhetoric about, like, I need, I want my piece piece talk. Like, you know, I just want to have a piece. That's because it didn't attach. So here's the new thing. So women are making money. They have

“their vibrator, right? Yeah. They got their girl possey and their life is full. And they're like,”

if you can't meet me at my level of peace or better, peace or better, I'm not getting at a bit.

Now that never happened. So women aren't strike. We've been on strike right,

left. And this is 18 and up. This is not like 45-year-old women who are like screw you. These are the kids talking. Just, like, at 867% of alcohol sales are down. Did you know that? Yeah. Because they're not drinking and nonstop. They're not just a social club, they're becoming very popular. They're like, "They're nice and wellness clubs." I'm making money on influencing, or AI, or whatever, you know, because they're all techies. And I get to go to home and go to sleep when I

want, eat the foods I want, and walk my dog, and life is great, and they're showing it on it. There's shit. I can't tell you how many hot influences don't have boyfriend. I'm watching them all. I mean, I'm watching them all. And they're like, "No, I don't want to go out with him. He said this if he did that." And I could tell right away. And they're getting smarter. And I have to give social media one credit. I learned about narcissism from Dr. Amani and all these

experts. And realize my ex was a narcissist, my last boyfriend. And it was my father. He was my dad. My dad was an alcoholic narcissist, so is my ex-boyfriend. And I learned so fast that I would

never learn from years of therapy. So I give it to social media. And now, I would never pick a guy

like this again. And I can see the red flags before the wall comes in, where I could never have done that in therapy. But you don't think that the word narcissism has been overplayed in the views. I feel like it. I feel like there's more narcissism than you think. I do. Oh, yes. It's narcissistic tragedy happened when they were a child, where they created this world that they're the star of their own movie and nobody else matters. And they lost their empathy

gene. So in the UK, they're starting in the schools, which is shocking. Considering it's the land to rape right now, you know, London, and all that. They're making the boys take empathy classes and how to treat women. They're getting etiquette and empathy classes right now as we speak, so they can treat women better. And these like boarding school situations. Really? Well, do you know also that people are using AI now as women? Like dating, creating their own

avatar. Yeah. Just like they should blow up tall and the rope. A hundred percent. And the rubbers versus like, you know, these like, it's like a film becoming reality like real life.

“Yeah. There's so many reasons why dating is down. Do you think it's worse for the younger generation?”

Like, they are. Oh, it's true. It's true. We're 40 to 70. No, it's worse for the agenda. Because at least the 40 to 70 has had a taste of what physical companionship was. So they're

18 years. Some of these kids don't even never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And they're not bad

looking. And they might be tech spectra me. But when it comes to like actually asking girl to the prom or something like they've never done that. Also, I find that I don't know if it's mostly just an LA or California in general. Everyone is fluid and bisexual. Yeah. So like they're not even the generation. My friend's daughter is like that. A lot of my friend's kids are. And if you say anything against it, I'm like, if you pick one side, if you close your eyes, which one is more attractive,

they're both. They're both. And then my favorite is the pansexual, where they, they're in the mine, and they love the mines to me. The, what's, if there's another one? Yeah, I don't know if that's your pan. And what's the other one? The Intel Intellectual one. Oh, neurotripe note. I can't think of it. It's like a sexual where you're only turned on by the mind. The pan is the soul. Yeah. The soul. And the other one's the mine. I don't know which one you're talking about. I'm sure

if you sat at it. I can't. It's coming to me later. I'm sure someone's going to, they're going to DM. Yeah, they will. I'll let you know. And I forget what it's called. But I, I feel like that's another reason why relationships are not flourishing at that age. But so then you think that that generation is worse than our generation. Yes, we worse, we worse. They will get to the point where they will never connect. There was a movie with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. And she, they didn't have

“sex. Remember, he comes back to Earth after a certain period of time. And she's in the present,”

but it's really the future. And he says to her, "Let's have sex." And she starts to work with some computer thing. And he goes, "What are you doing?" He's like, "I'm having sex." Like, like, in other words, something outside of her were stimulating her and he didn't get to touch it.

Yeah, we've maybe five, ten years. Yeah, you know, I was just telling someone before you got here. You know, I just got back from Miami, like I said. And I played Padel or Padel.

“I heard it's amazing. Better than pickleball. Way better than pickleball. That's why I'm bringing it up”

to you. And there's clubs coming up with it. So yeah, so my friends were super into it. Like, you have to come to Padel. So I went to like two or three, you know, three different clubs that are to play. I found it to be super vibey. I found there to be a ton of single people, women and men who are professional and successful and attractive and athletic. I was like, wow, like this is like the panacea. Did you see the country club is being built in Fort

Lauderdale? That's all picked up on Padel. It's like this. And Padel both. It's both.

And it's, it's country club. You basically join like you're joining Soha. Yeah, exactly.

And then there's clubs everywhere. All different groups, age, ranges and everything. And then they go to have lunch, the club, and there's parties at night. And it's in Fort Lauderdale by Soha. So I'm seeing her going, we need that. Now, late, because we don't have anything here. Can I tell you something? I was like, that's exactly what I was saying. I'm like, this is crazy, because they're, it's so

vibey. They built a whole culture around it. People go there, they hang out, they watch other people play, then they play their game, then there's like a whatever thing going. And the crowd is way,

“I think, a much more affluent crowd. But yeah, it's way more affluent. Yeah. And like athletic.”

So if you're someone who's in athletic. Yeah. So like to me, these are great places to meet people as well. Well, that's, I think, like now, like Majon took off. And it's not just for women only. Like, I've seen groups who are men and women are playing Majon. They're going down to Chinatown. They're learning how to play with the pros. And then they're starting their own Majon. Really? Like, like my mother was a backgammon champion. And my dad was a car champion. And my dad,

my mom won a war. She built Will Chamberlain and everything. She went around to New York City, and El Maraco. And she used to have these backgammon, my father imported caviar, a beluga for five years from Russia. And so they would have caviar, backgammon parties caviar took off, Majon took off.

Like, what's next? Are you kidding? Yeah, guys, these are amazing parties at my parents house.

So I used to have this thing called game night, which I would like, I love them. Okay, tell you something. We would do game night, probably once a month. And what we would do is we would invite a whole different array of people, like using 30 people. We started that again. I was saying to me, it was such a hit. So it became so popular. And then everyone would bring their friends. And like, everyone would like, you know, like, mingle and talk. Like, I think having, like, experiences with

people is the best way. Okay. So I can't tell you how many people, like in the old days of game night, like when I was in I lived in Florida, because we took it for granted. We lived in buildings on the beach, and everyone knew each other. They were not like thirsty night. We'd go to the cigar bar and play pool. And like, we had it so good. And we took advantage. We took advantage of it. Because we should have,

“like, picked one and got off the market. Yes. But I think that's the best way to meet people,”

because even if you don't meet someone, you meet someone's friends. Can I tell you they introduced you to someone? Can I meet times I've said to someone, I'll fix you up with you, fix me up. And then we did that. 100%. Also, like, I'm a big conduit person, right? I'm very much, I think, like you in that way. Like, even at these game nights, like you would it, you would be surprised how many business things happen, like business relationships, friendships, a couple of people. You need to take

10% of all that. People say it's me all the time. And they're like, you should take, like, you should definitely take a commission on this because the amount of things that have happened just in the vicinity of me, business relationship. I mean, professional personal. I think it's that is the way to do it. Like, surround yourself with people. That's what we need to do. So, like, if you're in a community, you need to be the ringleader. Like, you're the social butterfly. You know everyone, everyone

chips in a pace for whatever they have to pay for the food, the drinks, whatever. Right. Right. And then

you start doing this, it will create a community. And the problem is most people are lazy right now.

They don't want to lift it up. People don't want to. By the way, I'm not even that much of a social butterfly, however, but what a fun thing to do. But I would look forward to that. So, that's the thing, like, I'm not even naturally a social butterfly, but I do like to do certain things. And to me, it's like, I rather get everyone together. Yes. They're going individually with one person, one person, take the frosting. So, like, I'm going to invite 20 people. My mom created this thing

covering the bell. And I put it on the show. And it was the greatest thing in the world. So, what did it's called, bring the bell to party. That my mom used to have. So, she'd have tables and men would sit around the table. And women would sit next to them. She'd have icebreakers in in the front, like little cards when you'd read the whole phone. Somebody would read the question and then we'd break the ice. And then whoever ran the event would ring the bell. And after

every course, the man would get up, the woman would stay and go around the table. And my mother

cute. Is that speed dating? It was in a sense, but not really. Speed dating is when you're across from someone or we call power dating. You know the rabbi invented speed dating. Across from someone and then you jump, you jump, you jump, you jump. But this is different because you're at a dinner. So, you're at a dinner and you're talking to everyone. So, a woman has a man to both sides and then a man has another woman to side. If the man gets up and moves one over,

everybody meets this, everybody meets everyone. Yeah. And it's like after each course. Like she'd have small courses and then the big finish with the dessert. That's so great. I love that. It was a

really cute idea. So, dinner parties are great too. The problem is people go, I'm going to meet my

“husband. No, go there to meet people. Yeah. How about you just make friends and see where it lays?”

You know, you got out of the house, you put some lipstick on, you put a pair of cute jeans on and just relax. Like, you know, rather than hunting and standing at a bar waiting to get picked. Yeah, I agree. And also, I think that like air of desperation if you're going to just meet just to meet as opposed to having much more of, I'm going like a reframe of your brain. You're going there to meet people versus I need laser focus. I need to meet a man. I need to

meet a woman. I mean, my mom was good at the matricing part because she did that for living. But the other thing is like, she also put people in the group that had the same common interest. Like if there were golfers, you know, male and female golfers, she put them all together. And then they had something to talk about. So, another thing is you can make groups based on like skiing or whatever your hobbies are. I love to cook. So, mine would be like cooking. You know, I'm like,

I cook everything. You name it. I can cook it. That's just my thing. I've always been like that's

into child. Yeah. I was my family always had the refrigerator spill. My aunt, my grandmother, and if they didn't have food to cook, you were in trouble because that was how we showed love. Yeah. I mean, that's also very Jewish though, right? Like that's different. But I mean, like, I cook really clean now. So, I'm like, I was our one before I ran around. You know, I mean,

“like that's how I cooked. Yeah. All clean ingredients, reading labels. Like, she just gave me something”

to look at. And I looked immediately went to the label. I know, so you read every label. Every label. I know what seed oils are in. I know everything's going down. What flower they use. I'm neurotic. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I want to take a quick break to talk about something I genuinely think as a game changer for healthy

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checkout to get an additional 15% off their 90-day starter kit. That's fatty15.com/habits code habits and you can find the link in the show notes. Now let's get back to the episode. What's the number one question people ask you? We're all the men. More than we're the women. Do men never ask you where all the women are. No, they just say hip fix me up. They just know that I have the women. They go fix me up. But they want to know, but it's always where all the men.

We're the men. They're so sad and look, everybody goes through depression. We watched all those Christmas movies where everybody found love this last period and I just want to cry every single time and go, "Where's my guy?" And now we have a song, our national anthem. Where the hell is my husband by Ray? The minute you're off, I told everyone this is going to be the biggest hit of next year.

Where is my husband? You used to be the single-girls screw you, Beyonce.

Yeah, forever. Exactly. We used to move new girl in terms. That's the number one question they ask you. Did they ever ask you how are you single if you're a matchmaker? Oh, it's OS. But that's my journey and my story. I go on dates. I haven't found the one. I feel like LA is really hard. Mm-hmm. It would be easier for me and Florida, but I don't live there.

“Well, that's why don't you move, "Why are you here?" I live here because I produce TV.”

I make five movies for a hallmark. I'm producing a scripted series with the people that made the kissing booth and the Queen's Gambit and the Walter Boy, so I'm working on a scripted show. Can you move, like, live here half the time in it? I can. I can. But you know what? I really like the weather here. I don't know what to do. The humidity did get you a little bit. I was lucky.

It was freezing cold. Oh, you're good. You're in the rain. You had the rain and the freezing cold.

Oh, no, yeah. No rain. Thank god. That's the problem with the rain. You actually had rain this last year. You know, I had the worst. I was the last time I was there. I went there. I usually go every other month. My best friend lives there. Oh, really? And Fort Lauderdale. Yeah, and the last time is there. So thank you for the rain. Every day I was there at rain. I hate rain, though. Yeah, rain is brings the mosquitoes. So it's terrible and flour. Oh, I just, yeah. That's yeah.

Listen, I really love the life in my area. I want to bring it. If I have to import somebody in, I know. Like, hey, guys, if you're watching the show, we're both single. I'm just putting it out there because I would totally import a guy in. Especially guy who's successful and already has money. He could live anywhere. Well, I mean, 100%. And if you wouldn't want to live in a

lay, it's beautiful. Yeah, I'll tell you who would it. Anybody who has any, any money because

of the taxes here. So expense. Okay. Not to mention all the homeless. I can give you a moment reason. Okay, all right. All right, all right. Okay. Many people have, most of the people I know

“have like, and then we lost the palaces. It's also. And the palaces. It's a lot of reasons. I think”

that the only reason to be in a lay now is the weather. I mean, I think that's, that's really work. But then we don't have even summer. We don't, we get, you know, June gloom and May Gray, and we don't get like summer to everybody. Everybody's leaving to go back to school and then we get our summer. Isn't that something? It's so stupid. It's crazy. Yeah, I agree. What's the difference between being picky and having very high standards? Pickey is neurosis. So it's constantly where,

you know, her eyelashes flutter too much or, you know, one thigh thinner than the other. Like, that's, that's creepy. But, um, high standards, high value woman, that's okay. Yeah, but I rather you have a high standards. No, but what's the difference? I'm someone who's like. Pickey, Pickey, silly things. But like, Pickey is kind of, Pickey's, that's not so much silly things. It's just neurosis over like, you know, like, I'm too picky. Well, should I be low standards? So high standards is like,

you look at yourself. Do you have those things? Are you successful? If you want some successful, are you successful? If you want someone in shape, are you in shape? That's like high standards.

“So what I find so hilarious is when these, I find, this is what I think happens a lot.”

When people who are like, they're a six, and they expect to get another thing. Especially if it's a man, it has money. Yeah. Because people can get their money. Yeah, he believes the entrance fee. Okay. Of the money Jeff Bezos won a one, you know, and then she comes along and makes him in shape. Yeah. I mean, they have a good relationship like that. I know, but to me, that's even, I see it way, where at least she's age appropriate. Yeah. Isn't it nice? Okay. Is it that real nice?

Like to me? Laura's great. She's great. I'm screwed. I would, and also she's no dummy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so key to me, I can, I can deal with that. What I don't like is when it's like, I'm, you're, you're like five foot one and you're bald, but you're very rich and you're, or there's tons of nerds on the, on the four, four hundred. And they're dating a 25-year-old gold digger. Yeah. And they think that's okay. But I don't see anything. But they can't get that in high school.

But I see if you marry for money, you earn every penny because the girl still has to have sex with that guy. Some girls don't care. They're going Birkin, Birkin, Birkin as he's going up and down and pumping a junk. Yeah. But yeah. What I don't, but it's how it, what does that save with the girl? The girl is materialistic, but you get what you pay for. You get what you pay. And you are going to watch the movie, gentlemen. What's that movie, Blanche? Gentlemen, Blanche.

Gentlemen, the Marilyn Monroe movie. Gentlemen more clothes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So she says to, "She's dating this guy and the guy father has the money. He's the billionaire." And she says, Tom, well, don't you know, a pretty girl? It's just like a man with money. We have an exchange. It's a transaction, yeah. Transaction. And then she said, "What's wrong with that? You're not going to date. You're not going to marry an ugly girl? Why not me?" In the end, she says that.

And I just saw that clip. I put it on my Instagram. Listen, if it works for you all the power to you, but that's fine. That's very, if I'm that interesting. Okay. Yeah. But the other thing is to understand, in that time, in that era, women didn't have money. So we were slaves to men. So think about this.

Yeah, I know. Our generation, okay, made the money to pave the way for these younger kids,

where they're not going to even college. They're like, "Why should I go and dead?" I can make six times that month AI, you know, CGI and all this other crap that they're doing. You see SG and all this shit. They're making all this stuff online without even going to college. Well, we had to go to college. We had to pay our dues. We had to work for the man. They're not doing that anymore. So they're making all this money. And living it home and saving money at the same time. Like, it's crazy. It is crazy.

And then they're socially enough. So there's a payoff at the end of the day. But the girl that's traveling around and, you know, on Instagram and gone, "I got Princess Treatment. He's taking me there and here and I just got my ring." And then that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. We'll see how long that lasts. What do you think though of having like a traditional values? I'm traditional. Right. I'm old school. Very old school. I'm a way old school.

“And then you would never know that about me. But that's what I've been trying to do.”

But you preach it a lot. I feel better when I'm old school. The minute I get outside of old school, I do not feel good at all. Right. Now. I mean, and you all, your whole thing also with like, no sex before monogon, not all these things. You still believe that. But there's a reason. There's a biological reason. You know that, right? So the biological reason Emily would tell you this. The biological reason is that we have oxytocin. They only get oxytocin through vasopressin.

So a man falls in love when he's doing things for you, solving your problems and doing things, building those achilles shelves. Okay. Picking up for dinner every night. When he's doing, he feels good. And then he loves you more. That creates oxytocin. Very small now. But still it does create it. Women, the minute we have sex with you, we fall in love with you. Whether we like you or not, whether you got an orgasm, the touch creates oxytocin. We bond. That's why we spoon.

Okay. And we're screwed. So we can fall in love with the gas station attendant who doesn't give a shit about you. Okay. We'll rob you a blind, you know, steal your sister at the same time. And we're like, wait, which has happened. He is not bonded. He bonds through vasopressin through time. But doesn't change over time. So let's say you get. So like you can start, you don't think it changes over time. No. As long as he keeps doing for you, he will be in love with you.

“That's why they did a study recently, which upset me greatly that said, women who cook.”

Okay. Don't get the love from the man like women who don't cook. And I automatically cook. Because that's what my mother and my grandmother did. Right. So then I guess. It was my, I remember once. Literally, I was at the best sex I ever had in Florida, one period. It was a dirty 30s, early, dirty 30s. And so I thought my boyfriend was cheating. I wasn't sure. And he was leaving the next morning to on a business trip. So I conveniently went

naked under the robe to his house, you know, like one of those I lived in Florida. And I made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I stayed a ball night baking. That's how he was driving my bus because my hormones were raging to procreate. And I realized, oh, you gave me the best orgasms I ever had. So I was like Emily would love this story. And I went four years on again off again. The day I said, it was over. I had the click. He wasn't for me. He wasn't treating me right. Well, I won't.

I met my fiance the next day. But I had the click go off. Of course. Then he, please come back.

I'll mirror you. I love you. I told you they every time they always come back. They could come back

15 years later. And say, you were the one that got away. You're going to hear women say that to you after this episode. Yeah. Like yeah. And so the oxytocin controls our brain to make or decisions. Now you get into your 50s and what happens? Harmon's change, right? They change. You get into menopause, testosterone increases, estrogen goes down. And now testosterone does not increase. Test for women. No, for women. Oh, God. Women increase testosterone and menopause. And our

estrogen decreases. When that happens, our brain changes. And we become the man. That's why you can have sex after menopause. And you're basically don't get attached. I thought you're, you lose testosterone. No, you don't lose testosterone. It increases estrogen. You lose estrogen. You

“need estrogen. That's why it's very important for people to get on bioidenticals. Which now we know”

the truth, which they've been lying to us. And I was always Susan Summer's girl, read the book,

went to the doctors, have the best functional medicine doctor, Dr. Reed, you know, Molly Simms goes to her. Do you go to Dr. Reed? Yeah, love her. She's my life. She's safe. By the way, I went to her 10 years ago. She's French, right? Yes. She's, she's, she's a very good doctor. I love her. She knew she's in Santa Monica. She knew, she knew about peptides before anyone knew what he else did. Anyway, I went to another famous doctor in Beverly Hills, who, almost killed me in COVID, and Dr. Reed

saved my life. What do you mean, what can I do? She over prescribed, I don't want to say her name, but she was really bad. She over prescribed, oh, prescribed, HR by Ogenicol, but she misdiagnosed

changed me. Yeah. And that's important that you go to good, good physicians that know where they're doing. She won't give you anything FDA. Like, there's something I wanted. And I was reading a batch. Like, an Alps, an FDA approved it. Like, she's one of those. But she knows about shit before it happens because she's fine. I remember she's really good. She was very good doctor. And I, I remember when I went to see her for something, she gave me something that nobody else was giving

at the time. She's got a great reputation. It's amazing. There's somebody else really famous that goes for her, but I don't want to say it. Molly has stalked about it. Sister, other person is even bigger than Molly. And, you know, like, she knew about exiums and all the, you know, good asylum and all the drips before anybody did. No, that's what she gave me. Yeah. And she said, and like, when I got COVID, she knew exactly what to do. Sam Grant, who's my nutritionist,

works part-time with her too. And she's amazing too. So there's two people together. I really changed my life. I thought I should go back to see you. Yeah. You can give me a hug on my forgotten. Yeah. So I will give you two after you. Yeah. I really want, I'm really like, I don't go see her. Okay. Is there anything that I forgot to ask you that you think would be something

“that my audience would like to hear? I think when you said you must look at her in a man, right?”

Is that what you're saying? I would say 64. Okay. No, no, no, not all it meant. So I maybe talk about some men's stuff because we talked more about women's stuff. Just talk about men's stuff. Like, we asked me questions about men. What, what, what? Okay. So, well, I was asking, yeah, you're telling me a lot about women. Women, by the way, would love this also. But, but, but then we're my premium clients. So it started with men and it's still with men because men don't have

time. They're busy. They know what they want and they need someone to give it to them. So if they go back on Instagram with their secretaries, they got to spend a lot of time, not so much swiping but screening. And one of the things that I'm able to do that nobody can do is mean my team. We screen like nobody. We'll say, we'll know who their first great boyfriend was. You know, it's like one of those things. And then we know who's right energy for them. Like, I had a

really difficult client about three weeks ago, who's famous on Instagram and he got some million girls who really handsome from the Midwest. And I gave him two girls, right? He likes them both. So now his biggest dilemma is, which one do I choose? I go, well, don't choose any. Just keep dating

both. And then you'll figure it out. So one of my clients always says, me, you always give me

so many choices. I'm like, should I not? Like, other services barely give you one. And I'm giving choices. Don't you think it's imperative to focus on one person? No, not in the beginning stage, not these kind of clients. These kind of clients do choices. Because if they go through one, they will come back immediately. They, oh, I pulled the trigger to soon. I rather than date

“a few people than pick one and take their time. Right. Take their time earlier. I mean, that's why”

tell women when the women come in, these men are dating everyone. You date everyone, too. Just don't date it. You can only date my service. One of the problems I had is that I tell women the men who pay or the women who pays, that's the client. So they can have as many as they want. You cannot. So in the matchmaking space, who, like, I'm not good at besides the dating apps. And all the things

we've already covered, is this a big business? Are there always a small business? It's getting bigger

and bigger as we talk about it because of what's going on. Yeah. And it's going to stick it up. And it's going to happen. And AI is going to now take over in the matchmaking space. That's a new thing that's happening. Absolutely. Yeah. It'll assist us, but it'll never get rid of the human touch because I don't know what they're doing. I've tried chatGBT for the matchmaking and do what I needed to do. So you need a human touch because we or taste touch and feel. So it's a

little different than chatGBT going, theoretically, what you should do. You know, it's not the same thing. But I will say that AI will be good for recruiting, which means like if I want to find a golfer in Cincinnati at a certain country club, eventually not today, AI will find me that particular golfer for that client, that female client. So it's like kind of like it's going to be my legs on the ground, but I wouldn't say it knows how to actually, sorry, how to put these two people

together. You know what I'm just thinking would be a great thing if they're going to do something

online, LinkedIn should put together. I always said LinkedIn should do dating for sure because

it's like, I don't know, you have that quote. I don't know them, but I've always said that and I would

“be the in-house matchmaker and help them put it together. I've always said that. I think that would”

be brilliant because you have like all the business people. You have like the built in audience of people. I think they tried to do that with the league, you know? Well, the league has has basic dating but Facebook dating, but it's not the level because you're looking at business profiles. You're looking at people's CEOs and own corporations and you're looking at a higher level of clientele. Okay, I've won last question actually and then we can wrap. It's been a while. But what do you

think of interfaith relationships versus the touch you want? You know, being Jewish, we all want

you not to who to date because you have a different religion. You just got to know or compatible.

So like, for instance, if you're talking about compatibility, if you're always at a Jewish, you're

not going to date a born again. No, no, no. I don't mean it like that. What I mean is like in historically then in your experiences with people that you've set up. Have you noticed that the people who have like longevity over time is people who are Jewish, Jewish, Muslim, Muslim, together versus no. This one and that one, you know, no. There are plenty of people that have got a population. Most of the people now I feel are getting more spiritual. You know, like I've got a church with

with a Catholic guy, like I did my last boyfriend and then I'll have Passover dinner with him at my

house or something like that. But it's more about, do you believe in God? Like I can't date an atheist.

It wouldn't work. I'm not religious, although I am a Zionist for Israel, but I can't date somebody who's like there is, once we die, we're dead. Like I'm like no, they're reincarnated. Like, you know,

“there's other stuff going on. Or planets. Even how many times have we now know there's alien life?”

And yet nobody wants to talk about it. And I'm seeing you're going, there are other planets with other alien life forms. Don't you want to know about that? Yeah. I'm like great until they invade. Okay. Right. So that's not really so small about the spirituality. Spirituality is believing God, you know. And but when you have a religion, I won't say the one, everybody's going to know that will blow themselves up and hurt people in the name of their God. That's a cult. That's not a religion.

That's a cult. So I'm sorry if you don't like that. It's a cult. Okay. And I'm sorry because God doesn't hurt people. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I was watching one battle after another. Did you see it? No. Oh, so good. So fucking good. It's the best movie next to Marty Supreme and that are the two movies of the year. So I watched one battle after another. And there's this thing. Where's it all in? No one will watch it. I think it's on HBO now. Okay. So it's with within our decopio. Okay.

And so there's this thing. This white supremacist club called the American Christmas club in the movie. And I can't give it away what it is. But I thought about this and I went, wait, they don't want anybody whose blood is tainted. That's not purely white. I thought

“Jesus was a Jew and he was Spartac. He did not have white skin. Like I was like, that's how”

John religion became. Like they just made up their fairy tales as they went along. That's not the truth. Right. Jesus was a rabbi. Did you fill in every morning? He come back and go, what the hell did you people do? That's right. That's interesting. Exactly true. I'm going to watch that movie. Yeah. So you're going to love that Anne Marty Supreme both of them. I'm going to watch that. Run to the, well, they're both on line. Well, no, Marty Supreme I saw in the theater last week,

but one better off do another as on HBO. Yeah. I'm going to like that like that. Okay, I think that's all we've been doing this for a while now. I don't know how long this podcast is, but if people want to know more about you, where can they find you? They can either go to Millionaire's Club 1 2 3.com. It's got a nest in Millionaire's Club or DM me on Instagram. They're Patty Stanger with an eye.

There you go. You heard it here, not first, but you've heard it here. You are great. Again, the O.G.

“of matchmaking and the so entertaining, so like straight. I think that you're just so fun. Cool. Thank”

you so much for being on here. I really appreciate it. You're great. And go find that Patty on Instagram or the Millionaire map. Is it like any kind of like survey or something people can fill out? Yeah. When they get to my website, they can decide if they're going to be a client or a data and then they'll just the prompts will lead you in there. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah, on the website. Perfect. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Well, thank you for being here. Bye, everyone.

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