The Good, the Bat and the Ugly

[MUSIC] Look up Los Angeles. [APPLAUSE] Welcome to Love Related Live from Hollywood. I'm John Love.

We got a great show for you tonight.

But first, let's get into it.

What a week. [APPLAUSE] The vetting and male bankruptcy platform Kalshi instituted its first ever lifetime band against former GOP congressman George Santos. Which is crazy because Kalshi was invented by George Santos, said George Santos.

Santos allegedly made at least $17,000 by betting against his own attendance at the state of the union after posting that he was planning to be there and then not showing up.

“But can you blame him for giving into the overwhelming temptation?”

With that kind of money he could buy a used Kia Soul hatchback. [LAUGHTER] According to a notice from the FDA more than 10,000 cases of Hoto-Brentofu have been recalled due to possible incontamination. I don't see the problem.

Sure the tofu tastes like ink, but at least it tastes like something. [LAUGHTER] You got 'em. [LAUGHTER] A forested island, the size of two football fields, reportedly appeared, then disappeared

in British Columbia's largest lake last month. The BC Hydro says it can't pinpoint the island's origins, and they don't know where it's ended up either. They say the island can no longer be seen via satellite. Said Trump, "How do we do that to Epstein's island?"

[LAUGHTER] It's Snickers News. Snickers launched a digital Snickers bar that customers can feed to an AI model when it replies with incorrect information. In case it's still hungry after all those rare books.

[LAUGHTER]

“This will be perfect. The next time chat you BT gives a teenager,”

factually, inaccurate information on how to kill himself. Said the candy company, whether it's a person losing their cool or an AI chat box consistently agreeing with you, the truth hasn't changed. When you're not acting like yourself, you may need a Snickers. Hey, Snickers, fuck you.

[LAUGHTER] And here's why. You did it. You won candy bars. It's an annuity.

At our office, we have big bags of many candy bars, and without fail, every bag ends the same way. Digging through milky ways and three musketeers to find the last Snickers. So have some gratitude. You show up at work at 11.

You say, "Let's keep making Snickers in all the sizes." And everybody in the meeting applies. You let some ad buyer take you to a two-hour lunch. You drive home a little bit drunk. You argue with your wife, or husband.

[LAUGHTER]

“About your kitchen reno, and whether to pull your daughter from private school”

because she's the only kid in her class, not on "vivence." And then you take $10 million of candy profits. You pay Andy Circus to put on a green suit covered in little dots. And have him say, "I just don't feel like myself to live at a Snickers." Then you air during the most popular shows.

We have football and murder trials.

And then you get back to complaining about how you never take the boat out anymore.

And maybe this weekend it will be nice to spend some quality time with your son, who you're worried about ever since you saw that his phone background was Luigi Mangioni all before you approved the latest innovation. Snickers. But this time they're fucking round.

So shut up and make the candy bars and leave a eye out of it. [APPLAUSE] In Bat News, a Virginia woman says she woke up on her recent morning to discover a bat crawling inside of her mouth. Some people have all the luck, muttered health and human services secretary, R.K. Jr. [LAUGHTER]

Dr. Christopher Edelman told the press she woke up from a dream that a cute little field mouse was shimming its way past her lips. Only to reach up and pull out an actual bat, responded to the bat. So when you thought it was a mouse, you were fine with it.

[LAUGHTER] Imagine having a dream where a mouse is trying to force its way into your mouth and waking up to a reality that is worse said Dr. Edelman. I screamed and I was screaming repeatedly something to the extent of like, "There's a bat in my mouth, the bat is trying to get in my mouth."

Her husband replied, "I can't understand you, say it again slowly without a bat in your mouth." [LAUGHTER] The bat was later tested for rabies, and fortunately the test came back negative. Good news, you won't die of rabies. Bad news, you'll live a long, healthy life haunted by the memory of the bat in your mouth.

[LAUGHTER] In other rabies news, three baby goats that were part of a traveling petting zoo in North Carolina have tested positive for rabies. Uh-oh, said health and human services secretary, R.K. Jr.,

a tiny hoof dangling from his lips. [LAUGHTER] Prior to being tested, the goats visited an assisted living facility, a back to school event, and a nine-year-old birthday party. They may have tested positive for rabies,

but they've also tested positive for having an amazing summer.

[LAUGHTER] Fortunately, the theme of that child's birthday party was rabies so it all worked out. [LAUGHTER] In other grim medical news, a judge ruled that Harvard Medical School

Over a body part stolen and sold on the black market by the school's former

morgue manager, great.

“So now I'm going to buy my black market human organs from Yale Block.”

[LAUGHTER] Scientists attending the American Chemical Society's small meeting presented the latest in plastic recycling technology, plastic cookies. But we already have those.

They're called Chewy Chipsahoy. [LAUGHTER] Let's face facts. We love them. They do taste weird.

It is the weirdest tape we all know the flavor of Chewy Chipsahoy. It doesn't make any sense. It's we should not eat them. What is that flavor? Why have we all accepted?

Oh, that's the cookie we love that tastes like chemicals. And is soft by the power of the devil. [LAUGHTER] Using a 32-step process, researchers say they use a modified yeast to convert plastic into a vanilla-flavored edible protein,

which can then be 3D printed into cookie molds. The dry ones said the scientists trying to act normal, leaning forward as you place the cookie in your mouth,

and then vaguely cringing as you take your first tentative bite.

Good, right? And you feel fine at the scientist? [LAUGHTER] Mock it all you want, but this is a safe and sustainable way to free up more water and electricity for data centers.

[LAUGHTER] The nation's first and only jellyfish museum opened in Florida this summer, though personally, if I wanted to spend a few hours looking at a dazzling array of invertebrates, I just turned on C-Span. [LAUGHTER]

Yes, sure. Scrooge director, Scrooge director Ty West said his take on Eboniser Scrooge played by Johnny Dapp will explore the gray area in a Christmas carols depiction of the bitter miser. West explained that Eboniser Scrooge is not perfect, but much of the blame for what went down rest squarely with Amber Hurd.

[LAUGHTER] Zoom, the popular video conferencing app, has appointed a former Oracle CEO to its board of directors. That man's name, and this is real, Jeffrey E. E. Epstein. [LAUGHTER]

“But what were they supposed to do? Not a point to qualified man just because his name is Jeffrey Epstein?”

Yes. [LAUGHTER] The E stands for, "Yeah, it's Jeffrey Epstein!" [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] No, thank God.

No, thank God they added that middle initial. Surely the Jeffrey Epstein we were thinking of didn't also have a middle name that also starts with E. Oh, no! [LAUGHTER] And finally, a truck carrying 50,000 cans of PBR was stolen from outside and Anheiser Bush Distribution Center last month.

That's roughly 20 pallets of beer, or as Pete Higgs, that calls it, breakfast. [LAUGHTER] All right, we've got a great shirt for you tonight, Ben Dolecrank, and Gary Reynolds are here, and we'll be right back. [APPLAUSE] Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It, coming up.

Love It Or Leave It Is Brought To You By Bombas. I love Bombas. Summer may be winding down, but we're still outdoors all the time. Bombas makes the comfy summer staples, so you can make the most out of all your summer plants. They've got a whole line of pro-level sports-specific socks for golf, yoga at the gym. And for every kind of runner, plus their airy, sweat wicking, and your feet will feel good at the end of the day as they did at the start.

They make the best socks and supported compression socks. They're perfect for all your summer travel and actually look amazing without the hospital vibes.

Compression socks normally give off, and for every item you purchase an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity.

One purchase equals one donated with over 200 million donations and counting. I love Bombas. I wear them basically every day. I have the vintage athletics socks, the vintage design athletics socks. They're super comfortable. They've lasted forever. They're just perfect. They just fit really, really well. If I'm running, I'll put them on, and I'll just run five miles, and they're just great socks. If I ever wear them out, which I haven't yet been able to do, I'm just going to replace them. I'm team Bombas all the way.

Head on over to bombas.com/loved and use code love it for 20% up your first purchase that's BOMBAS.com/loved code love it at checkout. Love it or leave it as broad you by hymns, losing weight is one thing, but feeling your best this summer, that's the real goal.

“That's why weight loss by hymns now offers access to the FDA approved we govpill and we govp penn.”

We govp is designed to help you lose weight sustainably so you can show up this summer feeling like yourself with hymns everything happens online. You connect with a licensed provider who will determine a treatment is right for you. If prescribed your medication is delivered right your door, no insurance necessary, and it doesn't stop there. hymns makes hitting your goal seamless by offering access to 24/7 messaging with your care team and in app lifestyle and nutrition support like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more.

With a range of affordable GLP one options, hymns makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet. If eligible you'll get a treatment plan, personalize to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed, ready to reach your goals. Visit hymns.com/love it to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you. That's h-i-n-s dot com/love it, hymns dot com/love it. Weight loss by hymns is not available in all 50 states.

We govp is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS to get started and learn more including important safety information. We govp clinical study information and restrictions visit hymns dot com.

Well, I've Garrett Reynolds and Ben Miller come out in just a moment, but first, big announcement from us here at Cricket the first episode of our brand new series is out tonight.

Still counting hosted by our friends, Nate Silver, Gail and Drew and Claire Malone.

“You might remember them as the data journalist behind 5.38 and with the mid-jerms just a few months away we thought it was time to get them back on the air.”

Each Wednesday evening, Nate, Claire and Gail and we'll dig into the latest in politics and pulling to break down what's happening why and what we can reasonably infer about what could happen next. They'll cover everything from elections to betting markets to AI with rigorous analysis and hot takes, but no spin or false sense of certainty. Subscribe to still counting wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube at still counting podcasts. We are so excited that they've come to our network. It's great what they were so excited the gangs back together. Everybody do me a favor, subscribe, just still counting.

And please welcome to the stage, two of the biggest divas I know. It's Ben Miller Cram and Gail Reynolds. [Applause] Hello. And there's something we're feeling a stage buckle under you to make you feel dainty and dainty and dainty.

[Laughter] Great to see you as well. Now let's get into a tune. Let's do it. Daila.

Yes.

It's officially pumpkin spice latte season.

Sure. Which means Jinks and Daila holiday tour is around the corner. How many years have you been doing it? This will be our ninth year doing this holiday tour. No, I know. I know. I look too young for that.

But yeah, we started 2018. It was just like a little scrappy thing. I think we did eight cities and it just grew real big. And now we're doing 36 shows across the US and Canada and November and December. Wow. It's awesome. I'm excited.

I am too. Gareth. Yes, John. Did you ever hear from J Leno about the impression you did on Pete Holmes podcast? Because I see this. We'll just show a clip because I do see this about twice a quarter. I'm sorry. And Leno did those in like 1989.

Yeah. I mean, what have you been? Did you crunchy the crit thing? The little cheddar cheese, I don't know. Yeah, it was like that. He's like, cool ranch. What if that just a chill fam?

[Laughter] It goes on and on. That's sort of your thing. [Laughter]

“That's what's great about what you did there. You cut me off.”

Great choice. It's very funny because Pete went to J Leno was at a show and Pete just asked him to start saying. Because I end up doing this whole thing about isosolies, the triangles, and then Jago. I thought I can't do it again. I'm learning from you now that this was the same appearance.

Because I've also seen the isosolies. It was inconceivable to me that you were just doing. How long? Yeah. That's like a regular impression that I know.

I thought you were just all the time. You do a Leno thing. You bring different things to the table. That was one long thing. It gave me a thousand followers.

I'll do it for the rest of my life. But we live in hell. So Pete was at a show and J Leno was there and he filmed him. It's really strange. He's filming J Leno and he's going,

"Well, you say isosolies, I sawosolies, which is part of the riff there. That you for some reason, you all left out." But so Jago, J is just saying that you're like, "I thought I'll leave? I thought I'll leave?" And Pete's going, "Say I sawosolies, I sawosolies.

I thought I'll leave? I thought I'll leave?" And so there has been contact. But he still has no clue why I am, which I think is best. Wait, you have a movie. Yeah.

And it's called "Give It Up" about a comedian who has to go back to stand up.

“And is struggling to connect in a world where you have to break through on the internet.”

Now, is there any way in which that was autobiographical? Or is there more of a coincidence? But the movie, the J Leno impression, is great. No. Yeah, very autobiographical.

It's basically about the nightmare of the algorithm.

And, oh my, again, I don't want to keep saying we live in hell. There's a constant quest for likes and for everything we were talking about before. Where you, you know, you just are constantly feeding this fucking algorithm to get likes and all these things. And it's sort of commentary on that, but we shot it all without really telling anyone we were shooting it. So I would be in comedy clubs like, you know, doing little fake passing out and telling the audience,

"Hey, I'm gonna pass out, don't worry. Thankfully, my crowd doesn't care for me, so nobody was worried." But yeah, that is a thing I've done. What do you, I mean, other than saying that we live in hell fair enough, but here we are in hell. This is not hell.

I'm enjoying this. No, this is great. We're having great time tonight.

by doing the kinds of things that will break through online?

Like, what is the problem? Well, I think it started great. It was a great plan to be, you know, it was like, hey, let's entertain each other. That was a great start. But now this sort of constant, endless fighting for likes and having to post all the time

if you're in entertainment or, you know, entertainment, the grain of entertainment. As well as, I'll be honest, we have to keep saying crazy or shit, or we have to keep laughing harder. And at some point, I keep waiting for it. We're going to hear the, the drain start to, you know, be dry.

And we're going to eventually find that we have, we have nothing left.

“I think that in a lot of ways, the Trump podcasting thing is kind of a version of that,”

where it was sort of like, well, what are we going to do? We need to get more likes. We need to get more, you know, scandal and all that. And then so Trump had all these, you know, idiots podcasts. And that really resulted in sort of a weird pass for, for that to some extent.

Yeah, it's like, there's, well, you feel, I mean, just, you know, we put this show on YouTube, right? And you try to figure out, like, what is the title that we'll get people to click on, right? And so you come up with more sensational titles to compete with the other sensational titles.

But at the same time, you want to, first of all, you will ultimately train people to not believe what you're saying,

right? There's so many channels where it's like, you know, it's over for Trump, you know? Well, it's a close again. The walls have been closing in for quite some time. But then part of it also is trying to figure out, okay, this is the world. We want to make something people will like and we'll reach more people.

“So how do you, you have to figure out a way, you can throw your hands up, you have to figure out a way to do something you believe in,”

that you think is good. But also that is in some way, that is some way optimized to do well. Otherwise, nobody's going to fucking see it. And I feel like that is to, that is to me the challenge. I agree.

But also think of the thumbnails. I mean, God, I think it's something. The thumbnail culture is just, Those I can do. I've imagined you'd be a thumbnail crusher.

Yeah, honestly, it's kind of my special. Yeah, for me to be like, oh, it's just, like, my soul leaves my body. Yeah, I can't believe this. Yeah, it's like hard to do it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You mentioned before, Drag Race. I did, yes. You mentioned Seattle a few years before either of us did Drag Race.

“And you were instantly hitting it off, was it, was it, was it well?”

You know, it was one of those things where when two folks meet each other who do something as similar as what we do. And especially if those are people who have sort of historically been, um, you know, as a drag queen as a young person when you're really like weird and feminine and whatever. You, there are only two narratives that you're total freak and ways of space or that you're extremely special. And so when you meet another one, it's complicated. Um, so there was immediately both, um, recognition, admiration and rivalry.

And we had to kind of make some choices around that very quickly. Like when the like when a Brad Pitt means Antonio Vendero is an interview to vampire. Sure. And it's like, you know, it's exactly that. Far too young, sorry. Maybe, maybe you're hip remember.

No, no, no, no, no. Actually, you know, I just realized as a 44 year old and the zero year old hip. I am now an average 22. Well, that's nice. You'll good about that. Uh, now Trinity the talk was just on the show talking about how drag needs to be dirty and messy again. Uh, and that this that while we're fighting with say that while we're fighting.

Well, while we're fighting to for drag queens to read at the library, it's like, this is supposed to be, uh, messy and dirty and for adults. Where where do you come down on this? You know, I think that to decide that drag comes from any one angle is to really underestimate the power of drag. I think that, um, yeah, 100% I mean, drag is very often for adults. Uh, drag is should not be, you know, in terms of all these conversations about kids.

First of all, very few of us want to be around anybody's kids.

Like, if I have the option to not be around kids on the sidewalk, I'll choose that. Let alone at my own show. I don't even let them in the libraries. Thank you. That's the problem nobody's talking.

Yeah, seriously, drag queen reading hour should really just to be the Queen's. You know, so I think that, like, yes, absolutely. There is a very important element to keeping drag like dirty and letting it be all the things it can be.

You know, I didn't have that growing up and look how I turned out. [laughter]

“If there was a, there was a conservative who said a while back, isn't it interesting that none of these drag queens seem to want to read two adults?”

And it's like, bitch, adults can read. [laughter] Not conservatives, right? Yeah, he's speaking out. To be fair, I think about his peers.

Yeah. Now, Garrett, you have a podcast with Jake Johnson called, "We're here to help." Correct. Are you ever anxious about giving advice because you'll seem like you have it too much together? [laughter]

Clearly, you don't listen to that. [laughter]

The advice never portrays either one of us as hinged in any way.

The problems are always pretty small town. We had one today where the woman called, because her dentist in New York was giving them a $2,000 off, because it was a family friend. It was for a root canal that she really needs. And then when he left her a voicemail, he was pissing. [laughter]

And so he's peeing. He's just this finishing his pee. But you can hear him pissing. And then he flushes it. And he's talking the whole time.

He's like, "But also, don't worry about this." And then he washes his hands. And she was like, "What I'm worried about is when I get the gas that I'm going to David at the dentist. And just be like, "I heard you pass." And so, you know, we were trying to figure--

So it's kind of that advice. So it's sort of such a dumb world of problems that we're just a couple of drunk uncles at the bar. So the stakes are low. [laughter] Would she counting how long he washed his hands?

[laughter] No, not long. But for $2,000 off, I mean, he could have pissed on his hands. [laughter] He could have pissed in my mouth if I'm being honest.

I mean, I'm just going to be quite honest. And spit. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, I'm wondering where your advice would have been in that. Because who cares if you tell him that he's the one who pissed.

You don't have to feel bad about telling him. Well, but it's important to them. So that's where I have to be. Wow.

So they say what the problem is, and we'll pitch in that direction.

So what we're going to do is we're going to record 90 minutes of like a show for her specifically to put in the air pods and we'll kind of be distracting her the whole time. And she'll just say I got to listen to something because of the pain. And then we'll just be talking the whole time. We call it a tooth of fun, like a tell us.

Like a tooth of fun. That's a tooth of fun. It's a tooth of fun. It's a tooth of fun. It's a tooth of fun.

I think it's tathily. Now, Garrett, you told our producer something interesting. Uh-oh. Which is you can immediately identify someone if they're British at a glance. I believe I have this talent.

[laughter] I believe I have this talent.

Because my parents are English immigrants.

Sorry. And I believe that there's just many times where I'll walk by someone. I'll be like, that's a Brit. But you don't know.

“That's what's so exciting about the things that you're saying right now to me.”

Yeah, we're going to find out the confirmation is what makes you feel good at it. That hearing it now, that's potentially a flaw in all of this. Yeah. But I don't know for sure. What are your thoughts on the British as a member of the LGBTQ community?

You can be honest. I mean, the two are one in the same, aren't they? Should they be allowed to read the children? Yeah. Should British people be allowed to read the children as an important question that's not being asked.

Isn't it? Yeah. I would say that I am very curious to hear your parameters for identifying British people, because I feel like they're the same as Gaydar. Very likely.

So that the interesting. Now, so what do I have? I have Brit Dar? Is that what I have? Yeah. I think that's how Brit Dar. The mouth is a big player in it and the general face. Like the general like, hmm, they're like, "I'm kind of a Sherlockian face."

You know what I mean? Ooh. I don't know what happened.

“I think whatever the strong kind of features, whatever happened when the Saxons came in”

and the Anglo, whatever happened in there, that kind of became, and I'm just going to say it, there's some inbreeding along the way. Some smaller villages, some large amounts of features. They soften on the crossing. So I do think that's probably part of it.

You know what I mean? So there's a kind of severeness to the faces that's interesting. From all the kind of, I think, from all the being away. Yeah, no, I suppose that's not the homosexual part. Although we do have severe faces, but sort of in a different direction.

Yeah, no. I guess it's just the general Britishness of one being light and one's loafers, etc.

Yeah, Pip-Pit Cheerio is kind of the--

They do send that a lot of it.

“Yeah, they're flying around with their goddamn umbrellas all over the town.”

It's like half the language here. Ooh, a lot of that. Yeah, there's one. There's one. I'm allowed to say that.

Damn. And you know what that sound means? Oh, no. It's time for game. We're calling brothers from another queen mother.

We're going to show you a person. You will tell us, gut reaction is this person British or not. Some of them are, some of them aren't. Okay. And we're going to start with an easy one.

[ Laughter ] You want me to-- you can put-- 100% British. 100% British. Are we both just playing? Yeah, you're weighing in together.

I mean, you can disagree if you like. Real pretty. That's her Jeffrey Cox, the surrogate and P.P. Jeffrey Cox for Torage and Tavis Knock. Oh, wow, that is-- I mean, it's quite obvious.

[ Laughter ] Next up for Torage is just-- Some of these fucking names doesn't feel real. I've been there. You've been to Torage?

No, but I've been to England and I've never done anyone say they're from Torage.

You've never been to Tavis Knock? No, no, I couldn't even get there. You're suggesting that you know who's British, but you've never been to Torage or Tavis Knock. Anyone who looks like he's swallowing six poached eggs whole.

[ Laughter ] Is a Brit. All right, let's see who's up next. British or not. British or maga could be a fun game.

Yeah, oh, yeah. That's-- you know what? Not enough work, done British. I-- I-- I-- it's-- God, it could be Tennessee.

It could be British. I'm going to go-- Well, you were wrong on both. [ Laughter ] That felt very pushy.

Not British. Correct. Oh, what really? It's South Carolina Republican, Congresswoman Sherry Biggs. You were close with Tennessee.

Yes, you were close with Tennessee. Yeah, it's the-- at the British blink. [ Laughter ] It's in the last-- having eyes like that in your last name, Biggs is unfair.

What a strange name. Because obviously, this is still photo. But when you say, she's not blinking. I know what you mean. You know what I mean?

[ Laughter ] It's got like that shark blink. Where it's just like a little bit of grey goes over, but the lids don't do anything. [ Laughter ]

Yeah, like that lizard thing. Mm-hmm. Next photo. [ Laughter ] The necklace.

It's going more maga. Yeah. The necklace made a teeth feels very British, but what do you think? [ Laughter ]

I'm just going to keep playing the odds.

“If I keep saying British, I think we're going to get there eventually.”

I think the little medallion screams Brit. I will say I will agree and say Brit. Michigan Democrat Debbie Dingle. Debbie Dingle. Yeah, that's right.

Debbie Dingle. Next up. Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingle.

And that could not sound more like a porn you'd see in the 80s. You were watching porn in the 80s called... You think there's porn from the 80s called Democrat Debbie Dingle? [ Laughter ] That's very progressive for an 80s.

Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingle. Yeah.

Next up. [ Laughter ] Come on. Come on. Come on.

You take it. 100% British. I mean, look, yeah, he got a sunburn from his hair. That's British. [ Laughter ]

That is 100%. So that's labor? That's me, eventually. That's where I'm headed. No doubt.

Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. Yeah, let's keep it for sure.

“Let's say, I'm just saying, I think actually the eventually's doing a lot of work.”

[ Laughter ] Yeah, no, for... Yeah. We get more wine. [ Laughter ]

All right, that is labor MP for North Durham. Luke A. Hurst. Next up.

First of all, this guy couldn't get his head in the James Bond circle.

[ Laughter ] Not a good start. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close. It's close

The book, Jinks and Dala, how the Queen's May Christmas is out on October 20th and you can see Garathon tour at garrisonsrendelts.com for tickets and go to give it up film.com for info on give it up, where are I back? Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It Coming Up.

Love It Or Leave It Is Brought You By Simply Safe. Today's savvy burglars aren't deterred by traditional home security systems.

and go. Simply safe is different. They stop breakings before they start.

“The traditional security systems that only alert you after a break in is already underway.”

Simply safe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. AI power cameras detect suspicious activity at the perimeter and alert live U.S.-based agents simply saves agents assessed the threat. Intervene, speak to the camera to scare off intruders and call for 911 dispatch. RCO had simply saved and solved in her home.

Insulation was quick and easy and the system was up and running in no time. The app is easy to use. You can arm and disarm the system and check the cameras for all from her phone. All of the components have worked smoothly since day one. The family now has total peace of mind knowing they're protected by simply safe.

Right now you get 50% off a new simply safe system. Go to simplysafe.com/loveit that's simplysafe.com/loveit for 50% off and when you order please write in love it or leave it and how did you hear about us survey to let them know that we sent you.

“Don't forget, there's no safe like simply safe.”

Love it or leave it is brought to you by select quote, life insurance. We all know we need it. But then we put it off because we think it's complicated or expensive or that will live forever. Stop telling yourself you'll handle it later and take care of it today with select quote. In 15 minutes you can have coverage that fits your life and budget.

Here's what makes select quote different.

Their license insurance agents work for you, not for one insurance company. They compare options across multiple carriers to find you the right coverage at the lowest price. They've been doing this for nearly 40 years and have helped over 2 million people find coverage. Even if you have health issues, they can help high blood pressure diabetes, heart disease,

their agents know which carriers will give you the best rate for your specific situation. If you're healthy, they can get you same day coverage with no medical exam. Other brokers push policies that pay them the most select quotes agents actually shop for you. Select quote.

They shop you save. Don't put it up any longer. See for yourself how easy getting life insurance can be with select quote. Get the right life insurance for you for less at select quote dot com slash, love it. Go to select quote dot com slash, love it today to get started.

And we're back. We're calling we're clear to help parentheses Garrett is not gay FYI. Are you gay now I'm British interesting interesting a lot to think about it's that's the British thing can't wait to see what this no homo game is all about. These are questions from our friends of the pond discord users and as a reminder go to

Crick Attack on friends to join the community all right let's see what we have first up somebody

that spent money on but now I have a bunch of clothes that I really need to get out of my life because they're making my life worse. How do you advise someone who needs help getting rid of stuff they don't use any more. Thank you and have a great show how do you think his clothes are making his life worse. Yeah, that is what are they doing to him what do we quickly extrapolate from that taking

up space of that really seems like he's over over. He's trying to keep trying to declutter he's trying to try to only keep things that spark joy. Are you are you a pack rat I guess a little bit you know I still have like close from my sketch comedy days when I'm like seven days someone's going to ask me to reprise my

role as a Scottsman and it's sad so I'm probably not the best person to invite here's what I would say I would say well do you have advice to I mean you're you have no I still I say you closed in case I returned to a size E 45 you know keep the hip out. I would say is why not like lay them out have a bunch of people come over and let them weigh in and vote and let's say you get rid of 30 items and then you almost seen your

dog them where you wear them out one last time over the course of a month and then you go donate them all so you have one last run because maybe something does spark joy when you're out at the bars right so I was I was talking about this idea for a party or

like an event and it would be called everybody wins the lottery okay and here's what

you do everybody fills out a lot of lottery ballot what are they called ticket and with all

“your numbers and you have to do this part of it on your way to the party the night of”

the drawing you have to go to the 7/11 or wherever you're going to wherever you could buy a lot of ticket you show the cashier the ticket you would have bought and you say but I'm not mine and then you go to the party and everybody watches the results and you

oh my god I would have won the lottery and so as you're watching the numbers oh my god I got one oh my god I got a second and then you missed the third you're like fuck yeah I didn't win the lottery tonight this is amazing and you give yourself the feeling of winning

the lottery by losing lottery and what's great about this plan is you always lose the lottery

so in this game you always win the reason I bring this up is because what if you do this you take all your clothes out of your house everything on the lawn get it all out on the

“lawn and then one by one you have to physically put a shirt on and say I'm keeping it and”

walk it back into the house so it's not about what do I what do I get rid of you'd reverse it you have to physically decide what to save I like what do you think about my lot of idea a lot of idea I'm not sure about what I like about your sort of what if you did a rummage sale and any item that someone else is going to buy you decide you're keeping that oh I like yeah yeah you get really good choices I like it's just $15 like it's not for

sale I it's cool you can only do it once though yeah you can only do it once you may just

wind up keeping everything yeah let's see let's see what our next who's next we next let's see what's next hello love it or leave it so I've recently come out as transom binary and I was wondering how do you kind of work with I guess like gender expression and being more confident in your own body as well as expressing yourself and yeah well it's a beautiful question I don't feel comfortable in my own favorite person to answer that handle

this as a Brit yeah as a Brit so yeah I don't know how I don't have the ability to answer that I don't feel comfortable in this current form before we've even gone to gender is what I was gonna say how do you how do you how do you think

about this how do you identify I've never thought about well outside of these

clothes I am a cisgendered man however it's more complicated than that you know

“I think that what I found is that all of the years of me being like a freaky young”

kid feeling like the odd person out whatever feeling like everyone was looking down at me I found out so many years later that other people were looking at me being like how did they have the confidence to to be fully themselves so I really think that like at some point if you are just embracing your own identity in that way then you that that is that is the whole thing that's all you it's just it's

embracing the identity walking through the world in that way and eventually seeing that just your sort of act of doing that it is is defiance and is incredibly strong and I think that's where you kind of find the confidence in it I don't know what you're gonna do because your identity is not as a versus it really the making of whatever yeah and then I look at someone like

“Garrett and I think look at how he struggles to be a man yeah look at the look”

at the the effort and energy it takes just to try to perform whatever meager version of manhood this is right like whatever and like yeah let's technically say let's just stipulate Garrett technically a man in the league of man and like we would say that is this is like man you're a man I'm not saying you're not a yeah for sure but my god the the effort and challenge that you clearly face

just getting out of bed putting on the pants I get out of bed right showers pants yeah right and just like kind of walking through life trying to kind of perform whatever it is this is that just Doritos joke after Doritos joke that's all it is you know so I think it's I feel like found out about is like an identified British people I mean it's been you're getting robbed in an alley and

you see this you don't feel security you're like the robber has back up or you're like the trash is moving anyway I thought your advice was very sweet yeah thanks that was beautiful and I'm sorry I turn this all on Garrett and I'm really sorry I am okay and I'm sorry okay I'm sorry okay let's I think we have one more a message from the discord hey fuckers this is Donning calling for

love it and/or leave it with Gareth Reynolds hey Gary hey so I you have ADHD and autism I just got diagnosed with ADHD both my dogs have anxiety one of them who's diagnosed literally with what was called the autism for dogs like the dog or the autism so I guess my question is what do I do what do I do

autism so real was yeah short clip coming through autism and ADHD I agree with your doctors I agree with your doctors I think dogs are also like their owners you know often kind of reflect the owners what was Donnie's question what do you want to know what he should do with his dog just what he should do that don't call the show unless you write the question down what

am I missing something built his question is what should I do oh it's just

“about whether or not what you need to do about the dog particularly having”

does the dog has autism what so what should we do about a dog with autism I don't think I think put down just wants to give your dog favorite food show show him or her or they the train and then say goodbye wow that is very good obviously it's very good advice yeah yeah I I would think there's a little

projection going on so I would maybe seek a second opinion so people just look at

their dogs and they just think it has whatever they have like my dog has erectile dysfunction because it drinks too much whiskey okay you know yeah yeah hey guys you're okay right you're doing okay really good very good okay put the little clip on run it back people love a little get the little clip

let's try to see on this low-ask couch following this I think I'm going to get

“in trouble for what I said about the dog you know I'm obviously getting”

and what people are but everyone's in my little see a video of someone having one of those parties where they have one last celebration of their dog and then I do cry and hug my dog for a while and then I propose to my now husband if this happened maybe we'll do a party like this for for Pundit and then Ari my husband will say I don't like when you cry like

this you fabulous so is the question what do I do so what do I do I'll tell you what you do you just call your own show we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by willys remedy want to destress up our long day but don't love the idea of a hangover to my own now you can have fun and

relax without the regrets thanks to willys THC infused social tonic I love willys it is my favorite it is awesome willys is an alcohol turnative that actually works delivering an uplifting you fork buzz you can really feel with no negative side effects willys is a premium THC infused social tonic crafted by the legendary willy Nelson who is as we all know and expert in

the cannabis space very few people could credibly call themselves a name you

could trust the THC but he is one of them truly it's amazing I can't believe

I really am just a huge fan of it it's just sort of answers all the ways in which sometimes I haven't really liked edibles or can have put them aside for a long period of time now like once a week I'll be like you know what it's gonna be a willys night it's so good with only 15 calories just three grams of sugar this tonic is you all the fun and relaxation none of the

regrets comes in 5mg and 10mg doses I do this smaller I did the 5mg bottle and it's that that's like basically a shot like 1.5 ounces and I usually just have like half of a shot and it's perfect it's delicious blend of passion fruit lemon and lime enjoy as a shot of rice or mix in your favorite moxtail this is not the edible that left you scarred in a mobile and college every bottle

is third party lab tasted for accurate dosage so you can trust and customize your experience one shot helps you relax and online perfect we're taking the edge off after work or it's great for socializing it makes good company even better willys is the number one THC infused beverage in the

US with over 350,000 happy customers and 1 million plus bottle sold order now

at drinkwillys.com and use code lowly LOLI drinkwillys.com code LOLI for 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders over 95 dollars or use the store locator to find willys on shelves near you like your local total wine specs ABC or local liquor store drinkwillys.com code lowly for 20% off and we're back

“hooray you'll have our secret shames our guilty pleasures the thing we”

enjoy that makes some people go you you like that time to confess them all and a segment we're calling I don't care I love it I love it terrific stuff we'll each get 60 seconds on the clock to make an impassioned offensive something that that others might not support I will go first

I saw in Wikipedia to this morning I read something that I could not believe

and here's what it was Matthew Morrison from Glee was stuck on the subway during

the September 11th 2001 terrorist attacks in New York City. Morrison and the rest of the subway carriage spent hours underground as the world above them collapsed after he got off the subway he walked into his girlfriend's apartment and saw her in bed with another man. Morrison told her you might want to turn on the TV and promptly walked out and I thought how is this on Wikipedia how do we

know this well it turns out Matthew Morrison my Morrison hosted a show which was a cabaret show about 9/11 the article goes on to describe Morrison's introduction to the show welcome to rhythm and revelations a car wash for your soul in this show I'm not just here to perform I'm here to spark something within you I want to leave you with a sense of inquiry curiosity and wonder about

your own life many concerts entertained by an invite you to take a closer look inside again he did a jazzical whimsy spin while explaining 9/11 and I just want to say I love it wow Matt from Glee did a cabaret show about 9/11 I don't see how that's a hot take I don't know how else you could feel about that I'm just I'm just saying like I don't I don't know how smart the AI is

going to get but it's never going to come over that no is it hey hey

Dale what would you what what's something where that you don't care that you that you know what what's yours we know that what's your what do I do what do I do well well the heels of the heels in the hip have really been on the mind lately because I did choose one over the other and you know is gender affirming care and and I really sit I don't care how scuffed and old and

ratty these pleasers get I don't care how ridiculous it looks to have a single toe panty-ho toe just shoved into an open toe show I will stand by this classic drag look forever if it was good enough for lady bunny and Jackie

“beat and miss piggy then I think I think that this is a classically beautiful”

look and I don't care who says else I agree I agree you know what I found

out the other day that that that musical thing that horse legs right like yes the knee is the toe or something crazy that really what a horse who is is the end of one finger and that the reason they're so delicate is because they're just running on one finger and that everything else of the arm is up high and so really what horse legs are are just four fucking fingers and

at the end of the to the hope is just the nail on one finger and all the other parts that are part of the they're up there they just withdrew and kind of evolved to be longer and so a horse is running just on four fucking fingers what yeah and by the way I think this is true but it was from a video I saw on Instagram oh no I went down a real long hole with this one it is true these are

facts because you know how they look like their knees are all bent back where yeah not true that's the wrist or something they're just on their fingers you're

“just wondering what you get the word out more on this but that's why that's why”

they're so delicate because it's like imagine how fucked up your fingers would be if you're just running on your fucking fingers all the time and I wouldn't well yeah I wouldn't lay down to sleep that's for sure it's yeah don't do the logic comb thing through what I just said it's not gonna end great I want you know something I skipped all the way over that to realize that you and I had

the exact same understanding of why horse is sleep standing up which is Mr. Ed yep without question I still believe they can talk I think they can talk that's how we know that finger thing probably yeah he'd tell that horse like I I hate this there's no fingers I'm sorry John I can't believe you dude hey he has the voice for Mr. Ed in there sure do it's not a great skill it's not

been an applicable skill to my career until now yeah pick it out pretty sure the J. Leno saying Dorito or whatever it would be no I didn't know this could be the newest I just love the idea of you just on a sage somewhere in the midwest being like did somebody say Mr. Ed they know I believe they did shut up Frank you know it's also a real quick jump before we get into mine I want to point out

the john said that that Dorito's clipped pops up on his algorithm all the time and yet I don't believe he's a follower of mine I really what are you not I'll do it

“after see that's what the movie's about real that him check he's not just having a”

phantom phone a computer bring up algorithm Garrett take it away mine's not great considering the setup into this but I'll be honest I travel a lot I stay in a lot of hotels the lettuce at the grocery store we can't eat

the hot tub and even the bathtub and I'm back in I'm doing the water in the hotel again

I am swimming in the pool I'm going in the hot tub and I will clean the bathtub but I'll also take baths in it every time I explain this to anyone it's met with great shame and I'm sick of hiding and I'm going to now say it I'm in the pool alone I'm in the hot tub hanging out for a while and yes I will be the guy who's taking a bath in a holiday

“I'll just tell you something I'm sick I mean I just I'm sorry and this is I when I think of a”

bathtub in a hotel that I would even consider using it's a separate standalone bathtub in a fancy hotel and even then I'd be almost certain those they let me in those I'm home alone I'm like right but you're talking about the step-in shower bathtub that foot after foot after horrible foot these are these are people that have what I would call other people's toes any like a horse yeah but like other people's like toes we all see other people's toes can be

fucking anything yeah toes can look like anything in the worst there's there's there's a lot of studies yes I would love to follow that there's a a lot of studies that say that you could get quite sick from doing what I'm doing really yes but RFK isn't charge of health so I'm leaning in so I will and I'm telling you I will take a disinfect I'll take a little chlorox thing and I will go around the tub but most people don't seem to think that's enough and I will be bathing in

those tubs and not just the fancy separate ones I'm talking foot-tubs foot-tubs tubs shower the foot just just just people traveling they're just coming late sometimes I'll just put a towel in the shower and fill it and I'll just slosh around like oh fish at the end of the

“faith no more video I don't care if no one gets it well that's beautiful and that's what the”

segment's all about I feel sad or but lighter thank you and we'll be right back well we've done it one for the history books but there's a whole lot of footnotes on this show

at least according to my producers that's right it's time for second thoughts

the garrison dala I have a list of things that the producers believe I should have done differently or better and I'm gonna share the places where they believe I should have some regrets if you have any regrets about this evening this is a place to share them first up these jokes about suicide boy they don't work do they I told garrison they're going on and on is sort of your thing I remember yeah but if it wasn't so I I think you're fine I really I think

if it wasn't accurate you could have regrets I didn't get it into it oh no go ahead I didn't give dala an opportunity to show off her thumbnail poses oh thank you so much oh sorry there's actually really only two drag queen poses they go like this or really good uh I compared dala I'm eating another drag queen to the original 1994 interview with the vampire but there's something about that right you know drag queens move

through the night we're doubling yes how does that a regret I don't regret it drag drag queens two drag queens right in a city without drag queens moving through the night see each other from across the room they recognize wow we have the same thing we have the same we're the we're the we're special and we're not part of this and we're we move among we're in the night

“I see where are you going with this but I think the prime difference is we don't want more”

drag queens we don't want to make anymore right right right right to is fine to is plenty

we're all set with two three's a crowd uh I really went after garrison never having been to

torch or travestoc no you're absolutely right though I should have gone to torch and now seeing the class of gentleman that's from torch I'm a torch 10 so I should head over there as soon as possible yeah that's right absolutely you will fucking clean up hottest men in our been adore it'll be like hey guys we think uh kind of younger Brad Pitt from America he'd have the movie star

sorry to Debbie Dingle who caught some stress and we're sorry to the people of the United Kingdom just want to sort of get that out there a lot of our listener we have a lot of great listeners over there and we think they're and I and I think we're gonna probably trim down some of the things I said about bone structure and inbreeding but I'll leave this in to let them know that it was said and I'm sorry even if they're not gonna hear it we definitely should cut that part out

that's a good point no I didn't hit that guy so hard yeah he also kind of has a half spark

“chin so should no I didn't look I don't know that's what lentil has it Garrett there was some thought”

them maybe you should regret talking about your dogs erectile dysfunction I appreciate it your

candor thank you so much and to whoever back there has an issue with my dog having whiskey dick

“you sound like the women that it takes home you don't think that dogs you dare in that sort of”

bullshit well I'm sorry Jim beams two dollars where that dog goes to drink sometimes

love is the question what do I do and that's our show thank you so much to Ben Delacraving

“guys right out there 55 days until the midjerms will be got Friday with former congressman”

Katie Porter and the great Larry Wilmore have a great night cleverly that is a quick media production our show is produced by kender games demograph Kelsey Gante and me John love it our production team includes Hallie Keeper Sarah Lazarus Roman Borcelino Peter Miller David tolls Claudia Shang J. Banks Gavin Purcell and Matt DeGroke and our staff is probably unionized for the writer's guild of america east