(upbeat music)
- Welcome to another episode of Out of the Pods.
Happy Wednesday, Pod Besties. I have been under the weather like all week and also last week too. As you can probably hear from my voice, I'm like on this long road to recovery.
“I feel like that's what happens when you get older”
is you just don't recover as fast when you're sick. And the cough seems to linger for like, I don't know, a decade after a decade. In my 30s, I don't know why. I simple cold, just throws me on my ass.
Can I just tell you how I got sick because it actually makes me so mad when I think about it. Like how I got sick. So I went to an event last week and there was people like kind of new,
like acquaintances at the event and one of them, I had a long conversation with.
She was telling me some like crazy gossip,
which I can't say on the podcast. But even if I do say, you guys won't care, like it's just about someone's like a fair and divorce. It was a crazy shit. - Okay, you've gotta tell me that later.
- Yeah, yeah. - It was like, but it was a 45 minute story, right? She was like telling me all the details. And her voice did sound a little bit like raspy, but I was like, oh, you know, whatever.
And then she starts coughing every few minutes. But she's coughing in my face. She's not covering her mouth. She'll be like, oh yeah, then this person, (laughing)
- Would you argue that it's worth it that you got sick because you got the gossip? - At the time, when I was wearing my pros and cons, I was like, ooh, probably. But now that I've been sick for six days,
I'm like, no, you know, when you're just like, I need to get better, but I still feel like shit. But anyways, the reason why it gets me so mad is the fact that she was at the event when she was sick. Oh, that really is one of my biggest pet peas.
I mean, really the blame is actually on me, but if I want to project, you know, my anger on someone, it's the fact that she was at the event when she was sick. And that kind of got me a little bit mad. It really is my biggest pet peeve
when someone is showing actual symptoms of sickness. Like, they're coughing, they're sneezing, they have a raspy voice, like a sore throat, and they not only come to an event with a lot of people, but also they talk really close to people's faces.
That was my thing. And also, I was like, if you're coughing and you know your sick, like, clearly she was sick, the more I think about it. Like, she probably also knew she was sick. She probably felt very like, you know, down.
Like, she felt it, like, I'm sick. Why are you talking so close to my face? And why, when you cough, aren't you looking the other way, you know? Yeah, like, cough into your hand. Also, why are you at the event?
It's not like a pressing thing to go to. Do you ever, like, replay a situation your head? Like, you're like, I wish I did that differently. Oh, all the time. That's what I'm doing right now.
I wish that when she coughed in my face, I either excused myself from the conversation, I was like, hey, I got to use the bathroom
and never talked to her again.
Or, I wish I said, oh, did you just cough in my face? Or something like acknowledged, oh, are you sick? Yeah, let me know, you know, oh, I wish I said something.
“Yeah, the worst thing is when you can hear somebody”
is sick and you're stuck like on an airplane with them. This happened to me on my way home from Thailand. And somebody was in the row behind me and they were coughing the entire time. And every time I do hear somebody in public like coughing
or sneezing, I literally hold my breath as I walk past them. But what am I going to hold my breath for 15 hours on this flight? That's literally so rude, because you know, people who are coughing, like, you know,
when they put their mouth like they cough into their shoulder, I was like, listen, that's not covering shit. Getting sick just humbles you. You just sometimes need to be knocked down a couple of notches just so you can, you know,
really just rest your body. The universe is like chill. When I'm sick is when I wish I had a partner to act like my servant, to be like, make me food. Yes, pass me the tissue box, clean up after everything.
Rub my back before I go to sleep. Oh, I'll bring you chicken noodle soup.
“It's okay, I think one thing I've learned”
for being single for so long, I was like, you could do it all year own if you put your mind to it. Speaking of being single, I was at this gallon times day lunch the other day. And I was talking to a couple of women at my table
and tell me why all of them are in relationships, right? So of course, naturally, I'm like, tell me how you met your partner 'cause I need all the ultimate conversation starter, right? So I asked them, I was like, okay,
so where do you meet them? And every single one of them said hinge, every single one.
I was like, is there no meat quits out here
in the world happening anymore?
Meat quits don't happen. I don't like meat quits where you organically meet someone like I like a dating app where you have options. Like I want to be able to swipe and see my options, okay? I was thinking about creating another hinge profile
because it's been some time now. And the problem I have with profiles like dating profiles is that how can I encompass or encapsulate my entirety and all of my essence into three prompts? I can't do it.
Sorry, that is sneeze. (laughing) All I see is, I'm trying to hold it and I was trying to like, you know, put it over there. So you can finish your sentence.
(laughing) Have you stopped yourself from coughing so hard? Like you're in a classroom and it's so like pin drop silence and you're trying to like knock off.
“You have to like swallow it in your swallow it in your swallow.”
The discomfort, I feel so unsatisfied when I can't get a sneeze out. Have you ever just had such an amazing sneeze? You're just like chew and just like your nose just clears up. All the time, you blow your nose afterward
and a lot of guidance fall out if you know what I'm saying. (laughing) I used to be that person where I blow my nose into a tissue and I would look at the tissue after I blew it into it. And then one time my teacher was like,
don't do that. Like what do you think came out, diamonds? (laughing)
And after she said that I've never looked inside my tissue again.
Thank God for that teacher, Steve. She's doing God's work because why are you looking in the tissue? - It was just like a habit where you're like, what came out?
You know, like, what color is my snots? - Ew! - It says a lot, you know, if it's green, that means you're really sick. - Oh, that's clear.
“I think that means you're on like the up,”
like you're getting better. And yellow is just terrible. You're like, no, I think green is the worst, but yellow is like you're in that middle. - Yeah, yeah.
I actually love love, love sneezing 'cause it makes me feel something. - Is that crazy? - Yeah, that's weird. - For sure.
- Hello, DPS weird. And this is what I mean, I can't even. (laughing) I don't want to create a hinge profile because I am just a better version of myself in person.
Like online, I'm like a five out of ten, but in person, you're a six out of ten, you know? Like, that's opposite. - You know, just kidding. (laughing)
- How dare you? - Like, you're persona on social media, 10 out of 10. - No, in real life, definitely a two. - And not the way you look, you look the same on social media and off,
but like, personality wise man. I was like, if that man knows what I know, I'm just kidding, you're definitely way funnier than you portray yourself on socials. Like, I don't think people know how funny you are.
- I agree with you. I would, I wouldn't even say that I'm funny. I'm just a good time. Like, snuck out of your family. - Just a blast in a glass, okay?
- You have a situational funniness. Like something has happened and you'll react it in a funny way and say something really witty, but, you know, but like online, I just can't because it feels like I'm trying too hard
to be fun and witty. I don't want to do that. Normally, if I do get my hinge back, I'm just literally gonna put in like the most basic prompts and I'm not gonna find the person.
“Wait, D.D. that's what also gets me very overwhelmed”
about dating apps is like filling in the prompts, like being super witty because I'm not gonna lie I judge other men based on their prompts and what they wrote in their bio. Like if they are not funny and witty, I'm like,
it's not a match. - Yeah. (laughs) - I was like, you have no humor. I mean, while minds like, together we could do our taxes.
Like, kind of like whatever. Or the one that's like, oh my love language is sarcasm. It's like, I just know you're not funny because you put that in your prompt. I feel like I could help you.
I feel like if we created a painfully honest profile of you, let me think, what are the hinge prompts? I know, one of them is like, the one thing you should know about me is, I will ask my friends to analyze all your texts.
Or I don't actually wanna be here. (laughs) - Let's go. - Together we could argue about where we eat because I love arguing about where we go to eat.
(laughs) - See, this is what I mean. It takes time, patience and effort to get a good dating profile together.
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Blueland.com/artofthepods for 15% off. - Do you change your prompts? Do you rotate them out? - No, my brain power just simply can't do that. I just don't care enough.
“I've been using the same prompts since 2014.”
(both laughing) - They have changed. - That's what I wish I did because I did previously, like, probably along with my lectures. - So 2014, that's important.
- Okay, that needs updating. But no, I feel like eight years ago, I had the best prompts ever. I wish I screenshoted them so that I could just copy paste it in
'cause I took the time to be witty and funny and just effortless and cute, all the things. And I just like don't have the brain power to bring it back anymore, you know. I do this thing when it comes to dating apps
where I get dissatisfied by the services. It's just like the men just aren't many on these apps. So I'll delete it and then I'll start to feel a little bit lonely and then I'll re-download it. And you have to start again.
And I will sit there for hours thinking about prompts. And then I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna use the same one that I did it back in 2014. Like, I don't even care anymore.
It's just too much.
“Sometimes the prompts have even deterred me”
from going on a dating app
because when you're filling out your profile for the first time,
you need to like fill out the prompts as you're creating your profile. Yes. So when I get to that stage, I'm like, I don't know what to put.
So I guess I won't be swiping. That's exactly the stage I'm in right now. Like, it's one thing to even pick like the perfect photos because I have to look like I travel well. I also cook well, show off a little bit of the body.
And it's like the pressure that comes with just picking the pictures. And then on top of that, you want me to use my mind and fill out three prompts that like summarize who I am as a person.
Like, it's like all performance review. Like if you're not funny in your prompts, like you're not getting a swipe. Yeah. But and see, it's too much pressure.
So the best thing to do is not do it. Or when people use the same prompts that are popular, like one is, what are my shower thoughts? Too hot, too hot.
Have you ever seen that one? Almost every single man puts that in their profile. And I was like so on original. That's so funny. The thing that says about you,
you don't have an original thought. No, I'm not going to lie one time. I did just want some attention. So I want on dating apps because I just, you know, I just needed someone to tell me I was pretty.
Because I was in that mood. Are you swiping on that's like, you're so pretty. That's a rental act. I mean, it's a, it's a confidence boost though. Like, it doesn't matter who they are.
If it's not from Brad Pitt, I don't want it. Okay. You know, I'm wired differently because to me, it doesn't matter what you look like. A compliment is a compliment.
If you give me a compliment, that just feeds my ego. But I have done this in the past where I've needed a little confidence boost and I wanted someone to compliment me. So I just put pictures and then I used the prompts
and I just did one word. Oh God, Jesus, sorry, oh my God, oh my God. We have to cut that part of a literal bugger game on my head. Oh, gosh.
Oh, shit. Oh, my God, are you okay? Dude, my God. That was Diabolical. Uh, deep, my, the, my desk lamp just shattered.
Was that the desk lamp? I thought it was a couple or something. Well, my desk lamp, I'll clean it up later. Oh, wait, we have to keep that in. I promise your booker didn't show.
Oh, okay.
Oh my God, what an amazing day.
I'm so glad I was a thick. Oh, put me. What a fricking. She's so worried. That person's karma who got you sick will come to them.
Don't you worry, baby.
The reason why I think prompts really, really matter
is I think they still say a lot about a person because you don't want anyone to interpret them in a bad way.
“Like you have to really think about them.”
It's intense. It's so intense. And that's why I'm like stalling on it because I do want to take my time so that I attract the right type of person on these apps.
Like I have seen some of the worst hinge prompts before like absolutely zero effort, but also they're just so telling of the person that they are and you're like, if this is what you're gonna put out there,
like why are you trying to date? I'm confused, like you're emotionally unavailable. I've become a really good hinge prompt interpreter. Yes. Like recently I saw one that says dating me
is like an emotional roller coaster with a winky face emoji, totally innocent, right? Like you're like, okay, whatever, it just means you're a fun time. No, that means he hasn't processed his childhood trauma.
Yeah, and that's not a ride that anybody wants to get on, sir. Like, no. I was like, you think you could fool me with that one. You thought it was a little innocent thing you said, no, I could see you were going through it, okay?
Yeah, I don't need that shit in my life. No, thank you. Or like when people put like together, we could take it slow and see what happens. That means I won't respond to your text
in three to five business days. Yeah, so sorry, but like I guess I'll talk to you next month. Next year, like I don't know. When a guy says on his hinge profile, he wants to take it slow.
“It means there's gonna be no relationship here, okay?”
We're gonna be dating for like 10 years. Literally every message on hinge will take at least three to five business days for a response for. Like, no, thank you. He's saying I want to take it slow
because I'm also talking to four other girls. So don't expect rapid responses from me. Yeah, between my 97, 40 hour week job and the five to six women, yeah, I probably will see you in two months, nine to seven, you mean nine to five?
Whatever, I'm for you, let's say you're Indian, no. I was about to say, that's my long eye work. We didn't do nine to seven, you know, how we pick up on each other's like, each other's phrases?
Yes, yes, I got to pay total to this, but I was at an event last month. And I had to stop myself, but I said, I said a phrase wrong. Like it was the, you know, like one of those things
where pie in the sky. And they're like, oh, you said that wrong. It's actually this and I was like, I'm not, I was like, it's just an Indian. And I was like, I'm not, when you stopped myself.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I hang out with deep deep ways too much. The fact I almost said I'm Indian.
“Can you imagine if I set that in a room?”
No, I would actually cry. That's so funny. Well, you know, this will be racist. When you, when you were saying the whole diamonds thing in the napkin, I was like, is this an other phrase
that I don't know? Because I'm Indian, like what is the diamonds? I was like, turns out you just heard it from some random teacher. Also, I need to tell you this.
Okay, you know when you have conversations with people like long conversations, you want to like build some related ability. Mm-hmm.
If they are Indian, I'm always like my best friends
in India. Like she speaks Telugu. (laughing) And they're like, okay. I've never done it.
Like I act as if like, oh my, we have a connection now. Yeah, we don't want it in the same. (laughing) I don't know, I don't know. (laughing)
It was like, well, I approve. I approve you using that card. Yeah, yeah. And the worst is when they speak Telugu and they start saying, words in Telugu
and I was like, oh, I don't understand it. I was just like, it speaks Telugu. You really doesn't teach me anything. I should not like talk for the day. Yeah.
(laughing) Same with Korean, Bush. I need to be more Korean. You see a Korean person, you're like, what best friends Korean?
Yeah, hey, buy the way. They're really like, okay. I really didn't realize a pillow could be sabotaging my skin and hair until I switched to blissy silk pillow cases. Like I kept waking up with sleep creases on my face
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and use code OOTp for an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you. We're going back to the hinge problem. So one of the worst ones is when people are like
“communication is really important to me.”
And I was like, that means you're never going to communicate.
You're a bad communication. And I should never expect it from you. - The prompt that pisses me off so much though is when people are like we can build an empire together or like build a generational wealth.
And the reason it pisses me off not is because I said this on love is blind like a hundred times. I was like, I want to build an empire together. And I'm like, oh my God, nothing I say is original ever. What does that mean?
We're going to have like a hundred kids. And like, I don't know, create our own town. Like what does that even mean? Going to business together, I don't think so. In my 20s, it did mean that.
In my 30s, I'm like, please already have the empire built.
I have my own, just bring empires together because I don't have the energy. I was like, you build your own empire. I'm so you know, I'm tired. I won't time went out with someone
where one of his hinge prompts were, you know,
“one thing you should know about me is I'm brutally honest.”
He had no fucking filter or social awareness. Nope. When the waiter said, hey, how's the food he goes? Could be better. And I was like, oh, no, sir, it's delicious.
I was like, listen to him. Why do you want to do something like? No, sir, you're okay. I don't know, sometimes these hinge prompts, though, they do reveal a lot about a person,
but at least like he told me upfront that this is the way he is. I mean, immediately swiping, no, brutally honest. And talking like you've been sent to HR a few times at work. They're two very different things. You got to really look into those hinge prompts, man.
I don't take them at face value. I like interpret. I'm like, what does this actually mean about you? So that's why I feel like mine have to be like very like, there's no room for interpretation.
And if you do interpret it, it only, you know, it's only about positive things.
Like one thing that's that I always do is like,
dating me is like dating your bunny as fast-graddened. No, no room for interpretation. I'm going to be the funniest person you've ever dated. You know, what how I told you? I didn't remember anything of my hinge prompts.
You just reminded me, one of my best ones was dating me is like sunshine on a cold winter day. I was trying to be poetic. That was poetic. That's the fact that I didn't get a response.
That's a swipe left for me. I'd be like, what a loser. I'm or it was like something about sunshine on a rainy day or something. I feel like, you know what, that's really good. Because I think you'll attract people who like love the, you know, like that.
That emotional things, the people who like rain and sunshine. Yeah, for me, I feel like I'd look at that problem to be like, I don't want someone who's going to be sunshine. I need someone who during a rainy day is going to be the big fucking dark cloud. That's like, I know that's going to be a match.
You're so diabolical.
“No, literally, that's what you have to look at.”
But I think you should definitely go on the dating apps. And you know what, deep deep, I think you'd be really good at creating hinge props. Yes, you know, I am minors. I'm being very self-deprecating, but it has worked for me in the past, you know. In the sense that like I attract people, which is kind of nice like us,
not to to my own horn, but it's just the process of going through it. Sound so mind numbing, you know, said I attract people. So it's not going to be an issue, but it's just a matter of me looking. That's not really, I did really self-employment. I promise I'm not like that, I promise.
But no, I will definitely run my prompts past you, and we can, you know, group think on them together. Because it's thing, I need all the people. If you see deep deep these dating app on hinge, and you see the prompt that says dating me is like having the government tap into your text and calls, because it's my dream to do that. Just know, I was going to think of that one, okay.
I went to lunch with a couple of my girlfriends the other day, and they were talking about like the things that their partners do that piss them off. And I thought to myself, I was like, you know what, being single is not that bad. I think about it in like a majority of the time I am very happy alone.
Same, I think that's why I don't look at being single as like a bad thing.
Like I don't see it as it being lonely.
“I think it's actually extremely peaceful and a little slightly unhinged though.”
Because like think about, I mean, like the animal I am when I'm single,
first one, I'm in a relationship.
Like when you're in a relationship, you can't eat dinner at like 11 pm over the sink. Like that's just like very unhinged, but I do it all the time as a single person. There's just like small little things that you're able to do that you just can't do in a relationship. Like I feel like when I was in a relationship, all I would do was watch sports with my person. And I'm like, I need to watch my reality TV.
I need to be able to watch bravo. And I'm sorry, but I don't want to watch golf today. No 100% like think about how we could just fart in our beds and there's no one to comment on our Farts. Like he'd be like so loud and so smelling. There's no one to be like, ew, like ugh, like you just fart in your bed. Yeah, or like you leave like your room a mess or something. There's no one to judge you for it. Like if I don't make my bed until like one pm,
no one's going to be like, you're, are you okay at your slot or you don't have to worry about like fucking hair all over the sink. Oh my god, that was my biggest pet peeve when I was living with oh, they shave. Oh my god, it was, it would ruin my entire day if I found just one tiny little hair somewhere. I'm like clean up after yourself. Natalie, you know how I keep saying to you that I'm working on entering my type a era. Um, yes, and how's that going for you? I cannot tell
you how much happier I've been after making small changes to my routine. And listen, I'm not trying to become a new person. I just want my life to feel a little less chaotic. Like the other day, I ordered Marley Spoon and for once I wasn't standing in my kitchen scrolling on my phone, trying to figure out what to make. It's just one last thing I have to think about. And they give you over a hundred recipes every week. So you have so many options. My mood really dictates what kind of
meal I'm making. Sometimes I want something comforting like chicken fah. Another times it's lighter, like a citrus kale salad. Oh my god, the citrus salad was so good. I made it with salmon and I'm still thinking about it. I just love that I can choose something for all my moods and they're
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right, 45% off your first order and free delivery. That's MarleySpoon.com/offers/out of the pods. I've already set this on the podcast. I've been on 32 first states last year and a lot of it is because my friends were like setting me up with like co-workers, their husband and friends. Natalie, did you say 32 first states? Can I just say something? You're going to die. Um, I went to this event, the Valentine's Day event and obviously I'm going to talk about you. You're
my best friend. And I told people, you went on 63 first states. I thought it was 63. And they're like, wow, and I was like, yeah, it's all. It's only 32. Here's such a fucking bitch. What do you think I went on 63 first days? You know what? I should have known better because as I said, I was like, how does she have time to do that? She hangs out with me 300 of those days. My bad. Well, my bad. I'll clarify if I ever see them again. They're probably like,
they am. At that point, she's the problem. You know, they're probably like she's definitely something.
“She's the issue. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that, but that's why I was never showing my”
face. I'm never going to like Valentine's Day event. 32 got it. 32 first states. It actually,
I don't count one of them. One thing didn't go well on that date. I don't think even knew we were on a blind date, too. I think he was just thought we were like in that working. It was really 31 dates. Yeah, I went on a date and it was a lot about like, where do you work? Oh, I'm also in the media space and like trying. He's like, let me get your numbers so we could stay and touch. He's not going to help you build your resume. One of my friends actually set up that date
and I told her after the date. I was like, I don't think he knew it was like a date. Like he thought it was a networking dinner. I was like, all we did was talk about work and then he's like, wait, we should stay in touch after. And she's like, let me talk to my husband because it was someone
He knew and he goes, oh, yeah, maybe he did make a clear like it was a date.
go. She's in this space and you're in this space, which is kind of similar. Do you guys want to meet and like talk about it? No, the corporate sign-off to be like, what's connect? I was like, no wonder I was wearing a cropped halter top and he was wearing a fucking suit. Gosh, I love a man in a suit. Bring back men and suits, please. But, you know, networking, dating, kind of related. It's
“good. But I've been on 30 to first dates and that's all you need to know about me.”
And honestly, I'm so proud of you for just putting yourself out there and doing that. But I will
say what I've reflected after those 32 dates is the problem is me. I'm not saying I have high
standards by any means. Like, I don't think I'm in a place to have like crazy has standards. But if there's like small quirks that let's say my former partners have had if someone I'm dating has a similar quirk. I'm like, it's done. Like, I just can't. I think I have like a trauma. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's like, for example, if a guy says he's like, really into working out. Like, he's like, I love having a six pack. No, I don't think so. And yeah, like at that
I'm like, I'm like, I'm out. It's not like I just can't. Everything has changed so much since my 20s to my 30s. I date so differently now that I'm in my 30s. I just have less tolerance for
shit. Like, for example, you know, I always say like I love a reform bad boy, but at the end of the
day, if I'm being for fucking real with myself, there's no way I'm dating a man that, like, simply can't do like every day tasks or doesn't have their financials together. And in my 20s, I didn't even care. I was like, oh, credit card debt. Cool. I'm also good at you. It's totally fine. You know, I have no standards. But now I'm like, you better send me your credit score and it better be good. Because we got a print for a home. I always thought about that where you're like, you love a
reformed bad boy who owns a motorcycle. And I'll see people on motorcycle on the highway. And when they have like their, it's their partner, like their wife or girlfriend, whatever, like sitting in the back with a helmet on. And I was, there's like little, like, bug splatters on our helmet.
I was like, I always think about, like, imagine if that was deep deep. I love that you think about that shit.
I would be like, I probably have a badass black cat suit on. No, I'd like to let their everything. But then I feel like you get older and then you're not wearing no leather. You know, you're just like, I'm tired. Like, I'm not wearing leather. Even I, would you wear leather now? Like, leather, everything. That reminds me of, like, Ross from friends when he was trying to put that leather pant on. Yes. You just can't fly to it. Listen, I don't know where jeans these days. And these are my
relaxed, wide leg jeans. And I still find it too constricting. For me, I'm like, even leggings now, I'm like, feels feels, feels, I feel like it's too tight. I got a word like loose loungewear. I live in leggings. I feel like I can't wear jeans anymore. And also, like, even on the motorcycle, where are we going to put our baby? Where am I going to put the oil? Oh, you're going to that
“part. I don't think you put your baby on a motorcycle. You don't. That's what I'm saying. So I can't”
do that on the motorcycle. Yeah. Like, imagine your reforms, bad boy, husband, you know, he has his motorcycle, his heart Lee. And he's like, let's go to the grocery store. We need to grocery store around. And you're like, okay, and you're in your sweats. And you put on your crocks. And then you get on his motorcycle and you're going to the fucking dual lasco. And then you ride that motorcycle. And there's just a bunch of flying into your mouth. I'm going to be like, I'm so glad.
I'm married of reforms of that boy. Are you going to say that then? No, you have the man who has bought a suburban at age 36. That's the should I want. Absolutely. I want the Bronco man. I need a man who's practical. Maybe a Toyota Camry. Anything. Exactly. It just can't be a motorcycle. Like, not at this age. No, you want the mini van. No, you want the mini van. So like, even that, no, I want a mini van. Okay. At this age, if I had to buy myself a car, I don't know, in a car.
I get a fucking mini van. I imagine you go to the grocery store on all the space you have in your car to put your groceries in. And not only can you put groceries in your car, you got, you could put your
“bike, you could put it like, you have three nights. Yeah, no, literally. That's that's what you want.”
Okay. And also, I'm not going to lie the new mini vans are sick. Like, every single kid has their own TV in a mini van. Oh, where are you watching TV's on my mini van? Well, then you have they come with it. You can't just be like, exclude the TVs. You can't turn them on. You don't think about. I don't really know what a mini van is. But I know I want it. I used to drive a mini van. So I'll tell you all about it later.
Oh, see, see, listen, you're, you don't need a reforms bad boy.
drive the mini van for you. I think the simple fact that I had the mini van is the reason why I
wanted the reformed bad boy that you see where my mind was. Like, yeah, yeah, the parallels of the world, but yeah, I'm good with being single though and not really focusing on dating either because I will say there's two different versions of me, the one that's single and the one that's dating on dating apps. When I'm single, I'm like, I don't need a man. I'm independent. I'm responsible. Just, you know, I'm healed. I'm calm collected. When I'm dating someone, I'm up all night
“be like, why didn't you text me? Yeah, I'm angry. Yes, and that's what stresses me out about dating”
is that you're totally right. Like, two versions of myself exist at all times. And when I am not looking for somebody or don't have a man in my life, everything is so peaceful and calm. And the minute I have a crush, it's out the window. I'm like, why is me texting me back?
Has he looked at my Instagram story? I posted a third shot. He has said nothing. No fire
emojis have come my way. I freak out internally. And yeah, I'm like, who is that bitch? Because it's not me one month ago. When I'm single, I don't care about anyone. I was like, listen, I only care about myself. My friends and my family. When I'm dating, I'm stalking their Spotify activity. Like, that's at least an hour of my day. I was like, what are they listening to? Have they dedicated playlists to people? Like, what you're doing? Yes. No, I'm responding to my text.
I'm definitely thinking about what I could buy them next. Or let me write a cute little note for them and bake their favorite cookies. Like, things that did not take up space in my brain before all of a sudden, it's all filled with him. Yeah, I hate that. So listen, like, you don't want to see me dating anyways. We won't have time for each other. But no, I think that there's definitely just like positive to being single and being in a relationship. And you're going to
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delete me dot com slash out of the pods and enter code out of the pods at checkout. That's joined delete me dot com slash out of the pods code out of the pods. We got to move on to our mild social emergency hotline because we got an email from a pod bestie and her mild social emergency is so crazy. Okay, so this is what she says deeply and Natalie. This is actually a major social emergency. My boyfriend and I live together and have been in a relationship for almost 10 years.
We started dating in high school but I've known him and his family since I was a child. His sister is my best best friend. I'm the maid of honor and her wedding that's coming up in two months. However, a few weeks ago, I found a very flirty text between my boyfriend and his co-worker and it's obvious he cheated on me with her at some point. I definitely want to end the relationship and will not be giving him another chance. But I haven't confronted him yet because it will impacts my
best friends aka his sister's wedding and she's very stressed with wedding planning. Is it selfish
“to confront him and and things with him now or shy and things with him after the wedding?”
Oh my gosh, throwing away a 10 year relationship like that pisses me off so much. And honestly, I feel like she can't wait for two months. She can't. She has to talk to him now. Yeah, I can't imagine living with my partner and knowing he cheated on me and not being able to say anything. Yeah, no, there's no way you can fake it for that long. The only thing that sucks about this is that
It's our best friends wedding.
your best friend, even though you're dating her brother. That's a tough one. That's a tough one.
“You know what I think you should do is during your maid of honor speech, you should expose it.”
My greatest lie show would be like you're all the text messages. He's been cheating on me. That would be the petty version that would ruin the wedding, but yeah, but it'd be like the ultimate revenge or or break up with him. If we're talking petty, break up with his us and bring another date to the wedding and dance with him all night long on that dance floor. Oh my gosh, I'm just kidding, you shouldn't do any of these things. Don't listen to us. But I do feel like
you should confront him now and and things and absolutely let his family know. Oh my God, all the times have been cheated on. My one regret is not letting their families know and like victimizing myself and being like, I can't believe this happened. Because they're so think that their son is like such a good guy. I want you to make sure you know the whole fucking details and stories and what he was texting other women. And also, if you're
“a relationship is wrong with his sister and that's your best friend. I think you break up with him now”
and then take the two months to kind of recover a little bit. He'll a little bit from it and then you can still go to the wedding and see him for the two three hours that you're going to be together. You could do that for your best friend. Yeah, I don't think it's selfish, but also if you don't want to go to the wedding, like, don't go. Because I think that also be really, really hard to, but I do think that you're from front him now and and it and let everyone know and also
like whatever feels right in your heart. You either go to the wedding or you don't. But at the end of the day, like none of this is your fault and you shouldn't like hold any of the responsibility of who, you know, what selfish or like who's going to be uncomfortable and is this going to impact your best friend, his sister is wedding planning like this happened. It was very selfish of your boyfriend, you end it and then see what happens from there. Like do you want to be in the wedding still?
I think she would very much understand if you didn't. Yeah, if you needed to pull out and take time for yourself to heal through the situation, you absolutely should do that. And I think it's normal to feel guilty to be like, oh my gosh, like am I going to ruin this wedding or am I being selfish? None of those things are true, none of this is your fault and you have the right to feel how you feel and move accordingly. You know what? I actually don't know what I would do in this situation.
I totally understand her thought of like, is it selfish to confront him and things now? Because I would also be thinking about that because she's in two different roles, like sure as as her boyfriend's partner but also his sister is her best friend. Whatever action happens next can impact the trajectory of what's going to happen in the future. So it makes sense to like be overwhelmed and think about all those things. But at the end of the day, you have to put yourself
first when someone, especially in this situation, when someone has done you wrong and it's
not your fault in any way, you know? But if it were me, I would break up right now and let his sister know immediately and bet you anything. I'm going to bet that his sister is also going to be on your side and you guys can come to a resolution together and see how you feel in like the next
“month or two. I think that's what I would do. And if you do decide to go to the wedding as the”
made of honor, then you're not forced to take these like couple photos with him or like, you know, like when you even take the family pictures, like when the groom and bride take the family picture, it's like, you don't want to like be in those pictures as his partner, you know? Gosh, I couldn't even imagine being in her situation though because like even thinking about like how you just laid all that out, like all these pictures and you think to yourself like,
oh, like this was going to be me at my wedding probably and like how like all of us would be together. And so I could not imagine how triggering it would be to actually go to the wedding. Like I say, yeah, cool, like maybe I'll be ready in two months to go after the breakup, but it would be really tough to go. Like imagine all the feelings that would come up. Oh my goodness. We'll just have to see. But I think I think it'll be okay. Like I think you'll be okay.
I think you just do the first step of ending it and then just see what happens from there and what
you're comfortable with whether it's going to the wedding or not going to the wedding. But at least, if you go to the wedding, you're not forced to take couples pictures with him. You're not
Forced to act like, you know, you love him and you know, you're in these fami...
partner, like, you know, how partners typically stand together. So at least that's something that
“can be avoided and it's not pitched, you know, because those pictures, I think will last forever,”
obviously. Like people look back on their wedding pictures and at least you could avoid that. So, and it would give time for the bride to pivot in any way that she needs to. Hi, Bessie, we feel for you. We are rooting for you. Let us know what you do or don't let us know. Take your time, but we love you. We're here for you in rooting for you. Thanks for submitting your mouth social emergency, which has a mild unfortunately. Is it just me or are you still thinking about
the bad bunny Super Bowl half-time show like I am? I loved it, but I'm mostly thinking about Charlie who's Super Bowl National Anthem. Oh, he killed it. That was... I know that he is very, very talented, but I forget sometimes because why isn't he more famous? No, I didn't know he was that talented, but like for me Whitney Houston's National Anthem is like the highest standard. Like that's that Charlie Pooce, not saying he was like close, but he was like top 10 close, you know,
like it was really, really good. He did like the traditional like no like furgies like it was very like you sing it, how you sing it, type the thing that I loved it. No one could do worse than furgie if I'm being honest with you. I don't blame her though. If someone asked me to sing
“the National Anthem, I think I'd be like furgie. I'd like rift it up and do a bunch of notes that”
don't belong. Charlie Pooce honestly really surprised me and I agree. I don't know why he's not more famous, but I think it's because he doesn't showcase his vocals. Like you know, um, the main song I know him for. It's the, we don't talk anymore. We don't talk anymore. And I was
like, listen there. I've never heard you bell on that song. No, what's crazy to me is he always
pops up on my TikToks and I'm always like holy shit. He's so talented, but for some reason, pops up on your TikToks. Like he's like, hello in the background. Deep tears me. He listened to my voice. No, he's always been so talented, but for some reason, he just isn't as famous as he should be. No, I always think about that of like how many people with like immense talent are out there just in the general population and they'll never be famous. They're just so good. No one will ever
know what a waste. I mean, look at me. If you heard me sing in the shower, you'd be like, that's more scary. Here I am. I don't think anyone has ever, the shower version of my voice is like angel singing in the sky. We guys, I need to. I'm glad you're gassing yourself up. Wow. No, I'm
just kidding, but okay one time, um, I don't even know. I was again, I feel like we always say that we never
go out, but I was going to say I was at an event. So really, we go to a lot of events. But like a couple of months ago, I was coming home from an event that I did late. Like I got home at like one thirty a.m. And one thing about me, when I come home from an event, bar club, I'm immediately showering. That's serial killer behavior. You know, even when I'm exhausted or like really, really drunk, I'm jumping into the shower no matter what. Like, I'm not jumping into my bed unless
a shower is had. Meanwhile, I'm like going straight to bed after makeup is off. I was like, I'll wash my sheets tomorrow. No, like, not me. Like, I don't feel satisfied until like I'm shoured off. But anyways, so I jumped to the shower and I turned on my bathroom event. I live in a apartment building. So when you turn on my event, you can hear other people,
“like I think in their bathrooms when their vents are also open. Anyways, I've speakers in my”
bathroom. So I turn it on and I put on if I ain't got you by at least a kiss. And then I come into the shower. That's a hard one. And I'm fucking melting. I was like, some people wanted. I'm like going at it in my shower. And I get out of my shower and I'm like continuing to like sing the song. And then someone in my event goes, hey, be quiet. You're too loud.
I would be deceived. I would turn off my event and I was like, I would never see my apartment again.
I know. And then wait a few weeks after, I had to get something fixed in my apartment. So I asked them maintenance panels. Like, how many people share that? Like, I was trying to figure out, like, could they figure out it was me? Only you would be still talking about that. And he goes, oh, I don't know, like, oh, no, sure. I just didn't talk in the elevators when other residents were were in the elevators with me because I was like, I don't want anyone to know.
Like, what do you do? Scream. That me is like in this elevator. I don't want to recognize my voice.
I would be looking out the people to make sure there's nobody walking by ever...
the apartment. So they didn't associate me with the apartment. I was like, I hope he wasn't a
“pot bestie. And he's like, wait a minute, is that Natalie? Actually, I wonder if whoever heard it”
is going to listen and actually reach out to you, be like, so that was you. Yeah, I fucking night. It was so embarrassing. I responded, oh, I love our Midwestern. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it was really shocking to me how well Charlie Pooth can sing. I mean, he is a singer, but you know, like, some, some singers can't sing. Some singers can't sing. No, and even bad bunny. He absolutely killed it. That was the first time I've ever actually watched him perform. Ricky Martin
popping up. Pedro Pascal was there. Like Alex Earl. That was a little out of pocket. It was like, I was like, you fit. You don't know. Like, I was like, oh, I was like, I thought like a very
surprise. I was going to ask if you had let's say like an amazing singing voice.
And, you know, you were going on love as mine. Would you try to show it? Like, would you be like, this is my chance to show my singing ability? I want to know. You would. Would you? Would you of course? Like, if I sang like Whitney Houston, if I had like her voice and I was going on love as blind, I don't know what's hard to say. I want to say yes. I'd be like, this is my chance to shine.
“But I think about Sal from our season with the ukulele and how much how much heat he got. Like,”
people are like, he's just trying to get a record deal, which I think. But guys, Sal was not trying to get a record deal. I will say I was like, why was he singing so much? It's a passion. Right, but listen, rotting in my bed is also my passion. It wasn't like I was doing that on TV. If you could, you would. That's true. Yeah, no, I feel like if it's my passion, best believe if I sounded like Whitney Houston, like you said, I would be the most unknowing
person on the planet, because I would be singing every fucking sentence. Every sentence, I would like, well, come on, besties to add of the song. No, sure. I think about that. Like, I think my moment would be during the reveal. Like, if there's any place, I would really show it. It would be during the reveal. If my partner started singing to me at the reveal, I would walk out the other door and be like, this is the time you decided. No, I feel like the
reveals the best place to do it, because there's no escape. You know, I feel like when you're in the pods, like producers can probably edit out you singing. But during the reveal, if you've seen that whole time, there's no way. Oh, God, it's seeing that. It's out. So it's strategic. Yeah. Yeah. And like my partner, if they're a cloud chaser, they're going to see that engagement through. They're going to make it to the next co-round.
They're like, at this point, if I was on the next season and I was a singer, I would absolutely do it during the reveal. I know that my my partner wouldn't end and that relationship at reveal. There's no way. That's so funny. Like, I just imagine, like, forget a singer. What if it's like a comedy person? They're like, now's the time I'm going to do my stand up towards open. Oh, my gosh. I know if you're asking me like, hello, I bet you're surprised that I look like
the way I do. I would literally die if I'm choosing me and I'm so thankful that I choose to you. That's pretty good. That's not like rebu. Oh, what is rebu doing? It's like a single mom who works too.
Do you love your kids and never stops? Yep. You got it.
“Um, I think that's what I would do. Love it. Okay. Well, and then I think Atlantic”
records would be like, wait, let's make her a star. Rock nation, Jay-Z's record label would be like, that's pretty nice. Thanks. You know, you know, there's literally, like, people who go to juliarne work their entire lives. And this, which just goes on love as blind as like, I'm a singer now. It gets record deal. Can you imagine? My goal would be at least in the top 200 on iTunes.
That'd be sick. There's quite a few reality TV stars who've doubled in the music era. Didn't Caitlin Bristol come out with a song. Mm-hmm. You heard a, put up from home island. Put up from love island season seven is, um, there's been clips of her in a record studio. I think she's going to come out with like, come out with music, which what I just have a feeling that track is going to be pretty lit.
I think she has a great idea.
She's just good voice too. So, um, interesting way. Well, Natalie, I think we can conclude this episode
“with you, trying to hit up a record label. I agree. I think on out of the pots, I'm going to”
start singing more. I'm not going to say no to that at all because, yeah, what your voice isn't
actually that bad. I thought it would be way worse, but I'm going to be the next Asian reba.
“And I'm that note pod busses. We'll see you next week. Bye.”
[Music]
