Love and Money: Financial Decisions People Immediately Regret

[MUSIC]

>> Ever made a questionable financial decision for the sake of love?

Well, today we're talking love and tragedy, awlash, Shakespeare and Nicholichay. >> I was just saying for me, again, call me old school, but there's something about a guy that I'm like, I just want to know.

>> No lighting? >> Yeah, for your ability to provide for your own person. >> I don't know why, but I can't. >> Has less of a soul than a dog?

“>> Have you ever set up two people and it backfired?”

>> Oh boy. [MUSIC] >> Hey, guys, I'm Rachel Cruz. >> I'm George Campbell. >> And this is Smart Money Happy Hour.

[MUSIC] >> Well, this is the short two friends who have been doing many experts talk about what you're talking about. Everything from pop culture, current events and money.

>> And let's talk about what we're sitting on today.

It is a trophy wife, Spritz mocktail. >> It looks glittery. >> I know, it's fun. >> If nothing else. >> You see it in the camera right there,

all spinning glittery. >> Just what I was wanting. I was like, you know what I need today, forget fiber and carbs and protein. I need more glitter in my life.

>> Oh, so good. >> Well, stick around to the end. We're going to give you our rating and reveal the cost per glass. >> George, have you seen love as blind? >> I saw a season against my will.

>> Yes, the one with the chain guy in it? >> Yeah. >> That was the most epic season. Did it go downhill after that? >> Yeah, there's been some good ones.

I've not watched the most recent, but I can binge love as blind. >> It's a great concept, I will say. As far as reality, trash TV goes. >> And it kind of pushes the whole idea to the limit of like, yeah, it is love blind.

“Like, can you really fall in love with someone without ever seeing them?”

And man, I'll tell you that love last, that's the big question. >> I know, and a lot of them don't, which makes me think you gotta be probably physically attracted to the person, too. Let's just throw it out there.

>> Yeah. >> But what we see is some tragedy on the Ramsey show when it comes to love, because people are blinded by love, and they make some terrible financial decisions, because of love, either for another person romantically or even for their family.

And so, we're going to dive into this episode. >> We're going to react to and unpack some of these predicaments. So let us know what you think in the comments as we go along. All right, first, we're going to relive a call that our friend, Jade Worsha, and I took about a boyfriend, girlfriend, credit card, debacle.

This one was a doozy. >> Oh, man, a tough one. Okay, let's check it out. >> I want to know if your guys' opinions on me taking a second consolidation on out for my boyfriend's credit card back.

>> Ooh, it sounds like for you. It was like three bad decisions wrapped up in one. How did we get here? >> So I've been with my boyfriend for about two years. And when we met, when we met, he was making a good income.

I always made a good income.

He, I guess, didn't really understand credit cards. I'm a credit card person. And I know you guys hate that term. But I really, I've never been in debt. I'm the one person that's angled to, like,

reap the benefits, not pay the interest. >> Okay. >> But my boyfriend has taught me now why people are not credit card people. >> Okay. >> He didn't really understand, I guess, interest.

And the first time around, was about a year ago, I was hoping to move in with him taking a chance, but we wouldn't do that without 20,000 credit card guys. >> Okay. >> And so I had an offer, 0% interest, 15 months up to 20 grams.

I said, I don't need it. I'll take it. And I gave it to Heather about 16, I gave it some sort of self. >> Wait, you gave him the money for that. >> Hold on, let me make sure I understand this.

You took out the credit card in your name, but gave it to him to use. >> No, so it was a credit card loan. He had his own credit card, but I took out a consolidation loan for him. Because I was given an offer, like, to me to just take out X amount of money I need. >> But it's in your name.

>> Yes, and it's most in paid off, actually. >> Okay, so help me explain where we're at now. Because my thought is like, if you took out a loan and it didn't work, why are we taking out another one? >> And why isn't she doing this?

>> It bothers me. There's a couple things that bothers me about this. A, that you're on the line, and he's not. That's the raging thing that he was on you. >> And then you're the one taking out, yeah, to George's point.

You're the one taking out the loans. Even though he's paying it, the loan is in your name, and you're saying, hey, you can do it like this. Yeah, it feels like you're kind of in charge, and you're trying to mold him into who you want him to be financially.

And he's like, all right, you want me to do this. Okay, I'll do it a little bit. And, does, do you see that? >> Yeah, I definitely do, and that's something I, you know, plans for it.

“I think that's probably what happened the first time.”

I did this point, you know, 30,000 in the media that it's not more.

>> Also, we went from 20, paid it almost off and now we're at 30.

>> Yeah.

“>> Okay, and what's he spending it on, does he not have a job?”

What's going on?

>> No, so she takes home about, he makes 80 before taxes.

So he compays about 43 amounts, and I think it's not because the numbers. We just moved in together, and I didn't know he was back in debt until we after we moved in together, so I would have not have done that. >> Going forward when I would not do in your shoes or in his shoes, is I would not combine my money with this person.

That's A1, and I would not put my neck on the line to get the amount of debt because there's not a true, true commitment there, and there's certainly no legality there to protect either of you. And so I would keep this, if you're going to choose to live together, that's your choice.

I might say something different, and I would say something different. I'd ask, well, why don't you just get married? But if you're not going to get married at the very least,

keep your money separate, because he's getting himself into this mess,

and he has a habit of spending more than he makes. He spends all that he gets and then some, and he's not really interested in doing anything about it. George, she seems like to be the only person who's interested in getting him out of that, which, again, is you can talk more about it than he does, and at this point, it's enabling.

Would you agree? >> Yeah, I mean, I would agree, which I can't say my breaking point recently. >> And when it sounds like you've made an ultimatum, like, hey, we're not going to move this relationship forward unless you get out of debt. >> Yes. >> But then you moved in with him.

Do you have any debt? >> Sort of pushing it on. >> No, I don't, I have maybe 10,000 into the loans, but that's not a great interest. >> Okay, so a trick question, number one, you do, because you took out the credit card loan in your name, plus you still have the student loans, so you've got your own financial goals,

and we're trying to babysit this guy into doing the right things financially. So, I feel like we got to get our ducks in a row, and you go, dude, you live your life. We're not going to combine finances. >> Yeah. >> You want to take this seriously, let me know, at this point, this relationship is at a standstill. >> Yeah.

>> To our man. >> I had just relive the trauma from that call. >> I know, oh, man, I love that you said trick question, yes, you do have debt.

“>> Well, no, I don't have, well, I still, why do people just tell us the truth?”

>> I'm like, okay. >> Okay. >> So blinded by love. >> So blinded by love. >> And call me like the Grinch of Relationships. But dating a guy that goes $30,000 in credit card debt, not attractive.

Like, even if I was not even this hardcore no debt person, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, that feels so immature to me and irresponsible. It'd be one thing, if it was like something we talked to these people, they lose a job, they have four kids to support, they put their application out, they can't find. And you know, I mean, like, there's some like big stories with big things.

>> Like medical debt or something. >> Just like a single guy in New York City who's like, yeah, I may not make enough till of the life saw I want it. So I'm just going to keep on swiping $30,000 worth. >> Well, wouldn't you have you had sugar mom over here floating with more lines of credit?

>> No, no, no, I'm just like, I don't know, for me, I'm like, give me a responsible dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, someone that's going to show some level of self restraint, I don't know. So that was a, yeah.

>> It starts to. >> It's like decent intentions. I'm not even going to say good because she wants to help him. >> Yeah. >> That's the only part of my, okay, I get it, you want to help him, but you're helping this

“person in the worst way possible while putting your situation at risk, while combining”

your life together.

>> Can you give a $20,000 loan, basically, in your name?

>> With a guy who you don't trust that just lied to you that now you owe the debt for. >> Yeah. >> It just red flags all around zero green flags so far, do not pass code, do not collect $200. >> That's what I felt about that call. >> Love is blind.

Okay, so not a romantic type relationship by any means, but Dave and I dad and I have this call of an 18 year old kid who is in a car loan with his mom, and this was, yeah, this was a doozy. >> When I was younger, I'm only 21 now, but when I turned 18, especially to my mom, trying to have me coastline on a loan for her, for a car.

>> Good car. >> You have the car, because she is terrible credit. >> You didn't have any remaining money. >> Yeah, no, I didn't have no credit, and I didn't know anything about finances at all back then, but she had me coastline on the loan, and then the car got re-plowed, and now

the loan is on my credit as well, and I don't know if I should just pay it, or if I should do over this any other way, it took on to get out of it. >> Wow, Hunter, that's financial abuse by your parent, I'm sorry, it's completely immoral.

Do you have any information on how much the deficit amount is that they're tr...

after the repo?

>> It's about 10,000 is how much it's left, but it's been like a year or two since we got

to take in, so it's been to collections by now, so I don't really know what to do there, because I know you -- >> Your damage to your credit board is going to stay there.

“The only thing we can do is limit the damage by settling your portion of the deficit, okay?”

>> Yeah. >> And so what I'm going to say is after you finish what I'm going to tell you to do, and it's going to take you a little bit of effort, but after you finish this, it will show that you have been repowed because you have, and that you settled the deficit, so it's like a bad debt that you settled, which is better than just a bad debt, like way better,

okay? >> Yeah. >> As far as your credit bureau goes, all right? Not that worried about your credit, I don't want you doing this kind of stuff again, and hopefully you stay away from your mother when it comes to financial transactions.

>> Yeah. >> Definitely learned my lesson? >> Yeah. So do you have any contact with the company that is trying to collect the deficit?

>> They sent me some letters, but other than that now.

>> Perfect. Okay. Pull that letter out. It's got a phone number on it. Call them.

>> We'll do. >> All right. >> Let me give you some real clear information. Their job is a game. Their job is to screw with you when you get on the phone. Okay?

>> Your job is first. You give them no information except that phone number, which you could block if you need to later. Okay? >> Got you.

>> And then you tell them the truth. Okay? I was 18 years old. My mother asked me to coastline this. I had no idea.

I was doing it and your company let me to be taken advantage of. I'm considering suing you. >> Okay. >> In other words, we're going to start with the offense instead of a defense. But I think I'm not going to.

“I think it would be cheaper if as a 21 year old who's broke and you can't get anything from me.”

Because I don't have anything. It might be cheaper for both of us if we just settled my portion of this. You can chase her for whatever you want to chase her for. But I want to settle my portion of the $10,000. I have a thousand dollars.

I'll give you for that. >> Got you. >> Okay. You're probably going to be able to pull that off at about six conversations, putting up with abusive moronic individuals on the other end of the phone.

And you'll probably be able to negotiate that for $2,000 or less. My portion of this settled. Remember this phrase settled in full. And I've A got to have that in writing. B, you will not have electronic access to my personal checking account.

I will wire you the money or send you a prepaid $1,000 debit card. Okay. Because if they have access to your checking account, they're scum, they'll clean you out. They lie.

The collections business is filthy. >> Papa Dave's going to pop a Dave. >> I love it. >> The parental. >> The bulldog comes out.

“>> The parental, yeah, bulldog comes out on those calls for sure.”

Isn't that sad though, at 18? >> Yeah. >> That this mom asked him to sign. And he co-sign didn't know what he was doing on your 18. Like a senior in high school.

>> Dave's spot on. That was financial abuse. >> Yeah. >> For a mom to have her kid do that because of her terrible credit, which shows what else is going on.

>> I know. She's obviously desperate to figure out, but it's just bad decision after bad decision in the Europa kid and your bad decisions. And then it gets re-powed. >> Yeah.

>> And people don't understand when they co-sign alone, they're going, well, I guess I can help them out. And you don't understand. That's you taking on that debt. Because the company doesn't trust the other individual

to even pay the debt back. >> Yes. >> So if a bank who loves loans doesn't want to give a loan, red flag, right? >> Yeah.

>> We don't want to trust the 18-year-old who's broke to take it on. They're going, well, we'll just reap a, either way, the lender's going to make their money. >> Yes, I know. >> So they don't care.

And people don't understand that even when you repo a car, they still come after you for the difference. Because they take it to auction, sell it for way less than it's worth. >> That's right. >> It's still come after you.

>> Yes, it's your every situation sell it as fast as you can. Even if you're under water, get it sold, do not let it get repowed.

>> Never, ever, ever co-sign any type of loan, but especially a car.

And he would have been better off going, mom, I got three grand. I can try to get you as best a car I can for three grand.

That would have been a better scenario.

She really wanted to help her out. >> So hard, man. >> So tough.

“Well, I'll tell you one thing that does brighten my mood is when I get into bed”

and I have my cozy Earth sheets. And I have cozier towels and blankets and all the things in my life because it is amazing. Cozierous products are incredible. The quality is unmatched, you guys.

And all of their new collections are incredible. The Baja collection for their bedding. It's dreamy, beautiful. And so pleasant to look at. Like it's so soothing.

It's so great.

So they always keep up, I feel like with the trends.

There's always this level that feels very elevated with all their stuff. But it's not obnoxious. It's like wonderful, beautiful things. >> Absolutely. And my toddlers had hard time falling asleep.

So she wants me to lay next door for a little bit. And so what do I have? The cuddle blanket. And that's what I'm using on the floor. And it still feels luxurious.

Even on the floor. If you've got the cuddle blanket, you're living like a king. >> You're here living like a king. >> So that's what I've been doing. And I don't think I can medically say this,

“but I think it can cure season on depression.”

It's as if I was close to you get without medication and sunshine. >> I know. >> Because it just during these cold months, it just gives you a little bit of warmth and joy. >> So helpful.

And they're giving it our listeners a great deal. >> Killer deal. You can get up to 20% off when you go to cozyearth.com/smartmoney and use promo code smart money at checkout.

And if you get a post-purchase survey, let them know that you heard about them on smart money happy hour. >> Okay, George. Here's, we're going to list out three financial decisions that people regret making before marriage.

>> Okay.

>> I'll throw my first one out.

>> Buying a house together before marriage. >> Oh, boy. >> Putting both of your names on the loan, on the deed, all of it. You're sharing a house that any legal repercussions

because there's no legal protection, no security. >> No legal binding there. >> Going into the biggest financial transaction of their life. >> Oh, my gosh.

We get this so much. Because at least if you are married and something happens, the courts are going to help you settle. You're going to figure out, you know, asset allocation all of it.

When you are not married. And if you break up and it happens, even though you may be thinking, that will never happen. We'll never break up.

He's my forever. We get the call on the Ramses show.

And it's like, hey, I bought a house with my girlfriend five years ago

and she's been living in it. And now I'm trying to get married and buy my own house with a new girlfriend. And I can't because this old, I mean, it will evict her.

>> I have to evict her. >> I mean, it is horrible to untangle you guys. It is terrible. >> And there's so many complexities to it. Because they're like, well, I put more down than she did.

And I was paying more towards the mortgage than she was. And I paid for the renovation repair and she didn't. So even getting out of it is a nightmare. And even if one person owns it and you decide to move in and pay them rent, well, if the relationship goes sideways,

“now they're going, well, how do I get that money back?”

>> That's right. >> You don't. >> No. >> Is the truth. And so it really, there's no good situation I've heard come out of this.

And so we tell people all the time to avoid it. Because all we hear on the Ramses show is the terrible things that can happen and will happen. >> For sure. Since you're not purchased a house together.

>> Just rent your marriage. Just please rent and ideally separately. We've just found that works out better. And when you're ready to get married and move in together, do that. >> That's right.

>> But do not put your name on a property together until you're married. >> Here's mine. Co-signing on a car before marriage. >> Oh. >> So we talked about this with the caller who co-signed a car for his mom.

But this is with the person you're in love with and they can't afford it, Rachel. And they just really need that car. So just be a good boyfriend. >> Come on. >> Be a good girlfriend.

>> I don't want to put it on the girls. >> Thank you for the girls. >> I appreciate that. >> This goes both ways. We've seen it all in the Ramses show.

>> Darren needs help sometimes. >> Darren. >> It is usually a Darren. >> All right. Number three, paying off your partner's debt before marriage.

>> This one has like sweet intentions. >> I'm funny to be responsible. And I want to just help that handle the mess. >> It comes with the purest heart. I really do think.

This is like the, I'm going to use my money because I see them struggling. Or you know, they need help. And so I'm going to give my hard earned money to this boy from a girlfriend. And it's going to be great. And sometimes it works out, you know.

And sometimes you even break up and you still don't regret it because you're just this person. >> You're just such a good person. >> But majority of the time. It's like, oh my gosh, I say $15,000 in my own money. And I paid off his credit cards.

And then he left me and started dating someone else. And you're like, I actually do $15 or whatever the number is right. >> Or they kept going into debt and the relationship didn't work out because of probably financial reasons and otherwise, just incompatible.

The adds to the resentment of the broken relationship is you have all the sha...

>> Yes.

>> Like why did I do that?

I'm so stupid. Again, just purely blinded by love. So what's the better alternative? >> You can still save up money. And then after you come back from the honeymoon,

you've got a big pile of cash you can use to pay off your debt collectively. >> Right. >> Our debt. >> That's the healthy way to do it. But not a moment sooner.

>> No. And even if you're engaged, I wouldn't. Because again, there's no, I mean, there's no way, yeah, wait till you're married.

“And again, you can be saving as if you're paying off that debt, right?”

So if she comes in with a $40,000 student loan in your debt free, you can be saving on the side. And she can be working to pay that off. So about the time you get married, maybe it's down to $30,000. And you've saved $10,000, right?

And now there's a $20,000 loan that you guys are going to talk together after you get married. But yeah, don't be swapping money until after you're married. >> You're just clean. >> Tackle your own debt individually until you're officially married.

>> That's right. >> That's right. >> And then once you get married, you want to combine your finances and combining your money and sharing an account is so smart and doing it with fair wins credit union is even better.

Because fair wins offer so many incredible packages,

including the smart bundle, which is a no fee checking account, a high owed savings account, and the Ramsey debit card, it says debt is normal, be weird. >> As a say, it's cute. Can a debit card be cute?

>> I think so. >> I think so. >> I think so. >> Yeah, it's all of it. But it's so great.

And so Winston and I opened up the smart bundle. And even their app, you guys, on fair wins, like we connected this other checking account that we had to it. It is so easy to use, the interface is so easy. The debit card is wonderful.

And that's what I use now. I was at dinner with a bunch of girlfriends the other night. We all put the cards in the table because we're all split in the check. It was funny. >> There was a lot of chat.

>> All credit cards. >> All black credit cards. >> I mean all these things. >> GMX. >> That's how naive I am.

I didn't know that some of the credit cards are thick. Like when was like really like. >> Got some weight to it. >> Yeah, and I threw my fair wins debit card right. That blue shine through like a beacon of light.

>> You know the most impressive part. >> That was the one card that actually had real money attached to it. >> I know. So yeah, pulling out the fair wins debit card. I love it.

So you can get an account if you go to fair wins dot org slash rams. And open up your smart bundle today. >> All right. Let's flip the script Rachel. If you had to list the top three financial mistakes,

people make with non romantic family members. What would those be?

“So I think parents, kids, cousins and all.”

>> Okay, yeah. Number one for me probably loaning money to a relative. >> Classic one. >> I know. >> Again really sweet good intentions here.

You want to help someone in need. And who better than family to do that to you? >> Yeah, it's like siblings or in laws, parents. And it just changes the relationship. Again, the giving portion is great.

Right. If you are in a place financially and someone needs help or something comes up and you want to just give that money. Give it. If you don't feel like you're enabling behavior over and over and over again,

right? >> There's an actual need versus like, well, they're just bad with money. Let me throw more money at the brunt. >> That's right.

>> That's right. >> So the giving part is great. It's the loaning and waiting for it to be paid back. >> So awkward because then you're looking at everything that's spending money on.

>> You see your Instagram posts from the vacation. You go away. You owe me money. >> And this happens all with parents who give like loan their kids money. >> Uh-huh.

>> This can even happen the other way.

“We see this on the Ramsey show of my mom is irresponsible,”

my dad and I loan the money and they never paid me back or my sister.

>> Yeah. >> And this has happened multiple times and I keep giving her money and she doesn't pay back or she did pay back two times, but now she hasn't. And again, you don't want this relationship to become

lender and lendy. >> Yeah. >> Wanted to stay an intimate family relationship with no strings attached. >> Yes.

>> Keep it separate. Keep it separate. Not worth. >> Yeah. >> I've just never seen where it doesn't change a relationship.

People like, oh, they're, I can't believe how cruel they are. I'm like, I care about the family member and the relationship more than this transaction. If they need money, they can go to a lender and get it. >> Yes.

>> Yeah, that's right. There's a whole world of debt. If they really need it. >> Yeah. >> You don't want to be the bank.

>> You don't want to be the bank. >> All right. Next up, how about this one? Co-signing alone for relatives that you don't share a bank account with. >> Yeah.

>> Like that car video we just wanted. >> Yeah. I mean, it's all the co-signing. We haven't talked about this episode, but man. >> It's one thing to be the personal lender.

It's another to co-sign and now you're a part of this. >> You're the triangle of the bank account. >> Now someone can come after you and sue you. >> Yes. And then it's your freaking in laws or your parents or whoever it is.

That caused that to happen. You know what I mean? Like that kid in his mom. It's like, oh, then there's probably a level of frustration you have. With them, because they've affected your life.

Now when you are trying to be like quote unquote, like, good person of the co-signer. So yeah, not worth it. >> Too much risk there. And then how about this one? Supporting them at the expense of your own finances.

>> This is a hard one.

I know.

We talked to so many people that are trying to get in place financially where they have control. They're getting out of debt.

“Like they're trying to do the all the right things.”

And then they're trying to support someone else on the side. That's not doing the right things. And it ends up being this like black hole of money. So getting to a place where you are financially good. Honestly, it's probably the best thing.

Like getting out of debt and emergency funds that those basics. Making that beer priority. And then above that, if you do choose to help someone, you can. But you're like drowning in a boat, you know, and everyone's drowning around you. And no one's going to end up being saved.

All right, you're all going down at the ship.

>> Yeah, you got to put your own mask on first.

And we see that a lot, especially like young family. They have kids are trying to get out of debt. And they're like, well, mom and dad need our help. And so we're going to try to give them money instead of cleaning up our own mess. Well, you're just going to perpetuate the mess.

Generally at that point where your kids are going to clean up your mess. And so on and so forth. So you have to be the one to break it. And go, no, I'm going to get my family in a great position. And if one day, we can help those around us and family members.

We're going to try to do that. >> That's right, that's right. >> Get your own house. >> Because generosity is part of it all.

“But again, you can't be overly outrageously generous by helping someone.”

If you have built it by yourself, right, and you're trying to keep your family afloat. So that's not being self-assuring. It's being responsible and taking care of your own household first, which is totally great and good. >> That's great.

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>> And they're giving us a great discount. >> And they're giving us a great discount. >> And they're giving us a great discount. >> And they're giving us a great discount. >> And it's usually wealthy your people that own boats.

>> And so taking out debt to do it on top of not doing the math to go. We can't even afford the monthly cost of this thing. And then going well, I guess we can't use it. It's just sitting there collecting dust. Going down in value while your loan balance keeps going up.

>> Yep. >> That's sad. >> So remember, these are toys.

“And that's why we always say pay cash for your toys.”

Make sure anything in your life with motors and wheels doesn't add up to more than half your annual income. That will keep you from making a regretful decision. >> Amen. >> All right, last one, I bought my ex-Fiance a car.

Instead of paying my second year of college,

he only paid me back $200 and we broke up months later. >> Oh, no. >> Ex-Fiance a George C. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance. >> The old ex-Fiance.

Transcript

[MUSIC]

>> Also, we went from 20, paid it almost off and now we're at 30.

Do you have any information on how much the deficit amount is that they're tr...

That would have been a better scenario.

The adds to the resentment of the broken relationship is you have all the sha...

I know.

>> And they're giving us a great discount.

>> The old ex-Fiance.

>> The old ex-Fiance.

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