Episode #97: The Lost Art of ACCOUNTABILITY! Years of mistakes I made and how accountability changed my life! Societal impact on accountability and the need to take responsibility of our own!!

I, like so many others, overlooked the crucial importance of my mitochondria, when you're

“mitochondria work better, everything works better.”

Maintaining muscle gets harder with age and cellular energy plays a significant role in strength and function. My world turned upside down when I learned about mitochondria gummies. My depear gummies are longevity gummies and the only clinically proven form of uraluth in a shown in human studies to help renew mitochondrial function, which is designed to support

cellular energy, so you feel stronger and more vibrant as you age. They are my key component to longevity and quality of life. Not only do they taste great, but they are sugar and elegant, free, non-GMO and clean label projects certified, support your cells and how you age with mitochondrial gummies from timeline.

Visit timeline.com/dillinjamelly to save up to 39% off your mitochondrial gummies. That's timeline.com/dillinjamelly Alright, everybody, welcome back to the Dillinjamelly podcast

“and today, you just have me doing a little bit of a rant, maybe?”

I don't want to call it a rant. That's not what I do any longer, but what I am going to do is discuss the lost art of accountability. Now, I am coming from the direction of somebody who was Mr. Blamegame, the most unaccountable person on the planet until I went through a transformation and did a complete 18360, whatever you want to call it, and became what I believe is a far, far more accountable person.

Now, becoming accountable on everything that we do is extremely, extremely difficult,

and it's always a work in progress, but I will tell you that one of the biggest and best

changes that I ever made in my own personal life was when I finally started to look in the mirror, and I'm not saying that metaphorically, I'm saying that in all seriousness, looking directly at myself in the mirror and saying, "This was on you. This was not on anybody else. You can't continue to blame everybody else and make excuses."

For every single thing that goes wrong or doesn't go your way, when you're able to sit there and look at yourself and talk to yourself and not in a crazy way, but in the way

“that it's almost like when you're getting that lecture that you know you need to hear.”

You still don't want to hear it, but you know when you're hard of hearts that you need it. It is very difficult to look at your own self and light yourself. Now, there are certainly people that can do it, but more often than not, when you take that time to just sit there and stare directly in the mirror and actually have that conversation

with yourself, it is very, very difficult to be dishonest with yourself. And if you are able to do that, well, that's not a great sign, but let's just take a couple steps back here on my end and then I'll discuss with you the things that I have observed over the years and how it's progressively gotten worse and what my hope is when people hear this coming for me that it will help them change and what I mean by that is this.

I am one of those people that most people don't look at and think I'm fear mongering or being like overly aggressive in lecture. I am the realest guy you're going to come across. I told my story plenty of times, went to prison. I know what it's like to think you're invincible and then realize you're not and I just

give it straight. I tell everybody, this is the old statement that I used to make on YouTube is that I'm not your dad. You do whatever you want, but I am going to tell you this that I speak from experience and my whole goal here as I continuously say is to do God's work and help people to prevent

themselves from making so many of the mistakes that I either made or observed other people made. I am a million miles from perfect, clearly considering of all the things I've done wrong in the past. The one thing that I do think that I do well is that I learn from my mistakes and a lot

of times I say this and if you look back in time, some of the best teachers have made the most mistakes, but they don't repeat those mistakes and they teach others how to kind of improve from them. So I spent all of my younger years coming up with an excuse for everything. I couldn't hold a job longer than a couple of weeks for the most part and when I did,

I was always in trouble or doing something that forced people that ran businesses to eventually

didn't want to let me go.

“But I would push them to the limit and I always came home with an excuse of some kind”

to my mom and dad.

There was always an excuse and it was never my fault.

And then that kind of trickled over into my sporting career where when I was younger I trained so hard in my dad started training me and I was three and four years old and I was always a pretty well elite athlete and in a much higher bracketed group of people always a starter on every team but I'll tell you what happened. I started to take it for granted, I started to stop my work ethic in my practicing and

everybody caught up to me and I always had an excuse. It was always an excuse of why it happened. Some injury that didn't exist or some reason that I couldn't do this or couldn't do that when an old sexuality was just, I just thought I was better than everybody and got lazy

“and that stuff catches up to you and instead of taking accountability and saying, you”

know what, I stopped putting in the effort, I stopped doing this, I just continued to make excuse after excuse after excuse until you get to a point where it's just too late.

You're never going to catch up, you fall so far behind and you spend so much time and

energy lying to yourself and to others that it's too late and that's my concern with so many people now. If you spend all of these years, especially your really quality years of transformation and your 20s to kind of becoming an adult and instead of putting your head down and grind and taking good constructive criticism, admitting when you're wrong and fixing it, a lot

of people and it's gotten more and more prevalent and I'm going to get into why in a minute, they make excuse after excuse after excuse, and I'm not saying there's not valid excuses at times. I'm not saying that every time something goes wrong, it's always your fault. That is not what I'm saying because that is also not true, but more often than not most

people aren't able to admit their inadequacies or their inability to perform certain way and just want to blame it on something else and I will pinpoint a lot of societal things. I don't like to get into any political stuff or government stuff, but I do when it comes to certain things like our foods and things maybe with healthcare and any sort of thing

where I find that people and control and power are doing something that I know not something that I have a conspiracy thought on that I know and I see to be true and real. Because there's a big difference. I don't ever come on here and talk about stuff that I am not certain of and I can tell you with one million percent certainty not just from what I observe and see, but from

people that I know in certain places on what the messaging was meant to do and what it is doing and there was a definite precise measure here to cause division and to cause people to make excuses and to try to create a different type of environment that does not lead to success and what I've seen is and so many of you have seen this and let me preface this by saying I'm not saying that certain things don't exist.

Racist some does exist. There's a lot of stereotypes that do exist these things do exist they have and they're

always going but my point in staying that is now it's come to the point where every single

person has a built and excuse for every single thing that goes wrong it could be your gender it could be your race it could be your age it could be the way that you look there is a built in excuse for anything and everything and that has been come straight from the top and that has been pushed down people's strokes to the point they actually believe it like I said those things do exist but to the extent that we're told that they exist

is so far fetched and so out so far out the left field it is absolutely ass-in-ine now there's a lot of people who don't fall for that stuff because there are so many things

“that if you actually listen to and hear what's being said and you sit there and go what?”

The people that are pushing that down people's strokes are actually the perpetrators the ones that actually believe that stuff and there are the ones that have those kind of thoughts and behaviors but they point it and pin it on other people to then brainwashed them to think that these things are true when they're not there's always going to be people that only hire men or women or only hire whoever whatever their race is or that

they'll be unable to give younger people a chance or prejudice against older people those people are always going to exist but they are few and far between anymore as opposed to what it was I don't know in the 50s and 60s when that was a huge problem or anytime

human nature let me tell you something you're going to find that most business people see one color and it's green so whoever they're going to make the most money off of and they're going to use a lot of people and corporations especially it doesn't matter it's who's ever going to benefit the most you know the people that really want to get ahead and the smart people and the people that know how to run a business none of that

“stuff matters what matters is who can I trust and who is going to provide me the best”

avenue to make the most money possible and some of those people are not great people they're using people but I will tell you that their criteria is not based on a lot of the things that people say it's based upon it's whoever's going to benefit them the most and some people will really appreciate you and give you anything and everything to keep you happy and some people will use you and run you into the ground but the point is is that so many things that have been

baked into our minds and are thinking process do not exist they don't not to the extent that they're made and then what happens is every single person then is unable to take any sort

of constructive criticism and then they never know how to actually get better the most important

thing that anybody that is trying to help you can do is give you constructive criticism not

“to grade you not be mean you but tell you that you're doing this wrong and you need to improve”

it so that you can get better my college basketball coach told us he said look if I don't jump on you if I don't get on you and I'm not pushing you that means I don't care about you that means that you have no place on my team and that you're not going to go anywhere and I remember here in that and I totally resonated with me one thing I did well even through my younger years was understand that I'm probably here in stuff that pisses me off that I don't want to here but

I know it's good for me and I was always good at knowing that and I'll be older I've gotten

I feel so thankful and blessed that my dad was a certain way that my mom was a certain way that I used to get so angry about see my mom was an English teacher and my dad was a mega athlete and they were on me on everything but had they not been I wouldn't have the dedication to my craft that I do now and the thick skin that I have see I have extra thick skin so for anybody to say something about me or insult me I could literally care less it is one year out the other it makes

no difference to me I always want my peers to like me or to respect me and what I do but at the same time you know the social media thing or the comment thing I mean people that do that I do hope they know that they're just really wasting their time but I do appreciate the follow and the thought in terms of getting me engagement because it helps me to grow but their life is so short and I have such a high value on time and obviously losing time going to prison has made my time

value skyrocket to where I understand that there is nothing no gold no money no no cars no house no nothing that is more valuable than time nothing you can't ever get it back you could lose a car you can lose money you can lose a house you can eventually buy it back I've had I've lost

everything had everything lost everything that that that that that it's always able to somehow

if you're determined enough to get it back but you cannot buy your time back you can't create it back there's nothing you can do when it's gone it's gone it's gone and let me tell you something if you spend year after year after year making excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse instead of looking in the mirror and saying okay I messed this up I didn't do this right how am I going to fix it you're going to wake up and be 60 years old living in a life of regret and probably anger and

resentment because you didn't do anything to create correct the problem that you're having instead you spent so much time making excuse after excuse after excuse you only regressed you only pushed people out of your life and now what what do you have see when you make a lot of excuses and do blame games not only does it impede you from making progress but it turns a lot of people away and off it will make people say things about you when you're not around resent you not want to

be around you because let me tell you something right now there everybody should have feelings i i

“we all do and i think you should be respectful of people's feelings in terms of you know saying”

degrading things or hurtful things i i a million percent against that but this this approach and way of life that has transpired over the past decade in terms of you can't say anything to

points that i've seen it is absolutely crazy to me you cannot be that sensitive and ever make it in life it's just not the reality of the world and and i for one i can't personally handle that

when i coach somebody and i teach somebody i always tell everybody the same thing i will never

“ever ever tell you what you want to hear i will tell you what you need to hear because if i tell you”

what you want to hear that means i do not care one bit about you and i don't have that in me any longer i i i would just assume not answer as opposed to tell somebody what they want to hear and i've always been that way and a lot of my friends really loved that about me even in the party years i had a friend and you would only ask me if you look good or whatever before we went out because i'd tell them and i'd say hey man i don't want you to to go out looking bad

you know i want you to have fun and and and feel good and so you'd always ask me and i tell them sometimes yeah i'd fix that or do that you know and i i told my wife when i met her i said Queenie i said if i'm talking too much if i look like shit if there's something wrong that i'm doing you have to tell me so that i don't keep doing it or i don't go make a fool of myself or whatever think about that no i want everybody that's listening to actually think about that

wouldn't you want somebody to tell you something you were doing wrong as opposed to you continuously doing it wrong over and over and over wouldn't it make a heck of a lot more sense to know exactly what you're doing wrong so you can fix it and and not make that mistake or prolonged something or continue to do it because compounding mistakes is just going to make things harder to fix possibly turn more people away or off lose you opportunities develop bad habits

i always want to know everything that i'm doing wrong doesn't mean i'm always going to agree

but i want to hear it so i at least have some sort of an idea and can actually go check myself

“in the mirror and say hey you need to be honest about this and do you think that it's something”

wrong and if it is you better fix it you know i'll never forget the conversation i had and i i've said this on some podcasts but that i've guessed it on but i'm sure a lot of you haven't heard me say it and i'll never forget i was in prison and i was on the phone with my mom it's a conversation i'll never forget i can picture the whole thing where i was sitting what i was doing and i was on the phone with her and this was one of those moments there was

gut check moment because i was complaining about the treatment that everything in there and how miserable i was and she said you know you complain every single day and you do this what was me and what was me and she said did you ever take the time to think about the people that are scared worried about you that you let down the people that invested so much time and energy into you and look what you did held that held there worry or how that affected them and i just sat there

i i i i'm normally never out of loss for words i didn't even know to say and then she said to me

and this was the one that stung the most where me and your dad really that bad a pair and i started to have you know well welled up i started to have tears rolled out my eyes which i really didn't want to do when prison not to not the greatest thing but i snapped a back real quick and i said absolutely not i said there was nothing different you could have ever done i made these decisions this was on me a hundred percent and i'll tell you that was a

turning point for me i because i i i could hear the hurt in her voice and i didn't want it and i'm getting chills right now saying it because i i know i i can i can i can just picture

“myself sitting there and what i thought and how i felt and i'll never forget it but that's the”

time when i started to take accountability for everything that i was doing wrong and you know if you're able to do that then you can be honest with yourself and you can fix problems and you can overcome them and you know once i got married and things changed and i started to also look at myself in the mirror and say to myself you know how are you going to handle this when you're married are you going to argue and never be accountable or are you going to be

responsible for the things that you did wrong and i learned very quickly to have a successful marriage you have to be able to apologize when you're wrong you have to know when you're wrong and you got to be accountable because you know as a man you should be taking care of your family

as a man you want to take care of your family and you want them to rely on you and you want to be there and i'm not just talking about your wife i'm talking about if you have kids even parents which as they get older you know it's just it's part of it and i'm accountable for everybody and my actions are going to determine a lot of things and on how things go in our lives so i need to be accountable and everything that and everything that i do and it's it's one of those

things that it's another area where i see where dads or husbands they fail and they never take

a kind of ability for anything and they only care about themselves and selfishness and accountability they kind of go hand in hand most people that are accountable are self less not selfish and you'll find that a lot of selfish people are also not accountable for anything it's always me me me me but it's never me me me me me when there's a problem everything's always selfish and i was that way too when i was unaccountable i was so selfish and it was always Dylan this

“Dylan that Dylan first that's why with this podcast and and everything that i do in my life i”

tried to be everybody else first see i'm god first and i make that very clear and when you're god first you have to be accountable you have to be because you're living for god and that's another

thing that's really helped my accountability journey and it's a journey it's never any journey because

you're never going to be perfect at it and you have to one of the arts of accountability is no and when you weren't accountable and then catching yourself and being accountable for not being accountable and it's something that is a it's a constant effort but i'll tell you this once you start actually doing it and start having that in your heart and in your way of life you fill a heck of a lot better i i'll tell you what it's crazy to say this but i've admitted i'm wrong more and felt

a lot better about it because you you know what i don't care what anybody says we all know in our hearts when we're right or wrong we all know when we're being dishonest we all know when

“something is often it's our fault we do everybody does i think there's some people that are really”

good at blocking it out or you know coming across a certain way but very very very very very very very few people don't know the difference between right and wrong and when they're wrong or not i've fought dirty before i've argued dirty and and done this in the past and and i don't i try to never do it anymore where i'm and you you just don't fight fair and arguments or whatever and you know in your heart you're wrong and i always go back and say it and and i don't i try to

never do it with my wife anymore because i used to be when we were first together really bad with this

where i just i wouldn't fight fair i i bring up points that were true but gloss over the things that that i knew that i was causing you know and it's it's an unfair way of doing things and and i see it so much when you actually admit it feels good it gets it off your chest you never have to worry about it and you can work to fix it there's nothing better than getting things

“out that are bothering you or when you know you're wrong and fixing it because life is all about”

making mistakes and then learning from them and fixing them you're that that's just part of life now as you get older you hope to make less of them for sure but that's part of the experience of growing old but when you're accountable people respect you you do so much better people love to see people that admit when they're wrong and show how they're going to make it right you know and i think people are scared to do that i really do i know i was for a lot of years but i'll tell

you what once it clicks and you figure it out you just you just do it you just take the responsibility it feels really damn good so you know like i said i did not want this to be a rant i wanted this to be something that really provided a lot of help and guidance to people and i really really hope and pray that it did so you know i really appreciate the support never but he listening i have nothing but love and the desire to help everybody out there that's listening so anything that i

can do i'm going to continue to do it i'm going to continue to work as hard as i can to talk about the mistakes i've made and the things that i've observed and try to help people grow in their health journey but also they're just as a person in general because it all goes hand in hand my friends so that being said stay tuned for plenty more to come dill and jemeli sign it off