What’s Saving My Life

hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity it is exhausting and it's unsustainable

So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment Compassion and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems Here we are Lazy Geniuses being a genius about the things that matter and Lazy about the things that don't and I am a so glad you're here Today is episode 468 what's saving my life as regular listeners now this has been a segment for a years once a quarter I share the things that have been saving my life for this particular season and I hope it's an encouragement for all of you to make your own

“List what saving my life is a phrase popularized by the writer Barbara Brown Taylor and a lot of us on the internet use this on a regular basis”

And some of you have brought it into your lives regularly too. I remember a recent Lazy Genius of the week who said that she and a long time

Friend who's like a long distance friend now like they used to be close and now they're far away

They make an appointment to talk on the phone regularly and they share what's been saving their lives like that's part of their call. I just love how This practice it helps us stay grounded where we are pay attention to the small things that matter We can connect with people and just like find more joy. It's so great after that We're gonna have a little extra something where I share a decide once that we have used

for quite literally years When it comes to school momentos we will celebrate the Lazy Genius of the week with a great idea for travel And we'll finish with a mini pop talk for when you cannot see the finish line Because I have a long list of things that are saving my life right now. We're just gonna jump right in all right here

“Here we go first thing saving my life is peanut butter toast in the morning. I know it's revolutionary”

I am on a quest to add more protein to my day, especially to my morning, which many of us are And ever since I learned that kind of broke my heart that my college and protein powder that I put into my coffee every morning It's not a complete protein so it doesn't really count in the same way. It was like kind of devastating I've been trying to figure out things at breakfast. I still use my college and powder because it's like good for my joints And I have like joints that are decades older than I am

But it has been a bit of a struggle to find a new breakfast rhythm and a meal that kind of ticks all those protein boxes I don't love cold food in the morning. So that takes out like yogurt per phase and smoothies and stuff Like I cannot stand as smoothy in the morning. I'm an afternoon smoothie girl

“But please do not hand me a cold smoothie at 7 a.m. Absolutely not”

I also don't want to have to like cook something in a pan Take out the eggs all the things now obviously like I do both of those things on occasion I'll have yogurt sometimes. I'll have eggs sometimes but neither a long term consistent solutions for me Then I found this protein bread that I actually really love. It's the brand Sola. I get it at a Walmart. It's great toasted I snutter it and peanut butter mix with like a bunch of hemp seeds and some honey and I've been doing this almost every

Every single morning. It's really quick. It's super tasty. It is ridiculous Ridiculously filling. I don't get hungry for lunch usually until like sometimes even one Which is really helpful for my work rhythm because I get any no stays at 2.30 in the afternoon and And to stop for lunch at like noon and then go back to work for you know like an hour It just doesn't it doesn't work with my flow

So it's really nice to just stop working around one and like have a long lunch break and then go get any And so this peanut butter toast is like making that making that possible right I can I can work until one Even a little after without getting distracted by my growling stomach And then I have like my break before I have to you know mother for the rest of the afternoon before I would be hungry for lunch closer to like 11.30 and

That would sort of hijack the afternoon a little bit so anyway it has been so great my peanut butter toast on protein bread with all my hemp seeds I do have to foster some teeth more than usual, but that is worth it. Okay number two number two Strawberry season strawberry season has officially begun in North Carolina and I have gone out to our favorite

Red farm a couple of times. I'll ready to get like huge buckets of berries the first day I brought strawberries home

The children cheered like fists in the air audible cheering like we were

I have made Cobbler And he dipped some strawberries in chocolate and was not a fan, but now we know we don't like chocolate

And basically I've just been shoving strawberries into my mouth at every opportunity the kids are coming home

With clean lunch boxes that were once packed with strawberries To know they are all gone. It's like double strawberries in their lunch boxes every day We're just going to milk this season Like to the end the degree just strawberries and strawberries and strawberries and strawberries It's gonna be great. All right. Let's take a quick break before we get into the rest of the list

We're gonna hear from our sponsors which makes this show free for you to listen to you real quick before we do here just two quick reminders the first one is it is the middle of May which means the summer playbook is about to start The playbooks are our planning companion notebooks of the summer one runs from June through August So since it's the middle of May now is a great time to grab yours

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It shares the lazy genius of the week and the other segments we have on the show It also has a little extra note from me to help encourage you through the weekend So if you would like to get that recap you can head to the lazy genius collective.com/lissons The company has a shop with shoppyfine and business and it's about to be done with the checkout with the world because best can be converted to the right The checkout with the world is the best can be done with the legendary checkout from shoppyfine and just the shop on your website

It's a social media and everything is over. That's the music for your ears. Video is also based on vendors with shoppyfine. You can get to a real help garden. Start to learn how to feel in an early promonat of shoppyfine.de/recorder Or isn't something we need to travel for? It's something waiting for us in everyday life Whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art I'm Dr. Kelpner, host of the science of happiness podcast

Join me for cities of all Special series on how our public spaces can spark all wonder and enhance the quality of public life You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts All right, let's get back to what's saving my life We have already talked about peanut butter toast and strawberry season

So I might as well stick with like a couple more food things. So there was a stretch of April where I was So stressed out like oh my goodness everything was happening in our family in the lives of my friends the weather was weird

“I was just like trying to find my center and do you know what are the things I found my center in and I was Jenny's Keline pie ice cream?”

You guys This is a new flavor and if they ever take it away. I moved me so devastated Now granted Keline pie is like one of my favorite desserts of all time. I love anything Citrus but lime with cream and grum crackers stop it right now So I have eaten many Keline pies in my life. I make a great Keline pie

So I had high standards for this ice cream, you know and listen I cannot explain to you How amazing it is. It's just perfect. It's perfect. I nursed that pint of Keline pie ice cream for days I enjoyed it. I savered it and because it was during like a really busy hard season It quite literally saved my life. So thank you Jenny's ice cream For making my ice cream dreams come true. Okay next up is my earrings. I got a new couple new pairs of earrings from

“O Clementine. Have you guys gotten these ads on Instagram?”

I have gotten Instagram ads for these like chunky hoops for quite literally years and a couple of months ago I finally gave in. I threw it at my hands and I was like fine. I'll try them. Yeah, they're really

They're really quite fantastic. They're worth the hype. My my earring game it has always been fine

Like beloved actually. I have a couple of simple pairs of earrings that I really really love That are either gold or black and then I have like some super fancy Dangley earrings that are great for like a night out or a special occasion or whatever But I never had anything great in the middle like something that was a statement and had presence But wasn't fancy right or something simple but still sort of stood out. These earrings have

Bridge to that gap and now my earring game is complete. So I have the super chunky huggy hoops and two

Like mid-century modern and are kind of like green and like a little purple little orange in there like

“They're so great and then the bright checkered ones. It's mostly white with like pops of color and like a checkerboard pattern”

But that's a random it they're so cute. I absolutely love them. They have added just like the best pop of Of polish to whatever I'm wearing and I don't feel fancy or overdone. No, you know like sometimes that's hard To sort of bridge that gap or to to find that balance of looking put together without feeling like you're like overly fancy So this does sound like an add and it's not it's not I truly love them. I mean I found them through and I had but this is not an add I really love these oak limentine earrings and I'm so glad that I finally gave into the to the powers of advertising

Okay, we're just gonna stick with style since we're here. So another style thing that is saving my life right now is I found my perfect jeans. I found them. I found I found them. I found them. Nellison I have several styles of jeans that I really love like different different cuts, you know different washes all the things It's nice to have a mix of jeans at least for someone like me who wears jeans like pretty much every day

“But I finally found my gene if I could not buy another pair of jeans outside of this particular cut of gene for the rest of my life”

to the exclusion of all of the jeans. I would be perfectly happy. I found them by accident which is kind of fun So I was in Brooklyn last November while we were in New York City to see my son Sam March and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade And I went to Brooklyn and I went to Beacon's closet to shop because I'm a thrifter So of course I had to go to Beacon's closet. I found some incredible stuff there that I still love wearing but I found This pair of jeans that didn't really look like any gene that I had gotten before they were super wide lagged and I'm short

Like people always that's something that I always got when I meet people in person

They're like you're so much shorter than I expected y'all in five three and a quarter. I went to the doctor yesterday and got measured That quarter inches work in real hard, but I'm like pretty short So wide like jeans. I just felt like these because they were so wide lagged would just so wallomy

“But I loved the way they looked you know, it was like well look it never hurts to try on”

So I had them in my big pile of clothes that I was trying on when I got to the dressing room and I put on these jeans I quite literally gasped. I gasped. I have never Loved the fit of a gene on me so much in my entire life. I couldn't Deal but the legs were so wide and I was like I'm probably not gonna wear these that much But I have to get them because I love them so much. I didn't I didn't expect them to become what they became

So I bought them. I wore them every day in New York Because I wanted to wear them way more than the jeans that I packed and then I got home and I wore them so much Like almost every day that I was like well we should watch these and also I need them in black So I found some on posh mark in black Then a few months later I went looking again because the size of the two jeans that I had

It was too small for every single day of being a woman who fluctuates weight in her middle as much as I do A lot of times in my jeans. I have a couple of different sizes So I wanted to wear these jeans most days no matter how like hormonal I was and so I got a size up Again second hand in these jeans and then I even found a pair of them It's the same like cutting everything but they had like tears in the knees and they look all cool and stuff

Anyway, these are my favorite jeans. I will keep you in suspense no more. My favorite jean is the Levi 94 baggy wide leg jeans I will wear them until I die

I have never loved a pair of jeans. This much of my whole life. Now they are white leg

They are baggy. This is the style. I love this is not a style for everyone nor should anyone assume that someone's favorite style I don't will work for every person That's literally the opposite of personal style But these are my perfect jeans and I save my life every day Because when I put them on I feel great

They fit my body. They fit my style. They fit all my shirts They're just like the coolest jeans ever. I love them with my whole heart plus now that I know

This style I can always keep an eye out like on consignment sites or even when Levi has a sale

Not that I need any more like I have four pairs. I have two blue denim and two black in the two different sizes and that works Amazingly well for me, but the Levi 94 is man So good. All right the next thing the save of my life is also in the clothing category and it is

What do y'all call shoes that are like tennis shoes or athletic shoes or sneakers like what do you call them?

I feel like there are regional descriptors of these kinds of shoes. I don't know But whatever you call them. I love a good, you know, like fashion sneaker. I'm not doing anything Active in these things, you know, they're just there to look cute So I already said I wear jeans every day and I wear sneakers With my jeans most days and every single pair of sneakers I have has been bought secondhand

I have hot I have high top bands that are red. I have black bands blue bands. I love bands I have a pair of like fuzzy blue Nike's pair of black Nike's a recent find of white Bajas

“Is that who said that I think so like almost all of them are good well like all secondhand, but all”

Like most of them actually I good will for like $6. I am so in love with these shoes I love shoes like this and they save my life because like the jeans They automatically make me feel like myself when I wear them like it's so nice to have things in your closet That they're like that is me

Let's roll plus they're really comfortable like I will just never I've never been a heels girl

I will never be a heels girl actually when I went to the doctor yesterday I found I have planar fasciitis so definitely and I'm gonna be a heels girl now But I I don't I don't want to sacrifice my body for fashion under no circumstances Like if an outfit causes me pain I don't care how good it looks I will always find something more comfortable comfortable and cool or like two of my biggest

style words and that is why

“sneakers are like my favorite and I also love that they're all secondhand like it's so I don't know like how many where of these shoes been”

Where of these shoes walked before they got to me I don't know they have like little stories in them. They're so cute The Vajas are the most recent ad and when I put them in my closet and I like looked at all my shoes I just realized I was like oh my gosh These are so many sneakers and they're all singing a hand and that makes me so

Happy so it's like saving my life on on multiple levels So that is the next thing is my thrift store sneakers especially as we get into a summertime. Okay, up next we're moving away from food and fashion and into books the next one is the Louise penny books particularly the Inspector Gamash series

Actually did she write anything else? I don't even know is that all she writes maybe there's a lot of them anyway so I I read these

I actually listen to these on audio and I have listened to the first

10 already I'm in the middle of the 11th. I have grown to love them So very much these books are so comforting to me and I now understand I I did understand like Intellectually in the beginning when I started listening why people love them but now I understand like in my heart

“Why people get so connected and committed to these characters and the series?”

I I genuinely think that my reading life has been enhanced this year because of the series It just makes me feel like I it's just like a comfort a comfort listen a comfort read even though it's like murder mysteries I just love the series and it started making me think about reading other series and how like most of my

favorite reading memories are based on a series like I do love a standalone book because frankly it's it's quicker to finish one book compared to like a giant trilogy or whatever like big series there are commitment But sometimes I forget how rewarding a series is like my favorite Reading experiences are all series Harry Potter hunger games thrown a glass

Even like Nancy Drew and babysitters club when I was a kid series are so fantastic starting a new one feels daunting to me Which is why I have a few still still sitting on my shelf like untouched because I'm like uh I start reading one I have to commit to that whole big block of books right

I mean wrong but these Louise penny books they have reminded me how much I love a series how much I love locking in with a set of characters and a specific place I just started um dungeon crawler coral it's such a hard book to say dungeon crawler coral Like just a week or so ago and when I started reading it and then I realized they're like eight other books after

I should keep reading there's so many books this is what I like this what I love actually I love being in a series and now as I say that I'm remembering

“I think that what my resistance is like there have been a couple of series that didn't stick for me”

Like fourth wing is the perfect example I loved fourth wing the first book in the fourth wing series I loved it the second everybody was talking about it right the second book iron flame iron iron flame iron flame it was fine but I was like honestly kind of bored and then because of that like I

I pre-ordered on a storm the third one I never picked it up like I think I gave it to a friend or

read and she was like I just don't have any interest to read it now now it might be easy to think that reading fourth wing that first book was a waste of time because I didn't finish the series but it wasn't a waste of time because I loved fourth wing it gave me such a rush man where even waiting for iron flame to arrive on publication day was exciting I didn't love it as much and I didn't really care about it in the way that I anticipated I would but that's okay

it just means that the series itself isn't for me even though the first book was so much fun so I'm saying this to any of you who like struggle with this too and definitely saying it to myself

you'll never know if you love a series until you start a series you're just not gonna know

but starting a series is always a risk you know I mean it's something big that you might not want to finish so I'm just here to say that if that happens reading the beginning of a series wasn't a waste and then sometimes maybe a lot of times there's like tremendous reward because you get a series that you totally love which is how I feel about what we spend in Inspector Gamash right now okay

“the next thing that is saving my life is my pedometer that's like a step counter I that's what it's called”

right it's a pedometer yet is too many how too manyometers I don't know anyway I got a step counter I bought this little like $12 pedometer it's bright yellow so I can spot it like anywhere which is nice

but it's also like really slim if it's in my pocket and I've been paying attention to my steps now

here's here's why because I'm usually not a tracker of things I realize recently that I said a lot my job necessitates that because I'm usually either writing on my computer or I'm recording in a chair and while I do like to walk around the block sometimes and you know it's not that I'm sitting all the time I did wonder I was like how many steps do I actually take like I don't know I don't I don't have a smart watch I don't really like wearing one I also didn't want

“something like a smart watch or an aura ring or something like that that would give me more than my”

steps like I just wanted to know my steps I that's all I wanted I didn't want all these other things so I got this cute basic little pedometer just to see just to see how many steps I usually take I wasn't trying to hit 10,000 steps or push my steps at all or you know hit a step count it really was just a measurement just to know it was just data collection so in days when I don't do much except to work at home and like drag the kids to on from school and just like do things around the

house just like normal pedaling stuff I take like two to three thousand steps now we we've all heard we're supposed to take 10,000 steps a day I was like well that's not very many steps what I took but also what was weird is those days were full like it wasn't like I was laying around all day I was working and mothering and showfaring and all the things it just happened to be like sitting things so it's just a lot of sitting things so I'm going to say this right now in case anyone

needs permission like I did I I am not going to tell you to not worry about taking 10,000 steps a day like I'm not a doctor nor am I a prescriptive advice giver the years what I do want to say getting 10,000 steps a day is really hard if you don't already have a job where you're on your feet a lot like a nurse or a floor manager or you don't already have a regular rhythm of like walking or running a few miles a day which some of you do and that gets your steps in it that if

neither of those things are true 10,000 steps is tough like even on days when I feel like I've been doing like so many moving things even if I like tuck in a half hour walk and they are I still might only hit 7 or 8,000 steps 10,000 steps only comes when I live a regular day plus take like a 90 minute walk or when I'm doing something unusually active on a regular day

and I'm on my feet running around getting things set up for like maybe three hours like I don't ever stop and when that's over I've usually gotten in about 5,000 steps and that's three hours

of never stopping and it's only half the steps so I'm just here to say that 10,000 steps is

really hard to fit in for a lot of people I'm not telling you to not try or to try harder because

“neither of those things is my job but I do think it's important to contextualize 10,000 steps”

it's no joke and it's not an easy thing to add to the average person's average day but here's what I have enjoyed about my pedometer it gives me some data on like how many steps certain things take you know I know how long I'm going to be on my feet and how many steps I take when I do this food distribution thing and you know it just like helps me what it does is it helps me weigh out how many days a week I want to try to maybe hit 10,000 I don't try to hit that number every day

like not even close my weekly rhythm here's what I'm hoping for I'm hoping for two

10,000 step days a week just to kindly accepting that there's going to be one or two three two to three thousand step days a week and having like the average the rest of the days being somewhere in the like five to seven step count range so knowing my steps what it's done is it's given me permission to tend to my body in a way that feels reasonable for me as a suburban mom of three kids who drives a van everywhere I really love my little pedometer and and what it's been

doing for me the the freedom and permission it's been giving for me okay the next thing the

“save of my life is the new green dresser and the living room on my reading look so I've mentioned”

this dresser a couple of times on the podcast I've even shared a photo of it in a latest lazy license email but it y'all it really is saving my life like oh my gosh well first I just love how it looks rarely does a day go by when I don't look at that corner of the room and just smile like it makes me so happy to even have that dresser and like the art on it and all the different things around it like that corner of my home is like my favorite little corner the second thing

it's just been so practical two drawers it's a four door it's like a tall dresser and they're four drawers two of them currently are completely empty which is great because I have storage available so I praise for that at the time comes but the few toys and like random plate things that we still have in a house with big kids all those things go in the bottom drawer of the screen dresser so they're

“contained and they're invisible both of those things are true I think that when we are putting”

things in their place the cleanest thing feels contained and invisible all those little toys used to live in a basket which contained all the toys which was great that since the basket didn't have a lid it did not make the toys completely invisible now you don't have to just give in you the facts now the toys are in a drawer and because of that the room feels more polished and cozy because you can't see like that the edges of the hot pink stacking cups or like the edge of the

light up Simon game like you can't see any edges of toys ever because they're completely invisible they're contained and invisible then the other drawer of the four that has stuff in it it's done a similar thing it keeps regularly used items in a great place but invisible so in the drawer right by my reading chair like where I just it's like shoulder height when I'm sitting down so I just it's right there as pull it out in there I keep my Bible my prayer journal whatever like non-fiction

book I'm reading pens extra matches for my candles like everything I need for the morning and my like my reading time in the morning it's right there in its place it's easy to get to but it's completely invisible and I'm not using it I have just absolutely love this green dresser

I will never get over how much it has made the look of my living room and how I experience that room

like wildly better than I ever anticipated best piece of furniture I've ever gotten okay two more things the next one is writing my prayers so this will be just a quick faith-related item but I mentioned that I keep a prayer journal and my green dresser so I've never had a like a regular rhythm of praying prayers always been a harder part of my spiritual life at least the kind of prayer

when someone comes to mind but spending time every day in prayer has not been a regular part of my life and I realized that the reason that has been historically true is because I get lost in my own

head I am a verbal processor and praying has always been depicted to me as like an internal

silent thing at least when you're praying by yourself so I would start praying but I would like get lost in my own words I get distracted by my own thoughts I just like couldn't I I had no

“record of like what I prayed for or like could remember what I saw God do you know it's like hard”

to remember the faithfulness of God and big and small ways when I was just praying in my own head not some people can do that and I'm very jealous of you but I always figured that my prayer life would just be these like momentary pleas and praises and then anything that is more like organized like that kind of prayer would happen only out loud in a group of other people like I just wouldn't have the kind of prayer life that I saw other people having I just sort of accepted that

all the time ago then a few months ago friend of mine was she mentioned how she writes her prayers now this is not a this is clearly not a new idea but it was really presented in the right way the right time for me by some of that I like know and trust and know how she sort of thinks and works

“and she said what I felt that she would get lost in her thoughts and she would meander off”

when she would pray her own head like she wasn't always praying for specific people or things

that she wanted to so she started writing her prayers she just has a notebook and writes out her prayers as she's praying and it helps her find her words and stay focused and it also is a like a record of of God's faithfulness and presence and I really loved that idea it felt like something that might work for me so I went home I grabbed one of the many empty notebooks that line it collected on my shelf from 15 years of buying notebooks and I started writing my prayers and I've been doing

that most days for the last few months and it has been like surprisingly transformative just a really beautiful practice for me I am keeping myself on track it's it's almost like having a rope to hold on to by writing the words and it's just been so life-giving it's enriched my relationship with the Lord I can like pause as words come I can I can I can praise I can make requests I can thank God for being gracious and kind and small things that I've asked for and it's like I

don't lose my spot I don't lose my train of thought now there's nothing wrong with losing your spot or your train of thought but that takes me out of the practice of praying in a way that I didn't enjoy right so writing my prayers has just been really beautiful for me and it's saved my life

“in a in a big way okay the last thing the save my life is the television show 24 and 24 you guys are”

you watching are you watching this show so food competition shows our our favorite genre of television in the adoption house there is very little that we all like truly but we all like either reasonably or very deeply like anything having to do with food and a winner so like great British baking show tournament of champions top chef is it cake wild card kitchen like all of those I'll even happily watch an episode of chopped or guys grocery games if I'm stuck on the couch and I can't find

the remote we really love food competition shows and since cause and I have been watching these

shows forever like since the first season of top chef like however many years ago 20 something

years ago and since the kids have seen a number of these shows over the last few years like we know who the big guns are you know like all five of dotchies know that jet teela wants to win tournament of champions so bad all five of us know that rival Tashio has been runner up in so many competitions that we want him to win his own so bad all five of us have watched the rise of Kevin Lee in Jonathan Sawyer cause and I recognize people from like old seasons of top chef and like we know

who Hubert Keller is my kids know Antonia and Lian Wang and Gail Simmons and Marcel by name like the adachies just really love food competitions anyway all of that is what makes 24 and 24 not just a great show but a great show for our family to watch so the setup is it's 24 chefs who have to

bananas in some way but having watched so many over the years 24 and 24 is absolutely the most

“bananas they just have to cook and the cook again and then again and again like it's crazy and they”

have to not just cook that to keep getting judged and come up with like new dishes with different challenges and do different kinds of gameplay like I have a hard time figuring out what's for dinner four hours from now let alone come up with 24 hours worth of competition level dish is when I haven't slept it's just wild the tasks are so fun we have chefs to root for because we're so familiar with the food competition landscape so we recognize so many people and the production is

excellent we started season one just a few weeks ago like on a whim and then benched it mostly

is a family with the boys like bowing out here and there and then we immediately did the same

season two and now we're weak to weak with the newly released season three and we're just like all the way into it any maybe the most like that's our favorite thing to do with the end of the day she's like mom can we watch 24 and 24 so for a family that doesn't have much in common in regards to television and you know my kids don't like movies because it's too much quote escalating conflict a new food show that is so fun that scratches the edge of like sing

old faces from you know 15 years of watching food shows it is something we look forward to and that to me is like the very definition of what a saving my life okay so that is today's

“very very odd list per usual peanut butter toast strawberry season genny's key line by ice cream”

o Clementine earrings Levi 94's thrift store sneakers Louise penny books and series in general my pedometer my green dresser writing my prayers and the show 24 24 and that is what saving my life all right for today's a little extra something i'm gonna share a decide once that we have been using for like all the years my kids have been in school it's pretty simple we say no to school pictures and yes to your books that's it no matter how old the kid is no matter how much or how

little the pictures are your books cost we don't buy school pictures and we do buy school your books and it's just been so helpful just like no that's the plan the school pictures are are easy to skip i suppose you know especially now like we all have the ability to take photos of our kids and our whole lives with our phones that we couldn't before like you know when most of us listening or kids but my kids also so we're but my kids go to a dentist that takes a great photo

of each kid before their appointment sitting like in front of this big picture window that's like full of trees it's like kind of magical how good these photos are and I get them every six months for all three years it's like free school photos but better but even before we started going to

this dentist we still never got school pictures it was just a clear decide once early on because i

knew then if i didn't decide i would hem and haul every single year i would regret years that i didn't get them or i or regret that i would only get them in some years it was just like i knew it would be a whole thing in my head so i just decided once no school photos super easy decision but we do always say yes to your books even for elementary school especially for elementary school actually my kids like no joke they are always grabbing like an old yearbook to try and remember

if a kid that they know now was in their class you know five years ago it's so funny to watch the growth of my kids from picture to picture but also their friends over the years it's it really is kind of wild how often we refer back to your books so much so that they're stored in the living room

“in a basket like by the side table next to the couch like that's how often a kid pulls out of your”

book so no to school pictures yes to your books just an easy decide once that's been lovely for our family and that is today's a little extra something for this week's lazy genius of the week we have an audio clip from Ellen in iron station North Carolina take a listen hi Kendra this is Ellen in iron station North Carolina as i listen to your episode about planning trips it struck me that i should share what my sister and i have started doing it began last

December when she had a reservation and invited me to join her at the beach for a few days of relaxation while we were there we realized that it was just a spectacular time for three of our very favorite things books, naps and snacks hence the BNS society was born we decided

hang out together and enjoy each other's company as we enjoy our books, naps and snacks

“no need to travel very far or to look for an area with a lot of tourist activities no we just”

find as a comfortable place to stay and enjoy our laid-back sister time so far we've had two BNS trips one to the beach and one to the mountains we live in between those two areas and our next trip is already scheduled for August i can't wait hashtag decide once hashtag start small hashtag schedule rest hashtag be kind to yourself thanks Kendra now my gosh i love that Ellen I also loved the birds and like chimes in Ellen's background so lovely that is such a great idea

it reminds me of a recent podcast episode on planning a trip which is you know obviously it's what sparked Ellen to send us in but when you know why you are going somewhere it makes all the other decisions so much easier like if you're going for books and naps and snacks you want somewhere beautiful with cozy beds maybe even like a couch outside for an outside nap or like one of those big porch swings or hammocks or something but like you said you don't need tourist

things because that's not the point that's not the point of the trip this is so fun i love that you named it to Ellen naming things adds its own kind of magic so thank you for sharing this idea with us and congratulations Ellen on being the lazy genus of the week and now let's close with a many pep talk for when you can't see the finish line i have been experiencing some of this with some folks in my life watching them walk like really hard roads where they can't see the end i'm sure

you've experienced that too if you know the end is calming or at least know like how long something hard might last it makes where you are easier to bear but if you can't see the end it is so discouraging so if that's you whether it's like a life stage loss a diagnosis just a big change that has you reeling or even some kind of trauma or grief response that keeps sneaking up on you and you thought you were done with that already my tiny advice in this tiny moment

“is to be kind to yourself until let people in those are two lazy genus principles and I think”

they are crucial when you're experiencing something that feels like there's just no end even if

it's just like a school year or the crazy month of may and you're like i will never get to the end of this be kind to yourself say soft about your situation look for the good that's here right now and be kind and then let people in commiserate with other parents who were feeling the same way about may tell a friend that you're struggling and hurting asking for help even if you don't really know what that is like let people end to how you're feeling even if you feel like all you do is talk about

what is hard and if you're not personally in a season where this is true where you can't see the finish line but you're in relationship with someone who is in that place do what my friend

Emily P. Freeman does this came up at a book event i did with our mutual friend an amazing author

Shannon Martin so Shannon wrote a fantastic book called counterweight about living in a heavy world and she shared about a season in her life that that felt like it didn't have an end and how Emily came to her and said tell me everything you can be that person to someone else just enter into their hard season and say tell me everything let them tell you whatever they want so they can feel less alone and what probably feels endless to them and maybe even annoying to talk about yet again

that's the thing about seasons without a scene and it's hard the whole time but we feel like it's a pain we're still talking about you know and that maybe we're even a pain you're not you're

“a pain and if someone makes you feel like that and says you should be over it by now that is not a”

supportive person and that requires a different kind of conversation you deserve to have people walk with you on the longest road even if you don't know when the end comes so let people end to walk with you no matter the road and be kind to yourself no matter how long you're there and that is a mini pep talk for when you can't see the finish line if this episode was helpful to you or if you've been looking for a way to support the show please share this episode with someone that you

know or you can leave a kind review on Apple podcasts every mention and share it makes a difference

part of the Odyssey family in the office ladies network this episode is hosted by me Kendra Adachi

“and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Fisher and Angela Kinsey special thanks to”

Leah Jarvis for weekly production if you'd like a podcast recap every other week be sure to

sign up for the latest lazy listens email that goes out every other Friday you can head to the

“lazyginesscollective.com/listen to get it thank you guys so much for listening and until next time”

be a genius about the things it matter and lazy about the things that don't I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week on my new podcast on par with MariPovic we're getting down to the truth behind the

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