The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Perez Hilton’s Unraveling, Ariana Grande's Alarming Appearance, & Andy Cohen’s Dating App Drama

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Maureen Callahan breaks down the latest celebrity reports, starting with the disturbing details of Perez Hilton’s TikTok livestream, growing health concerns surrounding Ariana Grande’s appearance, and...

Transcript

EN

I love to show the texture and this wave pattern again.

It looks like you went and got a blowjob at your blowout, at your salon.

Welcome to the nerve.

Hello and welcome to your Tuesday edition of the nerve.

I am your host, Maureen Callan, we are back with a brand new packed and stacked show for you today. Aside note, I went to the doctor again on Friday and have been diagnosed with a case of acute bronchitis. I'm on heavy medication. I am coming to you in my convalescence, in elevated convalence, convalescence, if you will. I'm like Megan Markle, I just want to elevate everything.

So anyway, that's where we're at. And thank you guys all for your well wishes and your encouragement to take it easy. I'm going to talk to you a little bit about how I was doing that over the weekend and how it's going to inspire a future segment. We'll begin today, though, we missed last week because we did take Friday. I was bummed really because I really wanted to talk to you guys about two of the biggest stories that broke last week, the Perez Hilton story, and the Ariana Grande story.

But, you know, we're going to discuss them tonight and then we're going to also go into different detail and nuance with Rob tomorrow on the nerve at night and then we've got really funny stuff. Okay, number one, Andrew Cohen, who still has us blocks, and I think it's just got to be spite at this point.

But I think again, it's like, it's like that, is it a Chinese proverb?

Like, if you seek revenge, like first dig to graves, because in trying to seek some sort of revenge against the nerve, and you just dug yourself another grave, like now we're really way more invested.

Like, it's almost like we've got like a back and forth happening, right? We've got an update same with sunny Austin, same same with sunny Austin, and then we're going to talk about. During the many of this weekend, someone showed up in the live chat, who was otherwise a stranger to the entire travel maker community. And the trouble maker community, very quickly, of course, because, you know, we're all students of Teddy Van Halen. We're all students of that guy's investigative work, figured out exactly what was going on, who this person likely was.

And when I tell you, I have screen grabs, screen grabs for days. The defense this person was putting it, we're not saying it was Oprah. Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go! Your liver does more than you know when it comes to regulating energy hormones digestion, and even your mood, but stress, toxins, and processed foods are constantly overloading it.

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To two of the biggest stories of the past week, I think they will be two of the biggest stories of the year. The first being Perez Hilton, the gossip columnist who has been struggling mightily.

On Tuesday evening, August 4th, Perez Hilton went live on TikTok from his home in Miami, and the reporting that has emerged since then has confirmed that this was, and I'm warning you, this is all very graphic stuff.

This was a legitimate suicide attempt.

What looked like a quadrant of photos, one on the top left looked to be him covered in blood, and he had a knife and he was slashing himself.

And it livestreamed for, I think, a good 10 or 20 minutes, and that's part of this conversation, to be sure. Police arrived at his home in Miami following a 911 dispatch call at 1041 PM Eastern. They entered the residence around 11 PM Eastern, and the police were alerted after viewers on TikTok called 911 or called his local police department.

It says so much about our world right now. Now, how this was allowed to stream on TikTok for as long as it did is an entirely other question.

Deadlines report the headline. Press Hilton's TikTok live stream was capped up due to quote moderator error, moderator error spokesperson says published August 5 by our Mando Tnoko, according to the report, despite the content, the content, again, this is where like every word matters. This report should not read, despite the content. This report should read, despite a live suicide attempt streaming and going against the platforms community guidelines, how about basic human fucking decency community guidelines continuing from the deadline report.

The stream was not immediately removed and persisted, persisted is the wrong word, persisted puts the blame on the content creator who is clearly and extremely disturbed individual.

persisted, no, TikTok didn't get their shit together and/or or the darker theory is they were like holy shit, look at the eyeballs we're caching for about 15 to 20 minutes.

And this is an extremely long time before it was ultimately caught and the account was permanently banned subsequent videos of the live stream were also removed.

That all sounds very corporate and efficient I suppose as much as it can but if you think that stuff is still floating around out there, if you don't think his kids are going to be able to find that one day if they want to.

If TikTok has a lot to fucking answer for here a lot, TikTok is the platform that is famous for content that goes in seconds, seconds, okay, I was driving with my goddaughter like last week was like we were doing a fairly long drive and she was seated in the passenger seat.

TikTok and if she had a piece of content in front of her that I could hear that went on for longer than 10 seconds that was long.

So explain to me how a platform that's in the business of brevity allowed a live graphic suicide attempt in which the person slashing himself is saying I'm I'm I'm doing this for my children. And then turns and sees the cops pulling up and says on cam shoot me mother fuckers 20 fucking minutes. His children were home at the time. We now know that the children his three children people magazine Perez Hilton's children quote led his home moments before his quote severe mental health crisis and quote family says people do better.

We are all adults here this isn't a severe mental health crisis this was a suicide attempt so call it what it is. This doesn't help the discourse it doesn't help our continuing debates about social media. According to people, Perez's children niece and sister were inside the home when it became clear that he was harming himself they immediately fled.

The sister was there a niece was there I guess the sister took the kids out.

Now I have seen a lot of debate and a lot of it this is very black and white.

About whether Perez Hilton who attempted to kill himself in a graphic way number one this goes to the cynicism of our age and it goes to somewhat untrustworthiness of the person who who who we're talking about you know Perez Hilton has been a problematic force in the culture for a long time. There were initial thoughts going around online that maybe it was just a publicity stunt and that there was so much blood that maybe it was like tomato paste. Because he would do this and he loves publicity and attention and he doesn't get that much of it anymore and we now know that it was an actual suicide attempt that he lost an alarming amount of blood that he's going to require surgery that he is going to be hospitalized for a very long time.

A lot of people I see this online and again I think this is a coarsening of the discourse that only comes with the anonymity provided by a screen and a screen name.

Because I've seen many people say fuck that guy he deserved to die and I think.

It's enough to really kind of make you weep for humanity we're not talking about eight off Hitler here. We're talking about a guy who had a gossip blog and said means shit about celebrities. Yeah he did. Do you wish that on him? You know how hard it is to stab yourself those kinds of suicide attempts they're very rare. I only know if to like that among public figures one L8 Smith stabbed himself to death the singer songwriter L8 Smith. I believe he stabbed himself to death in the stomach. It's very difficult to do your brain.

Your body it does not that like you have to be in the darkest of places darkest it's you don't want to hurt yourself in that way.

It's agony the second public figure I know who attempted something similar stabbing himself in the stomach to death already laying the former sidekick on the Howard Stern Show.

And when the method of his attempt was made public people couldn't believe it because it's so incredible to think that somebody would do that.

This brings us to a tweet that I saw on Saturday or Sunday was it's I forget but I screenshot it it was Sunday. Jared Patelekke the actor who is best known for his role in the TV series supernatural and prior to that in Gilmore girls as Dean Roy's first boyfriend posted about Perez Hilton on X over the weekend. This is the initial post this tells us so much so much about where we're at right now as a culture. Hey, apuras Hilton just wanted to reach out and let you know that you're in my thoughts.

I but I believe by the way that Jared Patelekke has been open about his own struggles with mental health. I could be wrong, but I do I recall reading that.

Howard continues this being human is a strange thing exhilarating exhausting fast low wonderful and it times awful. I hope you are trying as best as you can to be kind to yourself right now please surround yourself with the love and support that all humans deserve this to shop pass you got this. Well, a good chunk of the internet took issue with Jared's note of compassion and well wishes and they all took to his comment section said hey Jared. You know, Perez is a piece of shit and he's been really mean to a lot of celebrities and has done and said a lot of really bad stuff and you know I'll true that's true.

And so he completely he doesn't deserve this and you're an asshole you're just as bad as Perez for hoping that he gets better. So Jared a few hours after that post went up deleted it and then 30 minutes later he followed it with this post we're going to show you the full screen of this post.

Jared wrote to give more detail our email post wishing someone well now we're...

I had in all caps absolutely no idea about his past which I find very difficult to believe if you are an actor if you're working actor let alone a pretty famous working actor in Hollywood you know who Perez is you have a publicist you have a manager you have an agent you do interviews you talk show appearances you do acts you know who the guy is okay.

Jared said. I had heard of him obviously I had heard that he hadn't quote exactly been kind and quote to me in the past so my thought is always to give grace and forgiveness to those who have who may have tried to harm you.

In my experience it usually works out better than holding a grudge or wishing punishment on someone else again I agree with that too.

Now Jared here is where he caves to the online faceless mob demanding that they that he come around to their way of thinking and prostrate himself in front of them these faceless.

Bullies Jared writes that having been said I truly didn't know anything about the extent to what he has done that's my bad on my life again like this is so extreme that I don't believe it on your life.

I have never in my life not once looked him up or gone to one of his sites I don't believe you Jared sorry I simply thought he was a tabloid type of sensationalist journalist I do not stand for or support any of the actions I just now found out that he is committed full stop I'm sorry if my words caused any harm and I hope you are all well out there taking care of yourselves prayer hands heart emoji.

I found that really upsetting I really did.

I found it upsetting that someone who's default impulse was to post a public note of compassion and condolence and support got completely turned around by a bunch of faceless people who were like fuck you. That like we all know what the guy tried to do to himself he is kids for Christ's sake excuse me for taking the Lord's name in vain but you know what I'm saying. And then so Jared just nobody has a spine anymore nobody has the courage of their convictions you know Jared if you would just let it ride you know somebody's going to come along in five more seconds and do something else to get the online mob's attention and they're all going to take their bullshit hive mind and go over there.

And it never is enough okay you retract you apologize to the hive internet mind it's never enough now they know they've got you by the fucking balls and they're going to fucking twist and squeeze and make you pay you're going to humiliate you further Jared comments under Jared's post I'm going to read a sampling there is no way you didn't know about his past you can't be in this industry as long as you have been and not known.

That you keep posting about this so your fans will continue to tell you when a great guy you are is kind of pathetic that's what this gets you Jared that's what this gets anybody who cows to this bullshit you know.

Not for nothing and this is up for a nerve award twenty twenty six a few months ago I don't know if you recall but we did a segment that we now call the letter and it was a letter written to the family of the late in excess front man Michael Hutchins by a man who had gone to elementary school with Michael and he said to the family as a child.

I was bullied mercilessly I was just the target of a group just constant exclusion and mockery and I would come home every night and cry myself to sleep and do you know who befriended me Michael.

Do you know who stood up for me Michael in a world of like online fucking bullying and people telling people thinking they have the fucking right to tell any of us what to think and how to feel be a Michael. Further comments under Jared's post are you attracting being a kind hearted human because that's kind of fucked up. Another one so you were concerned for your fellow man until you caught shit and now this guy can go get fucked. I'm not going to praise you for showing compassion and then deleting that post and posting this.

Just like that we find out Jared cares more about his online reputation with ...

We will be talking more about this and the ways in which Perez called it. Perez Hilton excuse me change the culture he and arguably did you don't have to like him you can hate everything he ever wrote everything he ever said he did change the culture that makes this an incredibly important story.

And where we are now versus where we were then and how we burst a Perez Hilton press Hilton didn't become famous on his own we all made him famous.

So everybody who's out there saying like oh he deserved it he was a horrible person I think they're talking about themselves because if you were a consumer of his stuff you are part of the problem.

And if you can't extend sympathy to somebody who thought their only answer was to try to commit a slow tortures form a suicide online.

I don't know I have no words I have no words now on to Ariana Grande this is another story that I have really wanted to discuss with you guys and I think discuss it in a very you know in a nervous way.

But which I mean like we are also compassionate and we're going to talk about the machine that has been keeping this woman working.

And I come to this story I've spoken about this a little bit a while back on Megan Kelly's show with her but you know when I was in college so my late teens very early 20s I definitely had an eating disorder and I was in a fair amount of denial about it and you really couldn't talk to me. And convince me to do anything except to continue to get thinner and thinner even when you could see my rib cage through whatever sweater I was wearing and like my stomach was concave and a very very good friend of mine.

Probably about nine months in ten months in like basically took me to lunch and said we're going to sit here until you eat this meal you are far too thin and you got to get control of this and I started to cry except I was so dehydrated I really didn't have tears and I said you don't understand like my stomach is strong to the point where like.

It doesn't take much food and like I will get sick and she said that's okay eat what you can and that moment.

It was everything for me because I realized that if I did not get a hold of myself I was going to have to get serious help and I didn't want to stop my life to go get help for something that was taking control of me I want to control of myself back.

So when I see figures and there is almost disproportionately women or young girls in the culture who I think are clearly struggling with what looks like a visible eating disorder.

I only ever come at it with compassion and I also think that the decades that we have been living with messaging to girls and women and those epic and glp ones have only intensified this where to be stick thin is is the most desirable. Commercial way to appear is very sick. It's very sick and it's continuing to poison generations of girls and young women and older women. Anorexia, bulimia. If they fucking knew any more about it than they knew 40, 50 years ago it would be solved. I think it is a very case by case individualized disorder that eventually takes control of you and I think it's incredibly treatment resistant it's really fucking hard.

Ariana Grande's people have announced and this comes from a people exclusive ...

They're not going to anchor off the torn others too much money to be made there's insurance people have to get paid. They're not going to lose money over at Grande ain't no no no no she's going to finish this door. It's only going to slept number first don't you know and then she can step away and get better then she can step away. If the machine around her gave a shit about her she would be off the tour now. A source to Grande tells people of the singer quote she performs a very physical show and there is a lot of athleticism involved she performs healthily and successfully at a very high level night after night.

You know we're going to talk about this as well with Rob but I draw a comparison to Harry Styles they're about the same age Harry Styles is a marathoner and he is struggling on stage.

You're going to tell me they're not giving this woman drugs because I know what it's like to be that skinny. It's innovating you have no energy you're cold all the time your body is in starvation mode. We're going to look at Ariana's music video which was released on July 31 which is the inciting event for her team announcing that she's going to be taking step back that everybody around her is very aware that she's overworked and all of the fucking flowery polite language that is meant to distort what is actually going on here everything that you and I see with our own eyes.

It's not that bad. This music video by the way, when I took a look at this I was like this is really fucked up. This is really fucked up. It's not just how she appears in such a scale it'll scale it'll form but it's the story that she's telling in this video which is about a young woman trying to get famous.

She's a young like fawn in the woods like this wholesome looking girl again Ariana Grande has been famous since she was a child. She came out of the Disney machine and that's a dark fucking place.

We know this we know this. Just my opinion, but she's telling a story of what it takes to get famous and we're going to watch the beginning and we'll talk about that and then we'll get to the meat of this piece which is I mean I think she's I kind of feel like she's telling us how dark it is sometimes to be Ariana Grande here we go.

Title card metal in viewer warning the following video contained explicit content in the fixed graphic violence which may be offensive to some viewers.

That's meant to titulate not warn a Daisy growing out of a crack on the Hollywood walk of fame on a cracked star close up in a yellow taxi cab. She's dressed like a 19. 55 holding a wanted ad for stars at fame ink. Hello.

An old woman smoking at the reception doctor.

I'm pepper. I'm here for the audition today. You and everyone else, honey. Take an application pick a number and get online. Thank you. Okay.

In the next clip that we're going to see. They're playing a little bit with the Madonna horror dichotomy and I think what she's referencing here is Olivia Newton John and Greece.

Throughout most of Greece, Olivia Newton John is like this wholesome girl wearing her hair in a ponytail and like puddle skirts and sweater sets and you know.

And she really really really wants to get with Danny who is played by John Travolta and then so she realizes what she needs to do is become horror.

She needs to dress up as like a sex kitten in like a black leather body suit ...

It's like shoulderless, you know, it's strapless, strapless and you know, do her com Heather dance and here's Ariana in a very similar look to that.

I mean, all that's missing is a stripper pole here in front of a bank of like old creepy men who are smoking and they're going to determine whether she gets to be famous or not. Let's take a look.

And here we see the bones see the rib cage and this is also meant to be like sexually appealing to those old men, you know, this whole messaging is so fucked up.

And I I look at her and I see myself at like 19 and I don't know that she sees how bad this is like you can get to a point in it where like you think people are overreacting, you know, like.

I can't believe that her record company let this out like I can't believe her management let it out like I can't believe it, but here we are here we are and this is the dark side of the shit like they, you know what they care about Ariana Grande Grande is still making them money still making them money and we're going to talk about her predecessor and what happened and how it shocked the culture to the core you would think it would never be allowed to happen again. You're making people money nobody gives a shit.

I think that this woman has to be in one of the loneliest places there there could be on earth because she is loved by millions of people who are faceless to her and the people who really know her.

Are doing jack fucking shit apparently. She's in crisis it couldn't be clearer. Bill Mar made fun of her.

On his show on Friday night August 7th made a joke about her appearance it didn't go over well let's take a look. The administration this week just a few days ago maybe yesterday they unleashed a new trove of UFO files interesting things in there triangular craft weird lights over an army base a stick like figure with large eyes.

That was just an hour and a grand day video.

Now, you know, we cut it off before the audience laughter and I'm going to chalk that up to Bill's audience being paid trouble makers have written into us and said moring do you know that Bill uses this service I forget the name of the company. But like you like hire audience and they come in and they get paid like 50 bucks to sit there and like scream and laugh and clap. I've been a real audience of like voluntary members. It might not have gotten that same response though he did catch a shit ton of backlash in the media.

I also want to draw attention to just a piece that I saw in the Wall Street Journal over the weekend that I recommend. It was called Ariana Grande and the shadow of my own thinness it was written by Ruthie Friedlander and she also she's writing here about her she says she was eight years old when she first began obsessing about her weight and it took her I think until 28 to get real help for it but it's it's a good piece it's nuanced it sort of talks about you know. There's this sort of edict in the culture now that like we're not allowed to talk about anybody's bodies and I am sorry when the makers of GLP ones are.

Whistling past the graveyard at their users who develop vision blindness or are dying on these drugs dying and we're going to do a larger segment on this. But yeah we should be talking about it we should be talking about it. People will look back at this time and they won't believe what was what was being promoted as as an idealized way to look. Now in looking at all this Ariana Grande coverage and in absorbing like her teams attempt to spin this that like she's actually really healthy but she's also been having a hard time she's fine finishing the tour but then we're going to yanker and we're canceling everything else on her schedule all I could think about was Karen Carpenter.

If you don't know who Karen Carpenter was she was one of the biggest most inf...

Here is how relevant she remains. I will you know I will always find any excuse to show a clip from Tommy boy.

But this scene is iconic this is Chris Farley and David Spade on the road and they're doing that thing people do in cars. Especially if you're driving with someone who you don't know that well and you're flipping through the radio back when you would flip through the radio and a song would come on and it would be like is a cool is a cool to like this song like if it's not cool like or maybe I do like the song but it's not cool to like the song so I'm going to say let's change it and then they hit on a song and they both are like I mean I can live with it if you can I mean it's up to you you want to leave it on leave it on here we go.

So that was them singing along to the carpenters and they're moved to tears you know so Karen Carpenter Anne or Xia killed her.

The I think the stated cause of death from her autopsy was heart failure but it was heart failure due to anorexia nervosa.

On February 4th 1983 she was 32 years old.

People magazine cover story about her death which did truly shock the nation there had been nobody in public life before.

Not only seemed seemed like people were nobody was kind of like here's what's here's what's reflecting Karen Carpenter like this wasn't discussed you know eating disorders it just wasn't discussed and when she dropped dead she dropped dead in her former room and her parents home from other found her in the bedroom closet. Let's look at the people magazine cover even back then they soft pedaled it is a photo of her smiling death comes at 32 to the beloved singer after a valiant battle against anorexia nervosa.

I don't think I would have chosen that image that image is too happy she's wearing yellow she's performing you can tell she's way too thin but there's a glow there's a light from within that I would not I'll show you other images will look at other images. Here's Carnie Wilson daughter of peach boy Brian Wilson who is also a member of the pop group Wilson Phillips talking about her own eating disorder and the impact that Karen's death had on her. And the culture at large this is from the twenty twenty three documentary called Karen Carpenter starving for perfection directed by Randy Martin.

I remember you know having my own struggles with with I was becoming bulimic really I was putting my finger down my throat I didn't know what else to do I had to lose weight.

And I had started into that behavior and my doctor took one look when I was at an exam one year and he said stop it. I know what you're doing and you got to stop I was in the eighth grade and I remember Karen died right right around then I was terrified because I didn't know that it could kill you. I didn't know that there was I was just finding out about it and oh it's just so awful. I was in denial for a while a long time I was in denial. I know no this couldn't good be and sad but I was also terrified for myself too.

So it was a big reality it's a big reality check look somebody somebody like this wonderful goddess of love with this voice just died. It's really impossible to overstate what a talented vocalist Karen Carpenter was.

I think that same documentary Carny talks about her father who was a musical genius a one of a kind.

Talking to her about how gifted Karen was like born with a gift. Here's Karen Carpenter in a photo dated 1977. She's reportedly 83 pounds here.

She's being like nothing to see here.

This is from a televised interview with Karen in 1981.

She's skeletal. I mean this with all respect her appearance here is evocative of survivors of jackout of concentration camp victims.

The best coverage I could find came from a publication called L Pice which I think is like the Spanish version of people magazine.

It stated November 7th, 2023 and the headline regarding Karen she could take 90 laxatives at once. This piece was off of a just published biography called Lead Sister. The story of Karen Carpenter by Lucy O'Brien.

And this piece in L Pice was published on November 7th, 2023 by Beatriz Sorano.

I'm going to read from this piece because it is unbelievable and we don't see this kind of coverage nearly as much as we should. In 1975 at the peak of her career. Karen Carpenter weighed only 88 pounds.

The book details how just a year before she died Karen Carpenter went into treatment.

Quote anorexia had become a tyrannical force in Karen psyche telling her that food was an enemy to be thought of Brian writes in the new biography. Karen put herself in the hands of Stephen Levin Cron, an eminence psychologist who was well known for his research on anorexia nervosa and self harm. His methods were somewhat controversial during treatment. Karen would be dependent on Levin Cron, so it's to become independent of her illness until she could establish herself on her own. From the book in January 1982 Karen flew to New York and moved into a suite at the city Regency Hotel near Central Park taking 22 suitcases of matching clothes and shoes close quote my aside.

That's an obsessive compulsive mind.

And that dove tells with eating disorders.

I definitely had OCD as a kid definitely. She invested a lot in that therapy. $6,000 a month for the hotel room and $100 for each session with Levin Cron which would mean a total of $2,000 a month to be exact. A lot of money back then. Undergoing treatment was a step toward a cure, but the singer remained ill as her biographer reveals the artist meaning Karen walked to the doctor's office every day with the intention of burning calories.

Similarly, while in the office she moved constantly from one side to the other instead of being at rest, but Levin Cron was not an office and he knew that all those compulsive behaviors had their origins in the disease.

For the egg, he intended to deactivate them one by one quoting from the book in one of his first sessions, he spoke with Karen about what she took to expel food.

She opened up saying that she could ingest more than 90 duplex. That's a laxative at once. 90 at once. Continuing from the LP ice piece, she also admitted taking 10 sinthroid pills a day since the thyroid medication would have the effect of speeding up her metabolism, Levin Cron, was horrified in overdose of thyroid medications could cause coma, seizures, and heart attacks. Question, where was Karen getting that medication?

So called broctox. Just write prescriptions. You know, we saw it with Matthew Perry. It is on doctors, just given whatever he wanted. In 1982, she would record her last song titled "Now."

Soon her illness got worse again.

It didn't help that the people in her circle didn't understand Karen's illness and did not know what to do to help her.

I do not think you could say the same of Ariana Grande today. Continuing, it was again Dr. Levin Cron who raised the alarm. It was after she went to his office warning him of a new symptom, quote, "My heart does strange things." My heart does strange things. She weighed 75 pounds when on her doctor's orders.

She was admitted to the intensive care unit at Lennox Hill Hospital in New York. Her digestive system was so damaged that she could only be fed intravenously. Yet she was discharged before Thanksgiving. She seemed better. She declared herself cured. She left her doctor, but not before giving him a painting, in which she herself had embroidered a message, quote, "You win, I win."

In the last months of her life, she resumed her social life and her musical projects with her brother.

She had plans to return to New York. She never did.

On February 4, 1983, Karen got up, but did not go down for coffee, her mother found her in her room, and she was taken to a nearby hospital. She was pronounced at at 941, that morning. Look at this trip tech. These images of Karen carve into her. That third image on the right. It's unspeakably, unspeakably sad and alarming.

And Karen Carpenter, like Ariana Grande, made a lot of money for a lot of people.

And when she died, I was little when she died, but I remember it. I remember when a shock it was.

I wanted tragedy because it was so preventable. And we saw it. Everybody saw it happen before our eyes took a long time for her to die of that, but she did. And here we are. Ariana Grande's team doing cleanup. They let it go too far. Now everybody knows.

All you are just looking to do is look at that video and say this is never going to see the light of day.

And you're getting into treatment now. You need help. The last thing I want to tell you guys about, if you haven't seen this, it is on the internet, you can find it. I saw it maybe 20 years ago. A friend of mine told me about it. I had never seen it before. The director Todd Haynes, who's made some brilliant brilliant films. His most recent film, I loved May December. I loved his 1987 student film.

I think he was at Brown University. It's called Superstar. And it's the story of Karen Carpenter.

And he tells it. It's a 43-minute film. And he tells it using Barbie dolls as the characters of Karen and Richard and their parents and the music execs. I remember being blown away by it. He's not making fun. It's not ironic. You watch that. And you think this is a real artist. I think it remains brilliant. Richard Carpenter sued Todd Haynes over that film and he won. The ostensible reason was that Todd did it without having the copy rights or buying the rights to the music of the Carpenter's that he used.

But also I think Richard was very unhappy with his depiction and the depiction of their parents who I do believe were. It was a very weird dynamic in the Carpenter family. I think very weird. But anyway, if you haven't seen it superstar, and maybe I'll write a little bit more about it on the sub-stack this week. Anyway, coming up, we are going to lighten the mood. Guys, we need to talk about Jeff. Plus, we've got trouble maker feedback. We're back in a minute.

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Andy Cohen, Andy Cohen, okay. This is too good. There are members of nerve HQ taxing this to me. And it's an immediate yes. Okay. So we all know how Andy Cohen is out there in these mean streets,

walking on and on about being in a very happy relationship with his boyfriend, who doesn't care about the housewives. He told Craig Melvin, like the guy, like he doesn't care about celebrity junk,

and like he doesn't even, he's never even seen an episode of housewives,

which is code for like he's with me for me, not because I'm like famous, or I'm like paying him a monthly retainer. Just a guess. Just my, my guess. Because as you know, Andy is facing a very, very serious lawsuit in New York in September or October in which many, many nefarious things are alleged.

And Andy is, I think, you know, the nurse theory of the case is that Andy is trying to clean

himself up and domesticate himself. He's going public with a boyfriend who is age appropriate. 12 years younger, but still generationally appropriate. He's reunited with the dog that he dumped, and we're going to show trouble, make our art involving Teddy and Andy's former dog.

And he's showing architectural digest the house he built on the ocean in the Hampton

so that it's definitely not designed for sex parties. No, no, no. It's designed for a small children. I, I defy him to, to give me their current whereabouts at the moment. Like, the nannies are raising those kids. Anyway, so there's this guy named Robert,

he's, he's mean Robert, suppole that a junior. Who went on Instagram and wanted to let Andy's official boyfriend Kevin, so be asking no that he saw Andy on a dating app called Field. And it spelled F-E-E-L-D.

Now, I asked a member of Team Nerf who is definitely not Marlena because Marlena will do a lot for this show, but there are two things she will not do. She will not buy a cafe on Amazon for any sort of set or prop work we want to do because she is afraid of what the algorithm will push her way and/or that Homeland Security may knock on her door.

Number two, she will not go on dating apps that are designed for Primissuous gay men. She won't do it. I don't know why, but she pushed that off to somebody else on Team Nerf, who I don't know.

But anyway, this person came back and reported,

I think everybody just wants their anonymity here,

that Field is an alternative, location-based dating and social app designed for open-minded individuals, couples, and the curious. Reddit says it's King Friendly. So we know, I think, just my opinion,

that Robert Sepulveda Jr. is telling the truth. Okay, this is a post that we're going to show from someone who goes by Mr. Housewives, directed toward Andy's boyfriend Kevin Soby Eski, Kevin get out of this man. Your name is already getting muddied.

On August 5th, 2026. And Robert himself is a practitioner of the reality show arts. He was on a dating show called Finding Prince Charming that aired on Logo back in 2016. Okay, so Robert is an out gay man as well.

And he took to Instagram to publicly claim that not other than Andrew Cohen, message him on Field on July 8th of this year. He claims he got a voice message from Andy on the app.

Okay, on said date, and he also sent a DM to Kevin

directly informing him of Andy's activity. Want to know what he wrote?

Yeah, here's what he wrote.

Hey, Kevin, just wanted to give you a heads-up.

Andy is on Field with an anonymous profile. I have a profile there too, but my face is hidden. He actually messaged me thinking I was someone else. Once I told him it was me, I've known him for about 10 years. He said it would be called dangerous if anything happened.

Dangerous is a weird word. I think Andy's dark. I think the guy's fucking dark. It would be dangerous if anything happened because I've been on a few TV shows. So what?

So what? Andy just rolls around in that reality world. He loves people who've been on TV.

Robert continues to Kevin in this alleged DM, which I believe.

Hey, if you two have an open relationship, then no worries at all. If not, I'd probably pay attention because he's clearly looking for something else.

Andy has always been a bit of a flanderer.

Here's the name of the app, along with the voice memo I sent him before I blocked him. I think every day Andy wakes up and thinks that one of the smartest things he's ever done was blocking the nerve and me and Marlena. At least one of our producers. I also think that Robert is being very generous in this assessment because I just think Kevin's a bot and paid for public relations beard. Kevin's supposed to make Andy look respectable now.

He's still the same slimy, sluggie guy he ever was, just my opinion. Okay. Now, trouble maker Allison sent this art in and it was so good. We put it on our sub stack. I put it on my personal Instagram account and now I'm sharing it with all the trouble makers.

This is Teddy taking walk is statement. And that's Teddy from the back. That's Waka. We think Waka is being very truthful. He's got both paws on the table.

He's not even looking at the bowl of treats. And Teddy's taking notes from Waka's report that he was minding his own business when he's former owner, a costume on the street and poor Waka wants nothing to do with this. And as I said, number one, it was cut out of that. But the whole image you can see a bunch of other dogs in the background waiting to give their own report to Ted.

And secondly, a cup of coffee to which I said, like, I didn't even know Teddy was drinking coffee now. I'm really worried about that, dude. It's really grown, but like, I feel like stunts everything. And he's like, already so compact. But I'm very proud of him.

I'm very proud of him for being the kind of investigator that I think a traumatized dog like Waka

feels he can trust. I think, you know, Teddy does believe he is the Olivia Benson of K9 criminal investigations. Anyway, moving on. Okay, Sunny and Gabriel Hauston, as we know as discussed on last week's nerve, Sunny has hired Tenny Garagos, daughter of famed criminal defense attorney Mark Garagos.

Mark, her father, has represented the Menendez brothers. Among a host of fucking monsters, okay. Teddy was on the legal team that got Sean Diddy Comes off of the most serious, serious charges that could have put him away for life. Okay. Sunny hired Tenny fucking Garagos to represent her son.

He's a Harvard grad. He's just geometry to fourth graders in the South Bronx. He got a citation for rolling around down at the train tracks by the port of bodies. And he told the cops he was working out. And Sunny came down there and made it a federal fucking scene.

And the cops knocked it down from a misdemeanor to a citation and said to TV, Sunny Hauston. Hey, listen, this isn't the crime of the century. It's a citation. There's no criminal record here. He's not getting points on his license.

It's almost like it never happened.

All he has to do is show up and court. That's it. And Sunny is making a fucking federal case out of it. Like literally, we've had our producer call over to Tenny's office to get her hourly rate.

Tenny's hourly's go from 800 to $1,500 per hour.

That doesn't even count what she charges for travel fees. Tenny's based in Manhattan. She's got a travel up to New Rochelle.

And she's got to find parking, you know what I mean?

Like, just take this fucking citation. Sunny actually, you know what? Thank you. Thank you for reminding America what an entitled piece of shit you are. The nerve is going to be following this case as it develops.

Now, this reminds me of nothing so much as when Carrie Kennedy got a D-W-I. This was back in 2012. This is from the New York Times. Carrie Kennedy, governor's ex wife. She's the ex wife of former New York mayor.

Governor, excuse me, Andrew Cuomo. She was arrested and charged with driving while impaired by drugs. On Friday morning after she collided with a tractor trailer in Westchester County. And left the accident scene state police said, Ms. Kennedy, through a spokesman denied the charge.

According to the police report, Ms. Kennedy 52, was southbound on Interstate 684 when her 2008 Lexus hit the truck around 8am.

She kept driving and left the highway despite damage to her vehicle,

including a flat tire, according to the report. Now, she later claims she was on one quantum pen or something like that. The truck driver was in a world of trouble. You know, the Kennedy's don't give a shit. Like, in her mind, that truck was in her way.

She was coming from yoga or some shit. You know, but she was fucked up at 8am. Okay, she was acquitted every one in New York. She was fucked up at 8am. I think she made it.

What's she going the wrong way? I don't even remember. But she had to go to court. And she fought this in court. And what she did was wheel in.

First of all, every member of the Kennedy family that was in

around the tri-state attended that trial. And she wheeled in her fucking mother, Ethel Kennedy, who was 85 years old in a wheelchair to get sympathy. And so that the jury would be star-struck by a bunch of worst-toothed Kennedy fucking repeat offenders.

And she got acquitted.

I think sunny Austin thinks this is the playbook to use.

And we don't live in that kind of world anymore, sunny. We just don't. Now, trouble makers are in Amy Griffin's Instagram comments. Okay, you are active. And we love it.

You're like an active virus. Now, this was sent to us from trouble maker Heather S. Calling out Amy on Instagram as discussed Amy Griffin is the second repeat offender celebrity, repeat offender that the nerve is aware of. Who has blocked us on Instagram.

Now, Amy went one better than Andy. She did. She not only blocked the nerve and me and Marlena and our producer, Alyssa, but another producer as well. She found our other producer and she blocked her.

And we definitely think that's the way to go Amy. Definitely. Dear Morine, I just watched your clip about Amy Griffin blocking you. So I had to go over. She immediately spotted a trouble maker and her comment did not disappoint.

I screenshot it for you in case you can't see it. Keep it up. Heather asks for me, Florida, and we are showing it here. Hey. Why do you block the nerve?

See, Amy?

We're always going to find out.

Okay. We are running out of time for trouble maker feedback. But I want to say this. On Sunday, I've been as convalescing. I was in luck.

I like to say, you know, the faint smile upon the nerve. I may be kind of down with this bronchitis. But if I had not been down with this bronchitis, I would not have found a gene tyranny marathon on TCM on Sunday. And it strengthened my resolve like we're doing a gene tyranny segment.

If I'm well enough to do three new shows next week, a gene tyranny segment is among them because I'm going to be taking it very easy after tomorrow's nerve at night. Friday, we're going to do a compilation episode Saturday. We do have a mini that we pre-taped.

But that gives me a lot of time to build and write the gene tyranny segment,

which I think is going to be amazing.

Keep your feedback coming.

Email me at [email protected].

DM me on Instagram at more eincallianwriter or the nerve show.

Go subscribe to our sub-stack over at the nerveshow.com. Up next. Someone new decided to join the live chat. During our mini about Oprah closing what we believe is her extremely problematic leadership academy for girls and this person decided to

refute everything we had to say and this person's name was Jeff. And we don't think that that is Jeff's real name. And so up next we are all going to talk about Jeff and the troublemaker communities response to Jeff.

By which we mean Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah has entered the nerve chat. Just our theory of the case. See you in a minute.

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Now something unprecedented happened during the live stream of this weekend's Minaena or last weekend's Minaena or I should say, which was a deep dive on Oprah Winfrey's decision to close her Oprah Winfrey leadership academy for girls and why the mainstream media is really not asking questions that truly do need to be asked.

Now we teased it on Friday's show and on the sub stack without saying who the subject of Saturday's mini was. We simply said it was regarding an a list celebrity who is a frequent repeat offender on the nerve and who's at this story actually likely does beer into true criminality.

True, that's all we said that's all we said before before. The mini even began streaming on YouTube. There was someone new in the comments. Who seemed to know exactly what this mini was about and who is very active in defending the subject of the mini defending Oprah, which says to me

because we keep a very, very tight like me to know circle at nerve HQ. So it says to me that Oprah, Gale, Oprah's people are watching the nerve. Don't forget, pilot gale told us, trouble maker, pilot gale. She did a tarot poll for us. She told us that Oprah had considered suing the nerve because we just want to

know where steadiness and that she opted not to because of discovery. She's watching the nerve trust me. Someone named Jeff. We have the full name. We have the full handle.

We're going to talk about it was active in the live chat. And before we go any further, I just want to say that the very prolific activity by Jeff has inspired me to join you guys all in the live chat. And we'll talk about that more at the end of this segment. Because right now it will not wait any longer.

Oprah just dropped a podcast two days before the mini.

Okay, hers dropped on YouTube and IG on August 6th.

Our dropped August 8th.

She's in conversation with a social psychologist for her podcast

with a live studio audience. It's her talk show, but whatever. His name is Dr. Jay Van Bevel. Dr. Jay Van Bevel. This conversation is about why does people are mean these days.

I take this to be like Oprah's now swimming in the chum with the rest of us. And she's like, wait, I don't get treated like a fucking superstar anymore. Here we go. I didn't use a show because I know you all have noticed it too. People are just so mean.

So Oprah is wondering when how and why it is that people the nerve have gotten so mean. Less we forget Oprah hauling James Fry, Fry, excuse me, up onto her stage to castigate him for lying that his so-called memoir was a lot of it was embellished and made up.

She spent an hour wood shedding that guy in hour.

Nobody got hurt. Nobody got hurt. She humiliated him. Harry and Megan, they were mean. Prince Philip was on his deathbed.

We now know the late Queen Elizabeth was suffering with blood cancer. Oh, they're racist. They didn't like me. They, you know, oh, I was suicidal while pregnant. They didn't care.

I think that's mean to let unfounded accusations that were meant to bring down

the British monarchy just to stand like that. Just to hang out, other conversations about and concerns about what the baby's skin color might be and what that might mean or look like you know, Megan use eight words. One will do what? Money quote, money quote, and of course, Steadman.

We think it's mean to dispose of the remains and not let his nearest and nearest know where he is and what happened exactly. We are working theory of the case. We don't believe Steadman is still alive. Now, it is worth looking before we get to Jeff and his activity in the live chat.

Jeff/Opera. It is worth looking at the intro to Oprah's podcast because you're going to die. Here we go. Everything I do began with intention. You become exactly what you believe is possible.

Especially Mr. the Dark Arts. You're doing good, Amy.

I believe when people share their personal journeys with authenticity.

Never thought of it like that.

I love that you've never thought of it that way before. And with intention, something beautiful happens. We recognize pieces of our own lives in bears. We realize that actually helps, right? We are not alone.

Okay, as discussed on the many the latest scandal to rock the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for girls was a student there nine months pregnant who gave birth on that campus. It seems and the body of her dead newborn was found in one of her bags. But Oprah's a force for good. Sure.

Here's Oprah on why she has had to disable her comments. Just like Meghan Markle's disabled her comments. Okay. Here's Oprah on why she has had to do this. I don't even have to be seen anymore.

Because people just say the mean is crazy things. Yeah. And all the people get together and they're like, oh, I'm here. I'm here. We're a statement.

I think that's just an obvious question.

Now, she's also disabled her comments. Not just on Instagram, but on YouTube. You know it's bad. You know Oprah is feeling, feeling this title wave that's coming. Okay.

And here is proof that she is watching the nerve. She says it. She tells on herself right here. Proof. She is watching the fucking nerve. Here we go.

I'll tell you this. I was thinking this because, you know, as we don't, we don't have comments. That's why you don't have comments. Even as you're watching this podcast.

Because people just get so the vitriol got to be so bad. We just stopped it. But I remember back then.

She was beloved.

I was thinking this the other day when I was feeling this whole thing that you're talking about.

People are so mean.

I did it out. I remember when people were doing snail mail.

And I used to get like 10,000 letters a week. I find one letter that said, I didn't like the way you did it. I would look that person up. I would find them.

I would check them now. And call them up. And then they say, "Oh, Oprah, I didn't mean that girl." I can't believe this is you calling me. Hey, Oprah, we mean it.

We mean it. We're waiting for your call. We would love to have you on the nerve. Love to have you on the nerve. I mean, we think you've already been here.

Jeff, let's get to Jeff in Saturday's live chat. By the way, Marlene is theory, which I like a lot. Is that Jeff is code for the Spanish word, "Hefe," which means "chief."

Because I thought, "Gale." Okay, maybe it's "gale." But, and another trouble maker, sent this email.

And I think this theory is also an elegant, beautiful,

absolutely legitimate theory of the case that Oprah

would never deputize a minion to get in the live chat

at the nerve, because to do so, would be to admit to somebody in her employee or someone who she thinks is lesser than she, how much the nerve bothers her. She's got, she's got to act like the nerve.

She doesn't even know who we are that we even exist. Guys, I think Oprah was in our chat. A lot of you think so too. Okay, we are going to read. This was posted, again,

before we even went live, okay. Before we even went live, this is Jeff. Jeff/Opra. Should we just call him Jeff/Opra for kicks?

Not saying we definitely know it was Oprah. It's just our theory of the case. Jeff writes in the live chat.

"Never seen so many people try so hard

to smear a school and drag it through the mud." The school has offered the best education money can buy to 1,000 of the poorest and blackest girls.

Again, I think only somebody who was also black

would say poorest and blackest girls. And all we hear about for 20 years, Jeff, Oprah continues is the scandal. Not to mention the thousands of internet lies. No good deeds goes unpunished.

No good deed goes unpunished. That sounds like self-pitting to me. Yes, again, another mark in the column for evidence that it's Oprah. Okay.

Now, after there was a comment about the infant who was found dead in the bag of the student who gave birth to that infant. Jeff's entire handle is Jeff. Jeff, J-E-F-F-Smith, S-M-Y-T-H, 39-3-O,

and I leave it to troublemakers to the troublemaker army to try to discern in that numerical sequence. Do those numbers track with any date that is significant to Oprah or to Gale

or to Oprah and Gale? With 3-B-March, with 9-3-B, could 9-3-O-B, could 39-B the age which is something I don't know. But I leave it to you guys.

Okay. Jeff's comments. I'm reading from my printouts. The troublemakers were discussing, okay. This was after I talked about why so much information

about the school and the sex scandals that have rocked the school's sex abuse, sexual assault, students who say they were victimized by either a dormitory matron, whatever. Why is all this information scrubbed?

I like and saying we think Oprah scrubbed it. We can't prove Oprah scrubbed it. Jeff says she scrubbed it. She did scrub it. Jeff is saying she scrubbed it.

She scrubbed it because people like you, meaning me, keep smearing her school, comma duh. I'm not smearing the school. I'm reporting on the known facts.

I call it crazy, if girls who are attending this school

within months of it opening are saying,

hey, I was sexually assaulted by someone who is hired

to be in charge of me. It's not smearing. It's reporting a fucking fact. Oprah. A troublemaker who goes by LA Media 143.

Jeff, do you work for Oprah? Let us know where Stedman is. Jeff replies, "Greatest school in Africa, closing down haters have won sad."

Lawyer 68 in the top chat says this is what we call a deep dive. Humoring. Jeff replies, "It's a witch hunt, not a deep dive." Caroline, we see you in the comments a lot.

I thought he was Stedman. Carol, can gale type that fast? So you guys are thinking it's Stedman or gale. I think it's Oprah. I think it's Oprah.

Jeff running a school in a third world country

is way harder than you think, especially when you're under spotlight. Another mark in the Oprah column.

How would Jeff know what is like to be running a school

in a third world country under spotlight? Trouble maker cats. Jeff, Teddy P.I. is watching you, my friend, and says, "Is that you, Stedman?" Jeff Smith.

And this is to clearly me saying, Oprah's announcement that she's closing the school because she can reach more girls and do much better work by having a scholarship fund.

And me saying it's not either or she's a billionaire. Why doesn't she just keep the school open? And open another scholarship fund because she's a billionaire and she can fund this until long after her dying day.

Jeff says it's Oprah's money and she can waste it if she wants another trouble maker says in response to this. Oprah is bullshit evil. Personified Jeff Smith,

3930 response students bullied students at a school shocking followed by multiple exclamation points.

That was clearly in response to my report.

My re-report of existing reports that Oprah failed to scrub because they were on hyper local news outlets that I wasn't about bullying. It was about girls saying that other girls at the school were subjecting them

to sexual activity that that was unwanted. Another trouble maker in response to Jeff Smith, I mean Jeff had to go. There was discussion in the live chat amongst real trouble makers as to whether Jeff should be blocked.

I was watching this in real time and was very gratified that you guys were like no, he needs to stay or Oprah needs to stay because this is incriminating. This is too good.

Carolyn writes, I was ready to block him. But then I thought I'd let Steadman keep on making ridiculous comments. Very entertaining. Then,

Lila C.K., another frequent writer in the live chat. I was talking about when Oprah said twice in that AP interview that we showed that televised AP interview that when girls,

meaning the girls who were going to intend to her school, were valued for something other than their body more than once that I found that a very chilling statement. Very chilling. I don't know an educator or school administrator who speaks that way

of their students, especially in an all-girl school, where the sensitivity to that stuff is like up here. Lila C.K., other than her body,

yes, Maureen, that's a code, another trouble maker. John of God, Epstein Weinstein Diddy,

her friends are real creeps now.

Oprah has always denied having anything to do at all with Epstein.

She's always denied that. John of God, the preacher, the guru, the spiritual leader

who Oprah endorsed, allegedly befriended, and is now in prison for raping like 900 women, will get to it, Oprah.

There is so much regarding your nefariousness throughout the decades that you know, we only have so much time, but we're going to get to John of God. Okay, John of God,

Jeff Smith, Oprah had zero links to Epstein. Another trouble maker, Jeff is probably gayl, where a stedman,

L.A. media, I won't be listening to Jeff/Stedman/Kail,

Defend Oprah,

any longer to which Jeff says immediately,

how is graduating 1000 girls this game? I, again, I think this is Oprah. I do. One of our beloved trouble makers,

you can't criticize Maureen

until you've been an astronaut like her,

Jeff. Have you been to space? Have you? Now, that is also a mark in the column of it could be gayl,

because you know, gayl would die to be like, yeah, I've been to space, you know,

but she's got a bite or tongue. So I don't know. Jeff Smith comes back after I discussed why it was that, Oprah,

if we all knew about Harvey,

Oprah knew about Harvey, and Oprah knew the real shit. Okay, she knew the dirty fucking details. And why is it that up until Harvey was busted, we she by his side at any number of award shows

and events and parties beaming, and how her presence at Harvey's side could signal only one thing to any aspiring actress who didn't know better, that Harvey was safe,

that the rumors were bullshit, because Oprah's a good person, right? So would Oprah be paling around with a known serial rapist?

No. Jeff Smith says, again,

I think only someone who is black would write this.

I do. Jeff Smith, Harvey wasn't into black girls moring

even your conspiracy theories suck.

Jeff, whoever you are, allow me to disabuse you of that. Allow me by the way, to tell you why I know that's bullshit.

Okay, as discussed before on the nerve, I have to be very circumspect because this wasn't off the record meeting.

When Harvey was on trial in New York, I had an off the record hours long in person face-to-face meeting with him. Because he was considering giving me an interview,

and I came to call this my audition, it's a whole story for another time. But prior to that, and this is what a piece of shit Harvey is. I was given a packet.

I was given a packet that was called the proper narrative of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, or story, whatever. Contained within this packet,

were private emails

that had been sent to Harvey over the years

by any number of actresses who are household names. And he told me, I mean, there are Oscar winners in there. People that are house, you know, whatever. So he was like, "Well, did you read everything I gave you?"

And I was like, "Yeah, I did." Like, I felt, I did not feel that I should have ever seen those emails, those were private communicates. Anyway, Harvey made it clear to me

that he did like black women. Okay, I will leave it at that. But it was beyond crystal clear. So fuck off, Oprah. Fuck off.

Fuck all the way off. Okay, finally, the devastating last two quotes from Jeff, which leave me to believe that this is Oprah in all of her heartlessness

from Jeff. I could not make this up, and it is disgusting. Jeff writes, "Dead infants are found at literally

every African school." That does it. That does it. The faith smile upon the nerve, my bronchitis was tamped down

enough to give it to Oprah with both fucking metaphorical battle. Barrows. Barrows. If you haven't already,

check out our sub-stack at thenervshow.com. That is our weekly email, full of bonus, original content, troublemaker art,

troublemaker feedback, my recommendations, further dispositions, on stuff we touched upon, stuff you guys have been asking about throughout the week,

whether in the live chats, or the YouTube comments. And by the way, as discussed at the top, we are going to set a date

for a nerve live stream on YouTube in the very near future, in which I will join the troublemakers in the live chat, Andy Keyway,

you better be there, plus nerve merch, grab something for yourself or pick something up for a fellow troublemaker at shopthenerv.com

and come back and see us tomorrow. Won't you please on the nerve at night? We will never guess.

What we're about to say next.

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