How To Regulate Your Nervous System, Break Toxic Relationship Patterns, & Heal Your Body Ft. Alyssa Lynch

- Girl talk. This is a total girl talk episode. Alyssa Lynch and I get into a candid conversation.

She opens up in this episode like never before. She shares some really personal experiences in this episode.

And she also talks about her journey with self-trust and self-love. In this episode, you can expect a super open conversation. So we discuss healing, being calm, real, grounded. And we really focus on how to build a life that actually feels good, not just one that looks good.

Alyssa Lynch, welcome to The Bostics. Okay. Alyssa Lynch is here. We kicked Michael off the episode because we wanted to have some girl talk.

“And I think that this episode just didn't need his interjections.”

- I love his interjections, right? - We're going to go all over the place. We're going to talk about healing old trauma, energy healers, periods, beauty, health, wellness, skin. And I just don't, let's just do a feminine energy. Next time you come on, we'll do both. - Okay. Welcome to The Show. - Thank you. So give us a little bit of background on the journey that you have been on the last couple of years because it's been intense.

“- It has, yeah. Well, going back so when I moved to LA, I think it kind of started.”

I was 19 and I moved here and I was really excited. I was in a relationship. And that's kind of when I got started with social media because he was in the business. And I kind of judged it at first and then I was like, this actually is just a way to like be creative. I mean, this was in 2016, right? So it's a way to just be creative and have the freedom to do kind of whatever you wanted. And it was a really, it was a really traumatizing breakup. I know I was only 20 or 21 when the breakup happened.

But I was so in love and in fantasy land and I thought we were buying a house together and having kids together and all these things.

I started to get really spiritual and that's when I, I've always had a like a spirituality thing inside of me that I, you know, I've always wanted to explore as well.

“And so I think I took that as like permission as 21. I was like, I'm booking myself this yoga retreat.”

I met so many lovely girls and think goodness for that because when I got home, I had only been gone for six days, but he had done some type of spiritual drug, which I know is a beautiful experience for some people. But I think with maybe some of the, some of his chemical imbalances that it set something off. I mean, he was in a psychosis and it was traumatizing. He wouldn't snap out of it. A psychosis is traumatizing, but it's so traumatizing for another person to experience as well. Like, like, and this is, this is not the same, but similar.

My brother, my brother has diabetes and he had a seizure in front of me and that's, I feel like that's kind of like a psychosis and totally. And of course, it's traumatic for the person having the seizure, but I just remember and I'm sure you felt the same being so affected by seeing that. Someone you love, it was also hard because it wasn't there was so much like ego that I was being told that I was crazy. And it was, it was so interesting that, you know, he was, he really questioned his sexuality and thought that he was in love with a man and also also would, would do things like meditate at the wheel and get in car accidents from it.

Now it was like, my mother was like, sweetheart, come home to Canada police. And then now everyone, like now I can laugh about it and people are like, you need to write like a cliche Los Angeles book, you know, because that stuff only like happens in stories and movies, but it was reality and I was just such a, I just, I didn't have any friends here. I didn't have a life here. I did, which was my mistake and I learned from that, but I really revolved. I was inserted into his life. And I didn't create my own life. And so then having to try and get out of that was really tough. I had health issues come up and my, my period stopped and I lost a lot of weight and I had such crazy insomnia.

This is wild. Yeah, so it, so it sounds like that this, this relationship like affected your entire identity.

“Yeah, I think it really, really affected my nervous system. You know, I think my nervous system went into complete, like, shut down mode.”

And so I have been working since then to, to heal my nervous system. And I've never shared that story before.

So a lot of, you know, people, and I am a sensitive person and I, I know, like, I think you can relate. I've heard you talk about even like when you walk into a room if it's really fragrant, you're like, you know, Oh, it's the worst. I mean, like, I got to stay in hotels that have no fragrance. So even on that, like, physical level, I've always been like that. But I do think this certain circumstance really sets something off and the hypersensitivity after that was just, like, really intense. I think when you're at capacity with your nervous system already, and so many of us are because of all these overhead lights and, and the fragrances and all the different things that are in the world.

The food and then something like that happens. It's like your thermometer, like, just cracks.

Yeah. And I, from what I'm seeing in front of me and what I've seen on your social media, as it seems like after this horrible relationship, you went through a lot, but it seems like you also have had this really healing journey of, and I could be wrong. This is my feeling of learning to love yourself. Or sure. So when I would think when you enter into your next relationship, and you'll have to take us on with that story, but like it seems like you entered in your first one, depending on him, and then the second one, or the next one, maybe you entered loving yourself.

“Absolutely. I think my biggest lesson in this life, or in this era, like 20s, my 20s era,”

is my biggest lessons are through relationships. Like, I have been in relationships. Like, I've been in five serious relationships, and they've been years long, and I, in between, I'm very single in the sense of like, I'm not dating. I'm spending all of that time on myself, but I've learned so much, and it's funny how you can, you can get into a relationship after a traumatizing one, and it's just filling the voids that weren't present in the last one, but it doesn't mean it's right, but you're so obsessed with the fact that you're like, "Oh my gosh, I've never gotten physical touch, and now I'm getting it with this person."

You know, but it doesn't mean that it's right. So I've just learned so much about myself throughout my relationships. What has it been like for you to have a platform, and to have all these people who are wanting to know what happened, and you're just not maybe ready to share every last detail right when you're in it? Yeah, it's, I think I'm an extremely empathetic person, and so even when someone has hurt me and done things that are just like so-not okay, I'm so protective over them. And I just have this sense of like, I can't, it's not just my business, it's theirs too, and I just can't share that.

So I think that's been, but I'm also, it's hard because it's like, it's like I'm fighting myself because I'm also a very open person, and I think the most healing thing is talking and being able to be super vulnerable, and then when someone can relate or when someone feels seen, that's the best feeling to me. When you were going through this on social, and you started to have this nervous system breakdown, how much did you end up sharing and how much did you say for yourself? And is there anything that you want your people who follow you to know that you were, like, something that they didn't know was going on behind the scenes that now you want to share?

“Yeah, I mean, I think I really, well, that's why I really leaned into wellness after that breakup because I was like, felt like I was dying.”

So I needed all of these wellness habits. It was very obvious, I was 90 pounds, definitely.

I don't even, I think the word eating disorder is like, it's never something I was diagnosed with because I never saw a professional, and I just think it's so complex.

I, I look back and I'm like, I don't even know if that's an eating disorder because I think I was just so. Over my nervous system was so out of whack that I didn't want to, I was afraid to put certain things into my body because I didn't want to feel worse.

I get sick to, like, even the thought of food when I'm really upset about something.

And so you're right, that is a complex word. It is. It's almost like the relationship ending activated that. So I don't know, I mean, I don't know enough about eating disorders, but I just know that sometimes you get so sad and you get so depleted that you just don't want to look at food. Exactly. And I think a lot of the time people can just think it's, oh, you're just obsessed with your weight and being thin. And it's like that actually, I don't even have the capacity to really think about that then.

It's a lot more complex. So I think. From what I've, when I've interviewed people who have experienced that, it's not as simple as being vapid about the way you look. Totally.

That's an important message, I think.

Yeah.

“And I think just because social media shows up in images, that's what, you know, people think.”

There's a lot more sometimes going on behind the scenes that people don't see. And I think like people like for stories, take stories. You see three to five minutes of someone's day. Like you don't see my daughter having a tantrum or like there's so many interocincrecies and things that happened throughout the day that you just don't see. So true. And I think that it's important to give people grace.

A thousand percent. And I feel like it's starting hopefully to go in more of that direction because we were in a direction a couple of years ago that gave Truly nobody grace. Just full assumptions. So I really, yeah, I really hope so. So that was definitely one.

“And then I think like the next relationship I got into and I did share a lot about that.”

I mean, I moved in with that person the day COVID hit. Oh, um, and the next relationship you had to quarantine right away with this person right away with someone who is clinically extremely anxious, hypocondriac. And I am someone, like I said, like, I'm so empathetic that it has really hurt me because I, when I see someone sad, I just like go into fixed help mode.

And I mean, I, because I grew my mom had me in high school. My dad was in high school. Like I just felt like from a really young age just trying to make sure like I'm not in anyone's way and everything's like really solid and good. And you know, when your parents are teenagers, like there have emotions. And so you, you can almost come up with ways as a really young child to try and and find ways to come up with. Find ways to calm people and to make them happy and it's like, it's your number one focus.

And so that happened again during quarantine and I, I talked to so many people who are like, you know, this is bad to say, but like quarantine was the best.

It was amazing. It was when we all just got together and like, oh my gosh, I wish my quarantine was horrible.

That's interesting that your parents had you in high school. Yeah, if I had my children now in high school, I would be a completely different parent than I am now.

“In fact, if I had had my children 10 years ago, I would, they would have gotten a different parent, right?”

That, that is wild to think about. High school is like, you're still processing your own, your own stuff, of course. And that makes so much sense that you're saying like, they had their own stuff and you're trying to like help fix it as a little girl. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense the why you were picking these people. Absolutely. It was like, it was projects, especially after being so hurt.

You were, I was like, okay, I really gave my heart to someone who I thought could hold it. And so I know what I'm good at. I'm good at helping other people. And so, you know, it's not all conscious. I'm just, I've really reflected on this. And I think I then got into something where I was like, I know my role here.

I can help somebody. And in the end, of course, it was like, there was so many secrets and cheating and this loyalty that I, and usually the most intuitive person, but I was so focused on feeling bad for this person because I did love them. I had so much love for them that all of those like intuitions were completely suppressed. With what you went through as a child, though, it makes sense that your picker was not the picker that you deserve. How through each of these relationships have you gotten to a place where you feel like you love yourself enough to attract someone who is worth your time?

I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was this or I could be like, why have I put myself in that position?

Yeah, I'm a really like analytical thinker. I want to understand all of my thoughts. You seem like a rebel. Yeah, yeah, and I, and it's a great thing. Sometimes it gets a little too much where I'm like, okay, just let it go and move on.

“But I think looking back, I'm like, how, you know, what are my patterns? How have I gotten into that?”

It was almost like I got into the the fixer. I need to fix him. And then I went into another relationship after that that was complete settling. It was almost like I had to try different directions to realize more things about myself.

And once I was in the one that was settling, I was like, I just woke up one day and this was only like an 10 month relationship.

But I woke up one day being like, no, no, no, this is not what I do. And that was just that was almost the worst one because it was like a slap in the face to myself. It was like you did this to yourself. You chose this person. And you know, he didn't try to be anything he wasn't. But, and I don't mean to for this to sound ego-tistical at all.

But it was like I am so much higher than and not like better, but like I'm so much more in tune. And I can call something in that is that is that is on the level on that. You're out of alignment with yourself. And for you to be able to recognize that your right is really self-aware.

“I believe with everything in life and my life that everything is happening for you. I really believe that.”

Yeah, I think you can look back even if you look back on everything that you've been through. And you're here now. Look at everything that you've learned that's helped you get an alignment to be where you are. You almost have to like course correct to get here for sure. Quick break to talk about one of our favorite companies, one of our essentials in our routine, and that is just the right probiotics and their new digestive bidders.

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And I have never had a period in a relationship. The day I break up with somebody, I get my period and the day I get into a relationship, I lose it.

“I am now in a relationship and have had a healthy cycle, and it is, and also, it's the healthiest relationship. I've been in a by far, I honestly didn't even know it was possible for something to be.”

I don't like toward the, to use the word easy, but to be honest, it is a million times easier than anything I've ever been in. And I just now can look back and be like, oh my gosh, I was so mad at my body for not working properly, but really it was just protecting me, I think, from being with the wrong person. That's wild. Yeah, because if you had had your period, you could have gotten pregnant with one of these people. And I think it's also, you know, to get a little woo woo, the healer that I've worked with is like, of course my mother didn't want to have me in high school, you know, I wasn't planned.

I mean that I was like, my mom did the best job ever as a freaking 16 year old, you know, incredible, but I think you can, when you're in the womb, take some energy from, you know, from your mom, and I think there's been fear in me growing up of having a child with a wrong person. Because no offense to my father when I think my mom's thought that a lot of times, you know, that is so true. Yeah, I am the most woo woo. And I totally agree that the baby picks up on all of it. I, I've flipped three kids in my stomach.

you didn't think about and have empathy for your mom at 16, or if you didn't understand, maybe how your mother was feeling when she carried you. It's really to me. It's cool, but you have this information exactly. And you have to, like, switch out of the victim mindset and just see it that way. And once you do, like, even, nervous system to circulations just like annoying because there's so many components to it, and you don't understand. And I think I've had so many like inflammation issues and like body aches and pains.

“And the moment, and this is honestly a really recent thing, the moment I started to like surrender to those uncomfortableities and be like, this is information. This isn't my body punishing me.”

It's, it trying to show me a sign for something. It alleviates so much. It's so interesting for me to hear that you have inflammation issues because when I look at you, you guys got to pull up her Instagram if you can't see her go watch the YouTube, but I know a lot of people know you.

Inflammation would not be on my bingo card for you. You don't look inflamed to me.

“Like, I don't, it is a thing, though. I will say like, I, you know, my, my boobs go too size as bigger. I carry, we'll carry 10 pounds of water retention and like if I really work on my nervous system over four days, it will go away.”

What does that look like working on your nervous system to get rid of inflammation? So a lot of it, a lot of the practices that I've learned come from Brian who I've worked with a lot, you know, tell us about this. So yeah, so he, it's hard to title him. I don't even know how he titles himself, but I think it's like cranial reflexology meets facial work meets he's just really good at nervous system health, especially with women and there is a lot of like breath work is really good for me because you know some people are like anxious minds.

“I'm more of an anxious body and so I, and like I said, I like to understand and know everything and sometimes my body is reacting and my mind feels good like I'm like I'm chill.”

I'm not anxious. It's not like I have room rating thoughts, but I will have like my body feels adrenaline like it could run a marathon at 10 p.m.

And I'm like, what is going on? So I know that my nervous system is dysregulated or I'll get hives all over my chest or my eyelashes all out like I don't have any eyelashes anymore, which is also I guess a sign of yeah of mineral deficiency because of nervous system and dysregulation. You got to write a book about the nervous system or so much to it. Wow. So I use the app open and I just will do like a five minute breath work or meditation that has really helped, but when I'm doing those, I literally imagine it's usually my pelvis area that holds trauma or emotion in general.

It blocks me from creativity. It feels really heavy and it's like every time I like breathe into that area and try and imagine it going down out of my feet.

Um, it's amazing. I'll usually like cry for five minutes straight and then feel so relieved after this is going to sound off the beaten path. I'm here for it. So have you ever gotten work on your pelvic floor where they go up you with fingers. You got to try it. So yes, yes, you got to try something in your collar and need to tell you, okay, okay, there's a woman in Austin that after I had a baby, she, your pelvic floor like think about all that trauma from birth, but also what you're saying, there's something in your pelvic floor.

I mean, that's, this is my own, this is Dr. Lauren. I love Dr. Lauren. Give it to me. She goes up you with gloves and she adjusts not only your pelvic floor. She almost takes pressure off your organs inside, right, and it is amazing and she does it for about an hour.

It makes sense if there that you have organs and muscles and everything up there as well, and it's like there's only so much. I mean, Brian definitely doesn't go out there that would that would that's why I go to a woman.

“That's why I'm recommending Dr. Maria in Austin. I'm obsessed with her. She like doesn't even have social media. She's the best she but I think that you should look into adjustment in the pelvic floor.”

Anyone, if anyone listening or recommendations for us, it really for you. I feel like you would love it.

Well, that's the treatment. There are the sessions that we do. I'm lying down and he pushes on different places in my body and will be like, I mean, I don't even know how it does it is like, okay, is it sore here? Yeah, okay, I got to go up to your head now and now I'm going to put pressure on your head. And I will feel the craziest release. The biggest one and I've never, I don't know if you've ever had this done is when he puts gloves on and goes inside of my mouth. There's a spot up above your teeth like up here, up like almost towards your nose and and then back also behind your teeth and he will put pressure on it and it is the craziest emotional release.

“He said he's done it to like marines that have been carrying so much trauma. And when he does it, they will cry like little babies and they're like, I haven't cried in 20 years, you know.”

And one time I did it, bald my eyes out. The next time I did it could not stop laughing. It was like that was my emotional release. Like so much like hysterical laughing.

That's trauma in your fascia. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Try that pelvic floor. I'm going to. It's really I know guys. It sounds crazy. I'm going to like fly to Austin to get it's someone to hang up there. I'll set it up for you and it's she like it takes pressure off your hips, especially if you already know what I'm talking about because you did the mouth one. Yeah, it's the same. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Perfect. Can't wait. Taylor don't get any ideas. Taylor's like Googling like pelvic floor banging porn right now.

Okay. You never know what you're going to go of it. How is moving to Ohio and out of LA and out of this energy helped you heal your nervous system and what are things that you're doing on a daily basis to allow yourself to flourish. Okay. So I've learned so much again about myself throughout this move because I'm sure you can relate the over simulation here in Los Angeles, especially as someone who's like in the business and always like putting themselves in situations that you know people are networking and talking and and that it's a lot.

And that's why I'm so grateful. I feel like it's my friend group is quite rare. Everyone is in the industry, but I don't think people realize that 99.9% of the time that is not documented. There's no photos taking more off of our phones. It's been a like thank goodness for them. Like leaving my entire family and moving here is one just by myself. Having them is everything. It's been really healing and amazing. But even with that, like LA was just yeah, I was getting too much and I finally I met someone who really related to me on that. Like he is the best at being so social and he's incredibly adaptable, which I think is a really great skill.

But he wants to be near the grass and the dirt and here birds chirping in the morning, not sirens and trucks and all of that. So we moved up there and it's so beautiful. We're on like 11 acres and it's like it's so nice. You don't have a neighbor in sight. It's beautiful, right?

“But then I also realized and I think this is the funny thing is that you can talk to people and be like, I'm overstimulated and they're like, well, you're a highly sensitive person. You need to be.”

Yeah, you need to move somewhere. Like out of in the middle of nowhere and doing nothing. What I realize about myself though is I also because I noticed this when I was going to New York that I like loved it. I love New York. I love walking around. I don't like going to New York and having a schedule from 8 a.m. to 8 to 10 p.m. That is a no, no good.

It's like it gets you out of your mind and I'm inspired. I'm creatively inspired a lot by that. So it was an interesting thing for me because I almost felt like bored. You know, hi, but also my nervous system was taking an exhale, but to an extent then it would get anxious because I'm like, I'm stuck. I'm I'm I'm not inspired enough.

“So it's just interesting. You can learn like different things about yourself. And I think obviously not everyone has the ability to travel a lot, but I think that's why like having a home base that is calm like getting in this phase of life.”

To travel to places that creatively inspire me is is the perfect recipe that I feel the same way. Yeah, I say this all the time like New York and LA is my mistress. I suck it. I fuck it and then I get the fuck out and I want to marry the birds and the grass and I want to wake up and walk in the street with my baby with in my pajamas. Like I don't want to run away to anyone. I just want to be low, low, low vibes. Right, I completely feel the same way. I made a TikTok the other day and I was like, I love that I moved to farm town, but I'm in LA right now. I have my freaking overpriced expensive coconut water.

I just went to skims and bought something that Kylie Jenner was wearing and I'm a ho for this shit. Where is the macha and what is the thing that you bought that she's wearing? Oh my gosh, I bought like a one piece crazy one piece swimsuit because I'm entering that era.

From skims, but everybody's googling it super fitted and I was like, I want something more chic. I don't always want like my boobs to just like be out in a bikini.

You know, do you have great boobs? Thanks. Thanks. There are a lot sometimes. My mother just got a reduction and she's trying to influence me and I am like, don't touch your boobs. I'm so I'm going to wait till I have kids, but then maybe like a reduction in a lift. You know what? I think you look great. Thank you. That's that's you. Dr. Warren. So, and then what's the coconut macho? Where do we get that? So I get it actually read down the street. I get it. If I'm getting iced, I get it from sunlight and I get the macha.

So they have like all ready curated recipes for their macha, but you can custom make them. So I get a macha iced no milk coconut water from sunlight from sunlight. And then I get a little dollop of the coconut cold foam.

“Colleal, did you hear about it? You should do the Alyssa on the menu. We did.”

What? It's not there anymore. We did it for like a certain amount of time, but we did a actually a macha offogato. So it was pouring macha on there like ice cream and it was a hit and then we also did a smoothie. But yeah, I love him and I love sunlight.

A macha offogato. That's amazing.

Yeah. What are some beauty things that you do that also have like a little bit of wellness in them? I know you're very into the hacks and the optimization.

“You know, not saying this just because I'm here, but the like your especially travel size ice roller is everything.”

I love like a facial ice dunk as well, but sometimes that's incredibly messy and I'm traveling or whatever. So just being able to go everywhere with that is so great. Because I mean, I mean, at this point, I've branded myself as like the puppy princess where like sometimes I wake up and it's like my eyes are swollen shut. So that whole process to deep up, it's long, but that is saved my life.

You're such a big proponent of the ice roller. I always see, you're amazing.

Well, and then I created eye patches because I was like these bags are so crazy. That after I scroll, I want to put something under my eyes to go on a walk or to go get a coffee. So people don't see my under eye. Are those the green ones? Yeah, they're not. They just sold out.

Okay, because it's really funny. I was on your Instagram today doing research and I saw you in those green iPads. I didn't realize they were yours. So I wanted to create my own eye patch. And I was working with clear stem and I went to them and I said, "I'm going to do this with you without you." But I would love to do it with you because I trust your formulations, I trust your products.

Someone with, I struggle with like dermatitis, which is just like a bitch.

And so I went to them and I said, "I want them to be infused with Mocha because green tea is great for the skin and deep puffing."

And I also love Mocha and it's aesthetic and brand worthy. And all of that. So we did it. They said, "Weak me up all over them." And they're the best eye patches. Like they really are. It's hard to find eye patches that stay on. And I can do like a heated sweat class with them and they stay on.

I need some of these eye patches. I'll get you some of them. And the best is when you ice roll over the eye patch. It's so good. Best feeling because these ones too, like, they already give you that kind of like tingling feeling of waking you up.

So with ice roll over top, it's great. I am thinking about launching my own because people are really sad that they're not there anymore. It's so funny when I saw your Pedro's, like those eye patches are cute. I was like literally about to like look at them and then I was getting my hair cut. So I changed and I saw them. They're like, "Very aesthetic."

“Yeah, I think it's, I mean, as you know,”

as someone who owns a very aesthetic wellness brand, like they're important. It's important. It drives people to be curious about it. Let's take a quick break to talk about momentum and their momentum shake. Here's something that drives me absolutely nuts. There are so many different supplements out there.

So many different vitamins. So many different things that we're trying to take every single day. It can become completely overwhelming. That doesn't mean we don't want to get all these ingredients in. We don't want to try these supplements.

And we don't want to get things that we know are right for our body. This is why I love momentum and the momentum shake. Because it helps you stop the guesswork. You can see the right ingredients, the right dose, and the right form, all in one place. And simplicity is the point.

It's just one thing every morning and replaces 20 plus supplements in a single scoop in five great flavors. My favorite flavor is the chocolate, but they also vanilla, peanut butter, matcha berry, whatever's your fancy.

I personally always go with the chocolate because it reminds me of a chocolate shake.

And what I love about it is this is a morning routine that you can actually follow.

“It's something that's simple. It's easy all you have to do is put a single scoop into”

your favorite beverage. All you have to do is take a single scoop and you're getting a ton of beneficial ingredients. They're prebiotics, they're omega-3s, they're digestive enzymes. They have the protein and the colossium, the collagen, like I said, there's so many things that we talk about regularly on this show.

But for many of us were overwhelmed, there's a million things going on. There's kids, there's works, and sometimes you just want to get something that can pack one big punch, all in one place that also tastes good. This is again why I love the momentum longevity shake. Because it gets it all done simply and effectively.

So check them out, give them a try, go to momentumshake.com/skini, and simplify your supplement intake. Get momentum today, and they'll send you a free welcome kit and travel collection. A $70 value to get started, live better, longer with momentum. Again, that's momentumshake.com/skini.

This episode is brought to you by American beverage. One clear transparent information about your favorite beverages, we do too.

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That's www.goodtoknowfacts.org. This episode is brought to you by Zisol. I am so allergic to cats. The worst. And I use Zisol Allergy 24-hour.

Okay, if you're like me, if I like even smell a cat, I don't feel good the next day.

So it's really important that I always have my Zisol Allergy 24-hour relief in my hand bag.

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And then you also are going to get relief from those indoor allergens, such as dust, mold, pet, dander. Visit www.Zisol.com for more information. That's X, Y, Z, A, L, .com for more information. Eden Rock St. Barts times the skinning confidential.

This collaboration has been years in the making.

Every single detail, they don't miss anything.

It's such an experience.

“And when I thought about what brand I wanted to collaborate with, Eden Rock immediately came to mind.”

So we went down to St. Barts and we sat with their team and we conceptualized what this collaboration would look like. And so it's here. After a year and a half, it is live. The Eden Rock St. Barts times skinning confidential, red ice roller. It's in their signature red.

It has a gorgeous, like look at this. Oh, silver roller. It's so beautiful. It's very summer. You know, I could see this in an ice bucket while you're on the beach. Enjoying some rosé or margarita.

Goes right in the ice. And then we also launched mouth tape. So it's red too.

So you're going to get those red lips, very summer-esque.

And again, it's in the Eden Rock St. Barts branding. And then we launched facial towels. Everything is limited edition. It's very exclusive once it's gone. It's gone.

And these facial towels are plastic free. They don't have any formaldehyde in them. And they're so adorable to throw in your beach bag. I use them to wipe my kids hands. I use them after an oil cleanse.

This collection is so major. I'm so excited about it. And it's so fun to see this going to confidential come to life in red. You can shop our collaboration at the link in the show notes. It's orange shops going to confidential.com. And if you're at the Eden Rock St.

Barts property, you can also shop at the Eden Rock St. Barts boutique and the spa. Eden Rock St. Barts wherever you are. How do we get the eye patches if they're sold out? I know. So working on it.

We love clear some clear sums of things. There's them also launched their own eye patches. So it's very similar, a little different, but very similar. So those are now available. Well, maybe you can put like a pre-order button for this episode.

I will. Because that would be really fun for them to be able to go support. Yes. Support everything you're doing. What are other things you do?

Red light work out. Are we lifting weights? Are you runner? What are you doing? Okay. So recently I have learned about myself that I don't know.

Have you guys ever had anyone on the podcast talk about MCAS? Massile activations syndrome or like histamine overload?

I've heard that word, but we've never had anyone on the show.

So tell us.

“So there's like a few like super talented professionals that, honestly, like you should get”

on the show because I feel like MCAS or histamine issues weren't a very, there were more of a rare thing. But since COVID happened, these, you've heard of long COVID, right? Yeah. Um, it has people with long COVID, it has really affected their histamine response.

And so a lot of people now, and the more I talk about it with people, I mean, it's just wild. How many people are on antihistamines every day? Yeah. I'll rush all over my legs right now.

And I can't figure out what it's from. Just try and take a Pepsiated Clarity and see what happens. It goes away. It goes away. That's when I realized it was a histamine thing.

I couldn't figure out every time I would go to lymphatic massage. A buckle massage. I would go and do a crazy hard workout. sauna. sauna.

I would get so swollen and puffy.

“And I was like, this is supposed to do the opposite for me, right?”

And I think, I mean, the wellness industry, it's like obsessed with detoxing because we have to. We live in a world where the environment is so bad that we have to detox. But then people are having these histamine responses. So what I think about it is I think about how they kind of describe it as like you have

a bucket. And everything like one lymphatic massage is one glass in the bucket. One hard workout is another glass in the bucket. And your body can only handle so much until your histamine is over loading and then your histamine responds to it.

Massel activation syndrome is like your white blood cells are almost firing off alarms. At all times because your system is just overloaded. So I started to realize that like you were doing too much while it's doing too much. And so that's interesting. I'm still figuring out what workouts and what works for me.

But if you would have told me two years ago that I would go two weeks without working out, I would have been like, you're crazy. But that is my reality right now. I'm walking, I'm meditating and I will do like a 10 to 15 minute like whether it's Melissa Wood workout or Megan Rube workout like at my house because I just feel like I can trust

workout and it just started not working for me. I'm not a fan of the heat. Yeah. I love the system. But I'm not a fan of heated rooms.

It feels like a lot of bacteria totally.

I don't know why I've always felt like that.

Yeah, I need to be a really clean studio too to like make my mind it is. But then also I'm like, but then we're putting wind acts all over the studio and then we're heating it up. I've always, there's something about that that feels.

No, you're really on to something too because I feel like everyone gets obsessed with something and then, you know, it's it's our society. We get obsessed with one thing and we don't realize that if you do that too intensely, there are repercussions. It's like if you'll only focus on protein, then you're going to lack

fiber and like, you know what I mean? Also, if you, I'm seeing two as people eating too much meat and then you get iron. Exactly. Like you have an iron in flux and that's a problem.

You're so right and you're really on to something with that. It's it that hate to say the word balance, but it is like balancing act of like not going too hard. I'm such an intense person. Me too.

Like when I called punch, I want to be in there for five minutes and the most freezing cold and it needs to be so. Michael is. He's a fourth Japanese. So he's very.

He's very.

“He eats until he's 80% full and he's done and like, what's that like?”

It's so weird to watch.

I've never heard that myself.

It's so nice. That must be your his mind must just be kind of like. Gosh, I'm jealous of that because I'm not the same. I get I'm and I think this is this is what I mean is this is just me trying to break certain to intense habits.

It's hard. Like I want the water for freezing cold and that's not like you want like I if I feel like the intensity has got to be a response to something like right like what is what is it that like makes you want to be so intense? Well, I think to I think back to you know my childhood and where I grew up like

no shade to anyone where I grew up but they are all doing the same job. And they're coasting and and maybe some of them are really happy but to me viewing that growing up terrifying like terrifying. I was always I mean at six years old I sat my family down and I was like I'm going to move to Hollywood and I will miss you.

And it's like a joke we all joke about now because they always thought I was

will shit and the moment I graduated I was like bye guys. And I just wanted to be around like people who were so inspiring.

“And so you have to go through times of being intense you know.”

I think I heard you a Michael talking about one time of like how there was a point in your guy's career where you're like you don't sleep. You you go intense but like that's a phase of life. And then at a certain point you have to also be like okay sleep is an I get to sleep now I get to create this life because I went through the intensity

that I now get to create a life that's that I'm able to manage the intensity I have the tools now and I'm also going to take time to not be so intense. I think you're right I think the intensity works until it doesn't exactly. And if you can't pivot when the intensity works you end up being very burnt out. What do we?

You have to come back on the show with Michael too because I feel like we got some girl talk out of the way. But before you go you have to tell us about your morning and night time routine rituals because I feel like you're probably really ritualistic. Yeah I am.

I am. That doesn't surprise me. Um my morning. I mean it's nothing like revolutionary but my morning is is okay. Um is sunlight first thing like you can ask my boyfriend.

He grabs the phone and I'm so offended. I'm offended. It's actually disgusting. I think it's so gross. We can't open an eyelid without grabbing the phone. It's I'm sorry.

I get it and he's like what's wrong? I'm like you've just been. Have you ever seen the throw up emoji? The one that's like barfing.

“Yeah that's how I feel when Michael does that.”

That's how I feel. I literally it's a turn off. Oh and I like this like wave of like anger comes over me. I want to grab it and throw it. Um and I want to never said that the wave.

Like I feel the same way. I'm like angry. No I'm annoyed. Um so I open the blinds. And I get sunlight because that's what's good for our eyes.

And I used to do like hot water with lemon and all of these supplements. And to be honest, I've realized that less is more.

And I'm just like drinking water.

“Like I know it's crazy but like yeah hydrate.”

It feels good. It feels great. And then I do this thing called journal speak. Have you heard of that? It's really helping me.

You pretty much um Nicole Sachs created it. You write down everything you're thinking in your brain. It can be and it usually is so ruthless. Like it is not things you would usually. It's like the opposite of manifesting.

Like if you are like the morning pages. No different. No different. I am worthless. I'm useless.

I feel fat.

I feel like I mean like you wouldn't want to see my pages.

It's bad. But what you do is you write and you're just you're kind of like rage writing. And then you rip it up and you throw it away. And it's really therapeutic and nice. And after you see I'm on the phone, you can be like.

Exactly. Yeah. Like the phone. Yeah. So I do that and then I make a maca or I go get one.

And I just like go to walk and that's my morning routine. I'm going to tell all you girls out there something. All you girls that don't have children.

You better be enjoying your matcha morning where you can go.

Oh, I'm trying every moment. Enjoy every second. I know. I will pick up a pen. Sit down at the table.

It gets ripped out of my hand. I'm hungry. There's not right. Is it about to write my rage? No.

“You need to like lock yourself in a closet.”

But that's okay. I'm in this phase in my life. And I love it. And it's so intense in the morning with children. But my point is to everyone who does not have children.

Now is. Is love your morning. I know. And brace your morning romanticize the shit out of it. Yes.

Because if you do end up having kids that changes. Like we were talking about faces. I were you. I would sip that much. And just enjoy it.

And embrace this chapter of your life.

“And I mean, my advice is don't like feel like you have to like rush anything.”

Just be in the moment. It's really amazing. I look back on my mornings before kids and it's different. And not ones better than the other. They're both very fulfilling.

Totally. It's just I just think people who do not have children need to understand that you're lucky. You're lucky. Right. Yeah.

There's nothing worse than seeing someone who doesn't have children and has the ability to have that morning of freedom that doesn't take advantage of it and goes into full like got to get to work at a 730 and then my meetings at 830 and then this I'm like just breathe like slow down breathe and do your your journal speak. I'm going to do that maybe though when Michael picks up his phone and I'm alone in the hotel. I'm going to send you something really funny. Um, okay. Thank you for coming on.

Where can everyone find you if they want to check out the iPads where can they grab them maybe they're on pre order? Well, yeah. Thank you so much for having me. Yes. You can look on clear STEM's website.

There still might be some available. They're available until they're sold out and then I might just make my own. So stay tuned for that. But you can find me at a list of lunch on all platforms. Thank you for coming on the show.

Thanks for having me.