Crashing Out, Mormon Secret Lives, & Listener Tea

But now it's time for the next pack.

The best way to test a gratis test. If you like it, be it cheeset, cheeset, be it cheeset. Now it's time for gratis test. Call number 18. Call number 18.

Call number 18. Only for a long time. Call number 18. Call number 18. Maybe I'm just like weird.

Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the 70. With Lindsey, Chris Lee.

“I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards”

and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A Southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots.

I am a functioning non-functioning human being right now. Join Lindsey each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. That is the tea. Here's Lindsey.

Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea Good Morning Madison. I feel like if you're ever seen that lady on TikTok, where she, I think she's from South Carolina

and she always like does this the top of her drink

and she's like about to drink a crispy coat, crispy coat, what's the alony of the morning? Well, this is my second alony of the morning. Only no. When I say crash-out yesterday,

I'm gonna tell you all about it, but my favorite flavor is the cosmic star dust. My second favorite flavor is the breezeberry, but have you tried the new lime one? No, it was a good lime slash.

It taste exactly like, I'm trying to think. Key lime pie. Ooh. And I can't eat a key lime pie because I am allergic to baking soda,

so I can't have like any sweets or anything like that. And so when I taste it for the first time, one of my girlfriends was like, you've gotta go and get it and I'm like, where is the alony plug for the new lime slash?

And she's like, "Croger has it stopped. I went and got it." And my entire fridge now looks like I'm on MTV Gribs.

Oh my God, that's amazing.

That's amazing. No, let me show you about my crash-out yesterday. Yeah, let's hear about it. I'm sure people who listen, some people probably have teenagers.

Okay, you know how we talked about like 13 on not like last week's episode but the week before. Okay, well, he stopped getting himself up. That lasted, you know, like all of three days.

Right. And we're just listening, okay, so number one, does anybody listen to like fire crackling on their TV

“or like ocean scene or whatever when you go to bed?”

Yes. Okay, well, please tell me why for the past three nights, I thought that my house was on fire because you hear from the bedroom. It's like, oh my God.

So the volume turned up so loud on the crackling. Like we're at a campfire that we can no longer hear on alarm. So yesterday morning from his like TV or TV, like they have, it's like on YouTube, right? I don't know if it's on YouTube.

It's like on certain TVs, it comes like installed. Oh, okay. And so I guess the TVs that we have, it's just like automatically installed and you can just kind of like scroll through it

so if you want to listen to the ocean, you can listen to the ocean or yeah. Obviously, you know, a house fire, you can do that as well. Well, he listens to it so loud that you can hear it in other rooms of the house.

I don't know what's going on. The alarm is just like ringing going off going off. And I'm like, I feel like whenever alarm goes off for me, I automatically like wake up like I'm a wig. Like I hate the repeating noise over and over drives me insane.

Okay, so are you an immediate like you jump out of the bed or are you a snoozer? I mean, I'll wake up. It's like getting up probably like 10 minutes. Like I'll look at my phone or something

and then I'll get up. Okay, so I am a habitual snoozer. I set my alarm for like maybe 20 minutes before I actually need to be up and then I snooze every five minutes for the 20 minutes.

Wow. And it's like what's wrong with me? So I go in there and I'm like,

“you need to get up like out of your bed.”

Please tell me why there are soft drink cans upstairs. After you've already brushed your teeth for bed, I've made sure that you're like safe and good. There are walches gummy wrappers all over the floor.

It, I mean, we had a full blown rave in that room. Okay, the retainers just laying in the bed next to the cell phone like not in the mouth. And I don't know anybody else who's listening to this, but if you've ever paid for like orthonics for your children

and they do not wear their retainer, this is payback for what I did. Yeah, it's like money in the trash. It's money on the drain. So he gets in the shower.

Mind you, I give him an entire hour and 15 minutes

Please tell me why 47 minutes later,

I still hear the water of him, 47, 47, 47 block it, okay. 47 minutes later, the water is still running. So I busted that bathroom door and I'm like, what the fuck is going on in here?

“Like why are you still in the shower sleeping in the shower floor?”

What? Sleeping. With water running over him sleeping in the shower floor. Is everything okay? No, no.

So I'm like, okay, we've got to get out the door. Like you literally have four minutes to get out the store. He's not out the door in four minutes. Take him to Chick-fil-A to get breakfast, which I know people would say, okay,

well, I'm rewarding the bad behavior by doing that, but I didn't have time to do anything at home and he didn't have time to eat at home. So I had to get him something. Please tell me why I go in my email yesterday

where multiple assignments that we're supposed to be

done in school were not completed

and multiple behavior points were taken off from being off task. When my child digs his heels in, he's like the whole day is fucked. It can't just be like one thing.

- It has to be a slew of everything else. - It's a company that works day ever. - It is a full-blown commitment and I'm like, this is what we're not doing. So my assessment calls me,

and he's like, top of the morning, how's everything going? Do not call me, do not call me because this is what I'm dealing with.

“Also, remember when was it kale and I that we're talking”

about needles? I don't know if that episode did yet. - Yes, okay. - So you can't find them anywhere around here. - All right, it is, you would be striking bold

if you went in to like a CVS or Walgreens and happen to get your hands on one. Jackson's granddad, Will's dad. He was able to locate four of them. So Jackson gets them.

He's been carrying him around in his backpack which goes between mine and Will's house and the school. Will calls me another morning and it's mixing bowls. And he's like, what is in my mixing bowls? It's like, remnants of like busted needles.

Jackson got these needles, cut them. And there was stuff everywhere.

And it's, it's now a situation where I have never

allowed slime in the house. And now we're no longer doing needles. Don't even ask me. - Oh my God, so he just had, he was busting open these limited, hard to get needles.

- Yeah, and I'm like, spending like, when I say we Will's dad, spending whatever amount of money. I don't even know how much these needles cost. But spending these amount of money is on these things

and now we're breaking them. So now you have vandalized mixing bowls. You have vandalized items that somebody paid for. And like, what were you doing? - I was like, so Jackson is also going on.

- Sleeping in the shower, cutting needles. What's going on here? - What is in middle school, boys? - So then, because he didn't complete the assignment, I was like, when he got home from school yesterday,

“he was like, what are we gonna go do something fun?”

And I said, fun, no, we're going home. And you're gonna do your assignments. Ma'am, please tell me why this was the pencil. This was the pencil that he got out of. - All of it on your story.

- Complete the assignment. It's literally a noob. Like, look at this thing. A noob. This he acting like he doesn't have access to any other pencils.

What's going on? - The easy thing is, I have replaced the pencil pouch at least three times this year. And the amount of pencils that I purchased from Amazon on like the, you know,

like the back-to-school sale thing. I purchased probably over 100 pencils. I'm like that should be sufficient. - Yeah. - Why one day do they look like that?

And now all these moms and teachers are deeming me telling me that that is like a middle school boy thing. - What? - But like, how do they get it that small? - How do they, I wonder if they just like

sharpening it and sharpening it and sharpening it? - It's kind of like when we were in school, when you had like the pencil sharpener like on the wall, it was like something to do. - Yeah.

- But they don't have pencil sharpeners on the wall anymore. They have them in their... - Like there's no problem with this. - Yeah, pencil pouch.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - What? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- Yeah. So guess what I did? - Right. I fixed quick dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, took myself a bath and got in the bed and watched secret lives of Mormon lives.

- Well, goodness. What episode did you get up to? - I think eight is your eight. - There's ten. - Ten, eight, I'm on episode eight.

- Okay, okay. I have watched a full thing. And this is, this might contain spoilers. For people I've not watched at all, I know it just came out.

So feel free to skip forward or come back. But what do you think about, like who's your favorite for a small? - My favorite character, I think, is Miranda.

- I think she's my favorite character.

I think that some people probably like misunderstand her. - Mm-hmm.

“- I think she is likely like a very genuine person.”

- Oh, for sure. - There are several people on that show that I'm like, there is nothing genuine about most full of these people, and this is all for a reality TV and a paycheck.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. I mean, listen, they got all have an opportunity, right? And like a lot of people are giving flag to Whitney because the last season

was coming out during dancing with the stars. And it was like the same time where she said, like, I came back to Mamtaque because I wanted the dancing with the stars opportunity.

And like the man-based didn't like that.

And the voted her off dancing with the stars. Because of that. And I'm like, listen, the show is a stepping point. And I feel like people forget about that. And it's not like a mean or malicious way.

Like you would do the same thing. - Well, Kiel and I have kind of dealt with that a little bit where people are like,

“they are not deserving of X, Y, and Z opportunity.”

And it's like, unless you were in it, and I've said this to so many people, like, unless you're in it, you don't understand it. But why wouldn't you take the opportunity? - Mm-hmm, exactly, exactly.

- Yeah, and the last two episodes, I won't spoil it for you, but like, I don't like Jen. I don't like Jen. Jen is annoying and her husband-- - I'm sorry.

- She just, like, really piss me off. Like, I get it, like, you are four weeks postpartum going on dancing with the stars, which 100%.

Never had a kid, but I understand that's a big thing to do.

But to continue failing bad for yourself and not being a good person, is just like, not there for me. Like, she was trying to blame Whitney for not saying hi to her on dancing with the stars.

She's like, I would see her multiple times a day, and she would just say hi and like, we didn't get closer. And Jen was trying to be like, Whitney is the one. That's like, making it this way. I'm like, no, it's not.

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AquaTrue even comes with a 30 day best tasting water guarantee. That's aquatru.com, AQUATRU.com, promo code, southern tea. I mean, I do think that it's kind of hard when there's like film cycles for certain stuff, and you've had a child and you're like in the thick

of postpartum and new motherhood and having a new baby at home and trying to figure out a routine or an eschedule. But at the same time, it's like, okay, then don't take the opportunity if it's too much.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, there was the other, I forget her name. Oh, what's the other? Let me look up the full cast.

She was also like a month postpartum too. So it was Jen, and then some of the else. Or, oh, Michaela, Michaela. Yeah, Michaela was also for a week's postpartum. And then all the stuff going on with her husband

with like the intimacy, what we were thought about that. Because they got together really young. I didn't realize that. Yeah, so I did actually see headlines yesterday because I guess the new season air, yes, yesterday on Hulu.

but then she came out and made a statement.

“She was like, yeah, we did, but like, we're back together”

and like, we're working on things. Being in the public eye and going through relational stuff, I would argue is probably like the hardest part of being in the public eye when you're going through relational stuff. 100%. 100%. Like the opinions are out of this world.

So out of touch, like you literally would not know what to do if you were in that person's shoes. - For sure. And regarding the intimacy, I mean, I can kind of relate to that to some degree because Will was my first.

And so when you start, and I was also the first person my friend group to get married, the first person in my friend group to have a baby. And when you like link up that young

and you have never had any other experience.

And I almost feel like a hypocrite talking about it because I believe like to some degree or was raised to save yourself from marriage. However, there are certain things now, like looking back on it, I very much relate

to like the Jessica Simpson-Nicklisha situation. It's like they didn't end up staying together anyway. So like at that point, what is it matter? I think a lot of people struggle when they see other people doing stuff around them.

And they're like, okay, I'm stuck in this. And like our sex life's not great. And our communication's not great. And you sometimes find yourself trying to live vicariously through the other people

who are doing the stuff that you feel like you can't do. I can't imagine. - I think it's just so hard for her for it's a lot about trauma.

Like sexual trauma that you went through.

And it's hard for her to, you know, want to feel hot and have fun and have sex because she's thinking about her trauma. And I'm like, oh my god, like that, I don't know.

“I think it's just like you have to have a partner.”

It goes back to that too that can support you through thick and thin. And like, I just think it was like very interesting. I forgot her husband's name, but like they kept on saying and repeating like his number one thing like way

he feels love is sex. And I'm like, that's the only way. Like number one way. You feel sex and that's the thing that. I'm like, it's like a men alone.

- It's a secret slope, though, because I feel like a lot of people are probably like that. And I think it goes back to like the love language is, right?

You know, his love language, it probably just came across wrong

and it's not really sex. It's more like the physical touch and the intimacy of being touched. - Yeah. - I mean, I could kind of like get behind that a little bit.

- Yeah. - It was also just like they wouldn't even kiss, too, was another part that they mentioned. And I was like, whoa. - Fairly shit.

Okay, so did you see where Taylor Frankie Paul's ex came out and said that he slept with her the night before she left for the bachelor at. - That pissed me off so much. I wanted to punch the screen.

I wanted to punch the screen Lindsay. Like I was literally like, I say I'm totally 130 and the other night, 'cause I was like on episode nine and then I was like, let me go to bed. I was like, absolutely not.

She better get on that plane. Like you'll see that. - I think she missed her flight, right? She did and she had to get another one. And like, she was there with her whole family,

like her son and her mom and her sister and her aunt who's like her assistant were all in the plane and she didn't get up to go 'cause she was sick. No, she slept with him.

- I mean, how do you feel about her doing that

“because I have two different like opposing feelings on it?”

- I think, I mean, listen. I haven't been in a toxic cycle like that but I've been a best friend of somebody who has and like at the end of the day, it's like an addiction. Like, you can have so many people in your life

being like, don't do that drug. Don't do that drug. This drug will make you x, y, z. But then you're alone with the drug and you relapse and you know it's bad for you

but it's almost so bad that it's good. - Yep. - And you're just addicted to it. So I understand and I have sympathy for Taylor in that way but it does frustrate me because you know,

the baby daddy, he does stuff to like get her back in. Like, sleeps with women in the circle. Like, sleeps with women. Where do they go like London? Like, he knows what he's doing.

- I don't know. I feel like if I was putting myself in her shoes and I had gotten a lead role on the freaking bachelor at and I was flying out hopefully my mindset would not be like, I'm just nearly really doing this

because then that would be playing with people who might be there for the right reasons, right? I hope I hope the intent behind her doing that was not for publicity but it was defined true love.

this might be the last time I could ever do this

and maybe she needed the closure from that. - I know. But how much more closure do you need with Dakota? - Listen, I had been, I text you yesterday. When we were talking about this and I said, I relate to this.

Like, I relate being on that little toxic cycle of recycling the baby daddy. I think so many people do.

“I think because that's what you're comfortable with”

and even though it's like I said before, like it's so bad for you that it's good and like, everybody was just so frustrated with Taylor and I think deep down there's still that love there. Is that healthy love? No.

Is it good for you love? No. But it's there. So sometimes so when you have a kid with somebody, you love them in such a different way

because they're sat mutual bond

that it's really hard to break regardless whether it's toxic or not and I just can't talk shit about this situation, which is what I was telling you last night because I've done it. You know, literally filed for divorce in July

and slept with my ex-husband on and off through our entire divorce process. Like, what do you mean like we are communicating with attorneys back and forth and we're trying to reach a grieving on-stop

and you're sleeping over. Like you're waiting, we are hiding from our child that we created together. So that you can sneak in. Wow. And I mean, it is a very toxic, ambitious cycle

and I do think that there is some level of comfort but I remember telling Will, I was like, as comfortable as we are to each other and we created a life together and a child together. This is actually should be the most uncomfortable time

to be doing any of this stuff. Like, if we're so brazen to go out and fall for divorce and this is what we're doing. And it's like, we're having conversations, do not tell the courts that like we slept together

'cause at the point that you do that,

“what is it called like reconsumating your marriage?”

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So then they can move the court like the date of separation from that day forward. So, you know, there was a lot of level of trust there too of like we know we need this divorce.

We're not gonna stop doing this. So if you don't tell, I would tell. Wow. And how long was it like that for? 'Cause for Taylor, it's going on for years.

Like, I think they've been on and off for years, like three years. Years, but intermittently. And I will say I was absolutely with no one else through my divorce process or anything like that.

Just my assessment. Wow, that's interesting. I feel like you don't really do, though, because like, especially if there's a kid involved, it's a little bit less of the cut and dry, you know?

Like, then it makes it so sticky too,

“because it's like you have this little kid”

and you know that the life that they're going to live looks very different than what we had intended and what we created. And now we are sneaking around behind the child that we created together's back.

It's like weird. Yeah, it is weird, but it's better that he doesn't know 'cause then that eludes to more questions. Exactly. I would say, I'm not gonna say years,

I would say probably on and off for like a year and a half. Wow. Well, what made you stop the cycle? Well, I started dating. 'Cause I'm like, this is not.

And that might not have been the healthiest thing, either, to go from that and then to start dating. But I think in my mind, I was like,

this cycle will always continue until I step away from it.

Like, I have to step away from it and be strong enough and I know if somebody else is involved, then I won't do it. It's like a temptation, you know? Oh yeah, it's like a temptation.

It's an addiction. I know Taylor and Dakota, like they both knew it was unhealthy. Like, she was on the phone. They were on the phone with each other on FaceTime till she walked out for the road, like starting the last year at.

They were on FaceTime together. I'm like, tell her get off the phone. Like, what do we think about him outing that entire situation because to some degree, I get it from an emotional standpoint if he's still in love with her

and then knowing that she's like on this journey and she's gonna be with someone else. Is it messy? Yes, it's very messy. But to some degree, do I understand it?

I understand it, but I feel like with tough love,

it's like you had your chance so many times. Like, and unfortunately it's just gonna be like the one that got away because you decided to do so many shitty things back to back to back to back to back. And like, you lost her, like, you lost her.

“Okay, well, what do we think about Taylor and Chase though?”

That was really random if I'm gonna be honest. I think there was a little bit more backstory to that that we didn't really get. But I was like, what is going on? I mean, because like Miranda and Taylor have a really,

like, they've been through some things obviously but like, they have a pretty good friendship and like, I don't know. I just feel like as Miranda would be like uncomfortable with that.

But maybe that was just like a set up thing,

you know, about they do on shows. I don't know. I mean, if that was my girlfriend and that was my ex-husband, the way I don't give a flying fuck about if they were going to coffee or dinner at the point that you were going

to coffee with my ex-husband, that's weird. We're no longer talking because now I just don't trust you. Like, why are you doing that? Yep. I don't know, they really brushed that under the rug.

It was like a thing for me to do this out and they're like, okay, anyway. And I'm like, what? Oh, my God. All right, ladies and a few men who listen to this podcast,

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“important safety information and restrictions.”

- But in completely unrelated news, you know after Dallas came back home and Hunter started with me and it truly has been such a blessing, but so funny also and people when I posted him on my Instagram were like, we need an episode like immediately.

Would love to do that. He and I were actually talking about creative ideas on how we would do that to actually show our friendship. And so I'm not gonna say what it is, but you and I can discuss that like on the back end

for creative and I'm just like this could be, this could be really fine. But no, so I don't think that he relies what type of a crazy person in life that this actually is and I just, I think it's so funny

because before people are in it, they're like, oh, it's just like very con-drawing on podcasts. Like it's like, you know, just, he's like, no, that's actually not what this is. Came to my house yesterday and there's just trees

that I have ordered that are in boxes in my driveway. trees, trees, trees, and those trees for you around. When kill and I went through like that level of psychosis where we were ordering like lots of plants and trees from fast growing trees.

“- Yes, I remember hearing about kills escalates with that.”

- Yeah. - Okay, well, I did that last year as well at the same time. And now I've gone and purchased two different variations of hydrangea trees have no idea where I'm gonna put them, hopefully I selected the right zone so that they can survive

- Right. - And how is that going to be planted? Are you planting that? - No, when I called Hunter last night and told him about the trees in the driveway,

he was like, so we need a landscapeer. I'm like, yes, we do. - So you bought them and didn't think, how are they gonna get into the ground? - Yeah, I'm gonna buy it.

- I was never a part of the process.

And I feel like that's a lot of the way that I operate with like a lot of things. - Yeah. - Like, okay, let me ask you this. Are you a shopper where you go and like put an entire outfit

together when you're at a store and you're like, okay, I have all the pieces that I need to like make this outfit work or you the type of shopper. It's like I really like that and then you get it home and like nothing matches and it hangs in your closet

with the tags on it for indefinitely. - Option B, 100% option B. - Yep, I wasn't buying a matching workout set. - Nothing goes together. I'm like, okay, definitely option B.

Listen, let me tell you, I got some of the cutest shit

“from, have you used Fab Letics people were asked me about that?”

They were like, we need Pilates outfits.

I got some of the cutest outfits from Fab Letics and I just love ordering from them because it's just like you don't have to think. - It's really cute and really good material too, which I think.

- And it's inexpensive. - Mm-hmm, it's really affordable. So what'd you get from there? Like matching set or something like that? - It's pretty not.

I got vicar shorts and matching bra and like the top or the jacket that goes with it, they came out with a dress. So I got that 'cause I'm like that could be, you know, QT. Leggings bra, matching jacket.

I don't know, like 25 items of stuff that I didn't need and when I tell you, I am so glad that I was procrastinator

and left that stuff in the box

because Jackson and I were in the bed the other night. He was laying with me and I had started laundry in my upstairs laundry room and all of a sudden we heard a bang and we're like, oh, a robber's here, like, we're all dead.

No, it was somewhere the housekeeper put bleach on top of my dryer and I guess it got uneven. This is a PSA to anybody who uses bleach. Do not put it on a surface that could have any type of movement

because that bleach bottle, like the top, when I hit the ground, it flew off. It went all over the wall, all over the laundry that was in the floor. It was puddles like underneath the,

what's the little like trays that the washer and dryer go in? Like it's puddled all in that, all underneath it. And I'm like, this is not what I signed up for. Like I signed a full blown crash out.

“And it's bleach, so you have to be like careful.”

It's not like water everywhere. And then so it was like, oh, it got on some whites. So I'm like, okay, that's like not too bad. Wash them, dry them, go to put on a pair of these cutest little pants that I got

from Target the other day. Please tell me why when I put them on, that bleach ate through the crotch of those pants. Just the crotch. Just I mean, whole this big.

You have to take a photo. I'm like, what the actual hell is transpiring? Also, so I'm trying to become like a more healthy girl, so I'm going to tell you what I've been working on. So I've been working on my skin appointments,

found a place where I can do like a membership. Like I'm a membership type of girl, you know what I mean? Like I need the accountability to know them. I'm already paying for it because it'll keep me accountable to go.

I'm like that with workout classes. Like if I wasn't going to be charged the cancellation fee, I would probably cancel off the classes. 100%.

“That's why I tend to make it to Plotty's most every single time”

because if you think I'm trying to pay $20 on top of the membership fee that I'm already paying. So that's what gets me there. So I found this skincare place that you can go in once a month and get a custom facial, a hydrophacial, chemical peel.

Like whatever you want to do for facial stuff. And then you get a B12 shot and it's like one membership fee. So when did that yesterday have a dentist appointment coming up? So I'm like, I'm going to have clean teeth because I think I've decided instead of the veneers,

I'm going to go the invisiline route. So that's in progress. Bleaching my hair out on Monday. Yeah, I saw that you have a three hour leaching appointment. I know, you text me about that.

And I'm like, 'cause I was trying to schedule a podcast and I'm like, what are you doing in the hair salon

Here's the launch it.

Like do you understand how long?

So I don't think that people realize like how dark my hair naturally is.

“So it takes quite some time for it to live.”

Is it the same color as your eyebrows? Oh, yeah, maybe a little bit darker. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it takes quite some time to live.

But then, you know, I also do all the add-ons. So it's like, I get in there and I do the extreme color change. And then I'm like, oh, but I need a treatment. And then I need a trim and then I need a blowout and process.

Okay? So it's an all day event. I just want to let you guys know Lindsay almost did a podcast recording in the hair salon. Like, I did today.

And I'm like, no, we can do another day.

Like, she's like, no, let's do it. I'm like, no, we can move it another day. So I'm like, well, I have to have as my laptop, like, but I'm just thinking like hair dryer, like your hair is up here.

“And we're just like, yeah, so my baby daddy, like, no.”

But would it have you like a cool concept, kind of, to just do a podcast and hair salon? Because I feel like so much shit actually happens in a hair salon. Like, the amount of stuff that I hear it.

So actually go to a salon suite to a girl who does my color and caught an extension then stuff now. But when I used to go to a hair salon, I loved going because like the lure of the hair salon. And like, all of the people's problems that are around you.

And when it's like, okay, I'm not praying on you, but it makes me feel better about my life. (laughs) It's the same thing at like the nail salon. Like, oh my gosh, one time I was getting my nails done

and this woman was just like telling all of her trauma and I'm like, my life isn't that about actually thinking. Oh, people trauma down, like, places like that. So yeah, I have a hair appointment next week to start the process and not putting my extensions in

until April before I come to Delaware. Then slightly crashed out thinking that I was gonna be going from Delaware. I don't know why I thought May and April were the same time. You thought you were gonna go from Delaware to LA?

I thought I was going, I don't know why my mind went like that. I'm like, so let me get this correct and like I was not tracking. I'm like, so I'm going from Delaware and I'm coming home for a couple of days.

And then I'm going to LA and I'm gonna be in LA for a couple of days. And then I'm coming home for a couple of days and then I'm going to New York for a couple of days. Like, is this right?

And hunters like, no. No, like we're talking about two separate months. Oh, man. So I love that for me. And then let's see, what else, oh,

I'm starting a meal prep on Sundays. Wow, okay, glow up, okay, self-care. What do we meal prepping? Well, actually it's not just me. We're gonna have a girls, and when I say girls,

it's a girl in the gay, the girl in the... You know, the girl in the gay. We're gonna have little pow-wow sessions, mental health checks on Sunday. And we're probably gonna find a reality TV show

to watch and have one in the background, probably drinks some per seco. Love that he knows how to grill and knows how to use a stove, 'cause I don't really use mine.

But we're thinking bowls, like, a Mexican version of a bowl, like a Mediterranean bowl. And maybe like an Asian. - Okay, I have a question for you. How many days, 'cause it's like meal prepping, yes,

but also it's leftovers.

“How many days can something be in a fridge for leftovers?”

'Cause I got into a debate about this with my girlfriend the other day, 'cause I was eating, I was like, she's like, what did you eat for dinner? And I'm like, oh, this pasta, she's like, you had that pasta, you made that pasta four days ago.

It's bad, I'm like, oh, I like, think so. - Okay, Madison, I'm thinking I'm more in line with her, so it's weird, because what I was married, will use to meal prep for us. I think every Sunday or Monday,

and I used to talk about it on coffee combos, he made like taco bowls, and it was the easiest thing ever. And he would make enough for our weekly lunches. For some reason, because I was like meal prepped in my kitchen, and I know when it was cooked,

I'm fine with eating it for like lunch for the work week. - Mm-hmm. - But if it was leftover from a restaurant? - Okay. - Number one, I'm probably not bringing you home

in the first place, but if I did, because I loved it so much,

that's like a next day thing, or yeah.

Oh, that you cooked. - Yeah, I think that's fine, four days, I did that time. - Yeah, exactly. - No, from a restaurant, like, maybe I'm having it the next day, like, but it's more like the guilt

that I have leftovers over the food that I just paid for, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go eat it,

probably not, like, he always try when I go out

with girlfriends and stuff, I'm like, can we do like splits? He's like, can we get like a couple of apps and split? Because I do not, I really did not grow up on leftovers, and people are gonna say, oh, that's a champagne problem. No, my dad just like, did not like leftovers,

so Julie always cooked like every single night, a new meal. Wow, we didn't do leftovers. So, didn't grow up on that, don't love it.

“You should drive me nuts whenever I was married to Will,”

because that man would eat something that was in their refrigerator for two weeks, and not think twice about it. - Oh, two weeks is way too long. - Absolutely not.

But okay, what do we think about saving like half of a sub sandwich? And then the bread's all soggy. - I was gonna say, I can't do it if the bread is soggy. I can't do it.

Then just like wrap it up to say, lost cause.

I can't get behind it. And there are people who also do not like leftovers that will bring them home, put them in their fridge, and then throw them away. I'm like, you could have just missed that entire step.

That's such a waste of time. - So I think I'm going to start filming our Sundays, like our Sunday hangs, you know? And show the things that were meal prepping. Thank God, Hunter knows how to cook,

because like, it's just not in my role of decks of things that I number one love to do, or that I'm not necessarily really good at. Like I'm good at both the power washing department. I absolutely, when I tell you,

that I can all wait for tomorrow to come, because I have two dusty ass porches that need to be cleaned off so bad. And I'm trying to figure out, okay, so people who have porches that put rugs on their porches,

like, how do you clean those? The rugs? Yeah, like rugs on the porch. They're like outdoor rugs, but I mean, debris gets on it.

I'm sure, like, Paulins on it, dirty take care to like an old school laundry mat, or do we pressure wash it? I feel like pressure wash it, because it's not like, it needs like a deep,

it's not like an indoor carpet, right,

“where you need to like get a stain out per se.”

So I would say pressure wash it, but I don't know. But see, the pressure washer, and this is, this is the problem that I have, and it's probably because I'm not a professional, but I love doing it.

I'll get to close sometimes, and then you like start seeing the lines where certain areas are cleaner than others, and it's like, okay, now the rug needs to be thrown away. Because I'm going to hyper fixate,

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It's so crazy to happen to me this week. So hunters here, and I was at Pilates. I come home and he's like, you got to check it.

He's like, sun pass. Sir, no, I did not.

Like, what are you talking about?

That's one of those scams. And you just put my credit card information on that. No, it was not a scam, it was my actual vehicle. Oh, you went to Florida. I went to Florida, but not in the dates that they said

that was on the ticket. It said I was in Florida on February the 23rd. That's when it said that the photo was taken. I was not in Florida on February 23rd. I was in Florida in December.

What? Yes. So how did they-- it was at your license plate? It was my license plate.

It was my vehicle. It literally looked like the photo. I wish I, I still had it, but he threw it away. The photo of my car looked like I was getting away

from something like a crime.

OK. So how do you fight that? If you weren't in the, like, what's this? You need $1,000, like, a toll. It said it was a toll.

“I don't want to remember going through a toll.”

I'm sure I probably did, like, that probably have a ticket because I don't remember doing it. But I'm just, like, how are you out here telling people that they were in a state that they weren't in on those states?

At that point, like, stop trying to take my $13 and just call it a wash. Like, you don't even know when I was there. Wait, that's crazy. Isn't that crazy?

That's crazy. And so he was like, I need-- he was, like, secondary. I need to know where your internet router is. And I'm like, what?

And he's like, you're router. I said, yeah, I know. But like, my what? Yeah. You have what?

Yeah. So I take him into my office. And I show him the extenders. Is it not what they're called? Like, the Wi-Fi extenders, yeah.

Yeah. So I have to have two extenders in this house. Because I don't know why. They just extend it. I can't only go so far.

Yeah. Do you know that I still have not-- this was on Tuesday, I believe. I still have not located set router. Like, if I was a router, where would I be?

I would guess, like, maybe under your TV. Like, a lot of people do it under there. No? We've looked everywhere.

“Do you remember when they were setting up”

internet in your house? No. I was going through a breakup. And I guess I just blacked out. Like, have you ever had trauma in your life?

Were you go through, like, long period of time? And you're like, I remember nothing from that time period. Oh, I don't. Yeah. I have patches of my life where I'm like, don't remember at all.

Also, I learned that SSRIs, if you are off of them, like, you don't take them consistently. And like, you miss a couple days, whatever. It can fuck with your memory. Which tracks?

What? Yes. Wait, are you on an SSRI? Yeah. OK, so I had a bad reaction to an SSRI.

So I don't know. Obviously, you've listened to Coffee Compost because you're on the air. But I was telling Kiel that my intrusive thought, like, time period after I had Jackson, I'm like,

I need to go to the doctor and like, get on something because this is going to take me out.

Like, these thoughts are never stopping.

So doctor is like, OK, I'm going to put you on a SSRI. And like, we're going to try it. Whatever, please tell me why I woke up. And I felt like bugs were crawling on me. Oh, no.

So I don't know if that's like an allergy. I don't know if like, I don't want to go back to my medical records to see because I actually found a new therapist this week that I'm meeting with Tomaro and I'm super excited about it. Did not realize how much that I missed therapy.

And now that I've reached the crash out phase, I'm like, I really need to get back in to doing that. So I'm really excited because it's going to be like an in-person situation. Yes, she is. I was looking on my calendar because I was like,

“oh, I thought I had something tomorrow and I'm like, what is this?”

You're like, am I getting lindy therapy? You're like, I did not sit on it. Yeah, I was like really confused. It's like Madison therapy and I was like, huh? She's like, you were like, wait, it's lindy putting me in therapy.

I thought it was like some type of session and I was like, huh? Yeah, so I have my initial intake with her tomorrow. And it's like a 15 minute intake and I was telling Hunter, I'm like, Mr. Sir, like, I'm not sure that 15 minutes that I can't, no. Like, trauma dump, like, I don't think I can trauma dump that fast on all of the things

But I'm excited because I've always done virtual therapy,

which I think is a great option. And it worked to me, definitely through the divorce process, trying to figure out like when I was going to have Jackson when I wasn't being able to work, like having the flexibility of being able to be at home. But now my mindset's like totally different.

I want to go into a therapy office so that I can leave that stuff there. Yeah, does that make sense instead of it being like in my house, and I never escape it?

Yeah, I feel like also so much of your job is virtual.

So it would be great for some things to be in person and not on a screen. And you could feel emotion and like, just have that physical space for yourself. So I'm really excited about it. She kind of does like a plethora of different types of therapy services, so couples, individual, family, children, 10 and up.

“I think, and also EMDR, which is something that I have considered doing.”

I'm just a little bit fearful, and I think that I need to get like some therapy with a new therapist under my belt before I dip my toes into EMDR. I don't know why I'm so scared to do that. What exactly is it? What is EMDR?

Yeah, I've heard of it, but let me see. Well, I want to read the so it's called EMDR. I movement decensitate D, since I, how do you say that word? Desensitization. Yeah, it's such a marvelous word, okay. And reprocessing a structured psychotherapy that helps people heal from traumatic memories and PTSD by using bilateral

stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping to reduce the emotional intensity of distressing events. And it says that operates in eight phases focusing on reprocessing memories, rather than detailed verbal narration. I think that would be something that would be helpful for me. I just don't really like trying new things, but I plan to talk to her about it because I have two girlfriends that I follow on Instagram, mom bloggers that were just posting about EMDR

like this past week. So I'm like, wait, is that like the universe sign that like I need to

“do it in EMDR? Maybe, I think it's just hard. Like you have to put yourself in feel that trauma”

like relive it essentially, right? And how do you know when you're ready? I don't think it's like you ever tell you? I don't know. I don't think you ever know that you're ready. I think there's a point where it's like, okay, if you're going to do this therapy, yes, it will be traumatic, but will you hurt yourself like her others by doing it? Yes, now, okay, now then maybe you're qualified for something like that? Because I imagine like people with like, you know,

major PTSD, it would really be helpful for them if it's like affecting your day-to-day functioning. That's when you... Oh, it definitely affects my day-to-day functioning for, for dang sure. And I don't know, like, I don't know how it's going to make me feel. I don't think I've actually ever been into a therapist office before other than doing virtual, so I think that would just be like a whole different kind of experience, but after the last thing that I went through with David, I think it

unlocked like a lot of stuff for whatever reason. And then I just felt like the world was crashing. And so I know that you and I kind of talked behind the scenes about doing an episode discussing like shall we call it the downfall of David? Mm-hmm. And I definitely want to do that, but I also want to be in a place to where I can respectfully do that in not out of a place of anger. 100%. Although, out of yourself, we're going back to therapy. Like a lot of people are

scared to take that first step and like go back, because you could have just been like, up, my therapist squid on me, I'm done. I'm like one more. But I just, I mean, there's a lot of

“things that I want to talk about. I think that that situation would David unlocked a bunch of stuff”

that like, I really haven't dealt with. And I'm kind of living my life like, oh, well, if I just keep ignoring those things, then eventually they'll just go away. And then after that happened,

it's like, I was dealing with emotions of stuff that I had never even cried about before. So I'm

like, okay, like, I definitely therapy is calling and I need to go. I don't know when I'm going to be ready to talk about the David stuff. Like, I think you'll know when you're ready. You'll feel it. Like, it could be, you know, whatever. I mean, like, there's no

because you said you only did virtual therapy. Yeah. You ever do therapy as a kid? Like,

when your parents got divorced, did you ever do therapy? Really? Never. Did you? I did. I did

like one session, but I was young. So it was just more so like a thing through the court. But then I remember when I was 16, I was like really, really depressed. And my dad got a therapist through insurance. And it's like, before the era of like online therapy, better held over. So it was in this church. And like, very odd, very traumatic. She's just, it was like, no hate to anybody that's super religious, but that's just like not how I was raised really in a super religious household.

But she was just telling me, like, God would get rid of my anxiety. And I'm like, well, I don't think so. Like, it's just here. Like, I'm not doing anything. It's like you can pray it away. Yeah,

basically. Yeah. When it's like, I came a climb down to my brain, which I learned. So I just lied

actually, I have been in a therapist office now that you just said that about like the church. So when I was going through my mirror door struggle for the first time around back in 2016, 2017, I went to my pastor and had a conversation. I was like, are there any like good therapist through the church services and stuff like that that we can go to? Maybe like a religious-based one would be best. We went to a couple of sessions there. And I don't know, like, to each their own,

but to your point, there are certain things that maybe I just wasn't ready for the religious aspect of that to be a part of my journey. And so once I realized that, I was like, yeah,

“like, this is just, this is never going to work. I think it's just an added layer for me.”

That's not really needed in therapy. Like, I don't need to be religion into my mental health, personally. It's like my mental health needs to be my mental health and my walk with the Lord needs to be like on its own journey. And so I can completely agree with that. I honestly think that will and I probably would have had a greater chance if we wouldn't have tried to mix religion in that process because it's also somewhat shameful for some of the stuff that's like

some of the stuff that we were discussing in those therapy sessions were like very normal for humans to do. Yeah. But you felt like there was a lot of shame that religion. Yeah. Yeah.

“Yeah. And so that was like really, really difficult. But no, we never, well, I think my brother,”

my brother went through therapy when my parents divorced, but I never did. But again, that

kind of speaks to where I'm at now because I was, you would have never known when I was growing up, like anything was ever wrong. It was just kind of like, okay, head down. I'm going to do what I'm told this will all go away. I don't need to address this. And now at 36 years old with a 13-year-old child, multiple field relationships, I'm like, okay, I probably should have been doing this when I was six. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And it's great that you're realizing it now because so many people

don't ever realize their patterns, how the group is unhealthy. And you're realizing that and you're

“like, okay, well, I don't want my son to grow up thinking this way. No. Yeah, you should be very”

proud of yourself to recognize those patterns. Well, thank you so much. I want to watch this viral cheating video. Okay. You feel like it, it like fits, you know? Yeah, it's, it's kind of insane. It's kind of insane. Okay. It's literally better not be about me. It's not about you. Like, if Madison, if you do that to me today, no, it's this lady. Madison, I have to, you had to see that video. Diabolical, right? It is crazy, but I feel like it's so common. I feel like

people will just like lie to lay down. You know? No. It's so crazy. But like, what a girl's girl. A girl's girl. And I wish that girl was my friend. I actually really realized how some girls can be such girls. Girls when I just went through my most current situation. It's like, why do men think that they're like getting a leg up on somebody?

a little bit smarter. We'll always know what's going on before you even. And it's also like,

when they give certain details of stuff like that video that we just watched. Okay. I'm going out with the guys and we're giving specific people that you're going out with. Okay. So now we're all of those people looped in to your liar. They unaware because now I'm going to start texting them to be like, oh, hey, hope you'll have a good guy's day. And it's like, what? Oh, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Like, I feel like I couldn't, I could not be her. I could not do it. And I also

if, if some girls sent me a message like that. Number one, I'm immediately calling. Number two,

I don't give a shit about the setup at that point because I know exactly what you're trying to do.

And I'm not playing that. It's just so crazy. And now she has her own business like doing this for

“people. Like, she created like, she did. She literally did. I think this video popped off so much”

so she did like a couple requests and she's like, hey, guys, you can like fill out my Google form to like see if you're man's cheating. Loyalty test. I need it. Well, I honestly like brilliant business move, but like, brilliant business move, but like also the amount of trauma that's involved in that, the trauma and the drama. I know. I know. Um, do you want to do a voicemail or two? Yes, I do.

Okay. I am a biomer. I share my daughter who is almost 16 with my ex. We have a really good

relationship and still could, but his wife is awful in search herself, into everything. And just just really complicated situations. And she's an instigator behind my back. She'll say, things to my daughter. Like, oh, your mom just got back to us when it's been like five minutes

“or your mom never tells us anything. When I tell them everything, they just don't write anything”

down or keep track of anything. I'm definitely the one who manages everything. And when we're getting along, that's all good and great because I don't want to do anything, but when they're mad at me for whatever reason, now all of a sudden, I'm controlling just a really fucking funny. But what do you do? How do you handle a step on who is awful and brings down the dynamic? And when your daughter thinks behind her back, your back is to make her think that you're the villain.

So I feel like there's so many ways that I could go with this because I've had to learn over a period of time and just trial and error in probably time that their certain relationships my son's going to have with people that I'm not necessarily going to have, right? And

“you have to be at a place and I know it's so hard for so many people that when you separate”

or you divorce or, you know, you've moved on and your ex-partner has picked a new partner. You have to trust like what's going on in that house and trust the person that you were with to vet that entire situation and I don't understand it because I feel like I went through such a place of I don't want will to necessarily be with anybody but like I don't want to be with them, you know what I mean? I feel like there's like a lot of emotions that are mixed up in that and then

when you mix a child into that and it's like okay I don't want will to be with anybody but I don't want to be with them but I also don't want to hit around somebody else like there are so many emotions in situations like that and this specific situation the daughter sounds like she's 16 years old so there's really not much time left although two years could probably seem like a lifetime of your dealing with stuff like this. He'll need a good point to say like once your kids get to a certain age

communicate with them like do a shared calendar where everything's on there so you don't necessarily have to communicate right so all of Jackson's events and stuff your will put it on the calendar if it's like on his time or I put it on the calendar if it's on my time and it's all visible right there and a shared calendar and it makes it so easy I was talking to one of my guy friends not too long ago and he went through a divorce but their situation was very

impossible and he was showing me this app that he and his ex wife used and he's like it's it's

to win and that step mom's gonna have her side of the story you're gonna have your side of the

story and the truth lies somewhere there in the middle but at some point you do just have to say like your obligation is not to her and her obligation is not necessarily to you it's to your

“your ex and to the relationship that they have with your daughter so I think like shared calendar”

shared calendar and I think try to keep those conversations in that conflict away from the daughter as much as possible. Did your parents have any issues like that at all? I mean like not to out my dad's stuff but he was engaged just like a plethora of times like

I couldn't tell you how many like women at some point I got introduced and he was not afraid

of commitment. Yeah it was like all time this might girlfriend this might be I'm like at a certain point like even after I moved around at the house he dated maybe this is over span of eight years like two women right what I met them I was like okay and that's like are you excited I was like well I know they're not around so like all like geeky with them but like I don't know I'll be cordial but I don't know it's such a situation with step parents and like bio parents it's such a

sticky thing because in one hand I'm like I need to directly be communicating with will like that to I had our child with so I need to be directly communicating with him but if the relationship is

respectful with the other person I probably at this point I don't feel like I've always felt this way

but at this point in my life if will brought somebody else into his life and they were a decent kind loving human being I would probably feel more comfortable communicating with the woman and not will because you would almost understand her more than him yes you guys would go because I've been in

“situations before and I think this is also been a part of my change of perspective because I've”

dated people with children and seen me being like the outsider in that situation and there are a lot of times that that is like a debilitating feeling when you see stuff going on and you're just like what the fuck is it like can people not be normal and so I think that that changed my minds that a lot of like that other person isn't the enemy and certain situations they could be right because it could have been like an affair partner or whatever but I would say probably for the majority of

people that's not the situation so I'm not going to treat somebody like an enemy that I might enemy very true I think do you want to do one more yeah okay we'll do one more forgot to say this is distorted so I did this is distorted yeah okay distorted so it's a woman speaking but it's really distorted so just okay fair worm of the voice I'm just kidding the family works with and who was so polite and I and whatever was in different cities until for six months in and

who wanted me to start calling her Christy and you wanted to call me a boy thing Jenny and he

“wanted to dress up in the boy and put on a big white children and stuck him up here and I think it”

was strategic but he wanted until six months because at that point I'm like Eric's having busted and I need it to know this person when he thinks that you do and I'm like don't sure make sure oh no with that oh what did he do that um then it's normal he wanted to start taking hormones um I don't have any questions because he I went through a song he would find you so I'm like Craig with and his apple would be wrong and it went for me and I was like I think you

don't just go on down the street and get your fuck off get your fuck off get your fuck off whatever they say with the boy and it cannot be me anymore and now it's crazy he's like Mary would kiss and I'm like this is me and she's with and with the help of her thing like I have a little piano to be from it just like me having to dress up and like in an air suit and tie while he's in the bathroom doing when I'm talking and the month I used to walk him with a 12 inch white

I'm taking it to the grave but if you get any signs you're gonna go like that you've got to run

your way to the shield to make something anywhere either you're dating you're not you're by but only the my plan which are places I've ever been in my room looking down with this single-point thing okay I'm not meaning to laugh but it's just like it's crazy it is crazy like the way that she was saying it and then the distorted voice kind of like took me for a loop number one I think that people need to understand that if you are in any type of situation and

you are doing something that you're uncomfortable with regardless of the amount of time that you have

invested don't do it I think that's like number one number two to say oh well I think it was

like strategic to wait for six months to do this no for six months you evidently lived a lie I'm but don't steal but like for six months you lived a lie if that was ever my situation and someone said I'm dressing up in a suit and tie and I am pegging them I am pegging them with large dick and then I found on their phone that they were doing shady stuff on Craigslist and their but hole was raw I got to go like I got to go like I have to see

my way out yeah because what do you mean your but hole's raw and like how did it what do you mean that she was putting on a strap lensy what do you mean what do you mean could you imagine oh and what podcast did I say I think it was on coffee conference with kill I'm like okay in that situation I can't be upset because I cannot compete with a dick no you know so if like my parts ain't what you looking for then that's optional

no yeah I got it and it's truly it's not a personal situation like what's personal to me at

“this point as you have been boozeled me that's what's personal and I don't want to be involved in”

a situation like that I I also would be taken out if that situation happened to me and then I'm just like randomly scrolling on Facebook and see that person is married with now wife and children because what do you mean yeah talk about not speaking your truth holy shit wow can't but if anybody wants to leave us a voicemail for listener advice or just you want to spill the tea like this person dick is this person to leave nothing out and um do not

forget if you want to submit a question ask for advice or just spill some tea you can call our southern tea hotline at nine two nine three three three six three eight six and you can leave your message and we might play it on the show thanks so much for joining me today Madison I am now since everybody I just told my entire business on this episode I am now going to the nail salon I'm getting these rusty dusty nails taken off and then I'm going to the cat wax so the cat wax period

“one of them yeah glow cat wax more happened that's what I'm doing for the rest of the afternoon”

and thank you guys so much for joining us this week if you have not subscribed to the show you can

do that from any podcast app wherever you get your pods always first at podcast one we hope you

guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon bye with movies like interstellar dream girls and gladiator I'm TV shows like survivor SpongeBob Squarepants the fairly odd parent and ghost Pluto TV is always free hi I'm Stasi Schroeder on my podcast I share candid updates from my personal life chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives give commentary on the latest

pop culture headlines and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with like human

“design it's a bit all over the place but that's how I like it and you will too listen to my podcast”

Stasi wherever you get your podcasts.