#657 - Bobby Lee - Free Transcript | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, a podcaster,

and one of the heroes of my heart is beautiful little leechy.

You know, he's my good friend, and I'm so thankful to spend time with him. Today's guest is Mr. Bobby Lee. ♪ Shine on me ♪ ♪ And probably we'll find a small ♪ ♪ I'll escape and I'll search for you ♪

♪ Oh no, no leave that on the shit's tough dude. ♪ It is, okay. Sorry, it's heavy. Dude, you look a Daniel day Lewis a little bit. Thank you.

“Dude, you look like Edo is apple, do you mean dude?”

You think so? Yeah, dude. Bring up Edo's apple. You know what Edo looks like though? Just in the dick, you mean, huh?

No, your dick is medium. Fair. So, I have, no, I got that limited cock. You got limited cock, dude. Yeah, dude.

One and a half bars, bro. That's it on this one, man. That's a minion, dude. Yeah, you got that minion dick, dude. Oh, I like that party as fuck, bro.

Hey, hard worker. They do. Yeah, they're, they're very hard worker. They have overall goggles. Yeah, bro.

If your winters go in with goggles, it's a good thing. You're a champ. You're a champ, champ. Hey. Hey, dude.

I can't say that. But here's the rule. You could say it. I could say it. That's my rule here.

Well, I can say what? Oh, oh, oh. What can I say? Oh, please. Please, please, please, guys.

Dude, bro. Good to see you, man.

“Let me get, let me just get in my zone, guy.”

Okay. Yeah.

You want to pray first, wait.

I'm happy to pray if you want. Can I start? Yeah, you want to pray? Yeah, do we have the whole hands? No.

We can buy that. If you can put our hands wherever you want. It will get warmer and you know it's cold. Yeah, it's really cold. I feel like an Eskimo right now, though.

They're charging us more for heat. I think he is real is doing it. Yeah, it is real is definitely doing a lot of things. I mean, they're like, what do they do do? What do they do do?

What do they do do? They do do do do do do. You want to say, you want to say? Yeah, um, you want to say a prayer, man. You want to lead a ceremony?

Yeah. But, you know, when I do prayers, dog, look at me first before we Game and get into it. Yeah, for sure, man. I don't like getting interrupted.

Okay. So I like to finish what my prayer is going to be. You know what I mean? And it may go long. Okay. Yeah.

No, dude, I'm just happy to be here. We did it, man. I love it.

You're going to give me a hug first.

That's the truth, bro. When the streets call me, bro. When the streets call you, they call me. You know what I mean? We have the same collar.

Yeah. You're having a lift. Hold on. What do you need? Right?

What are you doing? Well, sorry. Bear dick. That's your new name, dude. Bear dick.

Can you give it to him? Really? Oh. Love your time. Bear dick.

What do you mean? Yeah. He loves it, dude. He loves it. Yeah. He loves the chunk faster factor.

You know what I mean? Because if I was gay guy, you know what I mean? You know what I've done some stuff. Like what do you talk? Like what do you mean, man?

I've lived a couple. No. Yeah. Just like, I just want, I want to know the flavor. Oh, yeah.

What happened? What do you mean what happened? Or like, what's the flavor? Or yeah. I don't want to know.

Yeah. A salty pool. What do you mean? What part do you like the top of the bottom? Licking the bottom?

Yeah. That's gay. Licking the top, dude. And gay. It's just taste.

I mean, I don't know. No, it's Omakasa. You ever go to Omakasa restaurant? You don't know what you're going to get. Dude.

That's what I'm doing. Right? And sometimes, dude, it's like, I go to Omakasa with my girl. Right?

“And there's certain things she just, I go, you have to eat it.”

You know what I mean? Like, we went to, you know, I've been in the jungle. Well, have you been? I did not know that. Yeah, I've been in the jungle.

I mean, I know his story. But look at my face. Yeah. What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you mean? What do you mean, historically?

That's me, like, over. Yeah. I'm not, no. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. That there's no jungles in Korea, dog. I don't know. When you say history, you do know. I'm saying history.

I mean, you've been watching Platoon. You've been watching, you know what I mean? All kinds of movies like Hamburger Hill, Letters, Evo, Jima. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, dessert, jungle. You look cheap. It's a good, it is a good movie. It just gives Clint Eastwood a run of applause. Did he make that?

I think so, dude. I think he made it. I don't even know that. He made it when it was 116 years old. He made it.

So anyway, I've been in the jungle. And when I see jungle, I mean, why Kiki?

Are you out there?

I didn't go in hit, but I saw it.

Bro, what were you doing out there? Dude, I was doing all kinds of shit out there. We didn't. I was doing, no, I go out there if it vacation. And so, you know, there's a lot of cool Omakasay restaurants there.

Okay.

“And what is Omakasay for people that don't know it?”

Do you know it? I think so. Well, then tell me about it. I think so. Tell me, could I help you?

You fucking know, dog. Omakasay. We'll only sound it out. Omakasay. Which is Omakasay.

Which is Omakasay in Korean is Mom. Mom. Yeah. And Kasey is a house. Oh, I'm a house.

Okay. Yeah. No, I don't know what Omakasay stands for, but I know what it is. Okay, Omakasay. Okay, so do you know what it is?

I do not. Okay. So Omakasay restaurant is, it's a set menu. Yeah. Right.

And they feed you in order. You know what? You're going to get from beginning to end. In generally my rule, if I'm with a date. You know, I have a girlfriend now.

What? Yeah, I do. Whoa. What's happening, dudes? So what are you going to do?

You're not going to do what I do, dude. You know, what's one of my doing right now, dude? Why are you doing if you have a girlfriend? No, I'm killing myself. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's Omakasay. Yeah. Yeah. I took my son when I killed him.

That's something the hard dog. Okay. I'm using jerk and all. Yeah. Yeah.

“You got to do it 21 times a month, though.”

That's what I heard. Master rate ejaculate. No. Yeah. Because you'll get, um, um, tasticular cancer.

No. Oh, yeah. There's guys that, like some people, their eyes go bad or whatever. Like mine. Huh?

Hello. Anyway. Omakasay is this. You have a set. You look like a bug that played for the red hat.

She'll be back for the right answer. You look. What? I look good. Yeah.

Because it's like, um, set menu. So we went to one place. You look like a fireman, like in San Francisco. Kind of like a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. I do. But I was over. I was in the fire. Yeah.

Right. You just said something like that. I got lost. And I'm like in the fire. I don't know what to do.

That type. Yeah. Yeah. And you're probably just a mouthful of water. Yeah.

That's the gayest thing you'd. If you, if you're at a fire and a, like, kind of a gay firefire. Yeah. It's just, like, it's just spitting water out of his mouth. Whatever.

Whatever. Yeah. Anyway, um, live finish with the Omaha's thing and get to my point dog. Sorry, did I'm in a rough. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I do want to pray. So I do, we'll do the prayer later. Doug Mai is officially mayor of Chinatown.

Chinatown. Chinatown. Let's go. Can I finish my Omaha's or? Yeah.

What are we doing? What are we doing? We're just bringing up our first place. I don't understand that. But we're going into a thing and then you bring up some Chinese firefighter.

He brought that shit up. Yeah. So the, barredick did that. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you're not barredick? Oh, yeah, yeah. What are you? Premiumic. Nick was a premature baby and the capari is going on.

Oh, yeah. Did everything get mature? I think by skull size is a little small. Yeah. I can go.

Yeah.

Anyway, he's 32 years old, but he held never hit nine months.

Yeah. So that's it. And we had this. Let's be forget, bro. That's we forget, dude.

We're at. So we're at this restaurant. And they gave us the bones of a fish. And they flavored it like it was a potato chip. But he had the, like the eyes and the brain, but just the bones of the fish.

No. And you had to eat it, right? And it's like, um, I ate it. And I looked at her. I got you just got to eat it, right?

So when a penis comes out, you kissed the tip. Oh, yeah. That's basically what I, yeah. What? That's why.

Well, that's what I told you before. That when I said that, um, I've kissed the tip of a penis. You know what I mean? What do you mean? Well, why do you keep doing that?

It just makes it back in my neck. I know, but it's just, it's a flavor thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

“That's how we got into the Omaha something.”

It's a flavor thing. Yeah. Well, if you went to Omaha, saw, whatever they gave you, you'd eat it, right? Try it. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a glory hole for food or whatever. Like yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A glory hole for food. Well, it's like whatever's in there. That's what you get.

That's what you get. Yeah. Yeah. Give you, you just, I just eat because it's supposed to be like, you know, I mean, elegant or you know, I mean,

avant-garde. Yeah. It's abstine class. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like off the abstine tasting menu, whatever. Yeah.

It's just like young fish or whatever. Sorry. Let's move on. Let's move on. We'll take that out.

Yeah. Yeah. Let me take that out.

But, um, so basically, um, I don't know how I got into the pp thing,

but let's do a prayer. Okay. No, but you said you had tasted a little wainer or something. Or you had a little years ago, I tasted the tip. And one.

Was it on a, what type of person was it on? Color? Yeah. Yeah. Or style.

Color. Can we go style? Yeah, style. Rave. Oh, at a rave.

No, a rave her.

A rave her.

Yeah. So you just took a nip off a little raveer when? Yeah. Yeah. What you do?

Yeah. Yeah. Glostix. Yeah. You'd have glow sticks.

Right? Oh, and then you would. Right? And then you're here. Every once in a while.

They just come out, right? And you take a little taste of the salty tip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's cultural. So basically, you've been a couple major laser shows as what you're saying. Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying. Just say it.

Yeah. You never kissed a tip. Oh, no, man. Yeah. Yeah.

“I mean, I've definitely, I remember when I was a child.”

You always try to get a real close gander at your own winger.

You know, I don't know something language to do. But I'm just saying private to me. Like I'm sure if you're a kid, a lot of young. We can't tell what children we're. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of people that haven't grown up fully. We'll try to like. I've never tried it. We'll try to just get. Yeah.

I never tried it. I have. I never got. Yeah. I had been raised with yoga.

Right. And I could bend that way. You know what I mean? Like I had like, you know what I mean? A master.

Yeah. As a kid. You know what I mean? You know, we have to strengthen your spine. Yeah.

You go, why a master? Right. So one day you can kiss your own tip. Oh, right. Like I never had that master.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fuck karate. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Also in the UFC, you never say he's a karate guy.

Right. Right. It's always to jitsu, right? Yeah. Or boxing or a kickboxing, right?

Yeah. It's never like it's ever tai chi. Yeah. No one's out there. You have to see doing tai chi.

Right. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you know.

Yeah. It's never one of his credits. He's like, his mom wanted him to be able to defend himself. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Rarely you see tick window when you have seen. Right. Kickboxers, um, jitsu guys, wrestlers. What is some of this stuff?

Nick knows actually. So let's get a Nick on that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he named all the big ones.

There's a few select karate guys. Steven Wonderboy Thompson, MVP. Yeah. But jitsu and Taikwondo.

“I think are the biggest from traditional martial arts.”

From traditional.

But generally, it's wrestling.

Kickboxing boxing, right? 100%. I think. All the way is like the one the best striker with his hands in the biz. Mm-hmm.

You know, I mean, so what's up? You didn't even know who he is. I do his next always. He's actually, he was right. He lives and trains where you were just.

Right. No. And why kicky? And I smelled his essence around me. Did you see him?

No. I called him to see if he wanted it. You know what I mean? But he was going through something. Yeah.

You know, as fighters do. Dear Heavenly Father. Okay. You want to pray? Let's do it.

What? I just started. Okay. Sorry. Dear Heavenly Father.

Lord and Savior. Father of all. Thank you so much. Okay. Of the gratitude.

Of the fish, fish, and the sea. Amen. And the deep fish. Like the Greenland shark. Who lives 500 years?

500 years ago. Does he really? Sorry. Go on. No.

See, that's what I'm talking about. I forgot. What do you mean? Look at me right now, Dad. No, just look at me right now, Dad.

Can I massage in the prayer? Yeah.

“Because the person stopped because you were up to it.”

All right. Don't do that. All right. Greenland shark. All right.

Thank you for the trees, nature. Thank you so much for the war. What war do you mean, son? The war within my heart. You know?

The war that I want to start with theo. Because I did one line in his movie. And he put me on the fucking phone poster. That's my priority. Sorry.

Yeah. I mean, as if I was in the movie, he put me straight up in the middle of a movie poster. Dear Lord, when I had one fucking life. Sorry for crying, Lord. But I'm very angry.

I have a war in my heart. It's. Yeah. Yeah. You know, one line.

No, I'm not done. Right. I also had a patch over my face. You know, Lord, please give me the forgiveness. You know, man, and the solitude and the confinement and the love for Theo.

Amen. Amen. Yeah. Oh, thank you, God. God, boys.

Go watch it. You're a little bit. That's dreaming. Streaming and streaming. You know, man.

First of all. No, no. First of all, what? First of all. No.

First of all, what? Let me tell you something, buto. I'm gonna take my glasses off, dude. Okay. Let me tell you something, buto.

I'll take my fucking beginning off. You will? Yeah. All right. All right.

I'm gonna put this down.

All right. All right.

Why is this has over there?

I don't know. This one's over here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then pick that one. Let me tell you something, buto.

All right. Okay. I'm not afraid of you. We're friends. Yeah, we're deep.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were in the war. Okay. Yes, we were.

Yeah, we was, right? This hat gives me, like, gold. Gone with the wind vibes.

“This has to give me gold with the wind vibe.”

Oh, okay. Or gone with the nins. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, you spell that word in you.

NGUYN. No, it is a spell it out. NGUYNs. NGUYNs. NGUYN.

The most common Vietnamese. Last name. It's her name, yeah. Yeah, NGUYN. NGUYN.

Yeah. Oh, it's how they say it in NGUYN. Okay.

Well, but also a lot of people look that up.

A lot of black people, if they're asking, like, like, like, if something's going to happen, they'll say that. What do you mean? What do you mean? That NGUYN.

Yeah. Like, what's that NGUYN? No. Oh. Oh.

You'll be like, dude, are we going on or not? And you'll be like, yeah. NGUYN. Oh, I see. Don't you think, right?

Yeah. I've never heard that. You know what I mean? But as you know, what was that party like? I mean, that was NGUYN like a motherfucker.

No, that's not it. I don't know what he uses. That's racial. That's racial. That was a racial.

This hat seems racial. Yeah. This hat seems very racial. Dude, Bobby. Yeah.

We'll put him back on in a minute. I'm going to go back. Let's go back to our record. All right. And put these on.

Yeah. Let's get ready. Regular. So it was just a joke.

“I'm grateful that you used me in the movie.”

Yeah. For sure, dude. I wish you weren't available for more days for one. That's insane. We were shooting something.

That's pure insanity. I have nothing going on. It's your schedule. This was 18 months ago. Yeah, it was 18 months ago.

Yeah. So anyway, I'm glad I wasn't involved in that. I agree. We probably should take off of it. What?

I didn't make this poster, but I did. But I should have said something then. I should have asked you. No, it's fine. I mean, you use you.

Here's what it is. If you had a line in my movie, I would put you on the poster. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, um, you're a big draw.

But I should have asked you about it that probably. I could have been honest with you. Because I like to set boundaries. Yeah. If someone likes a pro.

And I just got off. Two ships passing in the night. I knew. Why? Like through the night of our moves.

The straight on our moves. Yeah. Yeah. We just slowly passing through the night. Yeah.

Like we don't have any oil. We have more. Yeah. Yeah. We only have like plastic containers.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. We're just collecting seeds. Or seeds.

Yeah. We're collecting seeds. Yeah. We're just held. We're just wandering.

We're lost. Yeah. But anyway, um. I don't even know why we got. Oh, yeah.

We're passing the. I'm on Alexa Pro. Yeah. So, um, you know, I like to set boundaries. Right.

And I like to be real. And I want to say something real to you. That I'm ready. I hear it. Sorry.

I get it. I'm ready to hear it. No. I just said it. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, so I get the bus. It was just a joke. The prayer. Right.

And, um. You know, I mean, but I have to be admit.

When I first saw it, I was annoyed.

Yep. You know, and I have to tell you that as a friend. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm grateful that I'm, you know, when people ask me to do things. You know what I mean? But you felt like we were using you. Yeah. I love it.

You know what I mean? But being on set with you guys and having fun, I already expressed myself to Dave. You know what I mean? I didn't know that. He didn't even mention it to me.

No, he showed me it. I was in my month. I didn't say it then. But later when I saw him, I said it. So then he goes.

Then he goes next movie. He'll get bigger role. Yeah. Yeah. This was a much wider use poster.

I think. Oh, I hear. Here we go. Pakistan. Uh.

Uh. Your Pakistan, all of a sudden trying to be middle. This dude's poster. Yeah. No, dude.

We're a war guy. Yeah, right? No, that's nothing you can do. All right. He is a 15 point plan.

I got a 10 point plan. They ain't mixing. I got a six point. I got a 40 point plan. Yeah.

Yeah. It happened. So my point is this. Okay. You know, I really like.

You know what I mean? Because I've heard your stance on Rogan.

“I mean, um, about your feelings toward, you know, what's going on?”

Especially in that area of the region. In the Middle East? No, dude. In Austin? I'm a hambrough.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what's going on over there, dude? Yeah, bro. Bubble shops are shutting down.

We're shooting pool with Jay Rod today. No. He followed Jay Rod. No, I don't know Jay Rod. My point is that I really, you know,

I think I agree with you with a lot of these things that you're saying.

You know what I mean? I see it out loud because, um, you know, I'm a lip tart.

I've always have and I'll always will be.

I've always have that. You think so? Oh, yeah. I mean, we're all liberal about some stuff. I think we're all what's just what we have.

I'm full bullet. Oh, you are. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm full blown. Yeah.

I'll give fuck about knowing immigration. I didn't know that, man. And it's okay. I don't. I mean, I don't, you know, um, I think I don't talk about politics.

But I just, well, you never talk about it. You never have, never will. You never do. Yeah, yeah. This is the first time I've ever brought it up.

Yeah. Really? And I want to say to you that, um, I like what you're saying about it. That's all. Well, confusing.

It's confusing.

“And, um, you know, all you have to do is you have to ask a question.”

And you go, why is this happening? And you do some research, right? And then you figure it out.

You have critical thinking.

And you go. And then you look at the past. And it's a little confusing. You know, and I have a lot of questions. - Well, you look at me like that.

- No, I'm just trying to absorb what you're saying. - Yeah, these are things that you know. - Huh? - Hello. - No, I'm just saying, right now you look like a, like kind of like a,

a wasp that listens to three, 11 kind of. (laughing) - Why does it, what do, why is it always have to be, a put down, you're right, sorry. - You're right, you're right, yeah.

- I'm giving you a compliment, you're looking like, I look like a mosquito from some sort of southern land. - Yeah, do you know, put it back on then, I'll give you that one. - Yeah, give me another one. - All right.

- Oh, you look like the eighth dwarf on me. (laughing) - Yeah? - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, it's like sleeping, when am I doing?

- Sleeping is easy, dopey, and ramen. - No, no, it's got to be eat. - Oh, yeah. - Sleeping is easy, dopey. - Cookie.

- No, why? - Cookie is not a word I don't think. - Cookie monster. (laughing) - Oh, okay.

- We're the cookie. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Have you seen the cookies around here? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, chocolate chip, boogie.

- Yeah. - And it's just like Chinese got with that bugger. You can't pull it chocolate. - I remember the days of your back year. I was thinking about some of the stories you told

back where you grew up and stuff. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And it's so weird.

“And I thought to myself, what if there was a Korean to go on?”

That'd be so funny. - Back when I leave, you know, in Busan, we had a guy in our neighborhood. - Yeah. - We called him crazy at all.

Left eye was Chinese, right eye was Japanese. We don't know what we're coming in. (laughing) I mean, that's like, you know what I mean? Some of your stories, you know what I mean?

And the people that you grew up with is so, it's so, so believable and true. Would it translate to y'all's culture, you think? My culture and y'all's culture? We have the same fucking culture.

What the fuck are you talking about? - Well, you know what I'm saying? - No, I don't know what you're saying. I'm an American. - Lovey.

- No, no, no. I'm tired of this shit. - I'm not saying it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are. - Lovey, I'm out.

- You're doing this thing again. I'm never done anything. - You're trying to separate us when we're the same. You and I have the same empathy. - All right.

- You're a very sensitive guy. Are you not? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that you have a tad bit of ADHD, okay?

- Okay.

“- And these are things that that's why we're friends”

because I understand these things about you, you know what I mean? And you're a sensitive empathetic gay dude, really. - Whoa. - Whoa, dude, I mean, let's be real. - Huh?

- And you've kissed the tip.

I've never, I guess you have, you've kissed the tip, dude.

- Dude, I never even went by anybody's winner in my whole life. One dude, like, was trying to get us to play Navy in his bath of whatever. And dude, I fucking, I didn't, I didn't read any of these. - I didn't read any of these. - Yeah.

- Oh, you didn't really read it. - All right, no, I wouldn't do. - I signed up for the draft for that guy, dude. - Yeah, yeah. - I was all about dude, but if you, if they, who would you fight

for if they had a draft? - I mean, here's the thing, dude. If they, 'cause I'm 54, so they said, there's a draft and we're extending the age to 55. I think I have a compelling reason to get out.

What is it? - One of them is, is that I will kill more of us than them. - I'm gonna, I'm gonna circle you, I'm gonna do a full circle. - Right, and then like, who you killed Jim Frank? You know what I mean?

- Like a little like a yard. - You mean, yard water? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would kill more people than them, right? I also have like, you know what I mean?

I get hungry real quick. Like some of these boats that are out there, I mean, U.S. vessels are out there. They're running on a food, right? So if I was in a jungle fighting in a war,

I would just bite and trees and shit. - V, whatever. - I mean, I would eat anything. If I would, dude, if you got shot, I'm gonna take some.

- But what you need to eat, you need to put on my body.

- So some?

Well, what part would you have first, you think?

Be honest. - The tip, dude. - Ooh. - Oh, just have it all as you can have it. - No, no, no, just the tip, just the tip.

- The tip off, dude, it's gonna fucking look so weird. - Again, look at the fog, right? - You have a P.O.W, I said. - No, this is what I want. - If I was a P.O.W, yeah, yeah.

- Don't eat just the half of my weineries. - You know what I would do?

“- I would cut all of it, your testicles and your penis, right?”

And I would tuck everything inside a hole, and then at your funeral people are gonna go, "Theo was a fucking trans man." - Yeah, no, I do tricks. Dude, if it, what if I was a trans man,

and they bury me in a trans I am, dude. (laughing) - Yeah, that would be right. - I'll be there at the funeral, but no, but dude, that would be crazy, like yeah.

Just don't eat. - What would you, draft-wise would you? - Well, let me finish this up. Do you just threaten me, eat my weiner and a fiction. - I was kidding, dude.

- Okay, yeah, yeah. - We'll say that then, because there's a comedy podcast. - Yeah, I understand that. - Do you understand that? - But when you show up with your energy.

- Yeah. - And what do you mean my energy? - Some of it seems today to be a lot, and a little bit threatening. Is that fair to say?

- A little bit, a little bit. - Yeah, you're saying I'm gonna have a, I'm gonna stand again, huh?

“- Yeah, you're just like, I'm gonna have to, you know,”

when you say, I'm just gonna nip off the end or whatever.

- Yeah, I would never do that, dude, you know what I,

but I don't want my weiner to be missing the end of it and people are like, what happened? I'm like, it got nip or whatever. - I do, dude, the honest truth. - Can we say nip, they're not.

- Absolutely. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would, I wouldn't nip, right? I wouldn't lick, you mean, I wouldn't gargle. - Oh, you mean, I wouldn't smile.

- What are you talking about? - No, what I'm saying, if you died on the war, okay, and I would literally take your tags, right? I would bury you. I'd make a little, I'd make a little, you know what I mean,

tombstone, you're lies, comedian, fiovon, and I wouldn't do anything, you know what I mean? You wouldn't do anything in my body, just to create it. - No, dude. - But everyone around me, other soldiers, yeah.

- You think so? - Yeah, 'cause I know you, there's a way when you need to get the tip. - Don't you need any part of your body? - I, dude, I'd fucking have a little bit of your ass boy.

- Not your ass, but just, just like boy. - Sorry, buddy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let me put this hat on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put my hat on.

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Dude, I remember the summer, bro.

I remember the first time I'd ever seen a,

what's it called, a eagle, bro? First time, I'd gotten out of school for summer vacation, right?

“Do you remember that last day of the school year you get out?”

And I remember walking down the street because my bike somebody stalled my bike. And I saw that beautiful thing. And I couldn't, I didn't even know they had, you could put that much, just dang, just quality beauty

on the sun. I didn't think you could get something that nice, unless you rented it from like an Ashley furniture, or something. But anyway, iconic summer moments deserve

an iconic drink. It's Mountain Dew, an American original. The refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is the perfect companion to your American summer adventures. When I get me a little Mountain Dew, man, I like the diet.

'Cause I, you know, I'm saying, 'Cause I get that rattle in me, so now I like that Mountain Dew diet. And my color, I get to hold my little God nephew sometimes. And he's a baby, and if you just do, I give me a little Mountain Dew diet in me,

and you put my God nephew in arms and dang. Amen, brother. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew and American original. Tasting great since 48, 1948.

Look for American Dew limited time packaging, or find it in stores near you at MountainDew.com. That's MountainDew.com. But you have like Tokyo Drift AF, bro. Right now.

Thank you, man. Another one, huh? It's gonna keep going. I'm just gonna tell you a drift as fuck. It's a fun game.

I'm moving, I mean, huh? Hello?

“Yeah, I'm just saying, okay, so in a war,”

now what would you do? In a war, yeah. I would. I'll talk. Yeah, yeah.

We're fighting again, let me give you the circuit. Okay give me a second. Yeah, yeah. We're doing Viet and I'm too. Ooh.

There's gotta be a sequel. Yeah, 'cause we lost the last one. Did y'all? Y'all. I'm always on your team.

(laughs) Do I be y'all? I was born here, guy. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still be, dude, if I was an American soldier,

I still been wearing this hat. You. Oh, yeah. It's good, yeah. So I can sneak on to the other side.

Bro, we would do with the boobie and the best military ever. You and I. Yeah. Dude, we would fucking stamp all night. Party in.

Oh, dude. I'll relapse. Eat in twizzlers. Oh yeah, do we, we, we, we'll have some opium. Do that our own government would sell to its soldiers.

Yeah. We, yeah, we shooting opium. Yeah. Listening to purple haze. Some fox bones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to purple haze. Some fox bones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're like shooting opium, right?

And they're just like kissing kibs. Yeah. Dude, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You be kissing the dip with music, heroin, just dip.

Bro, I just want to be straight and help my country. I'm straight to do it. I have a girlfriend now.

Dude, here's what we'd be doing.

We'd be saying a plate and we'd get pissed off. Yeah. And I would cut one of my nipples off and it's rowing. You catch it in your mouth. Oh, that'd be cool, dude.

It's a fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's party in. That's party in. That's party in, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I would sew it back on your nip. Yeah, dude. Good God. What is it? Good for.

Absolutely nothing. Say it again. Bong. Yeah, yeah. That's a good way to say it.

Anyway, we're one of us, too. Vietnam, too, that what would you do? You're drafted. The bond drafted. OK.

Born in the USA isn't a Vietnam song. That was written way after. I know, but I'm just saying it. And don't sing that song, then, for example. I'm going to try to both of us.

So I won't sing it. Let's go on. What do you mean? What do you mean? Good.

I'm USA all the way, dude. Are you? Oh, yeah, dude. Guess what? One of my favorite restaurants are.

Cracker bear. Oh, it is. In my American or what? Cracker bear. Cracker bear.

Yeah. Really? I think it's the best breakfast, dude. It's a good breakfast spot. It is.

Sometimes he can.

But when I walk in in the south, there always is like the everyone's up to

working. Yeah. When I walk in. Yeah. Well, this kind of like a moment of remembrance.

Like when you think so. Not saluting me. No. They're like, what the fuck is this? Well, it's because some of it's just like just like an old it like I remember

“this like my my stepdad and he was in the wars, right?”

And he, what were I don't know. He was in at least two out of three. And he went to, he would take my mom to the Chinese buffet. It was called. In the war?

No, no. In town. He would take this mama. They have like this place called yellow bellies or whatever. It was a Chinese buffet.

I don't know. What was it called? But he would take my, he would take my mom over there. I'm not even joking. You're yellow.

Yeah. Yeah. He was. I'm not joking, Bobby. No, it's not called yellow bellies.

It was. No way.

It's called yellow bellies.

Bro. Yeah. It was called yellow bellies. Okay. I'll make a change.

“The name they changed one of the letters on the sign.”

Yeah. Yeah. To like yellow bells or whatever. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's better.

Because I burnt out or whatever. So it was just like yellow bells and it was just like, oh, was a belly with it. I at them. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's a play on words.

Oh, yeah. But it's. So anyway, what happened was he would after dinner.

He would always sit my mom in the car and then he'd go back in.

And he would like apologize to some of the workers at work there for like things that had happened when he was in a different complex. Yeah. Wow. But I mean, you think we've never been in a conflict with China.

Is it Chinese restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we've never been in a war really with China.

So he's apologizing to a group of people that they have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. They know. No, they don't know. A Chinese people are like, oh, oh, oh, thank you for so much for apologizing because

we were feeling so bad about it. No. But dude, not everybody. This happens a lot in small towns. I mean, this is the truth.

A lot of small towns. If they open up a place that is ethical in the town and it's different. Yeah. They will hire anybody that even looks like that culture to work there. So I could get a job at Yellow Belly.

Fuck. Yeah, dude. Manage it. Huh? Management.

Maybe assistant manager. Okay. Yeah. They might let you manage on Sundays. Yeah.

But what I'm saying is this. So he would then he would go in and kind of apologize.

“And you have to think, this is something kind of crazy.”

So a lot of people went and fought in some of these wars, right?

And they came back and they never saw anybody from any of these cultures until like 40

years later when a restaurant with some different ethnical food showed up in their town. And that's the, that's like the, they never, that's kind of crazy to think that, you know? Does it make sense to you? Let me get this right. Yeah.

Okay. So what you're saying is your, let's call this guy Jim. Okay. What do you want to call him? His name is Charlie.

Okay. We got to go in Charlie. Huh? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I run it. That his name is Charlie.

I mean, love. Yeah. And he was a nom. Yeah. We're going to call him that.

You better work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And he died. And he wore a lot of the rest of his Charlie. He wore a lot of glory. Telling me is Charlie came back from the Vietnam War. Yeah.

Didn't see an Asian person for 40 fucking years. Yeah. Right. And all of a sudden yellow belly opens a Chinese restaurant. Send me Chinese.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Send my Chinese. All right. And he walked in there.

And because he hadn't seen a Vietnamese person in 40 years. He went up to a Chinese person and apologized for the Vietnam War. And what he did. Yeah. Okay.

His heart had been changed. Yeah. That's the truth, Bobby. Bobby. That's the truth.

I swear. I know. But maybe go to my mom and tell you. Maybe go to a Vietnamese person. But they don't have a Vietnamese restaurant in town.

We, it doesn't, at that point, it's like you just take what you can get, bro. They, they're, they're, they'll hire a fucking Mexican guy. Who's, who's, who's, who's, who's high? No, there's eyes look Chinese. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Mexican guy. Yeah. He's just like, you smoked up when you were saying when you walk here.

Who's eyes, you know, he's got this low rider eyes. You know, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what you're saying to me is that.

“And did he feel the Charlie Field better about doing that?”

He felt, no, I just think over the years, his heart had been like, he just kind of like, you know, something, you know, he just had probably some remorse. Yeah. And I feel empathy for that. But I'll tell you what the Chinese people were thinking at yellow belly.

What the fuck are we talking about? Yeah. Yeah. That's what they're thinking. Well, well, he talking about.

No. Yeah. Because they're not in the Vietnam. Do you understand? I feel like.

No, no, no, no. I think that there's. I know. I know. I know.

Because we do this all the time. No, we don't. Yeah. We do. We do this all the time.

And, you know, we do this. We do this. You saying, you and I have this conversation a lot. Yeah.

You and I always go into.

And I don't want to do it anymore. I think this is the last time. Okay, give me the other half done. Huh? Oh, you want that share crop ahead, huh?

How are you doing, man? Huh? How are you doing, man? I'm good, sir. Yeah.

Billy Lee. That's my name. Billy. Billy Lee. Billy Lee.

I love you. I'm happy to be here today. Working for you. What can I do for you? I just want to apologize for what I did to your people in the Vietnam War.

Before. I apologize.

What's your name, man?

My name? Yeah, man. My name's Clark. Clark. Clark.

I apologize. But see how that feels.

You have nothing to do with the fucking Vietnam War.

Yeah. You're a wide-do named Clark wearing that hat because you just happened to get a job. It's a buster. Yeah. Yellow belly, right?

And some guy Charlie. I've been working here for almost three months. Yeah, yeah. So a Clark. I want to apologize.

Because I know you were in that hat. You probably, you know me. Yeah. That's a lot of village. Yeah, man.

And I'm a bad about it, man. So hey, I want to give you a hug, man. We hug, right? Yeah. You're a little tip.

Yeah. That's what you would do. Yeah. Yeah. Charlie seems like he would hide the tip.

So there'd be a nice, nice, like. It's like he did rivalry. Do you ever see that show? I haven't seen that. Yeah.

Yeah. You know that show? The gay hockey show? Yeah. Got a show?

Yeah.

You never heard he did rivalry.

Is the hottest show in America? Is it really?

“I think I've heard Josh Morrissey's in it.”

Yeah. It's about these two gay hockey players that are in love. Oh, there's a lot of gay love. Is Johnny Palo in it? Yeah.

No. I think Johnny and Josh Morrissey might be in it. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um, he did not change.

There's a scene in healing. He had rivalry. Yeah. When one of the hockey players passes a waterball bottle. Right.

So I'm going to just show you one of them does. All right. Right. So they're, they're not out. You know what I mean?

Like manly hockey players. Right. Can you pick it up with that hand please? Yeah. Yeah.

No, they go with that hand. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And he passes like this, right?

And then he does this. How does that feel? Do what they say and so the people can see it on the camera. Oh, okay. Do what you're other hand.

So do what this hand? Use your left hand. Yeah. I don't have a lot of control on this hand. I'll try.

I don't give a shit. Okay. So you pick the, pick the top. Okay. So you grab it like this.

And he goes. What? Yeah. And then you take the bottle. Ooh.

That's like one of the first episodes.

It's like kind of like a um gay relay race. Yeah. Yeah. It was a gay relay race.

“But it's also a way to show like, you know what I mean?”

Right. There's four shadowing. Yeah. There's some four shadowing. Yeah.

So if I did that to you. You, you're not doing a show together at the store. Yeah. Your, your bobby hand me a ball of water. Right.

And I handed you a ball of water and you stayed at it. And I, and I kind of just briefly with my finger rubbed your finger. Yeah. How would you feel about that? I would feel like you were rubbing my finger.

And I would feel like you were trying to give me, trying to say something to me, trying to say something to me with just your finger without even saying something to me. Yeah. And that and that and it would be something that was gay. Yeah.

And I'll tell you that's right now. I don't do a fuck. But would you do that to me? What if I was unconscious? No, dude.

You have to feel the finger. Oh. You know that slogan? Feel the finger? Yeah.

Yeah. My grandfather used to say it all the time. Feel the finger. But do you see? Yeah.

Yeah. So your grandparents can do that kind of shit. Yeah. But my grandparents can't go in new way. A Chinese restaurant.

Yeah. Of a fae. And a Chinese buffet. A Chinese buffet. And trying reconcile some differences.

That's what I understand. I'm saying it.

“You can reconcile differences with people that you have to reconcile differences with.”

Not some other nation. Or people. It makes no sense. I don't know if I agree with you. I don't know if I agree with you.

I'm trying to make your argument. I'm trying to make it. You make your fucking argument. You keep attacking you because what you're saying is non-sensical. Who?

No. No. You don't know anything about you think. Here's what you think. No.

I'm sorry. Pakistan. Right? I've been here so many different times. And I'm going to say what I'm going to say.

You think no. You think you think. You give an angry sharecropper energy right now. Yeah. And I am one.

Okay. Okay. I have farm. I'm a farmer. Okay.

I'll go do it all on. You seem to think that the whole country. I mean, a continent of Asia. Yeah. Right.

Is one block that we have the same traditions. Language, writings, culture, etc. They're all. I'm listening. I'm listening.

Completely different. Right? I believe. So it's like saying, oh yeah. And Americans like somebody from the Congo.

That's not true. Yeah. It's not. What if you said like, okay, somebody from Mississippi is like somebody that's from North Carolina. They're similar.

Yeah. They look similar. But they're different. One of them probably watches out our banks. And one of them probably listens to the soundtrack at the gym of a Mississippi

Burning or whatever. But the continent of North America, how many countries are in there? On the continent of North America, 51. No. Isn't there?

Three. Dude. You're fucking setting me up. There's no nonsense you up, dude.

Yeah.

Your smile. Your massage. I'm not massage, dude. I'm the opposite. You are?

Yeah. I mean, rubble. You're in rubble? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

So what I'm saying to you is there's three countries on our continent.

Which are what? North America, South America, Mexico. What is it? See, that's why you know what I mean? Trolley shouldn't have said shit, dog.

But dude. He doesn't understand. You're, I would like to go politically things. Yeah. Yeah.

He doesn't understand. Just Canada, America, and also Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. Now, it's Central America.

No, that's a, what is Central America? Yeah. That's not a part of, okay.

“This is when the wizard runs out of his magic, right?”

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give me the comedy countries. I mean, how many countries are in North America?

This is including Central America. Yeah, but in Central America, North America, I don't think so. Just, just put it in North America. How many countries are in North America? Bro.

No, just let me finish. It's never going to end. How many countries do North America 11? That's Central America and stuff. It's including.

But yeah. And just. Oh, Haiti. Yeah. In North America, there's three countries.

Okay. Oh, great. So it's, it's like, okay. Yeah. But here's my defense.

And, and that's a charter. Yes. Defense of who? Charlie. Okay.

He would call. Bro, they don't, what I'm saying is, in some, in some smaller communities, they will open up a place that has a cuisine from an area, even around. Right? So you don't, you want to mean, like, lower the ring, should?

Yeah. They'll open up with some fucking Mongol origin. Oh, Mongol origin restaurants. Those are my favorite. Are you know what I'm saying?

The open up a month, uh, Mandarin? Yeah. Sure. Fry plays. Chinese adjacent.

The other Chinese adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. So they'll open that up, I'll be. And then.

People, the people that worked there. First of all. Did there's no, anybody? There's no way to win this argument. It's fucking crazy.

Let me take this hat up. There's no. I'm going to hear you out. What's the problem with the hat? I don't like it.

I want to just be my someone. Yeah. Yeah. So there's no way to win this argument.

“I'm so interested to see how you're going to do it.”

Go ahead. This is my final where bottle. All right. Go ahead. And this is like the end of that movie.

No. No. Give me another movie. All right. Oh.

Lincoln lawyer. But I don't know. Yeah. Give me another movie. All right.

Bridge over the river. Why? Yes. I have. Okay.

So this is different than that. Okay. Here's one of my 10th. It is. Yeah.

Hold on. Yeah. What's up? You're. I'm doing Theo.

So. Projectile Mary is one of the best movies I've seen in the year.

It was an amazing movie, right?

What's it called? Bus boys? I cried. I cried like four times. I told you, dude.

That's one of the best movie I've seen in years. What's it called? And then right after I went and I watched bus boys, which is now in limited theaters all around the country. Yeah.

How do you feel about broad bus boys? Bus boys. Bus boys is up there with some of the greatest. Famousie. Side five dramas.

Yeah. I agree. I agree. I've got every second of it. Hi, Theo.

Hey, brother. How are we miss you? I miss you. Love you guys very much. Sorry to interrupt.

We'll talk about the movie. But what was that movie called? I'm going to tell you after we hang out. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Let me get my hair on Mary. Projectile Mary. It's great. It's so good.

I want to go see it. Is it in theaters on VOD? I would recommend you watch it in theaters. But you're not going to watch it. Yeah.

Will we Charlie watch it? Huh? Would Charlie watch it if he was alive. No. He's a nuts.

You're part of the same. He like to be in the shed. He like to curse a lot. Yeah. He was like the unit bomber.

No. No. Okay. But he took care of my mother. He had a small dog.

But here's what I want to tell you.

Okay. Finish the argument. Okay. A lot of times it's small communities, Bobby. People.

If anybody seems semi Asian. If anybody seems. What's the semi Asian? A guy who's Asian. But also you don't know if he's Asian, man.

If somebody just has dark hair. It could be a white guy. But he had funny eyes.

“Even just a trans chick who can't see that good, right?”

Like people will fucking it all works. And that sort of thing. It doesn't work. It doesn't work for us, bro. But in that kind of place, you just take what like you like you take what you can get.

Right. And so they'll have people. Sometimes you'll get a Mexican guy that's been in a fire even. And they'll be like, oh, this guy is Taiwanese or something. He's not.

But people don't know dude. They just. So I'm just saying like, sometimes that kind of shit happens. And people try to make bridges where they can. Okay.

If there was a guy that was slightly blue. Would you think that they would from the movie avatar? I'm sure Charlie would have went up to him. And I went off for the fucking dude. Speaking.

Yeah. Yeah. But let's move on. No. No.

I don't want to move on. I think I see your point of view. Right. I'm not saying it's right or anything. Yeah.

Yeah. What I'm saying though is that this is small town.

Yes.

You know what I mean. World view. But also. Yeah. No.

No. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember I saw some clips.

Um. Yeah. Asian ray. Young boy Asian. Bobby, can you speak to your left?

Yeah. And he listened to something.

“What he said one day that brought me into some crazy.”

Okay. Racism that was happening. Okay. I don't think we'll find it there. It might stop us.

But maybe you won't. Maybe you will. I don't think it's on here. The phone might be on YouTube shorts. So can you just find it?

Dude. Look, listen. I'll mess up this as dude. Did you see? Okay.

There's moving slot machines that are going on. I would like to see. They move. Watch this. They move.

No. Oh yeah. They're going to be coming after y'all. All right. Look at this, Bobby.

Whoa. So say you're. I know. Yeah. You're going to share.

No. No. No. No. No.

It's like, all right, you can't game any more tonight. You have to go to bed or whatever. Right. And that thing comes knock on your door later with like, oh, yeah. Oh, bottle of wine.

Oh, that'd be crazy. You know? Yeah.

“Or even just for like, you put a hundred bucks in it.”

I don't know. Yeah. But that thing could pen a fucking dude. That thing could pen of an older Taiwanese man. I guess.

And make him spend every bucket. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying that.

Yeah. I think that this is too far. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Like, you know, like it.

But ATM machine, too, then. If they do this, they do ATM. Yeah. What else? The machines that can they do.

You know, the crane game? Oh, yeah. That one I would like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never gotten one of you.

Really, you haven't? I can never grab it, dude. Huh. Yeah. Sometimes I'll have it hook onto like, you know,

like on a plushed toy. There's like the little, whatever man you're like, Made in China. There's like a little bit of a white. I try to get the crane, you know what I mean.

I'll go through the part of the ticket that are a little late. The little label. And I try to pull it up that way. But somehow slips. Oh, dang, that's a good strategy though.

But, um, yeah. What is it? What kind of age? What kind of what? What kind of age is he?

This age? No age. Oh. He's tight. Oh.

Like it. He's tight. Yeah. Tell me about him. What do you say?

One. He's Mexican. Yeah. He's tight. And my center.

No, no.

“They kind of shit that these kids are coming every year in saying.”

Oh, I don't want to hear it. I will let you call me a chin chung. Oh. I'll give it a pass. Really?

Yeah. Just call you one time. It's okay. I don't want to do it. It's okay.

Like, I'm coy. Like, if you're, I'm going to give it a pass. You can say chin chung. I would not say. I would probably.

I would think it's like, I don't like chin chung that much. Wow. I would maybe call you like a slot machine boy or something like that. Something that Asian people like to do. Look at this little kind of slow machine.

Look at this little slot machine. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Like, we slut like. Yeah.

Yes. That's a slot machine. That's not. Yeah. Yes.

No, I think that's slot machine. It's like, it'd be like a slot machine. And like, when you hit the bonus on a slot machine. Yeah. Yeah.

That's crazy. Let me tell you something. That's unfair. Yeah. You know that guy.

We know we all know each other. I, I can call him right now, dog. Kim Jong-un. That's right, dog. You know he was supposed to play your role in the movie.

Cool. KJU. You're not even joking. You're going to give him one line in a movie. We offered him.

It's four lines. You're going to put him to the other. It was the only house. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I was second choice, dog.

No, wait, wait, wait. I was second choice for four lines in your movie. Oh, that's crazy, dude. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's true or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I believe you. Yeah, you were a producer. I knew wrote the thing. Dude, we barely got through it. We made it during the fires.

Yeah, I understand that. Listen about this Asian guy. Okay. Number one. I don't want to give him any more airtime.

This guy's kind of fucking rude. You brought it up. All right. You maybe watch the whole video and then like watch it. I can't say anything.

All right, then go on. All right. He's not. He's from Chinchong. Go on, Bobby.

All right. He's from the land of them. He ain't know American. I'm American. Yeah, I know you're.

Yeah, yeah, me. So it's like Chinchong hits different with me than that Chinchong. Yeah, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

So it's like, you know, a little. Oh, so let me see something. And the locked up with knuckle he ain't shit. He shit. There's a locked up as a knuckle dude.

You know what I mean? And let me say something. Slots.

I know what you said that, man.

Because the sloth is a slit.

Nah. Yeah, that's why you said it. A sloth is a slit. And the slit is a slot, dude. Bro, I'm doing parables, dude.

Yeah. Let me say something about that. All right, tell me something. Let me say something. Okay.

All right. I give you permission.

“Maybe not on camera, but off camera to see whatever you want to call me.”

Because I'm not going to take a personal life. I don't do that. Yeah, you do. You have. And I've said, I've called you certain things.

Oh, really? Yeah. Just to you off camera. To me. Was that there?

Yeah, is that what you're saying?

I was there. Yes. Oh, off camera, you have. Yeah. Not behind my back though.

No, no, no. I'll be on your. You know it. Wow. I don't want to thank stress.

Yeah. We're going to break for lunch. You know, in the past, I was hesitant to invest my money. And who wouldn't be? Because, you know, I mean, I used to throw my money in a wish and well when I was a child

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And I didn't feel like I got anything useful out of the visit. That's true. I'd go in there and one time they got tickled me. And wrote some p-wrote some profanity on top. On a little sketch pad or something.

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Life's a journey hell and look, we're barely living. You know that people are poisoned by food. There's glyphosate and, you know, you're watching television. You get glyphosate thrown in your face through the, you know, 4K or whatever 5G wireless, you know, the animals aren't breathing.

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H-E-L-P.com/theo. No, the judge is going to return to the chambers when we back after lunch. I love that show.

I've said something on your back.

Ooh, I'll be getting that hitter off.

The flavor is it. That's fucking tobacco, dude. Yours is just a back of flavoring. Yeah.

“I quit smoking over a month ago, so sometimes I'll take a hit.”

That's insane, bro. Yeah, that's how I quit. That's the same way I'm talking not quit. What do you mean, dude? That's not quitting.

Dude, if you're smoking a packet cigarettes a day, 20 cigarettes. Yeah. You can eat cigarettes and I'll eat it. Have you heard that song? No.

Morgan Wallen? No. Did I want to listen to it? I don't know the modern shit. I want to listen to it the other night.

Dude, I saw a fucking Karen Carpenter at the Coachella. I didn't know one song. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

She came out and I had not one song. No, Sabrina Carpenter. Sabrina Carpenter. Oh, yeah. Karen Carpenter died.

Her and my, her and my Dana.

Yeah. Yeah. You know Morgan Wallen, dude. Bro, you got to go see him. No, no, no, no, no.

You got to do his walkout with them. If you ever seen, he does the walkouts, where people walk out with him.

“Nick Saving, freaking walked out with the Bobby.”

Yeah, I don't even know who Nick Saving is. I only know pizza. It's not Nick Saving, dude. Like he's a guy who freaking makes coup. He might be saving something.

It's Nick Saving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Listen to me, guy. Oh, he loves you, dude.

Oh, yeah. I love him back, dude. When I want to say the year is the last night. We left the little girl talk. Bro.

Last night. We left the little girl talk. That's good stuff. Listen to me, dude. I don't, I hear listening.

It's a regional thing, dude. You're out there in Nashville. What's all that? You know what I mean? We do different shit out here in LA dog.

What? Yeah, rap, punk bands, you know what I mean? You're right. You know what I mean, dude? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you. Last night, my bus fell down. A river. Music. I don't even relate to it.

Last night, my dog came said hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are like, that's your music. You mean, my corn's growing, like, some brown rose. Like Nevada.

Nevada. I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's try to confuse him real quick. What?

All right, what? I woke up and I couldn't see this morning. And I realized it was night. So why had to read down low my iPhone software. I put my white hat through the door.

Yeah, I like the ending. It's like a CBD. It's a CBD. It's a CBD. It's a CBD.

It's a CBD. It's like a CBD. It's a CBD. You said? What?

Dude, dude, you said gay volleyball. No, hold on a second. We keep it. But we're not. We don't even know we're saying.

I don't know. That's the thing. When you went out together, right? Just say it, man. There's anxiety.

And we want to get to the next thing. Right? Because we think that silence is bad. It's a good point. I do feel like that.

If you always felt like that.

But when I realize, it doesn't matter whether you and I. Maybe good. And there's no need for anxiety. And there's no need to like what's clipable. And you know, because when you and I are together, sometimes it gets clipable.

And it becomes sometimes viral. Yeah. And when I was coming here today, there's a reason why I haven't done your shit in a long time is because I don't like the pressure of doing it with you specifically. Because if we were to don't create magic, right?

Then it was just a waste. I brought that up to Nick today where you came. Yeah, yeah. And I prayed about it before this.

“But what I believe is that then when I was driving, I was like,”

I don't care. Whatever it is, it is. Yeah. And I'm okay with that. You know, because we're both doing well in life.

And I think I believe that you're a very good person. I'm a good person. And just not rush through it, man. I'm here as long as you need me. You know what I mean?

But I think we have something. I mean, we're as bare dick at. He's a very dick. Yeah. Do we get stuff already?

Yeah, I think you gave the clippers and fuel. Yeah. We got some stuff, right? Do you got more enough? We got more than enough.

So what I'm saying is, is that, Can you slide your right a bit? You're in theory. I know, I know. Honestly, what you're doing right now is,

I said to go to the left. Now I've got to go to the right. We haven't had this problem yet. You're just, you know, your full of energy. Does he look on center.

He's just creeping into your shots. I'm moving my God. I got to get him. I'm okay here. Move your mic and you're good.

We look at this right here. This is you in the movie. I know what. This is you in your anxiety.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

That's the guy you beat out for your first ball.

That's the guy you beat out. That's the guy you beat out. No, no, no, no. That's Kim Jong-un as me in the movie, don't. No, I came in for a read.

That's the guy you beat out for your role. Oh, oh, so he came from North Korea. Okay. And read, went on set and read for you and he didn't get it. Yeah.

Yeah. And then you're like, let's, what other, you mean? Chang Chang said we know. And then you called me. How many people did you call before you called me?

Did you call Ken Jong? Do you call Jimmy O'Yang? I did send a text to Kim Jong. He didn't text me back. Ken Jong.

Kim Jong. Yeah, yeah. And I did also. We did reach out to Ken Jong. Or Ken Jong-un.

This is the, at least. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un. Yeah. No, that's Ken Jong.

Yeah, it's Ken Jong. So he said no. He said no. But he did, he did say that. They've heard a letter back.

Like his like a fairs person, wherever. Yeah. And they said that they loved David Spade and Dickie Roberts. I thought that was just over there. That they put that in there.

Yeah, yeah.

“Who else did you offer before you offered it to me?”

We offered it.

You were, you were, you were second.

Also, Kim, Kim Jong-un, the dictator from North Korea. Yeah. And then I was second. A hundred percent. One hundred percent.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Because I think you got it. If you got dictator like Victor Orban and then we got Dick Taster. I think we did good.

It's not fair what you just said. But you didn't have a lot. Yeah. I just, yeah. I looked at him.

I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces.

I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces. I only had a lot of pieces.

It becomes a moment of silence. It's happening to me a lot of relationships. It's a moment of silence. It's hard for me to just sit there and let there be silence. But you said that you've changed with that.

What I'm asking is how have you changed? What have you done that's changed? Because that's kind of. I think therapy is helped. I think lexapro is helped.

Sometimes I'll talk riddle in for my ADHD. I didn't take any today. How much pro you want? Yeah. But let's grow.

Lexapro? Yeah. 10-millimeter grams, I think. Okay. It's a little, it's a dose.

Yeah. You know, it's like when they say, when you're performing, a lot of comics hate the silence. But that's when they're listening, right? And I feel so comfortable with you because we've known each other for so long that we could take a break.

We don't always have to like chase a laugh or say something super interesting.

That's the thing. It's like we perform for the algorithm and for what people are going to want to watch.

“I think with you, with you, sometimes it does turn into that.”

This is the first sum of ever thought that. So it's funny that you said that for you came over whenever you got it. We are because I did think that. Didn't we talk about it, Nick? I said, what would we say?

What are we going to talk about? And I was like, let the moments happen. Yeah. Yeah. And if the moments don't happen, I'm okay with that.

That's okay. That's okay. Yeah. Because we'll podcast again. Yeah.

And again. And I don't want to lose out on a chance to have a good time with you. I'm already having a blast. Me too. Yeah.

I mean, the things that you talked about Charlie was insane. It's not that. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah.

It's fucking insane. And that's already. That's already something that people are going to know. What the fuck is he talking about? Because he's a small town like he likes to go out to eat it.

I don't want to regroup. Don't do your fucking confused white face. You guys do that a lot. You're confused white face. Who does?

You, you know, you guys. You guys do that a lot. Oh, you think like, oh, we didn't start a war. What? Your eyes crossed.

What? You know what I mean? You started it. You started it. We didn't.

Yeah, you started it. Well, if they go on after 47 years. That's a fucking thing. They're about to have a nuclear weapon to come on, man. Don't do confused white face.

I get it. I know the tone. I've been around a long time. I know confused whites. That's Trump.

You know, but that you're sometimes you're a confused white. You think so. That's Trump. It's fucking missile monkeys. I know.

But those missile monkeys are also confused whites. Munking around. I know. You know what I'm saying?

“Is this is that you mean don't confuse white me, doc?”

You right? Yeah, I mean because I'm a confused yellow. No, you're not. Sometimes. Yeah, I can confuse.

Yeah. But the Lexus. You seem confident. Has it really helped you? What does it help you with?

I'll say this. You seem a little less shy. Because sometimes you get shy. You ever try to put your hand in a aquarium. You try to get up and get one of the fish out of there.

Yeah. Like a coiffish. Or just at a party or whatever. Yeah. They won't be going.

They will not come in your hand. Yeah, because it's a defense mechanism. But that's how you are. No. But they're like, uh, you mean a craze white is, you know, me trying to grab me.

Oh, no. I'll keep my hand open and just wait till something comes in it. Will you, will you clutch it? No. It's kind of softly open like this.

Do they ever do it? Never. You know why? Why? They're scared.

That's how remind me of you. Yeah. That's a baby. Yeah. I'm not really that scared anymore.

Good. Yeah. Are you scared? Yeah. No.

I'm happy to hear that. No. Are you scared? Are you scared?

“I've gone through a period recently in the past few months.”

I've definitely dealt with some fear. Yeah. Yeah. I think scared of like, uh, yeah. I don't know dude.

Like things get scary in the world. And you think like, uh, if you say certain things that people are going to do

Something bad to you or something bad could happen to somebody, you know.

You get death threats and things like that.

Yeah. That's scary. You get those. Sometimes I have. From who?

I'm not going to, I don't block them immediately. I don't know. Have you ever gotten a stalker before? Oh, yeah. No way.

Have you? No. Never. I'm going to tell you something that's your confused about again. Yeah.

Right. And this has happened to me four or five times. I'll have a, I'll match what somebody with Raya. Mm-hmm. I'll take them Monday.

And then go, what's the up to him? And I go, because I was hanging out with Vancouver and then like, I couldn't get in touch with him and it's like, you know, like, tell me, you know, right? And four matches were, listen, hear me out.

I'm the four of my Ryan matches, right? We're because they were trying to get to you. And that's when I deleted Raya. You're off. I'm off of it.

I've never been on it.

“I know, but my point is that, you know what I mean?”

Like, you know, my point? Yeah. That women probably do stalk you. I believe they do. Because I have some.

Yeah.

I do have a lot of women, you know,

on my Instagram going, you know what I mean? Tell Thia, I think he's hot. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, you know, I'm pretty hot.

Yeah. Dude, if I were a gay dude, I would fucking smash you, dude. Or I would date you, I'd ask you out. Sorry. Don't smash right away.

I mean, what are you going to take me? Huh? What are you going to take me? You know where? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I love belly. Yeah. I know.

I will apologize for Charlie. Hey, free appetizers. Yeah. No, dude. I would take me somewhere nice.

I'm taking somebody. Like if I said, like, um, what town is this? L.A. I would take you to Homocase. If I have that, it is just too gay dude.

Just disguising their wingers. Yeah. That's fish. Yeah. Oh.

No.

“I think it would take me somewhere nice.”

Like if I go, A, it would take me to Mastro's stay house. I would take you somewhere nice. Yeah. Yeah. I permit why she's taking me there.

We make out, like if you're gay and I was at your day, would you make out with me that night or I don't think so. I don't like to make out on a full stomach. So yeah. Me either.

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what I've been doing lately, dude?

Intercleanings. What is it? Are you talking to? I've been doing intercleanings, dude. Are you, and what do you guys, what do you mean by it?

What do you guys, what do you mean by it? When you say intercleanings. Intercleanings. When I say intercleanings, what would that? What did you, you talking about?

I just had a colonoscopy. Oh, damn that butt fountain or whatever. Yeah. I got a butt fountain. They found no pulp.

Did they? Yeah. And they found no cancer. Let's go. Yeah.

And now I do intercleanings. So what I'll do is buy my bathtub. I have one of those Japanese toilets. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Right, right. Yeah. I sit on it and warm up right away.

“I sit there and he would shoot those if he saw him.”

You Charlie would. He would. He would. He would. He would.

He would. He would. Yeah. Oh, it's a flashback and trauma. Yeah.

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, and what I do is I have fancy body wash. Next to my toilet.

Right. So I have a bed day of a bed day. No, I don't have that. Do you know what one is? Yeah.

I know it's something that washes in your ass and stuff like that. And I respect it. I'm glad we have it as a culture. But I don't want it. Why don't you want it?

I'd rather wash my ass like a fucking man. I know. But the thing is is that when you use dry toilet paper. Right. You're not getting the innards.

But sometimes you'll put some wetner on that toilet paper dude. What's the wetner? Wetner. Keep your little stash of water by your toilet. Yeah.

It's a fucking boy. It just doesn't naturally when you press a button. Yeah. You're going to have a fucking wetner. It's the same fucking thing.

Dude, I'm not fucking letting some way move. I can clean my ass. Dude. All right. I'm doing it myself.

But you can control the angles. I'm old fashioned. All right, dude. So I control the levels. Yeah.

So it hits the hall. But that's not a colonoscopy. I already had one last week. Okay. But now I'm talking about cleaning my innards.

Dude, let you keep anything that comes out of me. I'm not having her nail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Those are in there. No, but so I, so you help is good. No, no. Let me finish my inner story.

That's what your problem is. You're right. All right. And I take some body wash. I let the body hit directly into the, you know, mean calamari.

Yeah. But I like to call it. Okay. Okay. Because that's what it looks like.

Okay. Right. I hit the calamari. Right. And then sometimes I'll open up my own cheeks.

Right. Oh, dang. So that the water sprays right into the hole. Into the horror moves, huh? The horror moves straight into our moves.

Right. For those clothes. Yeah. It does close. Right.

You know what I mean? But you know me. We're charging.

We're charging two million for per vessel.

That's what you get.

I charged my pooch in.

Yeah.

I charged my pooch two million dollars in the pay.

Pro. Yeah.

“That's what you got to tell your bottle.”

It's like a blink twice if you're in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway. I sprayed inside.

Then I'll take a tissue paper. Somebody wash. Right. I'll get it inside the hole. And I'll do a double spray.

Right. In the hole. Right. Then I do a dry wipe. Okay.

Right. And I leave. So that like, you know, when you're having sexuality with my girlfriend. Right. You know, I mean, there's no problem.

Right. I mean, aren't you self cleaning when you know you're about to hook up? Yeah. I've been taking a little break right now from dating and stuff like that. Okay.

That's the whole body. I do that too. I do that too. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know what you're doing.

You're doing it. Wait. You ever met yourself? Have you ever met yourself? Have you met yourself?

He's crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy. Whatever. Dude.

Whatever. You told me. You know. You said you were, huh? He said you used to work on the injury.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I survived it.

Yeah. I survived it. And you lied. Yeah. I lied about it.

So my bad. But let me say something right now. Okay. Of course.

“I watched my body before I do that process.”

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

All right. Yeah. See, that's all you do is wash your body. I washed my body. Yeah.

I washed my body. Huh? I steam your body.

I go to sauna in the morning.

But in Nashville. Yeah. No. I like to do it one day. Yeah.

I love to go over there, man. If you know, there's supposed to be some good places that people go. Like as a group and stuff. I haven't been in any of those. I'll just do it at home.

But also I'll go to Equinox over there. And I'll go over there. You mean as a group. Like, you know, people will get a boy band. There's like a bath house or something.

Yeah. No. I'm not talking like an OTAN region. Is there something? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Like if we gathered a group of comics. Me, you, Gila, Santino. Not be so fun.

That'd be fun. You know what I mean? Do you like one of those people? Because a lot of, and I'm, I'm, I know I'm bringing white up a lot. Right.

All right. But what I'm saying. I knew you were going to do it for you came here. Well, you bring a patient. A lot.

Like you're confused about the whole fucking continent. Well, you guys aren't sharing a ton of information. For, to, you're anyway, we are. To Iran. Yes.

We have satellites. Well, we're not getting much. I, you guys aren't saying that. I'm in America. Let's move on.

Okay. What I want to say is you see this volleyball player that you. We were trying to find a movie role for you. When I was on bed friends, we were trying to find a movie role for you. That would be really, really great.

And we're like, "What would be a great movie role for Ali?" And we found, have you seen this guy? Yeah, yeah. Let's see it. This won't boy Jordan Lucas over at CSON, dude.

Okay. Splash, baby. He gets it done, bro. Oh, he's, oh, I see. I understand.

Well, come to violence. Yeah, I understand. Valley ball, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in the valley, right?

He's at CSON. Yeah. North, right? Yeah. Up in Northridge.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He put that flamenco on. Amazing guy. Yeah.

He's flashing that flamenco. Yeah. So that's, I would play a black gay man in a movie. No, this guy's not black. He's not, what is he?

No. Jordan Lucas? Yeah. He's a fucking boss. That's what he is.

Oh, he's a boss. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He seems like a black boss.

He's sassy. He's sassy. Yeah, yeah. No, would you be intimidated to playing against him? Bro, game sets sassy, brother.

Dude, there's a fucking boss, bro. But would I, yes, I'd be intimidated to playing against anybody that is doing the police volleyball well. Yeah. Oh, that's true.

He's a boss. Yeah. Shout out. Season. And what's your team name?

The dog. And it says right there. I can't stop watching the vid of this Northridge college volleyball beast. Diva, LOL. That's where we're at, bro.

Beat the beast. Diva's have lost. Tell me. The beat out. Yeah, bro.

That's what we. You need. You need that kind of like energy in the world. You need aggressive capable gay males. Or semi gay.

I don't know. Yeah. I mean, this guy definitely has he said that we don't want to be seen that. I saw an interview with him. He's gay.

He could only, but he could be straight and have gay moves.

“Now, that's why I've got some gay moves.”

But I'm, you know, I mean, 95% straight. We know, dude. No, no, no, no. Like I'll wait and I'll go. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, but that doesn't necessarily mean. Right. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I'll, like when I kiss the tail, I do it manually.

Okay. You know what I mean? That's not. Like a dad, like kissing his son. Good boy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. Like aggressive. But like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. Have you seen the tie on draft?

So there's a draft in Thailand. No. Yeah, bro, you're Spike Lee. That'd be your name. Do it if there be your Asian name, bro

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that'd be so fucking sick.

Dude you should show we should go like movie he didn't rivalry where I'm Spike Lee, right? And and we're not putting you on the poster if we do you're volleyball But we'll do a movie you and me are the sleeves and just I'm on the way. But it's like he did rivalry where I hand you a In terms of the finger the finger, right? So you're saying what we do like it's a movie, so it's not it's not it's hard. It's hard. You think I'm broke back get yellow. Yeah. I know Jack. You do. I love them. Oh

Yeah, I didn't with him once he was a great guy. You did. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You never even said that

Wow, do you know universe me? You think you would tell me. Yeah, yeah, well, I don't tell you everyone I've had dinner with I know that but at least you would say hey Jake Jones on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a great guy He's so funny. Who's your dream guests have on your podcast on bad friends? Oh shit dog My dream guests or on your own podcast Tiger Belly's my own podcast. Yeah, but I'm saying Tiger Belly or bad friends

the dream guests would be Brad Pitt. Wow. Yeah, I just want to see what it's all about To see it up close and personally. Yeah, I am. I want to see what's the illusion

“What's real if it's make up have you seen him in real life before Brad Pitt? I saw him one time. Yeah, is it real?”

I mean, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do and I just yeah

You tremble probably. Oh, yeah, I was like opening a door for him and I got all scared and shit. Yeah, yeah You went in the building up all of them. Yeah I have a when you look at him, but he moved quick. Yeah, I know. Yeah, he looks like a very quick guy. Yeah, like one time I was um, you know nothing about soccer No, I know the world cups come in the U.S. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good

But anyway, my favorite soccer team is arsenal F.C. Mm-hmm You do it. I do it and So the soccer team has like Lee Whoa, good god What is it good for absolutely nothing say again? Okay, so um, I was I'm an arsenal fan

“Here's the thing about you. You don't listen”

You're already here's the thing about you. You're already thinking about what you're gonna say next

I'll get different topic. So when I'm I know your eyes, right? So when I'm talking, right? You're already thinking about something. You're not really listening. Okay, my bad. Let me drop in I you want it you want this to be over? No, I don't tell me about arsenal dude All right, so their legendary player is a guy named Tiri on Ray Tiri on Ray T H I E R R Y Yeah, how do you know that cuz I've seen him before yeah, yeah, yeah, he's one of the great people say he looks like silly McCollas well a little bit

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so on Ray I was at a hotel You met him? No, Paul. So I was in a hotel in New York, right? I was shooting the movie the the dictator Right, and they put us that I forgot what hotel was and I remember being an elevator and on Ray Why did they put you on the poster and on the dictator? No And I had more lines than busboys, but they didn't care about you

Yeah, they didn't care about me. So you cared about me. I can't believe you didn't ask you that anyway on Ray walks in right? and You know obviously there's it's like hey, I'm a huge fan or Can I get a photo or whatever you said that to him? No nothing came out of my mouth I was so in shock that he was a last person that ever thought I would dream drunk meeting or seeing and realized of course that when he got off his floor

“The words couldn't come out. No, yeah, yeah, that's how much of a fan I was and then when I missed my more moment”

I missed my moment. Yeah, I mean so um the other day I was at Petaria Bianco Right, and the dude that runs that created it. I'm a big fan of He was in the restaurant. No way. Yeah, and I walked right up to my god. Can I get a photo and he got a sure kid? So I I do it every time now because I'm not fans of like you know where he was in the restaurant No, this guy that created Chris Petaria Bianco. Oh, he was in the restaurant. It's the one the best Petaria is in the world the creator

Who's it bring it up that's him right there? Yeah Chris Bianco. Yeah Chris Bianco. Yeah, why seen him before? Yeah, yeah. There's one downtown in LA. Very good pizza I don't go down there too much, but I will yeah, yeah, but anyway, so now when I see somebody Can you listen yeah, I'm back I'm here okay now when I see somebody like I'm not like fans of like oh there's you know

I mean simply in a carnival or David Robinson or so like a yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like what? Mitch McConnell like Mitch McConnell like internalize yeah, I call them you know You know like you know some most people were like I got to get like a selfie with Mitch you know when he's in it

He's his zone.

Yeah, I mean but anyway that's his come face. Yeah. He's one of them. Oh, yeah. This is Anyway like Mitch McConnell. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, that's it's come face to it We're going to go to hell for doing the that's a real face. Yeah, that's a real face. Yeah, see they're using some of these senior citizens Yeah, they're just they're using them to just Chinese wife underneath them, and that's the face he uses. Oh, yeah, I mean you got to use that

Yeah, you got to use that anyway, so with it

“Are you fans with somebody that's weird if you ran into them that you'd be starts rock?”

I think probably Marilyn Manson probably He's dead huh someone alive. Oh, yeah, I can go out the history like gangas Khan that'd be cool Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but Marilyn Manson's dead. Yeah He's just somebody that you would like you're in a hell of a guy. Are you thinking Marilyn Manson's still alive Charles? Oh, you bet Charles Manson. Oh Marilyn Manson. Yeah, Marilyn Manson dude. Oh, so I think god. Oh, they got

They got he didn't die. Oh, oh fucking. Yeah, no. Yeah, I know him. You do. Yeah Dang. Yeah, I do know. Yeah, I met we kind of what I was talking to like somebody other works with him for a little bit and then um But uh, yeah, I think probably him would be somebody I'd be really neat the pope maybe Oh, probably oh or the previous one the new one is beef him with Trump line. What about the one that J.D. Vance killed?

“You remember that guy? I remember J.D. Vance visited him in the next maybe died. Oh, yeah, yeah, so it's like”

Yeah, so that's why I mean, I will say look, giddy has a strong handshake No, but now this pope whenever J.D.s out. He's not there. Oh, yeah, like he was in Africa and the J.D. was like in D.C If if J.D. went to Africa the pope would go to Antarctica. Yeah, man, that pope ain't fucking fucking with this hope on a rope. Yeah, he was a pope on a rope. Yeah, that last one definitely. Yeah. Oh, so if you're if you ran into the pope Yeah, or um what about kind of just name some names? Yeah, I'm trying to think because it would oh people

I'd be star struck. Yeah, and that you would like be like oh fuck. I got to get a photo. Oh, Julia Roberts. Oh, yeah, you get a photo I don't know if I'd have for a photo, but I would just be star struck. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I'd ask for like I think sometimes it's better to just say

No, I'm okay without a photo. This is what so here's the thing. Okay

That's how I feel like Coachella. Yeah, right and I saw the Sabrina Carpenter and I saw I went for the strokes Right, and I got front row. So to Mitch McConnell. Yeah, sorry. It's bad. All right, let's go on. Yeah. Oh my god Dude my pope. Yeah He does look like a turtle bit that part. I don't even see. I just see what you see a senior man that's getting a like You used a funnel ideas and a danger through but it should be a you believe there's there's got to be an

A limit. I got to put a cap. Yeah, what's the cap? 60 65 65 cap. Yeah after 65 you're out. You're out. Yeah

“I think so too and it's because I'm 54. I'll do crazy shit. Would you ever run?”

I'd run fast. We ever run for office. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah I mean we need somebody I think something. Yeah, you know one of the five ideas are Craig Craig

I mean I don't know asking me about something. I'll tell you what I would do but here's the thing we have

the first Vietnamese house representatives person was from Louisiana Really, yeah, yeah, yeah, look him up. Yeah, so you can differ in change between Vietnamese and Chinese and I wouldn't say that but I would say that that's our boy right there Use of cow and he's from your your your your your home land. Yeah, that's him right there. Yeah, yeah He's a boss dude. He's a boss dude. We're in Salagon. Yeah, we're in Salagon. We're in Salagon. What's a bailer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you need we need more Asians in Congress. Yeah and more Filipinos if it was all Filipinos I don't think anything bad would ever happen to the world. Do you know I think you're right. That's the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah But they'd be let a you could run the same take a day with Jake Paul Jake Paul. That's my yeah, but we're different parties. Would you ever do because at this is that's actually something I did here Jake Paul with somebody said you got offered to do WWE is that true?

No, are you serious? Yeah, some pointing at me dog. Yeah, I'm saying I'm fucking serious, all right. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I was I something but here's what happens, right. I don't get 80% of it

I mean it goes through like a funnel to me because my people know what I will and we'll not do for sure WWE something I wouldn't probably want to do really I would lose

Yeah, would lose.

I would do that to yeah, let's challenge Logan Paul right and his brother

Jake yeah, tag team us we have to work awesome zone and the winner has to pay the others taxes For how many years just one year for one year if he would win Fuck yeah, I didn't they're not all that dude doing of course have you real quick Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm opening and I would tell you you this keep you yeah

“We talk each other. Dude. That's what we would stay in the corner. We keep tagging you”

Till they get dead me we'll be become a cyclone A tagging right and then they get all confused right and then we both get on to the ropes right and we do what We jump off. Yeah, we just and and we attack them and we talk come down Yeah, we attack that way through the air Yeah, like we did. All right, or we get a drone to take us up all right. You cranian or Iranian

What everyone still has a little bit of a gas money left Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we take that up. We'll take that up right and we'll just collide right into them But would you get them all in personal like it even in in uh and local politics like Spencer Pratt is running for mayor of LA now You know that no, I don't know that you don't know that No, and you know and that'd be cool. I don't know if I book them in a way. I do do do do do what I do do do do do

I don't need to Canada that's something to help them yeah, you ever do that? I love Canada Excuse me. I love Canada. Yeah, or you you you you you give Canadian politicians money? No

“I don't donate to them, but I love Canada. I think it's a great place. Yeah, I love Argentina”

What the fuck are you talking about the best posture you don't even know Argentina? Yeah, they have the best soccer players are you? Where are messy? Yeah. I saw messy play one time. What my amy? Nashville. Oh, right, but it was with with my amy team. Yeah, yeah, played there dude. It was great I like I would like to watch soccer more. I think I'm gonna try to go to a Game when it's here. Yeah, you like those things because I can tell you something about something that made me real sad. Yeah, so when the last UFC fight

That when you and I were at yeah, we're all right. What kind of seats you got? We got good seats you did. Yes. What would you think my seats were like? I saw your seats. They were good Everybody better than you are No, it depends on what you're looking for. I'm looking to get closest to the okay. I Decade yeah, yeah, yeah, you think I want to be out there

They put you yeah, there is a like zone where they where there's a lot of like people that um influencers no okay, what kind of people or people yeah inflars about people that are like oh there's a lot of people that it's like

“It's like wheelchair access it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why it's a”

People that people are impaired like people that are neck traces back races people are on flu and yeah you were right there the only road people where people come out they have other attachments to them yeah you're like in the next section water yeah yeah yeah yeah you have a cane yeah I mean the biff they have the biff yeah just yeah just an aqua fire

basically yeah yeah yeah yeah people that were just like yeah so I mean that's actually right

and for split second I was kind of like why am I here you know me because you're your first fight really so the next time I go to a fight because I love the sport can I just go with you yeah will I still be in the oxygen area I can ask uh Dana if if if he if he would allow me if he allows me to go no you're always around that yeah I'm a fan of the sport you're always around that but it's still in his grace you know it's

like his it's like he he picks who can go the people that you your friends are bigger than me that you had around you are they and what do you mean like like a popularity wise no Gianni's with me all the time yeah is he more popular than me to the to in the urban circles he is they're just being at the oxygen area you have in a good time yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I was

having a spasm dude look how close I've never gotten a sit where you said here that's amazing bro

to cheer people when they come out yeah but then you put your hand out they don't never slap my hand bro yeah yeah yeah that guy's a beast dude and that was that guy Nick a table go to you yeah isn't like in a six fight win straight yeah all for sure I'm not so I like okay yeah and dude you got to see Rose I'm a Jonas when she came out okay so are you serious I'm a Jonas not being honest not being honest yeah yeah dude the Rose Rose just to see

that yeah good right I've said in a lot of different places I haven't always got to sit up close but it has been fun when I got to yeah yeah next time you sit up close because I've never been there I'm going to just go with you yes please I'm going in July if I'm able to sit up close

Then I would love for you to go and just ask Dana like my friend you know wha...

I'm gonna sit him up JPEG of you straight up I'll say you used to fight

you just say that the real thing you did used to fight no no I'll say it's my friend yeah I'm up he's a you know right yeah I'm not gonna lie to him yeah yeah what then why would you lie just now you're right no I'm right you are I'm not lying dude I was thinking about lying okay anyway and I said I'm not so what do you think of today's podcast I thought it was good let's just let's do a regroup let's you know okay let's go through some stuff for one yeah I do feel

for one I'm happy to get to see you oh I do want to say also Britney Smith's dog passed away

“so I don't know I think we can just say so sorry Britney we love you and the dog him was biggy”

yeah yeah and that um he's in a better place my dog remedy passed away a month and a half ago did you have this I have the bellic red what the all they give to someone come over and help

put it down my friend is had to have that my friend Tim remember bezel he always fight

with the casino yeah where's he huh he's it when they're trying to shit with me on fucking line dude he just texted me earlier dude he just texted me today this is what he said can I tell you what you visit is this him yeah hold on what this piece of shit dude I'm not even joking the text he said he goes tell that motherfucker to wash his ass that's going to be okay this is what he said what are the odds of that he goes bro you trying to beef

with me saying I invite this shit don't come into the studio today trying to start beef or you're gonna get god type shit where is that guy I want to get god I want to see what that means he's in you know because I'm gonna tell this right now dude he's crucified yeah yeah I'll destroy him yeah

“okay are you strong right but I have ways I'll go nom dude I think you can I'll build a tunnel”

and a pathway oh so it's okay for you to go nom and just completely yeah we can do it be a culture

yeah we can be a culture culture I go nom my stepfather can't walk back in he's a white he's a confused white no yeah yeah there's a difference between being Asian right and being confused white guy you're right I'm just trying to build a philosophical guy I know there is it just breaks my heart yeah what it breaks my heart that we can't like you know get closer and with that divide dude I know we're gonna do a better next time we'll do a better yeah I think this is one of the

I think this is one of those times where it's like yeah we kind of hit a spot where it's like okay yeah sometimes I do feel pressure like if we're a bit if like yeah it's like you get you get clips that are viral and like you do see that you can't even not see it and it's like and then like people every time you know you'll be somewhere like this video somewhere there's a funeral in the guy's yelling booby at it you know like it's like what can you do but it's like

“yeah you do feel some pressure and it's not in that that's why I've been avoiding it but that”

but I'm saying right but those moments aren't like it's not fair to it's not fair for me to bring in it like I thought about that before you came I thought about yeah great listening I thought about that before you came and I said God like let's let me just have it if this is so stupid that we're thinking about this let me just have a nice conversation my friend and let let me have a new experience yeah and I felt the same way driving here like I've been avoiding

doing it with you because this is so much pressure on it you know what I mean well we had so much moment I came into your bed friends yeah how great was that that was great you know what I mean but we might have not gotten anything today well it took me 600 episodes even invited over there if you go on I really want to look at the calendar but I don't think you guys are busy no no no no look at me right now dude that's tragic I'll tell you this we're not a guest driven show

we've had maybe ten guests in our whole whatever the run oh I didn't know that yeah yeah we've had Jack Black shy you know I mean yeah we get the biggest people we can get to do the guests was that tall orange metal plays a basketball women yam no what's that tall orange man that plays background play Griffin play Griffin oh yeah the tall orange you know I mean oh yeah yeah bottom and see they call them you know the vitamins we got when we got vitamins we got it

you know I mean and we were lucky to have you but it's like it's not a personal thing no I didn't feel it it's a scheduling thing yeah yeah and so let me ask the boys in the in the booth would you think of today's episode there are great moments and I just think you guys talk so naturally funny to each other you don't realize what there's gonna be some viral moment from this that we don't know yeah that that okay the good point so you know what don't live in the

results we did it you know I mean I think there are some things in there you know I mean we had a good time isn't fuck it I just want to have a good time my friend yeah I had a good time at times and that is true yeah yeah yeah I think that sometimes you're confused but what that's what I like

About you yeah I mean you don't know what you're talking about well but I'm t...

it's okay and you're a learner dude sometimes you help me sometimes you don't and I could say that's the same amount about you and I cannot believe that David's paid put you on that movie

poster I think you did that he said that you did that no we did not I would never get you

there you would I don't even know how to do you know what I say well oh shot I learned that a photo shot not your people these guys know how and I went to Spain no just listen listen I went to Spain and I go it's kind of fucking weird I have like two lines of this movie and you put me in the

“center of this poster you any goes really fuck the hell that's what he said that's what he said”

no if you should call him what you call him yeah I don't think you'll answer he's probably busy eating dinner or some is just so much money oh sushi probably it's always sushi with him have you noticed that yeah yeah it is with a lot of you guys let's see what he says that's a nice picture of us let me call him okay

he could be taking the map okay are you guys calling me together no what are you talking about no you don't just call him yeah but you know what I love you picked up for me and not him I knew it yeah yeah I love the fact that you picked up for me and you didn't pick up for Theo no I love to you but I'm a dinner yeah but why would you pick up for me as I knew you were in Kunho's I go we got a situation yeah yeah well it's just real quick we

don't want to clear something up right yeah all right so when I said to you you know me and why I'm in the center of this poster I land three lines and you said oh fucking Theo so Theo did it yeah

“Theo did I don't think I don't think Theo knew about it I think it was they just somebody made it”

and they were exploiting you guys oh they put me on it too you're in you're the star of the movie okay there's Bobby oh you're right Dave I'm sorry are you eating Asian food yeah I knew it so I love you dude it's no one's to blame thank you for putting me in the movie I love you okay and tell the way that we're sorry for everything okay who was you it couldn't have been me because I don't mean a photo shop okay it was something

that I guess you were eating Asian food but no I do feel bad that I did an ask I should have asked percent I don't care dude dude it's well I should have asked bro I think you would feel like bro I'm so grateful that you asked me to do something that you weren't working on I mean what a blessing that is you know I just didn't I put out a sort of a show of a friend I can't say it but um any asked and I did it you know I knew it was Peyton Manning okay and what is it he has a new show you have a new show

yeah of the bad and you even tell me about the bad show a game show and then also my who

was special comes out in November my first special finally finally yeah and go check that out

but what took so long to be honest when you really think about it was there a real reason that it kind of that it did take your while did you like not like doing specials did you think it was like not what it's about like really really well it's so funny ask yourself why I wouldn't do it why wouldn't you do it because you don't like to try it he doesn't oh no yeah because I've been doing the same act you know I mean I slowly add jokes it was just no hurry really you know me and they

got to the point was like I was on stage and I was like I couldn't hear anymore like I don't care if it gets to the lab like I just got a evolve and so I penned a deal I go I'm going to get all this out there and it's going to force me to write new shit you penned a daily fucking Thomas Jeff for something yeah yeah I penned a deal like the constitutes my bad yeah yeah and I did it and it went pretty good and I'm gonna when it comes out I'm already writing a way new shit and

let's go and I'm gonna um the next hour will be better I think I'm evolving I really do I feel

“you do yeah and so um that's why it took me so long it was never like here's the thing about me I”

don't know why but you know I was a club guy what I mean by that I did comedy clubs and I always

sold out even before podcast I would do well so my my that was like no hurry I never thought about theaters or it's the Colosseum's or like that but I made a living you know playing you know I mean

The yuck yucks or whatever right so yeah there's so many great clubs yeah so ...

like it's getting bigger the audience and I want to grow with my brand and I want to expand so

“that's what I'm doing yeah it's cool man hey man yeah dude it's kind of crazy it's like evolving”

it's kind of scary it's all kind of spooky sometimes like like growing up you know did it make sense kind of live on the edge of your comfort zone okay that's how you grow that's how great man

make it take risks and go through the fire and I've always been afraid of that and I think like we

talked about earlier silence you know me that's all okay that was almost great yeah but you know

“what is great dude yeah is really good to be here it's how I get to spend time with you I feel lucky”

yeah and your new show starts win when does it start to people can watch it the bad game show will

start in probably September October where's the new funny YouTube let's go yeah and there's the

deadline all things coming on the bad game show dude you guys look great yeah yeah holy friend we have guests on and they two guests compete together in games we developed dude put me on the

“poster you said no to the game show did I really yeah you did but you know what put me on the poster”

anyway yeah and I'll share that all right dude thanks for having me I love you and thank you for being somebody that he just texted me again spade he face time for me let's see what he says because he might be on some bullshit dude he was in freaking dickie robbers you've seen this laser puts a little cock on your shirt okay oh that's the tit right I'm just gonna hang up no wait one more time he's getting older yes so you did you face time mate I tried to yeah here's the

what's up dude I was trying to save Theo and like get him out of that interview there was no controversy he texted me to fucking fast for it and I was like oh that means save him yeah dude I did wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait so thank you so much for that information I'll see you soon I love you I'm gonna hang up the phone okay all right I love you bud all right so you did get I to be continued now I'm just phone on the breeze and I feel

I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my mouth I can feel it in my bones though it's gonna take

#657 - Bobby Lee

Transcript

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, a podcaster,

Are you out there?

A rave her.

I'm gonna put this down.

I think I agree with you with a lot of these things that you're saying.

- So some?

Do your own research and trade responsibly.

It's called yellow bellies.

What's your name, man?

Yeah.

Yes.

I know what you said that, man.

I've said something on your back.

Oh, there you go.

I only had a lot of pieces.

Something bad to you or something bad could happen to somebody, you know.

I charged my pooch in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that'd be so fucking sick.

He's his zone.

Yeah, would lose.

Then I would love for you to go and just ask Dana like my friend you know wha...

About you yeah I mean you don't know what you're talking about well but I'm t...

The yuck yucks or whatever right so yeah there's so many great clubs yeah so ...

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