#3256 Vanderpump Rules S12E14: Pain at the Pump

high. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Yeah, because in just a couple days, Ben will be coming

here at Austin, Texas full-south by Southwest, where we will be attending the I-Hart podcast worlds, or nominated for Best TV and Film Podcast. I'm so excited to go. Should I wear

“a quilt? Yes, I think you should. I got a cool blue jacket that I'm gonna wear. It's like”

a blue thing swirls on it. Just get a little, a little spicy, so, um, you know, I yeah. Well, maybe I'll wear a quilt because I got one. So I'm gonna test it. I'm gonna test it. I'm gonna test it. I'm gonna test it. I'm so excited. I love it. Last time we went, I loved it. We did like a red carpet, and we met various celebrities, and that's really what I'm in it for. And I'm also, we did win, which is great too. I shouldn't over like that

part. That was a real thrill. But, um, it just was cool to go to a fancy event. It's always

exciting when we get to, like, emerge from our caves, and, you know, dress up nicely. So watch out. Watch out for the world. We're on a way. One day while you're gonna be here, it's

“gonna be 90 degrees, but then the next day, it's going to be 55 degrees. So that's what”

you're stepping into. So come prepared. Well, I'm already in New York. So I've got my 55 degree weather stuff. Although it's warm here, but like don't you worry, Ronnie, I am ready for the Texas weather and all the strangeness that, that's going to be part of it. And yeah, yeah, it's going to be really fun. And we're also, something I'm really excited about that has nothing to do with the crap ends, but just something that I'm excited about in general

is that we got invited to go to an intimate performance for a lot of this more set, and I just cannot wait. I am so excited. It's a very intimate. Well, like, it's probably like just a slannish. You know, it will be just us in a lap. Nothing with her will be like a lannis where you come on to watch her crap ends and she'll be like, I want you to know

“that I don't watch Vanderpump. And I think you should get away from me now. Well, another”

thing that's coming up I'm excited about is I will be hosting a cruise. Yeah, Hannah Farrier and she and a Shea spill the tea. It's sea also with Zach Wickham. So I'm hosting these weirdos over in San Diego. It's like a dinner cruise thing. It's a three hour dinner cruise thingy. It's going to be so much fun. So I hope you guys can come. It's going to be, I'm on the website right now. Let me just make sure I'm not telling you the wrong thing. I believe

it's, it's April 19th. It's a three something called city experiences. So go to city experiences.com and look for city cruises live Hannah and friends. But she's not that's great in friends. But she's not. So go take that out. That should be a really fun time. I'm excited to do it. Also, if you want our videos or if you want our recaps on video, that's a watch with crap. I mean, it's a patreon.com as well as our free newsletter that goes

out every week, though, basically, just a funny recap of everything that happened on Bravo,

the previously, the previous week. And that's where you can get our discord server. It's where you get our bonus episodes. This week is a top chef cast breakdown of the new cast, where we discovered some crazy parallels in his winning and his losing already. So go check that out. And today is the final episode of the maiden season of Vanderpump rules. Second chef. Yeah. Yeah. The maiden season. Yeah. And this reunion cracked me up because it was

like Lisa Vanderpump was essentially doing our impersonation of Lisa Vanderpump. She was she was on such broken bird look out. I mean, it was like she was, oh, port lady, she all she wanted to do was make Shane weep. And he was like tearing up and choking up. But you know, she's like, I can do it. I can make him weep. Let's get him weep in some on stage. Come on, Shane. What do I have to do? Do I have to stand in front of you? Do I have to put my hands on your shoulders?

Do I have to say I'm your mother now? You're my son. You're the new Max and Max is the new whoever he is now. But please put your head on my bosom and sob. Come to me, climb to my veins. Yeah, it was a very Lisa episode and also not understanding what anything is. Throak penis bump. What is that?

What is a slap bracelet? What are these teenage ninja turtles? And do they have an interesting big waiters? What do they give me? She's confused about teenager things from the 90s. So here we go. Vanderpump rules season 12 episode 14 reunion part two tonight. It is a shocking finale

“of Vanderbland Road. It's not shot. I think shocking happened. Literally nothing shocking.”

Not even remote. So we start with Audrey. He's very like, I'm Marilyn Monroe now.

I'm like super mad because it's my first reunion. I'm like being mad about everything.

I'm mad. She ridiculous. And Andy's like, can I ask you a question Audrey? Why are you so mad today? What is it? She's like, because after the past two episodes have come out, I've been brutalized on social media. I've gotten death threats. Okay, first of all, if you're threatening to kill some waitress because she was mean to it, just stop. I'm like, watch the news. Okay, there's a lot going on right now in the world without you all threatening to kill waitresses. I mean, you shouldn't be doing

death threats to anyone, just ever. Like, if you're thinking about doing a death threat, like honestly, like, just engage in some self-care. Please, just focus your energies into something more productive or like something to heal yourself because like death threats, that's just, first of all, it's just, oh, also so cliche. So boring of you, but also not right at all. But like you said, also like, you know, there, you do death threats to the van up on rules kids,

come on. So, but I like that. Audrey's like, yeah, I've been getting death threats ever since the past two episodes have come out. I've been brutal and jealous. I was like, you're not the only one, like one uping on death threats. People are threatening to kill me too. She's like, do not shut the fuck up. I'm talking. She's not talking to me like that. I can't be a fucking started at you bitch. No, you started it by being an asshole on TV, which is why people are responding

to you, you know, on the internet, okay? It's you, cause. And in fact, you were an asshole,

“Audrey, just say I was an asshole. I'm sorry. That's how you get people to be nicer to you.”

Not by yelling at the person that you were mean to in the first place. You dumb dumb. So, and he's like, wait a minute, who are the death threats from? Because, wow, wow, I'm glad you know, I felt like no one's watching this show. But people are watching this show enough to give me death threats. Where are the heavenly quotes? I want to take this to the office. It was Mary Faith. Mary Faith is like, die bitch. You left your comb in the bathtub. Die fucking bitch.

So, Andy's Audrey says the death threats are from people coming from her, okay? Because she posted

things first. And she said, I never asked anybody to send you a death threats. It's why

never said you did, okay? But, you know, I post a funny response from return and I get people attacking me for it. And I think all my bullying is actually disgusting.

“You know, Audrey really does have a future as a stand-up, because she's already sort of doing the,”

you can't joke about anything anymore kind of bit, which is like all comedians do these days. So, um, and Jalka's like, yeah, I'm like bullying. It's disgusting. And Audrey's like, yeah, so then why do it? And she's like, I didn't do it. And she's like, okay, and Jalka at Tom Tom, until Lisa, all about your issues with Jason, including the fact that he had a penis bump. That's right, we're moving on from death threats to the penis bump. And were you trying to bear us with

the time? And you like, online bullying, whatever. Okay, I'll show you some online bullying. Okay, I'm fucked about penis bump. Skip to the penis bump. Can you show me how to use it? Good, anyone? Examples, Jason, Jason. So, we have a little flashback to the penis bump stuff. And Jalka's like, no, that was not my intention all to embarrass him when I talked to Lisa. I just wanted him to be like, I don't know, feel really bad that he had a penis bump, and then the boss should know. That's yeah.

So he's like, well, what was the intention then, Jason's like, yeah, to inform her on how to use a penis bump? Is that why you're telling Lisa? Like, yeah, whatever. Lisa, have you ever heard of a penis bump before? It's like, no, not really. Even though Tom Tom is an old dildo shop, which we all saw me shopping in. And I saw plenty of penis bumps. It's like Lisa acting like she's

never been exposed to anything. When Tom Tom is the old Cheechi Leru sex store. Yeah. And it's like

there are ghosts of penis bumps in Tom Tom, just floating around. You know, you go in there and you just hear. So she's, yes, she's never heard of a penis bump. I've heard of her, the old waiters at pump because they were men with penises at pump. Yeah, it is. What did you think it was?

of Lisa going." penis bump. Why would you need a penis bump? It's for aesthetics. Oh, so you needed for aesthetics. But you said, I haven't explained to me what the flesh light is. What is that? It looks like a torch. A torch? Why would you want a torch or a peen? I can understand why you'd want a torch, kids penis. Want to hear every year on his birthday, that thing slayers up, tortured, kill it with fire, I say. Why would you stick your

winky and a torch? So Lisa's like, I still don't quite understand. Do they use it for their photographs? Oh, do they? Is it when they're about to turn on the patrol art? They need to get the penis bump going. How does it even work? We don't use it to get it up. It's just like when we're taking pictures, you know, like using our underwear, stuff like that. Now it's like, oh my god,

“this is crazy. Like, they're like, it's finally Lisa Vatter-Pump out. How do you need to penis”

pump? Yeah, because like, it just like gives you a little bigger for longer periods. We just like take better pictures. Yeah, it just like gets the little extra blood in there. That's what I'm saying. But when you're taking pictures, are you taking penis bump breaks as well? Are you using the penis bump? What are you on shift? And Jason's like, what? Sorry. It's like, oh my god, I'm like so glad I should have a dick. I'm glad they only think that's attached to me. It's my

new single passenger. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-in-s-commer show. Do you know one of this into me? So you ask him. Okay, she wants to know if you take breaks to pump your dick. And he's like, no, I just do it right before. So you do it once? Well, in the shower, like five minutes, and then I'm good all day. Yeah, because when you're a male stripper, and you're going out and dancing on people, you're not going to go out with a complete shrimp dick. You know what I mean?

What? What is a shrimp dick? Two shrimps have dick too. I've heard of shrimp cocktails, but not shrimpcocks. Well, isn't that what a cock ring is for? Well, yeah, you can use that too.

“I'll just like, yeah, there's like different things. I know now. Yeah, well, if you want to go,”

you know, OD, then you pump, and then you cock ring, that's how you do it. Of course, this is like

the thing that Andy dwells on for the entire reunion. This is like, you can always guarantee,

like, there could be any storyline happening, any amount of controversy. Like, you know, there was actually a fight on top of a hotel early in the season. We don't even touch it in this episode, but of course, we spend 10 minutes while Andy can be like, "Whoa, that sucks! More about the penis, bump, okay!" So, what I understand is better if you were sitting on my face while you were explaining it. Who sad this? "Has Teresa's son ever used the penis bump? Would you like to show

him how? Do you need me to observe just to make sure you do it right?" And, Jessica, you've actually done commercials for erectile dysfunction medications. Like, yeah, I support erectile dysfunction. You do? But it odd, thank you for taking this dance. You guys stop bullying erectile dysfunction, okay? I stand for erectile dysfunction. Sometimes the penis is just exhausted.

“Give it a break. In 2026, we can't be silent about the important issues. I support”

erectile dysfunction. So, Chris is like, "Well, then why are you talking shit then?" She's like, "Pizza, because it was a funny thing to say." And Andy's like, "Well, why are you so judgy about a penis bump?" I was like, "No, I wasn't judgy about a penis bump." It's like, "You weren't not judgy." I was like, "You weren't judgy." You were really judgy, which Audrey, it's so hilarious that Audrey, the Santa of Comedian, who later on, refuses to acknowledge that she was

shitting and hit below the belt, is suddenly like, "Super serious about the penis bump. How could you be judgy about the penis bump?" That's one line we don't cross and stand around with. Jason's like, "You were very hypocritical about the penis bump." Yeah, you got angry at that, Jellica, for telling people about the penis bump,

but you were the one who told her about it in the first place.

Oh, no, that's Andy said that. That's sort of sounded the same as him. He'd be like, "Yeah, it's real bitchy about it." He's like, "Yeah." Correct. I did tell her in the first place, because you know what? I told her in private, I told her girl to girl, or rather, stand up comedian to girl. It comes like, "But you know what? You told her on a reality show with cameras in your face and on a

microphone, "Hi, I'm Kim. I'm on this reunion too if I didn't want to ask me a question." About her, he's like, "You can't say that's the same thing." And Natalie says, "Yeah, but in the context of a photo, everyone's a penis pump." And Audrey's like, "Yeah, you can't say in the context of that, because she didn't take that photo." So it's like totally different. And Kim's like, "Yeah, but I'm not saying that. I'm saying you can't

be mad that she said it." Oh my god, this penis bump fights. This is like too much.

It's like too long, fast forward. And Jason was like, "I was never offended by Audrey saying it."

Okay, Audrey explained this, "Please, America needs to hear this right now." Okay, I came to her,

and I actually that day at Tom Tom, I sat her down. I respectfully and Mattroly said, "Hey, I really did not appreciate that." And we see unseen footage of Audrey being like, "Hey, it was like a funny girl talking that I told you I'm private." I don't care. Like, I really don't care. Just let my concerns right now. Yeah, the why are you talking about a penis pump in front of everyone if he's the last of your

concerns. Yeah, I think it's fine. Like, I needed distraction because I'm fucking stressed. That was my favorite. But I needed it. I was triggered. I'm so stressed. I needed to distract myself by talking shit about a penis pump.

“I'm just like, "Well, you should apologize to both of them, honestly."”

Honestly, Chris called me a bit, so he can fuck off. Back to present. I'm like, "Oh, wow."

Wow. What is it? You know what? Ronnie, I take it back. This is a shocking reunion. This is shocking. It is shocking. What's shocking to me is that Audrey is so like pissed off and standing up for the guys over their stupid penis pump, but was fine with the guy like flinging her down and hurting her back, and the other guy calling her a bitch and all that stuff in public. Like, she keeps calling. She keeps saying that Angelica is so male-centered and needs male validation,

but Audrey, your track record is looking a little wonky. It's weird because Audrey started the season. I thought she was like the chill girl, the fun girl, the cool girl, like she was like down for things, whatever. And she has sort of over the course of the season, and under this reunion has sort of become more combative and like not chill,

whatsoever. So then Chris is like, you know, at first I really didn't care because I was like,

okay, but now I was like, damn, she really said that to Lisa. Wow, it's kind of weird. Like whatever. And then you were saying it over and over and over again and screaming it. Like the bartenders looking over like, "What?" And then just like random people that we don't know, like everyone was looking like Mayor Karen Bass showed up and was like, "Did someone say something about a penis pump?

“I was mortified." Okay, remember that? I wanted to say, like I'm sorry. Like I really am sorry.”

Dot. Dot. Dot. That you need a penis pump. And he's like, "Well, it's the first time I've heard that to be honest." Okay, well, I'm sorry to embarrass you because when I watched it back, okay, like I, okay. Well, I wasn't embarrassed for me. I wasn't embarrassed for you. Ooh, I brought burn. I brought burn. I brought burn. I brought burn. Okay, well, I'm sorry for embarrassing the situation. It's like, "Yeah, I'm just being very real.

You were very childish." Yeah, well, everything watching you know back, I'm like in a different place now and I saw that that was inappropriate. She's okay, so do you feel? She has big ribs. And now she can understand perspective. Do you understand why you feel, do you feel like maybe you're Audrey in the politics now? Because, um, okay, well, absolutely, there's so many things I need to say I'm sorry to Audrey for. And this is one of them, so I throw her friendship onto the

bus and I feel like I could have been better in that situation. So thank you. I appreciate that. That's like all I wanted in that moment. That's like all I wanted and it would have been done. That's like all I wanted. So thank you. Well, you must feel relieved. Yeah, relief. Because I feel like, you know, she does have heart. Oh, right. Shane, Dave is a model slash actor and recovering addict was everyone's favorite wild card this season. By the way, I love that model slash actor

and recovering addict putting recovery addict in there as if that's also his occupation. He is, goes on as I am DB. He's a model actor and recovering addict is everyone's favorite wild card this season. And while he doesn't technically work at Sarah, he might spend more time there than the people who actually are at Lisa's paywall. Marcus, you've known James for a decade now. How did you two meet to involve mutual blow jobs? He's like, well, Andy, we were initially signed to the

same modeling agency and we share a mutual past friend and yeah, and we lived together during the pandemic. And he was the best. Like honestly, I was the bad influence on Janna. I'm not gonna lie. Wow, the mutual blow jobs though. I was joking, but didn't happen. Could you elaborate? Can you explain if it didn't happen? How it would have done? Bandemic? Otherwise known as Bandemic. Didn't give each other hand jobs at the very least. Don't leave the truth. We're stuck in a house for a

lot of years. So he says that he loves the story that Shane told about the time. I don't know that Marcus almost left LA for good and Shane talked to me to staying and Marcus is like, yeah,

“I can remember that night perfectly, Andy. Being on sunset Boulevard, actually I have to carry”

okay. And I was like, you know, I'm tired of this shit. If I hear one more person try to sing Alicia Keys. Don't go chasing waterfalls. I'm out of here. What happened? I carry okay. Like he's like, yeah, I took a big swing. I thought I'd sing one of the songs from Aladdin. That'll be a good

me. Is it Los Angeles or was it that Stevie Nicks cover in my right Andy? And it was just really

rough. And you know, I was I wasn't booking jobs. I would book him and I'd still be poor. And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go to law school. And you know, my sister is a doctor. I'm smarter than her.

“So if she could be a doctor, I could be a lawyer. Because that's how it works. Yes, I've got the”

40 years from now. Marcus so and so, how did you get into law? Really bad. And I carry okay, like, just the worst. Or I'm just carrying okay. Really trying to sing dream lover by Mariah Carey. No one was buying it. And I thought, I'm out. I'm done. Going into law. Do you know how fast the lyrics are for if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it. I mean, rough. So. So, well, and now,

guess what? You now had a billboard together, which is really because of me. If you think about it

and so there's like a picture of them with their billboards, it all came together. Just like in the pandemic. So then Marcus is like, yeah, it's crazy how that worked. I mean, you would have to think Venus manifested for us or something like that. So, I don't know, it's just, I'm just going to start crying and blinking really fast. I appreciate a brother. I appreciate a brother. Okay, shame. Before

“you're short, film premier, do you talk briefly about your upbringing and your struggles with addiction?”

Shame, known for micro dramas, beef films, and they across the street from Sir. What a resume. Let's talk about it. So we see a little bit about them, lip. Poked out of me lately. Sick words. I haven't watched this season. I'm sorry, but shame, addiction issues, parenting issue for broken burden. It's less like the little radar. It pops out when there's a sense that there's a broken bird somewhere. She starts talking out her feathers, so I'm like putting

stuff together. What are you doing, Liz? I'm making a mess. The emergency mess. Emergency mess too. Someone get that straw out of that pumpkin and put it in the nest right away. So, how did you find the train to get sober? Shane tells a story about it. He says it was either that or die and just only had those two options. You want to go down this road. He's like, I can either be like my dad or I can be in that of jail or other family members just didn't make it, but this is the road

I was on. I was young and I was already at school. By the time I was 15, I was just sold dope with my mom and I was smoking crack and breaking into houses and hooking up with chicks. As he lost his virginity when he was 12 and he just was living fast with a bunch of broken people who were growing up in homes like him and he just learned to just look out for himself and he's doing this whole thing. I'm not taking away from the monologue, but I'm sure it's like, it's something he's probably

had to say a lot, right? And so he's explaining a story and he's like pretty chill as he's saying up, then Lisa's like, "Hmm, but how did you end up being you? You shall cry, Shane Davis, I command it. How did you end up being you? I don't understand that because all those don't need to this. Yet somebody must have had a positive influence in your life. Who is that person? Do you want to cry about them? Sobshains. Do you want to tell us about that positive influence in

your life that rhymes with mango slump? Yeah, well, I always wanted to be loved and cared about.

Well, you loved by your parents, who didn't you feel secure? Well, they loved me the way they could, but it's just like, you know, it's really hard to be there for people from your battle and addiction yourself. I'm saying, oh my god, Shane Davis, but you're so good looking.

“How did that happen? Did you start your work at Regimen before or after Heroine?”

Why are you so emotional right now? Would you like to lean into it? Please explain, open your heart, show me your wounds. He's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, and she's like, oh you, are you okay? Is that, is that a liquid diamond? I'm saying, following from your eyes, whoo, whoo! At least it gets up out of her chair and goes over to Shane and puts her hands on him. It's like, oh, you're okay, mommy is here to save you, British mommy will save you, Shane. Listen, I just want you to know, you're more than enough.

Now, tilt your head down into this plastic bag. Whatever you've been through, you came out the other side. Squeeze until tears come out. If you were my son, I'd be very proud of you. Squeeze! Okay, we've got enough tears to have these injected straight into my veins. Darling, give me the IV. I'm youthening. I'm youthening.

Oh, Pandy, someone asked, someone gave me a walkie-talkie for Pandy. She's in the control and Pandy.

“Is he sobbing yet? No, okay, Shane. I said that since I first saw you and I don't know”

that you realise this, that how special you are sob, sob, I say. He's like, "Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. He's not sobbing yet. Nothing's working. What's happening here?" I tried to remind myself, especially years, but it's not enough. You came out the other side. If you were my son, I'd be very proud of you. And guess what? Today, Shane, I have printed out this special certificate on print shop that says, Shane Davis, you have been formally adopted by the

Vanderbump Todd's of Beverly Hills. Congratulations. He has a bowtie and a little hat and a small tiny bed in our mansion, just for you, my little son. I'm sorry I have to take this. I have to take this walkie-talkie from Pandy. Pandy, what do you say? What do you mean, Max? What do you mean your brother is not crying outside because we've kicked him out of the family home? No, don't bother getting

“his tears. He's too old. Cut him loose. Cut him loose. You've been replaced. Pandy asked Max”

well if he cared about my tears when he made me walk through Hollywood to see that off a musician's

school that he never finished. Thank you. Congratulations. Now I'm going to give you one of your ceremonial

Max's patchmenas. He won't leave it anymore. Who's Max? Wrap this around your shoulder, Shane. The way Pandy does. And you always feel my embrace. And if you can't concentrate very carefully, you might even taste the flavor of a poached salmon on your tongue. Hmm. So Andy asks him what response he's gotten from the viewers and he's like, "Well, there's people who are like, "Oh, God, this guy's just a typical whatever, fuck boy." But then I fuck them and they're back to me

about more after that. And then you know, there's been people hitting me up like, "Hey, God, this man, you know, I got this, this man at the time and it makes me feel like, "Well, at least I'm useful to somebody." He's like, "Oh, you're useful to me. You're useful to me.

I've never had such bone density as I've got to drink in your tune."

Oh, yes. He's like, "Well, thank you for sharing." If you would like a blow job, we can talk afterwards. I'm going to offer this time because you've been through a lot. Okay. So, thank you. And I'll be, Audrey's like, "Thank you, Shane. Thank you." And they'd love you, brother. Yeah. So they'd break for lunch and Tammy's like, "I've never seen Shane cry. Gross." They were saying, "I don't want to discuss it by the scenes with a little while." I'm like, "Fosh that." It's disgusting.

So Lisa comes up to Shane for follow-up. She's like, "Oh, we're still rolling. All right. Are you okay?" He's like, "Yeah. I'm good. You're just a lot. You're talking about stuff. I've got bullet holes." She's just a minute. Take a minute before we come back. Go, go have some lunch. Put yourself together. You're good. You're good. You're my son now. One more thing, Shane. I got you something special. It's a lolly,

in George and put a lot. I'll be about that. Now, listen, I'm here for you. As long as you're on my television show, now run long. Run long now. Do you mind if I just start calling you new-max? Thank you, Shane. Thank you for filling the void. So people are eating lunch, and you know, compliment Angelica sees Audrey. She walks past her, and she's like,

“"Oh, you're like so stunning, man, the way." She goes, "You have to. I think that we're on the right”

track." She says, "Okay, we'll talk more later." So, they go, they go walk in. I heard somebody go "Fake Bitch," or "Two Face Bitch." I feel like running, you just, was that you just saying it to the TV? I re-wout it. I was like, "She said that. I heard somebody say, "Two Face," or something like that. "Fake Bitch." So Chris is like, "I guess we've only got seven more hours. So we're checking it on Shane. He's like, "Oh my god, I'm fine." You know, and now they're making fun of

Lisa's Purse because it's a big feathered Purse. It's a nest darling. And Venus goes, "It looks like my chips." Oh my god, I thought it's like so funny. Oh, that's like the funnest thing you've ever saw at the end. I'll see. And Audrey was like, "Oh, are your pubes have pink? Because I want to die my pubes have pink. I'm going to manifest that." Yeah, let's do that. That's correct. Okay, everyone, quiet. 4, 3, 2, 1, fake bitch. Okay, we're off. And we are back with LVP and her new

son. Congratulations. Love that you were able to take him out to Sears to take a family photo real quick. Okay, so Demi, we found out right before you went to Paso Robles. For Lisa's women in wine event, "REU!" Please, Andy, sit correctly. I came and Marcus had broken up again. I think you spoke

to upset Marcus. I love that this is a question for Kim, but we're still not going to ask it to her. We're going to ask it to Demi instead. So, what was a special hug? And Demi, Demi, it was like, "Well, it was a hug, but it was both arms." So, it was special. Well, I don't even think it was both arms. Y'all, do you keep it real? It wasn't both arms. Like it wasn't a normal hug. It was like a classic hug.

A classic. Just a standard classic hug. Oh, like the ones that Shane never got growing up.

He has mummy here, now to hug a mouldy long. Well, that was the normal hug, then why did you get jealous? He's like, "Close the inner jealousy bitch asses came out of me

“in that moment, brother. That's why. That's why, Andy." Well, I tell like you got jealous at”

the Madonna Inn when you found out that Shane and Audrey kiss during a music video suit that nobody ever saw. So, knowing that Audrey was in a relationship at that time didn't mean your mind. She's like, "Um, I mean Audrey and I weren't in the best place at that time, and that was my authentic feeling, Andy." You know, like, I would appreciate it, heads up from a girl about it. And Audrey's like, "Oh, my growth was there, and we didn't even know we had to cast.

So that's why you didn't have to hug, 'cause I didn't even know."

You know, Kim was like, "So we're not talking about that hug situation, and I can ask me how I felt." Kim didn't even get one line in that whole thing. They just still get bit over Kim. You're just not gonna. I feel like Jim is so bad for Kim now. I just, I don't know, like, I felt like she was such a drip all season, but now I just, I just feel like they just ignore her. It's just not right.

So, um, Audrey is like, "Yeah, um, yeah, that music video that I did, that you got you all about, like Chris was there, and that was like a professional thing. I like, I went to Shane and I kissed him, and I was like, I sent that to table. Like, I didn't know we were kissing until we got to the beach. So, like, how could I even give you a heads up?" And he was like, "Yeah, well, speaking of kissing, I felt like I was having a fever dream when

you guys all started making out when each other and saying, "Let me sit a bit spoke." And of course, we stopped to harp on this moment, which literally no one cared about watching this show, but we're like, "Okay, you guys all kiss who beat us. You said nothing with the world's kisser, because you put her little strawberry tongue in your mouth. You were talking

“about the kissing. Who is the best kisser? Who is the worst kisser? Who wants a kiss again?”

Now, the day when you use the penis bumper." Jason was the best kisser. Wow, everybody. Okay, good you explained to me your theory on her fairimones versus Angelico's fairimones. Jason's like, "Well, like, fairimones? Like, that comes from a place of like energy, and Natalie's personality was just vibrant, and I liked who she was, and I guess that enhanced her fairimones smell. There's something. Like, yeah, okay. He liked her natural woman sent

Chris with the other issue." Then Andy asked about the possible three way they were all going to have between Jason and Natalie and the other girl she started making out with, and it didn't happen, guys. Wow. So, okay, let's see here. I'm skipping that. I'm assuming that most of this room if had a threesome, right? And everyone says no, except for, of course, Chris. And Andy's like, "Okay, well, was it a threesome for real or a paid for threesome?" I mean, it does matter. Was it work?

Was it work? Alright, Kim is not had a threesome. So, Kim, I have a question for anyone else but Kim about threesome. So, okay. That's Venus. Tell me about your threesome. And Venus, like, yeah, I let two guys go down on me at the same time. It was wild. It was crazy. And she's like, hey, hey, hey, wow, that's crazy. How does that work? Like, Shane. There's, there's playing the space.

Did you see you came this is? Where'd to get another one? Some guys get all the extra help and some of that. Oh, I'll tell you where I'm going to go down to the toy store for a present for my new sunshine. Yeah. So, Shane's like, Andy says, Shane Davis, I mean, come on, you've had threesome. I mean, please, like, listen to your stories. There's at least a threesome in there. And he's like, "Well, um, but whether it's you chick, so, okay, and please tell us more." This and then

all of a sudden, Andy just moves forward. I was like, "Wait, excuse me?" Yeah, finally, you get to a

question and we want the answer to rewind recently. He's like, "Well, talk to me a bit, ethical, now I'm an argument, Shane." And he's like, yeah, I just think that, you know, I cut past all that confusion, you know? Yeah, it's called a cop-out. And Shane says, like, yeah, I just let you know upfront that way. You have a choice as a woman. Do you want to entertain this? Like, I'm not

“going to be an arguments to you whatsoever. Okay, so what form would that take of someone said?”

Yes, that would you tell the woman, "Oh, I was with someone." You know what? It just depends on the boundaries that she has in place, but I think, you know, it's kind of crazy because I've only been with like six women this year. I've been last year. I was only with six women

"Oh, and this particular group." And Audrey guesses too, and he's like, yeah, I don't want to

throw that like that, you know, except two women in the group, I don't want to say that. And then he's like, too, and Jason Anthras and Jellik and Natalie. And then he's like, "Oh, I didn't even know he's subtitled on Jellik, wow." Wow, wow, I'm actually so happy for her right now, because she wants that so badly. Look, look how happy I am. Shane says that they hooked up right after Pride, because of course, the new boobs, right?

And he says, "Yeah, but then I didn't hit her up for like a week, showing, I kind of knew, you know, when I reach back out, I'd be off the hook because I knew she'd have a boyfriend

“by then." Oh, the hook! That's what they say when they really like something, right?”

No, it's the traditional way of saying off the hook. Who, when you, when your coat falls to the ground? No, Lisa. I just don't understand the lingo! Is this the same as doing the do? So Shane is like, "Hey, Hank, yeah," and he says, "Alright, and Jellik, I tell him about the LX guy." He's like, "Well, I mean, obviously coming into the group, you know, when using guys is the

distraction, I probably should have taken up a bit more time to myself, but in the moment,

he was like, medium breath, he was like, "Mini, breath, I'm fresh air for the first time."

Okay, well, does LX guy know you slept with Shane? Like, you were talking. He's like, "Yeah, I mean, he was seeing other people too!" Yeah, and Natalie's like, "Um, yeah, can I say something?" Like, being single, it's like, so fun.

“Yeah, that's gonna be the name of my new song. "Bee, that's how I go so far!"”

So, Andy's like, "What about you, Natalie?" and she's like, "What about it?" She's like, "Well, you're a situation ship with Shane." She's like, "Oh my god, like, Shane, I mean, are like so close. Like, he's this day, one of my best friends, but like, I don't really know what's going on right now. He's like, "Stair is, I'm like, what are they?" God, I hate going into a new part of the house. And it's just like,

falling down the staircase, that's so difficult. It's like, "All right, so you don't know what's going on with the two of you, right?" And he's like, "Yeah, Shane, what is going on with the two of you?" Well, and then everybody was like, "Yeah, you guys look really good. You guys are so good, but it goes so good together, yeah." She's like, "Yeah, no, I realized after a couple of times, I was like, "Hey, let's put that boundary up with no hooking up because it's like,

“you mean a lot to me and if we do this, have my freak out and spit and run off." You know what I'm saying?”

So, yeah, he gets close to any runs, but like we still talk for hours and stick in the same bad and like we're all over each other. So, you know, do you have feelings for him? I mean, if you're good friends, couldn't that be the basis of something more? And so a very long answer from her is basically like, you know, I've had friends and I missed that in a boyfriend because I think boys and girls should be friends if they're together and that would be nice, but vulnerable, but you know,

it just seems like it's all there, Andy, but he just can't commit. But they talk multiple times a day and they're dear friends and she's like, "Yeah, one of my best friends." But are you attracted to her? And he's like, "She's hot." He's like, "Yeah, play." They just can't do it, guys. He can't commit, "Oh god, poor shame." It's tricky for me. You got him to drink. "Oh, is this more trauma? Can't

commit because you never had a mother who said I love you?" And that leaves like, "Yeah, it's funny

because we'll all sleep in the same bed." And the next day he'll be like, "That was the best night sleep I've had in a very long time." And I'm like, "Yeah, it's because we love each other, right?" And Jane's like, "Yeah, that's you, I do sleep better." Yeah, I'm like, "I'm not trying to throw him onto the bus, but if we're going to be honest, explain what it really is because when we're together, he'll be like, scratch my back." And we're like, "We'll be like, I love each other."

And it just feels right because I like scratches back. And I'm like, "That felt good." And I'm like, "If I could've hurt me too." And I'm like, "I'm glad I didn't cut my nails." He's like, "Yeah, I'm glad I didn't cut your nails too." It's kind of like we're in love, you know? Listen, Jane is so let down. He can't risk his sobriety by getting involved with somebody. He's got to fuck multiple people a week. Because otherwise he could let someone down in the future.

And then he would be even more vulnerable. Who leaves him more vulnerable, not me, surely. Get away, yeah. I'm going to open my eyes. Pretend your ears are tear drops. Uh, pretend your tears are eyed drops and put them in your dry eye. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I feel so much better. Shane and my psychological analysis moved you to tears. Did it make you want to

saw because you realized dating Natalie could risk the thing you've worked so hard for. You're sobriety sobbing to my bosom Shane.

He's like, "Well, you know, like you got expectations that I don't want to do to emotionally."

So, what are you guys not understanding? I hate when someone is so fucking honest and people are like,

“"What?" But wait, I think it's just an insecurity that you would let me down.”

But like, it's just because you're like so vulnerable and you had a rough childhood. But maybe like, it's just you haven't found me? No, he's telling you who's not going to stop fucking other people. He's going to let you down by making you think there is something and then fucking other people. What are you guys not understanding? Stop trying to talk him out of it. For Christ's sake. I mean, I'm sure there is probably a fear that he has.

I don't know if this is something that like, you know, people in recovery deal with.

But I have to imagine there's probably some concern like, "What if I fall off the wagon?"

And I just point this person. I don't want to hurt them. I'm sure there is that. But he's also like a hot young model who just wants to fuck people. So like, he just wants to just play around. He's just newly famous. He just wants to stick his dick in anything that moves right now. So. And he has a lot of reasons that people are, you know, fucked up. There are so many reasons. But just don't go trying to solve the fuck boy. Like, the smata riddle is not in New York

Times puzzle and you're only going to get screwed in the end. So just don't, just, just not, don't do that. Okay, go back to where it'll. Not even went on this cast. But just in general, hilarious that these, it's a thing that these people are doing for games. No, I take it back.

Got it, Ali. It's like, okay, we'll have you guys do a single word. The, you guys can type in.

It's one of five vowels today. It's about, they play a vowel. Well, that's like, well, they gave me five chances. But I said, I didn't get it right. I want to buy a vowel. A T. That's the be a vowel. Okay. T. There's two E's at the end of T. So anyway, we have a end of it. Well, the end of it rules reunion shame on the last night of the trip

to pass a roadways. You broke things up with Angelica. And you even went so far as to lock your door. Ooh, but did he lock his heart? Because mummy is he ought to say, okay, Lisa, I'm going to need to settle down over there. So we see the flashbacks to that trip. Well, I did that feel. Why did locking a door and putting a security camera on Angelica? Feel at the right decision in that moment, Jane. Well, I was scared that Angelica may be coming

into my room and then that's having sex. I'm pretty, she ain't that. Yeah, so Angelica set the weird out. And he's like, yeah, and I was like, you know, she's a few drinks deep. And I was like, that's just not going to be good for me. Also, you thought she was crazy. And you had just told her that you wanted nothing to do with her in this way. And she was still trying to sneak into your room.

“So yeah, he's too much of a gentleman to say that, but uh, like, let's faith it. That's what he was saying.”

So Angelica was next to you, an L.A. X guy. Literally don't care. She's still dating this guy. And she's like, but you know, you've got some serious struggles with this guy. I mean, he reached out to me when you guys woke up. She goes, well, yeah, but like as a friend, because you can make good pep talks, you know, and Audrey goes, because you needed to feel validated. And she says, yeah, of course. I don't care. You cannot get rid of Angelica. That shit's funny.

She's like, of course, what are men for? I need constant validation. I'm like, you know, the keeps on driving into parking crashes. And Audrey just struggles her shoulders. Like, she thought she got a point there, but she's like, you know, that is exactly why I call them. Sandy is like, so that means you guys broke it up. They broke it up a bunch of times, which by the way, this show can't handle two toxic couples. We already have Marcus and Kim. We cannot have another one.

So, of course we can. It's Vanderpump rules, Tom and Katie, Jackson Stasi, Kristen and Croes. Okay, that's a fair point. So, Andy is like, oh, Gaze bro, you're somehow thinking about getting engaged. Yeah, I mean, we both come from toxic paths. And like, we've been like in therapy for the last four months. So everything solved. Like, oh, together. Oh, yeah, together. Well, and how did you guys meet? She's like, oh, God. And Jamie just jumped

because I don't like him. Which is like, wow, what a surprise. Jamie doesn't like someone. So, nobody likes him, really. And to me, it's like, yeah, I'm out of my couple weeks ago. I'm like, I was super excited to meet. I was like, this was my face when I met him. And like, I mean, I don't know what happened, but she was crying and she was upset. And they were fighting.

“Yeah, but what happened is they showed the video of Shane and I kissing. That's what happened.”

So, did this guy come to like one of their live viewing party things or whatever. I mean, a scene of them kissing came and he'd like through a fit at the restaurant. A little loser. I know seriously. And so Angelica's like, yeah, the person meets CNN. So we kind of like a really

office bill because I was like, he's not friend or family. Look at me laughing at my good work.

Mark's like, um, can I come to LAX guys to fence from one toxic boyfriend to another? Okay, you know, when you get into a new relationship and you're dating this girl and she's not even complimenting you on, you know, like, great cardio. Keep a performance, you know, when you need that, because otherwise you just may quit the entire city. You know, and like this girl, she's like, sought after by a girl. Guys like Shane Davis and Jason is like, her studs. It's just like not easy

“thing for a guy to, you know, to be all just secure in the moment. Oh, boo, who boo, who for this guy?”

Mark, it's not this is not the one to be. Everyone's like, this guy is like emotionally abusive. And Mark is just like, oh, wait a minute, brother. I've got to stand out for this guy. I've just got

to work as no, it's hard for him. It's hard to be a guy who has to see his hot girlfriend,

making out with other guys instead before you came into the picture. Like, that's really difficult. Yeah, so then Kim's like, well, listen, like, I'm in a toxic relationship and like in my way, it's like fun because it's like, he doesn't like me, but he does. Every time he comes back, I know that he truly does me. But like, your guys' relationship, like, he makes you feel smaller. And he doesn't allow her to shine, Andy. He wants control. And Lisa's like, oh, God, really another one,

geez. All right, get him into casting immediately. He sounds like a great way to, oh, I'm so sorry that he's toxic, but it's so hard to find a good way to these days. So I tell like I was like, well, I mean, I see some melodies in like the relationship, like you guys have cam, you know, but I'm still breathing for you guys. And Kim's like, well, I'm rooting for you guys too, you know, I just want you to be happy. And Andy's like,

oh, sounds a little volatile. Just, yeah, and it's volatile, yeah. I'm just so clueless. I love it. She's like, yeah, it's like totally romantic. And Kim says he erupts a version of Angelica that I don't believe she needs to be. I think maybe evokes, but she goes, yeah, he, like, you wanted to have the best most respectful guy. And Lisa's like, oh, whoever you are sitting on that stool, it's difficult for me, bless you, to take your advice on a relationship. I'm sorry, again,

“the broken bird line ends here. You have to be out in the cold.”

I'm seriously bless you, though, jocelyn, but please, however you are, unfortunately, we've tried to repair your wings and just not, not for us. You'll have to go to a different establishment. So Andy says, uh, so you're with L.A. guy. And she's like, yeah, Andy says, okay, but you have a baby packed with shame and Kim's like, wait a minute. So Angelica's like, well, when she and I slept together,

it was like, if we ended up single, like, would you ever want children? And like, I was like, I, I got into a relationship, so I guess the packs broken. Well, the bath was that you two would have kids together. If you didn't have kids by a certain age, oh, come on. Is this like what everybody does with their gay best friend? And by the way, I have re-naked on every one of those packs. There's one of those where you just make with your best girlfriend when

you're like, oh my God, if we're 40, and we haven't had a baby, we are totally getting married and having a baby. And then I hit 40 and I was like, hey, no, I'm not marrying any you crazy. My friend tried to do that with me. And I was like, no, because you're going to then make me try to like, I don't have to like raise the child. And I'm like, no, I don't want to do it.

So then Shane, I was like, I'm like pre-deadbeating. I'm basically like Shane Davis.

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, it's called ethical deadbeat. I'm not doing that. My friend didn't want to marry me either. And they're defense. Like, I'm saying they're crazy. They were probably like, I'm not marrying you. You loser. You still have the same sheets as when we made that pack 20 years ago. Shane's basically like, yeah, I made a baby pack because, uh, I'm very genetically fortunate that and she would have my jeans.

They're like, what? I want details about genetically whatever. And then tell like, 'cause like, well, like hypothetical, like if you're ever single in your 40, you know, we don't have children. And that was like, yeah, normal pillow talk conversation. So wait, no, go back to genetically fortunate because you're good looking. Yes, Andy. What do you think he means? Yes, they're hot.

“Two hot people having a baby. What's so hard to get? I think it probably has something to do with”

the federal grants he got for all the research he's doing on various topics. Yeah, it's got these hot. Andy, did you seek out some Fogo to have babies with? Get out of here. That's right. That's right. For a hot person. So he's like, okay, Audrey, you roasted all of your friends, but it's clear that you kind of sharpened your axe for Angelica. So tell me more about that. And I was like, yeah, like, like it was tough. That was like, already out there, that we don't even tell you about for

weeks. So like, don't get mad at her. It can say, yeah, but it was weaponized. Guys, guys, guys,

me every single day, Marcus, for weeks and you're so fucking fun. You're the funniest girl in

“the West Hollywood. It's like, yeah, I'm toxic. Don't you? Don't you remember that part?”

Yeah, brother, but I like I was building you up because you were funny. Mike, my bad. You were funny. No, sorry. But in the moment, like, look around the room. Like, look around the room of people cheering. Audrey. Audrey. Audrey. And she's like, you're full of shit from the Audrey. You were an asshole. Just everybody is to even Marcus is saying you're an asshole. Well, I'm okay. Marcus, I don't know. But everyone agrees. This is a sensitive to this stuff because obviously there was

some terrible thing that happened at karaoke. And he's just like, has his heart goes out to people who get publicly humiliated in small bars, apparently. Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know,

you did a good job. It was your first standup, but that was still mean. And he's like,

"But at the end of the day, we can't brother for brother." And we can't sit here and pretend that all of us were like, "Goddamn, she's cooking her ass." And Natalie goes, "Well, honestly,

“I didn't feel bad. I thought it was funny." And Venus is like, "Yeah, a roast is like a comedy special.”

I've seen him on TV. I was getting a blowjob from like five people last time I saw a roast." Nobody said anything to me about it. Yeah, I was watching Dan and then when those guys were going down on me. And so Kim is like, "Yeah, but you don't talk about your relationship and then go after her look." That was like a low blow. She could have stopped it. And I was like, "Yeah, well, she didn't go after her looks at her. She's being funny." Mark is like, "Yeah,

but you said phase two." And Audrey was like, "Okay, I didn't say you needed it. I said you used it."

And that's a fact. Yeah, but also like, Angelica is the kind of girl who always wants to like

brood jobs at people. Like Jason and Audrey. And then Angelica was like, "Okay, yeah, well, can you let me finish? Can you let me finish?" Okay, Venus. Venus of the hair flick. I know. It makes something happen. Because I will embarrass a man that wants to act trifling with me, but that's just who I am. And but I will not go after her girl." And just like, "Hey, I never act trifling with you," Angelica and Venus like, "Yeah, I'm not saying you're jabber."

Because you're, because you're, because you're jabber. But like, she made some jabs that you on the stage. And just kind of karma because you can't think about jabs, jabber. No, because she didn't jab it, Audrey. So that's not karma. And Jason saying, "I never act trifling with you Angelica." What are you talking about? You threw her on the ground and a cross and threw out her back and then acted like an asshole after that. And then admitted, like,

"Oh, by the way, remember how you asked me for seeing someone? I am seeing someone." Yeah, exactly. So what are you talking about? So Andy's like, "Well, you said you don't come after women's looks, but you called her ugly Angelica." And you said she looked like, "Sit the sloth." Okay,

so we got that wrong the first time. When we recapped it the first time, we said,

miscites, asserted to a lot. We said something like that. I didn't know it was said the sloths. So now I'm going to look up, said the sloth. I think it was that from Zutopia. Or like, I don't know, rude. Let me look, I'm looking up to the sloth. I know he was sloth as from Ice Age. Oh, that's even worse. I don't think she looks like that, but that is so fucking rude and also hilarious. So Ray Ramana's sloth. So I'm tell because like, "Well, I was hurt, though." And I shouldn't have said that.

And I'm not wrong. I'm sorry because you're not ugly, Audrey. And she's like, "Thank you.

“I know that. That's why I didn't react to it." Yeah, but the person I saw was an ugly person.”

And I was waiting for an apology because I came to her. And I was like, "Congratulations on Ice Age." And by the way, said the sloth, his John Lick was Amo, not Rao Amo for anyone who is about to send me. I was going to say, "Hey, he looks like a very energetic. He looks like a very energetic to be the character to be played by Ramana." Ray Ramana was more like, "Ehh." And the picture is like, happy to go off. Okay. So where were we here in this fight again? Well, we're still talking about

who apologize, who didn't apologize, and John Lick was like, "No, she did not apologize." So Andy's like, "Okay, Audrey, is there anything you want to apologize for the roast?" And when I tell you, you can hear the buzz of the lights. As Audrey just looks around like, very serious end of comedian. She goes, "Okay, he's a one thing." Okay. And the Ram was below the belt. And I thought the relationship wasn't that crazy in my head, but I apologize that it affected

you the way that it did. She goes, "And it was like, "Thank you. It was a very fresh and I just had moved out." So it was like, "A lot." And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for that. I also want to say, it was a 15 minute set, and there was ten minutes where I was like, I didn't just like roast them all one time. And I just liked it and three on her. Okay, I did a few on chain. I do a bunch of everything. I even roasted Lisa Vanderpub. What do you mean roast? Is that slang for said something

very affectionate about your boss? No, no, no, no. I just said a lot of different things. Okay,

"I'm not really sorry though because like when you say how it's like not a sorry, when you say, "I'm sorry and then however, you know, oh look, there's builer. What's builer doing back there?" It's a scratching around getting more comfortable. He heard the sloth and he was like, "Where?" She's like, "Okay, I apologize then. You're right. You're right. Well, are you still pursuing stand-up comedy?" She's like, "Yes, I am." And they're like,

“"She's so good." She goes, "Yeah, I'm like, "I think I'm funny as fuck."”

How many gigs have you done since then? Where's your set?" I do not believe you. I just want that card. I just want Sarah Colonna back to just look at her like, "Please kill me." I know. I do not associate with this person. "Oh, what did you say about me in your quote? Who could roast?" And so we see on some footage of Audrey being like, "Okay guys, for those of you who don't know who these

Savannah pump is?" She's basically a frozen, turned into a person. A book that you can think of, "Oh, yikes, boo, boo!"

And Lisa Pride is one of the biggest celebrations for straight people in your version of West Hollywood. So why choose Venus to throw your party? He's gay! Why would you after 12 seasons of the show finally allow gay person to do something gay on Pride? What changed? Well, you know, Venus has been a huge presence here. And there is no split, split end pride. So we decided to let him do gay pride. I thought buy is as close to split end as we could get, so. Wow, I was really moved by your

coming out story about how your dad watched all of Vanderpump rules as a way to connect with you. I mean, wow, that is gay. Your dad watched the straightest show on Bravo. Yeah, you know, it was really nice. And even I haven't watched all the seasons. Okay, because like, I think there were like three that were made before I was even born. I don't know. It was like old people drama, right? I was like, "Whoa, I hadn't really talked to my dad in 10 years. Just a little bit

“here and there. Oh, 10 years, you must feel so alone. So left out. Would you say that you don't have a”

father one second? Pfft, panty. Get your father on the phone. Tell him you've got another new son coming in. Get him ready. Get him, get him. Tell him. Tell him daddy to get a baseball

mid-out. Okay. Never mind. Never mind. He's gay. Never mind. Stay back there, darling. Stay

cancel. It's me on the, it's me. Cancel the pencil project. Pashmina cancel it. Get the telephone, booth and power is ready. Tell Sandra, he can't stay there anymore. We've got a new day coming in. So, and he's like Audrey, you talked about your queer dating history in your stand-up show with that about. And she says she was 14 and never had a relationship, but she was a freshman and she fell in love with the girl in acting studio. And they dated four years. But then she transitioned

into a man and so she was able to watch that happen. And she's like, it took so much courage.

“And I was like, you need to do that on your own. That's great. Okay. Marcus again. He's like,”

yeah, I don't know what to say about that. So Andy goes, Marcus again. I was a prize when you were talking about stopping taking birth in control. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Please, please don't reproduce. It comes like, no pregnancy wishes every time. I'm a day late. And Marcus is like, well, babe. And I think honestly, not for nothing, Marcus would be a great father. And now they go, that's terrifying. It's like, no, it's a good market to be a dad.

So they talk about this. She's like, but he's always wanted it. So, you know, let's do it. And he's

like, well, they're different levels to being ready. Stable relationships for a good place to start. Listen, I've always wanted to be an Olympian. It does not mean that I just get to be an Olympian. Okay. Like, wanting it is different than being ready for it. Okay. I will be the one tripping on any sport that I apply for. So, you know, I do eventually leave my house and go into public. And any old idiot can have a baby. I can tell you that. You're a plenty of them out there. I say,

just drop them if you want them. Just do it. Everybody else is. It's true. Really. And he's like, well, are you financially ready? Is your relationship in the place where it's ready? You know, they're like, well, maybe if you gave us a raise, we could pay for it. No, like, maybe if you pay this more than $10 an episode, that would help. So they're talking about it. Nobody's really feeling for it. And they're like, well, why don't you use protection? And Marcus goes,

come on, brother. I haven't pulled out since college. Oh, you're talking about classes with the gyna's. So Kim's like, oh, my God. My mother's watching guys. Oh, you pulling out Andy. He's like, I don't really have to worry about that. He's a we're talking about vehicles. So Andy's like,

but we're still going to keep on going. What does the social media? Right. It's like, uh, people. Jesus. So now we're talking about the only goings. Yeah, just as it did need two parts for sure. So now they're talking about the only fans drama.

And uh, Angelica never watched it. She only read the caption and the caption was disgusting. All three

of our favorite boys are back together. All three of our throbbing cocks and spread open holes, rubbing each other down all over oiled up, saggy balls and stroking. So she's like, okay, you know, you read that and what do you think the video is? And she's like, yeah, I put two and two together. So I just read the caption and other people who agreed, who who watched the video, agreed at the time. Well, Demi, you watched 45 seconds and she was it was awful. Andy, I came everywhere.

“It was worse than Ham that. Please, that's how people liked Ham that.”

Have you seen it? Is it good Ham that? It's supposed to be great. I want to see it. I hear it's just like you just cry. And I kind of feel like just like, I think when I'm here in New York, I'm like, once my parents go to bed, I'm just going to put it on my laptop and sit here and just cry in my childhood bed while I watch Ham that. I was going to watch it the other day and I saw the just the main picture of it. It's like Ham that and it was just a lady cried with tears and

rise crying and staring into the sun. I was like, I'm going to watch the YouTube Raiders girl. I'm watching this. It was awful and it was like, well, confirmed that it was incess. What in 45 seconds made you think it was incess? Well, all I saw were just the used to and like there was like some other guy or something like that and just he goes, yeah, there was an older man. He was probably, I don't know, like 28, just a real old guy. And Demi's like, yeah, and you're like,

fully naked and he goes, I'm just touching each other in the shower and I just was like,

“not ready for any of it. Gross. Yeah, like, are they blood related? Are they related by marriage?”

And Chris is like, listen, everyone has their own opinion. That's the thing about art. You know, I create it and you guys, you know, you're a lot to have your opinion, you know, just because you're not so listen to naysayers. Who is Picasso? I don't know. Seriously, guys. Art.

Demi's like, but are they like first cousins or second cousins? Like, that's really

effective incess of it all. And Chris, like, it's fine. And Jason's like, I wasn't like even massaging him. You know, she's like, I saw your penis. She goes, yeah, I know in the beginning, I was naked. I'm just like, shut up. I don't think I had on a thong to massage him. So it was totally different. She's right, Audrey goes, she ain't told Angelica that his cousin told the finger someone and she's still went after him. And that was like, no, he said it was squirting. She goes,

okay, while squirting, whatever. So then we see the clip of Shane saying, when I was a teenager, my cousin brought his girlfriend into the other room to teach me how to make women's squid. The same thing, Audrey and Jellica and he said, okay, Marcus said that it seemed like you were really trying to embarrass Jason about the video. Were you? Because you were mad. And can someone

“show me this video by the way. And Jellica's like, no, I think that you just wanted to get my”

point across. I just want to get my point across and like watching myself back that incess part, like, really makes me uncomfortable. So she's like, okay, you're right. I didn't see it, but I read the caption. Like, what do you want for me? And Jason's like, well, but like, what if you weren't pissed off at me, would you still have acted like that? And she's like, um, I support only fans. I have friends on only fans. And it means like, yeah, I support only fans, too. It's just like,

the cousin part was weird. She's like, well, I have no problem. Okay, I think because of the aspect of this, we're like, whoa. No, I was like, yeah, but there weren't even touching each other's decks. It was just like two cousins being naked together. You know, oiling each other up, like, what's so wrong with that? Jellica, I didn't know that. And it watched it. Just because it's a great video, guys. Oh, this is some of the best work. Yeah, they get some good advertised. I thought it was

actually really good advertising the way that Demi and Angelica were talking about it. It just crashed the minute the Natalie was like, they're not even touching each other's decks. It's like, okay, and sales just plummeted. I know. Well, we had asked, you know, in the excitement of the crappies,

when the basically had, in case you didn't hear, like, pretty much the whole cast showed up. And so we

had them all up on stage. And prior to that, we were going to have, um, we were going to have, like, more of a moment with Chris and Jason. And I was going to ask, uh, we were talking to them backstage and Chris was saying that they got like a whole, they've been getting so many sign-outs for there are only fans. So I was going to ask him about that on stage and I felt really bad that I forgot about it. But yeah, he apparently said, uh, and I was hoping for him to elaborate more on it. But apparently,

Yeah. That's why you do it. And I say, that's why you do, uh, Vanderpump rules because you're

going to make a lot more money on only fans than you are in Vanderpump rules. If you do well. So, um, Lisa's like, can I ask something I haven't seen is I'm not going to see it unless it will make Shane cry. Will it make Shane cry? That's my question. No, okay. I don't care. But listen, there needs to be clarity because I'm not understanding. Okay. If these two are in the shower

“and giving each other a massage to earn money from only fans, or is it a completely sexual thing?”

What is it? Well, I don't know. Why don't you give me five minutes to go wash in my trailer and I'll be right back. Oh, I apparently can't do that. Well, okay, on a scale of nothing to white load is what was it? And Chris is like, you know, we're not hooking up with each other. I'm just

massaging Jason's freaking shoulders while the masseuse is just massaging me and, you know,

getting some boners and rubbing each other's boners and I don't know, like coming on each other's chest, but I don't know. It's like pretty simple stuff. I'm Jason's like, there was a professional masseuse there to watch us swallow. So it was like totally fine. He was older. He was older. There's our other cousin. Um, Chris is like, yeah, he's massaging our lower back. Not even getting into your ass, you know. And just like, yeah, our other roommate was the one who was

like a little bit more nude than us. He was the ones. He's like, wait, just for more nude. He was more nude. Did he take off his penis? How was he more nude? And so Chris is like, yeah, there are four guys myself. My roommate, the time, the old guy, the masseuse and the guy who does clown parties. Wait, that was more than four. Yeah, we got one of the baristas from Phil's coffee.

“Wait a second. This is like a gym locker room now. Jason's like, what, what do you mean a gym locker room?”

Like how guys are naked in a gym locker room? Oh, yeah, yeah. I love that Jason got hooked up at that point. He's like, whoa, he's like, oh, wait, what? Like a room is that happening? People are doing this for free. And Lisa's like, wait, so she was saying, it's not as sexy well act. It's what you're saying. And he's like, no, it's not like what's fucking Jason in the ass. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't talk like this. Me 1873. Can we just get a clear, just a

a final number count of how many guys are in this video. I just want to know, I should just go on and on about this. So then they start out to say, and he's like, okay, Chris, do you film with other women? And he's like, well, there is one woman I did film a scene with, but

she was a professional porn star at the time. And Jason goes, very famous. He's with always a big

guy. He's like, yeah, we were hooking up. And she liked me more than I liked her, you know, and I told her I wasn't comfortable dating her because she was a porn star. And listen, I know that might sound fucked up because I do only fans, but listen, you know, it's not right to toy with someone's feelings, and muster your cousin. And Jason's like, that's right, bro, I'm here for you. Is this like, this like delineation between porn star and only fans? I'm not,

I'm like, it's not there, but is this like the delineation of like in the 90s between like soft core and hardcore now? It's like, yeah, I'm not hardcore porn. I guess, but he said he did fuck her on camera. So he is a porn star. I mean, it's like, the only, the only difference is, like, you don't have a contract with any kind of company. I guess, like, what would it be? Like,

“are you independent if you're on only fans? Are you like, it's just hard to get indie movie?”

And you're like, I'm not dating in that, you know, I'm not dating like Sandra Bullock. I'm indie. Yeah, just hard to believe he didn't get cast in that new tangled reboot, you know, so close, so close. So Chris is the other by a man, hi. Yeah, can't really man, I'm son. What a thought. So Jason's like, the weirdest thing is that I've ever gone is that, by the way, the, with only fans to weird things happy, who make weird requests, weird thing is that someone

wanted me to use the bathroom and go and record that. And I was like, hell, no. So like, that's crazy. Yeah. And they were like, just talking about these weird requests. And then Jason goes, yeah, I had this guy with a fetish. He literally wants me to pretend that I was a peanut and I was being swallowed. And I did that from a $1500. It's like, gender of peanut and being swallowed. So I was like, greatly on the couch and very, very, very smart. Who did that? Who trolled poor Jason?

Because there was a lot of real requests. It comes at home with a monoch wearing a monochole, doing a helicopter on his wiener. I'm going to knock this peanut spuck out. Come on, peanut. Who is looking for peanut being swallowed poor enough? Come on, we're all watching too much porn. Just stop and stop watching porn. So Andre's a kind of peanut.

It's stuck in my trick. Yeah, I stuck porn. No, Austin would be like, okay, pretend you're a peanut. You're, you're a bad to get swallowed. But then you get chewed up and spit all over people's faces. Yeah, the crumbs are stuck in the washing machine. Yeah. So then Andre's like, come on, guys. I mean,

and Jason goes, yeah, I mean, look at Kim Kardashian.

“Yeah, tuna and Chris would always joke to the tuna smell like that food. And Andy was like,”

okay, we're going to leave it at that when we come back. I will give a full report on that video and tell you what I found about peanut finishes. Okay. By the way, wouldn't be so funny if someone wrote in like a penis is like, hey, pretend like your, your penis being swallowed. If you know what I mean, but they had a type on wrote in peanut because they were narrating through Siri. Show me your peanut. They still have to pay. It was delivered, damn it. I just think the idea of Jason

like on a bad like bought like balled up like a peanut is so funny. Like, yeah, I'm just doing it so seriously and being like, well, look, it came from Kardashian. You know, it's what you got to date on to really get your place in Calibassus. We'll see if you're being being swallowed. So that's the final things. What do we all learn? Venus is so glad he can have friendships with guys now. And Jessica, you know, now she has like a female, she wants a female centric group that's not afraid

to embarrass some of these guys because men could be trifling to him and Andy and we need to come

together. Okay. Yeah. And basically Audrey is like, and if the social media can start from here

right now, we can start with how it's a good loyalty task that they can go from there. All right, and Jason, hopefully by this point, you've finally learned the menu. Tell me something else from the goat cheese balls and he's like, uh, yeah, something else on the menu, uh, yeah, he goes a shit. Exactly. You finally read the menu. Yeah, precisely. Um, still the, and he's like, sorry, someone tried to call me in my laptop, just like, went, oh, I hate that. You know, because like,

now they, like, the phone, like, they automatically send it to laptop. People didn't have to serve, but I'm like, who is calling me during like, I was more like, I was like, I hope I did not accidentally answer this phone call that I can't hear and sort of while they're hearing me talking about peanut fetish porn. Peanut swallowing. Hi, this is your bank calling. Do you ever watch peanut fetish porn? So now they're talking, um, you know, Marcus secretly ships Shane and Natalie,

and then, um, Natalie says maybe, but you know, if, if he wants it, then he can be vulnerable,

“and then Lisa gives them on a log. She's like, well, I would hope to see growth. I think being”

on a reality shows like looking in a very large mirror and I have to say, God, David, I'm gorgeous. Who? Well, everyone, we're gonna make one final toast, here's a, not alcoholic, Moito for for Shane and look, let's toast. And then it ends with that guy who, like, basically photo-bombed them at the Belmont. They have him lurking in the back of the set and it was like, oh my god, that's like hilarious. Do you know, you're like, just like the guy from that, from when you're like,

from the Belmont, that's like crazy. Jason's like, that's the old guy. That's the old guy. Tell me about your thorn, bro. And that brings an end to the Vannipop rules reboot. I thought they did a swell job with it. It was very fun. Yeah, good to have staying. Good vibes. And I hope people who are maybe resistant give it a shot. Thanks everybody so much for being with us

“the season. Great times. I think they're getting another season. I don't think it's official yet.”

But I think they are. So we'll see you next year, kids. Crazy kids. Okay, everybody else. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. I watched what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amberway. It's the Foster and the Furious.

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