#3262 The 2026 GOLDEN CRAPPIES PART ONE

Coming to you live from the glamorous Bond Theatre in Los Angeles, California.

“It's the 2026 Golden Crabi Award celebrating the best and worst in Bravo.”

Tonight, guests from stage scream television only fans at the largest network on the planet. The internet, please welcome your hosts, Ben Maddoca and Rami Ka. [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC]

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“We've got to get someone special every time we start the show off because it's good luck.”

Yeah, I would even say for this year we decided to get someone who was maybe larger than life. [MUSIC] And also here to serve us some bubbly, our Kristen Jason from Vanderbibreaux. Thank you guys for being here. We will see you all night, AJ, come on, come take a seat, come take a seat at the auspicious desk of Crappins.

[MUSIC] Feel free to take a mic. Thank you. So, AJ, I look fucking fabulous. By the way, I don't get it.

So, how does this place compare to the sphere? [LAUGHTER] In many ways, I like this better because everyone is closer. I can see your face. [APPLAUSE]

I can see you sweating really, really bad right now. Yes, turn the AC on, please. Bad choice to wear leather tonight. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I'm in a polyester blazer.

Thank you. You're all right. You're all right. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

This is phenomenal. And yeah, if you haven't been out to Vegas, come on out. We got shows back this summer. So, when you guys starting up again, we start up again, July 16th. And we're going all the way through the end of August.

You have to come back.

I will come back to this amazing.

They have them flying up on this thing and it's all, you know, it's in the sphere. So, it's like 3D. You want to throw out kind of when you're in the no offense. No, it is a little bit typical.

Yes. Has anyone known? You guys are just holding on for a dear life over there. Well, Brian's terrified of heights. So, he kind of has an ocean handle.

The rest of us are just strapped in. I was wondering what that happened. No, that's what that is. That's what that is. Yeah.

So, has anyone gone and seen them at the sphere? It was like, I did feel like in some ways it was kind of like a life-changing experience.

“I think there's like a part in the beginning where what I thought was the wall and the floor just went away.”

And it was all just a projection. And a rocket chip took off. And my sea started to vibrate. And unfortunately, we don't have that for you guys tonight. But that really was.

It was like, it was an amazing, audio, visual experience. It really is. I mean, we had this whole plan about potentially doing an actual tour and bringing back the millennium tour. But then this opportunity kind of fell in our lap. And this is the most state of the art venue to do the most futuristic show.

And millennium we thought was the most futuristic album. Yeah. So, yeah. It's awesome. Have any Bravo Lebanese visited you?

Yeah. You know, she and a presenter pump has come probably about 15 times now. So, I don't know how many more times she could possibly come.

But she's always welcome back.

Always welcome back. The show doesn't change y'all. So, I mean, you know, besides the wonder of what's really going on. I just love the backstory boys. Multiple times.

“I had the Dubro also, I think, wet and saw you guys, right?”

I had the Dubro. Yeah. It's amazing show. You guys have to see it. Yeah.

So, shall we do our little opening toast? So, you've actually created that. You have actually wrote something down. So, yes. All right.

All right. Now, when Ben and Ronnie invited me, I thought, watch what Crappins was about. Bathroom habits.

But I realize now, it's basically the boy band of reality TV.

Yeah. I mean, you saw the opening number, honestly. Just throw it some choreography. You guys are good. And just wear all white.

Same thing. Same thing. So, I might be new to Bravo, which I'm not. But I know a great fan base when I see one. And I do.

So, tonight, let's raise a glass to all the Geraldines. For the loyalty, the laughter, and the fabulous fucking chaos.

Now, let's kick off the Crappies Bravo style.

“Come a lapse, and somebody yelling, please mention it all.”

Cheers. Cheers to the Crappies. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you for coming.

Cheers, everyone. Ben, Ben, it's good. You guys are great. Cheers. Cheers.

Love you guys. Thank you so much. Enjoy the show. Enjoy the show. I thought this was my microphone.

Oh my god, that was pretty good. I died. Let's get better every year. He's also the best singer there. I'm not even saying that because he's still here and he can kick my ass.

We're like who's singing and who's not singing. He's singing and he's singing well. So good for you. All right. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappies commercial.

So. Let's see what's going on with the world's best commercial. The best commercial. The legendary checkout from Shopify, just on their website.

Just in social media and everywhere. That's how it's going to be. How is it going to be? With Shopify. It's going to be a real help.

Let's have a look at the show.

Next up is our first category of the evening.

It's time. Bravo could not do anything without this category. The best supporting character. And here to present that award was a lead. She wasn't really a supporting character.

So whenever her name is Crystal Cognito, I think that's today. Let's go. Hi, everyone. I want my ugly leather skirt for all of you guys.

Welcome, Crystal. You guys are a good looking bunch. Thank you for having me as my first time here. Oh, gosh. So how's it been?

It's been amazing. I'm so happy to be here. You know, we connected because I love listening to you guys during Beverly Hills. And you guys made me laugh and reminded me that was all fucking insane. So love it.

Yeah, I used to DM us sometimes. And I was like, please don't listen to this show. We're tracking you on this show. Don't listen to this show. I'm not going to be nicer tomorrow.

But you are. But I loved it. And you would write us back and be like, I know I'm not supposed to be listening. But that's a good one on Kyle. You can't get it.

You can't get it.

You should never say that.

Yeah. How's life been after the real housewives? Do you feel like liberated? No. I do.

That's what I'm smiling and I'm here. That's all you need. Get out of housewives. Yeah. I pluck those 14 friends by the way.

Also, right? Yes. They're all fucking asshole. So we don't talk to them. That's right.

You guys are my friends. Yeah. The new friends. Yeah. I want to talk about your podcast, humble brag.

Yes.

“Are you finding that you're getting in trouble for talking shit about other people now?”

Are people getting mad at you now? Let me tell you. I was a little bit worried.

But I never get in trouble because I'm always telling the truth.

So no one ever calls. No, they can't. I'm sure they're like dying a little inside because I give it a lot of to you. But I'm always honest. So if they did it, I'm going to say it.

And you sent the honest to her to Cynthia just talk match it on people. What does she do? Cynthia calls me always. Like she calls me every day to like literally trash everybody. But on the pod, she's a little bit nicer.

See, that makes me so mad. Because Cynthia's like the nice one. I have to know that she is like shady AF. Like behind the scene. Yeah.

Yeah. I have to like get that sign. I know from shady Cynthia. Yeah. You shouldn't shady Cynthia.

“You should do with that girl did on real housewives of Atomic and just start recording people.”

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. That's like jazzy. All right. So let's go over some of these and best supporting characters. Okay.

Go ahead and start reading. Brittany Bateman from Salt Lake. That's a mix. By the way. That is a mix.

“Have you ever wanted to see your face really big behind you?”

Where's the unicorn? Where's the unicorn? Is that a shiver unicorn? You guys, this is the biggest. This is probably the biggest we'll ever see for it in this face in our lives.

You didn't make ones of those for us. Did you? I don't want to look. I don't want to see my face. No, no, no, no.

Go where you're safe. Your safe. Bronwyn's Sunday Cherry from Salt Lake.

It's the first time a cherry has been nominated for something.

Okay. My girl, Jennifer Tilley from Beverly Hills. You guys, she is as awesome as you can imagine. She's amazing. Kiki Barth.

Miami. The best. Muzzy's eyebrows. Awesome from Salt Lake. And finally, Norma from Below Deck.

Mad. Alright, so who does your vote go for it? For me, it's my girl, Jennifer. Yeah, you gotta go, Jennifer. What about you, Ronnie?

That's my girl.

“Out of these, I think everybody is doing a great job.”

I think that Bronwyn's Sunday Cherry really caused the most shit this season. Did it? It was the messiest. I mean, it caused a divorce. Yeah.

So, I'm going to give it to the cherry. Yeah, I'm going to also give it to Jennifer Tilley just because I've been a fan for so many decades at this point. So, Jennifer Tilley from... Jennifer Tilley ruins marriages. She will get my vote.

Alright, Crystal. You get to open it and reveal.

Up first, awarded the night.

Jennifer Tilley! Yeah! I would like to thank everybody for having me here. Andy Cohen, thank you for putting on a good show. Thank you so much, Grace.

Thank you so much, Grace. Thank you. You have to give this to Jennifer. Please deliver the class. I have this on Jennifer's behalf.

Thank you, Crystal. I kind of just grabbed Crystal's boob. I'm the way out. That was not intentional. This is being streamed.

Yeah. Good.

“Alright, our next guest, you may see her as the host of entertainment tonight.”

Please welcome our wonderful friend. Don't you hate what people do that my dear friend. My dear friend. This shall turn her. This shall turn her from entertainment tonight.

Good see you. Yeah, I didn't get the Crystal applause. Give it up for the show. Come on. Just call it out.

What the hell? Okay. So is that that show with Mario Lopez? Hi everybody. How y'all doing?

Michelle, I love having you here. I know y'all didn't invite me back for a few years. I thought y'all were here in New York. Oh, that's right. You're in New York.

Well, I'm back, baby. Michelle, you are so in what people don't know is that we were both in New Orleans. We were back in like October. It was over Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was something.

Somewhere back in the fall. And so we met up and got a drink. And then you were like, hey, I'll drive you to the restaurant. And we got stuck in a parade. We did.

For an hour to go like three quarters of a mile. So we really bonded in that New Orleans parade. And I will tell you this. Michelle knows her bravo. My favorite thing.

I am a bravo, hollock. I'll take any of you all on with my bravo knowledge. I'm seriously, I love every single thing. I even watched that terrible like real housewives of DC. Oh, I love that one.

I love that one. I love that. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it.

- Yeah, and cut. - Yeah. - Something the fence of the White House to get into that party, they're so good. That was a good one. That was back in the day where we didn't know what we had.

- You know, I used to do local news here in Los Angeles

when I first came here at Fox 11, right?

One of my first things that I did was go do stand-ups and live shots outside of the gates of Codota, Caza,

I was standing outside talking about this new show that was gonna document the lives of these women in Orange County. And now, what, 18, 20 years later, we're still talking about those broads. - Right?

- Yeah. (audience laughs) - But yeah, that DC show, I remember when that was on, they were like, oh guys, this DC show's only getting,

like, 37 million viewers a week.

That's... - We've got a camera on it. - We've got a camera on it. - Yeah, let's cancel that. - Well, we're like five people watched.

- We won! (audience laughs)

“- Put it on, because I think that real house”

of DC is a great way to segue into our next topic, which is most cringe. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - All right, let's get to it.

- This is fun, okay. - Oh boy. All right, so the, in the category of most cringe, we have Angels Castrip to Colorado, from Real House Eyes of Vitomics.

(audience laughs) You're gonna get to know her, you really are. - You gotta get to know her, guys. - Yes. - You're gonna get to know her, and you'll understand,

she's great. - We've got Carl and Lil from Summer House. - I see, I see. (audience laughs) - No, Charlie.

- Oh, little, little, really into her. - Oh boy, Jesse Solomon's toe joins Emerald's three some from Summer House. - That was pretty bad, wasn't even a hot toe.

“- I was gonna, that was, that's beyond cringe.”

Lexi would, in her family, from Summer House. - Just her family. - Oh, this was cringe-personified. Seth Marks on next gen in YC. Yeah.

(audience laughs) Oh, but yeah, then Chef Texi and about her pretty little freckled lips on Summer Charm. (audience laughs) - All right, so what would your winner be?

- Well, because it's top of mind,

my first mind would say Angels Castrip

to Colorado, 'cause it was so bad, and so cringe, but if I'm being honest, seeing Chef get his come up and really be so cringy about this girl who paid him dust was so good. So I kind of leaning towards the little freckled lips

and he read it out loud. - He read it out loud. - He read it out loud. - He read it out loud like it was cute. - They just showed a clip of that season recently.

They're like, oh, members, when Chef was being a good person, and it was him being like,

“don't you want to watch me change into my make-ins and clothes?”

- And she's like, "I'm just a little boy." (audience laughs) - Well, I'm gonna back you on that. I think Chef is like, like that was,

the shark tooth necklace and everything that was one of the most cringy things that's ever happened on the level of-- - It is so good. - It was deliciously cringy, I'll go with you guys on that.

All right, well Chef, we all say Chef. - We all say Chef. - But I'm not meant to tell you the truth. And the winner is-- And the winner is--

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And the winner is-- And the winner is-- And the winner is-- And the winner is-- And the

Texiana about her pretty little freckled lips to Southern Charles. Well congratulations, except you did it again, buddy. Yes, and did it again. The show. Thank you so much for coming back. We appreciate you. Thank you, everybody. Have a good time tonight. Oh, well, you know, we have a lot of awards that we give out, but you know, like any major award show, we just can't fit them all in. So in a ceremony held earlier this evening, the following awards were given out. Most mood-enhancing amenity, Jodi's AC. Outstanding culinary feet,

Randy the butler for baking a phone. Most dramatic item in CVS IL-3,

Kierna's picture frame from Real Housewives of Potomac. Best exterior that was never really entered.

Jackson's rehab on the valley. Best, best repurposing of a Chuckie cheese. Jackson's rehab on the valley. Best codename for I'm going out to do coke honey. I'm going to Jackson's rehab. Thank you. Congratulations to the winners. Congratulations. Killing in. All right, everyone. Well, it's time to address the first nominee for bravo, best bravo show of the year. Yeah. So let's watch a clip from that. We're going to

Everyone, welcome to my freedom dinner.

“Freedom, except for Amanda, because she should have my babies right now. I'm already raising a baby, Kyle.”

Oh, we have a baby. The baby is you, Kyle. Find go ahead and start your stupid bikini business. We all have dreams. My dream is being a wash-up, guru at a mid-life crisis, getting shit-based on a college campus, isn't it? I'm 21 year olds. So you're saying you want to be a DJ, Kyle. I'm going to be a DJ. Hello, I'm this is my freedom dinner. Oh my god, I'm free. I'm new here. I'm Lexi and I'm an influencer. I'm in love. Oh, Lexi. I know he just met, but my name is Jesse and I kind of love

you. I can't love you. No, I'm not in love with you. I'm love with my mom and sister. They're under the table. I'm rolling love with lip liner. I'm down with the mom and sister. Yeah, Jesse, your time isn't a three-sum though. When are you going to forgive my toe? I'm a free non-banner. Hello, I have an announcement. I wanted to make it for my bed, but since we are having dinner, it's taken me three years to realize what America knew in five minutes. Craig Hanover is a loser.

Here he is. West is the loser. He told the New York Times is not into me anymore. But I'm just a boy with broccoli hair and a bar stool sports subscription. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to tell this girl, thank you for breaking up with me so I can achieve my dreams of getting impregnated by a hot person who isn't trying to open up freaking mortal business.

It's called a soft bar lunty. It's called a 7-11 girl and it already exists. Oh, I'm to you guys. Time for the gender reveal. I'm giving birth to a taco country. Summerhouse summerhouse. Alrighty. Wow. I felt like I was in the Hamptons. Guys, Pulitzer winning. Okay. You know what? This is also one of our favorite categories.

“You know what? I think we'd love these categories because we make them. But this is also a”

really good. Do you guys also, can I say thank you to the air conditioning? Thank you guys here. And also shout out to James who's running the slideshow over here. Thanks, James. The magical fingers of James. Oh. Okay. This next one is a category for the world.

No, no, no. That's the most promising professional journey. It's amazing.

And here to present it. Oh, I am the worst. For those of you who didn't know, I suck at this. We've been doing this 14 years. I still don't know what the fuck is going on. Okay. This is Watra Krappin. It's not the Oscars. Okay. It's written down on a paper. This is what? This is why we work together. Okay. Let's please welcome to this stage. The gorgeous, the talented entertainment talking head. Coatie.

Right. I was just going with counting. Oh, it has hot teeth for us. She comes out weaponized. You just have to have hot teeth for I got some shit. Yeah. Everyone thinks it's about you, but it's actually about me. Oh, my god,

“you're so talented. Um, okay. No, it's your show. But if you want to tell me. I want to tell you about you. What happened?”

So as you know, never a star always a star's friend. I have been at many filming

of Broadway or Broadway shows. Yes. You know, like a friend Kristen Dowdy has a party and she's like, "Do you want to come?" And then when you get there, you're like, "Oh, a signing release taking a headshot." I guess I'm here to film. But I never worry about what I say. No, no. Because why they don't mic me? If they don't put a mic on you, you're not important. That's right. But just this morning, on my way to the golden crappies, I received the text message of my life. Kelty, my name is Gene,

and I'm a clearance producer for the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, that's a good one.

house that you attended and signed a release for. Our editors would like to include a very cute moment, very LA, where our cast member, Doree Kemsley, like I didn't know she was cast member. I'm like, "Who?" Tells you that you look great and you respond. I just had a facelift. If you don't want to include the moment, if you're not okay with it, that's fine. But could you let us know otherwise the scene is focused on her birthday party in the cast drama, you are not prominently

featured. It's just a short vignette of people interacting. It's not essential, but if you're comfortable

with it, let us know. You did it. Do it. Do it. There's Rachel Zose right there. I died. Congratulations. That is a dream. I agreed. So you'll see me soon. Don't forget to add Andy. That is so you. I love that. It's so me. And let's face it. We've been at those parties with you and they kind of caught a lot worse coming out of you. A hundred percent? I was talking to you somewhere. That's like so exciting. They get to have a line on one of the real housewives. That's my dream.

“I am DB added. What? Yes. Love it. Okay. Well, you have a book out also. You should tell everyone.”

I'm a new book. It's called The Fuck Them Theory. It's available at fmbook.com. Thank you. Yes, Kelly. There we go, Kelly. All right. So your category is the most promising professional journey. Oh, these are so good. Okay. Number one, club club, next gen NYC. Guys, it's a brutalist bowling alley. If you don't have the vision, I can't help you. Eyebrows and only fans, Vanderpump rules. There they are down there.

Yes. There they are. Heather Dubrow goes into comedy Orange County.

This is the most important slide of the night. I just want you to know.

Kelly's waffles and lentil. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I didn't like those waffles. That's not gonna win. Oh, that sounds like fuck waffles. So winners, southern hospitality. Obviously, I'm not mad. And finally, soft bar, summer house. Yeah. What do you think, Kelly? What's your, what do you think is the most promising professional journey? Listen, I, um, I want to say soft bar because I just don't get it,

but I'm gonna vote for Heather Dubrow because I'm scared that if I don't vote for her, she'll get mad at me because it's of all about there. That's ever. Don't vote for me in the

“crappies. It will cost you a lot. She will do that too. Well, she would cancel you. And honestly,”

she throws great parties in at our parties. She gives you a little gift. You know, and one time, it was like a Chanel necklace. I was like, "Hey, I'm okay." Yeah, I am desperate to get on to Heather Dubrow's invite list. I'm sorry. I just want to go to one of her parties. And I want to see her do her comedy. But, you know, we'll see how just keep putting it out there. Just put it out there every year. One of these years it'll happen, babe. Roddy, who are you gonna go for?

I am going to go, well, you know, that I think the most promising business on here is the eyebrow twins. I will second that. I want to go. I'm also saying that all the time on the show. It's not just because they're here. I mean, that what a promising business. You know, you look at coral and you're like, "Wow, you're serving sodas at a coffee shop." Like, who cares? Yeah. These men are serving ass. And they have the products. So, I say,

they're serving everything. Yeah. All right, Kelty. Oh, the most promising, professional journey

besides mine for one line on housewives of every day. That's amazing text. I just want to read it.

“It is. Oh. Wow. So far. So far. Well, I think that since a coral is not here to accept the award,”

I think that we should give it to our wonderful escorts of the night to Chris and Jason. Kelty, thank you so much for joining us. And I thank you. That was Kelty. No, it's not the video. It's just a quick one. It's good. All right. Thank you, Kelty. All right. This was a huge category. And there were a ton of votes. And this one was

It's a lot of competition in 2020. The worst. Okay. The first nominee is war.

War. Pretty bad. Worst bad. Yeah. Next up, we have the economy. Rough.

“And lastly, we have Jill Zaryn. Yes. Formerly of the Golden Life. What's your pick?”

They're all pretty bad. Yeah. Grosses are really expensive, but Jill Zaryn's Jill Zaryn. I mean, you gotta go with Jill. And also, you know, war is like so over. We've been talking

about war literally since I was a baby. And I'm tired of it. The economy, tired of it. Jill is

only had a couple of decades for me to hate her. So, I say, she's the freshest of the munch. Okay. Okay. All right. The winner of the worst is, you want to do this one together? Yes. Oh my god. Oh my god. Jill Zaryn! The worst. All right. In a ceremony held earlier this evening, the following awards were given out. The who's afraid of Virginia Woolf Award for most intense relationship fight,

Earl refusing to eat vegetables. I love how tell. Best possible, best possible cousins fucking each other on only fans storyline. Our guys, it was overblown, it was overblown. The best party only thrown to take digs at your ex-boyfriend, Alexia's narcissism party on Jill House of Miami. Most divisive carb pancakes love island.

At most realistic scene, created to gang up and banish a cast make you don't like the lie detector party at real housewives of Orange County. Thank you. Congratulations to all the winners. Thank you. It's the time where everyone yells at her. All right, hit it please. [music playing]

“Baby, who the hell needs a houseman? What is taking me so long to find me?”

All I need is a lover. Good now with a no-dog. Tell him if you see him baby, if you see him telling. He should all ah. I like it so we married. He was really big and hairy. He had a lot of money and I like that. He's romping in front of you. Those face and probably Trump. He needs horrible. America, we like that. It's all the moves on the plane for everyone to see. He got a poop

a boner on his iPad. It was got to be a fundraiser. He sold the cherry off my Sunday, now I add. Oh my god, we promised each other when my cases were sealed. We love until death, it was hard. I know that I thought that he's been making out with my friends friend and when they kiss

“he falls off baby. Who the hell is my houseman? What take me so long to find me?”

All baby, all I need is a lover. Good now with a no-dog. Tell him if you see him baby, if you see him telling. He should all ah.

When I'm show for romance, you know I'm not a hook and I believe saying nothing to me is never enough.

but he drove above, plus his head through a bed, called me as tell him to quit.

“When I heard him, I would say this hasn't even scarred. I couldn't have been their hunting”

margaritas, I was tucking because my pants are married, I didn't mean to come about. He could have been the worst. I liked his butt. He was boring, but ah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But hey, we're attracted. That's me, it's you, it's you, it's me. He doesn't eat best, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Who needs a husband? What the heck am he so long? To my hand, me, he, he, oh, baby. All I need is a lover.

To get down with a no-dog. Tell him if you see him baby, if you see him baby. He should all ah. He looks like boys and those boy shorts. We're

creating called the scoboli. She's like, "For romance, you know, it's many tuberlogy. He left it when I called him. I believed you, so that's a lot like a circuit. Bought me lots of burgers, packed in life as we call it.

“Every day it needs to be made for a fleeting. Please do not go cold, no, now go whole head.”

Here are more taxes than I own accents, and now I'm a mother from Singapore. While he's flying round, being chased around, and could do lead with free girls. Boy, baby, who the hell needs a husband? What the heck am he so long? To my hand, me, he, he, oh, baby. All I need is a lover. Baby, baby, baby.

You love her, you love her, you love her. You love her, you love me.

The amazing Ronnie Carrow, everyone. On the guitar. Wow, thank you so much.

Guys, this next category is one that we usually do because it's our favorite thing to do, which is make stupid voices and play these characters. But we got better guests, frankly,

“than us. So we're going to go ahead and pass the torches this year. Who are the better guests?”

Please welcome on screen, our parents. But still I rise, Stacey Rush, Real Housewives of Potomac. Gow, Dick, Sector. Lisa Barlow, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I do franchise, you do french fries, Angie Katzenavis, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Okay, my best, my friends, very close friend, made out with Todd, and he farted,

and it was a total moon killer. He's supposed to say the name is lady. God, would you pay an inch in? Love it, you didn't say the name of the moon? Jesus. You're supposed to read that. Lisa Barlow, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I'm a lawyer and a storyteller. Great kind of her. Southern John.

Mama, Mama Sita. Nick, Vaston Bee, Beth Vaston Brie. Love island USA. How do you pronounce it? My show, Nat Yours. It wasn't for the past 30 days. Zach, you're going to be valid. Okay, she was cheating on Martina with the Haitian Martisha. That's when you tell me everything. You were with Haitian Martisha.

You used to take them to the motel, pay for the motel, bring champagne, and had to give him a coffee machine as a gift. You forgot about that little bit, bitch. I dreamt of them, we're a real housewives of Miami, that's it.

Oh my god, yeah. Okay. She was cheating on Martina with the Haitian Martisha. That's when you told me everything. You were with Haitian Martisha. You used to take them to the motel. You paid for the motel, bring the champagne, and had to give him a coffee machine as a gift. You forgot about that little bit, bitch.

Adriana Demora real housewives of Miami. That was a good one. I'm so happy for Adriana. I know she's at home right now and we're not going to look.

“Yes, finally. Finally. Oh, look. Oh my god. Is that a man to Francis?”

It's like we just benefited you here. I'm manifested there since the man to Francis. I was, I was manifesting in moment, don't sit, for a moment. Guys, don't call me a manifesto or my own home. Okay, this is, this is a real treat what's about to happen now.

We've never had so many guests up all at once and I don't even know what to say.

The category is best newbie. And please welcome a whole bunch of people from Vanderpump Ruys. Mark is Jason Cree. Yeah, come on. I got here. All right, here's what for your end. So when you want to talk, this is a literal talking. So just, just, just, Sarah. I'll give you mine, too. You guys, congratulations. Yes. Congrats, you guys. Shane, you started on. That's good.

Well, I feel like first and foremost, we need to hear the Shane Davis laugh. You guys, congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations on your freshman season on Vanderpump Ruys. Have you guys been enjoying the ride? Feel free to move the microphones down the line.

“That's newbie. How about you Natalie? Have you enjoyed your first ride?”

Oh my god, it's been incredible. I'm so grateful. Thank you guys.

Oh, sorry. This is my, no, it's been incredible. Thank you guys so much. I feel the love. Thank you. Can you, can you do like three notes of passenger? Can you, can you do the part we go like this? I'm going to haunt me for a life. Good. All right, well, well, we'll do it like we're actual entertainment reporters. So how about you? So Chris, how has the only fans been going with with your cousin?

It's been pretty good, y'all. I hope you're subscribed. I appreciate the love, though. Thank you so much. Next, oh, you're on a grind name right here, by the way. Just you wait. Make sure you're subscribed

“to their only fans. By the way, I think it's free, right? It's free. It's free. I already”

stood right before you cost you nothing. It's free to walk in the door, but then if you point it anything, it's like, that'll be $50. I'm like, excuse me, sir. Just what do you got to say? Thank you, guys. Thank you for subscribing. Thanks for being here, honestly. You guys are cool, so this is awesome. Yeah, but do this. Beat us, say something. They want to hear you, man. That was actually good.

Anyways, thank you guys for supporting our season. We'll never be the OGs, but I feel like we're in a

lane of our own, and we're killing it. At least I am. Thank you guys so much for supporting us. It's so awesome that you guys are out here. Thanks for giving us a chance. All we're doing is just living our lives right now. Just going along with the flow. My man, Shane Davis, is going to win

Good. Kim, are you and Marcus together at the moment? Yeah, yes. I'm just over here for safety, because he has a

“strength. Oh, here we go. Hey, guys. Look, look what I got. Can we burn for a day?”

Well, she got Marcus got him, man. Oh, bracelet. Okay, let's do, let's do the nominees, and we'll just pass these down. I think that's actually just enough. Shane Davis, you just read from the top. All right, for Best Nubi, we have all the next Jen and YC kids. All right, now. Angela Oakley, Real Housewives of Atlanta. Michael Spinja, Southern Hospitality. Did I butcher that? Michael Spinja, sorry. I'm just a boy.

Rachel Zo, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the queen. We got Shane Davis, the Vanderpump rules, let's go, baby. And then we got Wittner, Slag's ball from Southern Char, we'll do, we'll do. I'm a boy. Yeah, I nailed it. All right, all right, who wants to? I'll open it and then we'll all read it at the same time. All right, it's very exciting. Two, three, Rachel Zo, Rachel Zo, Rachel Zo, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Plus, since she wasn't here to accept it, we'll you take the crap beyond. Yes, Shane, take that crap. That's for you, Shane. No, we love you, baby. Yeah, yeah, buddy, yeah, buddy.

The constant Vanderpump rules, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for the surveys, for backup rules. Thank you, everyone. Thank you guys so much for coming out. Thank you guys. We fucking love your guys.

“All righty, well, that was, that was amazing. Why do you remember when Vanderpump rules first came”

out like 12 years ago, how much we hated that show, do you remember? Oh, yeah, I was like, fuck this show, the killing the network, what are they trying to do to my housewives? So, I refuse. I refuse. Like six months later, I think, oh my god, a lot of those times like that. And then when they recast it, I was like, fuck them, what are they doing to my show? Okay, I had six months later, but now we're just older and I like want to take care of all of them, you know?

I mean, I wouldn't be a very good parent because I'm like, why aren't you wearing your only

“fans QR code? You should wear it. Okay, all right. So, it is now time to go on to a very important”

category. This is the category of most slanderists and here is the next evolution from Vanderpump rules from the valley, Zach and Jasmine. Yes, all right, you guys. Oh, God. Okay, she said, don't be weird before we come up here,

and you know, yeah. So, Zach, we met you, obviously, and love you. This is our first time.

Yes. I know, so great to meet you. Should we start with you doing the Jasmine voice? Oh, yes, do it for me, please. She hasn't. I don't have a Jasmine voice on any of the different ways. No, that one's my favorite. Can I just say we just filmed the app for showing that it's exactly what she did? Well, have the second season go. It's a lot of you are

you done shooting? The third season, the third season. We're doing like interviews.

The second season. How to have different. Yeah. Second season, I'm a circus. It all blends after a show. It really does. Like what? It's happening in life.

You're first Jack's last season. I think it's the best one. I love this season so much.

I'm like so happy about it. Okay, so is there somebody or like maybe two people that you want to see more of in season three? Jasmine and Zach. Let's just say so great. I think it's so nice. Yeah, that's true. It was kind of ass. It's lucky because we know what's going on. So I

“think I'm just watching it from a lens like what? That's what you're giving them? Like, what?”

I was actually, I noticed that Zach. I felt like you were brutally underrepresented in the trailer. Both of you were, yeah, especially since Zach had a tremendous moment last season. The fuck you. Where he stood up to Jack's tailor. Whatever. Fine. I'll take that. No justice.

Like, there was some Zachy Ratia happening in the trailer. Well, we're so glad that you're

both here. And we know you almost work. I'm going to be able to make it here. So we're so glad you're able to get here. You know, you had a party at BravoCon, like a dinner with you guys, and a friend of mine, I guess, went and left her gift bag in my room. And I just wanted to say, thank you so much for the edge cream. You're wrong. It was great.

“I got so many great black products. I went to the whole back. Oh, my goodness. I was trying it all.”

All right. So as I thought before we announced the category, I do want to say, I ordered a special suit for this event. Really. I did. And it came in the mail. Okay. So I wanted to start with this because it said, "Fuck eyes." Yes. But the problem. Yes, Zach. Yes, I support that. Yeah. The reason my suit currently does not reflect that is because it said, "Fuck on the front and ice on the back." So I looked like an agent. You were a sinner on the

prison and an agent on the back. I'm telling Timu, you got to give me the 499 back. So now we can go with the category. Sorry, because I didn't make sure we said, "Fuck eyes at least once during this." Thank you. Both words on the back. Next time. Okay. All right. Here we go. Most lander is yes. Okay. Let's go. Former fatty photos reveal that Jen was a little heavier. Now Jasmine, how do you feel about it? It was shady. It was, you know what? I'm not going to

come. Also, I feel bad. But there's no way once. The Millennials in this group. But it is like a loose

“camera. I feel bad. Well, that's why it's so funny. Oh no. This picture makes your look a little”

bit heavier. Everything's fair game when you're a reality. Yeah. Yeah. You want to talk about former fatty photos, get in line. I mean, this was nothing. I was like, "How long have you been on that medication?" "Have me some." It looked like she looked straight. It looked like she looked straight. She looked like one before the male P1. Yes. No, that's you. Oh, you okay. Oh, sorry. Adriana, accuses Marisol of having dry, wrinkly knees. That was good. But it's kind of sad because she

did have surgery. Didn't she say she has surgery? She went to some kind of ocean. She said she was like, "I have surgery." You mean, you said I have wrinkly knees? Yeah. I don't know if it was surgery or meat fillers. I don't know if you can get that, but I saw her Instagram. She was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna get something done. If it's a doctor, knees, a doctor, knee guy." We're gonna need that one. Doctor, you did it live on Instagram, so I don't know. Well, I mean, I did do air

sculpt with both Brittany and Kristen. And they told us about Jimmy McCarthy getting fat injected

into her hands. Oh, God. So you can get fat basically injected anywhere on your body. Anyway,

you gotta, you immediately pointed down at your weiner and you can get it injected there as well. That is a possibility. Yes, they can't. They can't? That's something we're doing now. That was the season. I'll say that. Okay. Yeah, we decided who we wanted to talk about. Grisel. What is it? Grisel. You don't have to feel about her. But you know, Grisel accuses angel being a - She's a catfish.

- Jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, jiselle, j - She's a catfish. - She was not cute.

- She was not cute. - She was not cute.

"Oh my god, can we take a picture like, you know we were a fan?"

She looked us up and down and said, "Oh, okay, and she was like,

“"walking like this stiff to take the photo."”

- I was like, "Damn, I know, that is-- - Remember that? - We were a pig. - Not cute. - We were like girls.

- 'Cause I liked her. Oh, they're just cute, okay. - She's also an asshole. - Giselle, a cute angel being a catfish. - Yeah.

- So I wanted to do both of Lisa Barlow's.

- Okay, do it. - Love Lisa. - Because I met her at BravoConn and she loved me. And so I was like, "You know what? "I'm gonna give you some love too."

“So Lisa Barlow accuses Bronwyn of sucking”

the gout effect, afflicted dick. (audience cheering) - Gout dick. - Gout dick bitch. - Gout dick bitch.

(laughing) That's how I would have said it. - Love Lisa. - Oh my God. - I'm not gonna lie.

Lisa is one of those people where I feel like she's very misunderstood because she is just... - Yeah. - So random. - No.

- Do I need to watch it more? - I love to her, BravoConn. She was so cute. - I need to stop speaking. - Unless you're a banner blank,

you're just doing understand Lisa Barlow. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great.

- I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great.

- I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great.

- I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great.

- I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. - I think that's great. a friend. That's landerous. People blew Lisa Barlow, but like, where else are you gonna get that down? Yeah. But it's classic. It's not coming from college richards. I love it. Okay. So cut it straight. All right. We went far too long. Yes, sorry. No, it's okay. We love that guys. We're amazing. All right. We're gonna find the winner of most slaggers. Okay.

All right. The winner is Lisa Barlow. Claims that Todd Bartz while he's making out with a friend. Congratulations to Lisa Barlow for being very slandered.

“And then it's back for Lisa, and Jasmine. So since she's not here, I think I nominated the third most. Can I just have one? Yes, just in case I don't win. By wait. Zack has the third most number of nominations tonight.”

Very impressive. Thank you, to Zach and Jasmine. We love you both. I get off the mic. It's an opportunity. Can we go in meeting immediately on like Jackson? Thank you. Zach and Jasmine. We love you guys. Oh my god. Well, this is nice to meet you. Okay, all right. Okay. So we have another clip from one of our nominees for Best Show, the evening. So I'll gather round for next gen NYC. This season on next gen NYC. My name is Ariana Beerman. I got sick of homelessness, the smell of B and getting robbed. So I left my mom and came to New York City.

Welcome to New York. It's a city with personality.

Let's go to a party so you can meet my friends. This is Eva. Oh my god. You're in a fashion. I would never know it from looking at you.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I'm putting hearts on jogging pants. Guys, this is Charlie. He's into crypto. And skateboarding and presenting my dad and like just just for Bluetooth speaker robbery. A bang if you want. Gross. My boyfriend's a fried chicken billionaire. Did I mention I've got Bluetooth speakers? Guys, this is Georgia. She doesn't wash her hands. You're a conspiracy. I'm a party planner. You ever heard of a bowling alley called Club Club? Well, you will. Shake on it. You know.

You already know Riley. Oh, no. I lost my phone. Thank god I have three in my bag. Tell him my name. Tell him my name. This is Gia. Say it louder. This is Gia. Okay. Now say New Jersey is the garden state. Hey, stop bossing around. That one is too long. I can't repeat it. And I'm Chad. Brooks is dad. I just wanted you kids to know. Does anybody here talk about pants, sexualism?

I'm open for it. I'm really exploring myself lately.

No, you're not iconic.

“Finally, I'm an independent woman in New York City starting new chapter.”

Be a famous fashion designer like whoever makes old navy clothes. Ding dong Ariana, your mom is here. Hi, honey. It's your mom, a kim. Meet your couch for a while. By the way, I've eaten your hallway. I got a huge styrofoam, a chic flight sweet to you on the airport. Damn it. Next gen New York City, everyone. Next gen New York City. We wish you the best of luck. Next gen.

Wow. In white race. Next gen New York City actually got a very large number of votes. And by the way, thank you. We had to think about 20,000 people who voted this year. So thank you to everyone who voted. And now a new category, we're very excited about this one. And we can think of, oh, there's no one better to present it.

For the inaugural Mother of the Year award, please welcome the hosts of sexy unique podcast, Lauren Gary. Hello. Hello. We have a mic. Hi. Hi everyone. Hi Los Angeles.

Oh my god. How exciting to have like a million Vanderpump rules people here tonight.

And you guys also. The most thrilling night of my life so far this year was rolling up and seeing the entire cast of Vanderpump rules in front of me. It's seen change Davis.全部ing. All of them are so hot. They are really hot. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I find that in general, Bravo, Leopardy's no matter what the show or somehow all super hot. Yeah. They're all beyond hot or than you could ever imagine.

My 12 set meeting is directly across the street from Sir. Oh, so of course you go to the website. You're so threat. You're so chic. I love that you go to that A two weeks ago. I was walking in to go to my meeting and I saw Venus just sitting on the curb outside of Sir. Just like, look, you're eating a magic hour. And I went, bang off.

“And you're like, hi. And I was like, that's why I'm going to be meeting.”

Yeah. Well, I want you to listen to your podcast. If you're not listening to sexy unique podcasts, also known as "Supp." You're actually missing out on a lot. Well, you guys also cover way more than just Vander Pump rules. You guys do all this amazing video content. So definitely an awe of you guys.

And you guys go on tour and everything.

Yeah. You guys are always touring.

Yeah. So congratulations on the growth of your show. Thank you. You guys are like killing it. You guys are good to come up in the trenches.

Like, I feel like we all started around the same time. We did. Yeah. We'll be able to renegade the first people to be doing it. Yeah.

We met each other like over a decade ago. That's crazy. It really is. And we stand together.

“And parties are like, let's talk about these kids and the music.”

Yeah. And you know, you know. Yeah. Exactly. Well, having yours colleagues.

All right. So we want your opinions on these. Go ahead and start reading. This is Mother of the Year. Mother of the Year.

Mother of the Year. Mama Joyce, retroactively for being right. Real housewives of Atlanta. Muzzy, real housewives of Salt Lake City, and that sweatshirt I'd like to point out. How did you feel about Muzzy?

Hereditary, I mean, I love her because she's horror. Yeah. Pure horror, a great mother. Amazing parent. That's a great idea.

It's a great idea. Yes. It's hard to really come in after L.D. season, but she managed to do it. She made L.D look like amazing mom. I was like, that's power.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Patricia, Southern charm. Plastic.

Plastic. Plastic. Plastic. It's a classic. Rachel's dough for teaching her kids to moisturize at camp.

Real housewives of Beverly Hills.

You know, it's, you know, a mother's job is never done, and Rachel's no proof that when

she taught her son that you always have to moisturize when you're at sleepboy camp. Yes. You can never start. You can never start too young. No.

No. Let's get men moisturizing really young, right? Yeah. Let's get them started. Okay.

We're also growing up in better times.

your body. I didn't have that. To the sun.

“It's like when you look at your book photos from like the 1950s, and everyone”

looks like they're 40 something.

That might be just like, hey, they're kindergarten, they're like, oh my god, I have a walker and a little bit. And the final nominee. Vida, the valley, Persian style. I mean, classic.

She's another classic, the institution. Yes. She's really good. The red lip that I terrorized so many people. She's got a really strong lip combo happening, and I respect that.

She's making her face right now, wherever she is, she's making this face. It's so bold. Who are you? Who are you?

Um, okay, so who would you guys pick?

It's, I mean, it's very obvious, it's a no-brainer for us, it's Massey. Massey, I would agree. I would agree. I think this was a big year for Massey.

“I would say, Massey, very close, honestly, Mama Joyce, you do, it's hard to not give”

a tour retroactively, but I think, Massey, Massey just represents like, mothering in all its facets. Yes. The dark side. The darker side.

And what's incredibly important, and something that we noticed throughout the season of Rollsick, is that not only Massey, but Bronwyn and Bronwyn's daughter had the same Bob. Yes. They were a bit Lawrence Welk.

Sister.

That was a generational Bob, and like, that only starts with a powerful mother.

Yeah, it always does. It starts with one of them. You know what they say? You are in the womb, as a woman, you are, you were in the womb of like many grandmothers who your Bob was also in the womb of the many grandmothers.

It starts with a new generation. The Bob starts with a little bit of a generational Bob. Do the hours. And the winner of Mother of the Year. Rachel Zow for teaching to Rachel Zow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm shaking.

Wow. You just want best movie. That's not even fair. I really think the award. That's crazy.

It's crazy. She's here. She's hanging upside down from the ceiling. Yeah, she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from

the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's

upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's

upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's upside down from the ceiling, so she's hanging upside down from the ceiling, so she's you watch Raiders? Oh my god, it was so good I was so excited because you know we haven't done a show

really since that ended and I'm so excited to get here and talk about it and talk about who won. Those sailors, those spoilers, we will not spoil anything. Get back to her watcher, we'll call them mouth, we're all murdered y'all dead y'all dead y'all. Follow me down into the way where the flowers bloom. See all the secrets buried where they lie, hiding beneath the scarlet moon.

His body lies with flowers grow, his body lies with flowers grow. This was the year we had some good housewives, but the gamers continue to rub the traitor had us dig metines, and overalls and cheesy snake tattoos.

“The secret traitor was Donna Kelsey, but she couldn't lie and she was sent away.”

We wish they voted off somebody else, like my girl rapper went down on his break.

Jam Jam was killed by Lisa in plain sight, and Mark had us asking who?

“Colt and the stalker that we all despise, Madby's face, full's have really low IQs.”

Tara and Johnny failed so many times,

running during the head of feud, erection never trust his ears or eyes.

I know that laugh, I know that signature, come on do. Round table eyes, there knows his bro, round table eyes, and trove votes. Round table eyes, there knows his bro, round table eyes, and trove votes. Ladies and gentlemen, oh Shane, great job. Ladies and gentlemen, Shane won the boys.

That was written by our friend Yolo Riddle, who's here tonight, nice on the yellow. Alright, let's get messy. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two, see you over there, suckers. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's Premium Sponsors.

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