Why I Feel Scared Because My Entire Life Changed One Day — The Emotional Healing That Helped Me Reinvent My Life with Love, Purpose, and New Adventure

for more, knowing something is missing.

Then this podcast is for you, so here's your host, Joe Mitaghan. Hello, and welcome to we.

“Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized something inside you has changed?”

Not your job, not your marriage, not your bank account, but you. The things that once mattered, don't seem to matter anymore. The dreams you've spent years chasing suddenly feel empty. The life you worked so hard to build, no longer feels like the life you were meant to live. And for me, that was really frightening.

Because when something changes inside us, we naturally begin questioning everything outside

of us. We wonder why our relationships feel different, why our career no longer fulfills us, why we feel disconnected from the people we love, why we suddenly feel drawn towards a different life. For many people, these moments feel like they're falling apart.

But what if they're actually the beginning of waking up? What if the fear you're experiencing isn't to sign that something is wrong? What if it's the sign that your soul is inviting you to become the person you were created to be? In today's episode, I want to share my own journey through this experience.

The emotional healing that began long before my life changed on the outside. The quiet transformation that taught me how to let go of the person I thought I had to be so I could become the person I've been patiently called to be by God all along.

Because sometimes the most important changes in our life don't begin with what happens

around us. They begin with what awakens within us. My name is Joe Mitica, and from around the world, welcome to Wee. It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon here in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm super excited to be with you today.

You know, life has just been an amazing experience these past couple of weeks. My heart is full. The Weepodcast is exploding around the globe, and every once in a while I wake up and

“I realize, you know, it's truly making a difference, and that's what's important to me.”

People have asked me, they say, Joe, how many downloads do you have? And I say, you know what, I don't know, and I don't really care why, because I'm not doing it for the downloads. I'm doing it for the one person that right now is listening to this podcast, and they need a friend, or they need inspired, or they need some hope, or they need someone to

sit next to them while they're celebrating their life. That's why I'm doing the Weepodcast, and I can tell you by the fact that we're in the global charts, and number one, and how to, and all of the rankings, what does that tell me? It tells me that people around the world are listening, and the only way a podcast with only 39 episodes could be ranked as high as we are, competing against global podcast,

media giants, and celebrity people, and, you know, people with multiples of millions of people

“in their social media, the only way the Weepodcast could be competing on a global stage,”

like that, is that people are listening, and they're listening to the whole message, and then they're listening to new messages, and they're listening to the messages over and over. And that's what I encourage. Why? Because we're here together, and we're here doing the Weepodcast and making a difference

because the ultimate goal is to heal humanity. But how do we do it? One person at a time, yes, but one tough day at a time, also, and one challenging day at a time, also, and one happy day at a time, of course. I can promise you the majority of the people listening right here right now are in more

I believe that.

“That wholeheartedly, and that's why a lot of the podcast or about reinvention, because we're”

moving in humanity's changing, we're waking up, everything we used to know as true isn't anymore, and things are changing so fast that it can be scary, it really can, even if you're in a glorious time when you don't know what your tomorrow's going to be because it's so different than your yesterday, that can be scary, and to be quite honest with you, if there's no fear, then there's typically no growth.

And if there's no growth, then your tomorrow looks pretty similar to your yesterday. So I want to just kind of help everybody understand things like that. I want you to understand that if you're scared sometimes, I get it, of course you are. It's called being human.

And I always like to kind of share my experience strength and hope, and like I say, I always

want to be as intimate and as open as I can be, and you know, as having just a fabulous day, still there. But I got a text from a dear friend, just a couple hours ago, and her partner relapsed today, and a heartbreak for both of them, alcoholism is a disease. I heard some person out there saying how, you know, society is demonized, alcoholism.

What has that? That's yesterday's newspaper. Anybody that has a demonized delusion of a disease called alcoholism, go get therapy for Christ's sake. Now I'm not saying that the effects of a rage, a hall of alcohol, a guess, a devastating

it is. But you know what, my friend who relapsed today, this is a good man. He's just freaking hurting. My friend, she's hurting right with him, and you know, they're out of Connecticut, they're middle-aged, and you know, I've been supporting them for a while, and please send them

your prayers, and I can tell you, I am just so grateful that I can be on this side.

“And it's interesting because when I get a text like that, what is my immediate reaction?”

It's pain, it's compassion and empathy, I felt deep sadness for my friends, but I've never

met him. By the way, I support these people. I met him through LinkedIn. I've never physically met these people, but you know, the truth matter is, doesn't matter. We're all in this together.

We are. And when one person's hurting, we're all hurting, truly. And it's interesting because, as my path, and I'm going to share some of the details of my path, some of the big conscious moments where everything changed from eight as Z in a moment, but it's interesting because way back when I was an active alcoholic, I drank

and smoked marijuana every day.

I really thought when I got over my alcoholism, that that was, I was, you know, as kind of the cats meow, I've been sober for a couple of years. And then I had the face, the queen of all challenge, and that's go to penance. And I can tell you, go to penance is ten times harder, the truly heal than the disease of alcoholism and hear me folks.

Go to penance is a real-life killer. Is it a killer of humanity? No, not person to person, but it's a killer of your soul. It's a killer of your esteem. It's a killer of your worth.

Why? Because the stereotypical co-dependent literally believes it's their fault that somebody else's

“life is challenging, or it's their fault that somebody else's life went in a bad way,”

or it's their fault that somebody else, like in this particular case, went to a bar and started to drink. And it isn't. And the only reason you believe it's your fault is because you were raised in an environment where you were blamed for things that weren't yours.

And I've got multiple podcasts, I'm going to go into a little bit of that today, but not a whole lot. That's a deeper inner child, emotional stuff. But I can tell you, today, where I live, I could have deep, sincere empathy. I can just visualize my friend sitting there at the bar, drinking whatever his favorite

beverage is, hoping that the pain he's in will subside. And when a pain doesn't subside, all he has to do is start blaming everything and everybody around him because it's their fault I'm sitting here, just ask him. And I remember being there. I remember being there.

26 years old, two bottles of Jack Daniels and I, I'm going to share a little bit more

Amazing how all this comes to me.

And then my friend on the other side, you know, she's going through her own stuff and

“pursuing supporter south and challenges, of course, and she says to me, what did I like?”

I feel like it's my fault. I knew her she was going. I feel like it's my fault. If I could have been a better wife, if I could have been a better partner, if I could have been more supportive, and I said in big bold letters, simply not true, no, you're not the

reason you're husband is drinking. He's a 55 year old man sitting at a bar, drinking alcohol. Why? Because he's an alcoholic. Well, did that help in the moment?

No, she's sitting there, what did I tell her to do? Call a friend, get support, and get help, and there's nothing you can do right now for sure.

“My guess is this person's been sober a couple of years, almost three years, I think.”

So my guess is a couple days, he'll get off his bender, he'll get on his knees, he'll feel

remorse that he has no ideas coming, and hopefully he goes and picks up his second white

ship. And like I said to her, most, I was in the program all the time for many, many years. Most people pick up more than one white ship, and what is a white ship? My oldest son asked me, what is a white ship, that a white ship is a token, that when you go to an AA meeting for the very first time or you go back for the second time or the

third or the fourth or the fifth year, that doesn't matter how many times, it's a symbol that's saying, you know what, I surrender, I can't do it alone, do the what, stop drinking. And like I told her, 98% of everybody has more than one white ship, my guess is, as her husbands are good man, my guess is, he'll wake up, he'll call his sponsor, he'll be in

remorse, and he'll go get a second ship, pray for that for them.

And it was very interesting as I'm very deeply emotional on both sides, but I can stay separate, not rescuing, I'm empathetic, I'm not trying to get her out of her feelings, I'm being compassionate, empathetic for the man at the bar, compassionate for the woman who's grieving, and she's grieving hard, she's in her upper 40s, and you know, all sorts of challenges.

So that literally happened five minutes before I got on this podcast and I'm glad I was trying to do the podcast earlier today and I just kept, I wait till I'm guided and I'm not sure, I just didn't know why, well that was the why, if I had been doing my podcast, that I missed that text and my friends, I was able to help them. So it's interesting how life presents itself to us, and I talk about doing the first steps

all the time, and for those of you that are new here, what is a first step, a first step is when you write down your thoughts, you write down the thoughts in your head. Now folks, I have been doing this, my first therapy session, I just found this the other day, was in February the 16th, 1990, so I've been on a conscious path since 1990, February of 1990, which now we're going on literally 36, plus years when I learned all this.

And that's why I'm pretty practiced that, and I say it all the time, I'm pretty practiced that the listening and the sharing, that's why the podcast feels pretty connected because it's my divinity speaking here, it's not Joe, it's not the man. And the man in the microphone, I've shared that several times, if it was a man in the microphone,

“the podcast would be similar to others, quite honestly, and that's why I feel so blessed,”

and that's why I'm going to continue to expand the voices that we have here on the we podcast, I'm also going to expand eventually doing interviews with just normal people. You and me, I'm no different than you are, I'm not a teacher, I'm not a preacher, I'm not a researcher, I'm none of those things, I'm a guy, I'm a guy who's been on a spiritual path now for a lot of years, but I'm no different than anybody else.

And today, why it's so different is because humanity's waking up, we're waking up at a rate faster than ever before, consciousness is shifting faster than it's ever before. And that would use to take me a year to get our, in my case, seven years of darkness, people are being, it's exploding on to people more and more, and that's why I'm going to have contributors here at the we podcast, that are literally guided, their life path

is to create long-term support. The we, me, my message is more a message of awareness, the contributors are going to be messages of long-term support, and I bring up the first step because I've been, you know,

him, you know, he's on his own for the most part, you know, 90% on his own.

“And my youngest, he's learned in how to trade stocks at 14 and a half years old.”

The kid is an absolute genius, you just have to hear him on the piano, and he literally said it to me the other day. So, you know, Dad, how I can see the music and how I can see the patterns and I can feel the music, he says when I'm looking at the charts, the stock charts, I can see the patterns, just like I can see the music, and I smile, and I said, yeah, I'm sure about,

I mean, it's a gift, my kids are gifted, and why? Because their entire lives, they've been told that there's a presence inside them, there's a divinity inside them, their gifts are of God. And I'm here to tell everybody that's listening right now, you have gifts inside of you, you have gifts from God inside of you, and your gifts are yours, uniquely different than

everybody else. Yes, in similarity to a lot of people probably, but whatever your unique gift is, it's yours. And if you're a parent, make sure you tell your kids start today.

“Now my kids who are 19 and 14 and a half, almost 15, they've heard of their entire lives.”

Okay, that's great.

They're fortunate, but if you're here, and you've heard that for the first time, tell

your kids today that they're gifts are inside. Tell your kids today that you care about them, you love them, you're proud of them. Little boys need to hear, I'm proud of you, little girls need to hear your beautiful, I love you. If you haven't done it before, start today.

July the 19th, 2026, be your day that you start it. Why? Because by July the 19th, 2027, you will have changed lives of the people around you. I've written the entire outline of a book called Relationships, and I kind of go send to my next, it's kind of a funny thing, because the first steps, you know, I am guided

all the time. And here recently, I have been guided to go, I keep here, and this voice sets time to go back into silence. As if I'm not already in silence, I don't own a television. If my kids aren't here, I'm not dating anybody.

I'm with myself. My dog Zeus doesn't speak English yet, and he's getting sold, he barely even walks around. He sleeps most of the time. So I'm literally in silence all the time, but I'm hearing this voice say, it's time to go back into silence.

And I'm hearing another voice, like, almost literally grieving, I don't want to go back into silence. I don't want to please dear God, don't make me go back into silence. And it's funny because silence to these older parts of me was solitude, like isolation, like nothingness in my world isn't there.

But I keep hearing this voice, and I honor all voices. I do. I keep trying to honor. And if I'm guided back into solitude, if I'm guided back into isolation, that's exactly where I'm going.

It's kind of funny what today. I listen to headphones a lot, and I hear the voice time for silence. I'm like, what the hell, you mean take my headphones off. Yeah, take my headphones off. So today, I sat for about 90 minutes in my living room, both my boys are gone.

With no headphones on, no music in silence. You'd be amazed at what I heard. I heard an entire outline for a book called Relationships.

I heard an entire second phase of the podcast I'm doing literally on my Thursday episode.

And I heard some other voices where I wrote them down, and I said all the time, if you've got challenging voices that repeat themselves right, I'm down. And I'm hearing a voice in my head saying, and I wrote it down, because I heard over and over, I would say, what if God stops inspiring me? Now, where did that thought come from?

I don't know. I write it down. What if I find a partner, and there's not enough time for me to be inspired? I think that was kind of a wishful thinking voice, but I wrote it down. And then I hear the voices says, well, you know what, maybe I won't have partnership in my life.

“And my life is really just about a sacred silence and sharing my inspirations in podcasts.”

And I write that down too. Do I judge the voices that are here that seem to be glass empty voices or challenging voices? No, I don't. But when I hear them, I write them down, and I encourage you to do the same thing.

I think it was Brian Tracy, where he said, 99% of humanity has never gone five minutes,

“let alone 30 minutes in complete silence.”

I don't know, wow. So I'm asking you right now, my podcast listeners here, when was the last time you went 30 minutes, no phone, no music, no kids, no distraction, no nothing, 30 minutes. When was the last time? Most of you are going to say, well, uh, never.

Of course. Well, how about tomorrow be that first day? And don't try for 30 minutes, try for 30 seconds, literally. And why did Brian Tracy say that? I think it was Brian Tracy.

It's the gentleman in the picture so young, I knew Brian Tracy when he was an older man.

He said, because at a certain point in that silence, when your external world is silent, you're going to hear a softer voice guiding you. I'll be done. Divinity guiding, yes, and that is true. And that's when I say it all the time where meditation is a beautiful thing, because

“that's a type of meditation, does it heal anything, no?”

But can it calm the voices, yes, does it make the voices go away, no, it doesn't. What makes the voices go away? Well, finding the source of the voice, which is in your heart, not your head, and those are the different types of big changes that for me, when I had different like massive awareness shifts inside, it was really scary.

At the beginning, title of this episode, why I feel scared because my entire life changed one day? You know, if I was really putting that title, it would be, why did I feel, why did I use the field? Do I feel that fear anymore?

No, not anymore. I don't. But I'm practiced at it now, 35, 36 years later, but for most of you, you're not. For most of you, you're waking up at a rate. You don't even know.

And is that unusual, well, no, not from a hawk view perspective, but for you and your world it is. Of course it is. And what's even more challenging for a lot of you, you're the only one doing it. For most people, and I don't care what environments you're in, you can be in the middle

of church, 98% of the people in that church, don't have conscious thought. You can be in the middle of a 12 step meeting. And 98% of the people in those meetings don't have awareness of their thoughts. Is that a bad thing? No, folks.

It's not. But you are here in the Wii podcast, 23 plus minutes into this podcast. That means you're a true spiritual warrior and a true spiritual warrior has these awakenings all the time.

“And that's why this podcast is creating a community.”

The Wii from the individual, higher self, inner self, human self. But as a community, the Wii is like-minded, consciousness coming together. And that's why the explosion and the rapid growth of the podcast is growing so much.

We were ranked 151 in the globe today, 151 out of 4 million.

That was that possible, well, because it's starting to happen. A larger sphere of people are being drawn here by their divinity. Do I know how that works? No, that isn't Joe's role. Joe's role is to push play, talk, push in.

Ms. Wendy produces and God handles the rest and you're here. So what I want to talk about today are two or three of the spots in my world, where literally the today I had made everything in my tomorrow different because there was such a big change in a day. And the emotional consequence of that is fear, but a lot of it beyond the fear is the

emotion and the challenge. And how we're kind of designing these episodes, I kind of designed the episodes now to where I started topic on Tuesday, and then I go into much more detail on it on my Thursday episode. And I'm going to do a much a deeper dive into the experiential experience, the spiritual

transformation that happens on the Thursday episode. And again, go figure the Thursday episode. It's called Sometimes Life feels so scary because the world keeps changing me so fast. You know, kidding, the world is changing so fast and you're changing even faster.

Because if you weren't, you wouldn't be here. You would not be able to comprehend and digest the conscious conversation that we have here all the time.

Well, for me, way back when my first conscious thoughts were well before therapy and my very

first conscious thought.

“And I don't remember exactly therapy happened February in 1990, I'd have been 27 years”

old in March of that year. So my very first conscious thought was how's probably 24 or 25 years old. It was after my second DUI. And that was back in the day when the DUI and breathalizers, and they were getting serious about stop drinking and driving, they meaning communities were.

I'd reach the place where a third DUI here in Georgia could have been up to a year in prison. More than three, you're going five years in prison and it was serious then. And did that mean I could stop? No. Did that mean I could stop drinking?

No. Was I afraid to go to prison? Yes. Was the fear enough to make me stop drinking? No.

It wasn't. There wasn't. I'll call those Ms. the disease and fear doesn't stop it, it just doesn't.

“I did have a spiritual experience and my spiritual experience was this.”

My very first conscious thought and I joke about it all the time because it's kind of embarrassing

now. What was your, yeah, I had a spiritual experience. I was so enlightened by very first spiritual thought. My very first conscious thought was the police are not trying to get me to stop driving. They're trying to get me to stop drinking and driving.

Now, I wish I could say my birth spiritual thought was, oh my God, the universe is wonderful and all divine and God is wonderful. No. Nope. Stereotypical alcoholic egomaniac control freak avoidism, person called Joe because

that's all it was. I would basically had a conscious thought where my higher power was saying, okay, let's give him the lowest hanging fruit here. So he doesn't spend the next five years in prison and getting to stop drinking and driving. So what was the solution of the day?

I can do that. I won't drink and drive anymore. So I started smoking marijuana more literally. I was not a daily pot smoker until I had that awareness.

Now the great news is because of that awareness, I never went to prison.

I did go to jail because of craziness for a long weekend, but not because of a third DUI. So did my entire life change? Yeah. Did I go to prison?

No. Why? My first conscious thought. Now, it's kind of funny, but it saved me. It did.

I never drank anymore. I never drank and drove anymore. I didn't. In fact, we would drink before we go out and then we smoke marijuana. And then I went and drank until I go home.

And really, for me, because I was so big and you know, I was six foot plus two, 20 plus muscles, you know, just that, not a bodybuilder, but that want to be just, I loved working out. I did. I really did.

That it took so much alcohol to even penetrate, even feel better. That quite honestly when I smoke marijuana, a quarter of a joint, a half marijuana cigarette, which is called me down, and unlike a lot of people were marijuana, relaxes, marijuana for me would kind of rant me up, so I would get in a really good mood. That was a really beautiful thing.

So I ask you, you know, you're here. Think back. When was your first conscious thought? Why is that? Because someday you need to tell somebody.

Some day you need to write a book about it.

“Some day you need to understand, when did you start this path?”

Why? Because you might be looking at your world right now, and no money, and no relationships, and everything feels like crap, and you can't figure it out, and your life is miserable. Or you might be in that place, which is even worse, quite honestly, that you have all the money you need, a wife that loves you, kids that are great, and grain kids to say,

"Hi, but you still feel empty." Either side of the financial social spectrum you're on, empty inside is a challenging spot. So, but that doesn't mean you haven't been on a spiritual path for a long time, because there's no way you're waking up today with your first conscious thought yesterday and

be able to tolerate a podcast like the we podcast. You can't do it. You wouldn't be able to most of you. Now, if you listen to my first podcast in November, and that was the first time you had a conscious thought, and you're here today, you're probably buzzing and flying around

the globe by yourself, because that's a lot of awakening.

Figure it out. Put a conscious perspective to it, why?

“Because when you wake up in the morning, regardless of your external craziness, when”

you wake up in the morning and you say, "You know what, I've been on a spiritual path for a long time." It brings a different level of a steam, it brings a different level of internal openness. It brings a different level of, you know what? Outside world might suck, but my internal world, at least I'm fricking trying, and that's

the key. It's so interesting because I hear over and over and over and over.

The influencers out there in the world, and they talk about, "Make a million dollars."

And you know, just do XYZ in and make a hundred million dollars, and I've written 47 books, and you know, when my TEDx went out, I had the most TEDx talks ever, you know, the challenge was so much of that nonsense. They don't tell the rest of the truth, they just don't. Many, many influencers of today that TEDx is 10, 15 years ago, that had multiple millions

of views. And wow, multiple millions of you, TEDx, versus the TEDx is of today, you know, if you get a thousand views, you're pretty spectacular, a hundred thousand views, you're unique. You know, what's the difference was, back then, 15 years ago, there were probably about a hundred TEDx presentations a year.

Now, TEDx had a huge market before it ever put its first video out. So, you see these people out there that have had TEDx's back in 2009 and 2010, versus today, 2007 and 2026, why did they get so many views? Good messages, sure they are. But it's because they were competing against a hundred other TEDx presentations. Today, there's 1,400 to 1,800 events a year.

Each event has 10 to 30 speakers, so per year, 5 to 10,000 new videos going up. So you put a TEDx out there now, you're competing against 10,000 other TEDx just for

“this year, let alone last year, you're before, why do I say all that?”

Because you know what, folks, I don't care what your external world looks like. I care how you feel on the inside because it's the inside of you that creates a sense of abundance, not your bank account. And that's the delusion that society constantly projects is if you had more money or you had the right person, you had the right job, you feel better, nonsense.

And let me make another statement, very, very clear. You find a billionaire who's not a genius and I'll pay you $1,000. Right now, find one, you can't, why? Because to create extreme wealth, there is an elite characteristic somewhere somehow in that human being, 99% of the time, 99% of the time, why do I say that?

Even to make $100 million, it's the same, why?

Because you know what, I've decided we can all walk on water, why? Because just like Jesus, it didn't matter where Jesus was, he could walk anywhere he wanted and was still okay, you and I can do the same thing. Now, don't try getting out of a boat yet, right, but it is perfectly reasonable to believe because I do it now, that no matter where you are, you can feel whole, you can feel

abundant, you can feel full and I do not care how much money you have. Now you want to make money, you want to travel, you want a nice car, create something that produces income that has value and do it.

“But you have to have millions of dollars to feel that feeling, no.”

And the people that have done it, they have elite characteristics, I'm not going to mention this man's name, but I follow him, I don't follow many, I'd like how this guy talks,

I really do, I would love to have him on this show, he's made $100 million and he says,

you know what, the four books I read, the changed my life, he named the books, they're all the normal ones, you know how many books this man's read? He's not my age, he might not even be 50, he's read 19, 100 books, 1,900 books, folks, that's called elite. If he only read 100 books a year, most people don't read a book a year, now does it make

a business of $100 million, yes, I applaud him, am I going to do that?

No, I've never read a book, one book, I haven't read here, conversations with God.

Why is that important? Because you don't have to make $100 million to feel like you're walking on water,

“you don't, you just have to heal your wounds, you have to heal the reason you're disconnected”

from the glory that is already you, you can have a normal job, love what you do, feel abundant, take a vacation around the globe once in your lifetime, but every day when you walk out on your back deck, feel like your vacation, that's what the we podcast is about, to help normal people, people like you and me, we are just normal folks, feel the oneness that we were meant to feel because we were born as a oneness. For myself, 1994, spiritual awakening, God

if I'm not supposed to drink a drug, I share about that in my earlier podcast. Please go listen to my earlier podcast, there's a couple of them, the big ones, modern day, monk seven years of darkness is one of my podcasts, I would highly recommend listening to if you want to get to know me, really get to know me, listen to the podcast that were wane dire quotes Jesus, that podcast they did the day after my dad died, that's me being about as vulnerable,

I'll probably ever be, I hope I never have to do another podcast where I'm more vulnerable in that, that would mean somebody deeply close to me past and I'm guided to do it the next day, leave it to my dad to die and then you know because he started my journey on the emotional process, but so you can hear my whole story up to that point, but then April the 16th is my sobriety day and April the 15th is when I had massive awareness of being severely abused

as a kid. Again, I'm kind of skipping through because I want to get to the awakening spot on April the 16th, just like in, I had my first thought about not drinking, on February the 13th,

I had my second conscious thought and it was, as my body comes in, screaming. You never

“going to believe what these S.O.B.s want me to do, Joe, it's like Lincoln, what is it?”

They want me to stop drinking for 90 days. My thought was, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I heard myself say that. I heard myself making fun of people that don't want to drink. So my second conscious thought was, when was the last time I'd gone 90 days. That second thought changed my entire life. Why? Literally because on February the 12th never thought about it. February 11th, I was stone February 10th, we're shooting pool in drinking beer and chasing girls.

My entire life up to February the 13th part of that moment in time,

drank and drugged all the time. Never thought about it. February the 13th forward.

I never drank again. Never had another ounce of alcohol from February the 13th forward. Pretty big change. April the 15th major awareness of being sexually abused. February the 16th is my sobriety day because of those big abuse memories that are trying to come up. I smoked a half a marijuana cigarette. So my actual sobriety day that I celebrated every year,

“one day at a time, April the 16th. Now think about it. That day, everything changed. Why?”

Because I became aware that my entire world prior April the 16th was full of drugs, alcohol, sex relationship working out, working too much, trying to get bigger in the gym and doing crazy. There wasn't one component of my yesterday that was going to fit our fulfill my desire for my tomorrow. So on April the 16th, everything changed. Now was that bad? Not really, not the beginning until I had to live it. That's the hard part. You can have these big changes,

but if you never live them, then you don't really change. Well, how did I live them? I moved 50 miles away. I told my family that I've been in business for 10 years. I'm done. I walked into one of my best friend at the time and said, she was my girlfriend at the time. I said, I got to go. I can't see anymore. Every friend I had, I never even said goodbye to them. And I'm going to again, so 50 miles away. In a warehouse with barely running water, no carpet was concrete in a business

district with no money, no ability to make money, no family, and no family support. Now I will tell you, I woke up that following Tuesday and everything was different. I mean everything different,

big internal change? No, it wasn't external, everything different. Lost, lonely, terrified. I mean, I can't even tell you how terrified. Mill of the night, I go out on a Saturday night,

“literally there wasn't anyone within three miles. I was lived in a business district. I remember”

thinking, I'd walk around and, you know, dark nights and somebody could have mugged. I remember thinking, if a mugger tries to mug me, he'd just pick the wrong guy. Because I would just love for somebody to try to mess with me right now. Because I am just about that angry. That I don't know what

I'd have done. Well, I was never that fortunate. No one bothered me. Just isolated.

And why did I need that level of isolation? Because prior to that moment, every thought in my head had an external belief associated to it. She's too stupid. My dad's a horrible man. My mom complains all the time. There's never enough money. My business is too hard. Every thought in my head, every thought in my head had an external destination to it. Well, I removed all of the external destination. You know, it was left. All the thoughts in my head.

“And I'll never forget the day. I mean, therapies, you know, through this whole time has been”

therapy, February the 16th, 1990. All this time. Now, you know, at this point, we're in the mid 1990s,

1990s, 1994. My therapist Nancy says, "You know, Joe, for everyone of those critical voices,

point now, there's three pointing back." And I remember thinking, "Oh, that can't be good." And that was the spot in time because my entire world was removed. But I kept hearing the voices. I kept hearing the critical voices, the hateful voices, the everybody's wrong voices. But there was no everybody anymore. The only person in that room was me in the mirror. And my arrogance would always point, it's at one else's fault. That's why today, when my friend

is getting drunk at the bar, he's blaming his wife. No, as I hateful and shameful to him, no. That's stereotypical vanilla rage, a hollow, a hollow. Hey, and by the way, if you drink into much, get some help, I get to say it. I said this before. I did, and so can you. My buddy, he needed more help, as he's drinking right now after three years. It's not something to take lightly. If you're drinking too much, get help. And no, you can't help them, whoever the partner is

to the person drinking to nothing you can do. Like I said to my friend, I said, call somebody, get support, get yourself safe and grave. Go grave. In that moment, way back when, it was then just Joe with Joe. But the voice assistant stopped. And it was in the silence of my external, that I could just hear these massive internal voices. There was in that spot in time where I heard my first first step. I couldn't hear it before because the voices were connected to

“literal external, my external world. I couldn't hear it. And I'll never forget when I started my”

first step. And Nancy said, no, Joe, write those voices. And I've made fun with myself before because the very first voice I had was, I don't have any voices. 12 legal sized pieces of paper later. I wrote them all down. And that was the first first step. I literally did a first step yesterday. I've been doing first steps for 33 years. Why? Because we're not perfect. We're not divinity. We have an ego. We have glass empty stuff. We have our doubts. We have our fears. If we

suppress them, they become, they begin to run our life. Even the ones I had, hey, how about if God doesn't inspire me anymore? My divinity has inspired me to do stuff for 35 years. Why would it stop now? It wouldn't. But that voice had the right to share its view in me, my little first step I did two days ago, and I wrote it down. I did. And that's important. So when I realized

that all the critical voices in my head, all the critical approach to life ahead was in my head,

all those voices, all those glass empty voices, my life was never the same. Never. And why is that important? In the beginning it was overwhelming. It was scary. It was shame-based. I was

awesomely perfect. Me and Jesus are in cloud nine together. That was the arrogance that I lived. And

“in that moment, I realized, I'm just a piece of crap. That's exactly how I felt. I'm not going”

to say what I really felt about myself because I'm trying not to get those little squiggly red lines on my podcast, the Cussing. This is who I'd cost because everything I would say about myself is hateful and hurtful. Why? Because I was hurting. Now at that point, did I know all of those voices were hurt? I did not. I didn't. But it was in that spot at time. Eventually, when I got some of the first up out, I realized that until you change your internal voices, your external world will

never change. Hear me until you identify, embrace and write down and tell somebody your internal

voice is, you can never change your external world. Why? Because it's those internal voices that cause your action steps that inspire you to take action steps. And it's in those action steps that

“you're creating a glass empty external that mirrors the glass empty voices. That's why I tell”

I have my hair at the back of my right. Races when I hear these influences and what just ignore the voices and do it anyways. Get your ass off the couch and just go do it anyways. Stop, blank blank, just go do it. I'm like no kidding. If they could go do it, they would have in your podcast would go away. Well, that's why these influencers podcast have millions of people because the voices don't just go away and they paralyze you so you need someone else to tell you over and over,

just go do it. How do you do it? Right, the voice is down. Right, I'm down and then tell somebody. It's the telling somebody where the healing starts. Now does that make the voices go away? Now, and for me, it was probably, I don't know, six, seven months, living in complete isolation, literally cutting grass, five bucks an hour, barely living on anything, hungry all the time. I had water because it was a running, there was a faucet. There wasn't a faucet in the place.

There was an outside spicket, a water spicket. That's where I had shower, a water spicket outside

in the night, no one's around. So I always had plenty of water, not always food, but water. And

about a while, I don't know, a couple, two or three months into that. The anger came. Oh, man, anger was such a beautiful thing. Because I was around, no one was around. I could cost, I could scream. I broke the handle off one of my dad's $40 shovels. I was so proud of myself, hated him anyways at the time. Like I've said, my rage, I'll start it around my dad. And then, you know, the last 20 years of his life, we had a fabulous relationship, we really did.

As good as it was ever going to be, I broke that handle off. And I literally, because the seedlings were so high, I could beat a shovel handle over and over and over and over and over and over on the bed and get the anger out. So hey, fellas, stop with the anger at your wife, just stop it. And hey, ladies, all that control freaking stuff, I'm going to make them drink water. Because that's good for him. That's just rage. That's your control freak gazoidism rage trying to

control another human. Get a bat and beat the bat. Why? Because if you don't get the anger out, the anger controls you. And it's controlled in two ways. Anger either is a controlling mechanism where you're trying to control another human or anger is acted out by abusing somebody, cussing, screaming, hitting, biting, whatever the it is, making them wrong, making them less than, making them feel bad, making them whatever. It's all rage being projected.

Well, how do you stop it? You got to get the rage out in a healthy environment. Well,

you know, Joe, I have so much rage and never come out. I know, I believe you, buy a pair of gloves.

“Because that's what I needed. I had so much rage. I didn't buy anything. I found a pair of gloves,”

work gloves, leather work gloves. I beat that shovel handle so much. I'd have blisters on my hands. I put gloves on and I kept beating. And why was that important? Because the anger isn't the issue. The anger is the mask over the issue. And what's the issue? It's the pain. It's the hurt. It's the legitimate. I can't breathe pain. I don't know. Six months, eight months out of raging. I really thought I was doing great. I thought had to

begin better. You know, I felt better. The anger is coming out. And I still couldn't wear no money blah blah blah. And then one day, I call my therapist Nancy. I'm like, Nancy, I don't know what's going on.

going on. I was crying. I was clueless. I'm probably 28 years old. I probably the first time

“I cried almost as an adult. And Nancy said to me, she says, Joe, you have lost your mind, but”

you found your heart. My book, filling the void. Go to my website, please. JoeMetika.com, download the book. My PR people talk about these people are genius. I mean, they're just amazing people. We've created a book club. And literally, I'm filling the void. And as I figured out myself, I asked Adrian, I said, how do I tell people about it? I don't even know what a book club was. Well, she's literally created an interactive experience on the website where you're

able to be guided through a 12 week interaction with people through my book. Absolutely brilliant. Her. I don't even know how to explain it yet because I didn't know that existed. As I get more info, I'll tell you. But go, JoeMetika.com and get filling the void because I go in detail of my story and all of the stuff is in my story. And it was in that moment in time. The first awareness ever, no drinking and drug. Second awareness ever, one of the last time I went 30

day or 90 days without drinking. I'm going to keep saying it. When this last time you went 90 days without drinking, Mr. Listener here, are Miss Listener here? Oh, while on the drink on the weekend, I didn't say when this last time you went three days. I'm asking the question, when we last time you went 90 days. And when you hear 8,000 voices saying, well, I only drink on the weekend. I only drink on Christmas right those down. There's no reason to put poison in your

body. No one's going to tell me I'll cause anything but poison because it is. Now, plenty of you, you went 90 day. My entire family, my past life, she by a beer, it'd be in the refrigerator for nine months. She'd say, well, I don't want to drink in front of you. I used to say, it's okay,

I've been sober 20 years. Well, I just don't feel comfortable. I never understood that personality.

So, probably 80, 90 percent of you here said, well, no, Joe, I've been drinking for 90 days. Since I was in my 20s. Good. When was the last time you didn't try to fix somebody?

“I'd promise you. One of those two, most of you are doing well, and that's why I know because I”

did them both a lot. Well, that whole emotional thing, the whole emotional piece, the whole, oh my gosh, that really hurts. That's all the inner self stuff. And all that inner self, the emotional part is where the healing comes in. That's where I learned that the source of all of the voices in your head are in your heart. That's why I have such a passion about the positive affirmation concept. Is it a good thing? Sure it is. Doesn't heal anything? No. Why? Because the voices in your head

aren't created in your head. They're not stationed in your head. They're not located in your head. The voices in your head are a reflection of hurt in your heart. How do I know? Because I agreed that hurt for seven years. My darkness started the moment I started feeling my feelings. Not before that. Before I was feeling the emotion, I wasn't in dark. Actually, it's kind of exhilarating. I was surviving. I was making it. I didn't have anybody to bother me. I was raging

all the time. I was, you know, kind of doing my own thing, kind of, you know, a man on a mission, making five bucks an hour. I was hungry a lot, but I was okay. It wasn't until the grief part my sponsor told me. She says, you know, Joe, my counselor, who's sponsoring counselor. There's four emotions, Joe. Mad, glad, sad and scared. I remember thinking, "Well,

“that's how hard can that be?" Mad, glad, sad and scared. I remember the first time.”

She says, "No, wait, Joe, you have to feel those emotions." I was like, "Oh, darn. My first

emotional release." 14 minutes. I'll never forget as long as I'm there. I was so proud.

I called Nancy up after. I just didn't answer. I agreed for 14 minutes. She went, "Uh-huh." I said, "No, wait, wait, Nancy. I agreed." I literally, I did it for 14 minutes. She said. That was her standard line. "Uh-huh." I thought I was done. No, I had seven years more. And why did I have seven years? I ego was crazy. I was thick as can be. Big boys don't cry. You name it. I was isolated. No support.

I lived on nothing. Most of you will never have to do that. Most of you will get to your emotions quickly. Most of you will heal what you need to continue to move forward in life. And most of

you will use it as an awareness to heal. And I'll never have to go to the depths. If you do,

And I'm hoping to get her on here. She says you have to give a voice to your emotions. She's

“exactly right. Now, for me, I gave a voice to the deepest parts of my pain layer after layer”

after layer. That's my seven years. Most of you. No way. No way. And, you know, the healing part

I life was never the same literally. And at that point, wasn't seeking God. And any of the

was a God. Don't bother me. I won't bother you. That spiritual experience I had on February the 20th, that didn't have any creation of a relationship. I didn't think anything of it until later. Two books channeled through me. I knew it was something other than me, but I couldn't. I couldn't literally without, you know, where the straight face, oh God, channeling through me. When I got channeled through me every day, everything I do. I know what it is today. Back then,

I had no idea. And it's through that whole experience where, eventually, I get on the other side. And I start remembering this whole concept of a power, power, this whole concept of divinity. I start remembering. And that's where I tell people all the time. I'm not a teacher or a preacher. Take what works and leave the rest. I'm not here to teach you anything. I'm here to help you remember what's already in you. I teach you a thing. Remember what's already in you.

“And what's already in you is that you are created in God's image. That's what's in you.”

In Thursday's episode, I'm going to go through that in length. The rest of that story, what happened for me, September the 20th, 2022. I September 22nd, 2022. I had another massive spiritual awakening 20 years later. We're all of this came through me, a book called

unequally yoked, a book called We, which is now my second book that I'll be coming out here soon,

called Why We Live Alone. And where I move from the position of living from gratitude to grace, where I learned that over this whole process, the God doesn't heal anything, but God will give

“you the strength and courage to heal everything. And if that whole concept, that's what the Thursday”

episode is going to be about. So thanks for being here, everybody. I really genuinely appreciate

your support. You know, the We podcast has been an amazing adventure for me and we just continue to grow.

And I'm just very, very grateful to be here. I'm grateful to help people in their darker times, celebrate you. Maybe I'm keeping you company on a challenging day. Keep coming back, listen to episodes over and over. Let my voice help and share it with others because together, we're healing together, we're changing the world. And together, we're making a difference, literally, one smile at a time. And to everybody around the world, welcome to We.

So that's it for today's episode of the We podcast. Head on over an Apple Podcast or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener, every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will win a chance to the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 prize that VIP day with show himself. Be sure to head on over to Wepodcast.global and pick up a free copy of Jo's Gift and join us next time for The We Podcast.