S2E20: Talk Tracks Season 2 Episode 9: Unlocking Ryan

autism is not speaking and also has a praxia. Like, many of the families featured on this show,

“it's been quite an adventure and they realized that Ryan was telepathic long before the”

Tflupty tapes came out. While in the studio Ryan and his mom requested to do some telepathy tests so we did film some and those will be posted on the Tflupty tapes YouTube page as well as on our supercast. Before filming this episode, we sent Ryan a lot of questions from our listeners and he answered many of those questions over the course of a few weeks and he'll be sharing those answers with us today in this studio. He's in and out because he found our couch in the front room to be

very comfortable. So without further ado, we welcome Ryan and Mary to the studio. Hi everyone, I'm Kai Dickens and I'm thrilled to welcome you to the Talk Tracks. In this series we'll dive deeper into the revelations, challenges, and unexpected truths from the Tflupty tapes. We'll feature conversations with groundbreaking researchers, thinkers, non-speakers, and experiences who illuminate extraordinary connections that may defy explanation today but won't

fall off. Why don't you introduce yourself? Like who you are, who you're son is, who's in your family, where you live. Okay, so I'm Mary Heller and I have three kids. I raised them in subastible on a farm. They ate off the gardens, drank raw goat milk, so we lived out on a farm. Ryan was my oldest. He's 27 now. He has two little sisters, 22 and about to be 22 and 24 in college. When Ryan was diagnosed, I just was one of those parents who dropped everything on the planet and just was on a mission to try to help him out.

And it was scary back then because they would be like, if you can keep them engaged every

waking second, they might be cured by the time they're five. So I would be like feeling guilty

if I stopped to brush my teeth almost. But then we chased around all the biomedical and all the options to try to help him and nothing really worked out that well. But and so then he went to and he started out in regular ed and quickly got put into special ed, which there wasn't very good services we were out in the country. And so he went to a really nice school, O'Kill School, which was a non-public school for mostly autistic people. He quickly got put in the life skills class,

which is basically the kids who they've determined, they just really aren't teachable. And so let's teach them just basic life skills. And there he stayed all the way through 22, graduated during the pandemic. He was considered one of the most difficult kids at the school most loved, you know, but but just very, very the apraxia was very big and his agitation was very great.

For someone just joining who've never heard about apraxia, can you explain,

it's just summarized what apraxia is. So apraxia is a mind body disconnect where your your motor system, your body is not working with you. So your mind is really pretty much a normal mind who's absorbing information, hearing it, wanting to put out a response or do an action, and then your mind tells your body to do it and your body does something completely different. So for example, if Ryan wants to say, past me the fork, he might say nothing, or he might say,

I want water. And similarly with the body. And then sensory issues were very overwhelming for him too.

“So anyway, and then at around 12, I think, I said, you know, I'm going to give up. If”

there's some miracle that's going to come on the scene, I'm going to hear about it. And so that's when I kind of gave up on chasing every rainbow and you know, biometically or therapeutically. And I did, I did give up at that point, but I kept asking for a typing goal on his IEP. Because I'm like, he could be one of those kids that might be able to communicate himself

on at some point. So I just want that typing goal. And I always fight for that typing goal.

And I remember, and I told Ryan the story when he was 12 at an IEP. I was with the school psychologist was there. And I said, I really want to keep that typing goal on. And the school psychologist was like, well, why? And I said, well, because what if, you know, some day some of these such as the kids are able to communicate. And then they can communicate fully with through typing. And I'd like to keep giving him access to that. In case he could find

his communication that way. And the school psychologist turned to me and said, Mrs. Heller, if he had any, you know, if he had any of the kind of level of ability that you're discussing, we would have discovered it by now. And I just gave up that day. I just felt like a diluted, you know, okay, I'm just a diluted parent. I'll just drop it. You know, but I didn't drop

“the spelling goal. But that was the day my heart kind of sunk like stop trying, you know?”

Well, and it's, how do we really, I mean, even right now, you're feeling really emotional for me. Yeah, I don't think I cut a dry eye in any IEP ever. I mean, you have a table of people sitting

less skills than an infant. It's like they take hope away. And they take hope away and they do these tests

“that just show that, you know, and I knew that Ryan had so much more in him, but a praxia is tricky.”

So just when I'd be like, you know, this guy is so freaking smart. He would do, he's a praxia would make him do something like, I don't know, put something in metal in the microwave or you know, something funky. And then I'd be like, oh, I'm maybe I'm just wrong. Maybe I'm just hopeful. So it's a very, it's a very deceptive thing, a praxia. So anyway, at, when he was 23, a friend of mine sent me a book called "Underest Mated and Autism Miracle." And it was about a boy who seemed

very much like Ryan, who learned to completely communicate and his intelligence and he was unlocked. And I read the book and I was just like, I got to try this. I mean, this book, I read books in the

past, but they always made it seem like, to me, I read them as, this was one miracle mother,

who just was like, did something unreplicable. And I, you know, I didn't realize and one miracle

“kid, like, I just thought these were one-offs. This book was like, this is all of our guys.”

They can all do this, you know, and the boy was just around Ryan's age and the whole thing. I just really related to it. So I'm like, we have to make an appointment with that therapist before we're never going to get to see her again. And so, oh, and I called his dad and asked his dad to read the book, and then his dad called me crying. And so I don't want to get my hopes up again. What are you doing to me, Bob, Bob, Bob, and I said, you know what? We owe it to him to give him the

chance. He can't bring himself there. We don't have to have any expectations, but we owe it to him to put the opportunity in front of him. So we made an appointment with that spelling practitioner. We went down to their office and we saw that day that his intelligence was there. For people, again, just joining spelling as a way to communicate by typing pointsy to letters. Yeah, which is a gross more. So right, so what it does is it just bypasses the speech pathway all

together that these kids, they've been hammering away at the speech pathway forever. And with Ryan, he has unreliable speech and limited speech. So this bypasses that kind of broken or damaged pathway. And you literally learn to communicate by laying down a new pathway by pointing at letters like this, you're moving your shoulder. So you lay down your speech pathway through your gross motor system.

And it was just wild because the first day we walked in the woman walked right over spoke to him,

not me spoke in an adult voice. You know, hey, Ryan, it's so great to meet you. I know how intelligent you are. You don't have to prove anything. You know, gave him a little, he wrote a blog about it actually. And then we went in and he started spelling and we were behind the two of them. And he was doing, he was really like into it, you know, and he was pointing to the letters and stuff.

“But the moment when I got it was, she said, hey, Ryan, who did we fight in the American revolution?”

And that was not in the story. She was reading him. And so I'm like this, like life skills class, no, you know, and good, luckily, she's ignoring me. And he says magic dragons as he's spelling E and G L A N D. So he's saying magic dragons with spelling England. And he's spelling England. And I just, I just got a whole thing at that moment. I just, I just started crying. His dad started crying. And in any way, so I saw it like he's, he isn't there. He's trapped in there. His mouth is not working

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“learning on their own terms. So we did like a four-day intensive, and then they were really”

great about showing me how to go home and work with him. So then I went home and we set at the dining table for an hour, or no, like a half an hour every day, and did our spelling lessons, and he went through all the procedures until he got to open. And it was a biggest miracle, mother could ever dream. I mean, I got to know him at 23 years old. And you know, you think you will you know your kid? Yeah, I did. I knew his heart, but I really didn't know him for some of the

things that he started saying or spelling about when he was open. One of the first few things he told me was that he had a deep relationship with God. I didn't know that. I knew he liked to go to church, but I thought maybe he just liked the ritual of it. You know that this consistency of it. He has deep relationship with God. One of the fun things was hearing him use different family members expressions. Like Haka, yes, Haka, yes, like that's his dad, you know, or an expression I would

use. So for the first month when he was open, it was just like, oh my God, Ryan said this or, you know, and but anyway, so then this is what I learned about him. He's very serious and very deep and very intellectual and his language is very intellectual. And so I started asking him also,

he knew all this stuff that we were spelling about and he'd never been educated. And so I asked him

how are you? How do you know all this? How do you know all this math? How do you know? And he couldn't show that he knew one plus one equal to to the school. And he said, well, I study at night. And I was like, okay, I'm pretty sure I've only ever seen you watching like the wiggles or muppets from space, like, you know, and but anyway, I mean, not to slip into to let me know. But I guess he said, he learned at the conscious realms. He studied everything. So and he

is educated. He went right into college, having been uneducated and as an A student at college. He knew stuff that you didn't know that he couldn't, I didn't know how he knew anything that he knew. The first time it really, really hit me. I mean, it all hit me, but one time, I was doing a lesson with him. And the question was like, and I'm going to watch the details. But the question was like, who won the long distance running in Africa, gold medal in 1984?

And it was not the lesson. No, I didn't know the answer. And it was an African named this long. And he spelled the whole thing out. So I googled it. And it was exactly right. And then I called this dad who's the only sports washer in the family. And I'm like, did you ever tell Ryan about that? And he's like, no, but that's the right answer. And that's when I was starting to be like, is there anything he doesn't know? How does he have this information?

Oh, he's a healer. I mean, he has told me. And he does it to me. But he has told me that he feels called to heal anyone that he's with. He heals them. I think there's a lot more gifts he hasn't

“even told me yet. I'd sound so silly. And I always thought I was so silly. That's why all this”

telepathy tape stuff is so confirming for me. Yeah. When I was nine, I had a very strong

visit like dream that wasn't a dream. And I woke up. So I always knew he was coming. Like what happened?

Okay. So I was like nine. And I had this experience when I was asleep. It was in the sticks. Deep jutted topography of like it reminds me of like the Marin headlands, you know, sage covered hills and mist and fog all around. Kids were milling about running around. There was cloaked people. But, you know, like people in like hemp cloaks or whatever. And I had a deep love for this little blonde kid. And he was like, I don't want to do this. And I was like, it's already been decided

we're doing this. And he was saying I don't want it. Yeah. He was like, I don't want to do this. You know, and I was like, there's no, there's no getting out we're doing this. And the

just sitting there and I'm like, what was that intense love? I've never felt that kind of love.

And I also didn't hit me. I was nine or eight. I was like, oh my God, I just felt mother love. Like, I felt the love of a mother. And he knows about the dream. He has talked to me about it. But anyway, even what is he said about it? Do you wrote a poem about my dream? And then said that the gentle cloak covered beans. And I'm like, I never told you that detail. And so I asked him. And he's

“like, yeah, like he was like, yes, I do remember that visitation. And it helped me. It really helped”

me because I knew that there was some inevitability to this that we had, it was like a soul pact that we had made. We were going to walk through this journey together. And when did you first maybe show the story about the fire? Like, when did you first know that maybe he's able to tap in? Oh, I knew way before that. Okay. So when we're, what were the first signs that maybe he had a

much more expansive awareness than you did? Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I always sort of knew like when I was

40, I had an unplanned and very welcome pregnancy. And I was, you know, tiny back then. And maybe when I was just a few weeks pregnant, he just kept rubbing my tummy and saying, baby, baby, and I'm like, oh, don't be silly right. And then sure enough, I found out like a month later that I was having my daughter. And so little things like that, I would, or I couldn't hide anything from him or you know, so we would joke that he was like it. But, um, and then, but when I started spelling with him,

after every spelling session, I would go down the back home to the dryway and talk to my, my husband and be like, I don't know what's going on. He's reading, we're reading each other's mind. He's, he's reading my mind. I read in his mind. And, um, and that's not to say that the spell, it's not

with the spell. I mean, he's spell stuff. I've never even dreamt of, you know, but, but something was

happening where I could a whole sentence would pop in my head and then he would spell it. Or, you know,

“and it wasn't from me. Like, so I just started noticing this, this. That's why I was so blown away”

when to let the tapes came out. I mean, I just sat in my room and just just listened to all that, because I was like, this is exactly what we're living. I didn't know about all the other stuff. Did you hurt anyone else say that? Oh, everyone. And then what would happen was like, you know, the spell or web pages, you know, like a new parent would come on and be like, hey, I'm pretty sure, like my kids read in my mind or I'm reading his mind or, you know, and then a million new parents

would be like, same, same. And then the moderator would come on and be like, listen, we don't talk about this here, you know, we're going to have to shut shut this down. So I would tell my girlfriends and stuff. It's not just me. It's all these other moms. I'm not making this up. So I was very aware. I was like, I don't know what it means, but we have it. Um, and did you think of testing it or did you do that after the top of the tape after the telepathy tapes? I never thought of

testing. In fact, it's something I didn't want in a way like the spelling, because I want to know, you know, I want to know that I don't want him to spell something I'm thinking, but it doesn't feel like that. It just feels like it's not that, because he's saying stuff I would never say, he has his own voice. But no, I never really did it. It's just, I just knew we had it. And, and, and, um, I didn't really just spend a lot of time thinking about, oh, what else can you

do? Right. You know, it's just something we were experiencing. It was mind blowing it off. Now, I take it like, it's kind of just like, uh, nothing. It's just like another, like he put it. It's just like another sense that he has. And, um, and how he puts it as we share a consciousness. And so actually, my spelling went a little wonky when I was trying to, I was trying to break the channel. They call it the thought channel. You know, because you want to break the thought channels. Because

you don't want to interfere with his thought process when he's, and then he finally said to me, "Well, that's like asking me not to hear." It's almost like, if he wants to tap into my mind occasionally, he will. If you need, it's, I think a bit like training wheels. Like, oh, okay. So you want to warm up,

“you're going to tap into my mind a little bit, maybe. And I'm not sure that's how it is, but that's”

sort of how he explains it. But then he just goes off and I'm like, whoa, I didn't see that coming. So sometimes it's just almost like a confidence boost to keep our shared confidence. And then he's just off and run. Yeah. So I don't trip on it anymore at all. I just don't worry about it. I forgot what we were doing with one parent. There was a neuroscientist, not Dr. Hennessy Powell, a someone else who was doing a fluffy test. And then we found that if the, like, the mom was looking

at the board, he could get it right. But then we had her look away. And then he couldn't. But then we were like, just look at it for the first letter. And then when she looked at the first letter, of what she was thinking, and then looked away, you could do it. So it was like a training wheels. Yes. Yeah. It was like, okay, this makes me feel safe. I can get my motor going with, with, like, whatever's happening. I don't want to all co-regulation. Yeah. So whole thing is co-regulation.

And that's why I think it's been, you know, the cast light upon it. It's been, we were

It's, it's, it's co-regulation. And, um, there's a, there's a huge relationship of, of trust

that makes it possible. Yeah. Well, I think we're trying to, people are trying to understand spelling in a way that's so robust, ableist and away. And, and right. And not considering the whole expansive escape of how it could be working. And no one's asking the right questions. At least not yet. I mean, now that I think they are. No, I'm starting to realize this whole entire autism thing is, is everything is viewed through such ableist eyes that we're really doing them in just service.

Like, I'll just give you one quick example that. And at some point, I did want to mention something to you that I really want to get out to the world. Okay. Um, but, you know, for instance, when Ryan

“lit needs to listen, he'll, he'll look away from me. And he's like, that's how I can really hear you.”

Because our else, he sees, he sees all these colors coming out of his eyes. It just gets too much that the city's DJ mixes the colors with the sound. So he'll turn away. So what happens when you're talking to somebody and they turn away in our looking away? You think they're not listening. You think they don't understand you. You think they're checked out. And then with our ableist mind, we say, oh, this person doesn't comprehend. Oh, probably diminished IQ, diminished capacity.

And this is how it happened that all these intelligent kids are in a system where everyone believes they're unattelligent. It's all because we're seeing everything through ableist neurotypical viewpoint. That's my message. I'm really trying to get out. I think it's really important. Yeah.

I think in a second, just for people like Ryan is flying on our couch out there to feel safe and

kind of regulate, then we'll bring him in and go through some of the questions that listen or

“sent in. But I guess in the meantime, we can give him a little bit more time. Do you want to”

look fire stories? I can tell you're so interesting. Okay. So Ryan lived, um, I lived in the big house and then Ryan lived down the driveway and his little bungalow. Me and my partner went out for a bike ride. Ryan was leaving when we left was going off to his spelling club at the junior college with with with no with Erica who's his associate. He likes to call his SLS people as associates. So with his associate, they were going off to get coffee and then go to the, um, go to the

spelling club, which is Ryan's favorite day. So we got back from the bike ride. I don't know an hour or two later. And Ryan and Erica were standing outside his bungalow and the fire truck and fire man was there. And so I was like, what happened? And Erica's like, well, um, and the fireman was like, everything's fine. No, or everything's fine. Oh, and this was the highest. This was a high high fire alert day in sub-astable. Like, they were going to turn off electricity and stuff like that.

So, um, Erica said, Mary, I'm sorry, but Ryan just really demanded, I go home. He's just like, I go home. And the way he said it, I just, I just, I just complied. And so we came home. And, um, we came inside and he went right to his room and I smelled this really noxious smell. And I traced it to the kitchen. There's just a little bungalow. I traced it to the kitchen and I opened underneath the sink. And there was all this black smoke poured out. And it was, and it was sparking

and catching up fire. So I called 911. So there was those power strips and it had been cracked. And it was plugged under. I don't know, to plug the disposal in or something. And it was catching fire. And so, of course, in my mind, I was like, oh, this is a coincidence, but I just didn't say anything. You know, so they left and went off to finish their day at the college. And we put in a new power strip. And, um, I got the notes back from the group spelling at the college that day. And Ryan

had, first sense was Ryan spelling to his friends. Hey, guys, I saved my bungalow today.

My grandma came to me and told me to get home right away. And when I got there, the bungalow was starting on fire. Wow. And so that made me so happy because my mom had died fairly recently. And, um, me, her and Ryan were extremely close. And, um, just made me feel so good to know that

“she would choose around. It's such a beautiful story because this has come up a few times, right?”

Where, I think there's that question of, is there psychic ability? Is there telepathy, or is there help from ancestors and loved ones? I think it's probably mix of everything. It's from from when I'm gathering. Yeah, well, when he told me, he's because I did ask him about that. And he said, I feel, um, I feel souls all the time. I, I feel them because I said, do, do, do soul to people from the dead communicate with you. And he said, yes, and I said,

you see them. He said, no, I'm more just feel them. He said, but with grandma, she whispers to me. And I said, what does she whisper to you? And he said, um, and, oh, and then he said, and she sings me songs of perpetual devotion. So, um, so, so grandma's, what a sweet. I know. What a sweet assurance for you. Oh, I'm so, you know, this has been the huge gift to me as I was a little neurotic worry work before all that's now. I'm like,

I'm not afraid to go to the other side. I know all our loved ones are around us. I just feel so

Yeah. We got a question from a mother, um, who is a newly spelling son, um, come in.

“I think just yesterday, and we get this question a lot where she said, my son will spell”

just fine with the CRP or the SLP or whoever is working, they associate, but she's having a very hard time spelling with her son herself. And could you just talk to that mother like, is that common? Why do you think it happens? Do you have any advice? Okay. So, so common. And so, so I'll just spit out all the things that I know about. And it's happened with me. I mean, Ryan and I were fluent. And we were two little peas in a pod. Um, for, and then once I, the ones I started getting

other CRPs for him and other spellers, so he, he's, he stopped, there was a point where he stopped really spelling robustly with me. And, um, so there's a whole bunch of things going on. One is,

first of all, there's a praxia. And I call a praxia like opposite world. The more you want something,

the more that a praxic body is going to come in and try to sabotage you. And so, one thing Ryan had told me, and I think we need to know about all of our kids, don't believe for a minute that they don't want to spell with you. They want to spell with you more than anybody in the world. And he, so one that could have gotten into a loop where they just pushed you away. One time, Ryan wasn't spelling with me. I mean, for a period of time. And so we went to one of the

practitioners who he spells extremely eloquently open with, and I asked, you know, what, how can I help? What am I doing wrong? Why aren't we spelling anymore? And, um, he was sweet because he hates to hurt my feelings. So he was like, I guess it's time for the hard conversation. And then when he

“has spelled, and he said, Mom, you need to take care of your own regulation. So I took that very”

seriously. I started going to hypnotherapy. Um, I started taking the time to, to make a lot of changes to because, you know, as moms are, they're like, forget me. I'm just going to go to care. Everybody else, you know, but I was like, okay, this isn't this interesting. I'm being forced to do self-care so that I can go back to being with my son and help my son. So I started doing a lot of the self-care, but no matter what I did, he was still saying it. And then recently, I really went

deeper. I just went deeper with, um, my versions of spirituality, the things that I do for, to, to, to, to, um, for my own piece in spirituality. I did a lot of meditation hypnotherapy. And I was feeling it. Like, okay, I was really moving into a, a common place. And I went to spell with him. And he started spelling with me. And he, and he spelled, Mom, you just keep getting common and common. So what, the point of this is it's not like, take a few deep breaths. They are feeling

your higher self. They need your higher self to be calm. And one way to stay calm, which is kind of ironic for autism parents who are suffering from years of PTSD, right? I'm like, oh, this is the ultimate ironic joke that now I have to be completely calm to talk to my son like on that deep deep deep level. So it's still a work in progress. And, and another thing I did is,

I finally said, you know what, we're going back to a practitioner together. We're starting

in a date. We're starting at ground zero. So we went back to the practitioner and started at ground zero and we moved up very quickly. And then from there, I'm going to generalize it back out of the office. And so, so it's happening. It's still not like it was when it was just him and I. But anyway, it's very common. Those are the things to watch out for is, is the, the parent has to really, really do their work to be a true co-regulator. Second, we have so many expectations for our

kids. The practitioners are just much calmer obviously. So all our parent overdrive and the wanting open wanting open like a big thing is to let go of wanting open. Like you just have to take each session for just exactly what it's going to be because they, you know, a praxiate can smell expectations. Like just no expectations were just here together in this moment. And so those are the things. It's to not work towards open. And it will come. Like it will just naturally come. Nobody's

not become open. Really unless somebody's given up. And there's a spelling coach in Atlanta, Austin. And we follow him and they'll tell that they take someone's coming out. And he always says,

“if you follow the recipe, it will work. You just, you have to stick with it. And every parent's fear,”

like I was, it's like, I would go back to the praxiate before he was open and be like, this heavy ever had anyone who didn't get open is he not going to get open. I think that's a lot of people's fear. And they all get open if you keep, if you keep at it. Yeah, different time I mean, but it's so it's just such a dance of being in the right vibration and parents are much more where all hovers. We've been to hell and back with our kids. Oh, the other thing. I told him,

I will never give up. You could say you don't want to spell with me a million times. I'm never

giving up. Yeah. And that's good for them to know, too. Because a lot of it will be the praxiate and the loop just pushing. Yeah. And the fear, like his fear, it sounds like it was

same life skills class. So the fear that like, people will give up on me again, get to give up on me again.

Right. So that's a big message I give. Like, yeah, um, is that I'm not, I'm never giving up. This is

what I want more than anything on this planet. And I saw his body relax when I said that. It's like such a journey of love. You know, non-speakers, especially with a praxia where it's just so hard to ever know, you know, but by observation was happening and because it's not a true marker. Scary. It's really scary. And a lot of us went to spelling because we were afraid for medical stuff. I mean, I found my son lying in a bed with shattered shoulders and I never got to find out what happened

until after he could spell. And he had a seizure in the shower and it was so forceful that it was his first seizure that it literally did not only dislocated, but like kind of shattered. He's at double shoulder surgery. So you're scared. And I know a lot of other parents who their reason for going to spelling is this kid needs to be able to tell me he went something medical is going on. Should we bring him in here and go through some of his questions? Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

So welcome to the studio Ryan. I know you spent a lot of time answering these listener questions.

“Do you want to go ahead and read on Mary and a Friday wants to jump in?”

Well, basically there was a question just about what do you want to share with the world? Are you happy? What is your life like since spelling? And you answered and this for sentence made he answered, I love my life which made me cry and then he came over and wiped my eyes with tissues. So I love my life. I have been through many things in my journey to be an open speller. It has to be the accomplishment in my life to date that I am most proud of. This is a no way a solo victory. My family

has been with me even on my worst days. The support to become a speller takes a family willing to

be brave in the face of adversity. Never giving up is the first commitment to give a non-speaker the

quality of life all people deserve. And then part of that question was asking about a praxia and how do you feel about dealing with a praxia and Ryan responded. Health issues and living in a body I'm fighting control have made life hell sometimes. The commitment my family made to me to never give up on me was one I also had to make to myself. I get to enjoy so many things that helped me stay positive. I live in a house with my friends and visit my parents all the time.

I love to cook and pay very close attention to what I put in my body. I want people to know

“that life is so beautiful when you can communicate. Without a way to share my thoughts, the colors”

in the world fall away from vibrance. Darkness consumes those left behind in silence. We are deserving of the chance to be heard and have our intelligence respected. Some may say that it's not for everyone, but I believe with my whole heart that everyone that can't speak can spell. I think that's a wonderful answer, Ryan. This is a question from a listener or all non-speakers able to communicate

telepathically. I always get scared of generalizations, but and are they able to communicate telepathically

just anyone including speakers who may not currently communicate telepathically? Ryan answered yes to our all non-speakers telepathic. Yes, it can happen for anyone who is willing to open their mind to the frequency whether you're speaking or not. There are many people open to reaching shared consciousness in their own way. To be honest, it's not up to me how people get there. It's a personal pathway built between individuals who connect in a unique way.

Non-speakers just know because it happens involuntarily. Ryan, do you like when you do this up at the test? I mean, is it fun to show or do you get frustrated by show? After then, you then, and then, to you then, oh then, S then, H then, oh then, W fun to show. Yeah, it's funny because people get so blown away by it and tell us it's so normal. I know, I know,

“and I always want to I know. Ryan, can you read your dad's mind to or any of your siblings' minds?”

Okay, just answer that one. Why be? Yes. Yeah, it's from a listener. Some non-speakers appear to demonstrate a form of knowing that goes beyond typical intuition. In certain cases, they seem to anticipate future events or outcomes with notable consistency in ways or resembles pre-cognition or about like perception. From your perspective, how should this phenomenon be understood? Okay, and Ryan answered, it should really be perceived as a sense

that has been developing because the control of our speech isn't there. We took control in another sense. And then, we asked for clarification, and he said, it's difficult to explain how the sense was developed, but over time it has strengthened to the point where it is happening unconsciously. Beautiful. I think that's all the questions. Okay, Ryan. Okay, so I just want to

and then, oh, we're done. No, no, no, no, keep finishing. Get your thought. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. And then, oh, then, and then, S then, P then, E then, get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Then, K then, E then, are then S. Thank you, Kai, for championing, championing, non-speakers. I feel like you're championing all humanity. You're really the one to be celebrated. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can go online the couch. Really

quick since he's cozy on the couch. I'll just tell me a little bit about his dreams. He's dating and what are some of the things he's writing has a lot of dreams. He really wants a college degree. And I've even said to him a few times and he's in college and I've even said to him if you times like, you know, there's so much like busy work. Like, we can just educate you without all the

“nonsense of all this stuff you have to go to the hoops you have to jump through to get it to”

green. He's like, oh no, I want my degree. So he wants a degree. He wants mathematics to gray. He wants his career to be advocacy for non-speakers. He even has ideas of schools. He has this idea of creating a school where the younger kids can see the older adults actually spelling and using their spelling and productive ways so that they have like mentors that they can see where their life can move towards. He talks about that a lot and he really wants to help little

non-speakers not go through what he went through. And he has friends. I mean, the biggest thing in life really is he has friends. Good friends. He roller skates every Wednesday with all his

spelling friends. He's always skied. He skies a lot. He bike rides with all his friends. He goes to the

movies with all his friends. They spell together in group sessions. He he just started seeing a female in his spell group who asked him out which is very exciting and they're getting to know each other. And he like he said he loves his life. Maybe he can just talk about Ryan when he started writing songs and some of these are hip-hop songs which is really fun. When he's out writing these.

“Remember when you asked me like, what are the things that I learned about Ryan?”

The one big one was his deep relationship with God and that he was very serious and intellectual. And because he could have been anything. He could have been a jokester. He could have been, you know, but and the other thing I learned was his deep deep love of music. And I didn't know that.

I knew he knew different bands but it was always like he would be more often than not

be telling me to turn music off. But he has all these favorite bands and he started writing music right away. It just it just came out of him. Nobody suggested it. I'm not music, but lyrics and poetry. Yeah, he played instruments to it. He does. But with his Apaxia, it's difficult. He said his biggest dream would be that he would be able to sing his own songs. And he does sing with a music teacher. But with the Apaxia, it's really hard. And he said his the thing he's most proud of is his songs.

“He really loves writing his songs. So yeah. And then he said he wanted to write hip-hop,”

Ryan said, "What's give it a try?" And he just he just bailed out that whole song and one sit. I want to read some of the chances. We haven't gotten anyone yet to put it to hip-hop music. So I want to do that. First hip-hop song, repair yourself. Repair yourself. Ryan Heller tends to say, "My course doesn't happen every day. Born apcar the best, not sure of the rest. I could read. I could lead.

The time and pain under the sheets. You let all the team talk while you sleep. Met to decide my destiny. Well, all I want is some rest of me. Killing it with my spellings to live in my mama's dwelling. Happy for all we have in ways, love is the staff. But I got to make my way. Mama will be gone one day.

Verse 2, "I win your game, lose your fame. Ryan Heller is stoked to show all this shit that I know. You will be hell-a-sup prized if you rally on my side. So help me communicate so I can run all the way out the gate, making my way to university so I can let out every verse in me. Understand all that I plan. Stories help you, man.

Map out my life. I may even love a wife. You are there for good. All are experimenting. Map to path to be understood. Sorry."

So never doubt us. Tons about us. Repair yourself. You're very good. You can surpass that childhood.

Oh, I know of that. Oh, another thing he told me when he could finally spell is I said,

Because every year I would get radio. And then there would just be all these radios piled up in

the corner of his room never used. So he spelled, "I would really love private cooking lessons with a chef."

“And so that's what he's been doing ever since. So he cooks with a chef. He loves to cook.”

He cooks meals for me. He's like he said, "I love my life." I mean, what more can you, what more words do you want to hear from your autistic adult who's been to hell and back a thousand times over? And I just like such a testament to why spelling is so important. Because if your child is unreliable, speaking, or non-speaking, can't say what they want. Maybe reliably for the birthday. You would have ever thought

private cooking. Private cooking? I know. I mean, I had no idea. So many things. I mean,

“that's the beauty that I bought to know my own son at 23 years old. I remember being like,”

"Can we go through the dinosaur stage stage now?" Those things you miss, you know? And it's beautiful. I mean, it's just a really beautiful special relationship. And he has no anger left for anybody.

I mean, it's nothing but love for everybody. Well, you're an incredible role model.

“I think for so many parents out there. I mean, really, it's like your love shines through”

and your perseverance. And what a beautiful, I mean, the fact that he's ended here. I know. I'm so happy. I'm just so happy. It's worth everything. That's it for this episode of The Talk Tracks. But new episodes will be released every Wednesday. So stay tuned. As we work to unravel all the threads, even the veiled ones that knit together are reality. And please remember to stay kind, stay curious, and that being a true skeptic requires an

open mind. Thank you to my amazing collaborators. Producers Katherine Ellis and Selena Kennedy,

technical directing audio mix and finishing by Jeremy Cole, opening and closing music by Elizabeth P.W. and original logo and cover art by Ben Condor Design. I'm Kai Dickens, your executive producer, writer, and host.