Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?

Jennifer McGee: Silent voices, Loud Love and advocating for her autistic nephew

17d ago26:324,608 words
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In this episode we hear from Jennifer McGee, a visual artist and advocate for autism. Jennifer shares her transformative journey of adopting her non-verbal autistic nephew, Isaiah, and becoming his de...

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Welcome to Why Not Me Embracing Autism and Mental Health worldwide, hosted by...

Manjor, broadcasting from the heart of music city, USA National Tennessee.

Join us as our guest share their raw, powerful stories.

Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears.

These real life journeys inspire, connect and remind you that you're never alone.

We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Toon in, be inspired and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Manjor. Welcome to Why Not Me Embracing Autism and Mental Health worldwide. Joining us today is Jennifer McGee. She's a visual artist of over 25 years who travels

the country promoting her business body possessed to various events. Now her greatest masterpiece is her autistic nephew Isaiah whom she welcomed into her life

as his devoted guardian at age 15. This led to her book Is Ecan Talk, which follows young

Izzy a non-verbal boy using sign language, pictures and a speech pad to connect in a heartfelt way. She will also talk about her upcoming sequel Is Ecan Talk, but he can make friends which celebrates inclusion and the magic of connection. Today, she is her journey from artist to advocate inspired by Isaiah, which has set her on a path to amplify the neurodiverse voices proving art and heal and unite. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back

with an uninterrupted show right after he word from our sponsors. Thanks for coming on. Well, I'm so excited. I'm excited to be here with you and to talk about autism and inclusive art house. Yeah, so if you would tell us how it all started. So in 2020, my husband and I adopted our nephew who was 15 at the time. He is a non-speaking, completely nonverbal and he had not had any therapy at all. He needed a home and we, you

know, we love him, but we had no idea. Like what to do with autism, what it even really entailed. So 2020, all of our events were shut down because I do face painting. And so we just really took that time to learn about autism and look for resources for Isaiah and there's just not a lot. So that's really how it started us learning and seeing a need and trying to educate ourselves and other people. That makes total sense. Did you know he was autistic

before you adopted him? For sure, but we really didn't know what that meant. I mean, you know, of course, like we saw him like it broke the parties and we spent time with him, but not at the level of, okay, we have to pair for him and what does that really mean? Yeah, absolutely.

I think this is really interesting. This is a completely different scenario. Most parents

find out that their children are autistic at a very young age. Now, you have an autistic nephew that's 15 and you're just starting to find out what autism is all about. I think many people would admire you for the road that you took with this. By doing this, what path did you see yourself going down? What was you learning? So really, that I don't know anything and I need to just continue to learn. And so I wrote a children's book. As I was understanding

Isaiah, I wanted other people to understand him. And so the book is called "Is He Can't Talk" in the book. We really discussed the communication techniques that we use, such as sign language, speech pad, picture card, pegs, is really big in our life. But then also as an artist, I feel the need to create art that is inclusive of people with autism and also people with

mental health issues and other disabilities. What were some of the first things that you learned?

You adopted him? He's autistic? No, in verbal? What path did you take? What did you find initially?

You were facing the big unknown? How did you navigate through that? What were the first steps

that you took? So the first thing is we knew that Isaiah, I mean, he's significantly developmentally delayed. He could not open a water bottle. I mean, he's level three as profound autism. And so to us, we didn't really see it as autism, it was just Isaiah. Isaiah is different, but it's when we started seeking therapies that it was explained that he has autism. So we were very fortunate to get speech therapy and occupational therapy and then eventually find an ABA therapy

That would take him because he's older.

feel like that once they're 15, they're too far gone. And then once he started ABA, the BCBA started to teach us how to teach him and how to set up his routine and use communication and just

all of the things to really start understanding his behaviors. And that was a game changer.

Okay, so that was how long ago? So that was 2020. So we've had him for five years.

Okay, five years. Now, what are some of the changes you've seen in these past five years?

Oh, wow. So when we first got him even before, he came to live with us. We went on a few like small trips and we would go to dinner and we would may have to leave the restaurant because he would start throwing his glass across the restaurant or running all through the restaurant. When he first came to live with us breaking a lot of TVs, just aggressive behavior that we learn is communication. He really had zero functional communication. So not being able to tell us that, you know,

my stomach is hurting or, you know, I want a lemonade, not tea. You know, just little things like that. So once we started giving him these avenues to communicate and along with the other ABA techniques, we really started to see significant change in his behavior. You said at times he got aggressive. That could be meltdowns. That could be other various things. Have you seen a change in that? Is that more under control now with everything that you've

been doing? Oh, yeah. And for Isaiah, he's normally very gentle anyway. So even at his worst, the meltdowns weren't as significant as I know a lot of other families have to deal with. But for

sure, we were at a point where we were when we first got him, okay, we didn't think we would be

able to travel for work anymore. Like today, he flies. He travels with us actually a good bit. He's not with us right now, but he travels a good bit. That's a complete, you know, change for him. So tell me a little bit about how he travels with you and what that looks like. I really want to reiterate how well he travels. And for our lifestyle, we really thought we were going to have to give up our career. I've been doing events for over 20 years. We just didn't

think that we were going to be able to do it or working with him and introducing him to travel and doing it slowly. He really enjoys it. We've taken him to Disney world and that's how we, we know he loves roller coasters, trying those different things. And I feel that is something that our family really can help other people with is don't be scared to go into the community. You do have to navigate it with safety, of course, but it's your community too. And Isaiah has

every right to live his best life as anybody else. And we don't have to keep him hidden away. And I think there's a lot of families that feel like they're embarrassed or they're worried about what their loved one is going to do. Do it anyway. The world needs to see you. This is you're living

your life is your advocacy. So I think that's really, really important and little by little. Again,

he flies. We never thought we'd be able to take him on a plane. Slowly we went to the airport,

several different times, getting him familiar with the things. Delta has a wonderful program and using those different things the TSA has a special line that you can go through. Those accommodations make it possible for Isaiah to to fly and enjoy life. Have you had any issues with people? They didn't understand anything about autism. And for lack of a better word, they would just rude because of it. Very little. We did have an issue one time in I think we're in Florida. I

don't remember. We were somewhere. And Isaiah loves the hot tub. So we tried to stay in hotels or resorts that have hot tub. So we get to the hot tub and there was a young man in his mid 30s. His girlfriend started to leave. And he was in the hot tub and he said, don't leave me. Or don't leave me. He made some comment like that. We just ignored it. Isaiah got in the hot tub. He moved a little close to the guy. He didn't touch him. I mean, he wasn't in his bubble. He jumped out of that hot tub.

Like he was going to get poodies or like he was going to catch autism. It was really disgusting. That was horrible. But most of the time, and I would say over 95% of the time, people are really

kind and accommodating. So it's very encouraging to see. And that's why I say people need to get out.

Don't be scared to get out. Yeah, that's great. Now is he still nonverbal? Only recently has we've started to hear a few syllables. Ma, that's his most regret. He hums a lot, but no speech at all. Okay. Now he's 20, correct? Yes. Yes. He's 20. So what do you see in the next few years for him? You're continuing to do things. You're continuing to help him evolve. What do you see coming down the path for him in the future? Well, with the syllables that we've heard, we're really

Hoping that we will get some speech.

that would be phenomenal. But I just enjoy seeing Isaiah embracing his own life. For example,

we know that he loves music. We were in Florida walking along the beach and there was a restaurant

that had a live band. He went right in, sat down, and he didn't want to leave. And you could just see on his face how much he was enjoying the music. And so discovering these things that he likes, it's very rewarding for us. And it also gives us the path to put more things like that in his day. Now that you're five years into this, things are starting to work out more.

Did you have any reservations when you first started this? Because you was getting overwhelmed

by the autism and not having a grasp on what it was? Yes. Oh, for sure. I mean, I probably had a couple of meltdowns. Actually, I know I did just crying, just feeling hopeless. And we wouldn't be able to take care of him and have scary that is for him and also for us. It's it's very emotional, you know? And yeah, yes, I hear that all the time. That's a very natural response. How has it changed from the time that he first came to live with you

to now five years later? Well, it's definitely more of a connection like I know that he enjoys our company. There have been times that he's actually coming set down beside me. He really is connected to my husband Brandon. And there have even been times that he's coming like late his head on his shoulder in the beginning and all throughout his life. I was in the room when he was born.

So I've always been around Isaiah, but we've never had any kind of connection like that. He's never

had a closeness. And we didn't understand autism. We thought he was more comfortable with us being far away from him. So to see him now, you know, enjoying our company. And of course, he still likes his space. But yeah, but just knowing and having that confidence and that he does want affection and closeness, he'll even give us a hug. We asked for a hug. Yeah. That's great. That actually was one of my next questions. Texture and touching. Does he have an issue with

either one of them? So he'll hug us. That's it. You know, then he wants to go and, you know, sit down in his spot. Not so much texture. I mean, he's pretty tolerant of most things. Yeah, but he

definitely likes his space. Yeah. I get that completely. What did his school look like? Was it private?

Was it public? What uh happened there? So he was in school. He was in public school. But his level of communication and ability. We were recommended that he get full-time ABA at home so that he could develop his daily living. That really changed everything for our family and for Isaiah. They started working with him on his morning routine, helping him learn to shower and us how to help him shower and how to build on those skills and the brushing teeth. I mean, everything, even setting the table,

unloading the dishwasher, I never thought that those were skills that he would be able to do. So we

know before the ABA, we didn't even try to implement chores or him, you know, helping bring in groceries, those type of things. Okay, so when you go to school, you go through the grades you graduate. Now,

how has his journey been from school to ABA therapy and doing everything he's being taught?

How have you seen him change on that? And most important, how is he doing now? So when we don't work on a skill all the time, there's some regression, but very little. We've really, I'm really proud of him. For example, we practice going to the doctor that was something really big that the therapist worked on him, you know, putting the monitor in his ear, doing a tongue depressor. And when we've actually had to go to the doctor, he was so comfortable. And we use calm counts. I mean, we're right

there with him during calm counts. So that's been really good. I haven't seen a lot of regression, but some. Okay. What are some of the things that he really excels at? You know, it's so funny. We have seen him balance like a guitar on the back of the couch. And none of us, none of the adults, none of the other kids could do it. But he just balanced that guitar on the back of the couch. He also took a chair and put it on one leg and balanced it in the kitchen. And we were all just

amazed. Like, as they, how how did you do that? And we couldn't do that. So that is something that he's really excelled at. Just watching his personality evolve. He loves roller coasters. And we have a golf cart. He loves right in the golf cart. And if I stop, he's trying to push the accelerator

Make it go.

How would you describe his personality? What's it like? He's very laid back. He's very

much an observer. He likes to just sit in his spot and just chill out. And just like anybody else,

I mean, there's times that he wants to be mischievous and funny. And we know that. And we can see those grans on his face. He's very much a foodie. And we love to eat. We love to travel. So we know he loves tacos. You just know that he loves these things. So his personality is very chilled. Yeah, that's great. With all this going on, did this lead to you starting a charity? No, it's actually it's not a charity. We're actually working on that. So I have a business

of face painting business. When I wrote the book, I created inclusive art house as a business because

I didn't really know. Like, I really really know what to do. I just knew I wanted to create art.

And I mean, I created the business to protect the art. But as I've evolved with this, we don't really bring in very much revenue. I support it with my other business. It's just become a passion of our family to just make the art and the books and I'm due library readings and different things for advocacy. How do you see that evolving? Do you see that getting to the levels of being a charity? What's the plans on that? Yeah, that is what we're we're thinking to turn it into

a charity. Currently, I'm working with other charities. For example, the art of the United States, we did some design work for them for a fundraiser that they have. And I work with a lot of libraries, like I said in schools. So just partnering with them. I'm hoping that we can get enough revenue to sustain our expenses. We have a couple of full-time artists that do illustrations with the book and the art. I want to show you one of the pieces right here. General Yolester's can't see, but this is one of the

pieces. You see the green ribbon for mental help. In the background, you can see there's a sign language. The sun flowers represent invisible disabilities. This is just I feel like this is our signature piece because it represents all disabilities and everyone has the right to be themselves and have support and acceptance. So what is some of your goals? What are your plans for the next three, four, five years from now? So I'm really interested with the charity work in helping

autistic people find work and purpose for like, for example, what that would look like, maybe helping stock shelves for a food bank or, you know, he doesn't have a lot of technical skills, but he can put things on a shelf. And just that makes him feel good. So finding ways to to help autistic individuals find purpose and work, even though it may not be like traditional work.

That's really important to me. Yes, I think that's a great thing to be passionate about.

So what do you see in your future for the advocacy that you're trying to do? What are your plans? What are your thoughts? Can you expand on your plans for the future? So I attend a lot of conferences. I'm still feel like I'm new and I'm educating myself. And as I'm on this journey, I'm trying to write, do podcasts, make the art, and put it out into the world, but I'm still very much learning myself. So my advocacy is learning and educating others as I'm learning.

I went to the profound autism summit in Boston this year. It was really amazing.

That's a great group. If any of your listeners can go to the profound autism alliance, and there's just a wealth of information there for people that have them profound autism. I went to the international conference for autism and neurodivergent persons in Orlando this year. I met Temple Grandon, amazing. Just her story is so inspiring and she just hits so even though her diagnosis was so long ago, it's still very relevant today and it's so much to say.

So that's what I want to continue to do. And really find ways to help in the community

that are profoundly autistic kids and adults can participate in the community in some way to give them purpose. What are some of the things that you've learned from these conferences that you've went to? You went there just to learn a little bit, meet a few people, engage, then all of a sudden you found things out that you said, "Whoa, I didn't realize this." I had a conyard was something that I didn't realize was such a big thing that parents are dealing with. I don't

think a lot of times people don't understand or know what that is. I'm still like learning about it but just getting tested for that and change how you're treating the autism because it can be more than just autism and the behavior. So that was really eye-opening and it's so hard what some families have to go through. I feel really blessed even though art struggle is hard. Yes, it's very tough for many different people. It all just depends upon the spectrum of where they

Fall and how the families have to deal with it.

myths and sections about autism. So these conversations are really really important for sure.

Yeah, that's absolutely true. Now you wrote a book. It's been out for a while. Can you give us

a little more information about the book? So yeah, Izzy can't talk. I wrote it in 2023. Yeah, it was

published at the end of 2023. So it's gotten some good feedback. Actually, just finished the second

book. Izzy can't talk, but he can make friends. So the first book we talk about the communication, the different ways. And in the second book, we talk about the social part of autism and what Isaiah experiences like when he meets a new person and kind of the process is that he goes through. And that will actually be released in November. That's great. Can you tell the listeners where they can get this? They can get it on Amazon, of course, but also our website inclusivearthouse.com

has all of our books. We have three coloring books. Oh, that's good. Can you give us a little more information about that? The coloring books are really cool. They're activity books. They kind of back up the book with activities that you can do to reinforce the learning the communication. We have some word searches that are done in sign language. And yeah, that's really good. Now, what do you see happening when he meets someone new? You just brought up the social part of it. How is his

social activity and interaction? How does he react when he meets someone for the first or even

possibly the second time? Yeah. So he takes time to warm up. The key to Isaiah's heart is food.

He's a foodie. So I'll tell you a little story. We were traveling with that with some of our artists. And they did a Chick-fil-A run and got themselves Chick-fil-A. Well, one of the girls ate the all the Chick-fil-A, and Isaiah was sitting right there. One of the guys gave Isaiah some of his Chick-fil-A. So for the next few weeks, anytime the girl would come up and say, hey, Isaiah, he just he would not acknowledge her. But the young man that gave him the Chick-fil-A, he was all about the high five,

and it was really, really funny. He finally did warm up to Andrea, the young lady, but it was really funny. It was very clear that he was upset that she snubbed him and didn't give him any Chick-fil-A. Oh, that's interesting. Yes. Well, that's a big part of interacting because at least by doing that, he's interacting and evolving. Exactly. And we've seen that develop over the years for sure

in the beginning very much just to himself. As a matter of fact, the BCBA told me that she had never

seen a person that she had no idea how to motivate him. And so she started with gummy bears. And that's how she won him over was with gummy bears. And then from there she was able to build on that. So with everything that you've been learning, what you've been going through for the past five years, you've been going to the forums, the conventions, everything that you can do to find out more about autism. Now, how do you see this all blending together to help him help your advocacy and continue

to build on what you've learned? You know, I feel like that this is my duty and my purpose. And I'm really excited and grateful that I have the ability to do this work. So I really want to keep building on it. I feel like that there's so many parents that are just struggling to survive and they don't have this platform that I have. So I'm very, very grateful. And I really just want to continue connecting with other parents and also with legislators. I feel like that we really have to reach out

to our representatives so that the laws can, that there can be support in the system. So that's where I feel like my work is really headed. So have you got in that arena yet? Have you spoken with any legislators? How is that progressing? I've tried. I went to Washington a few months ago, actually being part of the profound autism alliance. They do a lot of advocacy in Washington and they encourage all 50 states for it in all of the 50 states and give a lot of guidance about

how to participate in interstate. So I'm getting more involved with that. Yeah, I think that's really

great. The more you get involved, the better, especially when you get into the legislative part of it. So what do you think is really important that our listeners here on what you've been through, what you're going through now, as well as your plans for the future? What do you think that they

need to hear? Just never give up and really just keep trying different things and reach out for support.

There is support there. You may have to look for it, but just don't give up. In terms of what we're doing, I would love to hear from anyone. I enjoy doing readings and coming to events. I think that's

Really good.

Yeah, that's really good. Well, this has been great. Great conversation, great information. I really

appreciate you taking the time to join us today. Yeah, I'm so grateful for the work that you're doing,

talking about mental health and autism. This is how change and acceptance happens is having these

conversations. So I really appreciate the work that you're doing. Oh, it's my pleasure. Thanks again.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you

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