Watch What Crappens
Watch What Crappens

#3243: Summer House S10E5: Rein There Done That

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This is part one of a two-part recapCiara finds out Jesse asked to make out with her at a Summer House Renaissance Fair party and…cries. I guess I wouldn’t want that mouth chasing me either, tbf. The...

Transcript

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[music]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappon!

I'm Ronnie, that's been hello, Benoom! Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good! Everybody, welcome to a summer house and day. Before we get started, you have like a week and a half to get tickets for the Golden

Crappies, live stream, resstream, it's up now. You can get tickets at Watch What Crappon.com. It was such a fun, shah, watch it, tah, it will not be released. It will be released as audio, but the video is not going to be released on Crappon's on demand and all that.

So this is it, it's the last time. Go get it!

It's your chance to see Ronnie brandishing a keytar, okay?

I'm Ben singing in his Ramona. That's right. Those links.

Me barely avoiding the pain like honey leaves as I ride the round on that stage.

Last night, my dad said, "What was the song Ben was singing? Did he write that?" And I said, "Yes." Well, he wrote the words. He said, "But what's the song?"

I said, "It's from Chapel Rome," and he said, "Who's that?" And I said, "It's a song called Pink Pony Club," he said, "I'm going to look that up." I really enjoyed it. Oh, thank you. Did you tell Ben, "Hey, should I upload it?"

And I said, "Yes." But I don't know. Chapel Rome, like that. He said, "Who's Chapel Rome?" Which is the one he wrote the song.

Hello. It was a circular conversation, but you came out really good in it. Thank you. As did you, and speaking of your dad, like shout out to our parents, we had our parents present at the award for Best Quote, and it was like a big video up on the screen.

So if you want to see what our parents look like.

So good. So that alone. My dad said, "Wow, Ben's parents looked so good." I mean, I need to figure out how to make us look better, because we were just staring from way above.

I said, "No, I like that." That's why I kept it like that. I said, "I could've been my fan." I'm sure he looked really good, I said that I liked it, because that's how you talk to me on FaceTime.

He's like, "Okay." Well, Ben, tell Ben, thanks for telling Ben to shoot us next time. Well, my parents loved your parents, my dad was like, "Oh, they were so funny." I was like, "I know I gave, we gave like Ronnie's parents all the really funny lines, but they were just so funny, and my dad was like, "No, no, you should have, they were so

funny. They were great. They were so good." Well, if you're going to get someone to call anyone else, it got Dick Sucker, Ron does the way to go.

Ron is the path for sure. The best was how she was like, it looked like she was cold reading it, right?

She had never seen the quote before, so the look on her face, as she realized the words

that you would give in her to her site, she's like, "Gout, Dick Sucker." They literally asked me that after that. They were like, "Do you get gout in your dick?" And I said, "In your penis," and I said, "No, I don't think so." It's just what she called him.

And my dad said, "Well, that's good, because I have gout. I was starting to worry." Well, it was a great, obviously, like, you know, it was great having them on there. And I loved that the audience got to finally see the people behind us, because, like, Lord knows, we've talked about our parents, especially you over the past 14 years.

So it was like really special to put them up there on that screen. So for sure, get that kids, we stream, and also, by the way, I'm just going to say this, it looked so good, it looked like we were streaming on Netflix or something like that. I was like, "What the hell?" I was like, "We've never looked at this professional," I was like, "Oh, read.

This is amazing." So I was very excited by it. And we will have a newsletter coming out tomorrow, like a special free midweek newsletter on the road to the crappies, just kind of our backstage experience getting that together, because it was really, really fun.

So check that out over on Patreon. All the newsletters are free. Patreon's also where you get videos of our shows at free listening and bonus episode. I wrote "Lick a novel." I apologize for an advance.

I love it, that's what it's for.

Yeah, that's what it's for, let's do it.

Okay, everybody, let's get into this. It is summer house season 10, episode 5, summer nights, but spelled K and I, G, it. Beatles, who doesn't love a run fairer? Run fair, it's going to be the most epic party of all of summer house. Cool.

Can you modify called us? Software? Ho! Paul has the meat, please. Oh, no.

Sorry. It's called a Renaissance Faire. Paul's going to be a great time. The Renaissance Faire. So everyone's getting ready and Sierra and me are hanging out and Sierra is saying how

our boobs are hanging out and she's like, yeah, when you're talking about your ass not

Fitting in shit, I'm nothing but sympathetic.

So they're like joking. I love me.

I think me, I feel like she's been there for three years.

She's so at ease with this whole cast, the way she just has stepped in and it feels like she's always been there. I think she's a fantastic casting choice. Good job, Bravo. Yeah, I think she's pretty good.

I mean, she hasn't done much at you, you haven't, you don't really know until someone

gets into their first argument with someone like they have to test their metal.

But yeah, so far, I like everybody so far, actually. I think everybody's doing a good job. I think Bailey is veering into theater kid territory, especially today with their wacky. Like we're going to pretend to be a bush, a little with the full on clown music for 10 minutes. It's like, okay, it's like a little theater kid got on TV, but I still like her because

it is true theater kid where you like the really hot guy. But then no matter what you do, the hot guy doesn't even see you. I know. And if you're gorgeous. So it's very theater kid and I am a theater kid, so you know, I'm rooting for one of our

own. Yeah, exactly. So Jesse comes walking into Sierra's room, dresses a king, and Sierra's like saying he's got a like narrative as a cape or whatever. And then Amanda, she's decided for this red and fair, she's going to wear a goat face.

And she's like, oh, I'm a bad girl.

It looks like I've had dick on my face.

Oh, no, I can't see a dick on your face, I can't see it, man. So then Jesse's putting on a towel like a cape and West is lying in his bed with the Sierra cut out just standing next to him. They're trying to make it like West is super jealous every time he hears Jesse in the hallway talking to Sierra.

But he's just kind of looking at the side, you know, scrolling through his phone. But they keep playing like John John music like he's super jealous.

I think West is really, I mean, I know that they're trying to play this up.

I think West is just too lazy to be jealous. I don't really think he cares that much. Well, he's definitely too lazy to become confrontational because last week he confronted Jesse about asking to make out with Sierra and he was like, all the guy said that's weird. So he couldn't even say that he thought it was weird.

And in this episode, she just has been really mad at you about it. Wow, Ben really thought that was weird. Whoa, Ben, the hottest guy in the house, pretty absurd. KJ told me he doesn't know what it's if he's going to be able to not be a lover boy this summer.

And also he's upset at you. I don't know. Just his words, KJ was really uncomfortable with you saying that also he's uncomfortable not being a lover boy. So what are KJ's abs implants?

Because those abs are too insane. And I've only seen ab implants on like older guys. We saw a lot of them in Miami. Remember where we passed those. Like those are aptly implants.

Look. Because Ben was like, ab implants. It's like, yeah. Guys don't like boob jobs for dudes. So I kept trying to point him out to Ben.

That was what I was looking for about food. So I don't think his abs are implants.

I think those sometimes there is like a thing that like if you, your ab exercises, I think

I'm just like in an incorrect way or whatever, you develop your abs that they sort of develop sort of like, convex instead of concave or maybe it's the other way around. And so they sort of, they sort of bulged out on him a little bit in a way that's like, we don't normally see, but I think that they are real. Well, they're a work of art.

I mean, whoever did them, whether he did them, God did them, you know, a person from the FX show, FX or whatever that show was, whoever did them, they look like, they look great. Those are crazy abs. But like even when he's like a stomach sound, you know, he looks like a little beer

bellied and by that, I just mean like pushing his stomach out or whatever. Yeah. They're still there. I don't know. I'm just confused by the abs, but great job.

I mean, I've never had abs, so I just don't understand how they work.

So when I see them that intense, I'm like, wow, is that a thing that people do? You know? Yeah. He really, I guess so. He's really got it all, huh?

He also has a lot of lip gloss on in his confessionals and that, oh, I'm speaking of, I need to put some lip healing on. Yeah. Okay. Good.

Get it on, Ronnie. I'm kind of like the abs are amazing, but then the lip gloss pulls me back, you know. You know, I'm like, well, I don't mind if people have like, you know, they're standard amount. Like what you just did, that's fine.

But there's sometimes people put lip gloss on, and their lips are so shiny. It's like something. Just, I just don't like it, you know, and I know that I'm not necessarily majority. I think it's actually considered like nice to have shiny lips. I think it's like, like, I love a nice shine on my little lip shine.

I don't like to see someone, and they look like they just made out with a jar of gasoline. I don't know. It's like not my vibe, but that's just a, that's a taste thing. It's a personal thing.

It's just, you know, it's just me, doesn't mean that it has to be that way fo...

else. One time, I, I, I mentioned this once a few years ago, and someone was like, man, I threw it on my lip gloss just for you, and I was like, no, no, no, don't throw out your lip gloss for me. You could keep doing what you're doing.

I'm just saying, I just don't like, it's like, it's like, I've always not liked it.

Like, a school plays when they have to be like lipstick on your lips, you know, for the stage. I've always hated it. I don't know what it is. I don't like shit on lips. Yeah, I love lip gloss, but I respect your opinion.

I respect your wrong opinion, but also your lips right now, I can see them. They don't look like they are, you know, like the, they don't look like there's some sort of cake topping. You know, when they like make the, the fruits all shiny and everything, like your lips like normal, you know, they're just sort of lubricated up, but they're not out of control.

I just don't want to say such as the lights and your lips, you know?

Okay. Yeah, fair. Okay. Is there anything else you want in it, pick about KJ before we move on? No, I, I think, generally I, I'm fine, I think you want anything on your end.

No, it's just funny, KJ is like the least offensive person, I think, the least offensive

guy to be on the show in a long time or like, abs, real or not, lip gloss got to go. Lip gloss, what do you think? That's such a little thing about KJ. Just hearing him apart. But the point is actually that West is very passive here, and so when you said, I think

he's not really jealous, part of me feels like he's just going to ask someone else to be jealous for him, because he doesn't want to do it himself. It's time for commercial, it's time for a crappy commercial. So they all, now it's time to come downstairs into the party and so Carl's at the bottom staircase.

Carl, Carl, 14, but why don't, and now that I'm all downstairs, I'm in the mix, that means that this is morning down here, because we're all upstairs. All announced, he was like, come down the staircase. We've got Benjamin all the way from Australia. I'll show you it.

Look right by the way. Oh, hello, you're still as tall. KJ from Kansas City. KJ from KJ. See what I got there?

Oh, just solo, full of Chicago, Illinois. It's great guys, this announcing is going so great. I'm going to put Tula all the way from New Jersey. She's like, oh, the way. Man, I'm missing it.

So everybody comes down and Bailey's like, oh my God, do I look like that?

Like someone from the Lord of the Rings. Kind of. Ben says better. Oh my gosh, thank you. But I mean, let's think of the cast of Lord of the Rings.

It's not saying you look better than 80% of that cast is still like a what the fuck did you mean by that? Ben's like, you do look like someone from Lord of the Rings, kind of like when Frodo puts on that ring. Oh my God, wasn't he invisible when he did that?

Precisely. Who was talking to me? He looked like someone from Lord of the Rings Hobbit land or whatever that was called the Hobbit. So Lindsay comes downstairs and of course his dress like a queen and Carl's still stuck

there. He's like, oh, sure. I have to announce how abouts, oh, oh, oh, oh, you look right by the way. Oh, I did it. I did it.

Thank you. I'm the man. Because I'm a queen, God. And so he bows and he's like, oh my God, we're friends now. I mean, let's think of like friends, oh my God, I can't believe that.

Oh my God. She's in the mix. You see the smile, my face. Mailons, you're like, friends again, like, oh, a little bit. Let's go.

Satter is for the boys. Oh, put your weight on me. Oh, the last thing I care about is Carl and I don't get the fuck about Carl. So let's just have the mom going to be nice to Carl, I don't even care. And Sierra does the thing, she's dressed as a playground because Sierra every year, she, as

the bomb show that she is, she always puts on a costume.

Completely obscures her, which I think is so funny.

So this year, she is a giant rat and she's going to spread. She's like, I'm here to spread the bubonic plague. Like it's not going to be the first thing that was spread around this house. That's for sure. I was going to say you're sharing your house with West and Jesse.

So somehow the bubonic plague sounds like a cold. She's like, yeah, this is my primordial pouch right here. So she said it was either that or dressing as a turkey leg but then Carl said he was getting turkey leg. So I came as a rat.

So I would have preferred the turkey leg. Is there even such a thing as a turkey leg costume? I think that would have been amazing. I'm sure. So now the guest started arriving and Sierra's sexy dancing as a rat.

Of course, Jesse's like, whoa, boom, there's a morning as song about someone. I'm not going to tell you what's about, but it's about being a rat carrying a bubonic plague. Bailey's like, oh my Lord, I do not remember this in medieval times.

I don't, whatsoever, because I was like, yeah, Jesse, does this do this very,...

So they're just like galvanizing.

You know, it's party times. They're all doing crazy stuff and Lindsey goes up to West.

He's like, well, that's the way, what were you and Jesse talking about in the pool?

And he's like, um, this year I think 'cause I truly think that she'd like laughing on his face for saying that, would you agree, right? Like Sierra, she's like, no one for being pretty chill when guys talk about her behind her back, right? Like, she'll probably laugh about it, it was like, um, I don't know, not that much.

For those of you who weren't here, it's because, um, he was like, hey, you know, I've been reaching to make out with Sierra, oh, so he's like, yeah, Sierra would just laugh in his face. And Lindsey goes, um, I don't know, and he's like, wait, well, maybe I'm wrong then. Do you think Sierra likes Josie?

And she's like, well, I mean, does Sierra even know that and, like, what now? Is like, well, I don't think she knows, but like, it's not my place. It sure is your place, though, Queen Lindsay, go fight my battles for me. Yeah, she's like, I've missed like the first two weeks of their show. So I gotta catch up, so all of a sudden, they're around short, it'll be me.

She's like, is it my place? It's like, probably actually of all the people who's places, it's yours. You're, it's, you're the least place. It's the least of your place, because you weren't part of that original conversation, uh, if anything.

West is an absolute, uh, gigantic, worse. I almost said mega worse, but, um, that turned into mega, and I'm not accusing him

of that, but he's a mega, mega worse, and, um, he's never going to do anything himself.

He's never going to tell anybody like somebody himself. He's never going to tell anybody. He doesn't like them by himself. He's always going to rely on other people to do everything for him. It's a very, very easy person, this guy.

That is exactly correct. So he is, like, thrilled, clearly that Lindsay's going to take this. I'm bringing it to Sierra, and West knows that Sierra is going to get mad at Jesse, but he says on camera, no, she's going to laugh because it makes us seem like he's supporting Jesse.

So it's a big ol' pats of claustrophuck, and, uh, we know that when Lindsay tells Sierra, it's not going to land well, ever. Yeah. This Sierra's very, she, she's, she has lots of, like, um, just a lot of boundaries around this kind of stuff, and she has, she's, we just know it's going to be a shit show.

And guess what? I didn't see it becoming as much of a drama as it became, but, I mean, I don't know. I don't understand how anybody would care this much to, like, run off crying. Like, oh, my God. Someone wants to make out of me.

Oh, when she explained it later in the episode, I got it a little more, but I was still, like, you're crying over Jesse. Yeah. I mean, I thought the extent of it was just going to be like, um, like, uh, this is a typical, they're talking about who gets dibs on me, but no one's actually coming to

me, which I thought, okay, I thought it'd be like that. But she actually was, well, it was interesting was it was the jokey part of it, because Jesse said, Hey, mine, if I make out with Sierra, you know, like, in a jokey way, which

I think was Jesse's way of, like, softening it for West, but that term, jokey wound up

being the real being the bonnet for Sierra, and that became the thing. And that's what I was not expecting. Yeah. So, um, Amanda is partying and she's dancing on the ground, uh, with Sierra, she's eating grass.

Like, oh my god, she's, she's, she's a grass. And I said, sexy, you know, watching Amanda reminds me of what attracted me to her

in the first place, you know, she had a great sense of humor.

She's going to be around. It's going to be a good summer. Turn the thing around. You like Amanda, because she's wasted right now. And that's the only time you like Amanda.

And last year, when you're like, oh my god, me and Amanda were finally back on track. It's when Amanda would go out and party with you all night. Yeah. And I also love when he's like, yeah, Amanda, she's still fun to be around, which is why I go out of my way to not be around her, um, like, you know, you're the one who's not

spending the time around her when you're, you're saying, she's fun to be around when she's parting. He doesn't want to be around with you. She's how much he Netflix scrolling your phone, you know, yeah.

So Ben is talking to a lady and she's like, what do you have under that cloak?

He's like, not much. And then Western men are talking forever, the guy who's, I mean, the guy just can't escape it. Just making small talk and some random's like, where do you got under that cloak? Big boy.

It's like a Jesus Christ. Is anybody gonna ask me what I'm reading? Hey, I'm not totally sold on Ben. I'm gonna say that. Yeah, he's cute.

But I feel like we have not seen much of him yet. So I don't know, he's the one of the newbies. He's the one that I feel like is the most disposable, believe it or not. Yeah. So then we go over to Western Ben and they're talking about all the chicks, the party

Bra and Ben is asking about Dara and she's on the way and West asks if he's i...

in Ben's like, yeah, she's cool, I guess.

I mean, I met Dara in the singles event and we had a little chat for a minute. Let's do a flashback and see this fascinating chat. She's like, so do you still model? He's like, yeah. It's one of the only jobs that everyone, you know, at the end of the work, the everyone

clips at the end of the work day, you know, I love that, just like, yeah, well, I'm a show, honey. I've, I've, I've lost, you know, I love that, it's a big show, honey. Huge, applaud me, do it now, fuck every your hands broken. Every performer on Broadway is furious at him, excuse you, I memorize these lines for

come from away. I didn't know that about models that people applaud you at the end of the day. I don't, by the way, that's, I don't think that's necessarily true, but I love that he's so hot that either A, it does happen, or B, he just imagines it happens, because I do also think models just assume they're being applauded everywhere they go.

It's like, hello, they had a lot to make a deposit at this bank. It's for me.

So he was like, yeah, the singles event always amiss.

I didn't know what was going on. Let's have a clip of me looking like a mess.

I think it just goes in like, yeah, I'm heart still.

People were talking to me. The whole party's a blur, you know, I thought can we please stop talking about, please. And anyway, I'm just looking forward to see Dera in a situation where it doesn't feel so forced, you know, nothing feels as unforced as a summer house party, which happened every single weekend in the back house of this set.

I know, from 2pm to 7pm with a crazy over the sort of theme. So we don't even know at this point, I mean, he'll even come to these parties anymore. They're every single week, every summer at this point, I think they have like 20 people there. And they're like, hi, are you guys serving food this time?

I feel like those parties seem so annoying because like, I mean, that's cool. You get free booze and everything, but you just have so many people just like running around and crashing into each other. There's just always so much like, frenetic energy or even kinetic energy, there's too many things.

Like at the end of the episode, we saw, at the end of the party, we saw there was like an inflatable bar of tavern area and it was like toppled over on itself. And I'm like, I don't want to go to a party where there's an inflatable house that falls forward. I don't know.

Safety. Safety. Where are the fans at this party? People were too rowdy. That's what it means.

So Dera arrives and you can tell because you can hear us like, hi, hi, Dera, hi, hi, Dera. She talks like karate chops. She does. So she's like, yeah, I'm at West years ago. We dated for like six months and then we ended for a pretty much a reason that I think

nothing has seemed to stick with West because he's a fucking loser. He just couldn't full send it, lazy bitch. So anyway, I was 30, you know, and 30s your hot girl, Eira. So like, I'm not going to spend 30s telling some man how to be a man. I mean, West is the best guy in Earth unless you're falling in love with him, fucking loser.

So here I am. Let me loose.

She's basically Kelly Preston and German wire, she's going to punch him in the face.

I'm Kelly control in the Kelly control in the Kelly control, it's like, Kelly control in the origin story. I'm not sick. I'm sick of, I'm sick of telling people I have to live at 30.

If you want to cry leave the party, cry outside of the outside, cry outside, cry outside.

That side they're in a fair. Thank you. I don't know what I was expecting, but I've exceeded my expectations which were already low because you were with the one who invited me and I think you invited me to his piece of shit garbage activity.

This party's massive. What are you even doing here? So she goes up to KJ at the bar and she's like, where did your shirt go, bro? I mean, it's like, uh, it's in sign, classy, bro, classy, he's like, what? It's hot.

I'm not wearing a shirt right now. Sorry. What is it? It's not in your journey. What was it?

A full costume at one point and then you took off your shirt? Loser. Oh my god. You're so pretty. Do you even remember meeting me on Thursday?

Hello. It's like, oh, I'm fucking stupid. Sorry. I was busy trying to control my impulse to be a lover boy. It's so hard this summer.

How can I not be a lover boy?

Your hair is really different right now, so maybe that's why I didn't recognize you.

She's like, yeah, it's curly or I'll give you that. Okay, you got one point. Wow, you're down 19, but good luck catching up. He's like, yeah, it was straight the other day. She's like, it was straighter.

That's what I said. Yeah, but I'm a confirming. It was straighter. No, I'm not saying it was straight because it wasn't straight, but it was straighter. Then it is.

So you're close. Okay. Half a point. You ever go on a really windy road? And then the next road you go on is still windy, but not as windy.

That was like my hair.

Okay. Well, did you just get here or have you been here? Yeah, I just got here.

Can't you tell him carrying around there's a weight luggage?

God, can you guess, find a place for my luggage? I just got here. Did you hear me five minutes ago? No, because I was not here. Okay, do you think I ever enter a room where you don't fucking hear me coming?

No, I don't. Is my hair straight or is it curly straighter? Okay, you can learn at least. I'll talk to you again. Go put on a shirt.

I'm trying to chuck a drink with someone because I'm so sober. So fucking sober, get me lit bro, it's like, yeah, man, shots. Cheers to me being an idiot, right? Yeah, cheers to you being an idiot, and to me having a little bit slightly curly or hair today.

Wow, lady, my hands. Yeah, she should definitely not be a nurse. She's one of those people, just pick, what the fuck? You ringed your bell again? God, do I look like I'm on fucking wheels?

I got other things going on in here. I do bleeding from the eyes, put a pillow over your face. What am I supposed to clean up the floor now? God. She needs to be an editor in a newsroom, but only a newsroom that you would see in the

movies, not a real newsroom. So that way, like there's like all the sound, like typewriters and telephones, and she walks in and stands up on a desk and is like, people, we have three hours. I don't have a cover story, I need a headline, I need a header, I need something good. We need to sell these papers, give me a lead, you over there, you glass is what do you have?

You know, because that's how they do it in the movies, but in real life, the editors just

walk around quietly. Yeah.

I basically, I'm like, I'm like, remember the movie the paper?

She should be all those characters, pretty much. So we go to the girls and Amanda's like, "I need another drink and then I got to change. I don't even know if I can get out of this outfit." And so Lindsey comes over and she's like, "Oh my God, girls, I have something to tell you." Okay, I'll tell the class, Mia, you come to.

Okay, apparently last night, and Jessie has to ask if he could make out what he was here on. And she's like, "What?" And they're like, "Well, he's got a lot of nerve." Yeah, well, West was just like, "Yeah, I don't give up the on," because you know, West

is like, whatever, and like, lazy, and but he was like, "I don't even think she's like into that." And like, if she is, like, it's kind of joking anyway, he was like kind of joking. So Amanda's like, like, he seriously wants to make out with Sierra, or he was joking around that he was asking for okay.

Where is the joking land in the sentence, Lindsey? Um, he was serious about joking. But he was serious about asking, but the make out would be joking. So be a very serious ask about a joking make out. He's like, "Planning of jokes."

Does this make sense? And so Amanda's like, "You don't jokingly make out with someone." So Mia's the-- You're just sitting there like, "I love that they're all up there." And I'm like, "What?"

"Joking making out?" "Have dairy.

I've never heard of such a thing."

What even is joking making out? We will remedy this. It should be a serious request for a serious make out, or a joke you request for a joke you make out. You're crossing the lines.

So Mia's like, "How do you feel about the Sierra?"

She's like, "Um, I'm going to like need a minute because it's like, what the fuck?

I thought you were going to--this is just not what I thought you were going to say to me. I thought you were going to just going to tell me something about your kitty again." She's like, "Well, I can do that too." So Sierra's like, "So you're asking permission for like the only person for me, but

like the only person I can give you permission is me. Both these boys make me fucking sick, honestly. I'm not going to just use lack of intention and everything's always a fucking joke to him. I mean, if it's serious enough for you to ask permission from West and like why aren't you asking permission to go out on a date and West, you don't care.

Like that annoys the fuck out of me too, 'cause like, you know what, I just--I gotta fucking make out with somebody right in front of you and see how you really feel. So now she's upset 'cause West said he also doesn't care. So it's making--I think that all this stuff is just making your feel like this unimportant piece of garbage on the side of the row that they make jokes about, make out within

the move on. Yeah, that makes sense. But of course, I'm like, "Well, he's not as scared." Because it is so fucking weird that they're like, "Oh, do you mind if I use your one more?"

Okay, it'd be great. Sure, just bring that. I'm not filled. Okay, and we've stopped ready to go. I don't wanna see your fingerprints all over him.

Okay. Yeah, we'll clean the grass out of the back. Oh, thanks. I think Sierra, you are giving--like, you're giving these men way too much power in your life because like, they're too emotionally stunted men who don't know how to simply ask

for the things that they want and you deserve much better than to like be messing around with them and their stupidity. Well, I really like Sierra.

I mean, my first thought, because she literally runs inside runs, runs inside crying.

So I was like, I mean, kind of grow up, I mean, are we in junior high? But then the other part of me, like, I get, I really like her. So I'm coming up with reasons why this isn't completely stupid.

I see the one that you're saying.

But the other one, I think, also is like, it's not even about her.

You know, and I think she senses that it's not like, "Oh, wow, we both really like Sierra.

They had an off-season. Nobody's going for Sierra on the off-season." No one's calling you to take Sierra out in the off-season. It's like they just wait until they start shooting and then it's about a competition with each other.

So it's not really even about her and I think she senses that and is like, "Okay, awesome." So I'm like, just some sexual object in these guys, you know, stupid fame because we know that Jessie and West are both obsessed with fame. Like they've--and everyone has said it since they came on this show. So I mean, I can see why she would be annoyed.

I think that being hurt is just stupid. I think it's not emotionally intelligent because like I said, these guys are just using you and you should know that by now and not get them the time of day. I wish you just went up to them and got them both together and said, "I heard you ask for permission to make out with me."

No. You're gross. And you're both funny children. So go make out with each other and then just walk off instead of it becoming like, "Oh, oh, oh."

Yeah, because the truth is, I think that there's probably also a good amount of frustration

of like, "God, I get, like I got sucked into this, into this bullshit again." You know, like, Jessie's kind of like lulled me into this friendship where he's hanging out in my bed and we're doing bed bugs up together and he just wants to have some sort of like joky kiss or whatever, which probably in her mind she's also thinking it's just

for TV and the truth is you have West who is like, not what's the right word.

I guess, emotionally mature enough to say that he does care about it, so he has to act that he doesn't care. And you've got Jessie who's going to minimize it by saying, "Yeah, it's just joky when he actually wants something more." And just like it's, I think it's just the whole emotional, stuntedness of it all and the fact

that she is now drawn into it, she's probably like, "How did I let myself get stuck with these men again?" Like, there was Austin, now there's these guys, like why do I keep falling into this trap? I have to imagine on some level she's thinking that. Well, there's also the fact that, well, not the fact that the possibility that she is

liking Jessie too because they do have this good flirt thing going on. Yeah, they've got this whole thing going on and so if she really is starting to like him and she's sensing that he's starting to like her to hear that he's like, "Oh yeah, I just want to make out with Sierra, is probably not great."

Yeah, I think that's from those points of view.

I think it was like, "Oh, sounds like she might actually like him, right?" Because I think if you like someone, these things will also affect you a bit more. Yeah. So then abandoned me or like how dare he?

And then she's like, "Well, I think Jessie is like catching a vine and he's always been

flirting, but like it's more flirting and like I think he might be catching some feelings and like is anticipating that maybe if he goes further, you know, and Amanda's like, "But Hany is at my conversation with the Uziara instead of being like a jokingly one and make out with Sierra." And me as like, and being like it's a joke, it's like it's not a joke because you're a person

who has feelings and emotions, it's not a fucking joke. Well, Sierra's like, "Yeah, it's a lot to process." Well, I feel a bit on because like you guys have a friendship and my God, I don't want it to be awkward, but like I kind of made it awkward because it's really fun for me to make stuff awkward. And I'm sorry that you got in my hobby.

Where was like the Lindsay like advice? I feel like Lindsay would be the first one to be like, "Muck, muck, muck, they don't just know me. They're just acting like toys and making play with all these other bitches, but not you." I was sort of waiting for Lindsay to have that moment, but she's like, "Oh, well, sorry,

I made your life out, oh my." So I think she just like sets the bomb and then she'll wait until the aftermath to come and like in two weeks, she'll have some advice. Yeah. She's like, "I can only do so much in a week."

Okay. I've got to keep this going for two weeks later when I come back in. I'm up right now, I'm up in town, you know? Well, they're just going to... If you're my daughter, I would be putting electricity bonkers into the homes of all

the electricity outmines, you're a genius, baby. I live, keep things away from you because you've broken so many things in your strong hands. So they go get turkey legs, which is the only reasonable next step, and then, uh, Sierra is... She goes, "I can still go get a turkey leg and not care."

I mean, talk about an impairment mantra for 2026, right? Yeah. So then, uh, Bailey and Amanda, um, are talking about shots and Amanda's like, "Um, aren't you? Are you supposed to be practicing flirting?"

'Cause that I'm all I'm in here, I live, you've been flirting with, oh my god. My friend said, "Have you hooked up with anyone?" And I was like, "Who am I going to hook up with?"

Who?

The hottest person in the world?

Probably not. I probably wouldn't even like me. Why don't you go for it with somebody? For with an actor? Get out of your comfort zone.

Use the actors. That's what they're here for.

I was rather not be one of the swordsmen who LARP for a living.

Even though I am very excited to be dressed from middle-earth. I mean, you are on the street interviewer, so... The LARPers are probably making front of you, too, to be fair. Yeah.

You are LARPING being a reporter.

Um, so Amanda's like, "What about the magician?" I mean, this guy has a big thing, as he takes knots in and out of ropes. He's like, "There's a knot that caught a slip knot. Look at him, my hand! It's back on the rope!"

It's like, can from, uh, Beverly Hills. Um, she's like, "Um, I would rather it to swordsmen, that'd be, you know, so I would rather by bad, that'd be 75 years old, that'd be cut." I mean, well, Wes just said talking to this girl, I'm going to flirt with him, and then I'm going to see if he picks up on it.

Don't walk away. Don't walk away. It's got to be hilarious. And seen. Let's do it.

So Wes comes up.

Man, she's like, "All right, everybody, watch your camera, thought I'd be?"

Okay, here we go. Let's try this. Wes, so hey, Wes. I've had a great time. How about you?

He's like, "What's up?" She's like, "Oh, what's up? What's up, Wes?" Um, how are you? Uh, I don't know.

You don't know how you are. Uh, I'm, I'm off the thrill of ringing the volcano. How, how's your journey going? Do you have a small creature following you around? Well, he's like, "I don't know if I understand what the ants are, the, the, the, the, there's

trees. They're called ants. And they're going to chase those down. What are you talking about? What?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I think this is the hottest that you've ever looked. You look so hot. You've got beard. You've got beard, you share food coming out of your bath. You look really really hot right now. And he's like, uh, okay, so he puts his sword on her shoulders to my, her, and he's like, thank you. Are you turned on? Because I'm so turned on right now. Yeah, turn on. I left thoughts. Yeah, you really do it. He's like, uh, so everything okay. She's like, this is my popcorn taste good. Yeah, you're like my popcorn. Yeah, get into my popcorn. You like it better. We. Ooh. Yeah.

He's like, um, I'm scared as a little boy. She's like, yeah, well, did you see that I was hitting on you? I was like, yeah, I think the moment he knighted her that was his way of putting physical distance between him and her. He's like, okay. I'm creating, this is like here's my actual 10 foot pull. That's like, when were you flirting? It's like right now. I was flirting with you right now. He's like, oh, it didn't work. Yes. You're flirting with me at the popcorn machine. I mean, how do you normally hit on people? I was like, oh, god, I don't know. I'm so bad at this. I had so bad at this.

So she talks about moving to New York and she had confidence, but then she was with a jerk. Now she doesn't have any confidence. And so she was like, well, yeah, but I'd ask was to hit on you and see if I had Gabe, but I guess I don't have Gabe. Should I go hit on the turkey legs guy?

And he's like, the turkey leg guy. You should tell him smoke my meat.

Oh, okay. I guess I'll do that. Um, so she basically has no game as far as that.

So now KJ is giving Dara a tour. Is it? Um, you want to see a tour of the backyard? Here's a tree. And this is another tree. And this is where Kyle P's. Okay. Well, how's the party been so far? Better now. It look pretty lame. Stupid, right? I want to leave. He's like, yeah, fair enough. It's a bad party. He's like, well, well, thank you. Thank you for this tour. That was very nice. Oh, and, uh, oh, Ben, look, hi. Hi, Ben. You're here and Ben's like laughing. Are you making a pity laugh at me, Ben? He's like, no,

they was a legit laugh. I am laughing at whatever. Nothing you were saying right now because that's what models do. We just laugh in a corner. Ben's like, well, look at him. He's going to die. The gate seems a nice touch. Wow. That where you go for bad behavior at the gate team. He's like, uh, be good. I might put you in there. Uh, uh, uh, sort of looking at all the little set pieces and stuff. And KJ is like, wow, she's so pretty. Like, initially, when she came up to me, I was like,

why is she coming to talk to me? Maybe I'm trying too hard, but there's some energy there. And then Carl's talking to some girls while holding a turkey leg. He's like, hey, I like your Beyonce, sure. That's pretty cool. The girl's like, do you get it? Oh, not really. It's from their Renaissance or oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my god. I'm so on trend. Oh my god. Wait, I can the mix. So she does like run pairs. That's like pretty cool.

No, she had a tour called their Renaissance tour.

Um, okay.

She went to Florence. Oh my god. Beyonce went to Florence. No, it's like amazing. No, Carl.

It's a, I'm just not going to explain this to you anymore, Carl. Oh, sorry. The mix is pretty

hard sometimes. If I could hit myself in the head with this turkey leg, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you actually can't do that, Carl. You can do it. I can do it. I can do it. For you. Make your choice. So now we got it. Jessie goes over to Ben's here in Amanda and he's like, oh, this is the night to the round table. Oh, and Ben's like, oh, gold that he extends. Jessie, I was just trying to hang out. It's a matter of tell them to fuck off. It's like,

"Good God." Sorry. So this year is talking to me. And this year is like, "Ficture fucking face me." She goes like, "I can't." She's like, "I just don't know how to feel about it." So like,

I'm not going to bring it up until like, I've got my handle on it. I like, I don't know what I know about it.

So she's like, I know, but I still have a stinky face. I don't care. I'm so mad at him. Talking about joking about making up a yell. I don't know. I don't know. The dressing competition is going to come in. And if you admit it, it's so now we're going to have Jessie and Sue West are going to do it. So now West and Jessie are going to do, they're going to get into like inflatable horse things with like, you know, Jessie things, whatever. And Sierra Sierra and Mia are sitting

in a table and they're watching and Sierra goes, "Oh my God." And Mia's like, "This is literally idiot versus idiot." Welcome to the show. It's been like this for 10 years. So Jessie tackles, Jessie sort of tackles, I don't know, one of them wins who cares. And it crowds like, "Kiss, kiss, kiss." So Jessie kisses West. And West is like, "Oh my God, he didn't even ask permission." And Sierra is just like, everyone's like cheering, but Sierra is watching with such

disdain and her eyes like these fucking man babies. But then it turns into her crunch. It starts to cry. And so then this is when she goes running into a room and Mia follows. And Sierra is like, "It's not flattering to me because like, I do feel like everyone just wants to experience me and I do want to have like a best friend and like someone that I can tell everyone everything to and they just like, "Look at me. I want to tell me everything." And they want to protect me. And

then like, "I don't want like, the surface level should." Stop dating guys from the show.

You have to go find a normal man. You cannot, you cannot, you cannot date West or Jessie

and expect it not to ever be serviceable. I mean, those guys have their fame wars and they have people lining up for them at all these fan events. It's just don't date these people. Please go get yourself a real man off of this show. Please, I beg of you. I like you. I beg to help you. I think it's time for me. I think Sierra, I feel like this may be her last season. She, I feel like we've watched her grow when she came on the show. She was so quiet. She was such an

introvert. And every year she sort of like gets, she just sort of gets more and more comfortable in her skin. It feels like or at least maybe more comfortable being on TV. And I think that every year she sort becomes more and more of a star. And now like she walks in and she's like, she's like, this woman is like a star. And I think that like she's going to be like moving onwards and upwards because it's time for her to now ascend to a new class of celebrity and not be hanging around the

West and the Jessie's of the world. Yeah, here's the hoping she's on the city. Whatever that shows call, they're not this. So now the party and also I just like, I don't, I don't know the Sierra crying at this point. I'm like, you know too much from being on the show for so long to cry about these boys right now. So I don't believe it as much as if it were someone like Bailey or one of the newer people who were like, oh my God, these gutters such douche bags. It's not that I

think she's faking it. It's just like, I don't. Yeah, just get out of there. Here's what I say about

of there. Here's an on the fly theory. Based off of what I just said, there also must be something that's kind of crushing to come into the house. And every year you're feeling more more like a star. I mean, Sierra Sierra is increasingly famous. She's just doing all these things. She was just at the Grammys last month. Like, she's getting access to increasingly interesting and cool opportunities. And to feel like your star is rising. And you've done all this personal work on yourself to be bigger

and better and to like step into like new chapters of your life. And then to find yourself getting caught up in the petty bullshit that you thought you were so behind the stuff that you thought you grew out of with Austin, et cetera, that like the old version of yourself and to realize, shit, I still have these things. I'm still drawn to these people or I still'm affected by these people.

Even though I thought I had like moved on and done all that work. Like, I think that's actually

got to be a driving force. I know I feel that way sometimes. There's so many times. I'm like,

I've been doing therapy for like six or seven years now.

self-assass person. I'm like, no, I'm not as much for shrinking bile. And then I get put in one social situation where I totally have a regression to how I was like 10 years ago. And I'm like,

I'll never change until the same person. I'm so mad at myself. You know, so like maybe there's

some of that in there, you know? Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I am a town's plausible. I just want her to stop worrying about this bullshit because it's annoying. These these people are not ready. So the party continues. Well, getting the anti van ready a little bit. Yeah. Well, she did drive it at the point. You know what I mean? Like, she could drive it and just kind of her whole attitude with Lexi last year and how she handled that whole thing. I thought was really good and really strong.

So to see her regressed for these two losers. I'm not regressed. But you know what I mean?

Crying to the crying over losers. It's just I can't, you know? I just can't with it. I'm like you're smarter than this. So yeah. Rhyme. So Ben flirts with Darra and I guess kind of in his in this way. You know how Ben does it? He's like, yeah, on the model. Anybody clapped it at the end of a at the workday? No, but I've gotten it at the end of a day. Is that where we're heading to? Jesus Christ, you're pretty, but you're dumb. And KJ sees it and he's like, Ben and the other

boys. I mean, they definitely just make it all look so simple. All this flirting. But me. I don't even know if I'm flirting. How do you do it? Okay, KJ. We've already got this. This like, I'm just a boy. I'm boy. It doesn't understand girls. What? I was raised by sisters. And like, what do I do? I'm just a male model who invent skateboard tricks. I'm so awkward. What do I do?

So luckily for him, he does even generally like the nicest guy. And I think we are all waiting for

the other shoot of fall because that's what happens on these shows. But like, he seems lovely, but it's

also, it's crazy. I don't know. He seems lovely, but he's also giving the full. What? I'm just a boy. And I don't even understand how to be a fuck boy. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It's just not in my nature. All I want is romance except for this summer when I'm going to try to. I mean, every clue is that he is just one of these guys. So he's if he is one of these guys, you know, just like a typical douchebag. He's playing it very well because I believe it mostly.

But I'm, yeah, me too. But like, you're right. That's all there on paper. You know, when people tell you who they are, don't have sex with them. So then West is hanging around and he's mad that people are throwing hair around. And then me, he gets on the mic. I could say, this is, I think this is really the moment where I was like, wow, she's really fitting in because Mia, a newbie gets on the

mic and gives the, hey, everyone, the party's done. Which prompts a man to often the corner to do,

you know, a pretty limp version of an already limp routine she has. Hey, I just even finished it. I'm out. It's just like, oh, it's listening to me. Um, so it's really awkward. I just like, nobody said it. And I had to say, there's so many others to say it. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two. Go look for the recap. It's his part two. Hmm. See you over there, suckers.

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