#3251 Ladies of London S4E02: Truth or Dara

Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one the only is he a madem or is he not? Ronnie Caram, how are you? Oh my gosh, I wish I had the business acumen to be a madem.

Yeah, that's hard, it's a lot of work, it's a lot of effort.

We are talking latest of London, the second episode that premiered at the end of last week.

Before we dive into that, only a few days left to watch the replay of the crappies. Thanks to everyone who went in like made little watch parties over the weekend, that was so cool. I saw some people gather around, there were some videos of people, some people got together on their sofas and watched together and we are really flattered and we really appreciate that you took the time to sit and gather and gather and watch the crappies.

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Also, our video is on Patreon, so all that great stuff is there. Come join us. Today we are doing Amazon Live and that's going to be at 130 West Coast time. That's new time, 130 and that means of course, 430 East Coast time. So that's all the exciting stuff unless I forgot anything.

I don't think I did and let's get on with it. Let's go to Part 2, basically of the two-part premiere ladies of London. I have to say Ronnie, first episode, I was like, I'm not really feeling Mark Francis. I felt like he was so over the top, he felt like more affected. But second episode, I was either the second episode or me having more time to get used to him.

I totally was on board, I'm on board with Mark Francis, no notes on the show anymore.

It's an amazing show, it's so good.

It's a really good show. I hope it keeps up, you know? I hope that doesn't fall on its face in episode 3, because all week I've been like,

“ladies of one, ladies of one day, mind it's on London, the town cryer, you know?”

Watch it please. But I felt like a lot of people on the internet, all week and long people were talking about it. Like it seems to be, it is the rage for the provost sphere. Everyone's talking about that in Southern hospitality, which really had two super strong premieres that last week, so I'm hoping the ratings actually match it or whatever metrics

that provost using these days to decide what shows are successful. Yeah, me too. Because it's good, so here we go, ladies of London season 4 episode 2. I wish they wouldn't call it at season 4, because it's really not the same thing.

I get that they're rebooting it, but the first ladies of London wasn't that popular.

And so, it's like why bring back a show that wasn't that pod. Just either give it a name or just call it ladies of London the new rain and just have it be season 1. Because I think it confuses people. If they see season 4 on Bravo, they're like, why can't watch it? I haven't watched the other three seasons, and then they watch the other three seasons.

And it's not like, "Well, mm-hmm, shows the time." Even though we loved, you know what I mean? But the thing is also the first we did. The first ladies of London was, I think, a little bit closer to a real housewives brand, but this one definitely has a different feeling to it, right?

It definitely feels like we're watching social lights going out and doing social light things. It's not as family oriented. We've barely spent really any time with their families.

“And I think that's really good, because you need to have some sort of”

separation between the brands, right? And so, I think the show just has so much attitude. And I love it. You know, as the gaze would say, this show is cut fitnessy. It's real, obviously.

I think it's like actually the most cut fitnessy that any, like, Bravo show of all time, like, already. I'm like, I don't think there's ever been a Bravo show that's been so cut fitnessy. Yeah, and I can't see how that would turn into a bad thing if it's someone that we really liked that they were going against.

But in this case, it's someone that does, you know, seems to deserve it from everything that we're seeing. So it was super fun. And they also do it in such a fun way, you know? Yeah, like the whole, oh, you think she'll be offended that I called her a madam? I didn't, I had no idea.

Like, yeah, that's a horrible, you cannot call somebody a madam. I just thought it was making them more interesting.

But anybody, would be upset that they're telling the whole world that they're a madam.

Like, yeah, an architect, it like it established or there. I don't know if I can get more interesting, darling. I know, yeah, the show has so come up in the sea. Maybe gallery girls is, gallery girls is probably still the number one of all time. But this one so far in two episodes.

I mean, they've just, the opening line. It starts with Mark saying, people often ask, "Can you challenge someone's an American?" But yes, the moment they open their mouths, I was like, "Right out of the gates." Cut through Micah. She's like, "Hello, London calling."

And a telephone. Or you've been before.

“So then Emma is, okay, we have to remind ourselves who all these people are, which ones Emma?”

Oh Emma, okay Emma, yeah Emma's like this one is Emma. I'm like the royalty, she's the one that lives in the castle.

Oh, yes, it's been turned into a story.

I'm has to bathe right now every day, but pretend, you know, like she's happy. So she's like, "When you go to America, when you go to a shop, they're like, "This is my name, this is what I do. We don't talk as much here." And then we cut to Margo and Marga's like, "Yeah, I'm an actor.

I give a guy a hand job one time in a movie. Yeah, I mean, my hands were sticky, but it really got me some popularity. I have kids now. You know, I love the smell of these candles. Do you like candles that smell?

I love candles that smell. I'm giving this candle a hand job. Ah, I'll ever get a word on my right. We are so chatty, it's crazy. We're at a control.

Emma's like, "And it's lovely, they're much friendlier than us, probably." I like when she says when it's, which is lovely, which is where we're saying, "Which is so unsophisticated and embarrassing for them." What was we call it? Lovely.

Yes, bless her heart. You know, it's like the southern, bless her heart. They're much friendlier than us, probably.

“Then we got a lotty, and she's like, "But I think my advice to any”

American, trying to make it in the London scene would just be a good luck. Maybe if you could find yourself a Johnny Depp in a skinny pan, to you'll get by, but until then, good luck." So then, Kimmy is having lunch with, and then the waiter comes up to words, like, "Which lack another drink?"

She says, "Well, I would have liked one 28 minutes ago." I think on the Ho, we rather like Americans, I think. I mean, on the Ho. She's like, "And I'm sure there's exceptions, and now that I think even harder about it, maybe not on the Ho.

Maybe on the half. On the half, we like them. On the quarter. Maybe down to one fifth. So now we go to Micah, who is the Manor's Lady, the American,

the American, trying to teach British people manners, which is hilarious. So we go to a business meeting at her house with Ari, her head of marketing. And they're going over her schedule, and the producers are like, "Okay, well, tell me how you got into doing etiquette."

She's like, "So I was in American living in London, and I was at this amazing dinner,

and everybody just knew they're cutlery so beautifully, and they were holding their ship." Pain flutes so effortlessly gliding around at dinner party, and I just felt so insecure. And then Marco and my husband, I mean, he grew up in Switzerland. And so, you know, this was second nature.

But he wasn't going to tell me I was right around, 'cause, you know, Switzerland. So, you know, he actually took the time and said, "Well, what ain't you learned something? So why don't you take an etiquette class?" And, you know, I know that's the last thing that the boy you're dating,

you want to say to you, "Wow, you're a pig. Take some etiquette class, but I did." And we got married. Yes. weren't that for me.

So then she's like, "Yeah, I actually trained underneath a former member of Queen of England's households staff, and he taught me Princess Diana. She taught Princess Diana's etiquette. Yeah, she did that. And my love etiquette came from confidence I got through it.

“And I just wanted to give it to other people, which I think is such a beautiful thing.”

I would love it if like the her etiquette teacher was just a full-on kind of. I was like, "Yeah, so yeah, that's right. Gov not. I taught Princess Diana's etiquette. You know, I can teach you, too." You taught my words to me. I claim them, I claim the Queen's household, all right?

That's right. But let's see if they can teach me a fishing trip today. If you feed me a fishing trip today, I'll pay you tomorrow. So, we'll see a video called "Try this trick to eat chips quietly." She goes, "Guys.

Chip, chip noise is rude." So, if you don't want to offend everybody around you eating a chip, put it in your mouth and then put your lips around a chip, and it makes the noise soft. It dampens the noise to the chip. Oh my God, but now you have chip shit all over your lips.

If you've ever wanted to see what it looks like to give a chip a blow job, watch this video. She literally blows the chip.

You know, I love that. Because the salt from this chip, I mean, your lips are going to disintegrate. Yeah, they're not going to have less of them anymore. That stuff is not to be touched. It just was the funniest image.

It was like, "Fish looks going up." She's like, "She can run." She's going to take her ten minutes eat that chip. She's like, "I'm she also didn't learn that from the Queen's assistant." That's simple.

She's just making shit up for content, you know?

“I'm like, "Oh my God, okay, what are we going to do today guys?”

What's something that's rude? What is something that's rude it means to be a trust?" Oh God, oh God, chip noise. It's chip noise. It's chip noise.

It's chip noise. I'm running a memo to the free-to-lake operation to reduce their chip noise. Yeah, I feel like no one in the palace and looking at palace is eating chips anyway. Oh, look at those types of chips. So now, um, yeah, so Marcus telling us, "You know, my husband in New York City in 2008,

and I just felt madly in love, and then boom, Marco gets a call that he's being sent back to London, and then I went. He said, "You weren't supposed to come with me. This was what we call a ghosting." And I said, "No, I'm going to follow you," and he said, "But I was sort of hoping you would

just stay back in New York." And I said, "No, I'm here," and so he said, "Okay, well, I guess we'll see how this works out."

So now he just flies away every week and he's gone every single week, and I never seen him.

So we're really happy. I just write him letter saying, "I figured out the chip noise pollution come back." He's trying to get away so badly. He's like, "Oh, sorry, I gotta move to Europe. I guess this is a deal breaker, so I guess our relationship is over."

Not necessarily, I'll come with you. Yeah, she's never here, but he wants to be. So, you know, I'm raising the kids. He wants to raise the kids, so he just can't. Because he's going to private equity.

It's very private, I can't talk about it. So private, I don't even have his phone number really, but I do write letters. I did send, I did try to tag him in the video about the chips, but he didn't give it a like, yeah, but I'm sure he'll see it soon. So the kids, Max and Valentina are there, and she's like, "Oh, yeah, I mean,

there's definitely times when I'm burnt. You know, at the end of the week, you're burnt out. You know, and all you want to do is melt to the ground. That would be so rude. Or just be a puddle of human on the ground.

Don't do that.

“If you want to melt into the ground, don't do it.”

Go into a walk-in, get yourself together. Nobody needs a human puddle on the ground. It's rude. Don't embarrass America.

Your husband will never call you."

I love that her daughter's name is Valentina, because it maintains the tradition of having a Valentina on the latest of London. You know, Valentina formally was Caroline Stamberry's assistant, so the spirit lives on.

Yeah. It's like there must always be a Valentina. And then I love it. Valentina also comes through the smoke. Bad news, Mom. We learned about shapes in school today.

Bad news, Bad news, Mom. Got to be in my simple fractions quiz. Bad news, Mom, we're not doing math anymore. Now we're doing Singapore math. What the fuck?

Bad news, Mom. Just learned about the history of this country. It's pretty dark, Mom. Oh, that's great. Long, long of loud chipping us.

We're going here. Mom, can I get this toy store today? I'm joking, my own saliva. I'm laughing so hard, I'm joking, my own saliva. I can barely let out of Valentina.

Oh, Valentina the assistant.

I will never forget that voice, Mom.

It's like Joel, whoa. Valentina, here's a Los Angeles. It's time for commercial. It's time for a grab in scommel show. On booking.com, boost your theory in house,

it's easy. If you're lucky, you're lucky. All right, I've got a villa for you. I'll leave you home. For us, there's no information about it.

Booking.com, booking.com, yeah. I'm fully blind. My time has passed since my days and nights are on the surface. Because I have a chance to stay overnight and stay overnight. I stay overnight 24.

A self-reliable sleep, the many beautiful people.

“Do you want to know more about this attraction in the villa with full of air?”

Over costs 3,000 and 0,800, 24, 24, 0,08. So, she's really tired, you guys. And they're face-timing Marco. And Max is an interested. Because he's probably got a band in his shoes or whatever.

And Mike is like, well, I rely on my friendships and London, because I don't really have a husband here.

I don't really, so, I get to talk to my friends.

Without my friends, I've just got this sock that I put on my hand. I'm Marco. I'm not a Johny, I wish I was with you. I wish you were with me, too, Marco. Oh, my god, why is my hand stumbling?

It's just my voice. It's still the sock talking, Marco. Oh, come on!

“Hey, sock, Marco, do you want to try eating a potato chip?”

Okay, look, my, so, my guy is like, yeah. So, you know, I don't have family physically with me in London. My friends are my family. My family. Well, my family actually said, um, we're not here right now.

Please leave a message on the machine, which is funny, because answering machines haven't been a thing for like 25 years. But that's what happens when I call. And, uh, I just have my friends. And it's really just Dara.

If I don't have Dara, then who do I have? Who am I? Without Dara. Oh, am I? Let's go to Dara.

This is Dara. She's at a restaurant called Ivy Asia. And she's getting ready for a dinner party and putting up name cards and stuff. And she's like, you know what?

I think that we should put the name on both sides of the card. I love that. I love when there's a name on the front and there's a name on the back and that's how Dara does it. On protection.

My dinner party is at Ivy Asia, because I want to treat everybody to something special with the Chinese culture to show them a little bit of my culture. Um, so I'm like these ladies can be too drunk to get any sort of appropriate lessons from any culture right now.

So, so then Dara sees a lot of, she facemes a lot of things. Like, oh my god, you look beautiful. She's like, oh, thank you. It's my pregnancy boobs plus just being

naturally British. I just have just a general beauty about me. Don't tie stupid Americans. That was a dissoned them a little bit. You want to take a dick at an American right now?

Oh, all right. Well, you've heard about Mark's garden party. Haven't you? I'm like, yeah, I mean, my calling filled me in a little bit. But like it sounded like an interesting conversation.

And the producer asks her, so what about this rumor that you're a mad I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then they just show her kind of staring off into the camera. That's my favorite thing they're doing with Dara. Like, everybody, even the people who are shooting her are like this lady is such

gold. Don't even say anything. Just keep the camera on her.

She never answers the question, by the way.

And she just kind of like stairs off into this. She just laughs and kind of stairs off into the distance. And what I'd love is that she obviously quits the show by the end of the episode. And they clearly don't have any interview footage of her. Like, they don't have any pickups.

It's like, clearly just have like the weird low quality cell phone interview. They did for the sizzle reel. So it's like this low quality interview in the middle of the show. Just Dara. And she's like, I mean, like, is it a big deal?

Like, no, I think that Mike has certainly more sensitive than I am.

“I mean, the truth is people will formulate more opinions about a public figure.”

And Mike doesn't have a public persona yet. So for her, it was probably a bigger deal than it was for me. I've been called much worse as what I'm saying. She is more upset that Mike knew about it first. She's like, well, he's just like, Mike is not really famous enough to understand that people

make stuff up about famous people. Poor Mike. Yeah, she's like, she's just so alarmed because she's just not famous enough to know what it's like to have, you know, crazy rumors made up about you. Well, I'm gonna be cleared up on Thursday.

I'm sure it's gonna be so fun. Now we go to the May Fair District and Emma's going to a tea house to meet Mark. And he sees her and he's like, oh, no good Lord, did you?

Woman not, I've never seen a woman as wonderful.

He basically gets up in the middle of the restaurant and goes running across the restaurant. So, and Emma's like, uh, Mark Van Daly is incredible. He has been my friend for ages now. We met in San Cherpiff for 10 years ago and he's the funniest person in the world. Wait, do you want to see me laughing at his jokes here we go?

Anyway, it's also so kind, he's amazing with children. He's my youngest son's godfather. He's wonderful. Emma and I are not friends. Emma is essentially my son, he's true, because whatever we are, wherever we are in the world,

well, somehow always connected and we're always thinking the same thing. So, uh, they sit down and everything and Mark's, oh look at us, we're both so fat.

“She's like, I always say I'm per second, he's champagne and that is basically what you need to know.”

So then, uh, she orders tea, everything. She's by the way, this woman is like very elegant and very beautiful.

life, she doesn't want, but she looks in a fucking zoo. A literal zoo, she's like, I thought I was getting a castle and then they told me we had to start a zoo in the backyard to keep the fuck in my tongue. Now I have parties and everyone smells done, okay? This is my life.

But she also does seem like she is someone who is in the aristocracy, I mean, she is. And like you can tell the difference, because she's just, she's just way more restrained, where it's like, Mark is like, oh, no, darling. And she's like, oh, no, hello that. So I enjoy her sort of like her quiet restrained.

I don't, I'm not gonna say disdain, because she does seem to really love Mark, but there's something about her that is like silently juggy, which is one of my favorite qualities. Yeah, I think part of her is like, why am I here? You know? Yeah.

Uh, so she's like, uh, she says, oh, so Kimmy comes in. And she's like, oh, I love darling. No, I don't know. I certainly hope you killed that animal that you're wearing yourself, Kimmy. Kimmy isn't icon.

I first met Kimmy when I was like 17 through my husband.

Kimmy, you're sullen, sullen is what we decide.

“That's how he's pronounced, sullen, and Kimmy is like, oh, I love sullen.”

I met sullen a hundred years ago, back in the decade and days, when we were still allowed to go to the Bay Country houses and break and teeth. You know that there's someone that was like, did they let that American back in? Who was breaking all the antiques? The first time I met her, she was like 17 and I went to her house.

So drunk, like, lapsed on the floor. Had your mother was like, are you alright? I don't do you think you can break it out? And I'm like, I don't know, so my mother had me my car keys and off I drove. So, have you been, I see, I see you were in can.

I love the pivot from, like, I was so drunk, I fell on the floor and her mother yelled at me. So how was can? Well, I was in can for like the longest kind of my life, doing simultaneous jobs overlapping. I got to be glamorous.

Oh, fantastic. Oh, curfrey, were you carefree? I was carefree, kind of, well, anyway. I need to know what I missed. Oh, God, did somebody step in poop of some kind.

I didn't know there was meat towards me. You don't understand. I was doing so much and can.

“I had to take a picture on top of a staircase.”

I had to take a picture in the middle of a different staircase. I took a picture at the bottom of a different staircase. So it was just a lot of staircase as I took four photos at, very tired. And I'll ask you a question. What happens if one needs a wheelchair and can?

They didn't have a single rhinoceros down there. So Emma is like, "Tell me about this party that this garden party." And so Kim is like, "Well, the funniest part about the whole fucking party." So Martha said, "Well, fresh. She's fresh." [coughing]

The dollar can be sold out. The don't show. That's what happens when you eat. Don't eat. Have any times to have to tell these ladies.

Eating causes choking.

This is one group I never wanted to show,

because none of them will give you home. They'll just sit in the bathroom. Oh, look, she's dying. Isn't this passatively hilarious? She's good to die.

Well, enjoy the last few moments while you succeed.

“They're going to have a martini in your honor.”

Have a good and great life. Congratulations. All right, P-fatty. That's what she got for eating. Am I right?

So Kim is like, "Oh, my God." Well, Margo came out and said, "The other day that there's dare a girl, thank you to whoever did that." [coughing] "Is it madam?"

[coughing] Oh, we're spilling tea, are we? Oh, I just love it. I'm mad at my tell you. Well, I don't know about this. It's got some sound good.

Oh, shut up, Hermite. Funny. [coughing] [coughing] Think about it.

A madam, first of all, it's a French saying,

which is hilarious on a show about British. But also, think about it. She knows prostitutes. If you really, she's an architect, she probably built her own brothel.

[coughing] It is funny. Probably less funny to a Marquis or whatever I am. And she's like, "Well, I'm not saying I don't gossip. Of course, who doesn't love gossip?"

And he, you know, it's just funny, I suppose. I mean, Kimmy says it is. But the less I know about this, the better, frankly. Suleon won't like it. [coughing]

So there's dare a person. Well, she there. Oh, no, no. She told me she had a best friend's wedding. And she said, "Oh, it's in Tuscany."

Well, I said, "Oh, that's great." You know, I just bought a house in Tuscany. "Where?" And she goes, "Well, I don't know. My assistant bucket."

And I said, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh." Oh, so she's rich, rich. [coughing] Yes, well, anyway, she's invited us to dinner. [coughing]

A lady who went to Tuscany, but doesn't know

when she's going to serve for dinner.

[coughing]

“Wait a second, Mark Frances, so you bought a house?”

Where did you buy a house? Oh, yes, it's in Florence. I bought the house because I thought, actually, it was a very good way to spend more time with my father. Unfortunately, he's slowly deteriorated, so let's have a moment

I'll be serious for about 10 seconds. [coughing] This is very this show. Where everybody, it's like they, they turn a switch and then everybody gets really dark.

I mean, has whole face gets, he has kind of a dark face anyway. And I mean emotionally, like his eyes get dark and see like little dark clouds swirling in his eyes. He's like, "Yes, I bought this house because... Actually, it was a good way for me to be close to my father.

Who's deteriorating rapidly?" [coughing] Anyway, anyway, it's fabulous. Tuscany, wonderful.

We've just got our first doll of God and did I tell you.

[coughing] Well, so you're the only child, sat. [coughing] Sat. Oh, he's like, "Yes, I am the only child."

God, you tell him all the back. Back to fun times. My relation to dark moment, dark moment, thank you. My relationship with my father, growing up was very simple, really. I would fly at him, go to Italy every weekend and then fly back on a Sunday night.

It was just a constant series of goodbyes. All right, nice back. Lies back up. We've got that one right print. Print that one. Sir.

It was also a constant series of alos. Okay?

I'm like, "But it's smile on your face, be American."

So, Kimmy is like, "Well, if you need help with anything, just ask Dara, she probably knows you'd help." [coughing] Should at least find someone for you to snog. My father, I'm still having a dark moment.

My father would, I haven't really spent very much time together in the past 30 years. Too much solitude, too much pain, too little understanding, too little connection, really.

“Am I doing lyrics that sound like they're from the 90s, perhaps?”

But that's okay. I don't want to be too late. Doesn't sound like, sounds like they're Kathy Dennis' song. Too many walls have come up between us. Move, father.

Dark editor, but her father. Here I am dancing on my own. So, Kimmy is like, "But if there's anything you need, if you need just a bowl of cockles, I can make that for you as my children's favorites."

"Well, I need so much." [coughing] "Dark moment over." "Dark moment over." "Well, she's already got a nurse's uniform and a cupboard."

"Oh, vintage, I'm sure." "It's like, except it's late tax." "And then Kimmy takes an applicant, but's it in her hair?" "And she's like, "Look, it's like when your nurse has had." "And they're like, "Oh, could I come in? I'm so treatable."

"Look, I refuse such a generous all-fall. I couldn't. I couldn't." "It's a doctor, darling, the madam." "She represents me." "So now we've got to a foot." "He just Kimmy's insurance over this Madam story.

A lot is hilarious." "So now we've got to a photo shoot." "And Lottie's doing her pregnancy photo shoot, but she doesn't look pregnant." "So, they're going to do it anyway."

"She's 17 weeks pregnant, and you can't even tell." "But she's like, "I'll just put my hand on my stomach." "Does that work?" "And then her husband who looks like a Gothamist or peanut is there, of course." "You're going to dress you up."

"Just so I met at the box, which is an infamous nightclub in Seoho. And the man walked in with his fador and his mustache and behind them was a family of women with lots

“of lip liners. I think Lexi would in her mom and dad and her sister."”

"Hi!" "And I thought, "My God, is it Johnny Dipp? Is it the year 2001 when Johnny Dipp was someone that we lusted after?" "Because it's dark in here, you know, and he does have that look and I thought, "Wow, I'm about to be super famous with Johnny Dipp.

Turns out it wasn't Johnny Dipp. Just some sort of play, mason, stick figure person, and I thought, "Sure, why not?" "It wasn't Johnny Dipp, but it was something more infamous. Anemia." "So we got married immediately."

"You know, it was two hours later someone found a snocking downstairs at the box. By the way, I'm just going to keep saying the box, because it's very popular on Broadway lately. The box, the box, the box, the box, the box, the box, the box. We are hearing a lot about the box. Is it a change?" "Yes. I guess I wonder if I started in London and then went to New York.

Probably then." "Well, the rest is history. We got engaged after eight weeks of dating. We were married within the year. And this year, we'll be three years married and we've got a baby on the way." "So we see, this is Baby Kane. I'm on the screen as she holds her stomach.

And the sky really is like, "I can't wait for this baby to come out.

"He looks happy this guy."

"The first ever sonogram that has a handlebar mustache."

“So she says, "I think it's just the obvious thing for people to assume."”

"Oh, he's a man that works in fashion, so he's gay." "Oh, he's a man who dresses well, so he's gay." "Oh, he's a man who has sex with other men, so he's gay." "But you know, honestly, I find as an envoyance really attractive. We do our nails together like we do our makeup. It's so fun."

And honestly, it's like a proper partnership. It's not just your boy or your girl. It's like, "We are one." "I've married me. I've very sickly me, but I'm all the same." "For those three kids, is this the new Alex and Simon?"

"Is this the second coming of them?"

"The strange sort of code-dependent and wacky couple, but we sort of like them?" "I'm totally into them." "I think that that's a good comparison." "Yeah, I really like this couple."

“"And I like that they're so weird, and they're like, "Let's just do each other's makeup."”

"Who gives a fuck?" "I kind of love it too. I love it too. I love it too." "I love it too." "It's an odd duck." "I have to be trying to follow him and see what he's doing, because she's, you know, she's not." So it's only episode two, but so far she's not that interesting, but he is. "Follow him around."

"I mean, I will say he is a tailor to the stars, and his suits are tailored within, oh yeah, a meter of his body. Like they are, they've got him like a glove. I was like, this guy is talented." "Yeah, I mean, I guess." "Yeah, he looks great." "He does look like a Victorian cartoon, but he is. That was it." "Well, he has nothing to do with another."

"I mean, he looks like consumption, but yeah, he's very talented." "So then we go to Martha's Grottage, the Grottage." "Oh, and she's inside talking about, okay, so Martha, my favorite one, this little shack that she

“lives in with all the paint falling off and all the stains and bird shit coming down the walls."”

And she's like, "Oh, God, have we shi I could run the Hoover, but it's just too late now, isn't it?" And her content is flying around and Ernie, we find out that she's got other pets sleeping in his bed, and so she has this 10 of biscuits cookies, you know, so she's opening the 10, and the producer's like, "Okay, talk to me about the British biscuit tin. What exactly is that?" She's like, "Well, I live with

rats, I've got to keep them out of the biscuit somehow, don't I?" So then her friend Mimi shows up, Mimi's like, "Oh, and Martha's like, "Tell Mimi's an interior desire, and I very good friend of mine, she comes to help me with the Grottage. I am prone to painting

everything pink and uncovering it in cherubs and gild. I'm basically gay, arid man, trapped in a white

straight woman's body. This is good to have Mimi keep me on the right side of a kitchen." It was like, first of all, I also did not expect her like her instinct to be pink with cherubs. Like that's shocking to me. I thought she was going to say, "I like to paint a black or something, but she just wants to make this like garage or cocoa mess." And so they sit down and she's like, "I love the Grottage. I mean, what I do love is the wallpaper peeling off and the damp patches."

The number of times she just says, "There's damp patches and you see like full on like mold and like peeling falling down." It's just a damp patch, don't worry. This apartment is basically like three-week-old cheese. I mean, it is just mold. It is disgusting looking. And she's like, "Oh, you know, it's a bit of wallpaper coming off." It's not the wallpaper. It's the wall. The wall is coming off of the wall.

Okay, she's like, "Everything's covered in magbar crap." You could clean that though, you know. Like, that's something you can do. Like, maybe you should do it. I mean, it's dripping down all the walls and she's like, "Well, I did find a painter." I mean, you say, "Oh, I'm so looking forward to this renovation and rebirth."

Yeah. Sometimes birth is best done through fire. Oh, darling, you're such an angel to help me because I'm just sort of, I feel a bit drowning at the moment, which I love that. I feel a bit drowning. Not that I don't feel, I don't feel like I'm drowning. I just feel drowning. I feel the sensation of drowning. I feel a bit drowning at the moment.

It's been a bit of life, it's been a bit of life, it's been a bit of life, it's been a bit of life, it's just doing the hard-blank and smile. Yeah. And her hair is perfectly curly tightened, you know, those tight curls coming down. It's like, "No matter what's going on, I wouldn't get my curls in." So she tells us her story. She's like, "five years ago, I had a really tough breakup." It was really a death of the ego, "Get dark, get dark, talk, moment, talk, moment."

And then I was just keeping my head above the waves with all the grief, you know. And I went and ran outside my house, started making strangling noises when I was walking my dogs at night. And I had to move, I had to move for my mental safety. What? And what am I making strangling noises at you at night?

Like, duh. Where are you? You're pulling out, boy.

“I was like, "Are you sure you're just not living in Los Angeles?"”

So she... This is crazy. Yeah, I mean, all jokes aside. My God, skits a frenic man who defends lawyer called a bit odd, is cleared of stalking model and face of royal ascott, Lady Martha Stittwell, sit well. So I'm not laughing, I'm not laughing at the such... This is scary. Like, whenever you hear stories about stalkers, it is really terrifying. I just am laughing at the fact that, like, it's again so British

from our American perspective, that the lawyer characterized the stalker as a bit odd. A bit odd. Yeah, someone who's a bit odd outside. I'm sure we can have to make some sort of

injunctions about the man who's just slightly odd. The stalker was a bit odd, but

in his defense, he did eat his potato chips quietly. That was a pleasure. Turns out it was just, like, uh, wearing a hat. Yeah, choking on the chip, that's just very quietly. Like, oh, look, it's making sure. This person's making strangling faces, I must move. It's like, "Oh, I just need some hype, like, please, well, any of you British people do hype, like, aren't me?" They're unfortunately, we just laugh. I'm sorry, I would, but

I'm calm free, and you've got chips on the vialip. You can't do that. So they are looking at this apartment, and it is, it is really rundown. And Hakate is, she goes, "Oh, there's this, like, little net hanging above a door, like, a flat basketball net." And she's like, "What's that?"

"Cause did you add that in there?" And she goes, "No, no, no, that came with it." But, you know,

“"Oh, God, look at that. Hakate has stolen my measuring spoon." That's what they was saying.”

"Well, I'll just leave this up there. I'll just leave this up there. I'll just leave this up there. At least I know where they are now." "No, no, no." "I want the bird to take the measuring spoon, but it's a little net above the door." So what kind of apartment comes with that net? So I couldn't know that was already here. "What? What do you mean that was already here? Where are you living?" And by the way, it says in that headline that Lady Martha said,

well, was the face of the Royal Ask out, which is another big, like, one of their big races, I believe. It's just like crazy. I think the face of this, like, esteemed event that happens in England is, like, living in this, in this decrepit of cottage with, quote, unquote, damp spots and, like, a mag pie that's stealing measuring spoons above the doorway. So, Martha's like, "Well, my last real home before the garage was very beautiful. Lovely airy, light flat in South Kensington. Also covered with

“bed should you just could not even imagine?" "Well, it's so beautiful, I miss it." "Sat." "The sport designers."”

"That's a sad talk moment, but a little more." "Overlight's coming back to life." "Well, I'm happy now, I'm happy now." "She's got a lot of work cut out for it because she goes, well, we'll remove that net, right? I mean, we're not going to keep that. She's no, no, no, no, we should keep that. I love that. What are you talking about? And I can't stop obsessing over the net. It looks like a basketball net, but with no hole in it. And it's like, "Do you British people just

love the pain?" It's like, "Oh, Americans, go ahead, try and throw a bowl in there." Boom, yeah, didn't get a basket. Loser American. It looks like one of those nets they put out, like, um, like, under a ferris wheel, so that or, like, a rollercoaster. So, when your shit falls out of your pockets, it just catches it. Or when someone's doing stunts off a high building and they have, like, a thing to catch you. Yeah. And then they have to put a, like, a stadium. You know,

they have to put the nets in front of the railings now because people will lean over to catch a baseball and they'll fall off. So they have to put a net there to catch the people. Yeah. So Martha says, "Well, budget wise, at the moment, I can only afford to do the sitting room. I have, that's all right. My budget, I mean, uh, I've got a cracker. I've got a, uh, would you like a biscuit out of a tin? That's my budget." The rats haven't gotten yet. And, um,

Mimi's like, "Okay, well, two-and-a-half grand. Well, we can do that. But when I left my husband, I really wanted to behave unriably in our divorce, but it was difficult to get legal representation. And he had a big, really, he had a big, really good representation. So by the time we got to court, there was apparently no money to be found. So what I got from divorce was my title and not a lot of divorce. Talk moment. But I really want to build my life because of every turn I've thrown away my

life to go look after these rich men. And they're not looking after me. You know, old Martha would have just picked up, been picked up by another night in shining armor, but new Martha doesn't want a night in shining armor. I really want to do this for myself and it's harder,

but I'm also concerned for new Martha." Yeah, and Mimi's like, "Oh,

“would it only good would come from here?" Trust that. But the look in her face is like,”

"You're poor thing." And Martha's like, "Well, I live with the magpie. I deal with enough shit." Don't show her your eyes. Don't show her your eyes. Chill Express. With Sun Express, Günstig in the Bon Appliegen, Türkeye, from up 59-09-90, yet Buchen auf Sun Express.com.

So, Missie goes to a new house and she is meeting up with her therapist and he's like, "So, how are you doing? I've got a man bun." She's like, "I'm okay. I am such an anxious person. You know that, like, I've done three meditations last night and then I was still feeling like anxious." He's like, "Oh, yes. You've got some real stressful stuff being absolutely beautiful. Yes,

“thank you." I started therapy because I was living in survival mode. My relationship was failing.”

I have two kids with two different men and I need to understand why I was always in this black hole.

You know, I was always kind of labeled, "Oh, she's hard. Oh, she's a wad. Oh, she's a hot wad. Oh, she's a wad. That's hot." You know, labels like that. But deep down, I was super insecure because I always had to be like, "Hi, maintenance image of, like, oh, I've got my shit together because I'm a hot wad." You know, now it's so very difficult. My first relationship was making me happy, gave me everything, the house, the dream life. But that was bored. And then I met a fun guy and he was the

most toxic person I've ever met in my life. God, he was hot. He would be little me. He would say, "Why do you want to do that? What do you a wad?" "Why are you doing that? You stupid wad." "Oh, I made wags seem like a bad name." He said, "Why are you going to that event?" "Wag." He started dreaming, my soul. And then we see a headline that says, "Missie Becarey's secretly splits from fiance Jake

Hall after five years following explosive rouse and her brother's murder. But exes are trying to make things normal for her daughter. Wait, so I guess her brother was murdered. I'm sure we'll get

into that later this season. So she's like, three years ago, I would never think I would get here.

I did, it is someone you loved, but he did put me in a lot of stress because he'd be like, "See, it's because the way you dressed, you're making men look at you because of the way you're dressed." And I was drained by him. Like, my whole soul was sucked out of me. And when you go through toxic relationship, you fall into victim mode. And it's horrible because you don't want it. You're like, "I'm hot. I'm a wag." And you normalize it. And you're like, "Now,

how have I put myself this low?" But you can't see a way out. But it affected my current text. Because my dad was a little bit like that. And it was almost like I was accepting it. Because I thought, "Maybe this is how it should be." My god, everything's so dark. I mean, this shows like so fun, but then all their back stories are like, "Oh,

“geez." And her therapist, whose name is Rue, was like, "Um, so what is it?”

And where is it that you actually want to take things?" Let's talk about that. It's like,

"I want to be proud. I want to be authentic." You know, I've always suppressed that. And,

you know, it made me insecure. But I'm doing work on myself. And I want to be more secure. And he's a confidence comes and layers. And the more you upset people, because she's saying, you know, "I want to have a voice." And feel like people aren't going to judge me. So I'm going to tell everybody about gossip that I heard it to dinner. Do you think that that's something I should do? It's like, "Well, the people get mad, the people get mad, because you're just

being authentic." Yeah. Fun fact, Missy was on real housewives of Cheshire, starting season three, by the way. So she has some real housewives, pedigree. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah, yeah, it's very exciting. So now we go to Holland Park, no relationship to Holland Taylor. And Margo is there with her daughter, Della, and her nanny, Yenira. And Margo's like, "You know, it's like I'm a completely different person coming back to London this time. I don't drink any more." And she basically is like,

"I got sober because Martha said, "Well, broke me." And Martha's like, "We cut the Martha going, "Oh, it's not funny, but why am I laughing?" So Margo tells us that she was living in L.A.

to a visa for a week with Martha at her boyfriend. And then then they went to go, uh,

crowd shooting in Scotland. And she's like, "I was so full of alcohol. I was crying straight vodka." And I was on the flight home and I just thought, "I can't do this anymore." She'd

“literally broke me. I mean, she took me in crowd shooting. What the fuck is crowd shooting anyway?”

So Martha comes to the park and she has a little gift for the, for the kid. She's like, "Oh, this is a little doggy shaped out of bird poopoo." Very, very fun. And it's a toy. It's a little net. And of course, you want to put it down. Oh, there's a measuring spoon. Here's a measuring spoon for you. She's like, "Uh." It's super salty to see Margo and some other, Yenira Margo was literally the life and soul of London for a long time. And then like me, you know, she had some peaks and some

troughs. Talk, Martha. Hard blink. Well, be again, Marina Park. Uh-huh. I'm just so happy to see her coming back in her peak. So proud of her. Oh, little dela isn't it so fun to be here in the park.

You know, it is the first time I've seen your mother when she was an absolutely shit-faced,

aiming a gun at our garden instead of a grass. Those rainy days weren't there, Margo. So the house is gunting going Margo. She's like, "Well, how's that I really want?" It was an architectural idea. As can you imagine? It's really like a vibe, like an architectural vibe, that I just kind of vibe. It's totally not in our budget of course, but, oh, make it work. Right? I'm 50,000 a month.

“I mean, that's what I actually have. It's about that. How's it for you? It's like, "Oh,”

well, I've had the pay-less shoe-sourced box that I'm living in, covered in birch." About to be painted, so that's good. You know, I met a sweet guy in the park who said he's a painter and a decorator, so he's accompanied it for me. Of course, I had to give him 300 quid in cash yesterday, which felt a bit strange. He was also not really clothed, and he kept on talking to a tree and saying, "It is my honor, Mum, so I don't really know what that was about." He also kept making

strangling noises as we talked about pink colour. Mark was like, "Well, that's normal, you know, they have to buy your paint, so you need money." "Oh, no, no, it wasn't for paint. It was for other stuff." Mark was like, "Okay, well, that feels a bit crazy for me. Just no, dear." Mark was like, "Why are she wiring money to someone before they work?" She has serious life experience that told her, "You cannot trust strangers."

"I'm just terribly gullible. I just believe everything everyone tells me all the time, for instance, Magpie's make a great pet." That was a good one that I felt full. So now it's the day of Dara's party, and everyone's getting ready, and Emma FaceTime's Mark, and he's like, "Oh, look at you. I love your crot and face lived." And that means a tightly pulled ponytail hairstyle, often associated with lower social classes.

I mean, we meet it. Mark and Missy are in a car, and she's like, "How are you feeling about tonight? Have you ever advanced the painter $300 in the park? Just taking a quick survey?" And she's like, "Well, I have to say something, you know. I call it my therapist to be honest on the way." And she's like, "Oh, really what did they say?" He was like, "Breathing, breathe out. You've got this." Like, "Did you just call your therapist or did you just go to the hallmark

door and read a card?" He was like, "Yeah. Who's that, Queens?" He said, "Hang in there. It was a cat. It was a cat, hanging off a rope." So we go to Ivy Asia, and Dara arrives, and she gets the slow-motion music. And everyone comes in and says, "Hi, and stuff." And Missy is like, "I feel a bit unsettled." You know, I need to say something.

“I just hope Dara apologizes, and you don't move on, because for those of you who don't remember,”

now I was talking to Dara on the phone, and she's just her friend, Waika. And my therapist told me, "Now is the time to be authentic." So I'm going to let it out to this lunch, and prove I'm a healed woman, have to be a scorned wag. Yeah, because I'm sure it will come up again

in the recap, but a key thing is that Maika brought Dara pink walkie talkies as like a cute friendship

thing, and then Dara later told my Missy that she thought it was cringe, and she doesn't like walkie talkies. So you know, which I love that this is like the crux of a big fight. That's going to cause someone to quit the show. It's like, "Well, she's like, she is also just shit talking or saying like, "Oh, she's so awkward, and she's so gross, and she's so embarrassing, and stuff like that." So Maika is there. Maika, the etiquette lady, and she's like, "Oh, my God,

I'm so nervous for Dara, because she's seeing all these people that were spreading rumors about her, and they're at her dinner party. Oh, God." So I tried to warn her. I was like, "Okay,

spreading rumors, but she wouldn't answer. It was really unfortunate."

“A Martha is asking Dara's other friends how they know her, and one of the girls is like, "How do I”

know her?" Well, I'm a fan, I'm a fan, because she has an Instagram, and I have an Instagram, and so she reached out and was like, "Oh, I like your Instagram, and then we became friends." And the other lady is like, "Oh, yeah, we know her from Instagram." And so Martha just Martha just looked, and one of the other friends goes, "Oh, yeah, one of the reasons I just love Dara, she just pulls people together." You know, and then she puts people together, you know,

especially the ladies. She loves beautiful intelligent, you know, smart ladies, and then she puts people to have business together, and Martha's like, "Um, yeah, I'm still not convinced that she's not a matter." I mean, one of these friends is saying she's a connector. The other when she found online, I mean, that's a manager there. Just admit it, you know, listen, I can use some money. Hmm. So Dara's just talking with Margot. She's like, "So you live in LA, right?" She's like, "Yeah,

I have a place in Malbo, and then I'm working here." She's like, "Oh, amazing. Yeah, I lived here for

20 years. All my old friends are here. All my contacts are here. Yeah, we both know Nicholas. Oh, no way! Yeah, he told me about you. No way! Yeah, I swear, because I'm, I introduce him to the milk and institute. Oh my God! And I got him to speak in LA, and I'm like, "Oh, it's helping you to connect. I just love connecting people." So this is like a, it's just basically cocktail party powder, but then Margot's like, "This girl has doctor, doctor, and diplomacy." She has blown me away with kindness.

Immediately with the people that we share in common, I mean, you would have to have those skills to be a madem. It's like a requisite. This is like literally just like, "Hey, we have a mutual friend. Oh, my God, that's so funny. Yeah, isn't he great?" Wow, listen to that madem go.

It's getting your web. That's true. This one was a, this one was a stretch, but the first one with

the friends was crazy. I was like, "Wow, could you hire people to make this sound any more suspect?" Yeah, you know, she just likes collecting beautiful women and then setting them up with business ventures. Like, "What? The fuck is that?" You know, when I recently got a really good deal on a kitchen aid, and if you guys want, you can check it out. It's on Amazon. It's like $200 off. Wow. Only a madem knows about kitchen aid deals. Mm. Yeah, everything's like a smoking gun to them.

“And Kimmy and Mark come in next and you can tell. Could you just hear?”

Oh, my God. And Martha has on cigarette heel shoes, which are really funny. And Kimmy's like, "Oh, my God, I'm desperate for a glass of champagne." Oh, my God. Oh, he must be Darah. Oh, God. I'm so disappointed in this girl. Oh, God. Oh, get Heidi Flieson here. Am I right? No, where's a real madem? This is this one. What a terrible madem. Okay, here's the new gossip. We know a madem, and she's tacky and terrible. Cookin' me classy madem any day.

I mean, this is a madem, more like madem president, as in Tael Leonion, a CBS procedural. Boom, ring. Okay. So then, uh, so then I should say, everyone, that's called madem secretary. I totally got my CBS show as wrong. And I apologize to the listeners. So Darah is like, Did you mean the Gina, Gina Davis show? Does Gina, does Gina Davis show a madem president?

“I don't know, but she was a president. She was a, I remember that. That was probably called like”

Lady president. Well, yeah, she's like, guys, I'm Gina Davis. And let me tell you what I stand against. Terrorism. They're like, oh, my God. She's best best president. We've ever had. Yeah, I'm honestly, I would fully vote for Gina Davis to be president at this point at this point. Oh my God. Yeah. Like you dealt with Luke Bessol, I'll trust you. Yeah, I'm down. I'm down with that. I don't remember the name of her show, but I do remember that it was

her being a president somewhere. But anyway, um, so they're all like chatting around and everything and they're settling in and Darah is like, you're sitting here, you're sitting there, whatever. I missy gets to sit right next to Darah. So missy's like, oh, great. She's like, really upset about it. So Darah is like, okay, everyone, I just want to say thank you all for coming. I wanted to bring us together because, you know what they say, time is money, time is money,

right? You, if you're out that, you know, when you're out there in these streets, you know, you're, you're earning your money, am I right, everyone? Yeah, well, I just wanted to say thank you for coming. Yeah, um, we're all entrepreneurs and we've all made something from nothing. You know,

I just want you all to remember that. And Mark and Mark and Mark are just laughing and giving you

“to other looks. And uh, Mark who goes, who is she talking to? I mean, has she looked around the”

table? Oh, these are not self-made people. And then it cuts to Mark and it says at the bottom, Russian mother, Russian princess, father, Italian businessman, Ladi, daughter of a tech investor, Kimmy, father was a shipping entrepreneur, Martha, father was a famous entrepreneur and then it cuts back to Darah and she's like, you know, we all have something that we can share with each other, and now each other and goes, we're all self-made. You know, we're all here to help each other and

Kimmy and Mark are just cracking up and Mark shaking his head now. And he goes, whoo, well,

congratulations to me for being a self-made woman. My gosh, this isn't that formidable. I'd never

knew. Kimmy's like, I don't really know what Darah is talking about. She says everyone has an entrepreneurial spirit. My entrepreneur is zero. And this is where we have a huge departure from the real housewives at American and Cas because on the real housewives, you have all these people who have like, you know, men's privilege and they're like, I'm self-made. I did this all myself. Like, I'm this is, I'm basically it's like Bethany when she's like, I'm homeless. I'm

homeless right now. I'm living on the streets. You know, and these people are like, oh, no, we don't work. We never have worked. We don't want to do that. No, we're not seeing self-made, or only trash makes itself. We're privileged that we have no idea what the real world is like.

I didn't love it that way. Yeah. And the waitress comes and Marcus, like, oh, thank God,

a self-made woman. So Margo's asking where Emma was. She's like, oh, I think Kensington Palace. She's like, oh, that's nice. What were you doing there? It's like fragrance launch. Like, oh, you're fragrance? No, we're not, we're not entrepreneurs like that. It was someone else's. Some poor person's fragrance. They were trying to get this darling. I wasn't making a fragrance. Although I did buy about 19 gallons of it because I do live in a literal zoo with some captain on

some boat with some sort of sendlewood fragrance. I don't know. The poet laureate was there. It's a whole thing. But I made excuses to come here. Everyone, that's right. I left an event with the poet laureate. So we could come here and accuse someone of being a madam. So soon we start that by the way. So Derek doesn't have a drink. And so Kimmy grabs her glass and dumps

“some of her drink into it. She's like, you have to have a drink. So you can tell. She can't”

taste without a drink. I mean, what kind of alcohol like are you? That's Kimmy's favorite. Maybe this is a poor wine from one glass to another. So Missy tells us, the old Missy would have definitely just kept her mouth shut, but I've closed a chapter because he guessed what I did. I breathe in. I breathe out just like therapy told me. And now I breathe out old Missy breathe in new Missy because that chapter was full of lies of cheats. And in my life, I made

promise to move forward. I don't want to do that. I like don't stand there and celebrate women, Dara, and then totally trash away behind closed doors. That's not cool. Here comes new Missy, Babu. So we've just had this like, welcome everybody. A glad we can all be lady friends lifting each other up speech. The Missy comes in after like a moment of quiet. And she goes, well, I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you for inviting me. I do feel that you put me in a

really shitty position though, because like when we were talking about your friend,

“Micah, and you said, oh, she's a bit cringe. You remember that? Yeah, she said she's embarrassing.”

She's kind of low class. She's tacky and she's faking her lifestyle. And everybody just looks super uncomfortable. And Micah's like, hmm, God, I'm leaving the chip. So I'm leaving the chip. Wow. Yes. Well, you said she's showing up with walkie talkies. Well, I wouldn't want my friend talking about me like that. And Sarah just like takes a moment. And then she sort of was like, Micah's my sister. I absolutely loved the walkie talkies. This sound they made as I threw them

in the trash was so beautiful. There is no way I would never walkie doggy with my best friend.

I think it's great. And I don't think this conversation is necessary. And Micah, I love you. You know I do. I mean, I'm what established themed architect who's a professional working woman wouldn't love some pink walkie talkies to chat with her bestie about in the middle of the workday when jazz meetings and obligations. I love it. And Micah's rolling his eyes openly. And they're all staring at Micah because this is the first fight of the show. You know,

so they're like, Oh, Micah's the nicest one is the one forced into a house he can deal with it. And Martha's like, Oh, my God. I felt like my ass crack has started sweating just so uncomfortable.

what can I do if she's not going to admit it? Yeah, we're going to have some nice food.

So Miss Ian Lardi got the bathroom together and Lardi's like, Well, that was stressful. I know that was crazy. No, just being around all those Americans. Oh, what were you

“getting to save a stressful? Well, like, what the fuck are she doing? Why is she saying that?”

She said like, Oh, no. Like that. She's making me look crazy now. She's like, Oh, babe. I know. I know. So I wasn't really listening to be honest. I was just making sure that my outfit looked good. But say whatever you're going to say. They lost me. It's self-made. Well, Deros making me look like I'm trying to ruin a friendship and I'm lying. Oh, she's crazy. She's crazy woman. Well, it does Michael know about this. Well, she's looking at me like she sent

to something like she's anxious of she's been controlled by her. She's been controlled. Surely surely she's been controlled. So back at the table, Margo's like, "Are you okay, Michael Darling?" She's like, "Um, well, I'm fine." And we just still, still here, Missy. And she's like, How can you be so scared? It's not to have a voice.

Michael tells us, I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I'm like, you just made a

video about blowing a potato chip. But that's fine. I'm just going to say, I'm used to eat potato chips without your lips around it. You used to make you happy and embarrassing. You used to just eat the Doritos and let the crunches peel through the audience. So she goes, "I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I need to cry or just go into a fetal position." I'm like, "You can do both by the way. I just want to let you know." She goes, "I do believe Missy." And the word cranges one that Dara uses regularly,

and it's an American word, and I'm just, I just don't understand. I love that she's like, yeah, Dara says cringe so much. Like, she says cringe all the time. Like, she's like says things like, "You are so cringe, or can you please not give me those walkie-talkies in public? It's so cringe, or wow, this is my cringe friend, Micah." So I'm pretty sure that those words did come out of her mouth. Yeah. So she gets up and excuses herself from the table. And now Emma jumps in. She's like,

"What is going on? Can somebody please explain?" I just got in here. I just met the poet laureate. So can we just explain it? Can we be like, "Well, Emma walks into the irgerate,

“irgerate confidence." What a way to walk in. Am I right, guys?”

I'm just kidding. It's a watch. So Micah goes up to Dara, and she's like, "Hey, when you're done with this course, can we step out?" I love that her etiquette extends to even when she's like trying to have a confrontation, like, I want to have a confrontation with you, but I want to be able to finish her. Yeah, I have a confrontation. No babe, no. I love you, and we need to talk. It's just not right now. It's just not now. No. Okay. Yeah. I love it. It's like, no, no. It's just like, no. We're not going

to talk. I mean, actually. Okay. I was going to say, I feel like in terms of etiquette, that was her. That was actually very polite. I've heard it. We can have a talk, but just not right now. Now, it was not the time replace, which feels like that's etiquette right there. Oh, my gosh. Micah's like, I'm an absolute disbelief. I mean, we've met each other for 24 years, and I protected her. And this is what I get. I mean, I don't even recognize my best friend.

So, Darra goes into the kitchen. She's like, I need to check on the film, and now everybody's asking if Missy's okay, which is hilarious. And they're like, Oh, come sit in the naughty corner with us, Missy. You just got to better see to this table. You just earned your spot at the bad girls club. Congratulations. So she goes over there. And meanwhile, in the kitchen, I want to get to the kitchen so bad, but it's not yet. So lie is talking to me to Micah. And

like, in the kitchen, she goes there and didn't want to talk to you. I mean, she's not going to. I'm really disappointed for Micah that her so-called best friend of 20 years doesn't give her that time. Just kidding. I don't really care. Two Americans having a fight, like, who cares? So then Missy's like, I just feel like I got really brave. And like, that was my moment. I'm like, okay, Missy, you need to relax there. It's like nice. You had it, but she's like going on and on

and on about this. And she's like, Ah, that was my moment. I was so brave in that moment. Wasn't

“I so brave? Oh, yes. I think we should focus on what matters. No, not that we're ever superficial.”

He literally says that. He's looking like, I don't want to talk about your journey. Let's just talk about how much you are. But I came with a confidence to have a scene on TV and they stole it from me. He's like, Oh, please, you're a model. Let's just discuss looking good. All right.

Not that we're superficial. No, no, not at all. Oh, you do look amazing though, darling. And that

is half the battle in my right. Sensational. I knew something was going to come up because there's no way that everybody I've spoken to. I think she's an awful person. And she's just this nice.

um, yeah, I don't think I mean for this name. I'm not mean for it. This is just not me. Like,

“I love my God, but she just doesn't like have my experience of being thrown under a bus.”

I mean, I did say those things because I just filmed. And she's just like to stupidly get it because she's not famous. Yeah, she's like, I'm not proud of that. I like how she's simultaneously she says, I'm just not cut out for this because, you know, Micah just doesn't have the experience of being thrown under the bus. Like, you're the one who got thrown under the bus and are quitting. And you're saying poor Micah, she just doesn't have a handle these things. You're the one quitting.

Why did you put Dara? I did it. You just stay on the show. So if you were the one who threw her under the bus, she's so funny. She's like, Oh my God, she's just upset because she's not famous enough to get it. And I just, I'm sorry, but I can't shoot with people like that. And I did say those things, but only because I just filmed. So then Marcus, like, all I can sit back at the table, all I can

say is you never dis someone who has walkie talkies because it means that both is big. I mean,

right, that means that the home is huge. It's decidedly sizable. Ask Emma. Everyone in the house has walkie talkies, even the rhinoceros is like, Psh, but not on me now. Am I right? So Mrs. like, what kind of your walkie talkies? And she's just black and Marco's bitch. And he's like, well, just your basic, basic, bitch black walkie talkie. And I was like, we should say we're pink. She's like, how big is your walkie talkie? So now Moira, Deris friend, it's like, hey guys,

I'm sorry to interrupt. Yes. By the way, I'm not a person whose name starts with M. I mean, for us as recappers, like everyone starts with it. It's like, Marco, Missy, Moira, mum, mum, I don't know. There was like another M word in there, but like, it's like, my mind is like exploding without the M words. So she's like, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt. Maybe she'll we call for Deris to get back to the room to tell the story. And Mrs.

like, but I told it. I just told it. I don't know. Well, I don't know the background story.

“Well, maybe you should listen then, because I just have the courage to tell it. And I'm a walkie.”

Brave, brave walkie. So Moira is like, the only people who are not here right now is Deris, which apparently the conversation is about her. See, now Deris here. She came back in the room. And now you can continue. That's all I'm asking you. And so Missy is like, but who are you to tell me what I kind of cannot do? I'm like, we, I actually think that I think Moira as a friend of Deris, I think it was within her right to be like,

can you not talk shit about our host while she's out of the room? And Missy's like, "Oh, you ought to tell me what to not do?" So Moira's like, because I'm-- But they weren't really. They were just talking about walkie talkies. Yeah, but they weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like. They weren't like.

They didn't even say anything about Deris. They were just like, "Missy, are you okay?" And then they started talking about walkie talkies. And she's like, "Have Deris, you talk about walkie talkies?" My friend didn't hear to stand up for herself.

It was a strange moment for Moira to pipe in, but I do think she was ultimately being like,

she could sense. It was ultimately-- the walkie talkie was still sort of in service of kind of ridiculing Deris. And so, um, so now Moira's like, "I'm her friend. I'm her friend who just met her, because I follow her on Instagram." She's like, "Yeah." And I'm who I am. I have my voice. I have brave. My therapist said, "Hang in there." So I'm hanging in there right now. You cannot jump off this branch. Strangers are just people you haven't met yet. And we're done with the

set of those older ones at the footprints. Well, I just met you. Well, you know what? If someone is lying in my face, well, if you're speaking about the person that's not the room behind her back, "Oh, you know what? Tell the truth. Then tell the truth." Missy is ready to just fight. And she's going to have it with this friend. She doesn't even go. So Deris comes back and she sits down. She's still got this big smile on her face. So Missy's like, "What's it? Tell what's

it not said?" Let her be in the room. Just let her be in the room without asking her. It's better not said. And remember, I did not say those things. And it goes, "This is Deris. Five seconds ago." I didn't say those things. Get the right contradiction. So Missy is like, "Is this what you're saying? I'm lying. I'm lying." And Deris is like, "I'm not calling anyone a liar. I'm not saying anyone's a liar." And Missy is like, "Well,

it's black a white. It's not great." She's, "Um, I just want to have, I just want to have a really good

“one." We should do the live detector test. Live detector test. So Kimmy's like, "What?”

Deris, a two-phase B-watch?" I mean, she seems like she's one of the social climbing women that will step on anyone to be something that she's not. I love her. Oh, Mark's a good one. I think it would be very flattery to call down a social climber because it's suggest that she would have something some climbing ability, which I don't believe that she has. Oh, well, obviously there's

Do you know, listen? I think a friendship. In a friendship it's normal to have differences. So I think celebrating differences probably what tonight should be about. Thank you. Here's a difference. Your American Institute bit an arm British and fabulous there. I know neighborhood's in Tuscany. You don't. And that's fine. I like that. And other people will reach and be honest. No, where's the speech about honesty. So indeed precisely.

But she called me a liar. Well, that's exactly what I'm getting at. I think I forgot. I had one good speech in me ladies. Okay, I managed her up. Should we be honest? Here we go. I heard a rumour.

“Dara, that you are madden. I think I thought it wasn't awesome rumour. I think Martha. What?”

Mark just starts laughing if it was drink. There it goes. There was like, I'm an architect. When I spread it and I'm sorry. But you have to admit it's a great rumour. I heard it. And I spread it. What a wonderful rumour am I right? But I am sorry for that.

It means like, I love Martha. I think the thing about Martha. She's just always too nice.

Always too nice. She just spread a rumour about someone being a madam. Mark's like, well, also I think that having a sense of humour is absolutely fundamental to one's existence. Well, as I told you, I'm in our architect. I ran two businesses that just have an amazing dinner and just move on. Please. And this is like, she's not honest. She's not honest. But the truth is obvious. You can do that shit. By the way, this is where you actually can tell

“that Missy was a real housewife in a previous life because she, like, everyone else is just like”

cackling and having a great time. It was getting drunk and she's like, "But I'm brave. I had a praise moment. This was my moment." You can't not do that. She's like, "Oh, it doesn't matter because it's obvious everyone." And Missy's like, "Really? Okay. She's like, "I feel like I'm being made to look crazy." I mean, I don't care about it. But like, I just, you know, it's like, I'm just being authentic. I'm a brave person." It's okay. It's okay. This is London. You're not supposed to be authentic anyway.

Mark was like, "I want to be privy to what Micah thinks and feels. What does Micah think?" Absolutely. I must, I mean, the only person who hasn't spoken yet is poor, literally, dear Micah, which I think is absolutely unfair. Micah take the floor. And she's like, "Um, well, I'm not usually so quiet, but, you know, I'm hurt and I'm stunned." And it's my best friend. And then to hear that, I'm just, "I'm a loyal friend." And it's, it's hard for me.

Ten-four. Good buddy. Ten-four. "See no answer." So I think that Darren, I need to talk on the side.

And I always believe in very clear communication, battery operated, though it may be. And I'm very

upfront. And my whole thing is, if you can't say it to that person, you shouldn't say it about them. Please don't use your salad fork for dessert. That was a beautiful speech. It was so lovely that I got you this complimentary cowboy hat. So you could be a little bit more American. Well, I feel like she's really upset. Well, of course, she's upset. You guys, okay, you know what,

“cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. That's how I say cut. Oh, god. Cut, cut, cut. That's how they just say one.”

They look around like, we're not being filmed. What are you talking about? What is that? You cut, cut, cut, cut. Um, yeah, I think they're like, I need to probably step out of this. I think being on this TV show, I'm really starting to support everybody, but I just don't think this is for me, you know, so. What TV show does no TV show? Kind of a crazy world is this woman living in. Emma's like, you can't just live when you're not getting in. Hey, that's like what children do

on a bad day. I just leave. Just leave. There's no need to cut anything. You've already been cut. Well, this isn't for me, guys. Well, she may as well be gone. Well, I'm kind of done with dinner. So I think I'm just going to leave now. I didn't really feel like there's anything more to discuss. My, and this says, Dara decided to leave the friend group. I love that they still got the friend group. She quit the show. Look how brave I was. Was she quit the show? So Micah is like,

I have cried more times about Dara than I've ever cried, but anything in my life. Have you ever found yourself crying into a CB radio? It's a very lonely feeling. I feel like I lost the family member.

I lost the friend. I lost trust. My friendship with Dara is never going to be what it was.

John, John. Funny show. You know, there's a lot of conversation on if it's problematic that they

I think that that that I have to say it pinged on my radar when when it happened. I was like, oh,

feels weird. Like the only like Asian American lady on the cast that they're going to go. Therefore, but I wasn't, I'm not as up on, I wasn't sure if it was a microdression or not, and but it definitely pinged me a little bit. And I wasn't sure if it was a thing. But yeah, I definitely have to look into that and read more about that. Yeah, I mean, certainly not great, but I have to say, I really like Dara. I thought she was

perfect for this show. I mean, her whole life, the way that she would just smile through the whole thing, she was giving me a little bit stacy from Potomac, just how she didn't even care. She would just smile. You know, it's like they criticized her and she's like, oh, yeah,

well, let's have a madden. They're not famous enough to understand gossip. So I got it.

And just her whole vibe of like talking shit behind somebody's back and then being called out on it and

“being like, mm, didn't say it. Yeah. So I think she was so funny and I wish she hadn't quit because”

I think she took that attitude and just said, like, listen, you guys, this is, I'm a business woman and I have a family and you coming at me calling me a madden is really low. Like, that's disgusting, you know, or whatever, whatever she needed to say. But yeah, I think that this shows, you know, less, you know, it's missing something without having earned it's only been on two episodes. Yeah, I actually really liked her and I just thought that she was a badass that she was an architect.

I thought that was super cool. Like, she's this accomplished architect in this group and I would have liked her to have pushed back and been like, you know what, like, I'm not a madden and this, I've actually worked really hard to become an architect and this is a really big deal and you know, you're diminishing me and, you know, like there is, like sort of it does feel a bit like a microaggression. Although I don't know if this circle cares about microaggressions, they're like, oh, darling,

“whatever, I think it's skin. But I mean, that's a microaggression. You can't see it without a microscope,”

and we don't have those. So yeah, I feel like, I feel like be like, guys, this is a microaggression would just literally just fall on deaf ears with them or drunk ears with them. But yeah, I have to agree. I actually liked Darra and if she was going to become a villain in the show, then great. But you know what, the show has so many characters. I'm sure we will be fine moving forward without her, but it is a little sad. Maybe she'll come back for another season

if this, uh, this goes well. Yeah, if you quit in the middle of production, I don't think Bravo likes that. Yeah, well, great show. Love it. All right, everybody. Thanks, the show is on Thursday nights after real housewives of Beverly Hills. So watch it. We will be covering it. Um, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think. It's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the amber way. It's the foster and the

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