I Can't Let Go Because I Feel Hurt and I Feel Anxious — The Emotional Intelligence Needed to Break Free from Fear, Live with Courage, Discover Inner Abundance, and Move Forward with Confidence

for more, knowing something is missing.

Then this podcast is for you, so here's your host, Joe Midagal. Hello, and welcome to we.

“Have you ever wondered why letting go feels so impossible?”

Have you ever tried to move on from a relationship, a painful memory, a betrayal, a dream that never came true? Our version of your life you desperately wanted to keep? You tell yourself, I know I need to let go, but no matter how hard you try, something inside keeps holding on.

For years, I believe I couldn't let go because I wasn't strong enough.

I thought I needed more willpower, more discipline, or maybe just more time. But I eventually discovered something that truly changed my life. The reason we can't let go, usually isn't because we're holding on to the past.

“It's because we're afraid of what will feel when we finally let go.”

But need to every attachment is an emotion we've been trying to avoid. It might be grief, it might be loneliness, it might be fear, rejection, shame, disappointment, or the feeling that somehow we failed.

Holding on often feels painful, but to our mind and our body, it feels safer than facing

those buried emotions. So we stay attached, not because we want to, but because we're afraid. The irony, of course, is that the very thing we're trying to escape by holding on is the very thing preventing us from truly healing. We carry the weight of yesterday because we believe the emotions waiting on the other side

of letting go will be too much to bear. But what if they're not?

“What if the emotions you've been spending years of waiting aren't there to destroy you?”

But are actually there to free you? Today we're going to explore why letting go is one of the most misunderstood parts of the emotional healing journey. We'll uncover why fear keeps us emotionally stuck, why avoiding pain, emotional emotions give them more power over our lives, and how learning to safely experience those emotions

becomes the doorway to courage, peace, and true inner freedom. Because healing doesn't begin the moment you let go folks, healing begins the moment you're no longer afraid of what you'll feel after you do. My name is Joe Mitica, and this is we. We as a podcast about emotional healing, human transformation, and becoming the person you

were created to be, because healing doesn't happen alone. It happens when we remember the we. So I want to welcome everybody here today, and I want to thank you for being here. I have to tell you that typically I have no idea what emotions are going to come up in a podcast that I'm doing, you know, how I do these podcasts and why I do these podcasts, they're

considered experienced strength and hope. I don't tell people what to do, I don't tell people how to do, I don't tell people what to believe, I tell people my experience, strength and hope, and typically as I prepare, I have titles prepared ahead of time, but I just kind of let life and life experiences unfold, and then share with you my friends the experience I'm in.

And today I have to tell you, I know what today's podcast is going to be about. It's going to be about loss. It's going to be about sadness, and you are definitely going to hear me cry. So from the beginning, please be patient with me, I will make it through this podcast. I promise, I'm going to pray for strength and courage from a power greater than myself,

which I've been doing all day, because yesterday, I had to make the very difficult decision

Sometimes pain is that place you just can't breathe, and I'm in that today, I have the day.

“I was in it yesterday worse, and people say, well, too, what the hell are you doing?”

Why are you doing it now? And you know why, because what better way, for me to share with the world, that if I can

tell a million people, and quite honestly, the way that we broadcast is exploding around

the world, welcome Norway, welcome Canada, welcome my brain isn't thinking too good today. So I apologize for other countries I'm not mentioning. It's probably a million people going to hear this podcast. But when I say all the time, if I can tell a million people that I'm hurting and I'm grieving and I'm in deep loss, then you can tell one, because if you're hurting and you're isolated,

it's time to get out of that isolation, it's time to tell somebody. So I share my experience, strength and hope, and typically, I don't know what's going to come out. I write down a dozen or two sentences on a piece of paper prior to a podcast

and whatever flows, a couple of weeks ago I was talking about forgiveness, and I grieved

at the end of that about the death of one of my perps, I had no idea that was coming when it came. Well, I can tell you today folks, I am in deep grief, and I want you to know, I can feel your prayers, I can feel your love, and I genuinely feel your support I do. I was a witness to my life coach, Dr. Karan, going through three months, she had to do the

same experience a couple months ago, and I know a lot of you have been here, I do. And the death of a family member is different than a death of a pet, it just is, and

“that pet becomes literally a part of the family, right?”

The difference is, it's only unconditional, pets are the purest thing to unconditional love we have ever experienced. So when it's time to say goodbye, the pain is deeper, it just is. So today, I'm going to share with you what I've been doing, and how did I make such a difficult decision, you know, a living a world where my boys are my kids, they're not my support.

No, a parent is the kid's support, so where do I get my support? I'm in silence all the time, well, it's from a power greater than myself, and I'm going to explain how I make difficult decisions, I'm going to tell you what I do, how to, I'm also going to tell you what I've done, and what people around me have done during these difficult times.

“We all have different styles, we all have different needs, we all have different approaches.”

I can only tell you mine, and over time I'm going to tell you, others as contributors volunteered to be here with me, I want you to hear other people's experiences, that's why I'm working diligently on the voices of we. But I just want you to know, if you've lost a pet, a family member, I freaking get it, it's painful, and I'm in the center of that right now.

I was literally talking to a man who, I've shared the story, he's trying to get out of his addiction, Christian guy, good Christian, beautiful person, and he's in the phase of the voices, and he's getting off alcohol a little bit, but the voices are just torture, and you know what I told him? I said, John, which is not his name, I said, John, you know what, it's time to stop praying

like a Christian, it's time to start praying like a warrior. And I met no disrespect for Christianity in any way, shape, or form, but I was trying to make a point when you are going into battle, and you don't say, "Hey, dear God, the rest give me a little bit, please, I can really take a little support here, remove the voices." No, you're going into battle, you say, "Hey, God, I'm going because of you, I need your

strength and I need your courage." And that's what I told him. I said, John, time to pray like a warrior, strength and courage, and sure enough, the courage

worked because he finally opened up a little bit, shared stuff with me, it never shared

before. I'm going to be that set of ears for him, he doesn't know me, I've never met these people, but so I'm a safe place for his words to go into my ears, and like I said to him,

a long time, so there's nothing he could say that I've been heard before, but I'm just

“going to tell you straight up, and I'm going to say right now, dear God, give me the strength”

and courage because I'm going to share the best I can and show my strength by being willing to share from the depths of pain, and I want you, if you're on here, to feel the pain with me and understand the pain you're feeling is yours, not Joe's, Joe can handle Joe's, Joe is handling Joe's, Joe is sharing with the world why Joe is in the middle of it, and how can I do that, folks, I've been doing this a really long time, so do I have

any fear of emotion anymore, no, I don't, do most people, yes, and that's all part

of the spiritual journey, that's all part of the awakening process, that's all part of the emotional growth, that's all part of the spiritual awakening, where did I learn not to be so fearful of my pain is years ago when I realized the reason I was holding on, whatever the holding on was, wasn't because I was afraid to not have another girlfriend, or afraid of whatever it is, it was, if I let go of my girlfriend at the time, whatever the it was,

then I'd have to feel the loneliness, I don't want to feel the loneliness, I'd rather be in a relationship than it would work, and you know I could go on and on, this podcast isn't about that, this podcast is about sharing with you the strength, where does Joe get the strength to be able to share literally in the center of my grave, and I get it from a power greater than myself, all part of the we, human self, higher self inner self, well I can tell you

right now, my human self is grieving, I lost my one of my closest friends yesterday, and I'm the one that had to make the decision, and I'm going to tell you how I did it with no guilt, no remorse, and absolutely no fear, of course the problem, you don't have the other

“deterrence, there's the only thing left, as you feel as pain you can't breathe, well, did a lot”

yesterday, obviously still today, so let me just tell you there's a story, my past wife and I we met in church, I got out of my seven years of darkness and ready to live life, I looked across the room and I saw this beautiful woman and I said I'm going to marry her, sure enough I did, breachers daughter, you know, I still have breachers daughter, I just think that's kind of funny, you know, I was an FU, I was an FU god guy, and now I'm marrying the breachers daughter, I mean

there were so many oxymorons and so many cliches that I had a lot of fun with myself with and my past wife was a beautiful woman, a great mom, was a great wife, kind loving, sweet, I mean anything and everything you'd want, and people say well, Jesus, if she was so great, why did you guys divorce? Well, we divorced because as our path grew, we both were on a spiritual path, we grew differently, and quite honestly, I couldn't

give her what she wanted in a marriage, it wasn't her, it was me, I couldn't do it, so I take full responsibility for that, and I do, I say that with no remorse and no regret, because for Joe, I can't put anything or anyone including my wife and the love I had for my wife have still,

you know, loves I never going thing, I can't put that in front of the connection with my

higher power, I could, and I'm not saying she was asking me to, she didn't say, hey Joe, stop that

“god thing and love, no, but the needs and the once in her world, that's what I would have had to have”

done, and I couldn't do it, and I didn't do it, so one day on a Tuesday, she says, and we'd been having our challenges needless to say, and two-sided straight, I had plenty to do with it, and trust me, so did she, I'll never talk about somebody else's issues, because I had a tough enough time keeping up with my own, but in all relationships, there's always two sides, well, she comes in on a Tuesday after some challenging times, and she says, I've got to talk to you on

Saturday, and I remember thinking, oh, oh, that's not going to be good, and in the scenario of adults,

she wanted to do admit, or she was going to say divorce, and knowing, I knew my wife very,

very well, she's a beautiful woman, woman of integrity, so it wasn't going to be anything of guilt and remorse on her side, she walked in and said, Joe, I've divorced you, and I don't love you anymore, and in the I don't love you anymore is where I said, I'm okay, I hear you, and I'm done, you know, I'll leave, because my esteem was so high, my worth was so high, I couldn't, I was

“I couldn't fight for a marriage with somebody who could honestly tell me the truth, and I give”

her a lot of credit for that, I really do, she's honest, very honest with me, and so four days later, I packed up the stuff that fit the front seat, the car, and I left, and it's interesting because I said I wasn't going to do it, but I am, and I'm one of these people that, you know, I typically don't talk about other people's stuff until I've asked for permission, but I have to tell you right here in this point, I came across this website randomly, I mean literally randomly,

called divorce post, and as I was reading it, looking at, I said, Jesus, what I would have done, to have that kind of support in those days after my wife says, and I don't love you anymore, I had no support, I had nothing, I had no place to go, and I don't know anything about this, and I'm one of these guys that tends to beg for forgiveness before I ask for permission. Now to my credit, I am in the beginning, I'm trying to get to the owners of this particular website,

divorce post, because I have concern for my listeners, my friends, all of you, and

folks, we are growing at a rate that humanity has never seen. In my opinion, the divorce rates,

over the past decade, are going to be minuscule to what they're going to be in the next decade, why? Because people are growing, and you're either growing or you're going, your relationship is either growing or you're going, and you can be with somebody for 20 years, and emotionally and spiritually outgrow them. Is that a bad thing? No, it's all part of your divinity, it's all part of

“your spiritual path, and that's why I'm hoping to get permission from this group, this ownership”

group, to be able to talk about divorce post a lot, because I believe everybody are listening here. Now, and we are well in excess of 100,000 plus downloads a month. I don't know the numbers, I don't look at the numbers. I just know we are ranked 86, there's something in the freaking globe now, which means a lot of people, and you're either personally in a divorce, or you know somebody personally that just went through one, or you know somebody personally who's getting

ready to, everybody listening, know somebody that needs to visit divorce post, and I, you know, so I said it, I hope I don't offend the people there. I typically don't share a less,

but you know what, quite honestly, I'm putting the needs in my listeners first. If I can't

“imagine them getting mad, but it kind of goes against a little bit of personal integrity, but what”

I would have done, a lot alone, the tens of, I don't know, hundreds of thousands, I'd saved and money in attorney fees and all that, just the peace of mind, the confusion. Do you know 10 years later, I still don't know where documents are, which if I would have collected them 10 years ago, which is all part of what this divorce post does, life would just be freaking easier. I still don't know. Well, so everything in the front seat of my car, that's it. I didn't hire an attorney.

I'm not fighting you. I don't, you take everything. I don't care. All I want, my only request, and then I found out later, George Allah, is my kids 50% of the time. And that wasn't a battle. I didn't fight. I walked away. Do I suggest that for anybody? No, visit the worst post, let her help you. Why did I do it? Because that's just me. I've got a big personality. I knew I built it before. I'll build it again. Well, I was right, I did. So the building of the life

from whatever. Well, now I've got a nine year old and a four year old that when they come to see me, which we were 50, 50, during a house that's 10 miles away from where they lived the whole lives,

from home. So my oldest son, I was his caregiver when my wife would go to work. So my oldest son, and I spent every day together, our entire life. And now I'm gone. So when he came,

when they came to stay with me, I was working to create a home. This was the first rental.

I mean, it happened so fast. I got a six month rental. Well, loan behold. That's where Zeus comes in. And as a boy, as a young boy, I was more 11 or 12, I think, probably 11. We got a German shepherd puppy named Roman. And all through my teens, Roman and I were really good friends. I trained him. He was my hobby. You know, I could literally take Roman in and big fairs with no leash on. And he would heal right next to me. Police officer walks up in one time of 15 years,

all he says, son, you got a leash. I said, yeah, it's right here in my hand. He says, no, do you have a leash on the dog? I said, no, sir, I don't need a leash on the dog. He said,

“leash him, I put him up. Okay, I'll leash him, but I didn't need to. That's how well trained Roman”

was. Well, as far as Zeus comes in. And so I bought Zeus 10, 10 week old puppies, but 12 pounds. And I needed something so that when the boys came, especially my oldest, who was super active, to have a friend. And that was Zeus. When Elizabeth and I told Joseph that we're divorcing, he's nine years old. He didn't understand really what was going on. He just knew everything was changing rapidly. And he cries for about 45 seconds. And then he stops. And he says, okay, can I go

outside and play with Justin? Who was the neighbor kid? We said, sure, buddy, go play. Well, I needed to replace Justin for Joseph when he came to my house. Hence, a 10 week old puppy. And that's where Zeus came in over the following years. Zeus got bigger. Joseph got bigger when they were little. Joseph, you know, Zeus is 12, 15 pounds. All puppy, all feet, all ears. You know what they look like. Joseph would run around the backyard. Zeus would

try to chase him. And Zeus is a little puppy running 18 feet while Joseph's running 80. And I always said

to Joseph. Have fun now, buddy. He had no idea. He's nine. So the later, this is going to catch up.

“So the later he's going to beat you in a race. Now, always be faster than him. That's what Joseph”

used to always say. Well, as you all know, 18 months later, Zeus now starts chasing girls. He's a 70 pound two-year-old German shepherd. He could out chase anything. He'd chase rabbit, he'd chase squirrel. He'd chase anything that would run, including my son, Joseph. And Zeus became Joseph's friend. I mean, close friend. And you always say that your owners, the owners of a pat are similar. Well, Zeus and I are definitely similar, but Zeus and Joseph were almost like brothers.

It was the most bizarre thing. It's like they had the same personality. Every time Joseph would walk into the room, he'd walk right up. There's a sleeping or not sleeping and bug him. Every time Zeus is entire life. Zeus didn't care. He'd jump up and go play. And they were close. And what did Zeus do for that, right? My heart was breaking for my kids at that point, naturally. My faith and a power greater than myself caused my kids staff to now live in two homes, literally.

“And no guilt, no remorse. When there's no guilt, no remorse, the only thing it feels pain.”

And that's what I felt a lot of, in that period. Pain, pain of loss, of a life of a marriage of the love of my life. I made a commitment to covenant to God that there was a part. Well, all that changed, right? But then I have kids. And I have to care now for my kids.

The reason I never, I chose not to get any type of female relationship all that next decade,

which is still the case today, is because I had all intentions of giving any overflow I had to caring for my kids and creating a safe environment for them. Zeus was the answer. Zeus was the solution to that. So, in my world, we all have special rhymes and special reasons of the pet in our world. You know, they become a family member, they do. Well, in my world, for Joseph, Zeus was his good friend. For me, Zeus was a savior for my kids.

And it brought a tremendous amount of the only place I could feel peace when I was grieving deeply.

over, they wouldn't be bored. They'd have fun. And they did. And that was Zeus. So, Zeus grew into

“a hundred plus pound pure alpha male police dog looking German shepherd. You know the vision,”

you do. The boys got older, I built the house I've lived in right now. I built, I was building, while I was renting, and moved in. And so, I have a backyard that's fenced, and Zeus is in

our world. Zeus never went outside. I mean, never went outside the fence. So, he had a few visits to

the veterinary when he was little, but I'm not a Vax guy. And Zeus was surrounded by nobody, he was perfectly healthy as entire life. Zeus would literally eat almost 50 pounds. Those great big bags of food, about 50 pounds of food a month. He's that kind of big. And he would every time somebody, because I live, my back deck is up, because when I've got to walk out a walk out basement. So, Zeus would stand there, he stands in my back deck kind of like Simba in Lion King looking over

“the kingdom. That's what Zeus would do, looking over the neighborhood. And for a decade,”

every time a dog had come, Zeus would do that massive German shepherd. I'm going to kill you,

how dare you come onto my street. I'd go out there at Hollerad, he might scream at him, I'd yell at him, I'd say that he didn't care, he'd stop, but he'd do it again every day. You know, it's kind of funny because Zeus' big bad mean, big ass German shepherd, he'd still dad came. And everybody knows who the primary alpha is in this house and it's dad. And so I would go out there and I'd say, have you lost your mind talking like that to my dog, right?

And he'd cowered down, you would think you would stop now, very next time, big alpha.

“I used to say to the kids, he just likes my attention, that's why he's doing it.”

Anyways, Zeus was a great dog. And it was kind of spiritually, we know how it works, right? Massive transitions, big changes, my oldest son left for college a month ago. And I knew, literally when Zeus was little, he would need for three days. The kids weren't around, he would need, I'd say with him, he wouldn't need. That's why when he got bigger feet and he for a day or two, I didn't mind because I knew when he's hungry, he didn't happen as they got older. Well,

I became a single dad and then both my boys over time live with me, both my boys have lived with me full-time for nine years. And Zeus, so it was the four of us. So about four or five months ago, Zeus starts growing like a big cyst on his stomach. And he's old. It took him 12 years old. There was no way I was going to take him to a vet at this point. There was no way I was going to have any type of procedure at this point. He's too old.

And a lot of German shepherds don't make it past seven or eight. He's on 12 and he's big. He's not little. I had a cyst on his stomach. And we watched it. Nothing could do. Didn't think of

thing about it at the first. And it was just amazing how, as Joseph's world starts transitioning,

that cyst is like rapidly growing. And I can't explain it. I didn't know this was going to happen back then. But it was when Zeus, I never shut my back door in my house. It's 100 degrees. It's 90 degrees. It's 40 degrees. Zeus comes in and out of the just the back living room part of my house, which I have a huge downstairs. It's all hardwood. And there's an area in my house that Zeus always stayed. He could walk anywhere. He could, but he was strained to stay in

that area. Well, sure enough, as we start packing Joseph's boxes. And they're all the way in the front of the house. The boxes to move to college. I see Zeus more than once. And he breaks the rules. And he goes and sits with Joseph's boxes. He knew he would go sleep. Where my son's boxes that we're getting ready to be moved out. It took us a month or a week to pack him. Every night, Zeus would go break his own rules, go and sleep with Joseph's boxes. Of course, I didn't get on to my

new. What was happening? Long behold, Joseph leaves. I can't say Zeus was depressed, but certainly

issue. I just knew it. And because he wouldn't leave it alone. And you want to get mad, but he's a dog.

“He doesn't know. All he feels is something hanging. And I couldn't get him to stop kicking it.”

So we'd wrap it and keep it governed. But he can do whatever he wants. He's a hundred pounds. Hundreds and more than that. Probably 115. Well, loan behold, a couple weeks ago, he got worse. And then you can't get mad at him. But he wouldn't leave it alone. And then eventually he tore it into a sore. And I called nothing you can do, Mr. Medica. Keep him comfortable. Keep him wrapped. Put some medicine on it. Nothing you do. Okay. At that point, this is probably a month ago.

Of course, I know. It's only a matter of time. I didn't know timing. So I'm going to share with you what I did. How do you make these decisions, Joe? I asked for guidance. Folks, we are a multi-dimensional being. Right now, as you're sitting here, you're sitting in an emotionally intense conversation. I'm speaking with you. So you're emotional senses. As I'm crying, I'm sure you're feeling twinges in your belly, twinges in your heart. If you just lost a pet, I am so sorry.

Obviously, I can empathize with your pain. If you lost a pet a while ago, I am so sorry. I have a compassion for your loss. And if you're getting ready, and you've got an older pet now, it's one of the harder decisions, but how did I do it? With no one to talk to. For those of you that are new here, a month ago or so, I keep, I'm guided by a power grade of myself all the time. I don't have the voices in my head. I almost have no voices. And I'm guided

back into silence. And I felt myself resist. Oh, my God, please, not silence, please, because I was interpreting silence to solitude, like I spent those seven years. All my higher power, one meter do is take my headphones off. And long behold, I have, I am. And so on any given day, if I'm not sleeping, I'm pretty much in silence. I don't own a television. I'm not somebody to listen to the radio. My oldest son is gone. And my youngest son, who's just an absolute

genius, literally. He's learning how to trade futures on the stock market. He's got his own

“apartment downstairs. I see him every day, but I'm hearing. I think he's up like $9,000 or something”

to 14. I don't know, just bizarre. So I'm in silence. And I say that over and over, because I'm asking each of you, have you started your day with some silence yet? Have you started your practice of silence, meaning no external stimulus, start with 30 seconds, start with a minute. And I

always say, if I can do five or six hours, you can do five or six minutes, build up to five or

six minutes. And why do you want to? It's because even though you're still going to hear the chaos in your head, if you sit long enough in enough quiet space, you're going to hear a deeper guidance. You're going to hear a deeper soft device. And that deeper soft device is your higher power. That's where you're going to get the guidance from a grander you. Human you, enter you,

“higher you, are your divinity. How do we hear the divinity? How are we guided by the divinity?”

Well, for me, I can hear it. Some people can feel it. A lot of women can sense it. You're got instincts. You're intuition. And I hear it. Well, in my silence now, I would pray. Ask, listen, live. Ask for guidance. Listen. And then live your life. Live whatever the guidance is telling you to do. So, I was asking for guidance. How will I know? How will I know when it's time? Because I'm the person has to make the decision to put a live human, a live being to sleep.

He's alive one second. And because of my decision now, he's in pure spirit.

And I have no remorse. I have no guilt. I asked. And what I heard was asks Zeus. Zeus will tell you

Now, about two weeks ago, this big mass, this big cyst got to where a point where

“Zeus scabbed it and it would start to bleed. So, we'd wrap it. And he's 110 pounds. You could wrap it”

with a sheet of iron when he wants to wrap off over time. He's going to get the wrap off. And he did. And he was about, but you could tell it was getting worse. And there was nothing I could do. I wasn't resisting. I wasn't holding on. How do I know? I'm not afraid of my emotions, folks. Was I in pain? Did I know what was coming? Yes. Did I grieve the entire time? Yes.

Was I fearful of letting him go? No. Why? Because I wasn't afraid of the pain I was going to feel.

Why? Because I asked for strength from the divinity that's already in me. Alone, if I would be doing it all alone with no divine presence. Now, the pain of something you care so deeply about, it's terrifying. And ask for strength. And quite honestly, when it comes to pain, when it comes to

“emotion, strength isn't what you need. It's courage. You have to pray for courage. Why?”

What's the opposite of fear? Courage. Why? Because the pain is hard and the pain is scary and the pain

fricking. It hurts. It does. Nobody voluntarily wants to feel pain, but you don't have to be afraid of it.

For Joe, my comfort is a power greater than myself in me. If you in this place, find what's comfortable for you. A friend, a group, a sponsor, a therapist, a somebody. He linked doesn't happen alone. It happens in the way. Joe's we happens to be me and a power greater than myself. If I ever have a female in my life, would I exclude her from this? No, but all I can say, she better be tough as freaking nails because when I grieve, I vibrate the house. And I would be

perfectly fine if my female partner someday said, you know what, Joe, it's too much for me. I have to go. I would be fine. I wouldn't feel lost or abandoned. I get it. I do. And, but that's Joe. In future episodes, I'm going to talk about an experience I had of a death one of a child, and what that family did. There's support, folks. There is. So when you're in grief, get support. Tell somebody. I want to share from the depths of my grief, the best I can.

39 minutes in. I still haven't clicked it off. So I'm making it. I prayed for strength and courage. And God just keeps giving me the strength to keep this going. And because I want to keep

“telling you what happened at the end. Well, I said, okay, but Jesus, you have to let me know.”

You let me know. Now, did I know how I was going to do it? No, I didn't. My, my, my life coach, her dog, talker literally came to me in dream time. I didn't know what the dog looked like, came to me and said, tell my mama, I love her. Tell my mama, I love her. And as I go, okay, I will. That happens to me a lot. You know, the veil kind of goes away a lot. I didn't even know who the dog was. It all clicked to me when I woke up the next morning. So I told this mom for a

hell, it was very healing for her. Well, I said, Jesus, you have to tell me when you have to tell me. Well, on July the 28th, Jesus stopped eating. And I knew that was Jesus's way to like repair me, you know, 50 pounds, 50 pounds of food a month. You know, any serving bowl you put a salad in, that's the kind of bowl of foods is what he, every day dry, not dry, we put water, no extra. When he got older, I put a little bit of extra. But he stopped eating on July the 28th.

And you know, day one, day two, I got it. The son is belly. Still pretty. I could still wrap it. I'm getting uncomfortable. He did, was no one in no pain. And then I ask chat, like, how do you know?

there's still still walking around. He's still barking. He's still whatever. Now, it's day three

“no eating. And he will not leave this just alone. And no matter what I did,”

he wouldn't leave it alone. So, let's just say, 100 pound dog decides. He wants that. I cut up sheets. I cut up flannel sheets. Big red, flannel sheets. Rap is whole body. And just to keep him protected from himself, you start seeing the blood come through the sheet little by little. And there was no pain.

And he wouldn't leave it alone. And then day five, day six, no eating. I keep thinking,

I don't confuse the position of hope with understanding and allowance. I wasn't hoping Zeus would start eating. But I was allowing however it would unfold to guide me. Hope is a human experience that we pursue to try to make ourselves feel better. Period. When you're in a great mood, just made a million bucks. You don't look for hope. You look for hope when you're feeling horrible, when you're sad, when you're dark, you would ever.

Well, I wasn't hoping for Zeus to start eating again. Because that would have been Joe putting Joe's emotions in front of Zeus's needs. I've been Zeus's caregiver's whole life.

“Joseph and Zeus were friends. We're like little brothers, right?”

I was Zeus's caregiver's whole life. Zeus was around me every day. I've never

set today's the first day in my house, which is now 10 years old. That Zeus wasn't here. So every night Zeus was next to me. Every day Zeus was next to me. I fed him the whole thing. So Zeus was my friend. He was. In my darker times, as you know, dogs and animals just come sit with you. Well, I kept asking him. I said, "You let me know. You'll let me know." Well, sure enough, day before yesterday, no. What the hell? It's just yesterday.

Yesterday, I come downstairs and Zeus is he's sitting in a puddle of blood and it's like, "Okay, buddy. I couldn't." And I tried to wrap him right. And I couldn't get it to stop. And no guilt, no remorse. I knew this was what was going to happen. You know, so there's a puddle of blood in my living room. I said puddle, six inches or something. And I knew this was the time, right? So also when changing the wrap, he's big and I can't get it

under him. I have to lift him and he won't help. He can't. And he was starting to hurt. You could tell. Not when he was, not when he's just sitting. But now what you have an open wound that

“medicine won't heal. Nothing's going to heal it now. You know, it's time. Time is the only thing”

going to heal it. And so I had to change it. And he would run from me. And he thinks he's hiding. He'd run off my top that go down to the patio deck underneath. And I wouldn't Jason. I wouldn't let him get out unwrapped. But I'd wrap him up with his new set of sheets. I didn't want it to get dirty. I didn't want it to hurt him. And then he'd run. Well, yesterday I didn't know where he comes to run him back in. Sitting next to me, blood on his chin, and we couldn't get it to stop.

So I knew, I knew that was the time. So I'm making calls. I don't know what they'll to do. And I knew it was time. And I look at Zeus' eyes. You know, you look at the innocent of an animal. And that was no fear. That was no fear. He was ready. Animals don't have fear. Now they're purely connected the whole time. I know where they're going.

So I call, I try to get someone to come to the house. And I remember I didn't know where a place that Zeus loved to go. I'd boarding eight years ago. I called the lady up.

“She says, oh my gosh, how are you, Mr. Medica, how is Zeus?”

And I said, well, man, today's Zeus is last day. Can you help me? And you talk about God on the phone. This woman's compassion was God.

I have to take a second right here. Our world is so skewed with the delusion that

money and fame and people knowing you and all of that has a special space for abundance. It isn't abundance happens when you are drawn to wherever your path leads you. And I believe there is there are millions and millions of people out there that are literally living their God path by the job they're doing. And I don't know how much a receptionist at a dog veterinary clinic makes. But I doubt if it's a ton of money.

My senses, like most people, we struggle with money. We struggle to pay the car payments. We struggle with our kids. We struggle to make it. But this woman's voice, it just helped. She was so kind because I was reaching out for help. She says we close, but I'll tell him and they'll stay. This place is 45 minutes from where I live. And an appointment took Zeus out of the car. He couldn't jump in the car and had to lift him up at this time. He's

about 80 pounds. He had eaten 10 days. And he just lays there. We walk in like he remembers.

He always loved driving in the car. We walk in. They say, "Me do the paperwork, whatever."

And she says, "I'll take care of it." And I had given both my boys their time, both of them, who said their gobbies, both of them are living their lives. They're both good. I told my oldest son, make sure in your sacred silence you feel your feelings. He's been taught to grieve his feelings, his entire life. He said to me, "Dad, I promise I will." And he will. I spoke to both of them. My youngest son said, "As we're leaving," he texts me and said, "Dad, let me know

when you're gone." He said, "I said my device deserves. I don't need to see him. Leave. My son setting his boundary." I said, "But he's no problem. I'll take him." That wasn't. My kids weren't going to come with me. And I took him. He went walk in and Zeus lays down. He's peaceful. He's peaceful.

“The blood finally clotted a little bit. But I knew how did I know. How did I make the decision?”

I didn't. Zeus did. How did Zeus make the decision based on the circumstances that I could no longer do anything about? I couldn't do anything. I did everything I could. And sometimes you reached that spot where humanity doesn't have a reason anymore. It doesn't have anything to do with it anymore. When I came down and we couldn't stop the bleeding, I was only going to wait a couple more days. I, you know, Zeus was strong. I wasn't going to allow Zeus to starve himself to death. I wouldn't

do that to him. I'd know intentions of doing that. I was going to wait a couple two or three more days, maybe a week, ten days. And then I had to make the decision. Which would have been harder quite honestly. This decision was emotionally brutal, but very easy to make the decision.

“Now, you make a final decision at one. And the appointments have five. Now you have to function for”

four hours. I said with him, I wrote this head. He'd look at me. He's like, what's going on? I'm good. Your pet is pure spirit. It's us that have the issues. I joke about my kids. Hey, guys, you know, I'm buying frosted flakes because I know you want some. He said, I don't buy

frosted flakes for them or me anymore. That was always the joke. I'd say it's about them.

going to miss you. It's like kids are fine. They both did their little bit of grieving.

“I've been grieving hard. As you can tell, Zeus was a friend and I had to say goodbye to a”

really good friend yesterday. So now what? Right? I'm going to, I have to say one more thing. There are people out there. I remember what I was a kid. I was terrified of the dentist. And I had a hygienist. We had her our whole life. Who is just the nicest, sweetest, kindest, gentlest, loving lady. I still remember this lady's face 60 years later. And I don't remember a name, but I remember, believe it or not, my dentist name was Dr. Fram.

It should have been Dr. Fram, but it was Fram. He was your stereotypical bulb 50-year-old mean guy, basically saying stop moving. And his kind dental assistant, she made everything okay.

“Go whole time. I'll never forget her ever. And I want to tell each of you now.”

Whatever your role is in the world, whether you're aware of it or not, if you're in the service world out there where there are hundreds of millions of you, you change people's lives. And I want to acknowledge

you. I wish I could name 100 million of your names because it's because of you that the world is

comforted. I walk in this place. And I said to her, "Do I have to stay in here?" She says, "No, Mr. Bittiger, I promise you I will take care of it." I said, "Thank you." And I had already said, "My goodbye." I handed her the leash. I asked for strength. And I got up and I got out, got my car sat and craved again. And I'm kidding. Well, eventually you catch a breath. Eventually, I knew the whole time, Zeus was going to a better place.

New the whole time, Zeus was going to be peace, so I knew the whole time Zeus was not scared.

It isn't about knowing where Zeus is going. It's about honoring all parts. My

divinity was very clear of Zeus' spiritual path. My divinity was very clear on how to guide me. My divinity was very clear on the whole process of unfolding the process called life. My emotions are emotions. We are emotional beings. We are human beings with emotions. It's the emotions that have that caused the challenge, the angst, the humanity of it, the fabric of who we are emotional beings. And when we can really identify, that emotions are a good part of us. I can promise

you and I'm done grieving all of this. I won't have a residue of grief. I won't, because I'm grieving it as I go. Now my path, I tend to do things with just myself. Whatever you need as far as support, do I suggest people take their loved one by themselves? No, I don't. And dear God, don't drive. If you don't have to. I don't have an adult in my world that could do that with me. I don't. I sat in the parking lot. I wasn't going to kill somebody because I'm grieving and kill, you know, so

go with somebody. And when the decisions are hard, let somebody else talk it through with you. And probably not your partner a lot of times. Let it be a friend. Let it be somebody.

“And sometimes folks, the hard ones, these, sometimes you have to surrender and get out of the way,”

because your emotions might not allow you to do what's best for the being you're making emotions decisions for. Well, in other words, if you've got a pet that you're the caregiver for and you have to say goodbye, you might have to let a family member make that decision with you. And that's perfectly fine. That's not weak. That's strong. We're two or more gathered. God is there. And so know that if you can't do it with just yourself and you can't make the

decision all on your own and you're terrified as hell. Know that that's okay. Don't stay in isolation with it. I promise you. If you're on this podcast, you're a good person. And if you're a good person, you got a whole world around you that will help you. I promise you, somebody will be there for you. Somebody at the church, your neighbor person, somebody, I don't know who in your world, somebody,

how do we do it now? Well, now is the after. And now is when asked listen, live is even more

“important because the asking for guidance, the asking for strength, the asking for courage,”

asking the divinity that's in you to guide you. Now probably has to happen even more. So you don't get slapped upside with a two by four over, oh my God, I walked into my house today

for the first time. Zeus didn't greet me. Oh my God, I woke up this morning for the first time

in this house ever. Zeus wasn't there. For the first time last night, I didn't have to make sure that the gate was closed. So Zeus wasn't going downstairs and bothered my son. For the first time in three years, literally three years, I closed my back door. The back door on my living room,

“it is never closed. Zeus always walks in and out. For the first time in three years, I closed”

that door. And I say that, right, because on the other side of the loss, now you go into the spiritual expansion, the spiritual awakening, the spiritual remembering, the growth part, your growth part. And as you're grieving, the depths of you, there's going to be a grander you ready to express, ready to come forward, ready to be lived. How do we do that? We place guidance, where they used to be

structure, mixed plain. Every morning, for the past 11 years, one of the first action steps I did

in the structure of my day was, get Zeus water every day. No getting Zeus water today. So what do I do with that three minutes now? For Joe, I ask for guidance. I ask for divinity to fill that space that action steps space that's now void because Zeus isn't here to fill it with love. I ask my divinity, which is pure love. Your source of pure love is the divinity called you. I ask my divinity to guide me and to fill me. Every energetic action that I used to do with Zeus,

now there's a void in those spaces. I went on my walk today, the first time I came back,

no Zeus. That space, every time I go sitting my chair, every morning Zeus will come up and I bet him no Zeus. What do I do? Instead of trying to pet Zeus, I go to God. I go to my divinity. Please guide me. Please give me strength. Of course, I've been grieving a lot. I miss my friend. I do. I am emotionally miss my friend. And I am going to make sure that I spiritually grow as much as I possibly can in honor of my friend Zeus. So in those places where your loved one

used to interact with you. Now fill it with a power greater than yourself. Until such time as you're ready to take it back out into your world, however that may look. The other side of that, right, is understand that grieving is a process. And the loss of a pet, now, might push the button of a loss of a parent that happened 10 years ago. Or a loss of a pet that you had when a kid, you know, this is the place that if you're connected at all with your

inner child, make sure your little kid is asked. How are you doing? And my little kid misses Zeus. He does. I little kid has been sad about Zeus. He does. But I can tell you, for Zeus, it was the adult man. It was more connected, really was. But I ask all parts of me, because all parts of your emotional being, you're going to multi-dimensional parts experiencing

“multi-dimensional things all at the same time. And always remember that as the emotional part”

of you is experiencing pain and angst and grief and remorse and anything else, there's a divine part of you that will give you the strength to feel it. We'll give you the courage to feel it.

a warrior. What is the warrior position when it comes to spiritual emotional growth? The warrior

position is when you embrace the depths and the dark of yourself in a way that you've never been

able to do before. Why do I do episodes like this? Because I care. I really do. I want people to know. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel. And if I can help one person, one person gets on this podcast and my voice and my grieving and my expression and my feelings, trigger them into

“a deeper place of grief than I've been successful. That's why I'm doing it. So I don't look at”

the numbers folks. I do it for the one person out there. I hope a million people are listening, but I truly do it for the one. That's my passion. The reward on the other side is

something that is truly amazing. I have to tell you. Because when the grief kind of softens and

you kind of move forward and the whole shift happens, the end result of the experiences more of spiritual one, a higher vibrational one. We have a grander sense of okayness. We have a grander sense of life. We see it more hawk view. And sure enough, this morning, I'm on my walk. And I had an experience that happened, which was very bizarre because typically whenever I see an animal who had

“made their transition, I feel an emotional, I feel an emotional loss for the loss of this animal's life.”

Well, sure enough, this particular morning, I've been in so much loss and grief of my friends, Zeus, I'm walking and for the first time ever on this particular walk, I see a little bunny, who had made its transition. And my reactionary thought was, well, Zeus will keep your company. Here what I just said, a little bunny, kid is a button. Instead of feeling remorse, I gulped and lost for the bunny, my reaction. I didn't even realize I felt that I saw it, said it

and saw it two steps later. I see this little bunny who had made its transition recent. And my reaction to it was for the little bunny. Zeus will keep your company. Zeus will meet you.

“So I was able to literally, in reactionary moment, have a spiritual experience because of all the”

depths of emotion I've been in all these last days. For Joe, the reason my serenity is so great is because I've embraced the depths of myself. The reason I can go 10 hours in silence is because I've embraced the depths of myself. The reason I can live and do a podcast like this and literally have two or three, two or three notes and just share and talk because I've embraced the depths of myself. I've given a voice to the depths of my emotions. And my message to the world, how do we heal

humanity? We heal humanity truly when people understand that serenity, that sense of overwhelming okness, the sense of the kingdom, the sense of garden of Eden inside you, serenity. Serenity is on the other side of your pain, not avoiding the pain, not acting like the pain is not there, not suppressing the pain. Serenity is experienced when we reach the pain, feel the pain, grieve the pain, emot the pain, long enough to where then the pain feels better.

Why it ends up being such a spiritually vent and why it ends up being such a

overwhelming powerful event is because the emotional intelligence, when you truly intellectually

understand that your grandness, your serenity, the peace, the live a peaceful, prosperous life, is when you accomplish the impossible. And right now, the impossible is, Joe, I have pain in there that I cannot feel. I know, I know you do. How do we overcome the impossible? What is the how to? The how to is don't do it alone. And I'm not talking about alone as if in another human in the room. I'm talking about your humanity is not designed to embrace the depths of your emotional

sense of self without the support of your divinity. Hear me, you are a we, your entire life,

me, the human sense of yourself. And you've got Debsapain in you that your humanity by itself

is not designed to embrace. It can't do it alone. The other side of aloneness is pursuing oneness inside. Ask, listen, and then live it. Ask your divinity when you're in pain. Dear God, Joe says, give me the strength and the courage to feel what I need to heal. Dear God, give me the strength and the courage to feel what I needed to heal. In my darkest days, folks, I, that mantra, it's all I would say, hundreds of times a day.

If you're in a dark place of pain today, try it. Why? Because your humanity isn't designed. The reason humanity believes it's impossible to feel the Debsapain because for humanity with just itself, it isn't possible. Well, there's nothing impossible when your divinity gets involved. When you commune with the grander part of you as emotional support, as the position of strength, the source of your strength, the source of your courage. And yes, of course, have other people around

you if that's your path. Yes, and we create a sense of we in the healing of our Debs, because literally, human self asks higher self to give it the courage to embrace deeper self. I happen to be pretty practiced that I'm a living testimony that it works. In my silence, which now has become silence and stillness in a way that I haven't experienced in a really, really long time. I'm starting to hear a voice. And the voice is the voice of my dad saying,

"I'll take care of Zeus son. I'll take care of him. I'll take care of Zeus son. I'll take care of him."

“Folks, thanks for listening to me. We all are on a path that sometimes we remember days, right?”

Well, August the 5th is a day that will be written about August the 6th when I'm recording this. We part of my message now for a very long time. This is part of a podcast that I literally for the first time, except the one that did, you know, right after my dad died in January. I knew what this podcast is going to be. I knew there's going to be a emotional pain. I knew, and I'm doing it, and I'm glad I made it, and I'm glad you're still here, and I'm glad you're supporting me.

And I'm glad we're here together. The we podcast is doing something that's never been done before.

And why is that? Because together, your divinity is connecting to mine. And today, your emotional sense of self is connecting to mine. If you make it through this podcast, you are a true spiritual

“warrior. Please tell other people about it. And please remember to listen to episodes over and over”

and by design, we're creating a library of ongoing emotional support so that no matter where you are, you can be emotionally supported. Let my voice keep your company in your darkest times. Let my voice give you the strength and courage sometimes to feel these. You didn't think you could. Let my voice let my experience say to you, and I will say to you, folks, if I can do it, you can do it. I am not special. I am simply practiced. And if I can do it, you can do it. If you're going through a

divorce, or you know somebody going through a divorce, be the supporter. Send them to that website, divorce post. How easy is that? I don't know what it is. I just know it's cool. Either gain support from somebody if you're in pain, or be the supporter of somebody in pain.

“Either way, that's how we heal humanity. And together, we're doing it. Together,”

we're embracing ourselves. We're holding each other. We're embracing the depths of a motion together. Together, we're living the impossible. We're making it on the other side. We're

actually going to be able to heal things in a way that the world and yourself never thought you could.

But you can't. You literally are experiencing the emotional side of somebody who can't breathe

you can tell one. And as we do that together, we heal. As we all come together, we heal humanity.

“And together, we're making a difference. One smile at a time. And from around the world,”

please visit JoeMidika.com and download my book, filling the void. It's free. JoeMidika.com.

I want to welcome everybody to we.

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